no one thought it possible

anonymous asked:

im forever going to be bitter about full sized chocolate bars on halloween. ive never got any in my whole trick or treating career. full sized chocolate bars? in this economy?

Listen, I never thought it was possible either until one halloween when I was like 10, and I was digging around through my haul and my fingers closed around a whole king-sized snickers bar?? I have no idea which house I got it from, it just sort of appeared lmao

Then again that was the only time that ever happened to me in my entire time of trick or treating lol, other than that I’ve never experienced it personally, but the blessings be out there;;;

DOCTOR DREAMY | PT.2 [M]

pt1 | pt2 | (ongoing)

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: smut, fluff, slight angst + expecting parents au

word count: 11,035

request: sperm donor ex-boyfriend jimin

description: Okay, maybe in hindsight asking your ex-boyfriend, who you never really got over, to be your sperm-donor wasn’t the brightest of ideas.

cr. 


six years prior.

“Do you wanna have kids one day?”

Jimin tilted his head as if to ponder the idea before tugging you across the bed until you were leaning against his chest, curious eyes catching your own.  

“Sure, I mean one day. One day, far, far away,” He said, pointing his finger off into the distance jokingly.

You laughed, hand skimming along the back of his neck. “Yeah, me too.”

“Any particular reason why you’re asking?” He said as he began playing with the strands of your hair.

“I dunno,” You shrugged. “We’ve been dating for a long time, just thought that it’s something we should know about each other.”

Jimin nodded, “No, you’re right. It’s kind of something you should figure out before things get too far in the relationship… Guess we waited a bit too long, but we’re on the same page, so that’s good,” He smiled, leaning down to place a short peck against your lips.

“So that means you think that information will be put to good use one day?” You asked, quirking your brow to insinuate.

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So there’s a moment I’ve been wanting to talk about in Extra Game. There are five seconds left on the clock, Akashi is facing down Nash, and he doesn’t think he can make it.

When Kuroko pops out and steals the ball from behind Nash, thus saving the game:

This moment is interesting to me specifically because of Nash’s power, Demon Eye.

Demon Eye allows Nash to see the whole court and every player with the precision of Akashi’s Emperor Eye (it’s ridiculous and I love it). But what else do we know about Nash’s Demon Eye? Very little – Extra Game was very compressed, and didn’t waste much time explaining it. However, we do know about Akashi’s Emperor Eye.

Now, the showdowns between Akashi and Kuroko are little to none. Akashi doesn’t ankle break Kuroko, and Kuroko doesn’t attempt to use misdirection on him (personally, I always thought it was meant to imply their abilities didn’t work on each other, or weren’t useful). There is, however, one notable exception – the only time we ever see Kuroko steal a ball from Akashi. Kuroko’s Quasi Emperor Eye.

According to the rules established in-universe, the only way Kuroko can steal a ball from Akashi is using QEE; so, in order to do the same to Nash, he must use at least QEE to get the ball. And the only person he could have been using that ability with here was Akashi.

Hence: Kuroko has used Quasi Emperor Eye with two people only – once against Akashi, and once with Akashi. Kuroko is so in tune with Akashi in this moment he’s able to predict his movements faster than Akashi himself can. As the manga put it,

“It’s not something [Kuroko] can use on his opponents. He can only use this on his teammates, with whom he’s devoted so much time to building up trust with. However, it’s because he has that trust… that he can see into the future, an instant farther than even Akashi.”

<3

2

“How to love your depressed lover.

Last night I thought I kissed the loneliness from out your belly button. I thought I did, but later you sat up, all bones and restless hands, and told me there is a knot in your body that I cannot undo. I never know what to say to these things. “It’s okay.” “Come back to bed.” “Please don’t go away again.” Sometimes you are gone for days at a time and it is all I can do not to call the police, file a missing person’s report, even though you are right there, still sleeping next to me in bed. But your eyes are like an empty house in winter: lights left on to scare away intruders. Except in this case I am the intruder and you are already locked up so tight that no one could possibly jimmy their way in. Last night I thought I gave you a reason not to be so sad when I held your body like a high note and we both trembled from the effort.
Some people, though, are sad against all reason, all sensibility, all love. I know better now. I know what to say to the things you admit to me in the dark, all bones and restless hands. “It’s okay.” “You can stay in bed.” “Please come back to me again.” -Thank you Donna-Marie Riley for the quote and inspiration, and thank you to my amazing boyfriend for helping these images come to life ❤️

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Four

-A toddler chanted, “I won’t eat. I won’t eat. Bad seafood. Bad seafood.” Despite the many repetitions of this mantra, I was unable to discern whether the child refused to eat the bad seafood, or whether he refused to eat what he was given and demanded bad seafood in its stead.

-A young boy adamantly denied that he had staged a banana fight at home. His mother told me that he had unpeeled all of the bananas in the house, left them on the ground, and threw the peels at everyone in the house. I am not sure whose story I believe more, but I know which I hope is true.

-An incredibly-coordinated child, no more than eighteen months-old, blew me more kisses than I could catch or count, blessing me and my day more than I had thought possible from one so tiny.

-An elderly woman slowly shuffled towards my lane, one finger outstretched inquisitively. Her impressively wide smile never left her face, nor did her impressively wide eyes leave mine. After inching most of the way to my lane like this, she dropped it entirely, moving and acting as normally as a septuagenarian could. I, to this very moment, know not which persona to trust as genuine, and which was the well-constructed ruse.

-I watched as an infant breached multiple layers of zipper-reinforced security and extracted her grandmother’s credit cards from her wallet within her purse without arousing any suspicion nor attention. Recruitment for my heist squad continues to go swimmingly.

-The position of Register Friend has been filled today by a gazelle whom I have named Giselle, as this is both a beautiful name befitting such a beautiful creature as well as the first name that popped into my head.

“The obsession, particularly online, with the homoerotic tension between Sherlock and Doctor Watson… The template for us was the Billy Wilder film The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, which deliberately plays with the idea that Holmes might be gay. We’ve done the same thing, deliberately played with it although it’s absolutely clearly not the case. He’s only a brain, ‘everything else is transport’ to him and John clearly says, “I’m not gay, we’re not together” but the joke is that everyone assumes that in the 21st century that these two blokes living together are a couple– what they wouldn’t’ have assumed in the 19th century. They’d have assumed they were bachelor best friends and now they assume they’re lovers. That’s obviously such fun to play with and the fact that people now assume, in a very positive way, that they’re together is a different joke to it being a negative connotation.”  Mark Gatiss in The Gay Times, February 2012

Hmm, I’m actually not so sure about that. Because I never got this joke (and no, that’s not a generation thing. I’m round about the same age as the show creators). Honestly, to me, two blokes sharing a flat in central London in the 21st century are just two blokes sharing a flat because it’s fucking expensive. I’d never assume anything else.

Even if one of the man was depicted as obviously gay (Girlfriend? Nor really my area. - Boyfriend? I know it’s fine.) - I wouldn’t assume any kind of romatic interest between them. I can’t see a joke there either.

But when their flat sharing gets laden with innuendo? For example, their landlady asking them if they share a bedroom. Another acquaintance taking them for being on a date. Those two blokes gazing at each other as if they were about to eat each other alive. One of the man killing for the other, who, in return, protects him from being prosecuted… Well, then I’d start to assume something’s going on - because it is shown to me and hammered home.

Only, I can’t see a joke there either…

So, what Gatiss described in the above interview wasn’t what happened. They were not just showing us two blokes living together. Because then no one in the 21st century would think of them as a couple. Moffat and Gatiss had to actively insert innuendo for their viewers to catch up on their ‘joke’ in the first place. They encouraged this on many levels: text, acting choices, casting, costume, music, lighting, cinematography.

They actively implemented homoerotic (sub)text in their show - only to lament at the same time that people cought up on it? That some viewers expected something to come out of it. Because, in the 21st century, no one thought it possible that it could just be a lame joke! Because there just is no joke to it.

The viewers took the positive attitude Gatiis desrcibes a step further and expected positive representation from the writers after playing with the inherent homoeroticism of the original stories. The fandom was far more advanced than the show runners, it seems.

And why play with the  homoeroticism it in the first place? I really can’t see where the fun might be in there, apart from cracking some cheap gay jokes that feed an outdated no-homo attitude?

What is there to play with when it’s not an issue anymore? And if it’s still an issue, I’m not sure that making fun of it ist the appropriate approach to it.

36″ x 48″ (M)

word count: 3.6k

genre: smut; idol!verse

pairing: reader/taehyung

warning(s)/kink(s): intercrural sex (thigh fucking) + dirty talk + come play + size kink (?)

a/n: the title is a joke about canvas size, that of which is a large size for one lmao

masterlist

Originally posted by taehyungsource

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Best Friends Forever

Reader x Klaus Mikaelson

*Requested smut, read carefully ;)

Imagine: You are angry because you ex seems to be really hitting it off since you two broke up. In order to help you through it, Klaus Mikaelson, your best friend, shows up in your place. There, he decides to come clean about his own feelings. After that, things get a bit hot in your room.

Word Count: 3043 

A light rain was pouring outside, matching your horrible mood. Today you had the misfortune of bumping into your ex boyfriend, Matt Donovan, and, to make things even worse, he looked like he could not be any happier, babbling about his growing success. Like you wanted to actually know that! Urgh! And that son of a bitch still felt in the right to comment about your life and fucking laugh about it. So what you had been going out and drinking more? It was none of his business.

Taking a deep breath, you turned on the radio. Music helped a lot to discharge the anger and keep your emotions together. Right now, it was exactly what you needed. Luckily, your girl power song was on: Beyoncé’s hit Single Ladies. A smile fastly appeared, as you started to sing and dance along.

“Acting up, drink in my cup! I can’t care less what you think.” You swayed your hips to the tune and rolled your eyes, wishing you were telling him that. “I need no permission, did I mention?”

“I take you are in a good mood, Y/N.”

The singing stopped and strangled scream came out instead. It took a few seconds for you to realise who had barged into your room, invading your privacy. After the fear went off and Klaus was laughing out loud, you frowned, angry. 

“This is not funny. I could have had a heart attack.”

“You’re a banshee, I’m pretty sure you are able to predict your own death.” You narrowed your eyes. “I’m just kidding! I came back town yesterday and heard Matt was at Mystic Falls as well. Thought I’d come to see how you were doing.”

Keep reading

i have this headcanon that by the time all of her grandchildren were born molly weasley was knitting more christmas sweaters than she ever thought possible but still she kept knitting

and one day fleur is looking over the christmas photos from last year and notices that every single person is wearing a weasley christmas sweater… except molly

so that year molly opens her christmas presents from bill, fleur and the kids and there’s a hand-crocheted sweater with an “M” on it from her daughter-in-law don’t fucking look at me

— off limits | 03 (m)

pairing— kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings— slight angst, smut, dirty talk, dom! Jin
words— 10,930

:: summary— you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

 » 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 :: 07 ::

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10

Tony Goldwyn saying ‘Wow’ on Who Do You Think You Are [x] [per request]

what does love mean to me?

what does love mean to me. i’m not really sure i asked myself this question a lot. i didn’t have a childhood filled with love and affection. so i think that my sense of love, the way it looks, how it feels, the way it’s expressed is very warped. for me growing up “love was” a slap in the face. a hole through the wall. it was belittlement and hatred. i didn’t see what love really was until a brown eyed girl walked into my life at easily the most unexpected time. now don’t get me wrong im not here to reminisce about past relationships or things left unsaid. but when she came into my life i had nothing. i was nothing. i was really fucked up. i struggled, i cried, i screamed, and i panicked. i was a mess to say the least.
but she learned to love that mess, the tornado that i was, that i always believed i would be, destroying everything and everyone in my path. its why i always said i couldn’t love anyone, let alone be loved by anyone. to be told i love you 18 days after the first time you meet someone is crazy right? at least i thought it was. but i was wrong. i thought no one could possibly love me after that short amount of time she doesnt know anything about me yet. but the walls crumbled down one by one. i fell along with them. but she did her best to pick me back up. she spent over 400 days loving me. and in those 400 days i saw love. for the first time in my life i saw love for what it really was. i mean love in every sense of the form, to me love is the way her parents cheered at her games, or the way that they laughed endlessly playing stupid boardgames, love is pushing someone to be the best version of themselves, love is the way i found friends in people i thought i hated. love is trusting. love is letting go. love is crazy, unexplainable, and unimaginable. i learned that love, in that time whether it be picking you up off the bathroom floor, stopping you from jumping off the top of a parking garage, or may it be writing your final flashcards with you, or staying up until 3 am watching criminal minds in a fort built in the living room. love is unconditional. love is love. love means going all in even if it means you’re going to get hurt. because in the end its the only thing worth getting hurt for.

he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown

zimbits not!fic

(read on ao3)

There’s a reason that Jack Zimmermann never lets anyone look at his phone. (And contrary to what some of the Falconers rookies might think, it’s not because he’s hiding porn on there.)

After he and Bitty started dating, Jack took pictures of Bitty whenever he could get away with it. Bitty never let him keep the pictures he saw, so Jack had learned to take quiet photos in loud moments. One picture, his favorite, was of Bitty in the kitchen. He’s got flour all over his shirt (there may or my not be handprints on his legs), and he’s half turned toward Jack, smiling blindingly. He looks happy, happier than Jack would have ever thought it possible for one tiny human to be.

Jack made it his lockscreen the morning after he took it.

He’s not stupid! As much as he would love to have that boy beam at him as soon as he turned on the phone, he keeps it hidden behind a password and pages of apps.

Of course, sometimes he can’t helping making heart eyes at his phone screen. He is dating Bitty, after all. (Dating!!!! Sometimes he can’t believe it) So far, he’s been quick enough to lock his phone before anyone can grab it from him.

He takes Bitty to family skate. Most of the team knows by now, and the ones that don’t are abruptly informed by the way Jack and Bitty share quick kisses on the ice. Marty takes him aside later, and doesn’t say anything to him. He does pause for a moment before giving him a hug that Jack is almost too shocked to return. He tells Bitty about it later. (Completely by coincidence, three of Marty’s favorite pies show up in his locker later that week.)

Jack definitely gets more careless after the whole team’s met his boyfriend. So one day, when Snowy grabs his phone and he can’t lock it in time, he laughs and sits back. The whole team crowds around the phone as Snowy ceremoniously presses the home button. Jack thinks he hears Tater squeal before the whole team begins to chirp him.

Poots shyly tells him later that Jack and Bitty make a good couple, and he’s glad that Jack is happy with him. Jack smiles and asks if he’d like to come to the Haus for dinner that Saturday.

You're my best friend

I just got my hair cut and I’m feeling overly emotional, and I don’t know how these two things relate, but here have some sterek.

They have been together for a while now. They just got their first apartment together, and saying that both of them were high on love (for each other) and hope (for a new happy life) would be quite the understatement.

There had been a time when either of them had thought that they could never have the other, that after Derek left they would never find each other again, and they had never even thought possible that one day they could have a place, a home together. And yet, here they were.

They just finished mounting their new bed, and Stiles falls on the bare mattress with a satisfied “oof” Derek following shortly after him.

And it’s then that somehow it hits Stiles. It hits him so hard and so suddenly that he’s so overwhelmed with it that his eyes burn and he wants to yell it at the top of his lungs, but at the same time the emotion is so strong that clogs up his throat, and he can barely manage to speak.

So, he just makes a small noise (all he can muster right now) and rolls over to Derek’s side, throwing one arm over Derek’s body and burying his face into Derek’s neck.

Derek huffs out a surprised laugh, but promptly starts rubbing his back soothingly.

“Derek,” Stiles mumbles, when he finds his voice again.

Derek hums questioningly and Stiles hugs him close, a little bit tighter, before he gets out of his hiding spot and looks up at his boyfriend.

“You’re my best friend.” He says, all intense, earnest and sincere eyes.

Because it’s true. Yes, Scott is the friend he knew longer, they had their high and lows and highs again, and he’s like a brother, but that’s just it, Scott is his brother.

Derek is his best friend.

Derek is the person that he thinks about first when he’s thought of a stupid joke and wants to share it with someone. Derek is the one he looks for when he wants to tell someone about what his favourite character is going through, even if it’s a show or a book that Derek hasn’t watched yet. Derek is the name on his lips when he wants to tell or show someone how he managed to do something, even if it’s just as ordinary and banal as Stiles managing to doodle a real-looking wolf shadow, he knows that even if his first reaction would be to roll his eyes, he’d do so smiling in that warm way that always tell Stiles so many things. Like how loved he is, and how Derek is proud of him, even for the little things. And Derek is the one that he glances up to look at before he even knows why.

And that’s why he hates fighting with him so much, because he’s fighting with his boyfriend and best friend. And really, there’s no one in his life that can match with everything that Derek means to him. Derek is his special person, everyone has their special person, don’t they?

And Derek is Stiles’ person.

And yes, Derek is his boyfriend, and they had already said their ‘I love you’s to each other a long time ago, but Derek is also, and maybe most importantly, Stiles’ best friend too, and Stiles really needs him to know that.

“You’re my best friend,” he repeats, because he needs him to understand.

And of course, because Derek is his everything plus his best friend, smiles small and understanding, before he leans down to kiss him on the corner of his mouth, feather-light and all softness, and whispers “you’re my best friend, too.”

And Stiles knows that Derek understands, because he can see in his eyes that Stiles is his person too.

Keep reading

Kim Jongin//Pop Up

Summary: The story of how you met a teleporter, lost a boy, and found out more than you figured you ever would about the world, yourself, and Jongin.
Scenario: teleportation!au, fluff, angst
Word Count: 7,285

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2

Shiro just generally has unfortunate ship name possibilities.

[14]

AND IF YOU LOOK TO YOUR LEFT YOU WILL SEE OUR NEWEST EXHIBIT LABELLED “GENUINE FEELINGS OF SURPRISE ON A GRUMPY NINJA”.

I absolutely love how this bit of the conversation plays out too, though. The panel zooms all the way out for Kurogane’s questions, because that’s as close as we’re going to get. WE don’t get to see the concern on Kurogane’s face when he asks about Tomoyo’s well-being, because those don’t belong to us yet. Those are still private things for Kurogane, and only these specific circumstances are letting him properly voice them. 

And the way Piffle Tomoyo chooses to reply isn’t with any guarantees of her safety, because it was a year ago, and Kurogane would see through any empty assurances in a heartbeat. Tomoyo knows what this moment means, so she’s completely and utterly honest in a way that still stays true to what he wants to hear: she looked happy - or more specifically, she enjoyed herself the most when she was talking about him. AND KUROGANE EXPECTS THAT SHE WAS TROLLING HIM BECAUSE HE KNOWS HER VERY WELL, but that wasn’t the case, and instead he gets a compliment he was never expecting. 

Tomoyo sent him away on this journey very abruptly without giving him any chance to adjust to the reasons WHY she was sending him away. But here Kurogane gets the message that she wasn’t just banishing him outright or doing it out of spite, but because she truly believes in him and thinks he will grow into a truer and stronger version of himself. 

Which is what he always wanted in his own misguided way. He wanted strength, which he equated with murder at the time. But now Tomoyo has not only given him the path to true strength, but she honestly believes that he can achieve it the proper way, and that was a vote of confidence he might not have been expecting. 

OH MAN. 

SO. ON TOP OF ALL THAT

On top of HIS Tomoyo’s care and belief and her gift of putting him in the position to achieve what he always wanted (but had fallen out of sync with), Piffle Tomoyo goes back and addresses her original question. Kurogane’s wound. 

And this time Kurogane doesn’t deflect or resist. He accepts Tomoyo’s gentle comfort. 

That in itself is a huge step, but it’s a metaphor in itself. The entire thing is a mirror.

Piffle Tomoyo hurt Kurogane physically - but she’s taking responsibility, providing him the comfort that only she can, and encouraging him to heal.

Kurogane’s Tomoyo did the same thing, but on a much larger scale. She hurt him emotionally - which, because this is Kurogane, is a very hard thing to gauge in the first place (and this in itseld is reflected through his refusal to take off the glove or admit that he was hurt). 

(But we know it does.) 

And through Piffle Tomoyo’s words, his Tomoyo is reaching back out to him. She’s accepting responsibility for what she did by sending him away, but she’s providing the kind of comfort that could ONLY come from her. 

More than all of that, she wants him to heal. 

And at the core of it all, that’s what Kurogane’s journey has been about right from the very start.

And now he might actually begin to do it.