i really hope this doesn’t get lost in the sea of messages mark gets today (wasn’t really planning on writing one because i figured he wouldn’t see it anyway and no one really cares but oh well) because for once i want him to see how he affects me so much
mark, i’ve only been around since february but i can say with total confidence that you have completely transformed my life. i’m going through a lot of shit right now and seeing your crying thumbnail worried me so much.
but after actually sitting and watching that video and listening to you while crying nonstop i thought about how connected i feel to you and how much i’m grateful to have you in my life and even though i’m too far away to ever meet you i still adore you so much and i’m so proud of your journey and i have so much love for your constant ambition to do more.
seeing you strive to always do better and be better is so damn motivating. just hearing you say “you’re fine” made me feel a million times better on its own. the video, albeit painful, showed me that you’re somehow even more loving, kind and grateful than i knew you to be. it’s amazing and i love you so much.
my thoughts are kind of all over the place right now. things are so bad that i felt like i don’t even deserve to be watching your videos or be in this community. i feel so worthless and stupid and useless way too often and it keeps me away from interacting with the wonderful, talented and amazing friends i’ve made here. but you always bring me back. you lift me up. you save me. and i’m so goddamn grateful for that. nobody makes me so happy the way you do.
i wish i could just hug you or talk to you or interact with you but i’m all the way across the world in kuwait, a country in the middle east, where literally nobody goes. i wanna go to pax or vidcon or the yw tour and meet you someday but i know that i can’t and that sucks, i guess, but even still i feel like you’re my best friend. you’re always there for me, even if you can never truly know me.
anyway this got rambly and messy but tldr i love you and thank you for everything okay bye