no wonder why my heart feels dead inside

Just to be clear, it’s a date.

First I’d like to say thank you to @carryonsimoncarryon for being the most fantastic friend I’ve had in ages, and for being such an helpful and kind beta <#

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Find me / it on ao3

(Simon’s POV)

His black hair is hanging loose today, swaying gently against his face as he leans forward to take another bite of his sandwich. Those grey piercing eyes are as mesmerizing as ever, and his skin has a tan glow that seems to be shining especially beautifully.

I sneak glances at him every now and then, sometimes meeting his eyes, and my heart skips a beat.

He catches me staring again. Crowley, he’s beautiful; handsome, masculine and yet elegant, all at the same time. As our eyes meet, I smile back at him. His smile is the most heartwarming thing I’ve ever seen, and I can feel the heat rising to my checks. My eyes quickly dart back towards my cherry scone, hoping for the blush to fade. One day I’ll get up the courage to ask him if I can sit with him. I’ll talk to him, and maybe if I’m feeling especially brave, I’ll ask him out, or ask for his number. I don’t know yet. I have to work up the courage first. One day, but not today.

~~~~~

He’s still there every day at lunch. Today his black hair is pulled into a bun, and his stylish black turtleneck rests perfectly against his neck.

Today is the day, I told myself this morning, hoping that he might not be there. Hoping that he’d gotten sick of my staring, or that he’d have to work during his break, so that I’d have an excuse to wait another day or two.

It didn’t really surprise me when I saw him sitting there, in his regular spot by the fountain. As I meet his eyes across the park I realize I’ve stopped in my tracks, and I can feel my heart race. Today is the day, I tell myself once more. His smile melts my heart, and it gives me courage to make my feet move forward again.

As I walk, I stare intensely at my cup of coffee and the brown paper bag with a cherry scone in it. It’ll be fine. He won’t tell you to leave; he’ll be nice and talk to you. Okay, one foot in front of the other. Keep it going. I encourage myself to walk to my usual spot at the bench next to him. As I move forward, I can feel a pair of eyes at me, and when I look up, I meet his gaze. I smile as he shuffles to the side, making room next to him on the bench.

“Hi, can I sit?” I ask shyly. He smiles and nods.

“Why else would I move over for? Other than to make room for you I mean?” he chuckles, and I can feel my heart racing as the heat spreads throughout my body. This is my new favorite sound. It must be. I’m sure of it.

I sit down next to him; not so close that I’d seem like a creep, but close enough to easily see the color and pattern in his perfect grey eyes. They remind me of wet pavement, but they’re much, much more appealing to stare into. I support my coffee cup between my thighs and rest the paper bag with my scone in on top of it. Then I extend my arm out towards him.

“Simon,” I say, introducing myself.

“Baz,” he smiles, gently grabbing my hand and shaking it. It almost feels like silk, his skin, it’s smooth but his hand is freezing cold, even now this late in spring.

“I was wondering when you’d finally come talk to me, you know,” he says. “I’ve seen you staring.” He lets go of my hand before grabbing his cup and sipping his tea. Blackcurrant, I think, as the scent flows towards my face.

I feel the heat rising to my cheeks once again, and I look down, staring intensely at my hands.

“Well, here I am,” I whisper, almost regretting not having this conversation with myself in my head before actually approaching him. That’s silly, I know, because I could have never known what he’d say. But still, I feel like I should have a better answer. I nervously pull my hand through my bronze curls and I can see him. Baz. He’s smiling at me. I can see it from the corner of my eye, so I turn to look at him. Why did my words always come short whenever I tried to talk to other people than Penny? Penny is always easy to talk to.

“You- you know, I’ve been thinking, um, about asking y-you this, for… for quite a while now, actually. Um… Would- would you like to go out to dinner? Um, with me?” I stutter, pushing the words out, choking on them twice. I look at him for a split second, and then I ruffle my curls again, purposely putting my hand in the way so that I can’t look at him. I don’t was to know what rejection looks like. I  really don’t. At least not from him.

“Yes, I’d like that. Did you have a specific time in mind?” His voice is cheery, and I look at him from the corner of my eye as I slowly lower my hand.

“Really?” I ask, surprised before I can even stop myself. “I mean, I don’t. I thought I’d have to ask you first.” I’m stumbling over my own words, but I can’t help the smile spreading bigger across my face as I see him smiling too.

“I’d ask you to give me your number,” he says, and I feel my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach. He’s just kindly rejecting me, I think. “But since my phone died this morning at work and I didn’t bring my charger, I’ll have to give you my number instead.”

My heart is racing. I was sure he’d been trying to reject me in the kindest of ways, but his phone is dead. That’s all. I grin, feeling relieved as he pushes his perfectly smooth, tan hand in front of my face, asking for my phone.

I dig through my pockets, wondering where I put that damn phone. Finally, as I feel a vibrating against my chest, I remember putting it on the inside pocket of my jacket. I never put it there, so why I did so now I have no idea. I look at the caller ID: ‘Penny’ it says, with a rather unpretty picture of me and her grimacing, both dressed up for halloween. I blush and hang up on her.

Suddenly, closer than before, I can feel Baz tense beside me.

“Your girlfriend?” he asks, slowly moving a few inches further away from me.

“Nope. That’s just Penny, my best friend,” I say, smiling reassuringly at him. She calls once more. And I hang up again before opening my contacts and offering the phone to Baz.

He grabs it, studying me; uncertain, as if he’s doing something he shouldn’t be doing. I nod and smile once more, and soon he’s saved himself as a contact in my phone. Handing me back my phone, our hands grace each other, and I feel my cheeks burning, and the butterflies going crazy in my stomach. I really do hate that I blush this easily.

As both of us realize that our breaks are over. we both stand up, almost mechanically. In the motion, as if on autopilot, I grab my scone and my coffee. And since we didn’t get a chance to discuss dinner any further, I tell him: “I’ll text you so you’ll have my number, okay? And we’ll find a time and date then?”

He nods, turning away with a smile on his lips. I grin, and since I’m feeling extra brave as we’re about to leave in our different directions, I turn halfway around and add over my shoulder: “And by the way, just to be clear, it’s a date.”

a semi-serious playlist (because some of the songs are just me trying to be funny)

playmoss | youtube

01. romance
Romance Anónimo,  Romance d'Amour or Spanish Romance, which originates in the 19th century 

02. dearly departed (marianas trench)
(we’ll toast what could have been/ my dearly departed)

03. wolf in sheep’s clothing  (set it off)
(tell me how you’re sleeping easy/ how you’re only thinking only of yourself/ show me how you justify/ tell me are your lies like second nature)

04. sweet dreams (are made of this) (sucker punch soundtrack version)
(travelled the world and the seven seas/ everybody’s looking for something)

05. i can’t decide (scissor sisters)
(no wonder why my heart feels dead inside/ it’s cold and hard and petrified)

06. death on two legs (queen)
(death on two legs/ you’re tearing me apart/ death on two legs/ you never had a heart of your own)

07. miss jackson (panic! at the disco)
(out the back door, goddamn/ but i love her anyway/ miss jackson/ are you nasty?)

08. 505 (artic monkeys)
(i’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck/ or i did, last time i checked)

09. troublemaker (olly murs feat. flo rida)
(my mind keeps saying ‘run as fast as you can’)

10. angel of small death and the codeine scene (hozier)
(freshly disowned in some frozen devotion/ no more alone or myself could i be/ looks like i strayed to the arms that were open/ no shortage of sordid, no protest from me)

11. in hell i’ll be in good company (the dead south)
(my life’s a bit more colder/ dead wife is what i told her)

12. the fire (bishop briggs)
( ‘cause i’ve been a devil/ i’ve been a saint/ somebody help me/ i can’t change)

13. mighty fall (fall out boy)
(baby we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it/ cause you think, you think your only crime is that you got caught/ i’m singing oh/ how the mighty fall, the mighty fall/ the mighty fall/ , they fall in love)

14. take me to church (hozier)
(i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies/ i’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife/ offer me that deathless death/ good god, let me give you my life)

15. nicotine (panic! at the disco)
(just one more hit and then we’re through/ ‘cause you could never love me back/ cut off all ties i have to you/ ‘cause your love’s a fucking trap)

16. i found (amber run)
(i found love where it wasn’t supposed to be/ right in front of me/ talk some sense to me)

* I can’t decide, whether you should live or die. 

* Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry~

* No wonder why

* My heart feels dead inside. It’s

* Cold

* And Hard

* And Petrified. 

* Lock the Doors and Close the Blinds

* WE’RE GOIN’ FOR A RIDE~


((Also bonus gif)) 

  • Saeran: You know MC, I can't decide whether you should live or die.
  • MC: Oh... *Sighs sadly*
  • Saeran: MC...You'll probably go to heaven, Please don't hang your head and cry...No wonder why, my heart feels dead inside.
  • MC: Saeran... T_T
  • Saeran: It's cold and hard and petrified
  • MC: *hugs the broken bleached emo boi*
  • Saeyoung: *Slides into the room* WAS SOMEONE REFERENCING THAT SCISSOR SISTERS SONG IN HERE?!?
I can’t decide

I Can’t Decide

Scissor Sisters

It’s not easy having yourself a good time
Greasing up those bets and betters
Watching out they don’t four-letter

Originally posted by led-lite

F**k and kiss you both at the same time
Smells like something I’ve forgotten
Curled up died and now it’s rotten

I’m not a gangster tonight
Don’t wanna be a bad guy
I’m just a loner baby
And now you’ve gotten in my way

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry

No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride

It’s a b**ch convincing people to like you
If I stop now call me a quitter
If lies were cats you’d be a litter

Originally posted by ohsoswiftly

Pleasing everyone isn’t like you
Dancing jigs until I’m crippled
Slug ten drinks I won’t get pickled

Originally posted by personalshiznik

I’ve got to hand it to you
You’ve played by all the same rules
It takes the truth to fool me
And now you’ve made me angry

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride

Oh, I could throw you in the lake
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake
I won’t deny I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone

Oh, I could bury you alive
But you might crawl out with a knife
And kill me when I’m sleeping
That’s why

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride


Pictures not mine I just played @tomloki provided the cake gif thank  you

@anovinebo @booksandcatslover @peskipixi @tomforachange @clojury @the-haven-of-fiction @jdmookami @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @heathermc13 @damageditem @mrshiddelston @oeffsee @ourladybinxthings @aggro-femme @antyc67 @tinaferraldo @ladywyldfire @ancientfinnishgoddess @siyoteodiara @servent-alearika @tomhiddleston-kikibfairy @tomkurbikston  @larouau12 @hotchpotch53 @prplprincez @lolawashere @fellowhiddlestoner @archy3001 @the-lady-mischief @abfoster1s @feelmyroarrr @nenarea85 @frenchblondgirl @bluegrasscontessa @dorito82 @aliceada

anonymous asked:

I can't help but imagine Subaru singing '7 Things' (the Miley Cyrus song) about Kino... But what song would Kino sing about Subaru?

Kino- *gasps and looks over to Subaru* Awww, that’d be so adorable~ Subaru, why don’t you serenade me?

Subaru- C-Cause you’re a fucking pri-

Kino- Now, now, let’s not get so vulgar~ …. Subabu-kun, can you sit down in that chair over there for me?

Subaru- I’ll kick your ass if you try anything stupid *sighs and sits down*

Kino- *beams* Good boy, now sit still. *straddles Subaru’s lap and wraps his arms around his neck tightly* I can’t decide~ Whether you should live or die. Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry- No wonder why my heart feels dead inside. It’s cold and hard and petrified. Lock the doors and close the blinds *suggestive hip roll* We’re goin’ for a ride-

Subaru- *shoves Kino off, blushing darkly* W-What the fuck dude-

She Gave So Much

Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Warnings: Emotional, little fluff, some strong language, mention of death
Word count: 2846 words
Song: Storm - Lifehouse
Summary: Reader pays a visit to the final resting place of her sister for the first time since her death. It hits her her hard, but Dean shows up to support her. Set somewhere Season 2.
A/N: Fourth imagine already! I wrote this a while ago and originally it were two different chapters which I merged. I hope you like it, let me know! English is not my first language, so feedback and reviews would be great! 

Originally posted by bbalthazarr

With reluctance you enter the grounds of the Holy Cross Cemetery in San Diego, California. A deep breath passes your lips as the car passes through through the gate and turn down the radio. It almost seems if your blue 69’ Camaro spurs softer, not wanting to disturb the peace on this final resting place. It always surprises you how peaceful graveyards are during the day. Most of the time you visit them at night to dig up a body to salt and burn, during those dark hours it’s about the last place you’d want to be. But under these clear skies the green hills seems like what most people would picture heaven to be. Different stones, crosses and statues indicate the resting places of ones who were lost. Angels watching over them, warm and comforting words on marble. And hundreds, hundreds of names. 

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