no to tesco

jo, az igazsaghoz hozzatartozik, hogy tegnap, miutan puncin nyomtam magam egy femhordoval es sirtam orakig, akkor kerestem egy kannat es atsetaltam kisirt szemekkel a benzinkutra, tankoltam 2 liter benzint, azzal a tolcserrel, amivel a paradicsomot fozom be. eloszor a kibaszott most kelo viragait akartam leonteni es felgyujtani, aztan a hires zoldsegeinket. ket liter arra lenne eleg, hogy korulbelul kifufustolje a vakondot, aki csak akkor jelenik meg, ha elultetek valamit. valami uj benzinkutas volt, aki nem ertette a tescos asvanyvizes flaskat es finoman rakerdezett, hogy mivegre viszem ezt. elmeseltem neki a tervem. erre o azt mondta, hogy cuki vagyok. duhomben vettem egy chipset is, amit hazafele befaltam. de hat ezt is ugy kell elkepzelni, hogy papucsban gazolok at benzinkut melletti reten, vizesek a labujjaim, erobol tolom a chipset, mert nem ettem mar szerda ota. aztan alltam tanacstalanul a kertben, hogy hova ontsem a benzint, mit kellene felegetni a picsaba.
vegul megint sirtam vagy fel orat es rajottem, hogy nem tudok nekik artani a sajat faszsagom miatt. ma meg szinten konnyezve kotoztem oket fel.

nem cigiztem es ittam ket napja.

rainfell15  asked:

How's our birthday boy and s/o celebrating the occasion? 😙🎈🎉

  • Loooooooooong lie in. Y’all ain’t getting out of bed until at least 10am
  • Morning sex/blowjob for the birthday boy
  • Sleepy cuddles afterwards, and then you finally suggest that the two of you get breakfast
  • The two of you start out making omelettes, which then turns into eggy bread, which then turns into drinking expensive whiskey, which then turns into slow dancing in the kitchen to Drops Of Jupiter in your pyjamas
  • Someone has the smart idea to make a birthday cake, so BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR BREAKFAST
  • Except all you have is 3 half beaten eggs, an ancient packet of brownie mix, some sugar, and half a bottle of vodka
    • SO YOU IMPROVISE
  • Surprise surprise it all goes badly and the cake ends up burnt on the outside and completely liquid on the inside
  • So instead you run out to the nearest Tesco’s and buy him a Colin the Caterpillar birthday cake which is just as good as the failed brownie-vodka cake
  • You give him his presents while eating cake on the sofa, telling him funny stories about the meaning behind each one
    • + birthday kisses for the birthday boy
  • FINALLY the others wake up, and he gets MORE birthday hugs and presents
  • The 5 of you go out that evening for a really nice meal and you drag them home before any of them get the smart idea to go to a nightclub
  • His parents call when y’all get back to wish him a happy birthday, so you sneak off while he’s talking to them to put together his final birthday present
  • When he comes up to his room, lo and behold, he finds his final present lying on his bed
  • You, in sexy blue lace lingerie, with a massive red bow tied around your waist 
  • Lemme just say his birthday ain’t quite over yet ;)

You know, sometimes I just crave a big, greasy fast food meal. And that’s fine, because you can totally make a healthy homemade version of it that gives you the same satisfaction! Healthy eating should be fun and exciting enough to be sustainable long-term.

Here I have a spicy Tesco Vegan Mexican Bean Burger which I baked from frozen (you can definitely make your own veggie patties too if you want!). I made my burger with wholewheat toast and filled it with with some kale and sliced tomatoes. I served it with a side of homemade potato and carrot chips, which I prepared by cutting a medium-sized potato and carrot into wedges, and coating it with olive oil, paprika, dried herbs and onion powder. Then I baked it in the oven at 200 degrees Celsius with the burger for 20-40 mins (the burger was done first after 20 mins, so I left the chips in the oven to crisp up).

So delicious and definitely satisfied that fast food craving of mine.

Wings of Butterflies

A/N: Adele believes in trilogies, I believe in pentalogies. This is the fifth and final installment to Rotation (I mean it this time). 

// Another Man’s Treasure // Mind on a Mission // Take the Lead // Worth the Pain //


Who knew the South of France could be boring?

Neither the wine nor the men, either the beaches or the crystal clear water could interest you. Your family knew something was up with you, your brother even attempting a heart-to-heart one night to pry deep into the corners of your mind to understand why you weren’t your happy, bubbly self. Even Harry’s family had taken notice, his sister struggling to get more than three word answers from you, either via text or in person, over the last few months.

But you stayed mum. You hadn’t much to say anyway. You’d done a lot of growing, a lot of thinking, since Harry had left you all alone.

If life were divided into chapters, the night he came round and the morning he left made for a very distinct Ending and Beginning.

Harry hadn’t been able to ignore you for much longer than a week. Not because of your persistence—no, you hadn’t reached out to him again since the day he all but vanished from your bed—but because guilt kept gnawing at his conscious every time he looked at his phone. He’d read all the texts—and saved them, too—stared at the missed call notifications, but he hadn’t brought himself to listen to the voicemail you’d left late that evening. He hadn’t mustered up the courage, and he was disgusted with himself for it.

So, with a deep breath, he listened to the message. Better a week late than never, right?

You were crying; well, sobbing was more accurate. You didn’t say anything at first, probably not realizing the recording had clicked on as you choked in search of air. Once you settled down, you laid into him with a few choice words—all of which he agreed with—but it wasn’t the name calling that stuck with him or the way you hoped to never see him again that plagued him with regret. It was your final word, your final question, that haunted him.

Why?

Because there were a million reasons why and none of them excused him for being such a dickhead. And that made him angry, very angry, because there weren’t many situations he found himself completely lost in, unable to navigate the waters, yet here he was drowning in your tears without a buoy or damn life preserver in sight.

So he called.

And, despite being in the library studying for an exam, you answered. You hesitated at first, the stitches holding together your heart pulling at the seams with the sight of his name and his face across your screen, but answered nonetheless.

“Hello?”

Keep reading

3

Unplugged 

by waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee

Chapters: 1/1 (4638 words)
Fandom: One Direction (Band)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Characters: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson
Additional Tags: Timestamp, Boss Louis, Butt Plugs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Rimming, friction burn, Carpet Burn
Series: Part 2 of Tesco


Summary:

“I’m so fucking horny, Louis.”
Louis closed his eyes, taking a second to compose himself. That little prickle of arousal was swelling and it needed to be stopped.
“Harry, we’re at work. Control yourself.” He opened his eyes and cocked his eyebrow. “If my boss catches you in here-”
“Louis, you know as well as I do that all the managers are at a conference today,” Harry smirked. “And that means you are the most superior person in the building right now.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Louis laughed.


Harry and Louis didn’t have sex last night and Harry’s finding it difficult to cope.


A Tesco timestamp which can be read as a standalone.