no scratch that i feel like this has always been relevant

Google Salutes the Birth of Hip Hop with Interactive Doodle

Google is celebrating the 44th anniversary of hip-hop today with an interactive doodle on its homepage. Kool Herc’s party at 1520 Sedgwick Avenue in the Bronx 44 years ago is cited as the crystallization of influences that became known as hip-hop. Google’s keyword team spoke with Kevin Burke, Ryan Germick Perla Campos who are behind the doodle. They also worked with hip-hop legends Fab 5 Freddy who was the first host of Yo! MTV Raps and Def Jam logo creator and visual artist Cey Adams. Check out their story behind the doodle,

Keyword: How did you come up with the idea for this Doodle?

Kevin: I’m a huge Hip Hop fan. Growing up outside New Orleans, it was a part of my DNA-performing Hip Hop in my high school band, adding Hip Hop to my college radio station’s rotation, and working on the set of Outkast’s “Ms. Jackson” music video in my first job out of college. Hip Hop has been a constant thread through my life and I wanted to bring my love of it to a Doodle. I developed the concept for interactive turntables, showed it to my manager Ryan (also a fan of Hip Hop), and he lost it. He said, “let’s make it tomorrow!”

OK, so people were into the idea. But Hip Hop is such a big topic. How did you decide what to focus on?

Perla: From the beginning, we were thinking big. I mean, Hip Hop touches so many parts of culture but a lot of people don’t know much about its origins. So, we anchored the Doodle to the birth of Hip Hop, and wanted to celebrate the people who pioneered the movement. We hope to give them the voice and the recognition they deserve, which is what Doodles are all about-shining light on times of history that maybe you didn’t know about. 

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Closing Time - TFCFansgive fic

This is the fic that I did for @curlyhairedneil through @tfcfansgive. Hopefully this turned out alright!! I won’t lie, I really super struggled with the prompt, because we all know I’m not one for fluff writing, but this was… admittedly a lot of fun once I finally figured out where I wanted the story to go.

————

Neil doesn’t know what to do on a snow day. Not that he considers this much of one. There’s barely a dusting on the ground, hardly enough to even call it snow. It’ll be gone by tomorrow morning, if not later this evening. He doesn’t get it. Classes – canceled. The whole school – shut down. Even Wymack, the betrayer, had called off Exy practice for the day. It’s not that Neil doesn’t get that, regionally, this is a lot of snow. It’s not even an inch, but to people who live here, who make a home in the south east, this is an abomination. Neil’s been here for three years – has called himself a Fox for three years, holy shit – and they’ve never called a snow day before. It’s unprecedented.

And yet all Neil can see when he looks out the dorm window is a lack of ice and perfect running conditions.

“We’re not going out there,” Andrew says from his spot on one of the bean bags. Kevin is at his desk doing homework. He’s been grumbling for the past fifteen minutes about stubborn coaches and unreasonable fathers. Apparently, not even Kevin could win Wymack over. The court is closed to them.

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anonymous asked:

Request! How would the RFA react to an MC that looks delicate innocent and all that, but then shES A TOTAL MEMESTER *dabs* AND SWEARS LIKE A SAILOR 24/7

lololol this is so me except I’m neither delicate nor innocent looking I’m just abnormally quiet but look I will swear just to put emphasis on other swear words ok

also pretend that in the chats, MC acts ‘normally’ I guess, since she wanted to make a good impression. But now that she’s gotten more comfortable with the RFA, it’s time to let loose. 

also also sorry not sorry for my cringey memeing

also also also (really sorry) I think swearing like a sailor and knowing good insults are part of the same package so…tah

-Sevensity


Yoosung:

  • AW BABY
  • at first, he thinks you’re an actual angel
  • you’re sweet, and pure, and so incredibly precious, you’re probably the most gent-
  • “Ay it’s my bitch- I mean boy, Yoosung!”
  • Did she…did she just call me her bitch?
  • not that he really minds though whoops 
  • This boy is s hOOK
  • When he grew up, he was the kid that thought “heck” was a terrible word
  • and now the love of his life just said the big ‘b’ word/?//???
  • MC the boy will cry actually he’s kinda scared that his mom is going to jump out from beneath a table holding a bible
  • Without realizing it, he’ll cover your mouth with his hand to ‘prevent’ you from saying any other bad words
  • then he realizes what he’s done and just sort of goes ah I hate myself
  • proceeds to curl up into a ball of solid misery
  • you: ಠ_ಠ
  • telling him memes just freaks him the fuck out because who is this person????
  • Yoosung hates surprises tbh
  • He calms down a bit once you revert to your chat room self, but this is only to lessen the blow, and you’ll gradually release your own beast all in due time
  • he’s fine with memes, not fine with swearing
  • but seriously when you guys live together he has a heart attack every time you stub your toe because you just yell profanities at the top of your lungs
  • “HOLY JESUS SWEET MOTHERFUCKER ” 
  • “o h  f O R THE LOVE OF SATAN’S FIERY BALLSACK10/10 for creativity
  • your neighbors are like uhm is she ok I don’t think she’s ok
  • meanwhile Yoosung is sobbing on the floor
  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Zen:

  • Actually with Zen, it’s a little while before you openly started to swear and meme-out in front of him, since you are a bit afraid of his fans’ reactions
  • But at some point, Zen is acting with a really shitty excuse of a human being
  • This guy has some sort of god-complex (also he wears khaki pants and keeps screaming about death and ruling the world) which just makes you want him in his pretty face
  • As they wrap up a scene, he begins to complain about everything that went ‘wrong’, and proceeds to storm away after his tantrum
  • He shoves people out of the way, and Zen tugs you to the side before the shit kid can touch you
  • But you can’t keep your cool, and just-
  • “Woah excUSE me, fucking douche canoe coming through.”
  • You feel Zen’s fingers just freeze around your arm
  • Did those words really come out of your sweet little mouth? 
  • Starts to wonder how else your mouth can amaze him *wink wonk* jfc this kinky piece of shit is too much for me
  • Basically after that incident, you don’t hold back anymore
  • Although Zen doesn’t get used to it for a while after-all your words and appearance are so completely different, he secretly loves it when you swear
  • Especially when you mention body parts 
  • Specifically when you mention his body parts
  • He thinks he could handle any other surprise you throw at him
  • You prove him wrong during an RFA get-together one day, where you all go to visit Jaehee’s cafe together since she just began to sell new things I like to believe they have their happy endings no matter what route you choose see sometimes I can be optimistic
  • You buy one of the fresh baguettes, eye it for a moment, then your tongue darts out and-
  • “Babe, just what are you doing?” you hear Zen’s concerned voice
  • Everyone is looking at you
  • Meekly, you reply “I lik the bred.”
  • Seven doubles up in laughter, since he’s basically the only one who gets it this nerd
  • Zen thinks you’re ill
  • You have to explain to him that it’s from a meme, and horror dawns on his face
  • “I’m dating a female version of Seven.”
  • But it’s fine, he loves you anyways, and insists you teach him about the world of memes so he can try to understand your references
  • Though it’s like teaching the average mom how to use a computer
  • No matter how many times you explain, he just doesn’t get it

Jaehee:

  • Ok first off lemme just say rip Baehee
  • When she sees you for the first time, she is glad to see how sweet you look; your tender smile and innocent eyes wash away her stress and fatigue
  • That is, until you promptly grab her hand and say, “Damn, I’ve really hooked myself one bitchin’ fine-ass lady.”
  • Excuse me w h a t???????
  • Jaehee is physically unable to process what you just said
  • MC is that really you?!?!?!
  • “Jumin can really be a such dickhead sometimes. I’ve always wanted to say that to you,” you continue, scratching your head.
  • good job MC you just done gone and b r o k e the bae
  • How can someone so innocent-looking have such a foul vocabulary?
  • She thought the swearing was shocking enough
  • But boy was she not prepared for the memes
  • As soon as you two spot Seven, you just proceed to dab the fuck out and narrowly miss hitting Jaehee square in the face with your hand
  • oh no, she thinks
  • Seven reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few HB chips
  • seems like Dat Boi stashed a bag in big suit
  • “Bröther may i have some öats?” you say
  • on nO, she thinks again
  • “Sorry bröther, I’ve already begun eating the öats.”
  • “I have very few öats bröther, I must procure yours.”
  • Oh NO JUST WHAT DID I SIGN UP FOR??
  • Jaehee promptly collapses from the shock and let’s just say that it takes a while for her to recover 
  • She has you limit your swearing to when you’re alone together, if at all possible
  • But she cannot hold back your occasional meme streams while working at the coffee shop

Jumin:

  • When Jumin first hears you swearing, a puzzled look flashes across his face, but there’s no grand reaction
  • He just accepts it as part of who you are, and thinks it’s an interesting part of ‘commoner language’
  • There’s a business meeting with some dudes whom you despise, mostly because of their lewd comments directed towards you, which Jumin merely brushes away
  • You walk up to your babe during a break
  • “That guy is an absolute fucking asshole, it’s a pity that you have to do business with such an obnoxious smelly ballsack.”
  • “Um princess he’s still here.”
  • said obnoxious smelly ballsack is fuming, starts cussing right back at you
  • You summon up all your hate for him and hiss “Cash me outside, howbow dah?”
  • Everyone in the room: ?????????
  • “MC what language was that just now?”
  • “The language of memes.”
  • *asks Seven what this language is*
  • "Can you please teach me how to speak it?”
  • Jumin’s very first meme, hear me out, is not about his gayness
  • It’s the heavy breathing cat
  • and oh my god does he spam it
  • So much that Zen just basically stops taking part in any chat that involves Jumin
  • The Memeing Ways Part 2: How to Keep a Meme Relevant by Saeyoung Choi
  • and actually, surprisingly enough, Jumin also becomes a memer
  • also becomes a meme himself


Seven:

  • Apart from the mutual memeing in the chats, Seven considered you to be more of a demure, down-to-fuck earth kind of girl, and this idea was only strengthened when he saw your sweet looking face
  • As soon as you spot the tomato in the crowd at the RFA party, you dart over to his side and say
  • “Well just fucking bend me over sideways and fuck me twice there are so many people?!”
  • Seven blinks at you
  • A slow grin spreads across his face as he realizes o h he’s been deceived
  • *pretends to be shot in the chest*
  • “Hmmmmmm watcha saayyy,” you sing, slowly backing away
  • Seven is gonna die he loves you so much???? like what she’s also into memes????
  • Adores your cussing, and y’all nerds start to make up your own insults, even if they really don’t make any sense to other people
  • His personal favorites are “white crayola” and “factory edition Vanderwood″
  • You guys order your very own none pizza with left beef, but it tastes to bad
  • #firstworldproblems
  • You start making memes of each other
  • MEMES ALL DAY EVERY DAY
  • NEED I REALLY SAY MORE? ? ???
Opportunity

Pairing: Jared x Reader

Word Count: 5.6k (haha whoops)

Warnings: Ridiculous amount of cussing (usual in my writings), OC’s, minor humour, size!kink, hip!kink, nail scratching, hair!kink, dirty talk, sweet, sweet passionate smut.

Summary: You win a competition to film on the set of Supernatural and meet your idols. During your first day on set, you notice not only that Jared Padalecki has been eyeing you, but discover the fandom’s biggest headcanon on him in the bedroom is true.

A/N: This is entirely written in first person BUT it is still technically a reader insert, just a different format. For the purpose of this fic, Jared is single. Obviously no hate on Gen, it is fiction for entertainment purposes only. This was written and posted within hours, so all grammatical and spelling errors are my own. I apologise if there is a slight switch between tense, I was tired and in a rush to get all my thoughts on screen and posted that I wasn’t too stressed. It’s fanfiction, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Anyway, please enjoy. Feedback is appreciated.


Originally posted by carryon--my--wayward--butt

Beep beep beep beep beep.

“For fuck sakes,” I groaned, slamming my forefinger on the ‘stop’ on my phone to silence the alarm. I closed my eyes for a few more seconds, already knowing my phone was about to buzz yet again with a second alarm. My sensible self knows how much I like to sleep in. My sleepy self wants to fucking punch my sensible self for being so… sensible.

After silencing the second alarm, I stretched and rubbed my eyes, already reaching back for my phone to browse my social media like I do every fucking morning because I like to ignore my daily responsibilities and shove my eyeballs onto a screen to pretend like my life is interesting.

I go through all of my notifications, none of them worth really looking at, and begin to scroll down my Facebook page. I stop suddenly when I see Jared Padalecki’s latest post, my eyes catching the photo of Jensen, Misha and himself holding up a sign that read ‘WE WANT YOU!’

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Thieves Among Us (Part 4)

Let Jon have his armies and his devoted wildlings and the love of their people, she thinks. Let him have his dragon queen. She’s in possession of a secret, tragic as it may be, but at least it’s entirely her own. For Sansa, that’s more than enough. It has to be. Rated M; inspired by content from S7. Previous chapters can be found here.

A huge thanks to @alittlestardustcaught for beta reading this chapter!


We used to play in the godswood together when we were children, me and you and Robb and Theon. You remember that, don’t you?

Jon stared at the ancient face carved into the heart tree. That was what Sansa had asked him when they had been in the broken tower, when the tension in that small room had been thick enough to taste on his tongue. There she was, looking out towards the godswood with her back facing him, her body a tense line, her voice soft and wistful. It wasn’t enough to fool him—Jon knew that she was barely holding herself together, but he couldn’t undo what had been done. Worse, he didn’t what she was referring to—not then, not now. It rang true, was the thing, authentic, and yet for the life of him he couldn’t conjure any memory whatsoever to fit with her words. All those moons ago, Jon had assumed that he’d been too wrapped up in his intentions to think about anything else other than what he had to do, what he had to end, but lately his perceptions had altered. More and more, he realized that there were other things he couldn’t remember, a dark space in his consciousness where something ought to have been, but no longer was. It left him feeling unsettled and out-of-touch, but he had yet to mention it to anybody. Jon wanted to change that.

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dan and phil play my horse prince #3: a summary

two seconds in and already a questionable horse impression okay time to strap in for another weird one 

“i knew you were going to start clopping" 

clopping??? klopping???? clopping looks better so i’m going with that 

"cloppity clop when will we stop…. is the question many of you have been asking” aw they saw my tweets 

dan licked his lips as he looked over to phil SAME 

he is wearing the ladybird jumper so i agree 

remember the ladybird jumper selfie??? let’s take a moment 

okay back to the video 

it was a nice moment of remembrance though right 

anyway 

“i like a good divisive series" 

"this is our great youtube controversy, phil" 

those people that are uncomfortable, it’s legit the same level of sexual tension dnp have on a regular basis just in the form of a girl and horse like,,, it’s 2017 the hat/cherry/lung/milk/kitten/whatever else fic exists there are more disturbing things out there

they’re validating those of you though, good for you i’m happy for your notices

"it’s not literal bestiality” // “it’s just a lol” “a nice little lol… just a casual lol" 

"i think we should do this one and see how we feel” i mean finally putting that positions book to good use 

there’s not much eye contact so far are they okay 

i think recently we’ve been spoilt with eye contact and now we’re feeling like something’s wrong because they’re not gawking at each other 

“so whether you want to or not, strap yourselves in for ten minutes of erotic equine roleplay”

phil demonstrating that sweet sweet hand porn 

“i don’t think we should’ve encouraged you with the fanart” story of your life innit lads 

congrats to those phanartists that got noticed!! you’re very talented and i appreciate you!!! 

i appreciate the last one which highlights the shaved sides i liked that a lot ty

“the less we talk about that the better” legit the phandom about 2012 

dan’s reaction to the fanart,,, get those screenshots 

“keep it coming…. or don’t, it’s up to you” phil pls you’re making it too easy for me 

“do you need to do that though?” // “i do, it’s a thing now” living for the little domestic i feel deprived 

“dog. dog has a moustache." 

"phil that makes no sense” as if u never make any mistakes howell phil’s waiting to call you out like the absolute savage that he is 

remember the thomas the tank engine fuck-up, phil was right on that 

phil’s laugh my ears are blessed 

they have two very different reactions to a horse making breakfast 

i found another of dan’s kinks who’s keeping tabs on them all we’ve got another to add to the list 

“what’s a good… lad? one that makes breakfast, the morning after” is that a subtle wink wink nudge nudge, daniel 

“i’m hyped. this, this is, this is a soap.” dan is so excited he’s tripping on his words 

he’s staring at phil okay world order has been restored 

“you know you love it, stop lying to yourself” // “you love it. just thumbs it up anyway, if you don’t like it" 

i love the detailed hair angles we get when they both look down on the screen i appreciate it a lot 

do you think phil will ever ditch the straighteners 

"that’s really posh” phil the savage already getting his revenge

congrats hp stans for phil dropping that reference 

did they just compare all of our mums to a horse 

“anyone that exudes glitter and makes sure that you’re resting on the weekend… that’s who you need in your life" 

"maybe susankun’s on the crunchy nut like us” i bet you both are 

maybe see a doctor about that 

i’m not sorry 

“am i the dog? i think i’m the dog” phil says after barking and effectively claiming the role of the dog 

“you just frickin volunteered” dan the savage 

“that was some good borks” so any excuse to compliment phil huh

“what is this video” me every time i read these summaries before posting them, i relate phil 

“some good pottery" 

"unless this is a magnetic knife, how is the horse holding it? with that horse thumb he’s just gonna grow?" 

dan demonstrates the claw technique 

look at that hand movement fluidity this ain’t his first rodeo 

dan… are u ok…. you’ve just been in this position for four seconds… 

turned into seven seconds, the longest seven seconds of my life…. is it one of the new 7sc they tweeted out for

“can i stroke him?” // “i’ll give him a stroke”

lanky emo lads fawn over hairbrush functions

that sounded like a weird porn didn’t it oh god no

“look at this roleplay, we nintendogs now”

“oh yeah, feel my brush” 

dan gives that side-eye, he doesn’t like phil saying that to anyone else

the singing quota for this video has been filled

thought they were going to give us a sweet harmony for don’t speak and do no doubt proud but nope dan decides to parody it

this is not the harmony i wanted stop singing a weird cult theme or whatever the fuck it is

leek or spring onion will we ever know

phil is intent on killing simulations recently is he ok

“sorry guys” dan is on hand to comfort us

may need to rethink some comfort fic prompts i have

“is it okay? is anything about this okay?” if the existential crisis branding was still relevant he’d be on the floor rn

“shall we have a chat? a little horsey chinwag?” yes phil come back to your northern roots i’ve missed you

“a really long-faced chinwag” you tried dan but you will always be a southerner you can’t pull off chinwag

“is a carrot a fruit?” mister university asking the real question

is dan actually googling it

“AHA it was to catch us out for being an idiot!” i mean, you googled it so…. aren’t you still an idiot

phil is an orange kinda guy, dan is a grapefruit kinda guy…… explains a lot if you think about it

“he hates me again!” // “i can’t believe he hates me again, straight away…” pretty sure i’ve read that exact line of dialogue in a fic before

“what can i say? i’m more in tune with my inner…. horse… man”

casual head scratch as he silently prays for nobody to pick up on that quote

“deep fry anything, and that’s a winner”

“the choices hurt me so bad”

trying to justify this game just falls flat

no amount of meaningful speeches are rectifying it dan

but it’s not stopping him trying

oh he’s stopped now

“i think we should get our things back”

“this is our life” enjoy u demons

“great. i love my life” phil i just don’t even know what to say stop looking like you’re showing a lemon a good time 

take out the lemon and stare at your wavy haired companion

if i used that line in a fic would you disown me

what kind of accent did dan just try to say field in because he sounded like me

“a horse can’t go on rollercoasters is what i’m thinking” // “can a horse go to the cinema?” “no, he’s going to get in the way of everyone’s screen” wow dan and phil, damperers of horse dreams since their corresponding years of birth

“yes, dan’s credit card is about to spend more money on this horse app” of course it’s dan that volunteers his card, phil would never 

he’s the voice of emo goose he only spends money on luxury apps

mister moneybags high brands stan has no problem forking it out tho good for you son get some

“i am this entire developer’s number one supporter” me when dapg was announced

the frenzy time music is something special

“phil you’re doing the impossible quiz again and that is like ten out of ten banned” younger kirsten is crying

phil’s real laugh comes out to play again welcome back old friend i love you

“is she falling in love with the dog? is that what we’re asking?”

phil’s voice is like monotone throughout all of these videos he couldn’t give less of a shit

he’s just humouring dan’s kink(s)

dan stop criticising phil’s horse voice you can’t have it all for yourself all of the time we need as much of it as you do

“i am ready for this” me whenever they upload on a day that’s not the same day i’m posting a fic

there are very different theories about the multitude of onions

again phil’s includes death

i’m beginning to expect it

“oh he’s gone a bit sassy”

“passive aggressive…. okay” dan we feel the same way when we found out phil’s sent a dm

“i feel it coming…. i feel it coming… are you ready? am i ready?”

“that’s just dreamy. i’m in love with that” // “that is dreamy. i’d like that as a poster in my bathroom” 

“that is the thickest spring onion i have ever seen in my entire life” // “it’d take a lot of gnashing” phil demonstrates said gnashing thank you for showing those teggies

“look at the girth on that one” you know what you did dan don’t blame us when the fics come rolling in

the onion fic

“how do you not love this? people, i mean come on, this is better than the current season of the walking dead”

uncomfortable fidgeting as dan realises he’s pissed off hundreds of thousands of people

staring at phil again yes i’m living

“this is better than the wire” phil doesn’t want to leave dan all alone in the opinion firing line

“it’s turning into that cake outtake from tatinof” HOW DARE YOU.

feeling less guilty having watched it now u fuckers

“it’s literally the cake situation”

seriously i’m going to watch it again just to spite you both

“imagine a horse pushing you against a wall and force-feeding you spring onions” dan i love you but i’m going to have to reject this prompt

the game turns sinister and they both look the most excited they’ve looked for the entire video

“this is fulfilling every kink that our audience might have” in which dan tries to push his weird kinks onto us out of fear phil will judge him

“is the next one set in the afterlife?”

“i feel like i went to a place i didn’t think i was going to”

“so real talk, let’s get real” phil i like that you’re trying to get close to the camera but you’re still too far away it’s not doing what you think it’s doing

“if you don’t want us to do this ever again…” “what’s wrong with you” honestly dan same

they’re literally encouraging thumbs down??? how long have they been in the youtube game???

“tell us your opinions down there” oh dear god they’re encouraging the fanfiction

“if you want the horse, we want to give you the horse. you know what we’re saying?” 

it’s hard to quote when they’re both talking at the same time BE POLITE AND LET EACH OTHER SPEAK 

“this is a two way relationship…” why did phil’s smile grow when dan said that

“slice our subscribe button like a spring onion” // “please don’t stab your laptop and/or mobile device” // “trot over to our other channels”

danisnotchoking (but he wants to be)

AmazingSpringOnion

PSOTM: Gabe/Stephen, Jake/David; misunderstanding

For the prompt:  Someone from one of the other stories in the ‘verse finding out about Jake and David

So much of Gabe&Jake stuff centres around the Jays, but it has become an official bro-date for the two of them, and has been at least semi-official since they were in Juniors. 

Feat. Gabe and Stephen FINALLY talking the Jake thing out.

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ICHF Key Concepts: The Four Horrors

I’ve been writing Iconic Characters of Horror Fiction articles for over a year to a modest amount of success, and in that time I’ve covered a lot of strange territory - both in the number of different characters I’ve written about, and in the number of weird personal theories about them and the horror genre in general that I’ve shared in the process.  While I feel I’ve barely scratched the surface of what I want to do with this series, I have come to the point where I feel some of those weird theories need their own article.  So allow me to present to you the first ICHF Key Concept article!  And what better to start off with than my moderately popular genre taxonomy: the Four Horrors.

When it comes to Academic literary criticism, the horror genre is mostly uncharted territory.  I was fortunate to have a college that offered two courses on horror literature - I mean, they both focused almost exclusively on British horror literature that was published before the 20th century, but y'know, baby steps and progress and all that.  One of the things I was surprised to learn in those courses was that, as far as literary critics are concerned, there is no distinction between Gothic Horror and Horror in general - all horror is gothic, apparently.  As an amateur scholar of horror stories, I felt that was INCREDIBLY wrong, and so I began working on a more accurate description of the horror genre - one that allows for more diversity.  One that recognizes multiple modes of horror.  A taxonomy, if you will.

I ultimately settled on dividing Horror into four main subgenres, each of which can be divided into even more subgenres on top of that.  Let’s find out more about them, shall we?

Gothic Horror

We’ll start with the only officially recognized horror genre, the Gothic.  Part of the reason I protest it as the ONLY form of horror is that, according to literary critics, it’s a very narrowly defined genre - one that cannot contain all the horror stories we’ve come up with in our history.

Gothic Horror demonizes the old, primitive, and ancient parts of our history.  The horror in a Gothic story comes from the past - a crime committed in the olden days, or an ancient evil that has survived despite the passing of time.  In Gothic horror stories, evil is something that humanity has to grow out of - it its destroyed by progress and discovery.

Monsters in Gothic Horror stories tend to be either undead creatures (like ghosts, zombies, vampires, etc.), mythological monsters (dragons, sphinxes, etc.), or humans that are turned into a more “primitive” creature (Mr. Hyde, Werewolves, etc.).  Decay and degeneration are the main tools of Gothic Horror - the audiences is presented with vivid images of rotting bodies, both literal and metaphorical.  Evil is defeated in Gothic horror stories by uncovering the truth and civilizing the old world - society must progress to keep the dead wickedness of the past buried.

Some of the subgenres of Gothic Horror include Ghost Stories (where the spirit of a deceased person must be put to rest by discovering the horror that killed them in the past), Vampire Fiction (stories with vampires in them), and the Imperial Gothic.  The later is particularly interesting to me and relevant to my Four Horrors concept, as the Imperial Gothic is sort of the bridge between Gothic Horror and the other three horror genres.  You see, while the Imperial Gothic still claims that horror is rooted in the past, it adds on the idea that said horror is being brought back to the present BECAUSE our “progress” in the present is, in fact, a barbaric retread of our ancestors’ mistakes.  It claims that modern man is backsliding, and the old defeated horrors of yesteryear will roam free as a result.  Other horror stories will take the genre even further from there.

Detective Fiction also has its roots in Gothic Horror stories, but whether it still counts as a horror genre or evolved into its own animal altogether is debatable.  I personally wouldn’t count most detective tales as horror stories, but it’s interesting to note their connection.

Examples of Gothic Horror Stories: The Castle of Otranto, Frankenstein, Dracula, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, “The Yellow Wallpaper,” “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”

Cosmic Horror

Cosmic Horror was the first horror genre to split off from the Gothic entirely (in this little concept of mine, which is not law).  In many ways, it seems similar to its parent.  Heroes in Cosmic Horror stories often try to uncover the truth behind a supernatural mystery, and it often involves exploring some horrifying and primitive relics of the past.  However, while uncovering the truth solves things in a Gothic horror tale, it only makes things worse in a Cosmic Horror story.

Cosmic Horror does not demonize the past.  Instead, it demonizes existence itself.  The universe is a cold, uncaring place that is beyond human comprehension, and as such it is also beyond caring for humanity.  Evil is rooted in the very fabric of reality, and built into the utter apathy and indifference our world has for us.  Madness, confusion, and miscomprehension are the main tools of these stories - our ability to see the world around us and not understand the meaning of it keeps the reader ill at ease, especially when that world grows increasingly awful and terrifying.

The main monster of a Cosmic Horror story is the… *sigh* eldritch abomination, whose good name as an archetype has been sullied by people applying it to any and all monsters.  At one point, though, eldritch abomination was a phrase that meant something - specifically, a “monster” whose anatomy and nature cannot truly be comprehended by human minds, one who is almost thoughtlessly destructive simply because we are utterly insignificant to it.

We’re probably going to need a new word for that archetype soon, since people seem to love calling any and all monsters that are even remotely strange “eldritch abominations” these days.

Cosmic horror stories rarely offer their heroes a way out - if one does manage to defeat the evil, it is always temporary, and the hero is generally scarred beyond repair by the experience if they survive at all.  One is only safe from the horror if one is ignorant of it - and even then, “safe” only lasts as long as the horror remains ignorant of us as well.

Examples of Cosmic Horror Stories: The Cthulhu Mythos stories, most Slender Man stories, Burrgrr, Awful Hospital, Hellstar Remina, Uzumaki, The Thing

Atomic Horror

When the Imperial Gothic Horror genre suggested that our progress may be unleashing the horrors of the past, it laid the seeds for the third main horror genre to blossom.  Atomic Horror takes things a step further by suggesting our progress will make its own evils - evils the likes of which humanity could never have experienced in the past, for they could only be made by unleashing the newfound powers of modern technology.

In other words, evil is rooted in the present/future in an Atomic Horror story, rather than in the past like in a Gothic tale.  Many Atomic Horror stories try to temper this aspect of their genre by emphasizing that progress is only bad when it is unchecked and uncontrolled - while scientists may make a monster, they can also be the ones to find a way to stop it.  The progress in question doesn’t have to be scientific, either - industrial development schemes or military campaigns are just as likely to create a monster in Atomic Horror as a mad scientist’s experiments.

There are (at least) four main monster archetypes in Atomic Horror stories: the Prehistoric Monster (creatures from the past that are taken out of their rightful time and place by humanity - an archetype that Atomic Horror took from Gothic Horror stories and made its own), the Mutant (a creature that is made by humanity meddling with nature), the Robot (a machine that can operate without human assistance, often with deadly purposes), and the Alien (a creature from another world - often acting as a dark mirror of humanity, showing us how awful we could end up if we don’t change our ways).  Mutation and dissection are the main tools of Atomic Horror stories - we are horrified to find that our “progress” requires us to destroy the current world to build an awful new one in its place.

To stop evil in an Atomic Horror story, one has to change the way humanity is progressing - either stopping the progress itself, changing its direction, or simply reining it in a bit.  We have to rethink what we are doing and consider the effects we have on the world we run - or else the end will always have a question mark.

Two of the subgenres within Atomic Horror include the Alien Invasion Genre, where monsters from outer space invade earth with superior technology, and the Kaiju Genre, where humanity is attacked by a literally gargantuan monster because of our violation of the natural order.  Kaiju stories sometimes leave the horror genre altogether, but I personally think most still stay within its boundaries.

Examples of Atomic Horror Stories: Godzilla, Them!, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, The War of the Worlds (1953 film), The Blob, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Fly


Slasher Horror

Finally, we have Slasher Horror.  Born out of the exploitation films of the 70’s an 80’s, Slasher Horror doesn’t focus on the past or the future very much.  While it shares an existential dread with Cosmic Horror, it looks inward for evil rather than outward.  It’s not the universe that is evil, necessarily, but rather humanity itself.  Something in the human condition is sick, twisted, and, with rare exception, predisposed to wickedness.  Slasher Horror holds one thing as true: humanity needs to be punished, and oh how cathartic it is to watch that punishment unfold.

Slasher horror demonizes humanity itself, and it does so by presenting a cast of almost completely unlikeable and one dimensional characters.  Humans aren’t necessarily moustache-twirlingly evil in Slasher stories, but they are selfish to a ludicrous extent.  They ignore drowning children, have sex even as their friends are being slaughtered in the next room, and rarely trade words with each other that aren’t petty insults.  When a character is introduced in a Slasher story, they are almost certainly designed to make you desire their death.

However, there is generally an attempt at making an exception to this rule in most Slasher stories.  You will normally find at least one character who is unique in that they care about other people and, y'know, aren’t shitty human beings.  This is your hero, and they have the enviable task of stepping over a very low bar to become the least wretched person in your story.

“Monsters” are rare in slasher stories, as most tend to go for an anonymous killer instead - some ominous masked man who picks off the other awful people one by one, often in increasingly preposterous ways.  When one of these killers survives long enough, they may gain an identity - and since this tends to involve surviving several definitely lethal injuries, they often become undead monsters as well.

The main tool of the slasher movie is gore.  Splattering organs, buckets of blood, and impossible wounds are the gross out of choice, and often play less like horrifying scenes and more like money shots in a porno.  Slasher Horror is all about catharsis - while other stories may want to horrify you, Slasher tales let you indulge your darker desires for a time.

Evil is defeated in a slasher movie when the hero loses almost everything and, in desperation, finally snaps and raises a hand against the awful nature of humanity - in a literal fashion, i.e. by killing the slasher.  This violent act may also be why few heroes in Slasher stories survive coming back for a sequel - by killing the slasher, they have become another wicked person who selfishly put their own life above others.

Examples of Slasher Horror Stories: The Halloween series, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series, Friday the 13th series, the A Nightmare on Elm Street series, the Saw series, Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon, the Scream series

The Axis of the Four Horrors

skeletonphonic was the first to make an axis out of my four horror genres, so credits go to him for the idea for this visual.

If you look at my four horror genres, you can see that there are two pairs of apparent opposites.  Gothic Horror vilifies the past, while Atomic Horror villifies the future.  Cosmic Horror claims the universe is evil, while Slasher Horror claims evil is inherent to humanity itself.  We could use this axis to try and force existing horror stories into one of these four genres - for example, the more a story vilifies humanity, the more Slasher it is.  Simple, right?

Well… no.  See, these pairs aren’t actually opposites.  A story can vilify the past AND the present - hell, that’s basically what the Imperial Gothic does.  Likewise, humanity being evil doesn’t necessarily mean that the universe itself isn’t evil too.  A horror story could hit all four points on the axis.

If one were to graph horror stories on this axis, I think it would be smart not to do it with a simple point.  Instead, show how far a given story stretches in each direction - some may lie firmly in one direction, while others may stretch into two, or three, or even all four.  It could be an interesting experiment for more mathematically included horror scholars than myself to try.

Problems with the Four Horrors

While I obviously like this little division of the horror genres, and have found it very useful in my writing about Horror in general, I can’t say it’s flawless.  It’s mostly based on Western literature, specifically English language literature, and as such there are A LOT of horror stories out there that could theoretically not fit anywhere on this axis.  That’s a major problem that I can’t address entirely on my own - even a glutton like myself could never read every horror story ever made, or even MOST of the horror stories ever made.

Academics might also argue that my division is forced.  A lot of Slasher and Cosmic Horror stories have an evil of the past as part of their story - the murder of Jason Voorhees, the ancient cult of Cthulhu, etc.  We could force them into the Gothic, and then kick Atomic Horror stories out of the Horror genre and into Science Fiction (which a lot of critics do).  I think that’s too simplistic, but y'know, I’m not God.  I’m just a weirdo who thinks too much about horror stories.

There are other taxonomies as well.  Some have divided horror into Supernatural and Radcliffian tales - Supernatural Horror has a horror that is, obviously, supernatural, while Radcliffian Horror reveals that the horror was man-made all along (think Scooby Doo).  Others have divided Horror into Thrillers and Creature Features - Thrillers involve a mundane, realistic threat, while Creature Features have monsters in them.  Or we could divide horror between its two sibling genres, Sci-Fi and Fantasy - Sci-Fi Horror, Fantasy Horror, and Mundane Horror for those tales that don’t have a supernatural element.  There are probably a billion ways we can divide the genre.

But the Four Horrors work for me, and they’ve helped form ICHF into what it is.  They won’t be leaving this blog any time soon.

(For those interested in the little mascots I made for this essay, here are their names: Count Gothic, Cthon Cosmic, Doctor Atomic, and Sam Slasher.)

Knee Jerk Reaction

Pairing: Finn Balor x original character

Summary: I was confident in my saying that I truly deserved this promotion, but if by some chance I didn’t get it, there was always next time. (No there wasn’t.)

Tags: @neversatisfiedgirl @lauraundeadmoon @ambrosegirlforever @blondekel77 @wrestlingnoob @deseraysmiththings @motleymoose

The sounds of a stack of paper being bounced off the table echo loudly throughout the conference room. With any luck, the announcement about who would be getting the promotion would be made during this meeting I had poured hours upon days upon months into my work life, and I was hopeful that it wouldn’t be all for naught. I was confident in my saying that I truly deserved this promotion, but if by some chance I didn’t get it, there was always next time.

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Welcome to Night Vale

Year One

(concerning the rips in reality and Huntokar)

1 - Pilot

  • A commercial airliner flying through local airspace disappeared today, only to reappear in the Night Vale Elementary gymnasium… before it could strike any players or structure, it vanished again. This time, apparently, for good. (obviously, current problem with the rips in reality)
  • Lights. Seen in the sky above the Arby’s…we’ve caught on to their game. We understand the “lights above Arby’s” game.Invaders from another world.Ladies and gentlemen, the future is here, and it’s about 100 feet above the Arby’s.
  • (also noteworthy - a bowling ball once fell into Mini Vale. Poor town probably got wrecked.)

2 - Glowcloud

  • Sorry, listeners. Not sure what happened in that earlier section of the broadcast – as in I actually don’t remember what happened. Tried to play back the tapes, but they’re all blank, and smell faintly of vanilla. (we know that some of cecil’s memories that he doesn’t remember are in fact from AUs but i’m not sure with this one, especially with the vanilla thing - i don’t think it was ever resolved? or was it the man in the tan jacket or somethin)

3 - Station Management

  • Our little town is lit, too, by lights just above that we cannot explain. 
  • Larry Leroy, out on the edge of town, reported that a Creeping Fear came into Night Vale today…  It did not affect Old Woman Josie, presumably because of her angelic protection … I myself was frozen, sure that any movement would lead to death; that any word would be my last.

4 - PTA Meeting

  • …a rift in space-time split open in the Main Street Recreation Center Auditorium, setting loose several confused and physically aggressive pteranodons. 
  • Several curious handball players in the court next to the auditorium actually popped their heads into the portal… aged several thousand years in what bystanders experienced as only a few seconds. Those handball players now straddle the unenviable border of millennially wizened and cripplingly insane. (i wonder if they know something about the recent reality rips?)
  • either prehistoric or alternate-universe Night Vale.
  • The creature’s lifeless body was found a dozen yards outside of the Dog Park entrance, stripped of all flesh, and with most of the organs inverted and strung around its exposed skull like an old fashioned soft meat crowns, as worn by the 18th century religious leaders who settled our fair burgh.
  • (iunno, might be huntokar? i mean what would tear a thing to shreds and make soft meat crowns out of its organs)

5 - The Shape in Grove Park

  • The moon’s weird though, right? It’s there, and there, and then suddenly it’s not. And it seems to be pretty far up. It is watching us? If not, what is it watching instead? Is there something more interesting than us? Hey, watch us moon! We may not always be the best show in the universe, but we try. (obviously, echoed by Mini Vale in The Missing Sky)

6 - The Drawbridge

  • [after a blackout] ….when the lights came back on, they felt that perhaps they were different people – their memories and identities were the same as always, but suddenly felt like costumes that didn’t fit exactly. As though it all were actually brand new to them. As though they had been switched out with someone who was exactly like them. As though all that was familiar would ever after be strange. 

7 - History Week

  • [prediction for year 2052:]  The City Council will reveal its true form and eat half of Night Vale’s population
  • Approval ratings for the mayor will hover in the low 40s…which will be surprising, as there will have been no mayor for over thirty years.
  • (ummm i dunno how long mayors are supposed to reign in Night Vale, but by 2022, there will be no more mayor? dana’s term started in 2015, so in 7 years there will no longer be a mayor. even if this has nothing to do with year 5 yet, i’m still worried)

8 - The Lights in Radon Canyon

  • [referring to Mini Vale] …every window of the city is now glowing both day and night. 
  • (the beginning of the Night Vale - Mini Vale war, i’m guessing. teddy williams started it or…?)
  • (also the lights in the canyon itself)

9 - PYRAMID

  • [message of the Pyramid:] “I will place within some of you questions. Within others, I will place answers. These questions and these answers will not always align. The questions I provide may have no answers, and the answers I provide may have no questions. I will study the effects of these questions, and these answers. Some of you will hurt others, and others will heal. Grow my seeds inside you, and let them flower.” 
  • (??????? I WANT TO BE GIVEN ANSWERS DUDE)

11 - Wheat and Wheat By-Products

  • idk if Apache Tracker suddenly turning Native American is reality-rip-worthy but
  • …Angels have gathered in a circle in her living room, blocking her view of the television. They are shoulder-to-shoulder, facing each other, radiant with holy light.“The Bowling Alley,” they are chanting. “The Bowling Alley.“

12 - The Candidate

  • the unholy voice of Old Scratch himself (idk who Old Scratch is but might be noteworthy)
  • [referring to noisy sunsets]… only Old Town residents have reported hearing these inconceivable noises

13 - A Story About You

  • …a vision came to you. You saw above you a planet, of awesome size, lit by no sun. An invisible titan, all thick black forests and jagged mountains and deep turbulent oceans. 
  • (note: You did NOT LIVE IN NIGHT VALE when they got this vision. They then drove to Night Vale afterwards, and even then found the town by accident)
  • You move wooden crates from one truck to another while a man in a suit silently watches. It is a different man each time. Sometimes the crates tick. Mostly, they do not.
  • [about the crate]  It’s warm, warmer than the air around it. It smells sharp and earthy, like freshly ground cinnamon. And when you put your ear against the rough warm wood, you hear a soft humming – an indistinct melody.
  • (while driving, You feels the Dark Planet Lit By No Sun again)
  • Apache Tracker’s warnings: 
    1 - You are in danger. 2 - They’re coming. 3-  They will come from below. Pies will not help.
  • (the crate has grown even warmer)
  • [about crate]  It pulses with some kind of life.
  • …pulls out of it an intricate miniature house…inside the house you think you see for a moment, lights and movement.
  • [about DPLBNS]: A monster. Spinning. Soundless. Forgotten. It’s so close now. You see it just above you. Maybe even if you tried very hard, you could touch it.

14 - The Man in the Tan Jacket

  • (first mention of Huntokar)
  • (assumption of a Child King ruling Mini Vale, but this is probably wrong….or very right. toss up)
  • (also, Teddy records footage from Mini Vale)
  • …the Angel said that the Man in the Tan Jacket with the deerskin suitcase was from a place underneath the earth.
  • (I AM GOING TO START SCREAMING)
  • (IS MINI VALE KING CITY??? IS KING CITY MINI VALE???? IS THIS WHY MITTJ WAS ABLE TO FIND NIGHT VALE BECAUSE HE WAS FROM AN ALTERNATE VERSION IN THE FIRST PLACE?)

16 - The Phone Call

  • (SSP telling everyone to prep for war, presumably against Mini Vale)
  • (also we are presented The List)

18 - The Traveler

  • (time traveler who wears a Desert Bluffs marching band uniform [which has not been worn since The Incident - presumably Strexcorp takeover; see Triptych] who presumably saved Night Vale many times before?)
  • Perhaps he has leaped again through the stream of time, or passed to an alternate dimension created by the changes he has made to our world.
  • nothing remained of The Traveler except for a pile of indescribable buttons from his uniform

19A and B (Night Vale and Desert Bluffs)

  • (larry leroy possibly already knew about doubles pre-sandstorm, but you know this probably isn’t relevant to year five)
  • (a vortex opened, leading cecil to DB and kevin to NV; i have no idea if the vortex was sanstorm-created or reality-rip thing. most likely a reality-rip thing because kevin has travelled to NV via vortex several times, and there was no sandstorm - see The Debate and The Investigators)

21 - A Memory of Europe

  • (Teddy Williams has created a 24/7 barricade around the entrance to Mini Vale)
  • I don’t remember having a traveling partner before or after Svitz. Who was he? Who knows? It all seemed perfectly normal at the time. (obviously not his brother Cal from 108; alt reality bleed or…?)
  • Eventually I was knocked out on one of our falls and when I awoke, it was in a different country. I had aged by years, and no one I talked to knew where the country of Svitz was, or even had heard of it. (def alt reality or something)
  • [Simone Rigadeau]:  The world ended three or four decades ago.  I don’t know what this thing is that we’re living in, but it’s not the world. Scientists won’t investigate it because they’re not real.
  • (LISTEN TO ME)
  • (IN EVERY ALTERNATE REALITY WE HAVE BEEN PRESENTED, THERE IS NO CARLOS AND THERE ARE NO SCIENTISTS)
  • (’SCIENTISTS ARE NOT REAL’)
  • (there’s a monster in Franchia)

24 - The Mayor

  • (Mini Vale residents presumably made the Desert Flower Boeling Alley’s jukebox continuously play Mister Brownstone. this ep has an ad for the Brownstone spire)

25 - One Year Later

  • (hhhgngngnpppffttt remember when cecil got carlos a trophy)
  • a commercial airliner appeared today inside the home of surprised Night Vale citizen Becky Canterbury
  • (i mean there’s so many things from this ep but basically, Mini Vale already was plotting a war against us and Teddy had set up a barricade against it; after this i guess Mini Vale just got full-scale destroyed, i think)
Ashes

Magnus forgets.

Inspired by this post by @umbraastaff​. Thanks for giving me permission to write this!

Also on AO3!


It’s a relatively early year in their long, long, long journey. It becomes hard for all of them to keep track of the exact year. Sardonically celebrating their “birthdays” gets old after a while - at least to Magnus. It always seemed to amuse Lup.

It’s on one of those cycles that Magnus returns to the ship, bouncing a club he’s made himself against his shoulder. It’s not a dangerous world. It’s a peaceful world, a utopia of scientific research… done entirely by tiny mice people. He just made the club because he was bored. Science wasn’t really his thing.

“Yo,” he says, to Lucretia, seated at the table. She’s surrounded by journals, pages and pages and pages. Stores of pens, used and unused, sit around her like an army of tiny sentries.

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Alternatively...

Sherlock was staring at him as though he was an idiot, and John wanted to scream.

It was too much. It was all too much. John could feel the tight ball in his chest tensing even more, to the point of it being painful. With each word he said, he could feel himself inching closer and closer to an explosion.

“She’s out there, she likes you, and she’s alive.” He was shaking. When did he start shaking? “Do you have the first idea how lucky you are?”

He wasn’t even upset to learn that Sherlock had deceived him into thinking Irene – the Woman – was dead. At this point, it was just another disappointment, another tiny, piercing lie to add to the pile of other piercing lies that had accumulated over the years. Lies told by Sherlock, by Mary. By John himself.

But he was upset that Sherlock was wasting the very opportunity John so desperately wanted. Although upset didn’t seem like the right word. Angry. Angry was good.

Furious was better.

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Writing theory in relation to the Check Please fandom

in regard of posts I’ve seen circulating lately, I just want to give some depths to the discussion around characters most used in fanfics. Bear in mind that this is not a way to take a stance in the debate, but merely a tool for people who think about the issue. 

The question at hand it: Is the CP fandom racist because it prioritises white characters over characters of color?

First, I want to redirect you to a post on Writing Theory and the different tiers of existing characters.  If you’re lazy, it’s okay, overall it says that characters come in tiers of importance to the story, and tier 1 gets all the characteristics, tier 2 gets 2, tier 3 gets 1, etc.

If we analyse Check Please characters, you have

The Main Character, which is Bitty. The story revolves around him, his coming of age, his doubts and fears and love, etc. His characteristics are: sweet, likes to bake, vlogs, used to be a figure skater, plays hockey, fears checking, etc.


The secondary character is Jack. Some plot points revolve after him, since he’s the antagonist in year 1, and the love interest in years 2 and 3. Jack is focused on hockey to the point of anxiety, and soft when he has control of said anxiety. Notice that he already has less depth than Bitty. Not because he’s a less rounded character, but because the story is not built around him. His life affects Bitty, that’s why we know about it.


The rest are, at the very least, third tier characters, they get 1 characteristic each, and will never divert from that description. Holster is a loud bro, Ransom is a smart bro, Lardo is an art bro, and when you get further away, the rest have less and less leeway in their personalities. Dex is grumpy, Nursey tries to be chill, Chowder is excitable. Then we almost know nothing of Tango and Whiskey, because they just need to fill spots, like Johnshon the metaphysical goalie needed to fill a spot before Chowder could get there. Notice I didn’t mention Shitty because I’m on the fence between putting him in second or third tier. His story arc doesn’t affect Bitty, I should place him on third tier, but he’s more nuanced than the others.

(loads more under the cut)

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SASUSAKU IS FRAUDULENT

Sasusaku is a fraud

 or how sasuke has been manipulated into SS.

I’m gonna analyze it through two POV: Kishimoto’s and canonverse’s.

-KISHIMOTO:

let’s say he was genuine about it.

1) He admitted in one of his interviews that he even wanted to write a love triangle (that’s just… wow) but ACCORDING to his own words, it wasn’t possible because a) this is a Shonen, and b) he had to prioritize. So, if you say romance was equally important here, you’re deluding yourself. He was focused on everything appealing to boys, i.e. just friendships, popularity contexts and fights. So, it’s only normal, that no romance would have deep development.

In this case, some positive and ROMANTIC-looking moments -no matter how few they are- are enough for romance in this genre. Yet SS doesn’t enjoy from such privilege: part I, team 7 is like family to him (canon), so Sakura is like a sister. He thus protects her as one. Part II -call it ‘he’s in darkness’, or ‘fake Sasuke’- but there’s nothing left of this relationship. The worse is SS went from sibling relationship, to nothing, to romance with a guy that never showed interest in such trivial things as being “attracted to girl or romance”, despite him knowing it actually existed.

2) Kishimoto had only cared about Naruto, his MC, tailoring the rest of the series around him. It’s so bad that every fodder character, every guy from the “main cast” and every evil has surrendered their soul to him. So, once he’s given Naruto his fucking acknowledgement, nothing else mattered for the author.

Sasuke who should have been seen getting over UCM, mending, finding his ways, healing or anything catering to his mental abuse and this abominating genocide has never happened. Why? Because Kishimoto never cared. It wasn’t in his plan.

How can a real Sasuke fan be satisfied with that?

The fact that romance wasn’t even relevant to Kishimoto, and that he didn’t cared about his own creation, he just took the nearest short-cut possible, since ‘Sasuke’s chapter’ was closed to him the moment Naruto beat him.

Since then, he manipulated everything to suit their –SP & Cie’s agenda -Boruto-

Basic reading comprehension.

CANON – VERSE

First, proofs that sasuke is broken and damage i.e. in a state he can be manipulated and driven to do something he doesn’t much care about in the first place.

He’s a ghost of himself

You see there? Sasuke ceased to exist at that very moment. How any decision he made after this can is something genuine? He just surrendered his soul to the world. He keeps living for other people, putting their wishes first, since he doesn’t have any drive himself.

This fragile sasuke can easily end with sakura not because it’s something he has always wanted but, he’s not himself anymore.

Here, he shows us that he’s always been inferior to Naruto and Itachi. Here, you witness a broken man who doesn’t have any more self-love or self-esteem. He’s lost. How is he that Sasuke who made choices because he felt it necessary or what he wanted?

Also, very important, is his dynamic with Itachi. Sorry Itachi fans but he accepted to side against his own family. He betrayed his family, so how Sasuke who is pro-Uchiha forgave a pro-Konoha! Itachi was the last link to the family he ever loved.

Obviously, Sasuke became someone who can be manipulated and everyone who can substitute to his family/Itachi can manipulate him just as well. So, no silly things as “Sasuke can’t be manipulated or driven to do something that doesn’t go with his normal way of being”. He hasn’t even a mind for himself anymore, lol. He deemed necessary to become another Naruto/Itachi.

Because team 7 became that substitute, team 7 can have a huge impact on his mental, and that include Sakura with all that pushing her obsession on him until he breaks. That’s his reality now.


When Sakura confesses, he thinks back again to his family.

For Sasuke, nothing was as much important as his family. He even admitted that he had craved for love, and how he sought for a substitute in Naruto.

That’s back when his old family was more important than anything. After Naruto wins, he breaks down his final wall. What kept team 7 from replacing the Uchiha family, has been vanquished by that final fight. Now Team 7 is not only his sole “decent” connection but his only family.

Like he drank Itachi’s words, he’s bound to drink Team 7 words too.

By the way, why Sasuke felt like helping to save the world but then pull that bullshit? Another bullshit to end this too-long Shonen for Kishimoto.

That he had always loved his family, that team 7 took this place now, that he feels that what he fought for or thought is inferior to Itachi’s and now Naruto’s moral and that Naruto beat him until he had surrendered shows that he shifted his emotions from his old family to team 7.

Now he thinks he’s the worse person to ever walk on this earth when he actually acted like any other ninja. That lets it read that Itachi and now team 7 are always right and he’s wrong to think otherwise. Because he puts himself under those people he thinks are saints moral-wise, he surrendered to their wishes.

He’s like a wound left open now. Every bacterium that ever existed can contaminate him. Yahoo!!

What happened after the big fight and team 7 reunited?

-Kakashi just keeps reading his porn in a shady place.

-Naruto gave up on him.

-Sakura kept confessing until he said yes.

-He has no one but team 7. This team 7 is what is left for someone who put connections above else, and once craved for love.

-All that is important in Naruto is to be pretty, cool and have super power-ups and whatnot. Also get married. You know, ticking everything on the usual bucket-everyday-lists without actually giving it second-thoughts. What? Friendships? Forget about it! Let’s just scratch it a bit and forget about it later on.

So, Sasuke pleases them now, and there’s no one out there to put him first or at least help with his mental health or scars. I mean, now that he isn’t against the Shinobi system why cares about him? Just know something: the moment you get married, whatever pain or mental scars you have will vanish without actually caters to it. (Sarcasm again)

 

Miscellanies:

-The OOC of both to make SS:

Sakura went:

From this:

and this

note her promise

(Makes this face):

to this:

like this:

and that:

a) Sakura reverts back to her 12 self around Sasuke. Crying and repeating confessions. b) Her natural confidence that could have helped Sasuke is none existent. Now she acts like a doormat. Please go watch canon written by Kishi –she’s got little to no backbone when Sasuke is concerned. As long as Sasuke answered positively to her confession she’s okay with everything. c) Sakura who is a cheerful young lady tone down her personality to match Sasuke’s moody one.

Meanwhile, she never writes letters to Sasuke or even tells him to visit to see his daughter, but she wears gladly his Uchiha crest. See how SSS in gaiden is another guilt-trip session for Sasuke. He wanted a family and now it became a source of stress. Everyone, from Sasuke to Sakura, going through salad, everyone was apologizing.  Sweet love!

I like Sakura (she’s evolved emotionally and physically), and I love Sasuke but together? I wanna choke a teddy-bear.

-Sorry but Sasuke has NEVER showed romantic interests or whatsoever in anyone. Instead of ending like Jiraya or Orochimaru, aka with no burdens like raising child but travelling freely, he’s got now a child? What happened? How? Sakura raped him or something? Did he ask her? Had they actually had sex? That’s insane.

-In real fucking life, when a boy doesn’t show interest for any girl, he’s gay or aromantic.  Don’t even start with culture. Naruto showed interest. Jiraya did. Rock lee did. Heck, shojo and shounen ai come from japan.

 

-yeah SS is canon lol. So? If I could fucking take it seriously though, it’s empty, boring and with no real sparks or frictions. Nothing at stakes or anything one could write books about except their aesthetic. Just headcanons like Sakura opening Sasuke’s heart to life -when it’s Naruto-, Sasuke looking like a love interest from a shojo or SNS rip-offs…

They don’t match the canon, neither their respective in character persona.

So, only stupid people can get butt-hurt over the fact that not everyone wants to ship it or find it logical. You like it, ship it elsewhere instead of looking for trouble with antis or other shippers.


To summarize my point is:

-SS indeed happens because Sakura drives him -along team 7- to response to her feelings, not because he was “in love”. (It’s not the same old independent Sasuke). There’s nothing remotely special or admirable about it.

-Sasuke’s last relationships aren’t what could have helped him. Look at him; he’s still vagabonding. Even Naruto ‘let him down’. You think that it’s not Naruto’s job? Then their bond is cheap. You think otherwise? Then let’s admit together that Kishi mostly ruined it all.

 

I don’t care if you ship SS but how Kishimoto handled it and some extreme fans of his had me angry as hell. 

I can’t believe I’m still receiving “kill yourself delulu fugly”, “kill yourself” and the likes because I ship a crack-ship, like wut?? Please come down your high horse, lol. You ain’t nothing special, neither is your ship.

Drink Away the Pain

I figured I’d join the angst train @hardcorewwetrash has started bc why not. I’ve had this fic sitting in my notes for a while but I couldn’t tell if it was missing anything. Oh well.
————-

The familiar cold of the glass I held to my lips was a small comfort, a quick shock to dull the burn of the bourbon I forced myself to gulp down. With a heavy sigh, I placed the glass down onto the coffee table amidst the remains of a photo album and empty bottles.

By now I’d imagine my reflection was terrible, bloodshot eyes, matted hair, dirty clothes, and make up staining my cheeks. Running a shaky hand over tired eyes, I squinted at the floor to ceiling windows just across the living room from where I sat in a sad heap on the couch. Judging by the streaks of light, it must be morning.

Had I drank myself well into the night? How long has it been since everything fell apart? Days, weeks? Was I that low? So gone in my feelings I’d forgotten how to function. Looking now to my side I found my phone lighting up. Was it him? Did he finally realize…. no. He would never….

*******
“I made a solid vow to her, (y/n). I gave my SOUL to this woman. You can’t expect me to–”

“To what? Be true to your feelings? Tell me the truth? Joe, I’m your best friend. YOUR BEST FUCKING FRIEND. I’ve known you FOR YEARS, and you can’t even muster the fucking courage to tell me the truth? To even acknowledge that something is there?”

“It’s not that simple, (y/n). You know it isn’t…I can’t just– I can’t say that I feel the same.”

“Can’t or won’t, Joe, there’s a big difference.”

“I need to go.”

“No! Fucking say it to my face, you fucking coward! Tell me you don’t love me, say it.”

“(y/n)…”

“T-tell me to my fucking face that you d-don’t love me too! SAY IT!”
******

I felt the tears coming all over again. How could I allow myself to be so stupid. Of course he’d never love me, I was only ever a friend. I suppose I let a little drunk flirting go to my head; i had seen it all so clearly in my mind. He and I together, the cute little house, the white picket fence, then I remembered. He has all that, all that and more with out me. He has her. SHE is his forever. SHE IS HIS FUTURE. And I mean nothing.

I’d tried calling her over the past few days, but I’d lost my nerve.
****
How do you tell another woman you’re in love with her husband? What would I say? How would I–

“Hello? Aunt (y/n)? It’s Jojo, my mom isn’t around right now. We miss you…. hello?”
*****
That sweet little voice, she sounded so much like her mother, always so kind. If only she knew how selfish I was being. She would hate me as long as she lived. That precious child has a happy home and I’d become so selfish I was willing to break it to be happy. No wonder he doesn’t love me… not like I love him, anyway.

There came a rapid knocking at my front door. Was it even worth answering? With a heavy sigh I stood and shuffled past more empty bottles to the door, not bothering to ask who it was, I already knew the answer.

“Yes, Joe?”

“Why did you call Galina?”

“Huh. You noticed.” Came my bitter reply, when had I become this way? Another long pause of silence.

“Th-the uh, kids…. they’ve been asking about you.” He scratched at the back of his neck, an old nervous habit.

“Have they?” Silence from me was all that followed. He didn’t deserve my time, or was it I knew I didn’t deserve his?

“You’ve been holed up in this apartment for a week and a half, maybe you should-”

“You don’t fucking care. You should be at home. With your WIFE. Not here dragging your balls through glass in an attempt to talk to me.” Had I actually said that?

“Why are you acting like this, please I–I mean we’re all really worried.”

“Well maybe WE should think about some things before WE decide to come visit me as if everything is o-fucking-kay.” With that I slammed the door, or should I say attempted to, as he’d wedged his foot in between the door frame.

Throwing my hands up in defeat I walked back into the welcoming darkness of my living room. “Did you want some coffee or something?” I asked, more of an obligatory question than a hospitable one.

After tripping over a few bottles he’d made his way to the light switch and flipped it on. “Jesus fucking Christ, (y/n). Are you drinking again?”

“So what if I am? You don’t care, Joe.” I spat

He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re my best friend too you know, I’m supposed to care.”

At his words I flinched. “Don’t say it like it’s a fucking obligation to be friends, Joe. You don’t have to fucking be here. I’m fine!” I busied myself picking up bottles and placing them on the coffee table.

His shoulders rose and fell in rapid succession; picking up a bottle that lay near his feet, he heaved it at the wall sending glass shards in all directions. “You can’t throw a fucking tantrum and drink yourself to death because I don’t share the same feelings you do, (y/n)! This is fucking insane!” He boomed

“Oh, fuck you! The ONLY reason you came over here is because you know that I’m right and you love me, but you’d rather fake a fucking marriage than be true to yourself! You know just as well as I do that she’s fucking cheating on you! She has been for MONTHS! Or wait, is that only relevant when you’re completely shit faced and whining about it in my arms, huh?”

“You shut your FUCKING mouth!”

“The late night calls, the long hours at work, those loooooooong business trips? You know in your heart she fucks her boss every chance she gets; when you’re on the road it’s a million times worse. While the cat is away, the fucking mice will play, right?” I smirked

By now he was seeing red, the little vein in his forehead was pulsing.

“You may not love me, but she damn sure doesn’t love you.” I finished

@vprgirl1887
@macfizzle
@roman-reigns-empire
@roman-reigns-empire-1996
@bombomiver
@knowdagirl-blog
@reigns420

Can’t think of any other tags bc I don’t have my list currently so sorry y'all 🖤

Scared of Pretty Girls and Starting Conversations [Robb Stark x Reader]

Author’s Note: At this point, basically all the titles to my imagines are lyrics that may or may not be relevant to the content of the imagine. I choose them because they sound nice and I’m not stuck thinking of a title for five billion years but that’s kind of it lol. Anyway, who else is pumped for season six of GoT? Gah. Can’t believe it’s that time again. 

Word Count: 1,317

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French Kiss (Skam - Chris x OC) Part 5

Synopsis : Life is a show and Nissen was Christoffer’s stage. He owned the place, people cheered for him, he brought life to the parties and good looks to his group of friends. But after high school he wasn’t so much of a star boy anymore and he found himself being terribly alone. Who really knew the real him? Only the people who got a backstage pass to his life could claim to do. But amidst all the turmoil of his young years, a strange girl is going to stumbled in his life - neither of them will be prepared for this.

Word Count: 3.3k

Part 4 <<< >>> Part 6

MASTERLIST

A/N: Longest chapter so far (and believe me it could have been longer had I not restained myself) I try to incorporate a bit more French now, but I won’t put any translation. Either the meaning is explained in the text, not relevant enough to need a translation in order to understand what’s going on, or obvious enough for you to guess. Enjoy (and leave a reveiw, pretty please :3)

Rule number five: Fake it ‘til you make it.


“So, who are things going with your little Frenchie?” Andreas asked before his ass even touched the couch.

That was what he always did when he arrived at Chris’ place, he kicked off his shoes and jumped on the couch. His lanky figure took all the place and that left only the chair for Chris to sit on. This time the cat was on the couch though, and it wasn’t too happy to be disturbed. A loud mewl was heard from behind the cushions and suddenly an angry ball of fur jumped out and ran out of the living room.

“Shit, your cat scared me!” Andre cursed and replaced the cushions. “Now tell me, I want to know everything and Astrid too! You know she really had a hard time finding you a girl, I hope you didn’t blow her off for nothing!”

“Stop playing match-maker, I don’t want or need one, besides you suck at it. It’s going fine, peachy,” Chris blatantly lied to his friend’s face.

He hadn’t seen Helen in over ten days and when he tried to text her she always sounded busy. A blow to his ego. But as long as he pretended that everything was alright then it would be.

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The Outcast and The Exiled: Chapter 35

Brought to you by Gay Idols & Co. and co-written by sei-tan48 and @tyrant-king-toru

This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears he is a protector. -Plato

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anonymous asked:

HC: pastel!dan and punk!phil. Dan wears booty shorts and has a gf but he doesn't really know if he likes her and phil likes Dan and they fuck in the toilet

quick note just to say that Dan is 19 and Phil is 21, they’re in university and I needed to shrink the age gap a bit~ very very slight degradation and also praise kink~

THIS GOT SO LONG I’M SO SORRY this is probably totally not what you were thinking when you asked for this lol


* Dan walked down the hall holding hands with Christina, but it felt more like habit rather than something he wanted to do. It wasn’t anything about her as a person; she was lovely, very sweet and kind and considerate, but he just… didn’t know.

* He supposed they might be an interesting sight to strangers, the two of them together with their matching flower crowns. Dan was wearing black booty shorts and an oversized pastel blue jumper that draped off of one shoulder while Christina wore a white tennis skirt and a baby pink crop top. The two of them often joked that they were like two candy hearts in a bowl filled mostly with Skittles (but of course, they knew that they weren’t the only ones who dressed like that.)

* Dan made eye contact with one of the other students; his light eyes contrasted intensely with the vibrant tattoos on his arms that were shown off by the black t-shirt with rolled up sleeves that he was wearing. He smiled at Dan, warm and friendly, and Dan smiled back at him. Phil wasn’t quite a friend of Dan’s, but that was only a product of environment and circumstance, so they were amiable to each other when they crossed paths.

* Dan kissed Christina lightly on the lips before they parted to go to their separate classes. “See you later, babe.” He smiled at her as she waved before walking into her classroom.

* Dan sighed as he turned away, wondering what he should do. Christina didn’t deserve to date someone who wasn’t sure what they wanted or how they felt about her. But is breaking up the right thing to do? What if it’s just a temporary lapse in affection, or cold feet, or something? Is that how relationships work? They’d been dating for 7 months, but Dan wasn’t sure that he felt “the spark” or anything to tell him that this was a relationship worth pursuing. I feel bad; Christina is really nice and I love being around her, but it kind of feels more like I just love her as a friend? Do people get into relationships and fall in love later? How do they know when it’s a relationship worth pursuing?

* Dan bit his lip as he ambled to class, worrying it between his teeth as he went. It was one of his more interesting classes, so once the professor came in, he tried to focus on the lecture instead of his relationship woes.

* “Hello everyone, today we’re going to discuss Love as Theatre. I trust that you’ve all done the reading, as we’ll get right into it. As another quick disclaimer, this reading was not trying to convince all of you young people that love doesn’t exist; rather, we are just trying to examine and identify the meaning of romantic love, attitudes towards love, what it means to express your love, and what kind of love that is. Anyway, de Sousa stresses that ‘…love is the acute consciousness of the impossibility of possession‘…”

* Dan snorted quietly at the irony, opening up a blank document to type notes. This course was an elective, so he didn’t have to take it, but he figured that the philosophy of emotions would be interesting. He didn’t quite expect it to cause him to question everything he’s ever felt and everything he’s ever done because of those feelings, but then again he supposed he should have realized, considering that it’s philosophy.

* “…we expect that every lover we find will create a whole new experience for us. In essence, we expect that we are ‘made new’ for every new lover. De Sousa argues that this is not the case; instead, we develop emotional patterns at a very young age, so while we hope that every new person causes a renewal, it’s really more likely just a re-enactment.”

* Am I about to have an existential crisis in the middle of this lecture? Dan thought to himself.

* “…‘If the conscious simulation of love bolstered by the power of sex, is a valuable form of theater, why should some people not make a profession of it? Unless we condemn theater in all its forms, there can’t be anything wrong with the mere fact that we are being invited to experience emotions that don’t correspond to anything that is immediately real.’” Dan made a reference in his notes to the section that the professor was quoting. He started thinking again about the situation, applying the lecture content to his relationship. Okay, so this guy is talking about prostitution and how romantic love is problematic… We never did much sexually, so that doesn’t apply here even if I generalize the themes… Am I only going through the motions of what I think romantic love should be? I don’t know if I actually feel anything romantic? Could I see myself having a very similar relationship with someone else, with this lack of passion? I guess if I’m wondering about it, then I must not actually have feelings for her?

* Dan sighed quietly as the professor continued on. Even if I do stay with Christina, will I just wonder like this the whole time? What if we end up staying together for all our lives, and I’m just always wondering if I should’ve done something different? Fuck, I don’t want to risk that… I guess it’s better to end it now than keep it going on like this… Fuck.

* Dan leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling as if it would give him strength. There was about an hour left of his lecture and now he was stressing about breaking up with Christina. I owe it to the both of us to not let it drag on any longer.

* He took a deep breath as he packed up his things at the end of class, trying to prepare himself. It feels really sudden. I’m scared, especially since I just saw her before this.

* “Hey, can we talk after this?” He texted Christina, knowing it was cowardly but he didn’t want to have to see her face fall when he said it out loud to her. “Yeah, sure :),” came the reply.

* Dan’s heart was pounding when he saw her. She looked beautiful, and he was about to break her heart probably. She smiled at him. “What’s up?” She asked.

* “Can we go somewhere more private?” He asked faintly, looking down and away. “Sure,” she said, leading the way to a stairwell.

* He looked up at her, not really sure how to begin but knowing he couldn’t back out of this now. “I… don’t think this is working for me, I’m really sorry.” He didn’t really want to look up at her, but he still cared about her, so he forced himself to. He was stunned by her kind smile, and she grabbed his hands, but he didn’t feel like it was in a romantic or pleading way.

* “Dan, it’s okay, I understand,” she said. “I’ve been thinking the same; we fit together really well” – she paused to giggle and gesture at their outfits – “but I don’t think it’s romantic. I think we were both trying to prove something to ourselves, and I think we both realized what the truth is. I don’t mind that we’re breaking up, I think we really are better off as friends. Don’t be a stranger, okay? Nothing has to change between us except that we’re not in a relationship anymore. ” She kissed him on the cheek. “You’re braver than you think.”

* She turned to walk away, but she turned back again to say, “Don’t think too much about things; do what feels right. I think we both should start doing that.” She smiled again and Dan smiled back, feeling like nothing had really changed. It was strange; it was nothing at all like how the books or movies usually made breakups seem, but Dan supposed he’s better off not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

* “Uh, hi Dan.” Dan spun around to see Phil standing at the top of the stairwell, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “So… Not the worst breakup ever, hey?”

* “…Were you there the whole time?” Dan asked, feeling his cheeks burn as he toyed with the top of one of his thigh high socks. “Please tell me you weren’t.”

* “No, I just came in at the very end, but I got the idea… Sorry that happened.”

* “It’s okay, I’m technically the one who did the breaking up… Although I feel kind of like it was the other way around, because I didn’t say much and she knew anyway…?”

* “Ah, yeah I’ve been there.” Phil shrugged easily. “It just didn’t work between us, though, no special revelations there.”

* Dan looked at him questioningly. “Special relevations?”

* Phil’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, I think I just assumed something I shouldn’t have. From what I heard her saying, it just sounded like… Wow, that’s really embarrassing and quite frankly kind of intolerant of me, I’m so sorry.”

* Dan looked at him with his head slightly tilted and eyes narrowed, trying to parse what he meant. “You… think we were coming out as gay to each other?”

* “…Yeah…” Phil blushed but also looked somewhat upset. “I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed something like that –”

* “We’re both bi and we knew that about each other already,” Dan corrected him with a smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

* Dan saw Phil’s eyes widen again briefly and a faint blush cross his cheeks, but he wasn’t sure what it meant.

* “So… Have you been with a guy before?” Phil tried to ask casually after a pause, but he started blushing harder.

* Dan squinted at him. “Are you trying to asking about my sexual history or are you trying to come on to me?”

* Phil stepped back and covered his face, mumbling through his hands: “Oh my God. This is so embarrassing.” He peeked through his fingers to see Dan’s eyes steadily looking at him, and he covered his eyes again. “I’ve had a crush on you since we first met in that first year class but I wasn’t sure if you were into guys and then you got together with her so I didn’t want to do anything and now I’m finding out you’re bi like me and –”

* “Well, I’m single and ready to mingle,” Dan joked even as he blushed at Phil’s confession. “I haven’t done anything with a guy for a few years, though.”

* Phil straightened his shoulders and let his hands fall from his face, but his cheeks were still red. “Would you like to fix that?” He said, his voice containing the slightest tremor.

* Dan looked at him in surprise, not really expecting that Phil would propose that right away. He had sort of assumed Phil would be the “take you on a lovely first date and then maybe by the third date have gentle sex” kind of guy. “Like, right now?” He asked, fussing with his fringe.

* “I mean, if you’re free.” Phil rocked back on his heels. He seemed like he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening.

* Dan thought of Christina’s words: “You’re braver than you think… Don’t think too much about things; do what feels right.” He wasn’t sure if this is exactly what Christina meant, but Dan briefly weighed his options. I could have sex with Phil, or I could not have sex with Phil. I don’t really mind, because he’s attractive and he’s kind. Maybe this could become more, even if it’s an unorthodox beginning? Not that that really means anything, considering I just had an unorthodox breakup. I guess ‘your mileage may vary’ is pretty accurate.

* Dan looked back at Phil, who was starting to look increasingly nervous. He smiled and nodded. “Sure, why not.” He winked at Phil. “No trouble on my end,” he said, making a show of looking Phil up and down.

* Phil grinned and Dan swore he saw his pupils dilate, but he didn’t have time to make sure because Phil stepped forward and grabbed his hand, and pulled him, walking fast, into one of the nearby washrooms. Phil pressed him against the closed door of the stall and whispered, “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

* Dan almost melted at the husky tone of his voice, and took the initiative to kiss Phil first. Phil is such a sweetheart, I never really considered how he’d be in this kind of situation. It’s really, really hot.

* Phil intensified the kiss, pressing his tongue into Dan’s mouth. His other hand dropped lower and cupped Dan’s ass.

* He broke the kiss to whisper, “Your ass looks so good in those tiny shorts, but I bet it looks even better without anything on.” He squeezed, and Dan let out a small gasp, his head tilting back.

* Phil saw his opportunity to kiss Dan’s neck, and if he was surprised at the loud moan Dan made at the contact, he didn’t show it. He kissed and licked at Dan’s neck before pulling down the neckline of Dan’s jumper to bite and suck at his collarbone. Dan’s hips jerked forward and Dan bit his lip, trying not to moan so loud since they were in a public space. “Fuck,” he whispered breathily.

* “Your noises are so pretty,” Phil murmured. “No one comes to this part of the building very often; let me hear you. I’ve always thought about how you would look under me. You’re so full of life and you’re so loud when you speak, I wonder if that translates to how you are in the bedroom.” His warm breath ghosted across Dan’s skin and he shuddered.

* “I want you to fuck me,” Dan moaned, his arousal running high from Phil’s attention to his neck. “Right now, please, oh my God.” Somehow, Dan didn’t feel as hesitant having sex with Phil as he had been with Christina.

* “I’ll take care of you,” Phil promised, nipping more at his neck before breaking away to rummage through his bag on the floor. He came up with a travel-sized bottle of lube and a condom.

* Dan, adjusting his erection so it wasn’t pressing so hard against his tight shorts, raised an eyebrow at Phil’s preparedness. “You keep that in your bag all the time?”

* Phil shrugged with a smirk. “Doesn’t hurt to be prepared.” His smirk morphed into a cheeky grin when Dan groaned at the double entendre.

* “Just get on with it already.” Dan rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

* “How do you want to do this?” Phil asked, covering his fingers liberally with the lube. “Do I need to stretch you first?”

* “Yeah, I’ll just bend like this I guess?” Dan faced the toilet and bent over to rest his hands on the toilet tank lid.

* “You have such a pretty bum,” Phil mused, admiring the sight. “I can’t wait to see how it looks with my cock inside it.”

* Dan whimpered at Phil’s blunt words, and palmed at his cock briefly before pulling only his shorts down. He turned to look over his shoulder at Phil and wiggled his bum seductively.

* “Fuck, do you normally wear panties?” Phil groaned at the delicate lavender cloth stretching across Dan’s butt before spanking him.

* Dan jerked forward with a gasp. “Depends on my outfit, but right now I’d really like to not be wearing them.”

* “Who am I to deny a request from such a pretty boy?” Phil slid the fabric down and reached around to gently pump Dan’s cock. He moaned at the stimulation and bent more to push his butt towards Phil. Phil continued to stroke Dan as he slowly put one finger into Dan. It took a little manuevering, but he took a step to one side so he could access the side of Dan’s neck. He licked one long stripe up before nibbling on Dan’s earlobe. Dan gasped and fucked himself back on Phil’s finger, moaning, “More!”

* Phil slipped in another finger, scissoring them as he rubbed the tip of Dan’s cock. When he thought Dan could take it, he slipped in a third.

* Dan almost wailed when Phil touched his prostate, gripping the toilet so hard his knuckles went white.

* “Are you ready for me, babe?” Phil asked, the pet name slipping out.

* “Yes, please, fuck me, touch me there again,” Dan moaned.

* Phil tried to unbutton his jeans with one hand, but he quickly realized that his haste and his natural clumsiness combined made that impossible. He eased his fingers out and it felt like he was punched in the chest when Dan made a sound of complaint at the emptiness. He swiftly undid his jeans and stroked his cock a little to make sure it was fully hard, before ripping open the condom and putting it on.

* Phil put the tip in first, and he felt Dan clench around him, so he started stroking Dan’s cock again to get him to relax. “Relax for me, that’s it,” Phil coaxed. “You’re doing so good for me, you’re better than I’d imagined.”

* He finally bottomed out and then he firmly gripped Dan’s hips. He thrusted slow once, just to make sure Dan was okay, and when Dan thrusted back to meet him he picked up the pace.

* Dan was panting out little moans in time with Phil’s thrusts, and Phil saw one hand leave the tank lid to stroke himself.

* “Fuck, Phil, yes, right there,” Dan moaned as Phil shifted angles slightly. “Don’t stop, fuck!”

* “Clench around me, babe, let me feel you,” Phil said, and the added pressure felt so good.

* “You’re so tight for me, it’s like you were made for my cock.” Phil’s mouth ran as he got closer to his release. “You’re so beautiful, you look so perfect like this.”

* Dan whined, pumping himself faster and harder as Phil continued to hit his prostate.

* It was hard to tell who came first, because everything happened so quickly. Dan’s cum shot into the toilet and partly over the seat and he felt Phil’s weight lean a little heavier on him as the grip on his hips tightened, and they both heard the door to the washroom slam open.

* “Wait, what do you mean?” was all they heard from someone before the door slammed shut again. The intense adrenaline burst both from cumming and also the surprise was intense and it was almost all a blur.

* Dan started laughing as Phil pulled out, and he could hear Phil laugh too as he gingerly slipped the now-full condom off of himself. Dan straightened up and pulled his underwear and shorts back up, turning to look at Phil.

* “Well, that was definitely an experience,” Dan said, breathing heavily. He reached up to fix his flower crown.

* Phil’s cheeks were red with exertion. “I hope you wouldn’t be opposed to doing that again.”

* “Of course not, but hopefully next time we’ll do it in a bed?” Dan said. “Maybe after going out for coffee sometime?”

* Phil looked at him, a smile lighting up his face. He stepped forward and pecked Dan on the lips.

* “I know this was a really strange start, but I would definitely like to see where we can take this.” He gestured between the two of them with one hand as he slung his bag over his shoulder with the other. “If you’re still free, maybe we can go for that coffee right now?”

* Dan picked up his own bag. “Are you suggesting round two afterwards? Because I would be down for that.”

* Phil led the way out of the stall, but turned to look at Dan. “Looks like you’re the one suggesting round two.”

* “What can I say, you’ve rubbed off on me.” Dan said with a straight face, and they both laughed.

* “I’ll be sure to rub off on you later tonight, then.” Phil said with a wink, and pinched Dan’s butt. “Let’s go to the place down the street, they have the best muffins…”


this really ran away from me lmao I really didn’t want to write Dan cheating so I wrote in the whole breakup thing.

also check me out, putting my degree to use by throwing in some philosophy. I did actually take a philosophy of emotions class in my second year lol but it was at 9:30am on Mondays and Wednesdays so I have literally no idea what went on in the classes. For this hc I just looked at the syllabus and picked a reading that I thought might suit it, then googled the content and paraphrased it lol. It was a little bit of a stretch but it wasn’t that important anyway lmao.

I should probably just stop pretending that these are hcs and call them actual fics but like eh lol. I might start titling them though.

- Rebecca

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