no one will ever be as cool as this man

anonymous asked:

Lmao I've tried to understand Carla over and over again but like I can't one small good thing doesn't cpver up all the other hprrible things he has done same goes for the rest 11 dudes (ok Azusa is cool doe)

man…I cant be mad at azusa ever

A Very Serious Review Of Waterholes, by G. G. Dog, esq, Resident Forest Puddle/Really Big Stick Quality Control Officer

Peoplefriends with cars are THE BEST. Forest walks are THE BEST. Puddles are THE BEST. Giant sticks are THE BESTEST

Waterhole 1.

Right at the start of the walk, so BEST because convenient. Could dive in straight away before I got hot. Not very deep though and no good sticks.
3 stars.

Peoplefriends called me away before I could grab the nice straight stick an old man was walking around with. Found a better stick not far from there though. BEST STICK.

Waterhole 2:

Middle of the walk, and this one is always full so I zoom ahead long before the peoplefriends get there so I have extra swimming time.
It wasn’t as full as last time but still, nice and big, BEST mudding properties, a good cool place to stop and play with BEST STICK. 4 stars.

Waterhole 3
THE BEST PUDDLE - 5 stars

HUGE and there was an EVEN BETTER BEST STICK

The REALLY EXCELLENT BEST STICK

In conclusion: BEST DAY EVER

do u ever just sit down and realize how fucking great lord of the rings is like fuck we’re all still crying about sams speech and his po-ta-toes and i mean how amazing is the battle of the pelennor fields?11?!!? and the music you guys thE MUSIC and aragorns resting bitch face and legolas and gimlis kill count game “tHAT STILL ONLY COUNTS AS ONE” and “I AM NO MAN” and “ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO MORDOR” and like the hobbit squad right hobbits are fucking cool man and  i mean do you ever just do that do you sit down and think about lord of the rings

do you

College Things

- The guy in front of you in class is shopping for a charcoal grill on ebay. why. sir. we have a test next week. 

- Squirrels just….have no fear. None. Only on college campuses though. Are they okay? 

- Finding condoms, packaged and not, in various places. 9 times out of 10, if there’s something inside, it’s not what the condom is supposed to have inside of it. 

- Water balloon condoms. See above. 

- That one guy who wears the same hat every day and you see him every day and you don’t understand why he’s so attached to this hat what is he hiding 

- *single flake of snow appears* “Maybe campus will shut down tomorrow.”

- Campus doesn’t shut down. There’s three feet of snow and the wind chill is below zero. 

- That one corner of the library basement that no one goes to. It smells old and there’s probably a ghost there. 

- When you’re a pedestrian, you hate the cyclists. When you’re on a bicycle, you want nothing more than to run every single person over. 

- You see someone violently acting out a music video with their headphones in. You leave them alone because you were doing the same thing thirty minutes ago.  You hope it goes well for them. 

- Theater majors. Just…theater majors. 

- do the science kids???? ever leave the science buildings???? where do they sleep? 

- There’s a dog. It’s surrounded in seconds by over-caffeinated, under-hydrated students who haven’t slept in three days. 

- you find articles of clothing in really weird places and just. stop caring. glove in a tree? Cool man. Sock on the street? Hope no one needed that. Pants on the stairs of the dorm? Use a condom bro. 

- The dorm lobby television only ever plays sports, news, or The Food Network. No one is ever actually watching what’s on. 

- how are the art students even alive 

- that one professor that EVERYONE on campus knows, even if they have a completely different major than what they teach. 

- there’s a class. you know you had it. you know you have a grade for it. you can’t remember a single second of your time in it. 

- Where did that cat come from? No one knows. It’s always been there. You can’t pet it. Only stare from afar. 

- what is tipping? how does it work? idk tip the pizza guy five bucks for the ten dollar pizza. he looks tired. he’s dying on the inside. he saw a guy naked tonight. 

- Inevitable “pinned condom on the bulletin board goes missing” gag

- Your whiteboard markers are missing again. You put them out yesterday. 

- someone stole an entire skeleton from the science buildings. it got returned a week later without the skull. 

- Vocalist majors. Almost as bad as the theater majors. At least the theater kids don’t sing during breakfast. 

- there’s a piano in the student lounge. no one can play anything but Chopsticks and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. 

- your garbage is four feet tall and has been there for two weeks. you add more to the top. you took the recycling out yesterday.

anonymous asked:

brooklyn nine nine is over rated, and yes I have seen it

oh cool. Which bit is overrated? 

Is it the two female Latina women who are completely different character yet love and support one another? Amy who is going to be the youngest captain ever and who is so Type A but isn’t a killjoy? The person who would do anything for anyone?

It’s not Rosa. The Toughest and most independent person. Who wears black always but has a heart of motherfucking gold? Who is the complete opposite to most people but holds onto their friendship fiercely? 

Or is it the male white Jewish man who calls out sexism, racism and “cool motive still murder?

Is it Terry? The black man who is family orientated, care about his girls and his wife more then his own life? Who enjoys yogurt and farmers markets and going to the gym?

Is it Gina? The woman who prides herself on being unique and independent? who is smarter then..well all the people in the precinct and doesn’t care? Just does her and helps her friends? 

Don’t tell me it’s Charles? The softest of them all. The one whose been hurt so many times but keeps believing in love?

Ya know, it’s gotta be Holt. The openly gay Captain who is a great detective and has battled a life of being ostracised and left out only to find his home in the 99 and still maintain respect. Who is in love with his partner but is open about the challenges they face? Who protects his staff/family over himself? who is known to be a brilliant detective? 

Are they overrated?Is it them? Or is it the feeling of comfort you get while watching it? The lighthearted humour that still challenges social issues? Is it the moo moo episode which challenges a modern issues like stop and frisk and racial profiling? Is it the femenist writing? Is it the friendships we all feel part of? Is it the cast? Is it the crew? 

No, honestly tell me what you think is overrated because i sure as hell can’t work it out.

lesbian travel packing list

All these ‘pack light for women!’ packing lists say things like, “Bring a couple of skirts or dresses! Matching your lipstick with your skirt immediately makes everything look dressier, and lipstick takes no room! Add some sparkle to your night with ballet flats instead of heels!!” and I’m like

okay I need a lesbian packing list, for non-femme lesbians like

  • 4 x different coloured flannels (you’ll only end up wearing Your Favourite, though)
  • 1 x pair enormous super cool boots that you will wear everywhere
  • 1 x pair converse sneakers because your cool boots will give you fucking blisters
  • 1 x that old pair of jeans you’ve been wearing for 3 years and your mum hates
  • a leather jacket
  • 3 x varied t-shirts to wear under the flannels
  • 4 x pairs the comfiest fucking socks in the world
  • 5 x androgynous-looking underwear
  • 2 x pretty cotton underwear with a cutesy print that you really like even though it doesn’t fit your aesthetic
  • 1 x ugly greying sports bra that is really comfy
  • 1 x nice bra just in case you ever get laid (it’s never been used, because on the odd occasion you get laid, it’s while you’re wearing your embarrassingly old sports bra)
  • a guitar. this is imperative. real lesbians play fire-side guitar. the lesbian in you will give you natural accoustic guitar aptitude. learn some tegan and sara, this is important,
  • 1 x skateboard. idk man, all the cool lesbians seem to always have these, I guess just carry one around for a bit, maybe one of the lesbians will teach you how to use it and you’ll finally get some use out of your Nice Bra
  • congratulations, you’re ready to Europe
Dating Tom Holland Would Include...

Originally posted by tomhollandisdaddy

ok I couldn’t help myself, sorry I haven’t written in years- but ya enjoy!!

  • alright, like tom would be the sweetest boyfriend don’t even try to fight me lol
  • like he would be such a gentleman 
  • always holding doors for you and pulling out chairs for you and ordering on your behalf and such
  • but he’d also be really cheeky 
  • like he’s not one to shy away from a good prank I feel
  • like he’d hide behind the door and give you a good jump scare or fill your car up with balloons or something- innocent things
  • but like if it ever got too far or if you even got the slightest bit hurt from it, he’d immediately rush over to you and make sure you’re alright
  • the little gymnist would constantly be doing flips and all these cool parkour moves which would make you so worried and on edge
  • “babe, stop, you’re going to hurt yourself”
  • “oh come on, darling, I’m spider-man”
  • and that would be his excuse for everything “darling, I am spider man after all”
  • and yes, his favorite thing to call you would be “darling”
  • and you’d also be worried about him doing some of his own stunts
  • like you’d walk over and he’d be hanging from some cables and casually be like, “oh, hey babe! want to grab some dinner after this?” 
  • taking Tessa on regular walks through the park would probably be one of the highlights of your day because it’d usually just be you and tom
  • and you’d find a quiet spot and just throw some tennis balls out for Tess and relax for a bit, it’d be a great get away from all the flashing cameras and noise
  • hanging out with Tess most of the time in his trailer
  • I feel like your relationship would be kind of private
  • I mean, people would know you’re dating, but you guys wouldn’t flaunt it
  • there may be a couple of pictures of you through out his Instagram feed, but it wouldn’t be overboard
  • and when you do post a picture together, the fans will all go crazy
  • however, on twitter, I feel like you two would get into little witty battles, here and there, and people would take sides and everything
  • but it wouldn’t be anything major, it’d be stupid stuff- like the correct pronunciation for “croissant” or something lol 
  • he’d be dancing all over the place all the time
  • and if you’re not good at dancing he would teach you a move or two and crack up at the amount of rhythm you lack, but he’d find it really cute and endearing
  • teasing him about lip sync battle
  • and sometimes if it’s raining he’ll do a tiny bit of the routine just to make you laugh
  • lots of insiders
  • beach dates
  • you would hang out with Harrison a lot and go to interviews and watch behind the cameras 
  • and Tom would get distracted every now and then with you being right there, and he’d stare off and you’d point your finger to the interviewer and signal at him to focus back, even though it’s really cute 
  • seeing the world while joining him on press tour every now and then
  • sneaking him off set every once in a while to grab a bite to eat or go adventuring and putting him in an elaborate disguise 
  • waking up to him making a nice cup of tea and breakfast every morning
  • having spider man merch lying all over the house because tom can’t help himself
  • and every time you’re at target and pass the toy isle where all the action figures are and the masks are, he’ll stop and shout “hey, look it’s me!!” 
  • sweet little kisses 
  • planning the future together
  • “what if our kid prefers superman?”
  • “then we’ll send them off to military school” 
  • obviously being his date to red carpet events and ceremonies 
  • and he’d always be very nervous and making sure you’re alright because all the flashing cameras, rude reporters, and screaming fans are a bit much
  • cheering him on in the crowd when he’s up for an award
  • and you being one of the first people he thanks in his speeches
  • if you aren’t from England and he’s near your home town for press tour or comic con, you take him all around town and show him where you grew up and share funny stories about each of your stops
  • him getting on great with your family, who can’t get enough of him
  • going over to see his family on holidays, who absolutely adore you
  • one of his brothers will probably have a not so secret crush on you and you jokingly threaten tom to leave him for them 
  • you being his whole world and him constantly talking about you in interviews
  • also lots of rumors about you guys getting married, having a baby, or breaking up, but you just tune those out 
  • lots of movie nights at his place which lead to you guys crashing out on the couch 
  • stealing his clothes
  • him whispering sweet nothings in your ear
  • and Harrison screaming “get a room”
  • lots of “I love you’s” 

let me know if you want a part 2 lol 

firsts ✰ peter parker

summary : a collection of firsts between you and your beloved boyfriend, peter benjamin parker. 

author’s note : y’all okay this is so long my apologies i just??? went so overboard??? because i loved this so much?? also i could probably do more of these because it’s so cute and there are more things that could be added this was just already so long

  • the first time you meet peter, you’re pretty sure, at least just for a second, that you’ve officially met the human form of sunshine
  • seriously he’s always so happy??? and smiling??? and it’s honestly makes him so attractive to you in the first place
  • other than the exceptionally cute face that keeps angling itself toward you ever so slightly in ap chem class that thursday morning 
  • you’re both in lab and he’s sitting at his shared table with ned and he’s supposed to be making the mixture for his webs but oh well he’d rather stare at you like he does in every class you have together
  • (it’s three, three classes and two free periods and lunch and your locker is four down from his, not that he’s paying much attention to that sort of thing)
  • finally ned encourages him to walk up to you in class and ask for an extra beaker one day
    • “do you want my hat for some confidence boosts”
    • “no ned you’re the only one who can wear that hat properly”
    • “you’re not wrong”
  • so peter casually strolls up to your table where you’re sitting alone because your partner is absent and he bumps into the front of the desk 
  • you glance up from your work to see him holding his ribcage and mumbling under his breath
    • “oh, hi peter!” you say cheerfully
    • “wait you know my name?” ohmygodohmygod she knows who i am what the hell oh my god
    • “well duh, we have three classes together of course i do”
  • the best way to describe him in that moment is having lit up from within
  • he instantaneously smiles so wide and so excitedly as he realizes that you’ve noticed him too and maybe not in the same way he’s been noticing you but it doesn’t matter because it’s something 
  • he can work with something
  • and he definitely does
  • from the moment he slid into the empty seat next to you, turning around to give ned a completely obvious thumbs up with another wide grin, you knew you were goner
  • the first time you hold hands with peter you’re on the train with him going to meet may for the first time
  • you’re sort of together but not really but at the same time everyone knows that you and peter are pretty much dating
  • anyways peter really wants you to meet his aunt because she’s his favorite person ever but you’re slowly becoming a contender for that title
  • also may has been relentlessly asking to meet you for the past month and a half of you and peter developing strong feelings for each other so he figures now is as good a time as any
  • especially since he’s planning on asking you to be his girlfriend in the very very near future
  • so you’re taking the train back to his apartment and there’s barely any room for the both of you to sit unless he goes across the cart and the last thing this cutie wants to do is leave you 
  • he’s chilling and holding onto the pole thing by your seat and his other hand is dangling at his side kind of close to yours and he really wants to grab your hand so his fingers are kind of like twitching awkwardly ‘cause he’s not sure whether or not he should just lean down and go for it
  • you’re the one that goes for it in the end, shifting your bag on your lap before you reach out to hold his hand kind of loosely in case he doesn’t really want to
  • but he really wants to
  • and the blood rushes to his face so quickly when he glances down to see you shyly smiling up at him with your hand in his not quite firmly enough 
  • he laces his fingers through yours and makes sure you know he wants to do this more than anything else 
  • peter kind of adores hand holding
  • it makes him super happy and he feels safe and loved and cared for when you hold his hand for that first time 
  • he swings your hands back and forth between you as you trek to his apartment and he does it an exaggerated fashion that makes you laugh
  • he’s happy, so happy
  • the first time he kisses you is that same day, and it’s also the day he officially becomes your boyfriend
  • basically it’s a day neither you nor him would ever or could ever forget
  • you had just arrived at his building and you were both just standing there staring at each other with your hands still clasped together 
  • he had a dopey little happy adorable grin on his face as he bounced on his heels slightly and that made you smile so hard as well 
  • he looked like the most excited little boy ever 
  • which he was, if you really think about it
  • anyway he kind of just moves his hands up to your face for like a second and he hesitates but you nod and tell him that it’s okay so he presses them against your cheeks
    • “i- i wanna… can i… i’m gonna kiss you is that okay maybe”
    • “yeah pete, that’d be okay with me” you smile really softly at him and he nods again and he’s so nervous
  • he leans in and you lean in and you’re so close that you can practically feel his eyelashes delicately fluttering against your cheeks 
  • and then he closes his eyes and he kisses you and it’s only for like four seconds but it’s okay because you’re sure that it’s the best kiss you’ve ever experienced in your life
  • when he pulls back he’s so blushy and cute and shy with his head ducked slightly so you can’t look at him when he asks the next question
    • “so- um, maybe when i- i introduce you to may, i could possibly call you my… girlfriend? maybe? if you’d like to be…”
    • “PETERYESI’VEBEENWAITINGIWOULDLOVETOBE”
    • “OHOKAYIMSORRYTOKEEPYOUWAITING”
    • “IT’SFINEIREALLYLIKEYOU”
    • “ILIKEYOUMORE OKAY COOL LET’S GO MEET MAY”
  • the cutest babes ever :’))
  • the first time he calls you babe is maybe a week or two later
  • he doesn’t really mean to but it slips out and he can’t take it back
  • after seeing your reaction to it he doesn’t want to it back anyhow but before he notices how bright you beam at him he definitely slaps a hand over his face in embarrassment 
    • because like,,, is that even allowed am i supposed to say things like that what are relationship rules is that okay ohmygod
  • so you’re sitting at his desk and you’re going over calc homework with him and you’ve got a pen cap stuck between your lips as you concentrate and he is on his bed with one hand on his cheek and an elbow propping him so he can gaze at you the way an art connoisseur would admire a painting in the MET and he can’t help it
  • it just slips out like
    • “i got really lucky when i met you babe”
    • but he doesn’T MEAN TO SAY BABE AND HIS HEART KIND OF GOES !!!!!!!! but in a bad way
    • he’s like ah fuck i ruined it
    • but you spin around in his little spinny chair that you love and you grin at him and then he relaxes a bit and thinks hey ok good job peter so suave and charming nice one man and pats himself on the back a bit
    • “babe huh”
    • he tries to play it cool but he squeaks out “ummm yeah well like if you’re cool with it ya know haha” 
  • spoiler alert ! you’re v cool with it
  • the first time he says i love you isn’t during some big grandiose argument about him being spider-man
  • in fact it’s probably the lamest fucking thing ever and he kind of regrets not making it a bigger deal to tell you that he loves you but like whatever
  • it makes for a funny story
  • he’s been up with you the past two weeks studying for a history final that has you stressed out you haven’t kissed him hello in like… two days
  • you get out of your final and you’re like sweating from the stress of it and from holding your breath while answering questions because half of the shit you studied for isn’t on the test??? and like??? american education system whatever bye
  • he doesn’t even have a test that day but he waits outside the room for the hour and a half anyway
    • “you probably aced it babe you’re so smart i bet you did wonderfully i’m so sure of it”
    • “when i go to summer school you’re gonna wanna take those words back peter benjamin parker”
      “shut up let me supportive gosh y/n… anyways wanna go get celebratory donuts, my treat obviously”
    • “yes let’s go right now”
  • so another few days pass and you’re getting the tests back and peter skips the last ten minutes of his advanced english class to linger outside your door so he can be the first to greet you when you leave
  • the bell rings and you’re the last one out 
  • (this is mostly to tease peter because you know he’s outside the door he’s not good at being inconspicuous even if he’s spider-man)
  • you finally come out and he bounds over to you with wide eyes and places his hands on your shoulders 
    • *drmatically* “tell me the news”
    • *sadly* “well i…” *dramatic pause* “acED IT WITH FLYING COLORS PETER I PASSED !!!!!”
    • he practically squeals with happiness and he hugs you so tightly you’re lifted off your feet as he babbles on “oh my gosh i knew you could do it i’m so proud i love you so much you’re so smart i can’t believe i’m with a genius wow”
  • you step back with your mouth sort of agape in shock and peter tilts his head at you in confusion because he didn’t know that he said it just came out like words tend to do with him
    • “peter”
    • “what?????”
    • “you just you loved me”
    • “wait i did” he takes a moment to remember what he said and then he does and he just goes “aw damn it that’s not how i wanted to say it now it’s ruined god damn it”
    • and you’re just like the epitome of the heart eyes emoji because he looks so distraught that he ruined the moment 
    • “peter shut up for a second you dummy i love you so much too”
    • “oH REALLY WOW THAT’S AWESOME
  • he’s a huge dork
  • but you wouldn’t have it any other way because this is the nerd that you love and would love for as long as possible

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Oh, man, LOOK at them all!  This is great!  Not great for the boys, obviously, but it’s cool to see so many Amethysts.  And…

Jaspers!

And who are you, little miss?  Peridot took us on a tour of the Beta kindergarten a ways back, and if this crew is all from Earth…are you a Carnelian?  You sure look like one, and that’s a name that got dropped without us ever seeing a Gem attached to it.

Hot Chocolate

warnings: possible second hand embarrassment 

words: 1,201

pairing: peter parker x reader

request: ok ok how about an au where the reader works at a restaurant or something and peter comes in there a lot JUST TO SEE HER

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i wonder if root was ever as iconic as john was among new yorkers like we know john was “the man in the suit” but was root ever “that one chick who is everyone” like was there a forum for people trying to figure out what the hell she actually did for a living or how she could possibly do all the jobs she’s been seen doing did people just have casual conversation like yeah that one brunette who was our barista last week was my yoga instructor this week and their friend will be like oh cool i just saw her as an italian chef i hope she’s living her dreams

mmogwai  asked:

I am IN LOVE with your Voltron headcanons, they're so funny and accurate. Sooo, I was wondering if you could do some about Shiro and Keith :0

  • believed in aliens before it was cool
    • shiro does because “the universe is incredibly vast and to think that our planet is the only one housing life is incredibly hubristic”
    • keith just. i mean he lived in a shack and sleeps with a knife under his pillow. he is exactly the type of person to believe in aliens
  • anyone: “man, shiro’s so cool” keith: *automatically remembers every embarrassing thing shiro has ever done*
  • shiro won’t let the ‘bonding moment’ thing go
    • he has it memorized down to the voice crack
    • “i hate lance” “but keith” “wait-” “you had a bonding moment! you cradled him in your arms” “MY VOICE DOESN’T SOUND LIKE THAT”
  • shiro and allura are the diplomatic ones, keith’s the one standing behind them ~*casually*~ cleaning his knife
  • there’s “lance, no” but there’s also “keith, no
  • shiro: *lowkey bullies keith into getting a reasonable amount of sleep* also shiro: *sleeps maybe two hours a night*
  • they trade off being the more mature one
  • keith: “hey, I have good ideas!!” shiro: “remember that one time i left you alone and you got kicked out of school and moved to the desert and became a conspiracy theorist”
Cherry Bomb (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Request! 🙌🏽

A/N: This is dedicated to the marvelous @ballerinafairyprincess for requesting this super awesome idea a couple days ago! ❤ I had so much fun writing this!! I’m super jealous I didn’t come up with this! I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! -Delilah ❤❤ 

Request: Hi darling! Can I make a request please? Can you do a Bucky x Reader where they go for milkshakes and she shows him how she can tie the cherry stem into a knot in her mouth (something he has never seen before). And it goes from fluff to smut just like that? 😊 

Warnings: Swearing. Graphic sex. Semi-public sex. Fluffiness. Bucky’s just having a good time.

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Interrogation Techniques

For the anon who requested 45 and 58 with Reid “My eyes are up here.” “It would be a lot easier if you weren’t so attractive.”

Warnings: Some degrading language

‘Type killers’ always got under your skin a little more than random acts of violence. Seeing all those faces that looked eerily similar, murdered just for having the misfortune of sharing traits with someone else long gone. It bothered you even more when you were sitting and staring at a pile of woman who bore a striking resemblance to you.

Your teammates kept a close eye on your for the entire week, which only added to the slight paranoia that came with looking like murder victims. Once the guy was in handcuffs and shoved into an interrogation room you felt a weight you didn’t even realize you were carrying being lifted from your shoulders.

“We still need a confession.” Hotch announced coming into the room that your team was sat in, watching the unsub who seemed far too calm and collected. “We’ve got him on at least two accounts, but a confession for the other four would solidify his prison sentence.” The room was silent for a moment, all of their minds following separate trains of thought, but all arriving at the same station.

“I’ll go in.” You nodded, standing up from the desk you’d previously been stationed at. Spencer, who had been resting beside you shoot up immediately at your words.

“What? No!” You ignored him, turning to face your boss, straightening your back in a way you knew showed your determination. You knew what you had to do; it came with the job.

“Hotch, we all know his chances of talking are considerably higher if I go in and play nice. If you go in and start with that tough guy routine we’re going to move nowhere but backwards.”

“(Y/N) no.” Spencer stated using his firmest voice. His hand gripped at your arm and you continued to ignore him.

“I’ll go in, I’ll be able to catch him off guard, get him talking. If it- I mean if I’m not getting anywhere I’ll come out and you and Morgan can go in and do what you need to do.” Spencer’s hand tightened slightly and you lifted yours up to pat his, not breaking eye contact with Hotch.

“Go in. Play nice. If he gets too… crude. But no information is coming through you get up and you leave or I will come in and remove you myself.” You cocked an eyebrow before nodding and removing yourself from Reid grip.

“Gotcha.” You nodded turned around and swiftly removing the blazer you were wearing and popping open a few buttons on your shirt. You stood up straight and fixed your hair giving yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. When you zoned back in you couldn’t help but smirk slightly.

“My eyes are up here.”  You teased, putting a finger under Spencer’s chin and lifting. He glared. Okay maybe not a time for jokes.

“You’re not meat, (Y/N). Don’t unbutton your shirt for that pervert.” You smiled gently and moved your hand up to pat his cheek.

“You’re sweet Spence, but if it gets a confession out I think I’ll manage. I get similar looks from the creeps that stalk the subway. I’ll manage.” He made a soft noise of protest and you hushed him quickly, “I’ll be okay.”

Thirty seconds later you were swiftly entering the interrogation room, sitting in the chair and keeping your head down as you looked through the files, giving him a moment to really look at you. You felt a bit… dirty. Allowing yourself to be ogled at but when you looked up and caught his staring at you practically licking your slips you had to bite down a smirk. You’d gotten worse. Most women above the age of… well. Birth. Had gotten worse from people passing on the streets. Being leered at for a few minutes would be worth it if it meant this sicko was put away for a long long time.

The first few questions were easy. He answered them gladly, licking his lips from time to time, eyes focused on you. His comments were lude but not obscene. You were making progress.

“Do you know any of these women?” You asked, setting a series of photos out in front of him.

“No.”

“You didn’t look.”

“I’m sorry, Skank. But I can’t seem to focus. It would be a lot easier if you weren’t so damn attractive. Or if you had the decency to button your top.” Your body tensed. The profile pointed to all signs of him wanting to sexual engage his victims, not that their appeal angered him. You opened your mouth to ask again when you heard a shuffle from outside the door.

“Reid!” Emily called as Spencer burst into the room, face flushed with anger. You raised both eyebrows in surprise. Reid quickly approached you, gently grabbing you by the elbow and lifting you from the seat nudging you towards the open door where Emily stood looking shocked.

Spencer turned on the unsub not even waiting to make sure you left and his eyes became a kind of intense you’d never seen before. It was like they were oozing with anger. He’d never looked so intimidating.

“Hello, I’m that Skank’s husband, and I will be finishing your interrogation.” He sneered as you let the door fall shut. You stood completely shocked for a second, mind processing what just happened. Spence rarely ever lost his cool. You waited another moment before you allowed yourself the pleasure of a little smirk. That’s your man.

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I love these trope examples of nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion by @sepulchritude, and so I couldn’t resist drawing them. The best part was coming up with the aliens! :D (Yes centaurs are cool, I don’t see why that’s important.) Hope I did your headcanons proud, @sepulchritude​! 

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“ Ah- they’re actually right! “

i remember when the wonder woman trailer came out and it just showed a glimpse of her climbing that ladder, you know The One, anyways like it just had this feeling that it was leading up to something important and then when watching the movie and the no mans land scene happened and right when she gets on the field theres a slow mo explosion behind her and its not the typical “cool guy walks away from explosion” moment, instead shes walking into a hail of bullets and its the most fucking next level bad ass shit i’ve ever fucking witnessed with my own two eyes like holy shit what a Game Changer what a way to demolish that trope and create something beautiful