no there are no big revelations or emotional moments in this book

The 7 Elements of a SCENE

There are few things as soul-crushing in the writing process (at least to me) than getting a bunch of characters in a room with the intention of something happening, then the characters proceed to stand around and stare at each other.  

Or worse, look at you like this. 

My characters didn’t know why they were there. I didn’t know why they were there either. I had no clue what they were supposed to be doing, so I’d start throwing random instructions at them: “Fight, characters! You guys should fight now! Maybe fighting will make this event have a purpose!” Which inevitably resulted in characters going through the motions of battle for no apparent reason, like they had all lost their minds.

What was the problem? I didn’t know how to write a scene. I didn’t know what a scene was. I had a vague definition that it was something about changing scenery, or just “something happening”.

It’s not. And once I learned what a scene was, my characters got to stop pummeling each other, while wishing they could pummel me. 

So what is a scene? 

The definition of a scene is kind of like the definition of a story. Story is change, a massive change in the life of your main character. A scene is change too, but much smaller, and part of that huge story change. You couldn’t have the BIG change without these tiny changes. Thus, a scene is not switching scenery. It’s not flipping to a new Character’s POV. It’s one segment of change, which triggers the next change, which triggers the next, which gradually build into sequences, which build into Acts, which build into story. 

So what goes into a scene? How does it work?

1. Alternating Charges

If a scene opens positive, it will turn negative by the end. If it opens negative, it will end positive. Simple. 

2. Character Goals

Everybody in a scene wants something. If they don’t want anything, they shouldn’t be in the scene. And these characters, with their often opposing goals, are going to employ different tactics on each other to get what they want. Which creates …

3. Escalating Conflict

Conflict is created when one character wants one thing and another wants something else, right? So the characters in the scene are each pushing for something different, each new tactic increasing in determination. And what are these actions called?  

4. Beats

The beats of a scene are exchanges of action and reaction. One character does something, another character reacts. All exchanges (beats) are pushing the scene onward, building tension and conflict, until finally …

5. Turns & Revelations

The scene turns. The positive has changed to negative. Something has been discovered. The story has spun in a new direction.

6. Connection to Story Objective

Every scene must be connected to the BIG goal of the story, the main character is taking small actions to reach that big goal. If it isn’t obviously connected to this big plot, it won’t make sense. Your reader won’t know why the heck they’re reading the scene. Which brings us to … 

7. Logic & Necessity  

Every scene must be necessary. It must be able to be linked with the previous scene. “Because that happened in the previous scene, THIS must happen in this scene.”

So! To see how that all works, let’s break down a scene from Tangled. (Because I used it in the last post to map out how a premise works, and my little writer heart can’t resist symmetry.)

Which scene? The one right after this happens: 

Opening Charge: Positive. She’s realized everything. 

Rapunzel’s Goal: Rise up against her mother – finally. 

Gothel’s Goal: Regain control.

Escalating Conflict: They’re fighting over who controls Rapunzel, and this battle causes them to go from “mother and daughter” to “enemies”. The conflict builds nicely in this scene, causing the story turn.

Connection to Story Objective: Throughout the movie, the big thing Rapunzel wants is freedom, she wants her life to begin, she wants to have a new dream. This is the moment she figures out how to do that; it’s not escaping the tower, it’s escaping Gothel’s control over her.

So! Here’s the scene.

Beat 1

“Rapunzel? Rapunzel, what’s going on up there?”

Ignores her. Still processing the tremendous implications of this revelation. 

Beat 2

“Are you alright?" 

"I’m the lost princess.” (Dumbfounded. Almost whispering it to herself.)

Beat 3

“Oh, please speak up Rapunzel! You know how I hate the mumbling.” (Bullying.)

“I am the lost princess! Aren’t I?” (Fighting back. She will not be bullied anymore.)

Beat 4

Gothel stares, stunned. She’s rendered temporarily speechless, because her secret’s been revealed finally, and her victim is actually fighting against her.

“Did I mumble, Mother? Or should I even call you that?” (Accusing. Drawing herself up taller. Looking down on Gothel and glaring. She’s seeing her clearly for the first time in her life.)

Beat 5

After a pause, thinking up a tactic. “Oh, Rapunzel, do you even hear yourself? How could you ask such a ridiculous question?” (Laughs. Ridicules. Attempts to make her feel childish, dumb, worthy of being mocked. Tactics which have always worked. She even begins to hug her.)

Rapunzel pushes her. “It was you! It was all you!” (Still accusing and angry, but pain is beginning to show. It’s almost like she’s giving her a chance to explain herself.)

Beat 6

“Everything I did was to protect you.” (And Gothel doesn’t say anything redeeming. She’s holier than thou, regal, bestowing kindness on an ungrateful, stupid child. Trying to control through guilt.)

Rapunzel rams her out of the way. 

Beat 7

“Rapunzel!” (Shouting. Now trying anger.)

“I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power …” (Leaves her.)

Beat 8

"Rapunzel!” (Still trying the anger angle.)

“But I should have been hiding from you.” (Throwing the truth at her.)

Beat 9

“Where will you go? He won’t be there for you.” (She’s tried everything else. It’s time to attack her heart.)

“What did you do to him?” (Fear)

Beat 10

“That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes.” (She’s keeping up the disapproving mother act, but striking her right where it will hurt her most.)

“No.” (She’s stopped. Shrinking in on herself. Staring, horrified. And Gothel thinks she’s won.)

Beat 11

“Now, now.  It’s alright. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.” She goes to pat Rapunzel’s head, a gesture symbolic of her superiority, her physical, mental, and emotional control over her victim.

Rapunzel grabs Gothel’s wrist. “No! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about me! And I will never let you use my hair again!" 

Beat 12

Gothel wrenches free, stumbling backwards in shock and anger, breaking the mirror in the process. 

Rapunzel walks away. She’s escaped Gothel emotionally now.

Beat 13

"You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. Now I’m the bad guy.” (Well, now emotional control is over. It’s time to start stabbing Rapunzel’s boyfriend.)

This action has no reaction, interestingly. It leaves us hanging, a cliffhanger created with only beats. 

Closing Charge: Negative. She’s now a full-fledged villain, the motherly persona shed, and she’s determined to get what she wants whatever the cost. 

Turn: It changed from positive to negative,  and now we’ve got a Flynn-stabbing witch to deal with.  

Revelation: She’s always been evil. She has always been the bad guy. The motherly act was just that, an act. 

Logic & Necessity: This scene fits with the previous scene, and the one that follows.     

Though I’ve seen these concepts in many books, the place I first learned about it (and the best resource for scene design in my opinion) is the book Story by Robert McKee. It’s helped me countless times, is one of my favorite books on storytelling, and I highly recommend it if you write anything.

I realize that these definitions were a little vague, so I’ll be explaining things more thoroughly in subsequent posts. 

anonymous asked:

If you wanna write a ficlet based on the tags you put about Derek not being good at receiving compliments so stiles compliments him always I can guarantee you that I will 100% read it and reblog it and comment about how much I love it :D

Well how can I resist that??

The first time it happened, Stiles didn’t think anything of it. Standing over the smoldering remains of the creature that just tried to kill them, he said “nice job”, gave Derek a friendly slap on the back, and suggested they go out for celebratory we didn’t die today milkshakes. He was pleasantly surprised when Derek both agreed and paid, and he dipped fries in both to see if they went better with his strawberry or Derek’s chocolate.

(The answer was chocolate, and Derek didn’t even get mad when three of Stiles’ fries were lost in his shake.)

The second time, he was marveling at the obscure text Derek managed to track down and said, “dude, you are literally the best, I’m buying you pizza!” And shockingly, Derek let him, and even told him what toppings he wanted. That might not seem like much in the grand scheme of things, but Stiles had spent years watching in silent judgment as Derek picked off half the toppings from the pizzas he ordered for the pack, as if he couldn’t get another for himself that he actually liked.

Stiles told him he liked the way he rearranged the loft, and Derek sat through the entire extended edition of The Fellowship of the Ring on his new flat screen.

When he mentioned liking the fancy pasta dish Derek made and asked for a lesson to make it, Derek agreed. He showered compliments on Derek’s meticulous overhaul of the bestiary and Derek let him borrow three books.

Derek never let anyone borrow his books, they never left the loft.

These events were all spread out enough that it took a while to click, but when it did, it was both a revelation and incredibly depressing: Derek had no idea what to do with even the most casual of compliments.

Sarcasm was no issue, Stiles knew that much—he’d personally thrown out enough nice martyr complex, jackass and the like to figure that out—but anything that was even remotely sincere?

He started paying attention after that, to the way Derek would stiffen and his eyes would widen a bit before his face closed off again. He would go quiet, maybe nod, and quickly agree to pretty much anything just to get the focus back off himself.

Because Derek was actually embarrassed by compliments.

Keep reading

How to become a good student (again) 4: Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband, cause I’m about to drop the p-bomb:

That’s right… p…p…pro…


I know. I know. The moment has come, man. Procrastination has cost me so many hours of my life that I will never get back and I guess it’s the same for you.
Here’s a bit of a secret - the first three posts so far? They were actually also about procrastination. Specifically, they were about WHY you or I might procrastinate.
1. Because you’re overwhelmed by choices
2. Because, goddamnit, it’s HARD to to start
3. Because you have a screwed up relationship with studying

Now, in this post, we will be tying these threads together by looking at the WHAT and the HOW. You’ve examined the roots, you’ve gotten rid of the pesky little bugs living down there, so… WHAT is procrastination really and HOW do you defeat it and actually start studying?

Procrastinaton, for me, is a state of mind, a surround sound and most of all: a place - it’s LIMBO. It’s physically being unable to do something. Being caught in a web (very often the world wide one). Drowning in water. Being pulled apart, gaining momentum, losing control, cotton in my ears, the heat of shame in my chest, a thousand voices in my mind that I try to silence.

“You should be -”
“You have to -”
“You must -”

“Do something, do something, do something, anything, anything, anything, anything”
“You loser, you can’t even -”
“YOU USED TO BE GREAT and now you’re just-”

I hate myself while doing it. I feel horrible. I feel useless.
But at the same time, at the very bottom of my mind, there is something that I’ve refused to acknowledge for the longest time: a sense of pleasure.
do I feel this weird sense of pleasure when I procrastinate? Why do I feel pleasure when I know I’m sabotaging my future through inaction? When I’m digging myself into a deeper and deeper grave? When I hate myself at the same time? Why do I procrastinate at all? Is it because of that underlying ironic pleasure?

Well, to find the answer to those questions, we first need to ask ourselves a bigger one: what is the OPPOSITE of limbo? If limbo is being caught in the middle of nowhere, floating, glitching, slowly imploding, then what is the opposite?
I’d say it’s movement, direction and action - you being in charge and moving things along, having agency, being alive and powerful and energetic and hot. I’d say it’s FLOW.

When I was a child, I had little to no problem syncing in and out of flow. It just came to me like second nature and I LOVED it. I loved the way my brain buzzed and I completely forgot about my surroundings. I loved disappearing into ideas, books, stories, video games, homework, a teacher’s lesson, a friend’s story, my own projects. I went in and out as I pleased and could turn it on and off like a light switch. It was so. much. fun. and I was so, so lucky to have had the privilege of such a talent.

Back then, I used to ache and hunger for a challenge. Things were smooth and easy and fun, but I wanted MORE - harder exercises, deeper questions, more challenging teachers. When I told my father about that, he smiled and said

“Be happy. You have put so much work into this. This is the moment it’s all paying off - you’ve turned and turned and turned your wheel and now it’s running smoothly along the street without even noticing how uneven the ground is.”

He was right, of course, but as time went on, I became more and dissatisfied with my smooth little wheel and started to procrastinate more and more. Why? And, again: where does the pleasure at procrastinating come from?

I’d argue that there are two main factors and one huge reason:

FACTOR 1: The wheel didn’t deliver on its promises

I already mentioned this in the very first post, but basically: disillusionment. I loved working hard, but I also expected it to pay off at some point. However, apart from the occasional pat on the head from a teacher or my parents’ smiles, there wasn’t all that much to be gained. There were no harder exercises, no special treatments, no big revelations - even university, my very last bastion of hope turned out to be a glorified bouncy castle.
I was just bored and the work I put into it wasn’t worth the outcome anymore. The system had failed me.

FACTOR 2: Suddenly, there were a lot of wheels

It is easy to glorify my younger self, but, really, child-me had it a lot easier.
Child-me only had one wheel to spin (school) and as I grew older, I realized that there were, well, many other wheels I had neglected.
I had a lot of catching up to do in areas like empathy, charisma, self-confidence and self-worth outside of academia, humour and fashion. And when I left school, there were even MORE wheels: suddenly, I also had to keep my job, my apartment, my much more complicated social life, my manifold hobbies and a somewhat healthy sleep schedule going.
I wasn’t prepared for this abundance of wheels. I’d grown up thinking that as long as I could keep the one wheel I was good at spinning (academia), I’d be juuuuust dandy. Well, I was wrong and I realized that, once again the system had failed me.

If only I’d had better teachers. If only I’d listened to the good ones. If only I’d worked the problem earlier. If only I was part of a better system that would recognize and foster my talents. Who knows how much I could achieve? Who knows how much I could have ALREADY achieved?

And that’s where the pleasure of procrastination comes from.
It is defiance. It is rebellion. It is a big “FUCK YOU” to the system that failed me. It is a “Look at me! I’m operating outside the system and I’m STILL getting semi-good grades. I don’t need any of you. I don’t need any of this. I’m playing by MY rules. I’m getting shit done MY way. Because YOUR way disappointed me. Because I am FREE.”

If, at this point, you’re starting to feel sorry for me (or yourself for being in a similar situation) …that’s exactly the problem. There’s really no way to say this nicely, so here we go:


Let me explain.
When you procrastinate, doesn’t it feel like you HAVE TO do things? Like you’re being FORCED to do something? Like you’re POWERLESS? Like you’re STUCK? Like you’re SUFFERING? Like you’re AT THE MERCY of your negative thoughts, the system or you’re conscience? Like you’re being WHIPPED AROUND? Like you crave recognition of your SUFFERING? Like you don’t have a choice except RUNNING AWAY and not facing what you’re FORCED to face?

All of these thoughts and emotions put you in the position of a sufferer - a victim.

You see yourself as a victim of the system, the school, the state, the assignment you should be working on. You deliver yourself unto their power. You submit to a simple dichotomy: I HAVE to do this or I SHOULD FEEL like shit.
I HAVE to do this, so I MUST suffer and accept the infringement of my freedom.

Well, let me tell you something that just about changed my life when I fully, deeply and profoundly realized the truth behind these words:


…or a bit more eloquently put:

You’re the one in control.

No, honestly. You are. 

If you wanted to, you could throw it all into the wind, take the next train to nowhere and see where life takes you. But do you want to do that? 
And, the even bigger question: why do you feel SO powerless that this small, stupid act of rebellion against The System is enough to intoxicate you SO much that you keep coming back to suckle on its sweet, sweet bitter nectar?

It’s because you feel trapped. It’s because you feel lost. 
It’s because you feel like you have so much potential and it’s all going to FUCKING waste and if somebody were to just give you a FUCKING hand you could really show everybody just how much you can FUCKING do and-

-let me stop you right there and let me ask you 4 questions:

You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are …but what’s the use of your intelligence if you can’t use it to improve your own life?

If you’re anything like me, you find it very easy and rewarding to help other people with their problems. You easily see the roots of problems and the ways that conflicts could be resolved. You’re an excellent trouble-shooter and a strategist in video games and for your friends… but what about your own life? Why do you ACCEPT playing the role of the victim in your own life?

Why do you accept this suffering?

Long story short: because you’ve grown used to it.

You’ve forgotten what it feels like to make active choices, to exert your full agency and to take full responsibility for whatever mess might come of it. Leading me to…

Question 2)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but what’s the use of your intelligence if you don’t take anything seriously?

Be honest: when was the last time you took anything seriously and gave it your all? …no? Nothing?

Well, if you’re anything like me, I’m sure you know the neat excuse of “eh, I was just winging it, but if I REALLY tried-” and do you know what that is? It’s cowardice and it’s self-victimization.

I know I’m coming on very strong.
But the truth is this: I know this. I know this because I’ve been living this. I’ve been living a second-hand life that I allowed to be ruled by “the system” and guilt and made-up obligations …and I almost lost myself in the process.

Maybe you can realize it with me: It’s some time ago, I wake up in the middle of the night and randomly feel like taking an IQ test online. I’m still half-asleep, I roll onto my stomach, I don’t even sit up, I meander my way through the questions. Shit. I realize that time is running out and I haven’t even finished ¾ of the questions! I panick. I feel guilty. I finally sit up. I start trying harder. I’m getting faster and faster - faster than I ever thought possible. And despite 5 minutes of good effort - 
I fail. Hard.
And as I sit there in my dark room, my unbelievably sucky result glowing on the screen of my mobile phone and I look out of the window, I realize: this has been my life for the past 5 years. Winging stuff at not even 50% of my capacity and being hurt by the results. Honestly, when WAS the last time I took anything really seriously? 

The next day, I get 8 hours of sleep, sit down in front of my laptop with a bottle of water, search for the most professional IQ test I can find and concentrate from the very beginning. I score 30 points higher. 

Let me repeat that: I scored 30 points higher on an IQ test because I actually tried. Magical things can happen if you take stuff seriously.

Leading us to

Question 3)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but when was the last time your intelligence has brought you joy?

Maybe you’re familiar with the phrase “The burnt child dreads the fire”? When I thought back on my academic progress in the last years, I realized that there really hadn’t been much joy anywhere. Pretty much everything had sucked. 

Big time.

Of course I wouldn’t want to invest my energy into something that didn’t yield any good results … right?

Wrong. My lack of good results was only an indicator for the real problem: my lack of effort.
The simple truth is this: 
We are smart. We enjoy doing what we are good at. We enjoy hard mental work, REGARDLESS of the results.
But once I started to focus too much on the results and thought it was all about having a great CV and min-maxing my grades… I just didn’t have fun anymore. I didn’t allow myself to have fun anymore. To disappear into a world of thoughts like I used to as a child. To invest way too much time into a project, to have an absolute BLAST creating something complex and outstanding and super cool. 

Bringing us to…

Question 4) 
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but can you really create something extraordinary?

See that’s the thing: when I was a child, I didn’t just take school seriously.
I wanted to go the extra mile. 
And honestly? That was the whole secret. I wanted to create something that wasn’t just special but mind-blowingly special. It’s not like I knew I had it in me, but rather that I wanted grow to have more and more in me and I knew that the only way to do that was to challenge myself again and again.
That’s the difference between viewing your intelligence and your capabilities as stagnant or growing. There is no joy and no truth in regarding yourself as stagnant - the best of violin players started out sounding like a dying cat and the best athletes kept stumbling. If you want to create and become something extraordinary, you need to know that it will not happen overnight. You need to know that it will be a slow, hard and challenging hike up a hill and the only thing that keeps you climbing is your willingness to go the extra mile so you can see the view become more and more beautiful.

The real pleasure of studying is not getting good results and bragging rights - that’s just a cool side-effect. The real pleasure of studying is studying and that means working and knowing that working gets you one step ahead one step at a time.

So HOW can you change? HOW can you regain control? How can you consciously go from limbo to flow?
First of all:


The first thing I tell myself in the morning is “My life is in my hands.”
That’s not always an easy sentence to start with, especially if I haven’t slept well or if I’m sick or in the middle of a fight or an existential crisis or just crabby.
But it’s always true. It’s MY life and it’s my responsibility to make the best of it. 

One poem in particular has really helped me, so who knows, maybe it’ll help some of you guys as well:

The Vow

No matter how deep the sadness or wide the pain,
I vow to live for a brighter day will come again.

No matter how many mistakes I’ve made in the past,
I vow to live and in the future avoid them, surefooted and fast.

No matter how many tragedies beyond my control take place,
I vow to live and stay my course within this race.

No matter how poor or rich I may ever be,
I vow to live and aspire to search for the dignity in simplicity.

No matter how much a lover may pierce the inner core of my heart,
I vow to live for like spring I’ll get a new start.

No matter how isolated and alone I may feel,
I vow to live and do something for someone else to heal.

No matter how hopeless my situation my appear,
I vow to live and reflect until my viewpoint is clear.

No matter what happens in this life – good or bad
I vow to live, do my best, and just for living – be glad.

– Malcolm O. Varner

If you want to find pleasure in studying again, you need to embrace your own passion.
I know it’s a lot “cooler” to be indifferent towards studying, to procrastinate, to do it almost out of spite and at the last minute. But is it really?
No one wins. It’s not rewarding. It’s not fulfilling. You’ll have forgotten it in a week. It just sucks for everyone involved. Love what you do. Love it like you would a lover. Be considerate, be tender and be patient.
It must not feel like an obligation. It must feel like a passion - a fiery want for new horizons, mentals fireworks and lightbulb moments. It must come from yourself, from your bowels, your fibres, your blood - not from some ominous outside force. 

“I have to do this.” -> “I want to do this!”
“I’m losing time. There is so much I have to do, I want to be done with this already.” -> “I want to give this my time. This is absolutely worth it. I really want to be doing this right now.”
“Be fast. Be faster.” -> “Slow down. Be patient. Cherish this moment.”
“This is hard. I hate it. I hate it so much.” -> “This is challenging. I love it. I love it so much.”
“I can make this perfect, it has to be perfect! I could give this my all, I can give this my all. If I’m not giving this my all, I’m a complete and utter failure. Better not try at all rather than screwing it up. Again.”   -> “This is a work-in-progress, just like anything else. I am sure I can improve it bit by bit, by devoting some of my time to it. Even if I don’t get very far today, I’m sure the experience will pay off in the long run and I might find some unrelated ideas for other projects!”

You must go from this:

To that:


(Like, maybe make the choice NOT to wear that speedo)

Because that’s really what it comes down to in the end: CHOICE. Nobody actively chooses to procrastinate. Procrastination is the absence of choice. 

Years of little to no success make you feel like your choices don’t matter -> you feel like you cannot influence anything -> you might as well not try -> you procrastinate.
But here’s the thing: your choices DO matter (DITCH that speedo!) and you must regain that trust in yourself.

We NEED to be able to make choices about their own lives. It makes us feel powerful and like we are truly alive.
It makes us feel like we are, you guessed it, in the flow.

Now, of course it’d be nice if I told you “Make conscious choices sweaty <3 ;*” and you’d go out and do it and that was it. But, truth be told, it’s hella hard to get there and it will take you at least a year of constant effort.
For me, this year meant constantly asking myself “Wait, do I REALLY want to do this right now?” and establishing a neat rule for all media consumption that goes “Always enrichment, never escape”. But, as I said, that’s a work-in-progress and something that you will have to work on in your own time and at your own pace.
Luckily, I found a shortcut :D

Now, the shortcut does not replace the year of constant effort, mind you, but it can help to make it a lot easier:


What’s the “Study Room”? Well…
You might have been wondering what the title “Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself” is all about. This was my thought process:

  • 1) I want to get from limbo to flow
  • 2) And I want studying to feel like a reward in and of itself
  • 3) And it’d be nice if I could concentrate on just spinning one wheel at a time, so I can really lose myself in it
  • 4) I also want it to be a conscious choice, so I can train my decision-making process
  • ….
  • ….but how?
  • …”fake it till you make it” or what, haha?
  • ….I guess what that really means is that you have to act like you’re already there until you’re there?
  • …so, like, you have to artifically induce naturalness?
  • …haha, wouldn’t it be neat if I could do that and “transform” into my “study-form” like the Avatar or a magical girl or a superhero or something?
  • …..
  • …wait. Wait. WAIT. What if I COULD?
  • What if there was a “me” that was specifically always in the flow and already loves and is good at studying and which I only access whenever I want to study?
  • So I create a new “me”, so that, over time, we can become one again and I can change into that “me” whenever I want?
  • …cool.
  • …but how?
  • I could always go to a special place, but that would limit me whenever that place wasn’t availabe.
  • …buuuuuut…..
  • …..what if it was a place I could ALWAYS access?
  • what if it was a place in my MIND?
  • ….
  • …..holy SHIT.

And that’s how the “Study Room” was born. Below, I will detail the journey to my personal “study room”, but I wager that everybody’s study room will look a little different depending on what makes you feel most comfortable, rational and “in the flow”.


Close your eyes. Lean back.
Do it with me now. Consider this your tutorial. Bring yourself to a screeching halt, throw an anchor into the the ground of the stormy sea, pull the brakes, just - stop. Stop. Slow down.
Close your eyes, lean back, keep your eyes closed for a good minute - god, how long a minute can be, right?- and feel your breathing consciously, slowly, feel how you are alive and full of hunger, feel how your heart beats, feel how much tension has built up inside of you, how much energy has been stored and how much you actually ache to do something meaningful. Feel it. Keep your eyes closed until you feel it. Then, come back to me.


I don’t know if you’ll need this step, but I live very much inside my head and limbo just makes that effect even stronger. So, I like to remind myself of my physicality, of my spatial realness, of my ability to perceive and interact with the world in this step. I re-connect with the world and it slows me down even more - it’s a bit like hooking myself into this world, so limbo can’t claim me so easily.
I drink a glass of water, I eat a carrot, I touch a cold tile, I feel the texture of a pillow, I play with my own hair - if I’m in public, like in a library, I usually just brush over my lips or grip the table unobtrusively. It’s a small step, one that usually doesn’t take longer than 10 seconds, but it’s one that has helped me a lot.

(When I’m really caught up in limbo, I usually lie down on the floor in my room. That works wonders)


At this point, I close my eyes again and visualize. I enter another world, the world of studying in my mind.


My eyes are still closed and imagine a dark, circular room: this is the entrance to my Study Room ™. I stand in the middle of the room - there is one door right in front of me, two to my left and two to my right. I have no idea what’s behind those other doors or why my imagination has conjured up a room like that, but hey, it works and here we are.
I gather all my concentration and repeat “My life is in my hands. I take on the responsibility for my own life. I WANT to learn. I CHOOSE this.” to myself. Then, I consciously choose to walk in only one direction, channeling all my thoughts into a straight line: towards the door right in front of me. I enter through it - somehow, I never have to actually open it, so it might be more like an open doorway?


I step through the door and find myself in a space filled with water. I have absolutely no trouble breathing and I can easily swim, turn, glide and spiral like a dolphin. The water washes the last remnants of limbo off me, I feel my tensions washing away, my mind waking up, the wheel starting to move, my chest feeling lighter, my heart feeling hotter, my breathing going slow and steady. I swim in this liminal space for as long as I need to, I revel, I breathe, I wallow, I luxuriate until I feel ready to emerge from the water.
(wonder what psychologists would say about this little ritual - is it a literal re-birth? is this the womb? who knows? it works and that’s good enough for me right now …now that I think about it, that beach scene from Gravity might have been an inspiration. Man, I loved that movie already, but that ending?? Aaaaanyway, moving on…)


Then, I swim upwards and emerge from the water, head-first. The sun is warm and shines on my head and I step out of the water with bare feet, toes curling around grass and my lungs breathing in fresh forest air. Somewhere, a bird is singing, white clouds are languidly drifting by, all is warm, comfortable and good. I sit down on a giant mushroom by a tree (hey, don’t ask me, I don’t know), take a last deep breath and put pen to paper.
At this point, I open my eyes in the real world. I am completely relaxed, a thousand miles away from limbo, in another dimension even, calm and happy to engage with questions and wonders.

I’m in the flow.

In this world, I am a different me. A “study-me”.
In time, this me and I will merge again and we have already merged quite a bit. My walk through the Study Room process has become faster and faster and I am quite certain that, in time, it won’t take longer than a fraction of a second and it will seem like I can switch my flow on and off again like I used to. My study wheel is rolling again.

But if yours isn’t just yet, then …this is it. This is how, this is why and this is the very moment I re-connect with my “study values”, my passion and my agency, again and again and I choose to do it. Again. And again.

It is, really, all about choice.

And that’s the advantage I have over the old me. The old me studied because I didn’t know anything else and because I thought that I had to. 
The me right now chooses to study because I want to. And that makes it ten times more effective, more freeing and more fun.

So run wild, enjoy, actively enter that world of studying in your head, no matter what yours might look like (rain? palm trees? other planet? go bonkers!), it’s about choosing this and wanting this. It is about YOU saying “Yes, there are other interesting things and wheels out there, but right here, right now, I want this, nothing else and I will give it all of myself for as long as I want to.”

As you might have guessed by the gifs, I really recommend watching Free! Iwatobi Swim Club if you’re interested in overcoming procrastination.
(I swear I’m not sponsored by KyoAni, but for all their other shortcomings, their characters always have amazing character arcs when it comes to professionalism and passions) Both Rin and Haru are caught in their own versions of limbo and following Rin’s journey in Season 1 and Haru’s journey in Season 2 really helped me realize a lot of things about my own life and about how I dealt with passion, talent and my career.

The last part of this series will include a Q&A, so if there is something you didn’t quite understand or are unsure about, something you’d like to add or recommend to others, something you’d like me to explain in more detail or demonstrate through other examples, please, just write me a message (my inbox is absolutely open!) and I will answer it in Part 5 :)

Thank you for coming along on this ride! I hope some of my thoughts could help you and please, do let me know if my methods work for you - I’d love to know! :D 

Your life is in your hands,


So I just watched CMBYN

** SPOILERS (kinda) **

Call Me By Your Name is the kind of movie that makes you sit through the credits with tears rolling down your face, staring blankly at the screen with a lump in your throat and tightness in your chest. Not because it was sad or heartbreaking or outrageous, but because it triggered something inside of you, and you’re not really sure how to stop it. As if it pierced a hole through your being, but you can’t figure out how or where and you can’t seem to identify the source of the leak. 

So you leak. You overflow with emotions. You’re happy and you’re sad and you’re angry and you’re grateful and you’re unsure. And you just leak.

Call Me By Your Name is not a tragic movie. It’s not a sad movie. It’s not a pretentious movie. It’s a movie about love, and love, and love. A beautiful love that will leave you longing to find your own love and drown in it. That will make you want to run out in the streets, and scream at the top of your lungs in the middle of traffic, and try to look for love wherever you can find it. Call Me By Your Name is an intelligent, sexy, funny, quirky, relatable, deep, emotional, and heartbreaking masterpiece. It will make you feel, and it will make you laugh, and it will make you think, and it will make you cry.

Timothée Chalamet is an absolute force of nature. He is Elio and Elio is the heart and soul of the movie. Everybody is in love with Elio. He is the sweetest and smartest boy, and he oozes confidence but he doesn’t realize it. He is more than comfortable in his skin but he struggles to like himself the way he ought to like himself. And perhaps it’s what really brings him so close to Oliver. Both of them think little of themselves and the world of the other.

Elio is so affectionate and so passionate. He kisses and hugs and moves from one set of arms or legs to the next and he revels in it. He is beautiful, and smart, and talented, and awkward, and incredibly sexual, and sensual. Elio wants what he wants. Elio is not in the business of hiding what he truly craves. He tries for a little while but then he just goes straight for it. He’s not shy. He opens his mouth big and wide, craving it, asking for it, desperate for it. He licks Oliver’s lips and fingers, and he climbs him, and straddles him, and hugs him, and throws himself at him whenever he gets the chance. He just wants him any way he can have him, but he’s still nervous and real and coy and shy. Elio will make you want to love, and hurt, and piece yourself back together with absolutely no regrets whatsoever. Elio will make you want to live your life to the fullest. Elio will make you want to break your own damn heart. It’s so rare that a performance truly shows the depth of longing, and despair, and passion a character conveys through written words without the internal monologue. And Timothée Chalamet truly did Elio justice. He was Elio and Elio was him.

Elio and Oliver will make you want to find a lover the moment you leave the screening. They will make you crave that intimacy and level of trust. They will make you want to love, and hurt, and give in to your deepest and truest desires. Their bond is just so incredibly powerful without ever being overly sexualized, or vulgar, or cheap. Their bond is a bond of the heart, and the mind, and the soul, and the body. Not just the body. Armie Hammer is absolutely brilliant in the way he humanizes Oliver who is somewhat glorified through Elio’s lens in the first part of the book. In the movie, Oliver is endearing and human and sexy and caring. He cares for Elio, and his love for him is so tender and so touching. His face falls when Elio gets a nosebleed and it’s the most touching thing. He kisses his foot, and Elio touches his neck laughs, and they’re the most touching thing.

Watch this movie. Watch it, and love it, and don’t let it fall victim to overhype. Watch this movie. Fall in love in two hours and twelve minutes, then question every single time you didn’t allow yourself to feel just because you were afraid of getting hurt. Was avoiding a possible heartbreak that might have shattered you worth never getting a taste of the heavens? Was killing the potential pain and heartache worth it? Was it worth it?

Don’t kill it. Feel it. Bask in it. Bathe in it. Remember it. Cherish it. Let it keep you warm when you have nothing else and no one else to hold you at night. Don’t kill it. Let it kill you. Let it shatter you. Then let it fill you with love, and love, and love, and love, and love.

Everything is love.


You Get What You Give (Long Distance)

Requested: Yes

Summary: Where Harry’s just begun his solo career and performing is everything that he’s ever dreamed of; he can’t help but feel so alone sometimes though. Feeling as though everyone has someone, and he’s so out of the loop with his love life that it brings an imbalance. However, you can’t take everything and expect to give nothing in return or for everything to be ok for forever.

Word Count: 1,700

Pairing: Harry Styles x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Desperation, Reference to sex, Loneliness, Cursing

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BTS Reactions - You’re worried about not being a stereotypical wife

After weeks of holding it in, you finally break down. Your wedding is in two months and you’re terrified about becoming a wife. You just know that you won’t be a stereotypical - a perfect wife - for your fiancé, and it worries you so much. That’s why you’re locked in your bathroom, sobbing on the floor. When you hear a knock on the door against your back, you try to stifle your sounds, but it’s no good. He can hear you. Reluctantly, you stand up and open the door.

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Hermione didn’t like girls. She was straight. And in love with Ron. The red hair she saw in her dreams was most certainly his and not Ginny’s. The sick feeling she got in her stomach when she saw Ginny and Dean together was just everyday concern for her friend’s happiness.

All of this would have been perfectly fine…

…if a single part of it was true. But it wasn’t. And Hermione couldn’t stand lying to herself the way she did everyone else. So she accepted it as best she could and tried to move on. She was doing a wonderful job of it too–that is, until the Christmas Party invites went out. Between inciting dangerous thoughts about her closest female friend and forcing her to spend time with McLaggen, Slughorn’s social events would be the death of her.

Now, Hermione couldn’t stop fantasizing about the soft curve of Ginny’s waist in her hands as they danced–the way those glossy lips would curve into a mischievous smile just before darting in for a kiss. These fantasies also wouldn’t be a big deal. Except that Ron had just won them the Quidditch match ( with the help of Harry’s Felix Felicis, Hermione thought irritably) and she couldn’t care less, which did nothing to keep her cover.

Ron was currently snogging Lavender, so Hermione went out in search of Harry, hoping he would be a bit more conversational. She spotted him just as he ducked out of the portrait, following without a second thought.

The corridor was chilly at night, but there was a faint buzz of sound resonating from the Gryffindor common room. A few portraits were complaining about the noise, and a handful were missing their contents entirely. Hermione wondered if there was a special frame to serve as a refuge for dislodged portrait characters. There was nothing about one in Hogwarts, A History , but she’d learned over the years that the book was more of an overview. It would take a few thousand more pages to cover all the castle’s secrets.

Hermione shadowed Harry’s footsteps, rounding the corner just as they stopped. The spectacled Gryffindor sat on the steps, glassy-eyed and staring daggers at the wall. Hermione wrapped an arm around his shoulders in a tight embrace when she joined him.

“Harry, what’s wrong?”

“The Christmas Party is stupid.”

“That’s all you’re upset about?” Hermione let out a sigh of relief. “Harry, we’ve already talked about this. If you’d just ask whoever it is to go with you, I’m sure they’d happily oblige.”

“Hermione,” Harry sighed, “I know you’re trying to help, and I’m grateful, really, but it’s not working. So if you could just leave me alone for a while, that’d be great.”

Hermione didn’t take the hint. She just leaned her head on his shoulder and revelled in the idyllic moment. Only a few cheers here and there could be heard from the party down the hall, and pale moonlight streamed through the gothic windows.

“Whoever it is must be really special,” she said finally. It had to be Ginny, but part of her couldn’t admit out loud that she was in love with her best friend’s crush.

Harry swallowed, collecting his words. “They are.”

Hermione studied the stones of the wall for a long time before speaking. “Since neither of us can go with the people we want to go with, what if we went together? As friends?”

Harry looked at her in surprise. “That’s a great idea, Hermione. But Ron would totally go with you if you asked.”

Hermione looked at the ground, the truth threatening to burst out of her. Instead, she said, “Sure he would. As soon as he’s done snogging Lavender, I’m certain he’ll come after me.” A snort escaped her. “Honestly, she’s ghastly.”

Harry’s jaw clenched. “Tell me about it.”

Hermione didn’t understand his reaction, but her own emotions drew her attention away from the puzzle. Her heart raced in her chest as she added, “Anyways, I don’t want to go with Ron.” If asked, she knew she’d share her secret now. Her walls had already been broken down. There was no hiding anymore.

Harry glanced up in confusion. “But fourth year at the Yule Ball–”

“Harry, that was ages ago,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes. “I was naive and hadn’t accepted myself yet. You were into Cho, so Ron was just the only boy who was accessible.”

Harry fidgeted with his wand. “I wasn’t into Cho. I think–I think it’s a lot like you with Ron.”

“You kissed her,” Hermione reminded him.

Harry grinned. “I didn’t come back with the most resounding commentary, did I?”

Hermione laughed. “No, I suppose not.” Then, gathering her courage, she asked, “Is it all girls then? Or just Cho you didn’t like?”

Harry seemed surprised at the question. He opened his mouth as if to answer, but his response was a new question instead. “Hermione, who is it you want to take to the Christmas Party?”

Bile rose in her throat. “You first,” she whispered.

Harry took her hand in his, squeezing it tightly. “Both of us. On three.”

Hermione nodded, and trepidation built in her stomach.


She wondered if it would kill her to say the name out loud.


It probably would. Maybe it would be better that way.


“Ginny,” Hermione whispered at the same time Harry said, “Ron.”

They stared at each other, wide-eyed. Even the airborne dust particles seemed suspended in that moonlight for a few breathless seconds. And then the two Gryffindors burst into laughter.

“Sorry I didn’t see it earlier,” Hermione said after a while.

Harry snorted. “Not like I predicted your response either. I’ve spent months feeling guilty for liking Ron when I thought you did too.”

“I’ve felt the same about liking Ginny. Are you going to ask him?”

Harry considered. “I–I think so. I was terrified of losing both of you before, but keeping my feelings to myself now is just cowardice.”

“I think I’ll tell Ginny how I feel. She’s going to the Christmas Party with Dean, but maybe after all this nonsense is over.”

Harry nodded. “If Ron kills me when I ask him, you’re in charge of my funeral.”

Hermione grinned. “We are gathered here today to commemorate Harry Potter, a terrible dresser with hair like a disgruntled hedgehog. He had many flaws, but his true downfall was falling in love with the wrong Weasley.”

Harry cracked a grin. “See, this is why I put you in charge. I don’t want any of that sentimental rubbish. Tell it like it is.” He paused. “Is my hair really that bad?”

“Worse,” she laughed, knocking him to the side.

He pushed her right back before placing his arm around her shoulder. “I’m glad we’re in love with the wrong Weasley together.”

Hermione smiled, resting her head on his shoulder again. “Me too.”

They stayed like that, arms wrapped around each other, until the sounds of the party died down.


Hope ya liked it! Read the rest here :)

Kim Jongin

REQUEST: Who’s ur bias in exo? Also can I request a Kai scenario where you offer to give him a massage and you kinda tease him and it leads to you know what

Originally posted by jonginsbish

Comeback season, as stressful at it was for Jongin, was still one of your favorite times. You loved all the passion that came out of him and loved even more that all the emotions that came from it were brought back to you in the form of pleasure. 

It was another late night, Jongin like always tried his hardest to come home at an appropriate time but once again was texting you at six apologizing. You hated when he apologized to you, and he knew that. You supported him 110% so there was no need to apologize. 

‘So what putting left overs in containers is annoying. Have you see how beautiful my Tupperware set is? Thank you for letting me use it.’ You’d tell him making him laugh every time. 

He had come home around 10 absolutely exhausted and definitely sore from his day of dancing. You stood up and placed your book where you sat before walking into his open arms. He groaned as your arms wrapped around him. He kissed your forehead before letting you go to fall onto the couch.

‘Are you hungry?’ You asked making your way into the kitchen. 

‘No, we ate at the studio. Come over here.’ You looked over and smile as the only thing visible from where you stood was one arm raised above the back of the couch. 

You walked over and let him pull you onto his body, snuggling yourself up against his chest. 

‘Nope, no not happening get up please.’ He groaned tapping your butt slightly. You sat up and looked at him concerned. ‘My back is killing me.’ He said with sad eyes. You pressed you lips together and lent forward to kiss him gently, feeling so bad that he was in pain. 

You took his hand and pulled him up, ushering a soft ‘come on.’ to him as you lead him to your bedroom. Telling him to strip you kissed his cheek before going into the bathroom and grabby your favorite lotion. 

‘On the bed big boy.’ You said making him chuckle as you waved the bottle at him. 

Pulling his shirt up and over his head you straddled his body and pumped a few shots of lotion in your hands and rubbed them together before firmly running them down his back. He groaned at your touch and flinched slightly at the cold lotion before relaxing completely. You rubbed up and down his back, over his shoulders and around his neck. His groaning making you smile every time your hands pushed and needed at his tense muscles. 

His back was red by the time you stared to slowdown from all the rubbing. You sat up and told him to turn, wanting to kiss him and when he did you repositioned yourself on his lap. 

‘Im going to have you do that more often.’ He said running his hands up and down your thighs as he sat up. You put another pump of lotion in your hands and started to massage at his shoulders.

‘How about this?’ You asked innocently at first, but once he smirked in agreement you bit your lip. 

‘What about this?’ You whispered starting to rotate your hips against his lap. His eyes opened and he smiled smugly, moving his hands from your thighs up to your back slowly. 

‘Mhmm.’ He said  making you laugh and stop you grinding. You pumped another handful of lotion and continued to massage. He groaned again, this time in disappointment that you stopped, but still in pleasure of the magic your hands were working. 

Little did he know you weren’t just going to stop there though. After running your hands down his neck you lifted yourself to pretend to grab something from behind him, making sure the bare skin of your slightly exposed chest was just enough into his face that you could feel the deep breath he took when he noticed how close your chest was to his face. You sat back down with a roll of your hips, he groaned again. 

‘Are you okay?’ You asked with smug smile. 

‘You…’ He said taking in his bottom lip before smiling, catching your back so he could rock the two of you forward so you were now laying on the bed. ‘are a tease.’ 

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him with a smile still hitting the corners of your mouth. He deepened the kiss as he lowered his body to yours. He’s bare chest pressed to you and his clothed member started to rotated over you core making you take shallow breaths. You tried to hook a leg over his lower half to pull him even closer but he sat up, a smug look on his pink face. 

‘Being teased isn’t fun is it?’ He said.

‘You’re the worst person.’ You said sitting up just enough to pull his neck so his face met yours again. 

He pulled you back up onto his lap and tugged at your shirt then to revel himself to your skin. You started to grind again as he made work of your bra and after throwing your it on the floor his hands traced up your back to hold onto you closely as he kissed along your chest and back up your neck. He laid you down again and continued to grind, the jean against jean feeling driving you both crazy. 

You let your hands trace down his chest, the feeling of his muscles bulging and contracting with every roll of his hips was a feeling you were used to, but never got old. Your fingers met his belt and started to undo it while he continued to circle his hips. The moment you were unable to get the zipper undone he pulled away from you and started at your pants, which he undone and got off of your legs a lot easier than you had. He made quick work of completely undressing you until you were naked under him.

He came down to kiss you again, this time peppering kisses on your mouth before running them down your neck until his lips were laying kisses across your nipples. His tongue slipped between his lips sending a chill down your spine. The way you arched your back made him smile as he moved to the other one. He did that a few times to tease you once again, and every time he did a more intense chill was sent down your spine. You moaned slightly before taking his hair in your hands, squeezing once before he started to move down your body. Before he could meet your core you pulled his hair so he moved back up to your face.

‘I need you right now.’ You whispered. There was no denying your body responded instantly to Jongin’s touch and there had been more then enough teasing for tonight. He chucked and jumped off the bed to quickly strip his jeans. He pulled at your leg playfully, spinning you so you were now fully facing him so he could crawl over you. 

His kiss was heavy this time, needy almost as he kissed you up the bed. Knowing exactly how to make you moan he circled his member hands free around your core until he got the response he wanted. The moment the sweet noise left your lips he pushed into you slowly, stretching you around his member with a low grunt. He kept his lips to yours for the first few slow pumps he made, but the moment he knew you were fully adjusted to him he took your leg and lifted it over his shoulder as he reached deeper into your core. He started to pump, his hips rolling into you at a fast pace, hitting your g-spot every time he pulled out and pushed back in. 

Your hands gripped to his knees as your head fell back trying to push yourself onto him further, the need to have him as deep in you as possible overpowering your body. You tried to open your eyes to watch him, loving the look he got when the two of you were intimate but the feeling of him was starting to be too much for you to handle. He brought himself forward towards you, the stretching of your leg that was still over his shoulder creating a new sensation. You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer, the need for his lips now greater than anything just by how close they were. You groaned and let your leg slip off his shoulder as his body pressed down onto yours. The weight of his body on yours making you even wetter for him. 

He pumped into you as much as he could from that position but you needed him in a different way now. You pushed him up till he sat back on his still bent knees. You pushed your lips to his and pushed him, now so his back was resting against your head board. You straddled him, letting your self sink around his erect member and watching as he once again took his lip between his teeth. He pulled you down to kiss him as you started to rotate your hips, manipulating which walls he hit and when he hit them. You loved riding him, and loved that he let you so as your what was fluid movements turned into a quick bounce you pulled your mouth away from his. 

His hands gripped tightly to your butt causing a groan to come from the both of you. He rose you slightly so he could bend his knees and when he did you put a hand on either side of his head to brace yourself. He started pumping in and out of you as such a fast rate you breath was hard to find. First your head was tilted back, lip between your teeth and the need to hold onto your humanity desperate. But as the coil began to tighten in your stomach your head started to fall forward until it was pressed against his. Your moans got louder as the static started to build in your entire body.

‘Jon… gin, Oh my god!’ you gasped slowly as you tried to push yourself off of him, your orgasm already starting to unravel. But with strong hands he pushed you back down to pump even faster. Your back arched and your face hid in his shoulder as you unraveled, shaking slightly on top of him. He held your waist tighter as you pressed your chest to his and groaned one last time before he pulled out and came against his stomach. He put himself back in you and pumped slowly this time, trying to make sure every last ounce of pleasure was squeezed out of the both of you before fully coming out. You slipped to his side and hugged onto him, laughing at the pool of cum that still sat on his lower half. 

You took a minute to catch your breath before standing up to wipe him down. When you were done you tried to pull away to dress yourself but his hands caught yours. He pulled you back onto the bed making you smile, knowing that he loved sleeping naked. You kissed him softly before laying on your side and gratefully accepting his arm around your waist. 

‘I think I’m going to complain about my back more often.’ He said against your shoulder. 

‘That doesn’t bother me, complain all you want.’

hey!!! so i went to see thor ragnarok yesterday, and i thought i’d type up some Thoughts while it was still fresh in my mind. so here goes. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS but also i don’t want to do a cut because my blog theme is hard to read things on, so just shut your eyes and scroll down really fast i guess? i’ll send you a psychic message so you know when it’s safe to open them again

things i liked

  • the humour in this movie was on point. i mean, it’s waititi, so obviously it was going to be, but everyone just seemed like they were having a fucking blast doing it. it didn’t even feel like it was trying to be funny or quirky or slapsticky – it just put the characters in daft situations and let natural awkwardness do the rest
  • the giant monster made out of blue rocks who seems to have no idea what he’s doing and just wanders around exchanging pleasantries with everyone in a gentle new zealand accent. he tried to do a revolution once but it failed because he didn’t print out enough pamphlets. i don’t even know his name but he was legitimately the best part of this film and i want him on a poster
  • the “get help” plan, which, for the uninformed, consists of thor just fucking tossing his brother at oncoming enemies like a person-shaped rugby ball, and has apparently been performed enough times for loki to instinctively dread it happening
  • i hate doctor strange and benedict cumberbatch and the fact that he was included in this film for no reason other than to appease people, but i did enjoy his cameo (albeit very, very grudgingly). he’s just so done with thor’s nonsense and i felt it on a spiritual level. also when loki comes at him with a knife and strange just fucking teleports him off to norway like “bye”
  • “this one time when we were children, he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows i love snakes, so i went to pick up the snake to admire it, and he transformed back into himself and was like, “YAARGH, IT’S ME!!!” and he stabbed me. we were eight” fucking classic
  • the fact that it wasn’t entirely comedy-centred. sure, the main emphasis was on the ridiculousness of the whole thing, but there were definite emotional moments, and on the whole they were done well. (particularly the exchange between thor and loki in the elevator, and the part immediately afterwards with the attempted betrayal. you know the bit i mean)
  • in most marvel films you know that ultimately the villain will be defeated, and the planet will be saved, and everything will turn out okay, etc etc etc. here, that gets chucked out of the fucking window. literally anything can happen, and it does, even as you’re like “nah, no way, they’re not gonna go that far…oh. well. okay, then.” and that dispensing of the traditional formula made the whole thing feel a lot more unpredictable. which is good, i think!
  • valkyrie. everything about valkyrie. i have a massive weakness for butch women, and i have a massive weakness for lovable assholes, and when those two things combine it’s just like. hnghhh
  • also i was worried that she was going to be shoehorned into the “strong female character” stereotype, but that wasn’t the case at all? like she had moments of weakness and was really dorky and cute and she just felt like such a real person (aside from the whole “semi-immortal warrior woman on a flying horse” aspect, obviously)
  • on that point: there was no love story. this is entirely personal preference, but love stories in action films really annoy me (unless they’re done well, and they rarely are). plus, it feeds into the idea that the only reason to have a woman on the team is for the purpose of creating a romance with the main hero. but they didn’t do that! there was some light flirtation between thor and val, but it felt more friendly than anything else, and was very much in character for both of them. super refreshing, honestly
  • the trouble with marvel is that because nearly every movie has a different writer, character consistency is often lost. (see: natasha behaving completely differently in aou than she did in any other film, steve zigzagging between rigidly following the rules and going off to do his own thing, character development being gained and lost and gained again, etc.) that being said: thor and loki in this film felt more like thor and loki than in any other mcu flick. thor was maybe a bit dumber than i usually like, but the smiley optimism and earnestness was very much there, and loki cut a perfect balance between being An Asshole and being An Asshole With Feelings (whilst occasionally slipping back into his patented “melodramatic diva” persona). bruce wasn’t quite as much of a success, but i’ll get to that later
  • “i’m here.”
  • hela was unbelievably badass and every time she was on the screen i got a little bit gayer. i think it’s the antlers, personally

things i didn’t like

  • where was sif? there was no sif and it was just. never explained??? i’m starting to feel like marvel has this weird policy where they can only have a certain amount of women onscreen at a time, and if there’s any more than that an alarm goes off and everyone starts running around in a panic like “OH NO! THE WOMAN METER HAS GONE INTO THE RED! QUICK! CULL THEM! CULL THEM!” they’ve added in valkyrie and hela, and in order to maintain the status quo, they’ve skilfully sliced out jane foster and sif, like soviet-era teachers razoring out controversial passages from history books. if they didn’t show any of the warriros three then that would’ve been understandable, but fandral and volstagg and hogun were all (if briefly) in evidence. but sif is just. not. it’s fuckin bizarre man idek
  • kinda wish they’d done a bit more with hela’s character than just going “oh, she’s evil, and she likes to kill people and do evil stuff because she’s evil.” she already looks amazing, and is possibly the most powerful villain we’ve seen so far – so it would have been nice to have a little more emotional depth there, especially considering how interesting her backstory is
  • the plot was a little bitty in places. it did work, but there wasn’t much of a connection between thor performing as a gladiator and hela taking over asgard. if they’d found a way to link those two plotlines together it might have worked better, but as it was, the whole thing felt a lil bit contrived
  • we’ve always suspected that asgard isn’t quite what it seems to be (after all, no one ends up ruler of the nine realms without a little blood being spilt along the way), and in this film that gets confirmed – but after the initial revelation it’s just not really explored? there are some pretty heavy overtones of genocide and colonialism/imperialism, and it seemed kind of mad to bring up something like that and then just gloss over it. plus, it ignores the fact that in the avengers loki was pretty much doing exactly what odin did himself several thousands years ago, but on a slightly smaller scale. like…there’s a wealth of stuff to be done with that information, and they didn’t do any of it? weird
  • i was sort of hoping that odin would play a larger role in the movie, considering that so much of it indirectly revolved around him and his actions. instead, he turned into obi wan kenobi and then vanished in a big puff of gold dust. i don’t think that he actually exchanged more than a few lines with anyone, although given the relatively short length of the film that’s understandable enough
  • bruce got flanderised from a hyper-controlled scientist with self-loathing issues into a twitchy ball of nerves who’s constantly out of his depth. he’s not my favourite character, so it didn’t bother me too much, but it was still a little jarring
  • they didn’t show us the hug at the end and i’m pissed about it
Seven Things About Supernatural: 13x03 - “Patience”

So let me just acknowledge that as a human, my week has been kind of hard, and I’m not 100% sure how objective I can be this week.

In any case…

  1. Let’s rip the Band-Aid off and open with how I do not love Missouri’s death.  Yes, we all knew it was coming the minute the casting news came back.  Yes, it works within the text to advance the plot and give Patience now has an origin story that forces her to confront truths about herself and her family. 

    But fuck, I do not love how the “bring back beloved character just to kill them” thing has become reflexive for the show, and of all the writers, I hoped Bobo would subvert it.  Damn it.

    I get to some extent why the episode went there.  As written, saving Missouri would have left the wraith without motive to go to Georgia at all, but let’s be real: that fatality is still a choice.  We know from The Monologue™ later that a wraith doesn’t have to kill a meal, and non-fatal snack would have clued him in just as well.

    Honestly, the only real thing that this death accomplishes that couldn’t be accomplished any other way was to isolate Patience in the sense that Jody is her only viable ally as she comes to terms with the way her father has been gaslighting her for years about her powers and keeping Missouri at arm’s length. 

    Even then, I’m not sure I’m ready to say that sacrificing Missouri is worth it.  Yeah, people die on Supernatural, but I don’t like it.
  2. I do want to talk about Missouri, though, because even though her exit pissed me off, I loved seeing her again, and there is a lot of tantalizing character stuff that gets dropped in this ep that I would have loved to see expanded upon.

    Missouri wasn’t just a psychic.  She was, at times, a hunter as well.  That’s new and interesting and I wonder how it worked, given that her physical presence doesn’t jive with what we usually see in hunters.  How long has she been out of the life?  Since S1?  Longer?  

    I’m also curious about Missouri as a mother.  I get the sense that James’ upbringing was less nomadic, and that Missouri didn’t raise him the way Sam and Dean were raised.  He’s visibly useless in a fight.  At the same time, it’s clear he least grew up alongside the life, and knows a few things.

    (James is, in a lot of ways, what Sam might have been if things had gone just a little differently.) 

    She knows, too, when she sends Dean and Jody to Georgia what’s going to happen.  She’s gamed the whole thing out, and chosen the solution with the best possibility of overall success.  It means sacrificing herself for her family – other echoes of Winchester family dynamics – and she faces it without fear or apology. 

    Which, while I don’t like the thing itself, is something I recognize as being pretty fucking badass within the text.

    The show retcons her a little, too, in the sense that she’s a little less Tangina Barrons this time around.  She’s using psychometry as a specific skill, and associated with magic that reads to me as being less coded with African disaporic practices.

    We still don’t know why her son’s surname is Turner, nor how she ended up in Omaha.  Maybe we’ll get more of that (and more of her) as Wayward approaches?
  3. With all of the “good girl” and sniffing and hair-pulling, and even that shot of a wraith spike being driven into Dede’s neck, they sure are doubling down on all the rape imagery in this ep, aren’t they?

    This does earn some side-eye from me – like, can we not with this trope, say, ever? – but I guess we can acknowledge how it correlates Patience’s first big encounter with the supernatural to Alex’s experiences in 11x19 in particular (i.e. the boyfriend turning out to be a vamp who acts out some things that are consistent with real life abuse), but also her exploitation as a blood slave/bait with her original abductors.  

    Yeah, a literally nameless monster with no obvious redeeming traits saves us some emotional bandwidth for everything else, but ugh.  Gross.
  4. Speaking of Patience, I think I’m going to like her a lot.  She’s got this balance of self-assured talent and total blank slate in terms of what her life really is now.  Her relationship with her father – which has clearly been so central to her life – has been irrevocably changed by the revelation that he isolated her from Missouri, and that he’s kept her in the dark about a big part of herself.  Her life trajectory – which was up until now looking like valedictorian, elite school, etc. – is no longer as clear as it was. 

    There’s a lot the writers can do with that.  Admittedly there are a lot of wrong turns they can take, too, but i’m interested.

    Also, look at that red hoodie of family.  Such red.  Very hoodie.
  5. So remember when last week I was like, “Dean’s angry honesty is awful, but at least it’s better than lies and omission?”  

    That sure paid off quick.

    So here’s the thing about Sam Winchester: he’s complicated, and he’s a little bit of a cipher, and he’s both of those things because he absolutely hides things and lies when he thinks he needs to, or when doing that will help him get to what he thinks is a greater good.

    The problem here, obviously, is that while his intentions are usually good, or at least aimed at minimizing conflict, it’ means he tends to do things that (justifiably or not) read as manipulative to the people affected by them (usually Dean).  

    So here he is with Jack – and I do think he genuinely wants to connect with Jack, and that Sam has real sympathy with them having some shared experiences being a “freak” – but there’s still an undercurrent of this being a partnership that will possibly net him a benefit, too. 

    He’s made no secret of this with Dean, justifying them keeping him around to try and open the rift again so they can find Mary, but he hasn’t been upfront with Jack about this really.  He’s trying to play both sides, be the “right” Sam for each of them, and get what he wants from both Dean and Jack, and their dual confrontation at the end of the episode puts a lot of that out on the table.  

    Sam is justifiably angry at Dean for the extent to which he’s hurt Jack, but Dean calls Sam out for what Dean reads as manipulation and dishonesty, trying to couch his position in compassion when it’s actually selfish.  

    And both of them have valid points.  Dean is visibly uncomfortable when his behavior toward Jack is called out – because, yeah, it was like that, Dean – but Sam has failed to be honest to Jack, and that lie is potentially going to destabilize the trust between Sam and Jack.  
  6. Dean’s grieving process is maybe the most intense we’ve seen from him since S2.  He’s completely stone-faced in his room, in total contrast with the song he’s listening to.  He is at least sticking to beer at the moment, but whether that’s because the show has given us Significant Beers or because he feels like he needs to be ready to fight with Jack in the bunker is up in the air. 

    When Sam puts Jody on the case Missouri calls them about, Dean’s first reaction is that Jody will get killed because they’re focused on Jack.  Because, hey, that’s still raw, and he’s not going to let it go.  

    He doesn’t like leaving Missouri behind either, and hey, his instincts are spot on.  (We didn’t like it either, Dean.)

    Of the two, he’s also the brother more likely to be brusque and up-front, but he’s especially not sugarcoating anything, either to James or to Sam.  That confrontation at the end of the ep is an explosion of emotion that he’s been keeping capped, processing on his own, but hell, if Sam’s going to push?  He might as well just do what needs doing.

    And hey, if we needed an ep to remind us that Dean does better emotionally when he has solvable problems and something in front of him, here you are. 
  7. OH JACK.  Our nougat’s wrestling mightily with his nature this episode, and he really doesn’t have a single safe place to turn.  Sam is sympathetic but pressures him.  Dean is hostile.  Kelly loved him, and believed in him, but his birth killed her.  Asmodeus is clearly the enemy.  

    Like, no wonder this kid doesn’t leave his room.  

    And it’s great, you know, that when it’s evident that there’s nobody who can help him, he reaches out to the one person who was supposed to have his back, that his mom trusted, and that seems to be the key to making his angry uncles stop fighting: Castiel.  

Bonus Thing: “You have an angel watching over you” is not the most comforting series of words on this series, Kelly.  Just saying. 

Bonus Thing #2: Ronson is a delight.  Can we keep her?

Bonus Thing #3: So hey, that book Sam is reading?  The Drama of the Gifted Child?  That’s not a book about academically gifted kids.  It’s a book for/about those who “survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb.”  

Bonus Thing #4: So after last week’s incident with the Shedim, and this week’s Biggerson’s billboard in the background announcing the return of the Turducken Slammer, I can’t decide if I have amorphous concerns about things repeating, or that this is a sign that the theme is that our characters are in familiar territory and making new choices. 

Bonus Thing #5: This is me, still laughing about Kim Rhodes’ tweet about Jody’s “death” in Patience’s premonition: 

[transcription: “It just occurred to me… maybe the whole #wayward thing was just a complicated ruse so I would agree to film…  nah.  Prolly not.”]

This woman is a fucking gift.

Some little Tina Goldstein things in FBAWTFT

I know I already made a post (and then some) about why I love Tina (x) but I wanted to make another one now that I’ve seen the film nine times.

  • The fact her full first name is “Porpentina” is reason alone to love her
  • I know a lot of people say this, but…she’s eating a hot-dog whilst spying on people, like, she’s so adorable!
  • She’s interrupted TWICE whilst trying to eat her hot-dog, like let her eat in peace!
  • Tina basically walked around with mustard on her upper lip for the entire bank sequence
  • “Why in the name of Deliverance Dane did you let that thing loose?”/“Mercy Lewis, what is that?!” - she says such adorable things though??
  • She wears a silver tracking/identity bracelet from MACUSA so that they can keep an eye on her (it’s in several FBAWTFT Making Of books, and you can see it in several scenes)
  • Tina hiding under her desk when Abernathy comes looking for her
  • That bit where she jumps/hops on the spot to try and find Newt in the crowd
  • Tina hurriedly grabbing her undergarments/slips from the clothes-horse by the fire so that the men don’t see them (someone else pointed this out as well)
  • When Queenie is prepping dinner and they talk, she dips her finger in one of the pots and proceeds to lick/try whatever it was - like I think that’s really cute?
  • She makes these two men - who she barely knows - hot cocoa and then proceeds to awkwardly stand in the doorway with the mugs as she says “I…uh…thought you might like a hot drink…?”
  • I still think it’s funny how forcefully she puts Newt’s mug down on the table, like she’s so pissed off.
  • She wears her pyjama top under her jacket whilst tracking down Newt and Jacob, then proceeds to walk into a big meeting still in her pyjama shirt
  • Tina sobbing when she and Newt were sentenced to death, like, SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS (neither did Newt, but still)
  • In the death potion we see her gently comforting Credence, hesitantly touching his arm and telling him it will be okay.
  • “What is that thing?” “Swooping Evil.” “Well I love it!” (OTP right there!)
  • Tina looking like she’s about to cry when she’s telling Newt about how Mary Lou Barebone abuses Credence and the other children in her care - I think that’s the moment Newt looks at her and thinks “I understand exactly, this is how I feel about my creatures”. He would totally break laws and stop people who hurt magical creatures (or any creatures, for that matter)
  • Tina smiling in awe when she sees Dougal feeding the Occamy a sweet is honestly so beautiful.
  • Her bad-ass jumping skills during the Occamy scene - enough said
  • Her looking around in awe when she’s first in the case honestly makes me emotional because she’s having a revelation - and because this is her future when she marries Newt. Seeing her look at the creatures in tender wonderment is so touching.
  • Before she found out Grindelwald was disguised as Graves, she duelled him - first of all, she probably thought she was duelling her mentor, her boss, someone who she once looked up to; secondly, the two of them were locked in a stalemate before he threw a car at her
  • Let that sink in - Tina Goldstein held her own against Gellert Grindelwald, one of the most dangerous and proficient wizards/duellists of the time. She held her own against him until he levitated a car to hit her - she did better than the rest of the Auror team put together.
  • Tina doing a tuck-and-roll under a semi-cast Protego shield like a boss
  • “Keep talking, Tina. Keep talking, he’s listening to you!” (Newt about Credence)
  • Tina looking heartbroken when Credence is “killed”, like she feels like she failed to protect him
  • Newt and Tina were both crying as Jacob and Queenie said goodbye - Tina’s heart was definitely breaking for her little sister
  • Tina looks so sad when she asks about Leta - she probably thinks Leta is Newt’s girlfriend/fiancée/wife back home.
  • The hope in her eyes when Newt says “I don’t know what Leta likes these days” and, "People change…I’ve changed" is so beautiful.
  • She’s trying not to cry - and failing at that - as Newt leaves.
  • Her teary smile when he says “how would you feel if I gave you your copy in person?”
  • Her little gleeful skip as she leaves the docs after saying goodbye to Newt is adorable :3
Not Women Enough

Spencer x reader based off the line “don’t profile me/stop profiling me”. Angsty? :) -Anon

AN: Sorry it took me so long to write this. I am currently going through finals so some of the request i received will be a little late, but don’t fret my potatoes, I only have two weeks left of school and i am all yours. But my dear Anon that requested this prompt, I hope you like it.

Pairing: Reid x Reader

Word Count: 1400

Keep reading

Lost Pieces

Ten x Reader

Request: Anon: Hey, I was wondering if you could do a 10th doctor imagine with prompts 4, 13 and 14 with angst and a happy ending?

Here you are anon! So, so, so, SO sorry this is so late. I just finished the quarter so I’m doing some heavy catch up. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for your patience, it is more than much appreciated! Xoxo

Title:Lost Pieces

Word Count: 2,551

You walked at your usual brisk pace as the sun’s rays tickled your exposed skin on your face, arms, and legs. The smell of fresh cut grass dancing through the air as it hit your nostrils, and the familiar sound of some kids riding past on their bikes. It felt good to be outside and walking down the familiar streets of your hometown, smiling to those who gave you a wave or greeted you. You had almost let summer pass you by without even thinking about going outside, and you found yourself genuinely enjoying yourself.

You had been going through a rough patch to say the least. Ever since the Doctor and you had parted ways earlier that year, you had been struggling to maintain a regular routine. Your family who only consisted of your younger sister lived an ocean away and didn’t really know the extent of how or why you were such a hermit, and your friend group believed you when you told them you were just really into your work. In all actuality you had been hurt so deeply, it was debilitating. You wondered if that was how all break ups and endings were for other people, but you couldn’t fathom that the “normal” times it happens that it involved an alien who took you on amazing adventures through time and space. No. You needed the time you did to feel better, and now you were finally able to start moving on.

Keep reading

hoarder-of-stories  asked:

“I had figured out the perfect way for the protag to defeat the Big Bad using True Names and silent casting” OOH tell us, please! (You don’t have to reply to this if you don’t want to, I’m just really curious now!)

Okay, but just warning people about potential spoilers - I don’t think I’m going to reveal anything major, but y’know, just in case. There’s also the fact that I haven’t read these books since I was a teen, and I may misremember some details.

Consider yourself warned.

Okay, so pretty early on, Eragon learns about True Names. Mainly he learns that a person’s True Name relates to their inmost being and is the revelation of Who They Really Are. Furthermore, if you know someone’s True Name, you can make them do whatever you want. Literally.

At some point Eragon runs into a Massive Jerk from his past, and while sitting by the fireside contemplating said Massive Jerk, he somehow…figures out his True Name. Like, he literally just thinks, “Hmmm, what three words in the Secret Magic Language best describe Massive Jerk?” and then once he thinks of them, Massive Jerk starts acting uncomfortable. So he tells Massive Jerk to go to the Elves’ magic forest and Massive Jerk get up and walks until his feet are bleeding and he’s half naked and he almost dies of exhaustion.

(This is not the most messed up thing Eragon accidentally does, btw. He has a tendency to ruin people’s lives without meaning to.)

Anyway, later on, the Super Judgmental Hippie Mentor teaches Eragon how to properly use his magical abilities because Eragon is a total N00b. Along the way, SJHM instructs Eragon in the art of silent casting. See, all of the magicians Eragon had met until this point (except for one jerk elf - a lot of the elves were jerks, actually) had always cast by speaking out loud. It turns out that you can cast by just thinking the words in your head, but it’s a lot more dangerous. I don’t know why more people don’t know about this, but whatever. Silent casting is officially a Thing.

So we have True Names and silent casting. Now to the major obstacle of the books.

At one point, Eragon asks someone (I can’t remember who, but let’s just say it was SJHM) why they can’t just learn the Big Bad’s True Name and use it. It turns out that Big Bad thought of that and cast a protective spell. If anyone speaks his True Name, they will die.

Now, this is where I saw a solution. Take a moment to see if you spot it.


The instant-death spell is triggered if someone speaks Big Bad’s True Name.

Eragon knows how to silent cast.

It has also been established that he, on virtue of being the protagonist, has a talent for figuring out people’s True Names. He also knows more of the Secret Magic Language than most people, because protagonist.


Eragon and the Big Bad face off. They battle, not just with dragons and weapons and magic, but with their wits. Eragon scrutinizes his enemy. It’s difficult, but due to the insight others have given him and his own abilities, he unlocks the secret’s of the Big Bad’s soul and learns his True Name. He then uses silent casting to force the Big Bad to…anything. Fly into a volcano. Spend the rest of his life running in circles. Or, for a poignant ending, force him to seek redemption or something.

What really draws me to this ending, beyond the fact that I felt very clever when I came up with it, is the theme/metaphor. In this, the key to the Big Bad’s defeat lies in his soul. Eragon would win, not just because he was stronger in some way, but because he was good at understanding people. For all the series’ faults, Paolini did a good job presenting Eragon as a compassionate person. He makes some major mistakes and hurts a lot of people, but it’s pretty much always because he was trying to help. He tries to be culturally sensitive. He shows a lot of mercy to his enemies, so I could see him bestowing a redemptive fate upon the Big Bad. Eragon would win the battle due to compassion and emotional intelligence, and that’s not a solution you often see.

Even if silent casting isn’t a loophole, I would still prefer an ending where Eragon uses the True Name. Once again, he would win due to his empathy and insight, and sacrificing himself to save the world would be a powerful end to his journey.

adult!Sirius Black Imagine - Nah, She Didn’t

“Hello love I was wondering if you could make and imagine where the reader is sirius gf and when Harry says “but she hated him!” Talking abaut James and Lili the reader is like nah she didn’t and they start talking about James and Lili.” -Anon

I’m not sure how much of a Sirius Imagine this is because it’s so conversational, but that’s how I’m going to classify it. This is one of my favorite scenes from the book so I really tried to do this prompt justice. I’ve also been really liking the flashback format I’ve done before so I worked that in too. I’ve proofread a ton so please ignore any errors! Also, I’m not feeling super inspired by the requests that I have right now, but I’m going to try to get something new out for you guys in the next week. Anyway, please enjoy this one for now!

Word Count: 2108

Sirius and (y/n) sat across from each other quietly eating in the dimly lit kitchen of Grimmauld Place. They hadn’t spoken since they had begun their meal, but they rarely found silence uncomfortable. This had been especially true since Sirius’ return to Grimmauld Place. The pair often spent their time together in a comfortable silence, just reveling in their ability to be together after so many years.

However, (y/n) could still see how much it affected him to be staying there alone. (Y/n) would have preferred to stay with Sirius full time, but she was taking orders directly from Dumbledore and was often on a mission for the Order. Normally, she would have discussed her mission with him, but Sirius seemed to be spiraling downward and she didn’t want to discuss missions he couldn’t take part in. Sirius’ depression was only amplified by his concern for Harry during his occlumency lessons with Snape.

“I could probably stay tonight,” (y/n) said quietly, setting her fork down, “if you’d like.”

“Of course,” Sirius breathed, a glimmer of relief in his eyes.

(Y/n) offered a small smile, then stood to collect their plates for washing.


At the same time as (y/n) and Sirius were eating, Harry was barreling toward Umbridge’s office. He had just finished what should have been another occlumency lesson with Snape, but instead had plunged into Snape’s worst memories. He kept replaying his mother’s angry words in his head, and without really thinking it through, headed for Umbridge’s office so that he could talk to Sirius.

How could she have married him- she absolutely hated him! Harry’s mind raced and he snuck into Umbridge’s office and knelt in front of the fire. His hands shook violently as he reached for the little container of floo powder resting near the fireplace. Sitting back for a moment, he took a deep breath before clearly saying 12 Grimmauld Place, throwing in the floo powder, and thrusting his head into the green flames.


“Sirius!” Harry half-yelled up to where Sirius was seated at the table.

“Harry!” Sirius exclaimed, immediately running to fireplace in the kitchen and dropping to his knees. “Harry what are you doing? Where are you? Do you know how dangerous this could be?”

“I’m- I’m in Umbridge’s office, but she- she shouldn’t be back for a while,” Harry paused, still catching his breath from his run there. “I just… needed to talk to you.”

(Y/n), who had abandoned the dishes and joined Sirius in front of the fire, interjected before Sirius could, “Harry this is still and awfully big risk, you could-”

“It’s about my parents,” Harry said, exasperated. “I just- it’s just that-” Harry hmphed, obviously becoming flustered. “I was just with Snape and I saw- it was one of his memories-”

“Harry, slow down, what happened?” Sirius said in a soothing voice.

“How could she marry him, she hated him!” Harry nearly yelled, his face contorting with a whirlwind of emotion.

“Nah, she didn’t,” Sirius smirked.

“But my dad- he was- he was being an absolute git-

“Harry,” (y/) cut him off calmly, “Harry, take a deep breath. What did you see?”

Harry paused, collecting himself while (y/n) and Sirius looked at him sympathetically. “He was sitting by the lake, and then he and Snape were arguing, and my mom stepped in but-”

“They used to do that a lot, didn’t they,” Sirius said, chuckling slightly. Harry looked at them dumbfounded as the pair smiled together. “Did he have that snitch with him?” Sirius asked eagerly.

“What? Yeah- yeah and he kept messing up his hair.”

Sirius and (y/n) looked at each other fondly, lost in their memories of James. “Merlin, he used to always have a hand stuck in his hair,” (y/n) said.

“Especially after the time I used a sticking charm,” Sirius laughed, shifting to sit fully on the ground. (Y/n) joined him, still laughing, but tried to stifle it when she saw the confused look on Harry’s face.

“Harry, that was- it was a different time for them. Lily never hated James, they just… pushed each other’s buttons from time to time.”

“So… what? They were friends?” Harry asked, slumping back a bit in relief.

“Not exactly friends until sixth year, then you could hardly ever find them apart,” Sirius said, diving into a story about the two.


Lily and James say next to each other in a pair of cushioned chairs in the Gryffindor common room. On the small table in front of them there were a number of books and papers spread in front of them. However, neither had touched the papers for at least an hour, they were too deep in their conversation about the charms theories they were supposed to be writing about.

“What’s it matter what color the birds are?” James asked, smiling fondly at Lily.

“James Potter, I am offended,” Lily gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. “Why on earth would I conjure blue birds when they could be yellow?” Lily asked, he face cracking into a matching grin. “Seriously though, what if the color of the bird has to do with the person casting the spell?”

“I think you’ve gone a bit mad,” James laughed.


“Just an observation, Evans,” James reached for his essay, “now as enlightening as this conversation has been, I think we ought to finish these.”

“Who would have thought- you actually care about your school work,” Lily laughed.

“Yeah, well, when if you’re in good company it’s not so bad.”


“There was hardly a silent moment between the two,” (y/n) interrupted Sirius’ story, “they could have talked to each other for hours and never gotten tired of it.”

“They did talk to each other for hours,” Sirius said.

Harry couldn’t seem to shake the smile off his face, though he tried to remain quiet, happy to just listen to Sirius and (y/n) talk. It was the most he’d heard of how his parents were together and he didn’t want to risk ruining the moment.

“In the beginning of our seventh year they started dating,” (y/n) looked back at Harry, “I think everyone at Hogwarts had their bets on when it would happen-”

“And I won most of them,” Sirius said, a triumphant look on his face.

“Oh hush,” she said, rolling her eyes at him, “anyway, they were a natural pair, balanced each other out perfectly. They only ever wanted to make each other happy.” (Y/n)’s voice had dropped down to a near whisper, her throat tightening as memories pushed to the surface of her mind.

Sirius, noticing (y/n)’s change in demeanor, launched himself into another story of James and Lily during their seventh year.


Lily sat down across from James at a small table in the Gryffindor common room. When he didn’t look up, she hmphed. Still, James remained focused on the essay he was writing.

“Okay,” Lily said, finally getting James to glance up at her. The pair stared at each other for a moment, though Lily was making a valiant attempt at keeping her emotions from spilling onto her face.

“‘Okay’, what?” James finally asked, his eyes still searching Lily’s face.

“Okay, you can be my date to Slughorn’s party,” she said, rolling her eyes at James, whose face immediately broke into a toothy grin.

“It’s only right,” James said, beaming at Lily, “I am your boyfriend after all.”

“I just- I just didn’t think you would enjoy it, but then you kept going on and on and on and-”

“We get the point Evans,” Sirius chimed in lazily from in front of the fire, where he was seated with (y/n), eavesdropping on their conversation.

Ignoring the nosy couple, James offered Lily a soft smile. “Of course I’m not going to enjoy the party, I just wanted to spend more time with you.”


“That was probably about the time (y/n) and I started to make retching sounds,” Sirius laughed.

“They were just so in love, it was hard not to tease them about it,” (y/n) said, laughing along with Sirius. They had almost seemed to forget Harry was there and were staring at each other with distant looks on their faces as if they were still just teenagers teasing their best friends.

Harry, who had managed to keep quiet and let them reminisce, couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped him. Sirius’ reverie was broken, and he looked back down at where Harry’s face protruded out of the fire. The wistful look on his face remained, but something had shifted and (y/n) reached her hand out to rest on his.

“I wish we still had all of the pictures from their wedding,” (y/n) said softly, “it was so beautiful.”

“I only have one,” Harry said, “Ha- Hagrid gave it to me in an album.” When Sirius and (y/n) only smiled at him, he continued a bit sheepishly, “you’re actually both in it, but I never realized until…”

“I don’t think I would have noticed us either,” Sirius said, poorly stifling another laugh, Harry suddenly realized this was most he had ever seen Sirius smile, let alone laugh since they had met.

(Y/n) elbowed him slightly, leaving her arm resting against his. Harry could see the excitement in her eyes when she asked, “James is waving isn’t he? I remember that one, I always wondered what had happened to it.” She paused, swallowing thickly before adding, “I’m glad you have it.”


“Well done, Prongs,” Sirius grinned broadly, clapping James on the back. The ceremony had just finished and James, Lily, and the wedding party were being shuffled away for pictures to be taken.

James grinned back, positively beaming, one of his arms wrapped tightly around Lily’s waist. “Thanks, mate. I can’t believe this is finally happening, feels like we’ve been waiting an eternity.”

Lily, still tucked into James’ side, hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him since they had said their I do’s. “And then some,” she added, “but it was perfect.”

“It was beautiful, Lily. One for the books,” (y/n) said, coming up to stand beside Lily.

James and Sirius drifted to a new conversation, something about how much Sirius was dying to some real celebrating. (Y/n) chuckled at them, “we picked a couple of winners, you know.”

Lily smiled, taking her bouquet back from (y/n), “yeah, we did.”

“Alright you four,” the photographer called to the group, “together for a picture now!”

The four pushed together, smiles plastered on their faces. James raised his hand in a wave right before the picture was taken, saying “quick Lils, wave to our future kids!” causing the other three to break into fits of giggles.


When Sirius finished his story this time they weren’t laughing. Sirius’ stared at the floor, he could still hear James’ laugh ringing in his ears and was fighting the tears that had jumped to his eyes. (Y/n) took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently.

“Your parents loved each other more than any two people I’ve ever met,” (y/n) said quietly. She looked up at Harry, eyes boring into him. “Harry, please don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

“I won’t,” he said, barely above a whisper. After another moment of silence, Sirius looked back up, the tears gone from his eyes. “Thank you- thank you both for this.” Harry said, searching Sirius’ face for some sign of what he was feeling.

“Of course, Harry,” Sirius said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We’re always here for you, whatever you need. It’s the least that I can do for you and your parents.”

“You should probably go, Harry, before Umbridge comes back,” (y/n) interjected.

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right.”

“Keep in touch,” (y/n) said.

“And stay safe,” Sirius added, trying to offer Harry a smile.

Harry smiled back before pulling his head out of the fire.

Sirius and (y/n) slumped back, leaning on the bench behind them. (Y/n) closed her eyes, resting her head on Sirius’ chest. “I miss them,” she whispered.

“Me too.”


Harry immediately left Umbridge’s office for fear of being caught, closing the door quietly behind him. He walked slowly through the corridors, keeping an eye on the map to ensure that he would be left alone.

Eventually, Harry made it back to Gryffindor tower and up to his dormitory. He dug through his trunk, finally emerging with the photo album Hagrid had gifted him. Harry sat on his bed, drawing the curtains around him and flipped to the picture of his parents on their wedding day. The words quick Lils, wave to our future kids! echoed through Harry’s mind as he wished more than ever that his parents were there by his side.


The Shape of Us - Part V

It’s a cold, dreary night when Leonard McCoy takes in a scrawny, pathetic looking stray dog.

He doesn’t expect to get attached to the mutt but he supposes such things happen and he doesn’t mind the company during lonely nights on the couch.

Except one morning he wakes up to the revelation that his dog is… not just a dog.

masterlist (x)

Jim stays.

He sleeps in Jo’s room, in her big-girl bed and wanders around the house in his human form.

Leonard finds him reading on the couch, cooking dinner and playing videogames. He does groceries, cleans the house and meets friends.

It’s this weird arrangement where he comes home some days after work and feels very much like he’s got a maid – not a husband, there’d have to be an actual relationship for that after all.

It’s awkward, especially after having lived by himself for a while now and then there’s this one question that, despite having gotten answers to most others, is still bothering Leonard.

Finally, he brings it up during an evening on the couch with Jim reading a book and Leonard skipping through TV channels.

“When I found out you were a shapeshifter you were hugging me in my sleep.” Leonard lowers the remote to his lap with a small frown and he turns to look at Jim. “Naked.”

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Kismet: Chapter Two

Thanks for the lovely comments, enjoy chapter two!

Title: Kismet

Pairings: Karamel Sanvers

Chapters : 2/5

Previous Chapter: 1

Next ChapterL 3

Chapter Two

Mon-El opened his eyes for the first time in two months to find himself lying on a metal bed in some kind in a cold, clinical looking room. His last memories of sitting in the pod, clutching the necklace that Kara had given to him, that had belonged to her mother, came flashing through his brain and caused him to jolt upright in the bed. He panicked and felt his neck, instantly calming down when he realised that the necklace was still there. It was the only thing he had left of Kara and he wasn’t about to lose it without a fight.

“Okay…where the hell am I?” he questioned even though there was nobody in the room to answer him. As though sensing that he was awake, the door to the room opened and a green skinned, blonde haired humanoid entered the room, dressed in a shade of purple that clashed with his skin but Mon-El wasn’t about to comment on the alien’s fashion sense in case it was hostile. For all he knew bad people had found his ship and captured him.

“Hello Mon-El of Daxam”, the green man greeted, immediately putting the Daxamite on the defensive and wondering how the hell it knew his name. “Welcome to Earth, the 31st century”.

Mon-El stared at him, stunned. “What?!”

“This must be awfully confusing for you, no doubt. I will answer all questions that you might have”.

“Okay…but first who are you and how do you know my name? What do you mean it’s the 31st Century? That’s not possible”.

“My name is Brainiac 5 and I am an android from the planet Colu. I know of you, Mon-El because of your place in Earth’s history along with Supergirl. Your ship fell into a wormhole that took you to a thousand years into the future”, the alien answered calmly and in a monotone as though all of this was perfectly normal. Mon-El gaped incredulously at the android before leaping out of the bed that someone had laid him out on while he was unconscious.

“Okay, I can’t be here. I need to get back to my own time. And if I’m on Earth then I’m going to be dead at any moment”.

“Do not worry about your lead allergy, Mon-El. The atmosphere was cleared hundreds of years ago and even if it wasn’t, Alex Danvers created a serum that would provide a Daxamite with immunity to lead”.

Mon-El froze, surprised by this revelation. “She did?! But how? And why would she bother when they all thought it was impossible for me to return?”

“Hope, I presume”, Brainaic-5 responded. “And in case that any other Daxamite should need it”.

“I hope not. The rest of my people were not so good”, Mon-El frowned.

“So you say. Are you hungry or thirsty for any refreshments, Mon-El? I can send for something if you like”.

“No, I just want to get out of here. If what you say is true then I need to get back to my own time, to Kara”.

“I’m afraid that is currently impossible. The wormhole has closed. However we are working on a way to send you back but it will take time. In the meantime, our team are interested in offering you a place with us”.

“Your team? What team?!”

“The Legion of course”.

Back in the 21st Century

“Kara, you look beautiful. Now stop complaining and help me get into my dress”, Alex ordered. It had been six weeks since Kara’s unexpected pregnancy reveal and today was the day that Alex Danvers was going to marry the love of her life.

They had eventually found a dress that would both flatter and accommodate Kara’s changing figure but today she was feeling extremely self-conscious especially since she was at the awkward stage of her pregnancy where she looked like she had overindulged. However, Alex didn’t care about her sister’s issues. She needed help to get into her dress or risk being late to her own wedding.

Seeing the look on her sister’s face, Kara quickly dropped her own issues and at super speed, zipped and fastened her sister into her long white gown. “You look gorgeous, Alex. Maggie’s going to be left speechless”. Alex’s eyes filled with emotion as a large, dazzling smile stretched at her lips.

“I’m so happy, Kara, I didn’t even know that I could be”.

At Alex’s clear joy on her wedding day, Kara felt her hormones kick in and her own eyes begin to water. “Nobody deserves this more than you, Alex”.

“Except you”, the brunette immediately responded, putting a hand on her sister’s bump. “I wish that you could be as happy as me”.

“I am. I mean I wish Mon-El was here so badly but this baby was an unexpected gift and I couldn’t be happier about it.  A part of him is still with me and I get more family. I’m thrilled”, Kara insisted as her lips quivered at the mention of Mon-El.

“I love you, Kara. I’m with you all the way, you are not alone”, Alex vowed, hugging her sister.

“I know, Alex. Now let’s forget about me. This is your big day, let’s enjoy it”.

Alex and Kara along with Alex’s other bridesmaid, Agent Vasquez, rode in a small limo to the fancy hotel that Alex and Maggie had booked for the wedding.  Eliza was already waiting for her daughter’s outside when they pulled up along with J’onn and Winn. “I can’t believe my little girl’s getting married”, Eliza gushed, immediately fussing over her eldest.

“You look stunning, Alex”, J’onn complimented with an emotional smile on his face.

“Damn girl, you clean up good”, Winn added and received a slap on the back of his head from J’onn.

Alex hugged each of them and beamed, practically radiating with happiness. “Thanks guys. Let’s go inside, I don’t want to keep Maggie waiting”.

The group went inside where Winn and Eliza went to take their seats. Even though Alex wished that her dad could have been there that day, she was happy to have J’onn walk her down the aisle.

The music started to play and Agent Vasquez walked through the doors to the event room, shortly followed by Kara. Kara vaguely registered the beautifully decorated room before her eyes landed on Maggie who was waiting for her bride at the front, dressed in a stunning black tuxedo style gown. Next to her was Maggie’s best person (as they had been calling Kara and Maggie’s friend) and the audience was filled with various DEO and NYPD colleagues.

Once Kara reached the top of the room, the music changed and everyone stood up as Alex entered with J’onn. Kara had a watery smile on her face throughout the entire ceremony as she watched her sister marry the love of her life. As the two kissed after exchanging the rings, her mind involuntarily went to Mon-El and wondered what he would have looked like had he been here to see it. Happy, undoubtedly and inevitably extremely handsome in a suit. Her heart ached at the thought and she forced herself to push him out of her mind, not wanting to ruin Alex’s day with her melancholy thoughts.


-> requested by @whenimaroundsheldon 

A/N: Thank you for the prompts I received! I present to you some senseless drabble sprinkled with cheesy fluff to brighten up your Monday evening.

Amy tiptoed around the kitchen collecting her bag, shoes and keys as quietly as she could. It was six o’clock in the morning, and Amy was close to successfully sneaking out of the apartment without waking her still-sleeping husband.
She felt conflicted. Should she have told Sheldon where she was going? Would he be hurt when he found out she was doing this without him? What will he say if he wakes up and she’s not in the apartment? Brushing these thought to the side, Amy marched on with her plan. The doctor’s surgery was only a ten minute walk away, but if she drove it would be even quicker. She lunged towards the front door with too much enthusiasm and accidentally kicked the bookshelf standing by the door, causing books and ornaments to crash, clatter and fall onto the floor. She inwardly cursed, but before she could escape Sheldon was  standing in the bedroom doorway, dazed and confused.
“Amy, what are you doing?” asked a sleepy Sheldon as he rubbed his eyes and tried to flatten his bed hair.
“It’s early, go back to sleep” Amy soothed as she tried to collect and reorganise the scattered literature, but Sheldon’s persistence didn’t disappoint.
“It’s six AM, why are you dressed already?”
“I just needed to go out” was the best excuse Amy’s wavering brain could muster in that moment.
“I bought the granola bars you like yesterday”
“I’m not going shopping, Sheldon!” Amy snapped.
“I never said you were!” Sheldon replied in a slightly raised voice; what had he said now? Amy sighed, defeated. She knew the only way out of this was to tell the truth.
“I’m going to see my doctor” Amy admitted.
Sheldon glanced at his watch.
“At six in the morning?! Dr. Weinstein meant it when she said she spends her whole life at work”
“That’s not the point here Sheldon” she said simultaneously rolling her eyes.
“I’m sorry…are you sick, what’s wrong?” He asked sincerely
“Nothing I hope, that what I’m going to make sure of” concerned, Sheldon stepped out of the doorway and closer to Amy. “I’m going to get a fertility test” Sheldon blinked, clearly affected by his wife’s revelation.
“Well, we’ve been married for a while now and we’re not getting any younger. It’s also no secret that you want children” Sheldon paused, and gave a small nod.
“Do you?” He asked suddenly.
“Do I what?”
“Do you want children?” Amy’s face softened at the genuine selfless concern Sheldon displayed.
“Of course I do, that’s why I haven’t been getting our hopes up. You know how hard it was for Leonard and Penny, and she’s much younger than I am. I just wanted to make sure it was definitely a possibility before I brought the subject up” Amy admitted. Sheldon held his stare and took a shallow breath, his emotions concealed by his expressionless face.
You are not going without me” 
“What?” Amy asked in confusion.
“I don’t want you to go on your own” he expressed firmly.
“Sheldon it’s probably all fine, it’s just a precaution” Amy tried to reason with Sheldon, but to no avail.
“I don’t care, this is a big deal and I want to be there…as long as you want me there of course” Sheldon added sheepishly, suddenly realising how forceful his words could sound.
“Of course I do, this affects both of us. I just didn’t want you to panic about it.” Sheldon gave Amy a small smile and wrapped her in a heartfelt embrace.
“Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it” Sheldon assured; “together”.

Congratulations (Alexander Hamilton x Reader) (Sibling!Laurens): Part 1

Title: Congratulations

Pairing: Alexander Hamilton x Reader, Sibling!Laurens

Word Count: 1310

Summary: Your older brother believes Alex might be cheating, and he drops everything and flies to New York from London to get to the bottom of it. However good the intentions, the trip doesn’t have the effect everyone had hoped for.

Notes: I had this idea while singing Congratulations and doing my laundry, and this is what was born because of it. Have fun!

PS: I imagine Laf to be the most hipster/trend slave person EVER but in the chill way

Originally posted by blackbeak

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