no player

Pilot: “So they’re like Jehovah’s Witnesses?”
Captain: “But in space.”
Engineer: “Space Jehovah’s Witnesses!”

And then later on…

Pilot: “So, uh, space Jehovah’s Witnesses turned out to be part of the criminal underbelly.”
Captain.: “So more like… Jehovah’s NO Witnesses?”
Engineer: “In space!”
Pilot: “Space Jehovah’s No Witnesses. Beautiful.”

Always Double Check

We’re shopping and our rogue has been hoarding money during the campaign and has taken this moment to buy a lot of stuff with it. 

Barbarian: so you’re just pulling out a bunch of money we didn’t know you had and buying shit?

Rogue: you don’t know where it came from. It could’ve come from your pocket, it could’ve come from the shop keeper’s pocket

Barbarian(OOC): did you say that in front of the shopkeeper?

Rogue(OOC): ya know what, fuck it, I did

DM: the shopkeep checks his pockets 

Rogue(OOC) can I roll slight of hand to pick his pockets after he checks?

DM: fine

Rogue: *rolls a 21* 

DM: you get 5 gold 

  • Followers 200! Подарочек!
  • Poses №11 by Rin-Anj 

You will need (Вам понадобится) :

Pose player and teleport any sim - x2

You need (От вас требуется) :

1. Don’t claim my creations as your own (Не претендуйте на мои творения, как на свои)

2. Don’t re-upload my creations (Не загружайте заново мои творения)

3. Tag me if you use them (Пометьте меня, если вы используете их)

Download (SFS)

10

Greats Of The Game | Roy Keane, Midfielder

 Roy Keane is the joint-most successful Irish footballer of all time, having won 19 major trophies, 17 of which came at Manchester United, in his club career.

In his 18-year-long playing career, Keane played for Cobh Ramblers, Nottingham Forest, and Manchester United, before ending his career at Celtic. Keane was a dominating defensive midfielder, noted for his aggressive and highly competitive style of play, an attitude that helped him excel as captain of Manchester United from 1997 until his departure in 2005. Joining the club in 1993, Keane helped Manchester United achieve a sustained period of success during his twelve year tenure at the club.

Regarded as one of the best defensive midfielders of his generation, in 2004 Keane was named by Pelé in the FIFA 100 list of the world’s greatest living players. In 2007, The Times placed him at number 11 in their list of the 50 “hardest” footballers in history.

Keep reading

God damnit, Hargen

Context: Our party is two dwarves and a human, and we were in a town that was being attacked by just about everything on the face of the planet, including a fire demon and a really shitty necromancer.

DM: Hargen, roll a d20 to see if you avoid the fire stream.
Hargen, OOC: *Rolls a 9* FUCK
Dm: So, Hargen attempts to dive out of the way of the incoming flames, but in the process his clothes are caught alight, roll to see how badly.
Hargen, OOC: *Rolls a 2* Oh god I’m dead aren’t I?
DM, now with terrifying smile: Wrong, while narrowly dodging the fire, Hargen’s clothes and beard catch alight-
Our party: WAIT WHAT
DM: And within a few seconds Hargen is left naked and beardless, for all the world to see. Take ten damage.

Our party pretty much lost it, but then the DM, still with that evil grin, rolls a few dice, and says this.

Dm: The neceomancer, incredibely flustered at the sudden showing of such a high quality anatomical form, the enlarging magic it was directing at the demon goes haywire and is now aimed at whatever part of Hargen’s body he is focusing on *Proceeds to roll natural one*
Dm: Hargen’s dick grows four times it’s regular size
Hargen, OOC: FUCKING SCORE
Orgar: HARGEN THE WALL’S ALMOST DONE FOR AND YOUR NAKED FOR FUCKS SAKE PICK UP YOUR PILLAR DICK AND RUN
Hargen, OOC, and face lighting up: I lost my sword earlier, right?
DM: Yes? Why’d you ask?
Hargen, OOC: Can I slap the demon with my dick?
We had to stop for five minutes because we couldn’t stop laughing. I ended up having to renounce my god and call upon a new one just to save his ass while Orgar tried to drag civilians out of the burning tavern because they were too caught up staring at Hargen’s lengthed staff.