no text parks and recreation

  • Hamilton: From now on, we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle One. Maria, codename: "Been There, Done That". Eliza is "Currently Doing That". Angelica is "It Happened Once In A Dream". John, codename: "If I Had To Pick A Guy". And Aaron is... Eagle Two.
  • Burr: Oh thank god.

Chuck: So. Who broke the coffee machine? I’m not mad. I just wanna know.

Castiel: I did. I broke it.

Chuck: No. No, you didn’t. Dean?

Dean: Don’t look at me. Look at Crowley!

Crowley: What?! I didn’t break it.

Dean: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Crowley: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Dean: Suspicious.

Crowley: No, it’s not!

Sam: If it matters, probably not… Rowena was the last one to use it.

Rowena: Liar! Like I would even drink that crap!

Sam: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Rowena: I use the wooden stirrers to kill people. Everyone knows that, Samuel!

Castiel: All right, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it Father.

Chuck: No. Who broke it?

Dean: [whispering] Chuck, Gabriel’s been awfully quiet…

Gabriel: Really?!

Dean: Yeah, really!

Chuck: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

  • me watching parks and recreation: working in government is fun and will lead to lifelong friendships and great change for citizens!
  • me watching veep: working in government is terrible and will make you hate everyone and prove change is impossible!
  • me watching west wing: working in politics is honorable and courageous and will let you interact with the greatest and most heroic people in the country!
  • me watching house of cards: working in government will get you murdered!
  • Bill Cipher: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Triangle One. Sixer, code name - Been There, Done That. Pine Tree is - Currently Doing That. Gideon is - It Happened Once In A Dream. Pacifica, code name - If I Had To Pick A Girl. Shooting Star is... Triangle Two.
  • Mabel: Oh Thank God
Imagine Somehow Draco's and Harry's Crew Actually Hung Out
  • Draco: Who broke the coffee pot? I’m not mad, I just want to know.
  • Blaise: ... I did. I broke it.
  • Draco: No. No, you didn’t. Ron?
  • Ron: Don’t look at me, look at Hermione.
  • Hermione: What?! I didn’t break it!
  • Ron: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
  • Hermione: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Ron: Suspicious.
  • Hermione: No, it’s not!
  • Harry: Psst... If it matters, probably not… Pansy was the last one to use it.
  • Pansy: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Harry: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Pansy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Harry!
  • Blaise: Okay, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Draco.
  • Draco: No! Who broke it?!
  • Ron: *whispering* Well, Ginny's been awfully quiet this whole time.
  • Ginny: *death glare* oh reALLY
  • *Yelling ensues*
  • *Camera pans to Draco*
  • Draco: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict that ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
  • Draco: Well, good. It was getting awfully chummy in here.
  • person: So what happens in parks and rec?
  • me: YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PARKS AND REC! IT'S THE GREATEST SHOW IN THE UNIVERSE FOREVER THROUGHOUT ALL OF TIME!
  • person: Okaay.. but what happens?
  • me: Season one, episode one. Cold opening. We begin with a close up girl playing with a plastic toy pig and cows in a sandpit. A blond woman in business attire, with a clip board crouches down beside her and says "hello, Hi, my name is Leslie Knope and I work for the Parks and Recreation department. Can I ask you a few questions?" the girl continues to play in the sandpit and ignores Leslie, but Leslie keeps talking. "Would you say you are enjoying yourself and having fun? Having a moderate amount of fun and somewhat enjoying yourself? or having no fun. And no enjoyment?" girl keeps on playing, ignoring Leslie so Leslie says "I'm gonna put down a lot of fun." Then a young boy runs in "MS KNOPE! There's a drunk stuck in the slide!" It cuts to a man lying in the top of a slide in playground and Leslie says "sir, this is a children's slide you're not allowed to sleep in here." and Leslie is trying to push the man down with a broom. Then there's a voice over from leslie which changes from a talking head where she's sitting at a park table, to leslie trying to push the man out of the slide.. "you know when I first tell people I work in the government they say 'oh the government stinks, the lines are too long in the DMV. But now, things have changed. People need our help. and it feels good. to be needed." Leslie back on the slide "could you put your arms to your side and that might help you slide down a little easier?" then the drunk protests a bit and leslie continues "do you want to come this way? we're going to need you to get out" the drunk protests more. Leslie: "get out of the slide, here we go" and leslie kicks the slide "wake up. here we go, out of the slide" and then a voice over starts as Leslie continues to get the drunk out "you know the government isn't just a boys club anymore. women are everywhere. It's a great time for women to be in politics - hilary clinton, sarah palin, me, nancy Pelosi" drunk slides down slide "We did it!" small group of people at the park clap.. voice over continues as we see leslie get her hair pulled by some kid in the park and a guy in speedos at a pool which leslie tries not to look at his junk comes up too. "you know, I like to tell people you know, get on board, buckle up, because my ride's gonna be a big one and if you get motion sickness, then put your head between your knees cos Leslie Knope's stopping for no one."
  • person:
  • Me:
  • person:
  • me: BA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABABA BABA BABABA BABABABABABABABA BA BA BA bA BA BA BA BABA BA BA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABA BA BABABABA BABA BABABA BABABABABABABABA BA BA BA bA BA BA BA BA BABA BA BA BA.
the signs as Parks and Rec quotes
  • Aries: Jogging is the worst! I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?
  • Taurus: Oh, my God. These dogs are so cute. I WANT TO THROW UP AND KILL MYSELF.
  • Gemini: I think that Comic Sans always screams 'fun'.
  • Cancer: I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it's gonna bug me if I don't.
  • Leo: I have no idea what I'm doing, but I know I'm doing it really, really well.
  • Virgo: Everything in my life is going wrong right now. Whose fault is this? I demand to know.
  • Libra: I'm not interested in caring about people.
  • Scorpio: Ugh. I hate talking to people about things. This is a nightmare.
  • Sagittarius: No, no. That's too much responsibility for me. I gotta— I gotta find a way out of this.
  • Capricorn: Yes. I am a hunter, and it's 'You' season.
  • Aquarius: My anxiety has kept me up for over fifty hours.
  • Pisces: I'm hungry and my legs are tired. It feels like I just exercised!
Me on tv shows
  • Me: This show is HORRIBLE it will take your emotions, stomp on them, chop them up, shoot them 84 times with a bazooka, throw them in a blender, eat them (without silverware!), shit them out and then tHROW THEM IN YOUR FACE
  • Friend: ...
  • Me: ITS THE BEST SHOW EVER

Ranma: From now on, we’ll be using code names

Ranma: You can adress me as “Eagle 1”

Ranma: Ukyo, codename “Been there, done that”

Ranma: Akane is “Currently doing that”

Ranma: Kuno is “It happened once in a dream”

Ranma: Ryoga is “If I had to pick a dude”

Ranma: and Tofu is…

Tofu:

Ranma:

Ranma: Eagle 2

Tofu: Oh thank god