no romney!

[Rachel and Chloe eat dinner with the Ambers] 

Rachel - Mom, Dad. [holds Chloe’s hand] I’m dating Chloe

Rachel’s Dad - Now Rachel, Relationships are serious business

Rachel - [let’s go of Chloe’s hand, stands up and grabs the salad bowl]You Mitt Romney looking WHORE ! [slams salad bowl down onto the glass table below, shattering it into a billion pieces]

The Ambers- [look around at each other nervously] 

Chloe- [sweating] Great meal Mrs. Amber 

anonymous asked:

Okay I disagree with you on the Game Grumps discourse, but here's the real question; how do you feel about Dream Daddy

I don’t know why, in a game explicitly about dating and fucking men, they’d include this asshole, the least fuckable man in video game history.

Motherfucker’s favorite movie is Old Yeller, he can quote it from memory, he won’t let his kids watch Ed Edd n Eddy, this guy’s idea of a first date is to volunteer at the church open raffle and drop you off at home by 8, motherfucker gets you a $10 gift card for Applebees as a first anniversary present, some guys are carved out of marble, this guy? carved out of provolone cheese. this asshole has strong opinions on the latest Serena Williams tennis controversy and her “attitude problems”, the first time you finally fuck he keeps playing Bryan Adams songs on his sex playlist, “hey great job with the sex, let’s go wash our hands”, this dude has been divorced three times and met his current wife at the Three Days Grace concert “Son can you help me set up the parental controls on Netflix?” motherfucker spent money on Google Glass, he only ever gets pizza from Safeway because it’s “healthier”, “’Hey’ is for horses, son, in this house we say ‘excuse me’”, asshole discusses Big Bang Theory lore with his depressed wife, “haha if it won’t scan that means it’s free right?”, dude has a different polo shirt for every occasion and holiday, this motherfucker goes to the store for cereal and decides to go wild and buys the organic coco puffs knock off, this dude collects Great Clips coupons, motherfucker tastes like zero-sugar applesauce, this guy’s guilty pleasure is his secret Entertainment Weekly subscription,  “I can’t be racist, I’ve watched The Cosby Show”, this dude goes on facebook and shares Mitt Romney memes and tells his kids about it, motherfucker uses youtube’s restricted mode, this guy’s pride and joy is his collected edition of Richie Rich comics and he thinks modern-day Garfield his hilarious, he calls anime “japanimation”, grabs his family and hops in the SUV to drive three hours to go see Grandpa’s choir performance, “don’t give that man any money, he’ll just spend it on weed”, dumbass falls for an updogg joke and posts a How I Met Your Mother gif as a reaction, motherfucker uses his sprinklers during a water ban because be damned if his topiary stallions are gonna go to shit on his watch, dude says rap music doesn’t make sense while filing his Beatles albums alphabetically

 I’ve never played Dream Daddy

Every post Communismkills makes about her domestic life reminds me of that scene in the Mitt Romney documentary when Mitt tries to iron his shirt while still wearing it and keeps saying ow every time he burns himself

According to a poll from 2012, 20% of romney voters and 6% of obama voters thought obama was the anti-christ. I’m not shocked by the republican numbers but i cannot believe 6% of democrats voted for a man they thought were anti-christ. wild