no spoons

biomechatronic  asked:

a prompt/thought: how well do juno and peter sleep together? and i don't mean /sleep together/, i just mean like... how do they fit together in a bed? do they cuddle? are peter's elbows too sharp-- is juno's stubble too scratchy? just these nerds trying to coexist and learning to love each other oh gosh

  • peter falls asleep fast and hard and deep in a way that probably should have gotten him killed years ago. he’s spent his life learning to take sleep when he can, in any space, and once he’s out he is out. he doesn’t so much as roll over.
  • on the other hand he does talk in his sleep, a lot. it’s usually bizarre and often vaguely threatening and more than once juno has woken him up to demand what the hell he is dreaming about to be saying something like that (the answer is dissatisfying; nureyev does most of his dreaming while awake, and thankfully his sleep-talk rarely seems to give away his thoughts).
  • also, sometimes he sleeps flat on his face?? like a weirdo???
  • both of them snore, especially juno with his several-times-broken nose, it’s like someone’s running a rusty motor in there
  • juno grew up without a lot of room, and there were a lot of nights without heating in oldtown (and more than a few in his current apartment), and he has developed a habit of sleeping not quite in the fetal position, but close. (he also falls asleep on the sofa like this a lot.)
  • contrary to peter he’s one of those people who wakes up between every single sleep cycle, two or three times a night, and gets twitchy and restless over every noise. usually he has to squirm around a bit before he’s comfortable enough to drop off again.
  • if given the space, though, peter will spread out like a starfish, and juno will fall asleep curled up right in the middle of the bed like the asshole cat he truly is, so if either one goes to bed much before the other they can expect quite a bit of elbowing and complaining before they settle in.
  • mars is a fairly cold place and peter is not built for thermoregulation, but juno is a stocky little human space heater, and so juno can’t complain too much about the way his boyfriend sleeps like a rock; because he knows that when peter falls asleep wrapped around him for warmth, the same familiar arm will be thrown over juno’s shoulder and peter’s face still mashed up against the back of his neck every time he wakes up.
  • the only thing that ever wakes peter up is that juno is an incorrigible blanket hog and sometimes it seems like the colder it is the more likely he is to wake up shivering next to a sort of unconscious human blanket cocoon. juno is rarely sorry about this until peter sticks his cold feet back under the blankets.
Confession #2,251

My condition has been improving slightly over the last few months with medication changes, but now I’m starting to feel guilty that I’m sick but… not as sick as before? I still don’t know what my limits are and I feel like I don’t deserve the money I get to help me live now because there are days where I’m almost normal. I don’t want to get sicker but getting healthier is almost as scary now. I don’t want people to expect me to be 100% when I know I won’t ever be full recovered.

imagine the nine-nine playing ninja spoon wars:

  • it’s an annual event that stretches multiple days and everyone gets really into it because of course they do, there’s a lot of sneaking around and watching each other with wary eyes
  • jake was the one to suggest it in the first place. every year he goes all out with a spoon bandolier, spoons shoved in his sleeves assassin’s creed style, fitting tunes, elaborate multi-spoon weapons (he makes a star out of some spoons; unfortunately it doesn’t work as well as it looks), etc. 
  • rosa is easily the most terrifying ninja assassin. one year she dropped out from a vent to get charles
  • amy is actually really good at ninja spoon wars because she makes secret binders of all their routines and devises traps. holt is the first to catch on and make sure that he’s unpredictable during the game
  • there’s a lot of ducking beneath desks and hiding in closets. once jake hides under HR jim’s desk for a good hour when rosa happens to walk in. HR jim is less than amused but stays quiet 
  • charles is the worst. one year he gets jake as his first target and every time he gets close to killing him, he “just couldn’t do that to jake, he’s my best friend! i can’t stab him in the back!”. eventually he just stands in the middle of the precinct and asks for his assassin to end him now before he’s forced to kill jake or the unthinkable happens and jake gets his name
  • (unfortunately jake already had his name. he feels only a little bad killing him)
  • (”et tu, jake?”)
  • actually hitchcock and scully are the worst. completely predictable, you just have to wait around by their desks or in the kitchen and soon enough they’ll show up. the only time hitchcock ever successfully killed anyone was when he had scully and even then, he was killed by amy a second later
  • gina starts out just being the judge and target assigner, but eventually starts playing
  • his first year at the precinct, holt pretends not play but secretly he does (gina plays that year to help with this scheme and she has his name because someone needs to have it and they both win in the end). terry is his first target so he stabs him alone in the office with the blinds closed and THE LOOK OF UTTER BETRAYAL ON TERRY’S FACE IS PRICELESS. holt also makes terry promise not to tell the others - which allows him to pick them off one by one until the end
  • “you never see a good ninja coming” is holt’s line when he ends jake, the last except for gina and himself that year. jake doesn’t even mind losing, he’s so thrilled that the captain is playing
  • (ok he minds a little, he vows to get his revenge next year)
  • one year after they’re dating, jake and amy end up as the final two, they spend over a day circling each other and trying to corner one another. amy ends it by surprise-kissing jake in the precinct one morning and then stabbing him in the ribs with a spoon. it’s a very dramatic death scene, full of betrayal
  • ninja spoon wars inspires a LOT of looks of betrayal
  • also a lot of spoons flying around the precinct
  • the beat cops always know when it’s ninja spoon wars because suddenly there are no plastic spoons in the building anymore except those on the ground. they always sigh and resign themselves to metal spoons for the week

add your own headcanons if you’d like

Confession #2,252

I know this sounds awful, but sometimes I wish I had cancer instead. People understand cancer. My condition is rare and no one knows about it before I tell them. Every time I admit I’m ill I need to spend the energy explaining it. Cancer can potentiality be removed, but I’ll be on medicine for life no matter what. Cancer is a killer but so is my illness if I forget to take my meds, and I so often forget… I feel bad for even admitting this, but at least if I had cancer people would get it.

Bed magick (for my spoonie witches):

The setup:
🌟-Sigils placed under your mattress for pain-free rest and anything else you need!
🌟-Place crystals under your pillow (or in the case) for restful sleep or a specific use. I often place amethyst and Quartz under my pillow for headaches!
🌟-Hang herb sachets above your bed.
🌟-Keep any supplies you want nearby in case you become bedridden.

Bedridden witchy things:
🌸-Play with spare bits of energy in the room.
🌸-Listen to music that makes you feel witchy/powerful.
🌸-Wash your face with a pre-prepared cleansing spray (add herbs and such).
🌸-If possible, open a window for at least five minutes and soak in the sensations of the outside world.
🌸-Read a witchy book/write in your grimoire.
🌸-Hold your crystals or keep them near you.
🌸-Washing your sheets/blankets/pillow case = the ultimate cleanse.
🌸-Meditate and work on breathing.
🌸-Spend some time with your tarot cards or pendulum (you don’t have to use them though!).
🌸-Do some dream magick.
🌸-Drink some herbal tea.

Remember, your witchiness isn’t based on your ability to practice all the time. It’s perfectly acceptable to take as long as you need when you aren’t feeling great.

(This is okay for everyone to reblog and use btw.)