no text parks and recreation

you know what i realized. maybe i’m a leslie knope. maybe i won’t meet my ben wyatt for like another ten years.

you want to know why? because if i met him now, he’d be the mayor of fucking ice town and i can’t handle that shit.

but when i meet him, he’ll be ben. he’ll be sweet and kind and geeky and have a slammin’ booty. it’s a long way away, but that’s okay.

  • Hamilton: From now on, we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle One. Maria, codename: "Been There, Done That". Eliza is "Currently Doing That". Angelica is "It Happened Once In A Dream". John, codename: "If I Had To Pick A Guy". And Aaron is... Eagle Two.
  • Burr: Oh thank god.
  • me watching parks and recreation: working in government is fun and will lead to lifelong friendships and great change for citizens!
  • me watching veep: working in government is terrible and will make you hate everyone and prove change is impossible!
  • me watching west wing: working in politics is honorable and courageous and will let you interact with the greatest and most heroic people in the country!
  • me watching house of cards: working in government will get you murdered!

Chuck: So. Who broke the coffee machine? I’m not mad. I just wanna know.

Castiel: I did. I broke it.

Chuck: No. No, you didn’t. Dean?

Dean: Don’t look at me. Look at Crowley!

Crowley: What?! I didn’t break it.

Dean: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Crowley: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Dean: Suspicious.

Crowley: No, it’s not!

Sam: If it matters, probably not… Rowena was the last one to use it.

Rowena: Liar! Like I would even drink that crap!

Sam: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Rowena: I use the wooden stirrers to kill people. Everyone knows that, Samuel!

Castiel: All right, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it Father.

Chuck: No. Who broke it?

Dean: [whispering] Chuck, Gabriel’s been awfully quiet…

Gabriel: Really?!

Dean: Yeah, really!

Chuck: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Hi! So I’m not new to Tumblr, but I need some new people to talk to and follow!! So please like/reblog this if you like:

-Sanvers
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and I’ll check out your blog :) (i follow back)

the signs as Parks and Rec quotes
  • Aries: Jogging is the worst! I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?
  • Taurus: Oh, my God. These dogs are so cute. I WANT TO THROW UP AND KILL MYSELF.
  • Gemini: I think that Comic Sans always screams 'fun'.
  • Cancer: I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it's gonna bug me if I don't.
  • Leo: I have no idea what I'm doing, but I know I'm doing it really, really well.
  • Virgo: Everything in my life is going wrong right now. Whose fault is this? I demand to know.
  • Libra: I'm not interested in caring about people.
  • Scorpio: Ugh. I hate talking to people about things. This is a nightmare.
  • Sagittarius: No, no. That's too much responsibility for me. I gotta— I gotta find a way out of this.
  • Capricorn: Yes. I am a hunter, and it's 'You' season.
  • Aquarius: My anxiety has kept me up for over fifty hours.
  • Pisces: I'm hungry and my legs are tired. It feels like I just exercised!
  • Bill Cipher: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Triangle One. Sixer, code name - Been There, Done That. Pine Tree is - Currently Doing That. Gideon is - It Happened Once In A Dream. Pacifica, code name - If I Had To Pick A Girl. Shooting Star is... Triangle Two.
  • Mabel: Oh Thank God
Imagine Somehow Draco's and Harry's Crew Actually Hung Out
  • Draco: Who broke the coffee pot? I’m not mad, I just want to know.
  • Blaise: ... I did. I broke it.
  • Draco: No. No, you didn’t. Ron?
  • Ron: Don’t look at me, look at Hermione.
  • Hermione: What?! I didn’t break it!
  • Ron: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
  • Hermione: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
  • Ron: Suspicious.
  • Hermione: No, it’s not!
  • Harry: Psst... If it matters, probably not… Pansy was the last one to use it.
  • Pansy: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
  • Harry: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
  • Pansy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Harry!
  • Blaise: Okay, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Draco.
  • Draco: No! Who broke it?!
  • Ron: *whispering* Well, Ginny's been awfully quiet this whole time.
  • Ginny: *death glare* oh reALLY
  • *Yelling ensues*
  • *Camera pans to Draco*
  • Draco: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict that ten minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
  • Draco: Well, good. It was getting awfully chummy in here.

okay so there was this episode of parks and rec where a guy who’s obsessed with twilight locks himself in leslie’s office until they put the books in a government time capsule and instead of just doing the easy thing and bashing on those trash novels and making the same jokes everyone’s already made the writers turned it into a great story about the way we attach to mediocre things and how important those things can be to us. like i don’t think there was a single moment in it where they made a joke about how terrible twilight is, and it got really emotional when you find out the guy actually doesn’t care about twilight but it’s his middle school-aged daughter’s favorite novel and since him and her mom are going through a divorce right now he thought this would bring them closer and cheer her up from the divorce and holy shit parks and rec is such an amazing show that never took the easy way out by just piggybacking on other people’s jokes

btw this is coming from someone who absolutely despises twilight