no swimming after eating

Babysitting

Summary: Your cousin needs help with her adorable 2-year-old.

Words: 1533

Paring: Steve x Reader

Warnings: Kids and loads and loads of fuffly

Originally posted by bushy-barnes

Originally posted by prtypooper

“Are you sure that you three are going to be okay?” You look into your cousins’ eyes and nod. You understand that she is worried about leaving her daughter with you and Steve for the whole afternoon, it’s the first time since her divorce that she is going out and she is looking for excuses not to “Of course, how many times have I watched Kate? Go have fun on your date.”

“It is not a date and are you sure that Steve is not gonna mind? He works so much and this is his free time…” You don’t let her finish “Of course it is a date, he asked you for coffee and cake, and in my book that is a date. About Steve, don’t worry he loves kids.”

You are not sure if this is true, you and Steve never talked about having kids or even kids in general in your eight-month relationship. But how bad can it be? In the worst case, he spends all day locked in the room while you play with a toddler.

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Late Night Snacks and Underwear - 5

Fandom: Marvel’s Avengers

Summary: Y/N and Peter run into each other late one night. After, she is beyond confused about how she sees Peter. And Peter? Well he was already in love with her, but it takes advice, teasing, and another surprise encounter for them to face their feelings.

Words: 1,100+

Pairing/Characters: PeterParkerxStark!Reader, Bucky, the whole fam

Warning: More awkwardness. Partial nudity.

Author’s Note: I love Bucky acting like a big brother. I really hope you guys like this… I kinda worry every time I post a new part tbh. But, here goes nothing! Take a look lil ones. (Also, I think there’s only going to be one more part after this…..)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4


Originally posted by koenigreus

Contrary to popular belief, Bucky Barnes was one of the kindest and most thoughtful people you’d ever met. Sure, he had a metal arm and a forced-murderous past, but you felt unfathomably comforted when he gently prodded you to tell him about Peter.

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wow look at these cute summer questions!
  1. What’s your favorite flavor of popsicle? 
  2. What’s your favorite slurpee flavor?
  3. Vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry ice cream?
  4. Would you prefer that ice cream in a cup or a cone?
  5. Iced coffee or iced tea?
  6. Strawberry kiwi or strawberry banana smoothie?
  7. Do you like papaya with salt and lime?
  8. If you had to give up either avocado or mango for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
  9. Strawberry lemonade or cherry limeade?
  10. How do you feel about coleslaw?
  11. Do you wait any amount of time after eating to go swimming?
  12. Circular or rectangular pools?
  13. Bikini or one piece?
  14. Speedo or board shorts?
  15. Would you rather swim in a lake or an ocean?
  16. What’s your favorite type of flotation device?
  17. When was the last time you went to the beach?
  18. Do you wear sunscreen? How about tanning lotion?
  19. Huge sun hats or ironic dad hats?
  20. What scent reminds you of summer the most?
  21. Create a 5 song summer playlist.
  22. What’s your favorite summer memory?
  23. Have you ever gone camping?
  24. Have you ever set up a tent in your backyard and pretended that you were out in the wilderness?
  25. Have you ever been fishing?
Beach day with MonstaX Reaction

///GIFS DO NOT BELONG TO US, ALL CREDIT GOES TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER///

 Jooheon:Jooheon would love to go spend the day at the beach with you. In fact it would probably be the ideal date  place for him. Just relaxing on the beach with you, the sun, and the water to him company. It sounds like heaven to him.


Minhyuk:He would be like a little kid on Christmas, wanting to do anything and everything. From wanting to play volleyball to swimming for hours on end. Just an extremely high energy day.

Shownu:Shownu would definitely be more chill, he’d just want to sunbath on the sand, maybe going to the swim to cool down a little. He would love how great it feels to relax with you.

Wonho:The beach is his place to be. He loves the chill atmosphere of it. He loves it even more if he gets to spend a day with you at the beach. Rather than swimming, he would be throwing the frisbee or playing volleyball.

 Hyungwon:Its not that he hates the beach, but well… he does. It’s too hot and he always feels gross afterwards. There too much sand in places that he never asked for. And the worst part is that no matter how much sunscreen that he puts on, he is fried by the end of the day.  

IM: He would be very similar to way that Shownu would act. Just chill. This way a time to be relax and spend some down time with his boo. Not to mention to soak up a little bit of the sun’s rays. He would love to eat food after swimming for a long time.

Kihyun:I only have one word. Sand. This boy would love to play in the sand. He would spend hours on a very detailed and Elaborate sandcastle only to destroy it when he was done because that was “fun”. He would only ask you to bury him neck down in the sand and  you would gladly.

Beach Days

As always, available on AO3 here


The bright sun felt liberating on El’s ever-tanning skin. Arms outstretched behind her on the beach towel, she tilted her head back, letting the light warm her face. Wind blew subtly across the lake, the breeze, welcoming, ruffled her now curly hair.

The first time the gang came to the lake, Jonathan driving with Will, Lucas, and Dustin, as Steve, Nancy, Mike, and El followed, El had been petrified of being too near the water. Mike had warned her ahead of time about just how big the lake would seem, checking in with her almost religiously about it for days up to the trip, and did his best to explain everything so there wouldn’t be any surprises. And he assured her many, many times that she didn’t have to go in if she didn’t want to.

El was silently grateful for that last bit being repeated. She didn’t want to disappoint any of her friends because of how highly they spoke of the beach, but the three other boys assured her that they understood her hesitation as well.

When they had pulled up the day after school got out, the boys happily scooted out of Jonathan’s car so quickly they almost forgot to grab their towels. Subsequently, they also didn’t help unload the umbrella, coolers, or toys, which was somewhat expected.

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svt as things i love.

Seungcheol: the moon lighting the night like its midday, freshly cut grass, jumping into a pile of leaves, muddy work boots, freshly paved roads, fireplaces

Jeonghan: freshly washed strawberries, random compliments, tulips, freshly made guacamole, a quickened heartbeat at the sight of something you love, pillow forts

Joshua: vanilla candles, a long walk in the park at nighttime, rainy summer days, warm blankets fresh out of the wash, chocolate ice cream, holding hands for the first time

Junhui: partly cloudy night sky, throwing rocks in a river, running too fast, cute workout clothes, the smell of fresh soil, fireworks, the feeling when you wake up from a nap

Soonyoung: salty popcorn, the feeling of eating a good meal after swimming all day, ceiling fans, tucked in button down shirts, the game Twister

Wonwoo: the smell of your favorite book, oatmeal, calico cats, warm knit sweaters, angsty poems, winter nights, singing in the shower

Jihoon: clean houses, dishwasher soap, listening to the rain from under an umbrella, first day of spring, car washes

Mingyu: strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting, a nighttime shower, a teapot, fairy lights, sucking on a winter green mint, hot chocolate

Minghao: a nice silver car, cartilage piercings, cracking your knuckles, chocolate wafers, a fresh haircut, stretching, dancing in the dark to soft music

Seokmin: orange juice, the feeling of entering an amusement park, freshly brushed teeth, lazy Saturdays, eating raspberries, overly sweet lemonade

Seungkwan: the feeling of drinking cold water when really thirsty, planting a garden, a tight love filled hug, the flee market, feeling the heat of the sun on your skin

Hansol: cherry lollipops, singing loudly in the car with the windows down, visiting an aquarium, silent movies, day long hikes ending in a sunset view

Chan: new sneakers, staying up late, petting a cat, Broadway musicals, unfolded laundry, fuzzy socks

pick a side;

member- taekook x you

genre- fluff

words- 805

summary- A is a Marvel fan and B is a DC fan, C doesn’t care either way and always mixes them up (taken from this list) polyamorous!au

a/n- d;aklghasf just a short and sweet poly!au. this was so fun to write tbh. also, i’m dedicating this scenario to april aka  @ohmyhoseok because i know she loves taekook & superheroes ;) 

Originally posted by btswendy

Even though your relationship has lasted nearly a year, you three are still constantly finding new things about each other- big or small. For instance, last week Jungkook found out Taehyung cried everytime he watched a movie involving a dog. Or just yesterday you learned that Jungkook absolutely will not go swimming after he eats for at least thirty minutes, like the old myth. Whatever it happened to be, it was always interesting. Well, almost always. 

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Poor Starfish Monster

I am having a hard time getting over how weird episode 30 of Battle Fever J is. Egos creates Starfish Monster:

With the sole purpose of having him eat Battle Kenya.  To do this, Starfish monster tracking him to a swimming pool with his friends and after a failed attempt to eat him (Kenya tastes bad) while he sleeps, he turns into a normal starfish to attack him in the pool.

He floats over to Kenya and attaches himself to Kenya’s butt!

The minute the monster does that, he gets discovered by one of Kenya’s friends!

Yes, Miss America, next week we’ll work on land animals!  Anyway, the starfish starts moving and Maria tosses it, right onto her friend’s chest!

Another member of the team tears it off and throws the little monster:

Right into the street outside the public pool:

Where it gets run over by a passing car:

Salome has to go back and report the situation to Hedar, in the best way possible:

How does Egos’ Second in Command take it?

Pretty well apparently.  I guess he’s used to losing and having their plans messed up by this point.

So he throws the flattened monster in the trash!  Seriously!  I kind of love Battle Fever J for not being afraid to just be all out weird.

anonymous asked:

Any iwadai hcs for a trip to the beach?

ooh what a timely question since summer is coming ( ゚▽゚)

  • you know everyone there is going to be staring at The Beefy Boys :^)
  • they both tan very easily so they help each other put sunblock on throughout the day //wriggles eyebrows// they may or may not try to sneak a few kisses and start tickling each other under their beach umbrella as they do
  • when they go with their friends, they always have a beach volleyball tournament. everyone is fired up to win because the prize is usually food but also no one wants to lose because there’s always an embarrassing punishment for the losers (there was one time where iwadai lost and had to skinny dip at night. it would have been pretty romantic with all the stars and the moon shining so prettily bright, but it was freezing cold and they almost got caught by security. everyone else watched them from a distance cackling)
    • sometimes they’ll play chicken fight too if its not too crowded. iwadai are the undefeated reigning champs  💪 💪 💪
    • they also play pranks on anyone who ends up taking a nap, burying their bodies with sand and creating funny sculptures and taking pictures when they finish
  • when its just the two of them going to the beach, they lounge around a lot and take it easy. just relaxing under their umbrella, eating popsicles and watermelon slices, or walking along the shoreline of the beach chatting about whatever. they’ll swim when they get sweaty enough to want to wash it away with the cool waters. they’ll goof off in the water, splashing each other like children before then sneaking off to an area more discreet and make-out until daichi feels like the rock he’s leaning on feels like its burning his back
  • its inevitable that they both get hit on by both girls and guys
    • as ive mentioned in another hc post, iwadai are both pretty dense when it comes to other people flirting with them but they notice when someone flirts with the other
    • daichi doesn’t really get all that jealous. he actually finds it amusing that iwa is dense to strangers flirting with him so he stays quiet and watches as iwa unknowingly rejects strangers’ advances on him. daichi does get a little worried though when its a girl flirting with iwa, especially if she’s touchy. he’ll intervene then, being polite and coming up with an excuse to pull iwa away. iwa teases daichi, accusing him of being jealous and wanting him all to himself. daichi responds by saying, “and? is there a problem with that?” easily admitting it. iwa smirks all big, feeling absolutely loved
    • iwa, on the other hand, is incredibly uncomfortable any time someone flirts with daichi in front of him. if its a guy, iwa has no problem, saying straight out that they’re together. it gets daichi’s cheeks warm, embarrassed but happy when iwa takes hold of his hand and waves it around to make it extra obvious to the stranger that they’re interrupting their time together. daichi half-heartedly scolds iwa when they’re alone again because daichi is still worried about openly showing they’re dating. if its a girl flirting with daichi, iwa is a little more reluctant to be tactless. its hard to be mean when most of the girls that fall for daichi seem like the sweet type.
  • i like to think iwa is very athletic and good at any sport, so swimming is pretty easy for him. daichi is a slightly above average swimmer, but he tends to get cramps. iwa says its because he never waits the full 30 minutes after eating before swimming but daichi knows thats just a myth
  • they stay at the beach until the sun is about ready to set. there’s less people now, so daichi lets his guard down a little and allows for some sweet, sappy kisses
  • the next day they wake up in pain because they’ve got sunburns even though they spent so much time rubbing sunblock on each other. as they’re washing up they tease and admire each other’s tan lines

also have some chubby daichi + iwa at the beach too :>

  • chubby daichi is definitely more reluctant to go to the beach, but iwa convinces him to go since its really hot, and their ac is broken, and their apartment swimming pool is too small with all the residents occupying it
  • daichi wears a short-sleeved hoodie/t-shirt to hid his body. he hates how it gets him sweating 3x as much but he’s too self-conscious about his stomach chub that he’d rather die than take off his top. iwa doesn’t force him to take it off, but he gets worried daichi might get heat stroke
  • daichi spends the beginning of their trip sulking under their beach umbrella trying to hide away from the heat of the sun and iwa sits with him. daichi feels bad, but iwa doesn’t mind waiting even if it meant spending the whole day just chomping on ice and snacks under their umbrella.
  • eventually daichi feels confident enough to want to go swimming, but the heat makes him too exhausted to even want to move so iwa picks him up and carries him as he runs towards the waters. daichi is giggling like crazy when they splash together in the water. iwa still holding onto him as they float in the more shallow side of the water. daichi kisses him quickly, for once not caring they’re in public, thanking him for having to deal with his insecurities and for the many times he made him feel comforted.

anonymous asked:

this is silly but i love the thought of team voltron going to a planet that has a beach or oceanfront. lance is going absolutely nuts, he's so happy and he keeps trying to drag pidge into the water. coran is building a surprisingly intricate sand-castle. hunk is king of both barbecue and volleyball, and allura and shiro are enjoying the sun and relaxation. keith is next to shiro on the towels and he's sketching in a book, doodling here and there until shiro throws sand to make him react/laugh.

oh i love beach episodes, theyre adorable!! It probably takes Lance forever to get out of the water, he just wants to swim all day he’s so happy. lmao pidge isn’t an outdoorsy person, so i wonder if she’s also like “no no the beach is bad,,, the sand gets everywhere, im too short to walk out in the water, and im getting sunburnt already, no thank you,,” and Lance just can’t believe it. He sets out to make her see the Truth 

lmao what if Coran’s sand castle is actually a to scale model of the castle ship, complete with lion hangers and little sand lions. He won’t stop talking about his grandfather’s schematics and blueprints for it the whole time he builds. He’s not used to planets with oceans though and is absolutely horrified when he realizes the tide is a Thing. Spends the entire rest of the day building a moat to defend his territory. Pidge and Hunk calculate the best plan of defense for the castle, Lance helps build

if Hunk is volleyball king though then we will need volleyball teams–i vote garrison trio vs Shiro, Keith, and Allura. Every match is incredibly intense and Allura treats it like a paladin training drill. Everyone is really exhausted after they’re finished, so Hunk makes them all a lovely meal–and then grabs Lance and forces him to sit down before he can run back into the water because “thirty minutes Lance!! You have to wait thirty minutes after you eat before you can swim” “No no,,, this is space swimming, hunk, it’s totally different–” “it’s the same thing!!”

I wonder if Allura and Coran have been to many planets with large bodies of water. If not she might be really interested in everything, thoroughly surveying the shore and completely baffled but intrigued by how much humans love the sea. Shiro talks to her about stuff they’d do at the beach back home while they sit on the sand together. 

oh and i love the idea that Keith draws!! maybe he’s trying to sketch his friends too, trying to capture them all having fun because it’s so nice to see everyone able to just relax and have a good time for once. He’s focusing so intently on it though, brow furrowed as he concentrates on the page, straining to get every line just right–he looks so tense, so Shiro kicks up some sand or splashes him when the tide comes up. soon theyre both laughing and chasing each other all around the shore, and for once Keith doesn’t worry about a thing

HOLIDAY IN SYDNEY | Jai x Reader

Originally posted by theflowersinyourhairr


You stood up from your beach chair, and tugged the sides of your bikini bottoms up. Grabbing the spray-on sunscreen in your beach bag, you stood away from your group of friends so that the wind wouldn’t blow the excess sunscreen all over them. It was a beautiful sunny day in Sydney, and you couldn’t believe how dead it was on the beach.

“I’m gonna take a quick swim!” you shout back. You were happy to be on a week long getaway with some of your best friends. You walked towards the water, stopping right where the water meets the sand. Dipping your toes in, you shivered slightly. It wasn’t as warm as you’d expected, but it was still nice enough to take a swim. You could feel the warmth from the sun warming your bones. You slowly walked into the water.

The water looked like a million tiny diamonds. You knew how you had to do this - just get in quick, and get it over with. You’d practically grown up on the lake in the summer when you were a kid. You took a deep breath before plunging your whole body underwater.

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I Need a Hero

Member: Wonwoo
Genre: Fluff/a little comedy
Word Count: 918


Wonwoo didn’t believe in love at first sight. It wasn’t like he was a negative person with a pessimistic outlook on life, but he always thought that it was dumb to think that you could fall in love with someone without knowing anything about that person. Love was something that took time and effort to achieve.

Pool parties were also something that Wonwoo didn’t believe in. Too many people crowded around a giant tub of water was an accident waiting to happen. At least, that’s what he told his friends. Mingyu and Jun didn’t have to worry about pool parties because when they stripped down to nothing but their swimsuits every girl within a 5 mile radius melted. They were golden skinned gods with muscle and appeal. Wonwoo had some muscle definition himself, but only because he had a fat content of about, oh, nothing. He was a very pale, very noodle-y looking person in comparison to his friends, and he was definitely a little self-conscious about it.

Jun, Mingyu, and Wonwoo were some of the first ones at Vernon’s first annual pool party, and that was actually a good thing. Wonwoo could reserve a pool chair for himself and read until his friends decided they wanted to leave. Knowing that he might have to wait for quite a while, he had a novel he’d read about halfway through, along with three he hadn’t even started yet. As long as his messenger bag stayed dry, it’d all be fine.

He waved hi to Vernon and Seungkwan as he made his way to the back where the pool was; they were a little busy helping Seungcheol untie a giant fake whale from the top of his car. God knows what they were going to do with that. Jun and Mingyu quickly found their way into the kitchen to get drinks, and Wonwoo planted himself down in a plastic lounge chair and pulled out his first book. He got sucked into it pretty fast, and he barely noticed as the space around him filled with people. He recognised some familiar voices, but unless one of them came up to him to say hello, he wasn’t going to go out of his way to speak to any of them.

It wasn’t until he was a quarter through his second book until something managed to make him look up from his reading.

“You’re going to get crumbs in the pool,” one of the familiar voices said amusedly.

“Ugh, Joshua, I’m not going to; now leave me alone before I accidentally drop this in the water.” an unfamiliar female voice said back. Wonwoo couldn’t help but be intrigued by this conversation, and he definitely wasn’t un-amused by the situation. There was a girl standing in the pool by herself, trying to eat an entire footlong sub sandwich.

“Aren’t you supposed to wait thirty minutes after eating to swim?” Wonwoo asked you, gently setting his book down beside himself.

“Well, if I eat while I’m already in the pool, that cancels out, I think.” you replied, looking up at him after taking a huge bite. When you two made eye contact, you made Wonwoo change his beliefs on two matters. Firstly, this pool party was suddenly worth being dragged to. Secondly, he definitely now understood the term love at first sight. By the looks of it you felt the same way, because you stood there and stared back at him with the same dumbfounded look on your face…until the sandwich started to fall apart.

“MY TOMATO-” you screeched as the vegetable landed in the water, breaking the intense staredown you were sharing with the handsome boy above you. “HOLD THIS,” you all but shouted at him, eagerly holding out the sandwich for him to take. He shot up to grab it without question as you dove underwater to find the tomato slice before anyone else did, however he could not protect it for long.

A stray frisbee made its way past him, and Vernon dove to catch it, knocking Wonwoo into the pool as he went. You came up from the bottom of the pool holding your tomato in victory, but the floating lettuce and cheese all around you when you wiped the water out of your face was a little disheartening. There was no way you were going to be able to hide your pool snack now.

Wonwoo broke the surface of the water with a gasp for air, and you put two and two together to figure out what had happened. He saw you and tried to stutter an apology, but all you could focus on was the way his wet t-shirt clung to his body, and how good his hair looked flipped back like that. He looked even more delicious than that sandwich had, in all honestly. He was still trying to apologize when you just reached up to get a stray pickle slice that had stuck to his hair.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” you giggled, tossing the pickle over to the edge of the pool. “How about we get out of here and you buy me another one?”

“I think that’s a great idea.” he said, relaxing a little bit, even though his face was still flushed red. You realized that you hadn’t properly introduced yourself yet, and you were about to tell this mysterious boy your name until Joshua suddenly appeared in your peripheral vision.

“I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T GET ANY IN THE POOL?”

- Marcy (You get the title? bc hero is another name for a sub sandwich? Sorry, I’ll let myself out.)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I’ve recently raved about Pitch (please go and watch btw, I NEED A SEASON 2!!), and now I’m going to rave about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I had watched the pilot when it first aired and while I had mildly enjoyed it, I wasn’t really hooked. Still, it was a show that I had on my back burner for when I had nothing else to watch. Well, that time finally came. I binge-watched the whole thing and I want to yell from the rooftops how amazing this show is! If you can get over the title, you’ll be rewarded. There’s so much that I love about CEG! The main character is deeply flawed and her whole arc is coming to terms with her flaws and overcoming them. She’s deceitful and misguided and self-centered and selfish, but she’s also a poor soul who is struggling with depression and mental illness and who strives to make herself happy. She has the most beautiful friendship with one of her work mates, which is almost like a love story? It’s so real because that’s how women experience friendship with each other. Fighting with your bestie is worse than a breakup, and this show nails that. There’s this cool dude who’s the boss and is super sweet and the best dad ever, and after divorcing his wife and meeting some new people thanks to Rebecca he realizes he’s bisexual? He actually SINGS about his bisexuality, and it’s the most beautiful song ever? Anyway, there’s so much to love about this show, but the thing I like the most is how real it is in a way that few shows are. What’s more, it’s real while being funny. It’s real about tough things - like self-loathing and depression - and it nails exactly how we feel when we are going through all of that stuff but it makes you laugh about it! Which is so precious! And yes, sometimes it’s just ridiculously funny. Anyway, to give you a taste of why I can’t get over how awesome this show is, I made a list of my favorite songs so far…

1. You Stupid Bitch – An ode to self-loathing and self-hatred

You ruined everything
You stupid bitch
You ruined everything
You stupid, stupid bitch
You’re just a lying little bitch who ruins things
And wants the world to burn
Bitch
You’re a stupid bitch
And lose some weight

2.  Oh My God I Think I Like You

My feelings get stronger every day

I’m like a little girl, not in a role-playing way

Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings?

Is there spermicidal lubricant that can kill

The fluttering in my heart?

Is there an IUD

That can stop the image of you and me

Getting married on a hillside, surrounded by ducks

And then we get into a rowboat?

3. I Could If I Wanted To - because it’s safer to half-ass everything than try…

Whoop-dee-frickin’-doo, a happy dad

With his big dad calves and his stupid baseball cap

And his T-ball shirt and dumbass son

Throwin’ a ball, like it’s so important to know how to throw a ball

Whoop-dee-frickin’-doo!

Who cares about throwin’ a ball or havin’ a kid?

It’ll get ya nowhere in life

Not like gettin’ anywhere matters

Although I guess it does if you care

Which I don’t!

But I could! But I don’t!

But I could if I wanted to, yeah!

4. Sexy Getting Ready Song - WATCH THIS. There’s nothing sexy about getting ready for a gal!

God, what
This is how you get ready? This is some
This is horrifying, like a scary movie or something
Like some nasty-ass patriarchal bullshit
You know what? I got to go apologize to some bitches
I’m forever changed after what I just seen

5. Face Your Fears - yeah, but just… maybe… don’t do what Paula is telling you to?

If you’re scared of bees (If you’re scared of bees)

Get stung! (Don’t have an EpiPen ready)

Reach for the stars (Literally touch the stars)

Face your fears! (Stars aren’t that hot)

Face your fears (Face your fears)

Join the Marines (Join the Marines)

Swim right after eating (Don’t wait 30 minutes)

Cause you are amazing (So amazing)

Wipe back to front (Don’t wipe front to back)

Drop out of school (School is stupid)

6. Gettin’ Bi - BEST BISEXUAL ANTHEM EVER!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUDab9piv_U

Now some may say
“Oh, you’re just gay
Why don’t you just go gay all the way?”
But that’s not it
‘cause bi’s legit
Whether you’re a he or a she
We might be a perfect fit
And one more thing
I tell you what;
Being bi does not imply that you’re a player or a slut
Sure, I like sex
But I’m no ho
I take things slow
Until I feel at ease

7. I’m A Good Person - when you want to believe you’re good but you’re kind of a douche?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4hh1YhDfbA

I’m a good person all over the place
I cum my good right into your face
Everybody says I’m one good ass chick
And if you don’t think so you can lick
My balls. Which, again, are filled with good

(…)

I’m a good, such a good, real good person
I’m a good person through and through
I’m a good, such a good, real good person
Lemme hear you say it too
Say it. Say it! Or I’ll kill your husband
I’ll do it! I’ll gut him like a fish
You’re a good person
Aw, thank you

8. I Gave You a UTI - Weird topic for one of the catchiest songs in the show, IMO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ytnBRjmDXs

I’m so good at sex
Your maidenship got wrecked!
My penis is the reason you may die, die, die!
I gave you a UTI!

9.  Settle for Me - because we’ve all almost begged someone to love us…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtb-ZPOkMyI

So won’t you settle for me
Come on and settle for me
Say yes or no before I choke on all this swallowed pride
I have no problem being picked out from the bottom
If he’s your broken condom, I’m Plan B!
So lower those expectations and settle for me

10. You Go First - when we’re in a fight with our besties and we want to apologize… after they apologize first…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzHJlOmuYsY

So… go ahead and say

you’re kind of sorry!

‘So I can say… Oh, no, no, no please!’

Just like I rehearsed!

If you open the door…

I’ll apologize so much more!

Yes I will… But you go first!

11. We Tapped that Ass - best song about anal sex ever okay?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilztSh5Cr2E

On the table you were
willing and able!

On the ottoman
you took a lot of man!

And in the safe in the closet
I made a deposit!

I also tapped that Ass
all over this house!

12. Who’s the New Guy? - the meta song about the show self-awareness regarding its characters and plots… 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6zP_LE4HFE

Who’s this new character?
I mean, he’s such a “character”
Such a big persona
that’s not relatable at all.

Do we really need a new guy
this far into the season?
and by far into the season
I mean it’s almost Fall.

(…)

Is this some desperate move to
try and help our ratings?

You mean our terrible ratings
on Legal scores.com?

Yeah!


Will he be here forever?

Or just two or three episodes?

I mean, Karen’s manic episodes.

anyway, it’s awesome, go watch it! it’s on Netflix!

I love the idea of you looking at me like I was make of gold, of stars. I love the idea of you treating me as though I was the first thing you held close to your heart. I love the idea of you believing I was the most beautiful thing in this damned universe. I love the idea of you holding me close when I need comforted, or I simply want to be held. I love the idea of all the stupid things we’ll laugh at or us being together. I love the idea of your smile and your laugh and how bright your eyes are in person. I love the idea of drinking hot chocolate in winter by the fireplace after a snowball fight, and eating ice cream in summer after swimming until we look like elderly raisins. I love the idea of sharing our interests, our talents. I love the idea of two becoming one. I love you and you are all I want.

Mobile ramblings

Per discord shananigans, Noe has never been to the beach. He’s never seen the ocean. There’s plenty of rivers and lakes in France that he definitely know how to swim but he’s never had to deal with waves when swimming.

Take him to the beach! He’ll be the one running through the shallow waves. Knocked over by a passing big wave cause he wasn’t paying attention. What are cramps? Why can’t he just swim after eating two tartes?

Let him make friends with a crab. All the crabs! He will be king of the crabs and sit and pet them for hours. What is this clear blob with streamers floating in the water? Can it be his friend too?

Think of how DARK he’ll get being out in the sun. He’s already got a dark complexion as it is!

He’ll stay all day and then watch the moon and stars on the beach at night.

Originally posted by everydaylouie