no player

After we out the last few stairs to a guard tower, around sixty guards gathered below us to try and get up the stairs.

I cast prestidigitation to make it look like there was an extra stair

I yelled “Come and get me!” and rolled a nat 20 on Persuasion.

All sixty guards fell for it and died by falling down the tower.

“I JUST KILLED SIXTY GUARDS WITH A CANTRIP, AND I CAN’T EVEN PRONOUNCE IT”

So our friend was new to playing dnd

Newbie: So what is a survival check for?

DM: It’s basically if i threw you out in the forest and said ‘good fucking luck’, so-

Me: Its when, after you are done playing for the day, the DM makes you roll a survival check and if its lower then a 20, the DM takes you out back-

Newbie: OH MY g o

Me: and shoots you like a horse

DM proceeds to loose shit laughing

Andre Burakovsky - Language Barrier

Originally posted by glovesdropped

Finally got this up! I hope you like it! Shout out to @hockeyobsessedloser for giving me this idea!

Word Count: 1320

Warnings: None?


Recently, Andre had convinced you to move out to Malmö with him during off season. You were resistant at first, not knowing if you wanted to leave all your friends, family, and job, by moving to another country. But, he convinced you by stating the fact it’s only a couple months out of the year that you would be there.

Keep reading

The Hug that saved the World

Context: Our DM decided to test our characters on his final night as DM. He created a God Tier level Wizard that threatened the very world itself and challenged us to defeat him. After about an hour of fighting our party wasn’t looking too good. The wizard had recently launched a giant fire ball at the party and my character was unlucky and began to be on fire.

Me (OOC) Since I’m on fire could I run up to the wizard and give him a hug while I’m on fire.

DM (chuckling) You can defiantly try.

Me (OOC) Man, how much damage would that cause?

DM (sarcastic) it be 365 hug damage

Me in character “Who wants a hug?!”

My Barbarian ran up to the wizard as my party pleaded me to stop. I passed my grapple check and I gave the best bear hug that my barbarian could do. Surprisingly, the DM honored the said damage as my character delivered a 365 damage bear hug, but my character suffered the same amount of damage. When my party collected themselves, all there was were 2 piles of ash. My character that I have been playing for years was gone.

When the party returned to town, they used their reward money to have a statue made of their fallen Barbarian comrade. Thus reading, “Never Forget Tardgerd, Yippy Ki Yay Mother Hugger.”

So remember kids, if you’re ever faced with an enemy that can’t seem to be beaten, a very warm hug is always an option.

sburb-player  asked:

((Can we use your art as our profile pics/header if we credit you in our bio? I just want to make sure you're ok with it!))

Sure!  Thank you for asking!  I get this question a lot so I hope you don’t mind me posting your ask publicly.  (If you do, just let me know and I’ll take it down.)

I’m perfectly fine with with anyone wanting to use the art for icons, banners, or wallpapers.  I’m really happy to see people enjoying it and to know they like it enough to use it or personal stuff.

Also, I hope you don’t mind me adding this, but I get this question a lot too and it kind of goes hand in hand with yours. I’m also fine with people using them for VA things on Youtube or MEPs (I seriously get these questions a lot). 

Another thing I really encourage is anyone that wants to translate the comics to their native languages and repost them. In cases like this I’ll send the large files so they can rebubble them if need be. So this kind of thing really makes my day!

So honestly the only thing that’s a ‘no’, is if someone takes the art and sells it in some fashion or reposts it without some form of credit.  Other than that go for it!

Surprise *Part 2* (William Nylander)

A part two of the Willy imagine was requested by @nebraskank

Requests are open.

Warnings: Mentions alcohol

Up Next: Connor McDavid followed by Auston Matthews


You couldn’t believe what you had just witnessed. The Toronto Maple Leafs had just become back-to-back Stanley Cup champions. Just like your husband had said they would…you weren’t planning on reminding him of that face, lest he get a big head.

The team had come a long way since their dramatic rebuild and the hard work paid off. The Cup was being wheeled onto the ice and the crowd began booing as Gary Bettman began to talk. You had a huge smile on your face as once again the Leafs players skated around the ice with it in hand.

Things were a bit different this year, though. You stayed in the box reserved for family as everyone else proceeded down towards the ice. You were not in the mood to have the twins, who had just fallen asleep, wake up again because of the noise.

The twins had been born in early march, a few week short of full-term. They were now about 15 weeks and the absolute light of both your and Willy’s life. They had stayed awake for most of the game, the lights capturing their attention quite easily. Cooing and their secret language of baby talk had kept everybody entertained during intermission. The twins sleep schedule still wasn’t solid and normal, but if they were woken up then you were out of luck for the next few hours in getting them back to sleep. So, despite their industrial strength noise-blocking headphones that were engulfing their ears, you weren’t risking taking them down until things calmed down a bit.

Once you ventured out you headed straight for your car. After sending a quick text to Willy, telling him to meet you out by the car before heading out to the party, you began to fasten the twins into the car. As you softly closed the door and headed around to get into the car, you heard a bunch of racket…it looked like the party was coming to you.

The guys from the team were exiting the player tunnel it what seemed like a parade fashion, with the cup periodically being hoisted over their heads. Cheers coming from the men as they lived the glory of winning the Cup again.

When Willy saw you standing by the car he rushed over and pulled you into a bone crushing hug and swung you around just like last year, except not on skates this time.

“Didn’t I tell you we’d win it again!? Back-to-back!! Where are the boys?? I want to get a picture of them in it!” You could tell that Willy had already started his party. He was in the overeager state that only came when alcohol was involved. He wasn’t drunk yet, just a bit buzzed.

“The twins are asleep. We can do a picture of it when you have the Cup for a day.” You reasoned.

“But it’s here now! And all the guys will get to see it! Come on, Y/N!” He pleaded.

“Willy. They’re asleep…you know how they are if they get woken up!”

“What if I promise not to wake them up?”

You shot him a skeptical look. “Yeah, that’s going to happen…not! As soon as you unbuckle them they’ll wake up!!”

“Please??” He shot you a pleading look.

“Fine…”He got really excited but you caught his arm before he reached the car door. “If you can promise me one thing.”

“Of course!”

“If you can promise me that there are no germs from a bunch of grown men drinking out of the bowl of that cup…then yes, we can take a picture today. If you can’t make that promise then we’re not doing it.”

“Babeeeeeeee,” He whined. “It’s just a few germs!!”

“And they’re little babies! Their immune systems aren’t that strong. If one of you is sick it could make the twins seriously ill. I know you want to do the picture…and we will just not today.”

“You’re right.” He kissed your forehead. “How were they during the game?”

“They were fascinated with the lights. They weren’t particularly fond of Carlton. They cried when they saw him.”

“Let me give them a kiss and then I’ll let you head out. I won’t stay out too late. I know you’ll need help.” He quietly opened each door and pressed a soft kiss to the top of their heads. They were completely identical and looked just like their father. If they didn’t have your mouth and you hadn’t carried them, you wouldn’t be sure they were actually your kids.

“I love you.” Willy said as he kissed your lips.

“I love you, too. Be safe.”


And less than a month later the twins had their picture taken together in the cup. Sure, they were both screaming their displeasure…but it was a picture that you and Willy loved.

I might actually get to host an irl dragon age rpg campaign within the coming months and that’s mind boggling 8|