no one requested this i just want it

5

Yoongi (MinSuga/talkswithsuga&hope) 6.9 million subs/ 4.3 million subs

  • So Yoongi would have a channel kind of like Namjoon’s 
  • there would be tips and how to’s on everything and anything to do with music, live performances, and covers
  • and he started this series on his channel where he would just talk
  • he’d just talk about random things having to do with music and such
  • and people realized 
  • hey this guy is smart, i wonder what his view on other things is 
  • and people requested that
  • so he started doing talks about other things, like politics, his favorites things that month, and other stuff like that
  • and people suggested he made a separate channel
  • and so he thought why not
  • he called the channel talkswithsuga and he uploaded video a every Wednesday
  • he talked about things currently happening in the world, news, places he wants to travel one day and just random stuff like that 
  • he even brings guests on the podcast, like Rap Monster, JungKook, and Jin
  • but mostly he brings on Hoseok
  • and while people had seen the others on his main channel before, they’d never seen Hoseok
  • so it was a surprise to say the least
  • and Yoongi had Hoseok on the podcast so much, it came to the point where he was in every video
  • and after a year of him being in the videos, yoongi thought it was time to add his name to the channel
  • and then was born talkswithsuga&hope
  • and there was videos about really deep conversations and just ones where they had fun
  • like
  • what comes after death?
  • reading our palms and tarot cards
  • reading weird fanfiction
  • conspiracy theories #5
  • and just cool stuff like that
  • and literally everyone thinks they’re dating, but they don’t even know themselves
  • they both know they like each other? 
  • but nothing has happened?
  • so?
  • Yoongi’s is just really confused, okay? 

So i went on a Jenna and Julien podcast binge and this happened. Yeah. 

others

Jin (EATJIN)

Namjoon (Joonmonster) 

anonymous asked:

could you do tom smut based on the song attention by charlie puth

And included another request in this: TOM HOLLAND FEMALE READER SMUT PLEASE I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE! two birds one stone, am I right? ;D


(sorry for the long wait! Hope this makes up for it!)

Originally posted by hollandoakes


WARNING: TOMHOLLANDXFEMALEREADER SMUT

//You just want attention

You don’t want my heart

Maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new

Yeah, you just want attention

I knew from the start

You’re just making sure I’m never gettin’ over you, oh//

Taking another swig from his beer, Tom kept eye contact with you from across the room. He watched as you danced with who you pleased, getting up close and personal. He knew what you were doing, you had always been like this even when you had been together, you just want attention. Yet Tom was here, playing your game, giving you everything you wanted.

Keep reading

Holy fuck! I thought when Lily got a boyfriend slutty pictures like this would stop, but this has to be one of the best pics of her fat arse she’s ever posted!
God I’m in love with Lilys big juicy bum and posting pics like this when she’s got a boyfriend just proves what a slut she is, she clearly wants one of us to give that arse of hers a pounding!
Summer sluts!
DM me to request more pics of your favourite girl or to do a cum tribute for me.

Batch Request: Ego

“Wow, watch out, we have a very important person among us!”

“I gave them one compliment and I could practically see their ego inflate.”

“It’s not my fault none of you can appreciate such a fine specimen that is me.”

“If they knew I was hiding from them, they won’t let it go. They seem to think that everyone must like them.”

“Apparently they’re sulking because I didn’t agree with them.”

“Where do they even keep all that ego?”

“I just want people to appreciate me as much as I do. As is deserved.”

“Your jealousy of my everything is seeping through.”

Silly you.

Hi! I have been so busy lately, I hardly ever posted anything that wasn’t on queue. I finally have some time today and hopefully; I can get through some more requests. As per usual, this is a gentle reminder that: yes, requests are open until stated otherwise and I will get to your requests as soon as I can. This was inspired by a comic strip that I found when I was looking up recipes for potato egg salad (I want to make some for dinner!) and it just became like this. Hope you enjoy it! 


Sometimes the two of you argue about the silliest things. When you think about it, it always manages to make you blush in embarrassment and laugh at how most of the arguments started. Out of all the stupidest things Jason and you argue about, it had to be that one time when you were sun-tanning at the back of your house, eating boiled eggs – you were craving for some boiled eggs that week – and making sure your Alaskan Malamute – Hood, very original name from Jason – is getting the exercise he needs. You had been about to sit up when one of your boiled eggs rolled off of your plate and fell on top the chair before falling to the ground.

You gasp, setting as the now empty plate on to your table and is about to reach for the fallen egg – you reckon if you wash it, it will still be alright – when Hood races towards you and gobbled up the egg right before you. He barks happily and puts two of his front paws on your thighs, reaching forward to lick your face before rushing off to run around again.

Jason walks out of the house to see you looking extremely annoyed and sad at the same time so he approaches you. “What’s got your panties in a twist?” He asks, sitting down beside you.

You turn to face your boyfriend. “Hood just stole my egg.”

Jason raises one of his eyebrows, looking at you for further explanation. “What?”

You repeat your previous answer. “My egg fell off my plate to the chair and on to the ground!” You explain and Jason nods his head. “Hood took it right before I could even reach it and now it’s gone!” Your voice is starting to raise in volume now and Jason looks at you as if you had another head coming out of your shoulders.

“So? It’s just an egg, babe. Hood eats anything and everything he feels like.” Jason glances at Hood who is currently rolling around on the grass. No matter how many times the both of you tried to manage Hood’s diet, he somehow manages to destroy what effort the both of you have put in.

“It’s not just an egg, Jay! I wanted to eat that egg!” You exclaim, starting to get annoyed about how nonchalant your boyfriend of four years is being and Jason turns to look back at you again. “Why can’t you be considerate to my feelings, Jay? I really wanted to eat the egg!” You cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at Jason.

Jason is slightly taken aback by your expression. “Babe, it’s just an egg – why are you getting so worked up about this?” Sometimes he really wonders what goes on in your head. “If it means so much to you, I’ll boil one egg for you, okay?” He stands up, shaking his head. “It’s just an egg, Y/N. Come on.” He picks up your plate and holds on to your arm before tugging you back inside the house.

You pout and sat by the counter, watching Jason move about the kitchen. He poured water in to a pot and waited for it to boil before placing the egg inside. As the minutes tick by, you are slowly starting to realize just how much of a jerk you had been and honestly, you should not really be surprised by Hood stealing your food – you know Jason feeds him chicken and baby carrots topped with peanut butter, every now and then – he does it all the time. Like one time, the two of you got him a new bed and guess who didn’t sleep on his new bed at all? That’s right, Hood. But that’s another story for another day.

When the egg is boiled, Jason even went as far as peeling it open for you. He sliced the egg in half before drizzling them with some warm olive oil and sprinkled it with flavored sea salt and fresh-ground black pepper. He brings the plate over to you and places it in front of you.

You blink a couple of times at his sweet gestures. “I’m an idiot.” You tell him as you reach for the plate.

Jason rolls his eyes before chuckling affectionately. “Yeah, well, I’m the idiot that’s dating the idiot.” He tells you cheekily, causing you to laugh.

See, sometimes the arguments the two of you have – though half of the time, it is you who tend to blow things out of proportions – are just the silliest but you know, you will never trade it for anything else in the world.

*A Big Surprise* Newt x reader

◘ anonymous asked:

Are your requests open? If so could you writing and image when the Reader is pregnant and they tell (in some really cute way like she surprises him with a baby creature) Newt and he’s really happy and it’s really fluffy and cute. Thank you

❤ Last story for tonight! Hope you guys enjoy this one!!! Also, I hope you don’t mind that I took creative liberty in this one. Wasn’t sure if you wanted the baby creature surprise or if that was just an idea. Anyway, this popped in to my head and I liked it I hope you do too!

Two days had passed since the news of your pregnancy had been confirmed and you still hadn’t told your husband, Newt, yet. It wasn’t that you were scared or afraid he’d be upset. It was because you wanted to tell him in a special way.

Newt was currently down within his case and you were up in the living room beside the fire doing one of your many favorite past times: knitting. You had learned the craft from your grandmother who taught you when you were younger. Of course your family usually used charms so that knitting needles did the work themselves, your grandmother always enjoyed the calm and relaxing feeling it brought her and wanted to pass it down to you.

You had a few skeins of yarn you had picked up days prior, and decided that you would make tiny booties for your soon to be girl or boy. Since the gender was unknown, you settled upon yellow. 

As your record player hummed soft tunes throughout the room, you carefully strung the yarn around the needles and carefully began following the pattern your grandmother had given you. 

Newt stumbled in to the room, dirt along his face and his hair a dis-sheveled mess. His eyes landed upon you and he thought nothing of what you were doing. You had made clothing before; most of it being for his creatures. You’d recently put together a tiny sweater for the niffler to wear while recovering from a cold.

The wizard quickly cleaned himself up before taking a seat beside you and warming up to the fire. The winter air outside blew against the window and it shook a bit, causing you to look up. 

“What are you making this time, love?” 

“Oh, just some booties…” 

Newt smiled as he watched your delicate fingers swing the yarn over one needle and pul it with the other. It was oddly entrancing and he watched silently for a few moments. 

“Who are they for this time? I think the niffler has enough treasure both shiny and hand knitted to last him a life time.”

You giggled as you rested in to his side, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you in close. 

“No.” you replied. “These aren’t for him this time.”

“Oh?” Cocking his head to the side, the wizard questioned which of his creatures could wear such small little booties. “I don’t think they’ll fit, Pickett, love.” He chuckled. 

You rolled your eyes at his joke and bit your lip nervously. Now was the time to tell him. But how? Were you just supposed to blurt it out or were you supposed to lead up to it with a small comment?

Newt noticed your expression and lowered his head a bit so his eyes were level with yours.

“Everything alright love?”

“Yes! Yes…” Your heart beat rapidly within in your chest and you kept your eyes fixated on your task. As the moments passed you felt more and more nervous and you found yourself dropping stitches and having to trace back to fix them.

“Come to think of it, “Newt began,” I think these would look lovely on Frank. In a larger size of course.”

“Well, I’ll make sure to make him a matching pair when I finish these then.” You replied. 

“Matching?”

You nodded, looking up at him and continuing. “Yes. A matching pair to go with our little creature.”

The words seemed to take a moment to sink in but as you searched Newt’s expression, his eyes suddenly locked with yours and the biggest smile you had ever seen spread across his freckled face. 

“You… you mean…” His hand came to rest on your belly and you placed your hand over his. You set the knitting needles down as you turned to face him. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he looked at your intertwined hands placed over where your child was. A teary laugh escaped his lips as he brought his sea foam eyes up to yours.

“I’m… we’re… we’re going to be parent’s?”

You nodded and watched as Newt continued to take in the news. His arms wrapped you up and he placed a kiss to your lips. His was so overcome by joy he didn’t know what to do.

“How long have you known?”

“About two days. I wanted to wait for the perfect moment to tell you.”

“Two days?” He breathed out. “Y/N… I’m so overjoyed.” The wizard pressed his lips to yours again and lingered there. There was nothing more that he wanted to have a child with you and raise it.

As your lips parted, Newt cupped your face in his hands and brought your foreheads together and said, “You better get more yarn, love. Once the creatures see Frank with matching booties, they’re all going to want some.”


TAG LIST: @infinite-exist-once  @pocketcow @hunger-games-imagineers
@gdmora @irlus @silverwingedfox @feyreaelinmaas @barbarachern@blackrose22-0hokulaune320 @demigodgirl91 @sharon6713 @lulurebhuhn2@nour-adeeb@myboyjarpad @endergirlz224 @its-onepiece @fluffylemonjuice@gondorgirl01 @demigodgirl91@omgunicornsarebae @ever-faithful-sidekick@im-disgustingly-vain @muggleno-maj @carlylynnmikaelsonscamander @savvythedork @itsmhayward @peyhag @cagley12 @166869

anonymous asked:

“i’m in love with you but i don’t want you to hurt me.” With Genji and Mccree <3

I shall post the Genji one later for you~ <3


Originally posted by meilingziegler

Mccree “I’m in love with you… but I don’t want you to hurt me”

Biting your lip, you frowned and brought to cross over your chest. Turning away, you let your soft hair fall in front of your face as your heart felt as if it may burst at any moment. You couldn’t believe those words had just past your lips - you mean’t it but.. should you have said it? Panic racing through your body, you dropped your head as thick tears began to roll your cheeks. “Honeypie…” you heard Mccree whisper from somewhere behind you. His voice cracked slightly at your words. Refusing to turn around to face the cowboy, you hid your face in your hands as your shoulders shook a little. 

“Geez.. I… fuck”. Turning away from you, Jesse leant on the banister behind you and took his hat off. Tugging at the old leather in his fingers, he stared out onto the wide landscape of Texas - the sun setting in the large orange sky, casting a soft glow on the sandy mountains below. Frowning, Jesse took one last puff of his cigar before flicking it off the balcony. As he walked back up to you, he paused a moment watching your quivering body before wrapping his large arms around you. Pressing his lips to the back of your neck, you felt his beard tickle your skin. “I promise I’ll never hurt you darlin’..” he murmured, pain laced in his own voice, “You’re one of the most precious things in my entire life.. it’d kill me to see you hurt.. I..”. 

Wiping away the last tears, you turned to face him. His tanned face was riddled with sadness, his dark eyes staring at the floor - honestly Jesse looked like a kicked puppy. Taking his face in your hands, you brought your foreheads together. “I..” Jesse continued, his eyes flashing up to meet yours, “I will never let anything hurt you. I value your life over mine and I shall do anything to protect you.. and if it means leaving you to protect you from me.. I understand”. Standing up upright, Jesse wrestled his hat back on his head , tipping it slightly at you before shuffling away sadly. 

You watched his shoulders drop as he walked away, his boots dragging along the floor as you swear you could hear soft whimpers. “Jesse, wait”. Rushing towards him, you grabbed his gloved hand and yanked him back - smashing your lips against yours as his eyes widened in surprise. Your lips slid against his and slowly, he moved closer to you, gently resting his hands on your hips. Pulling away, you smiled sadly as you stroked his cheek. “Please don’t go Jesse..” you whispered breathlessly, “I love you.. I.. I just -”. “I love you too and I promise i’ll never hurt you” Jesse mumbled, bringing you to his chest and placed his chin on your head in a loving embrace

Roommates - Derek Hale imagine

Room mates

Requested by @julieanncupcake

imagine with Derek and y/n liking each other but they don’t know it.

I’m sorry it’s quite a short one but if you enjoyed it I’ll do a part 2.

Warnings: Angry Derek but other than that not really just lots of fluff and cuteness

Note: I’m really new to this so sorry if it’s not how you wanted it, I tried 💕


Y/N POV “Good morning” I sing while running down the stairs of mine and my roommates small apartment, running late as usual for my job at a cafe.

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

“Morning” Derek smiles back with his usual cheerful laugh, his forest green eyes glistening in the morning sunshine, I notice today his stubble is more noticeable Derek always look sexier with a beard “breakfast?!” Derek snaps me out of my thoughts, was I staring? “N-no thank you I’m kinda running late I’ve got 10 minutes till my shift starts” he nods and his face drops “thank you for the offer though I would have if my boss wasn’t such a jerk” I apologised, he looked up at me causing butterflies in my stomach to erupt ‘how could a human being look so much like a angel he was beautiful’

“oh is she one of those really strict bosses” he inquired suspiciously “yes, well no he’s a he but he’s very strict” I replied. “I’ll drop you off” he urges after a few thoughtful seconds, did he pity me, no he’s just that kind, I’d met a few of his friends Stiles, the skinny, pale and sarcastic one. Scott the sweet tall mature one and Malia the beautiful, funny and weird one. At first I was jealous of Malia when Derek had introduced me to her although I don’t have any right to be jealous as me and Derek are only roommates but I was glad when he mentioned she’s his cousin. I remembered how stiles always called Derek a sour wolf, I never understood why he said that I’ve only ever seen Derek cheerful and kind.

“Are you sure I don’t mind catching the bus” I asked, although I enjoyed every second I spent with Derek and prayed for longer moments with him “of course, I’m free all day today” he protested with a shy smile, collecting his car keys and leather jacket while opening the door open for me “ladies first”

Originally posted by iminlovewithderekhale

he grins with that heart aching smile that made me explode inside. I walk out mouthing a “thank you” as he smiled back, I liked Derek a lot! But I never had the guts to ever mention my feelings towards him, Derek was a straight 10 and I was a 3 on a good day and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.

“Is it okay if I park here? Is it close enough”

“ yes! Thank you soo much Derek I’ll see you after work” I quickly rush out looking at the time on my wrist “3 minutes late oh no” I mutter to myself running into the cafe.

Derek’s POV “Yes! Thank you so much Derek, I’ll see you after work” And her beautiful face is gone, I gulp at her sudden disappearance wishing I could spend more time with her, I knew she liked me, every time she saw me her heart beat raced like a sports car, her chemosignals would go crazy with nervousness when I got too close or accidentally made any physical contact with her, but she was so pure and innocent, naïve and kind I couldn’t bring myself to admit my feelings for her and risk her being dragged into the supernatural business and getting hurt. As I’m about to drive off I glance over where she was sat and notice her iPhone on the seat. I smile at y/n’s clumsiness always forgetting and dropping things, without thinking I grab her phone and run into the small cafe across the street.

I look around the crowded cafe unable to find Y/N, I use my wolf senses and at first only smell the strong coffee until I come across Y/Ns scent also picking up her chemo-signals, she’s scared and hurt, anger and frustration overcomes me as I barge past the groups of people trying too find her, until I come across her standing their crying, she doesn’t notice me standing there and neither does the male in front of her, his face red with anger

“I-I-I’m so sorry Johnny it won’t h-happen again” she sniffled, I feel a pain in my heart at Y/Ns sight so hopeless and scared, as I’m about to walk up to Y/N the man grabs her hand and pushes her, before whatever vile words he was about to say I grab him by his collar and push him against the wall


“if you ever, EVER TOUCH HER AGAIN I WILL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT WITH MY TEETH” “Oh my g- Derek Derek stop it’s okay” Y/N quickly comes by my side and tries to calm me down “DONT YOU DARE EVEN LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND” I warn him and see the terror in his eyes knowing I’ve done my job “Derek?” Y/N whimpers and puts a hand gently on my shoulder, I look at her and see her eyes full of tears “let’s go please?” I nod gently and releases the terrified man from under my grip and straighten his shirt out as a warning gesture before leaving holding Y/Ns hand.

When we get to the car she’s silent but I can tell she’s still hurt.


Y/Ns POV When we reach the car I’m lost in my thoughts replaying Derek’s words again and again in my mind 'girlfriend’? Did he really call me his girlfriend or was that just something he said in the heat of the moment…

“can I see your hand?” Derek softly asks before reaching his hand out, I nod and he continues to check my hand “did he hurt you? I’m sorry that’s a stupid question of course he did. Where did he hurt you?” Derek mumbles trying to calm himself yet the anger still in his voice. “ honestly I’m okay it was just a little pu” “Is this his first time? has he done this before? Has he ever tried to touch you in any other way?” He cuts me off before I can finish my sentence, judging by his facial expression I can tell he’s uncomfortable at the thought I don’t say anything and he slams his hands against the steering wheel causing me to flinch at the impact it had which caused the whole car to vibrate,

“ I should go back there and.. and kill him!” Derek growled, id never seen this side of Derek and it was making me scared I shift in my seat and Derek notices as the anger in his face softens to guilt “I-I’m sorry Y/N that you had to see this side of me it’s just that I care about you a lot and I feel protective over you and when I saw that idiot hurting you I didn’t think I just” he pauses thinking what to say “that’s okay Derek I understand you feel protective over me.. I know in only the friend sort of way…” I start to fidget with my hands looking away from Derek as I try to hold back my tears, my emotions getting the best of me. “Hey hey hey no don’t cry, please?” He cups my face and faces me towards him, the feeling of him touching me making me feel worse as a reminder that he’ll never be mine making me sob even more and suddenly Derek’s lips are attached to mine catching me off guard shocked at his sudden action I freeze not knowing what to do but my lips automatically started to kiss back with the same rhythm as Derek’s lips, I feel his tongue try to gain access and give him the entrance he was requesting.


seconds later he pulls away his hands still attached to my face and puts his forehead against mine and whispers “I’ve been wanting to do that for a very long time Y/N” I look up into his eyes and see no hesitance in his eyes at is words “you have?” I gasped and he smiles nodding back at my reaction, I pull away from him and playfully slap his arm “then why didn’t you do it sooner I’ve been waiting for YOU to do that for a very long time too” I laughed, “now, do you want to go get some breakfast?” Derek asks nervously, “ are you asking me out Mr. Hale?” I joke “well yes I am Miss. Y/L/N” he mimicks back and smiles at me and in this second I couldn’t wish for anything more “I would love too” I smile back at him and he starts to drive with a grin as wide as a highway plastered on his face.

No more babies

This wasn’t requested it’s just a little idea I had! The premise is getting lectured with Carl by Fiona because she walks in on you guys, kinda similar to my last one but also kind of not IDKDKDK also this sucks and is very short and I just wanted to get something else posted

Word Count: 958

Originally posted by lip-gallaghers-bae

You had been friends with Carl for most of your life and you always seemed to be at the Gallagher house. You had never viewed Carl romantically until one night, in a drunken-high haze, you lost your virginities to each other. From that point on you guys were in a relationship. Even though it was surprising and unexpected, your relationship was great. You both really liked each other and were comfortable from your years of friendship.

You would often show up to his house unexpectedly and this was one of those days. You didn’t bother to knock, this house almost felt like your own. Upon opening the door, you were greeted with the typical Gallagher noise level. You spot Ian and Lip on the couch watching TV. The TV is on but they seem more interested in their conversation and their beers than whatever the Chicago news has to offer. Lip turns his head slightly and just points upstairs. He understands your here to see Carl, and he understands what your planning to do. Lip was the only one who knew for sure that you guys slept together, he has walked in on it multiple times. Everyone else just assumes but can’t confirm it.

You gave him a slight hand wave and walk up the stairs slowly. You crack open the door to Carl’s room and see him sitting on his bed scrolling through his phone. He is facing the door but doesn’t notice you when you first walk in. 

“Hey, White Chocolate.” You say laughing, You like to tease him by bringing up his gangster phase nicknames. His head shoots up and at first he glares, but then he smiles when he realizes its you.

“Stooooppp.” He groans out and he opens his arms for you. You walk over and sit across his lap horizontally. 

Keep reading

Don’t Forget


 (requested by anon)
Kai Parker x Reader
word count 
: 3 912
summary : Reader goes back to Mystic Falls for Tyler’s funeral and returns home to Kai , finding a very unexpected scene happening in their living room.
* gif by  * gif by fondu-with-downey
keep reading after the cut😉 
to the anon who requested the amnesia one : not sure if this is what you wanted but hope you like it anyways 😊

____________________________

“It’s just a short trip back to Mystic Falls.” she said , placing her hands on Kai’s shoulder. “I’ll be back before you know it. I need to say goodbye to Tyler.”
The night before Matt had called her to tell her the news - Damon had killed Tyler because of a siren controlling him. Her life had always had supernatural creatures in it but a siren was a completely new one. They were a myth. Or at least thats what she had always thought. Clearly all the myths were true. Her friends were vampires , witches , werewolfs , hybrids , siphoners and her boyfriend of four years Kai Parker was a vampire/witch , a heretic.
“I want to come with you.” he insisted again. “It’s not safe.”
“When has it ever been safe.” she laughed nervously. “You know you can’t come. If you do they -”
“I can cloak myself.” he said , sounding more determinated by the second. “They won’t even know I am there.”
“Kai … we don’t know what that siren can do.” sighed Y/N. “What if she can see you when you are cloaked ?”
“Then I will snap her neck in an instant , grab your hand and run.” he added sounding a little amused. “Just like four years ago.”
“A siren is not Damon.” she interjected. “And as far as Matt has told me , she stays dead for 0.001 seconds. Also I don’t want to risk you getting sirened by her…”
“Are you jealous of a potential scenario that might happen ?” he asked looking at her with curious eyes.
“No.” she lied.
“Liar.” said Kai , scooping her up into his arms and backing her against the wall near by the door. His lips pressed against hers , drowning her in a deep passionate kiss. Her fingers tangled in his hair , pulling him closer. Far too soon to her liking he let her feet down on the ground taking a step away from her , not caring her feet felt like jelly. Kai had a grin on her face , hearing how her heart was racing so fast as if trying to leap out of her chest. “Damn , I love that look in your eyes… You want more of me don’t you ?”
Y/N ran her fingers roughly through her hair , shaking her head avoiding his smoky blue eyes. He took a step towards her , until her back pressed against the wall again. His body was so close she was starting to lose focus.
“Admit it.”
“Admit what ?” she said innocently as if she had no idea what he was talking about. “Will you walk me to the car ?”
Kai smiled taking her hand , looking at the ring on her finger and a smile spread across his face. “Of course , sweetheart.”
He grabbed her backpack and they walked outside. Y/N unlocked the backseat door , tossing her backpack on it and turned towards Kai pulling him in for a long deep kiss.
“I will always want more.” she said , getting in the car. “I love you.”
“Love you more.” said Kai , watching Y/N’s car pull out of their house’s driveway and down the street.

* * *

THREE DAYS LATER …

Longest three days ever. she thought as her car pulled on their driveway. The funeral hadn’t gone without hiccups but Y/N was glad she had made it out of Mystic Falls in one pierce. Having Kai away from her for such a long time felt like hell , as if a part of her - a severely large part - was missing. It was still there but it was somehow not there at the same time. Y/N grabbed her backpack , rummaging through the pockets for her keys. She wanted to surprise Kai , getting home a few hours earlier than expected, and just before the big storm that was rolling in. The sky was covered with dark clouds and thunders rumbled from the distance , the usual slight breeze had started turning into a strong wind , bringing the smell of rain along with it. Usually around that time of the day he was rarely home but even with that knowledge in mind , she slipped the key into the lock as quietly as possible. The door was unlocked which only happened when he was at home. After spending so much time alone in the Prison World without the need to lock doors , this kept happening in the real world.
“Kai ?” she called out smiling , taking a step into the house.

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Headcanon: Damian Wayne

I wasn’t sure if you wanted an imagine or a headcanon so I just went with the latter! Never really gave much thought about a vampire!AU but after doing this, it seems really fun! Perhaps maybe in the future I should try to explore this. Thank you for sending in your request and hope you enjoy this!


  • You have never seen or met anyone who has treated you with the same amount of respect Damian gives you. That’s one of the reasons you had agreed to test the waters together with Damian. Damian knows what he wants in life and he wants to spend it with you which is why he had pursued you in the first place.
  • The Wayne family is a family of aristocracy so Damian has impeccable manners and when you are with him, chivalry is never dead. Damian will open and hold the doors for you, pull out your chairs, make sure you aren’t cold if the two of you are going out late at night. He even brings your favourite flowers almost all the time whenever the two of you meet up.
  • Damian isn’t a fan of PDA and at most, if you are in public, he will stand close to you just so your shoulder will brush against his and at the very most, he leaves kisses at the back of your hand. You don’t really mind his aversion to public display of affection but it’s what Damian very lovable. At least, when the two of you are away from the eyes of public, he is very affectionate and is almost always touching your hand, or holding your hand, hugging you even.
  • Damian likes giving you forehead kisses.
  • Damian is also very proud of you and very supportive of whatever you choose to do in your life. He pays a lot of attention to whatever stories you tell him about college, or work or high school. He is also very insightful too so you tend to get really good advice from him. He also never lets you forget about how proud he is of you.
  • “You are doing so very well, my beloved. I am proud of you.”
  • Damian is also a man of his words so you can be assured that Damian will never break any of the promises he makes to you (unless they are absolutely necessary and/or you are in grave danger!).
  • “I give you my word, beloved.”
  • Damian likes holding you whenever you are about to sleep. He tells you stories from the past and plays with your hair and he might even watch you sleep for a bit before he tries to rest himself.
  • Damian is very protective of you – tends to worry about danger / consequences of bringing you into his life and the world of the supernatural. He is a little bit assured that if he is ever away for some Vampire business, his brothers are all willing to watch over you and keep you safe.
  • Obviously, you love hanging out with his brothers too and you think despite being born in to aristocracy, all of them are very chill people and a fun group to be around with (even though you know they can kill you with their pinkies probably). They tend to teach you a few tricks just in case you aren’t with any of them – protecting yourself from super natural entities 101 with the Wayne family.
  • Despite all the good, you have seen Damian at his worst and he too, has seen you at your worst too so the both of you are quite inseparable too. You are each other’s rocks.

I HOPE this is even just a tiny bit like how you wanted it. I tried to do the together, apart thing like they have on POTC, and include a son, but I dunno, bit unsure about this. 🖤

You and your boyfriend had joined the group way back when the apocalypse had started and that’s when you’d met Daryl and his brother Merle. It had all started with stolen glances between you and Daryl, then little moments when no one was looking like a brush of the hand. You could have sworn you recognised him from somewhere, but maybe it was because when you two spoke, you felt like you’d known him forever. Your boyfriend started to notice you distancing yourself from him and wasn’t happy, so he ended up storming off from the group when you had found Herschel’s farm. He hadn’t been seen since, and Daryl was there for you.
Something blossomed between you two, and a relationship finally formed just before the farm got overrun by walkers. The prison was a sanctuary for you all and you managed to get into a daily routine. As you were clearing out walkers from another cell block, Daryl had popped the question. You’d just stabbed a walker in the head and thrown it over the railings onto the floor below when he turned to stare at you in awe.
“(Y/N), will ya marry me?” He asked, continuing to take out the dead along to balcony.
“Yes!” You’d gasped, letting go of yet another body over the railing. After a quick kiss, you’d gone back to clearing the place and then asked Herschel if he’d marry the two of you like he had with Maggie and Glenn. It was just you three when it happened, and only Rick knew afterwards. Then the prison had been attacked and Daryl was no where to be found. You’d got out with Rick and Carl, but you desperately pined after Daryl. You had no idea what had happened to him and all you wanted was to feel him next to you again.
“Hey, look at this,” Carl says, spotting a sign by the side of the train tracks you were walking along.
“What is it?” Rick asks, trying to see the words through the vines that had grown over it. Carl moves the leaves out of the way and reads aloud.
“Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive. Terminus.”
“Do you think the others might have seen these?” You ask hopefully.
“Maybe. Do you want to check it out? We’re close, so we’ll go through the woods from this point onwards,” Rick instructs.
“Lets do it,” you agree, and all head into the trees for cover. Arriving there everyone seemed friendly; too friendly. Soon enough you were shoved into a train cart and locked in.
“(Y/N)?” You heard a familiar voice, although slightly hesitant. You turn around a Daryl steps into the slither of light coming through the crack in the door.
“Daryl,” you breathe, barely audible. You walk towards each other and can’t quite believe you’re together again. His hand automatically goes to your cheek and you close your eyes leaning into it. You place a hand on top of his and hold it to your face, feeling his calloused fingers against your skin once again.
After escaping terminus with the help of Carol you finally found yourselves together again. The road to Alexandria was a long one and it was the ultimate struggle for all of you. Daryl was constantly by your side, attentive as ever, protecting you from all he could. When Aaron found you and took you all to the town it was a fresh start, and you both had a house to yourselves. Your relationship only grew stronger, the lover deeper, and you both decided to try for a baby.
Now here you are, pregnant and without your husband by your side. Maggie lost Glenn when Negan came, and Sasha lost Abraham. You lost Daryl as he was taken as Negan’s prisoner. All you do now is walk around in circles through the streets of Alexandria, lost without him. You don’t know whether he’s alive or dead, and it kills you.
“Hey, (Y/N), are you okay?” Aaron asks as you pass him, wincing slightly in pain.
“I’m fine, just some twinges,” you reply.
“Are you sure? You look very pale,” he frowns. Suddenly you fall to the floor in pain, clutching onto your stomach.
“Okay, I’m not fine,” you groan, “this is really painful.”
“HELP!” Aaron shouts, and Rick comes running out of his house as soon as he hears him. Carl follows and they both rush to your side.
“(Y/N), what’s wrong?” Rick asks, holding onto you. You look at him with tears streaming down your face and shake your head, trying to breathe deeply.
“She was walking around, in pain I think, said she had twinges, then collapsed on the ground like this,” Aaron explains.
“Shit, (Y/N), I need to see what’s going on, is that okay?” Rick asks, looking right into your eyes. You nod in response and lean back. Luckily you were wearing just a maxi dress as it was the only thing that fit you right now. Rick looks up your dress and sees the baby’s head poking out.
“Fuck! I can see the head!” He yells. You instantly look up at him with terrified wide eyes.
“WHAT?” You scream. Aaron then takes his jacket off and puts it behind you to try and make you more comfortable on the ground. “I need Daryl,” you cry. More and more people come out of their houses to help and after hours on the pavement, a little baby boy appears. Rick hands him to you all wrapped up in a blanket and wipes his tears away once you’ve taken him.
“He’s beautiful,” Rick sniffs.
“He really is,” Carl agrees, leaning over to take a look at his little face, “Daryl’s going to love him so much.” You look at Carl and smile, then look back to your baby boy.
“Just you wait until you meet your daddy,” you whisper to him, “he’s going to spoil you rotten.”
“What are you going to name him?” Carl questions, holding his little foot that’s sticking out of the blanket.
“Daryl junior,” you laugh, “not very imaginative is it?”
“It’s perfect,” Rick smiles, knowing Daryl would be over the moon. The next few weeks went quickly and you started to lose hope in seeing Daryl ever again. Rick wanted to go to the hilltop to recruit them to fight with you all. You agreed and took Daryl junior with you to see Maggie. Once you got there she was all over the baby.
“Oh my goodness, look at him!” She cooed.
“It’ll be your turn before you know it,” you smiled.
“Don’t remind me! What’s his name?”
“Daryl junior.”
“It’s perfect,” she smiled, handing him back, “I think someone needs to meet their daddy.” She stepped out of the way and you saw Daryl standing behind her. His eyes filled with tears after hearing you tell Maggie the baby’s name and he ran towards you.
“He’s here,” he breathes, tears rolling down his face. He looks down and his tears fall onto the little face between you both. You lift him up and Daryl takes him from you, looking in awe at this tiny bundle in his arms.
“He’s missed his dad,” you say, voice cracking from crying. Daryl silently looks at you and smiles, then leans down and kisses you, your hands finding their way into his hair once again.

@negan-dixon
@sapphire1727
@jodiereedus22
@reedusteinrambles
@blondielovesr5-blog
@whovianwalker1999
@cbarter
@dixonreedusfangirlforever

anonymous asked:

i know you did a Bones period pain one but would you mind doing one for Kirk?

-Kirk would probably panic a lot more
-Especially after seeing how bad they were the first time
-He just held your hand in a mild panic
-So then he would do anything else he could to make you feel better because he doesn’t want you to be in any pain
-He would go to Bones to get all the kinds of advice he could
-So he would be way over prepared
-His original plan was just to get a little drunk with you, because that’s what works when he has pain
-He would be ready to go when you started to get cramps
-He would have heating pads hidden everywhere throughout your cabin
-He’d make you different teas, each time explaining how they were suppose to help
-He’d watch you so carefully that you’d start to get annoyed with him
-Although you knew he meant well so you wouldn’t say anything
-He would give you back and foot massages
-Your favorite thing he would do would be to take off some time to spend with you
-That way the two of you end up cuddling most of the time you have pain

20th Place - Lai Guanlin Requested Scenario

@crystalkpop

Summary: in which your boyfriend got 20th place and you could tell that he wasnt his normal self afterwards

Genre: fluff

Message?: this is so late oml ALSO VERY SHORT IM SO SORRY

_________________________

“Guanlin…” I muttered, hearing the ringing tone for what felt like the millionth time today, “please pick up.”

I began biting my nails as I looked at the ground, just wanting to know how my boyfriend was doing.

“Hello?” Guanlin’s voice said, taking me out of my thoughts and making me gasp.

“Guanlin!” I exclaimed, “oh my god! Finally! How was it?! You’re through aren’t you?! What about Seonho?!”

“Y/N,” Guanlin sighed, only now making me notice how depressed he sounded, “yes, both me and Seonho are through.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly concerned.

“Nothing,” he breathed, “only 20 got through by the way.”

“Yeah but you’re in the top 11 so that doesn’t affect you,” I chuckled, “right?”

Suddenly I heard a sob.

“Guanlin?” I asked carefully, “I thought you said you were through?”

“I am!” he exclaimed through sobs, “and I should be happy but- but..”

“But what?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I’ll explain,” he said, “now please come and open the door, I need a hug.”

I dropped my phone, running down the stairs as quick as I could and opening the front door, almost immediately pulling him into a hug and feeling his tears on my shoulder.

I rubbed his back gently as I brought him inside and closed the door.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, “explain.”

He came out my shoulder and looked at me with teary eyes.

“I became 20th,” he said quietly before leaning on my shoulder again.

I tried to take in the information he’d just told me as I rubbed his back soothingly.

“But I tried so hard,” he cried into my shoulder, “why—”

I nodded, trying to soothe his shaking body.

“I-I want to g-go home,” he sobbed.

I gasped quietly. Knowing that this had really affected him, I sighed, “I know. I know you miss home but honestly? Look how far you’ve come. You can’t possibly give up now! You’re in the final for god’s sake!”

He came out of my shoulder, looking at me and wiping his tears away.

“I know it hurts but you need to trust the national producers,” I said, “I know you miss home but look how far you’ve come! I’m so proud of you.”

I leaned up and kissed his cheek as he gave me a small smile, nodding.

“Thank you,” he sighed, “I’m being silly.”

I shrugged, “not really, I understand it’d be upsetting but you need to think about the positives as well.”

He nodded, “thank you Y/N.”

He pulled me into another hug, this time me resting on his chest.

“Now,” I said, “films?”

anonymous asked:

Just gotta ask: what kinds of swimwear would Takeshi like to see his female s/o wear? 😆

Of course, my lovely anon! Thank you for your request and I hope you’ll enjoy!


  • Yamamoto would honestly prefer that his partner was comfortable. If a modest one-piece makes them the most comfortable and happy, he’ll be happiest with that. If a skimpy thong bikini makes them happiest, he’ll be happy with that. He just wants to make sure they’re happy with what they’re wearing and will be able to have fun in it.
  • However, he does think a sporty but cute one-piece looks good on almost every girl. Something like this one would appeal to him because it looks comfortable, meaning his partner would have no issues swimming and playing beach games with him, but still is sexy in a tomboyish way with the exposed back and high cut legs.
  • He also really enjoys tankini’s, especially ones in more vibrant colours like this one. Again, they look comfortable but are still cute enough for him to really appreciate seeing on his partner.
BabyDaddy!Cal Update

Writers block is no damn fun, yall😒

Honestly, I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but I’m stumped. Like even doe I mapped it out the particular chapter is still kinda shitty? I dunno, I’m really tryin.

Also I’m finna post a text au since it was requested and it’s a bit of a sorry? Lmaoo I dunno, I just don’t want chapter 5 to suck

d3f4ult8  asked:

Alright, I'm sorry but this my 2nd request idea in a week and I know your a very busy person but I need to be out. The idea is that Ignis is my boyfriend, and Aranea is a friend. We have Iggy tied up in chair and watch us tease him a little 'Show' to the point where he actually breaks the restraints and proceeds to fuck us both senseless. If you don't want to do a F/F/M and turn this down, that is fine. I just wanted to at least attempt this submit.

I only wrote one fic with Aranea in it thus far and thought I’d never go back… but I guess I LIED TO MYSELF

Now, I will say this: I don’t think I’ll have Ignis busting out of the restraints hulk-wise. That’s more of a Gladio thing in my head. @louisvuittontrashbags wrote a boss fic concerning that, actually.

But Ignis is crafty. So he’ll not put up with being tied down and teased. He will get out of those restraints and show the reader and Aranea who you don’t fuck with like that in the way only a Scientia prodigy can. Ngl I already have that turning point cemented in my head.

SO…

ON THE ____ OF SMUTMAS, MY MUSE WILL GIVE TO ME:

• Gladio angry drabble
• UTW request
• Ignis x Reader x Balthier fic
• By All Means Necessary fic
• The Secretary’s Secretary fic
• Aranea x Reader x Ignis fic

… AND AN UPDATE TO THE CHOCOBROS X READER SERIES HOLY SHIT I GOTTA MAKE ROOM FOR THAT TOO

I Want To Save You; Connor Murphy x Reader

Word Count: 6,232

Request: I loved “All my hope” so much I wanted to request you do one with an alcoholic reader? I’m struggling with things rn and it would be comforting-it’s a demanding thing to ask but I would read the shit out of your work all day if I could- something like Connor and reader are friends and he notices that maybe their water bottle is filled with a lot more than just water- arguments cus he’s worried and a hypocrite cus weed n shiz- drunk texts and sadness vent? Fluffy end -Sincerely Me..:

A/N: I fulfilled my first request! So, here’s the thing. The writing in this story is horrendous. (I also didn’t do a very good job proof-reading this) My dear anon, whoever you are, I am so sorry that I probably butchered the hell out of the story that you asked for. Nevertheless, I hope you find the comfort in these words that you were looking for even if my execution of this idea was a hot mess. I hope I did some justice to this and I sincerely hope that none of this comes off as offensive because that was not my intention in any way. 

Warnings: Alcohol usage, cursing, & (some of my worst writing, ever.)

Skill is defined as the ability to do something well. It is not something that you are born knowing how to do, it is something you learn and acquire over time. People typically think that skills are harmless things. Some people are skilled at dancing or painting. They are little talents that make you different from everyone else. But some skills are darker. They are private. They are not the type of skills that people talk about with envy. They are hidden and you intend to keep them that way.

At some point over the years you had acquired the skill of pouring vodka into your water bottle and resealing it perfectly. You were very careful and particular about it. You didn’t want to take a chance of anyone knowing. You poured the alcohol into a water bottle with the steadiest hands you could conjure and you hid the bottle away behind other items. When you ran out of it and had to throw it away, you would cover it up with milk bottles and empty boxes. You hid and repressed.

Your best friend, Connor Murphy, did not know that you had acquired this skill.

Connor has seen you get drunk before and it was no secret that you could drink a lot. He never really thought anything of it because he’s usually getting drunk with you. It’s hard for him to notice the extent of your alcohol consumption when he is also consuming it himself.  

Although, he would be lying if he said that he didn’t suspect something.

It started when he wanted a drink from your water bottle.

He grabbed it right out of your hands while you were walking in the hallway.

“Oh thank god, you have water! I’m so fucking thirsty.”

Your voice grabbed his attention before he could even touch the lid. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“….I’m getting a drink of water. I told you, I’m fucking thirsty.”

He looked over at you and was surprised to see that you were…flustered. You seemed nervous. Like a deer caught in headlights.

“Well, get your own fucking bottle, Murphy. This one is mine.”

You reached out and snatched the bottle from his grip.

“What the hell has gotten into you, Y/N? Jesus, it’s not like I’m contagious. We’ve shared drinks before.”

“I-I’m sick! I think I’m really coming down with something. I don’t want you to drink after me. Maybe you aren’t contagious but I am.”

“You seem fine to me. When did you get sick?”

“It just started last night! I have to stay hydrated and drink plenty of liquids. That’s what everyone always says to do when you’re sick, right?”

He didn’t really believe you. He’s seen you when you were sick and he didn’t think this was one of those times, even if this sickness was supposedly in its early stages.

“Well, if you’re sick, why the fuck are you in school? Shouldn’t you be resting at home?”

You laughed and for a moment he forgot that there was anything wrong at all.

“I’m not dying, Connor. It’s probably just a little cold or something. I’ll be fine, just keep your hands off my water bottle, okay?”

“…okay.”

He spoke up again a few moments later, “Are you sure you’re okay, Y/N?”

“Yes, Con. I’m fine. Can we talk about something else?”

You spoke your words quickly and Connor noticed that you didn’t look him in the eyes when you said it.

But he did what you asked. He dropped the subject because you were his best friend. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He didn’t want to upset you. If he did, then there was a possibility that he could lose you. So he pushed away any possibility that something could be wrong and he changed the topic. But he did not forget about it.

He got high that night. He sat on his bed in the dark and tried to remember the exact look on your face when he tried to drink from your water bottle. It wasn’t just that you were nervous, it was more than that. You looked… scared. You seemed angry at him. It didn’t add up to him.

He tried to tell himself that you were telling the truth. You were sick and it would make sense that you wouldn’t want him to get sick also. But the look on your face, the nervousness in your voice, that was more than just concern over him getting sick. You got defensive.

The frustration was growing in the pit of his stomach. Normally getting high helps him calm the fuck down but tonight, it seemed like all it did was heighten his anxiety. He played it over and over in his mind because he wanted to make sure he didn’t miss anything. Every time he went over it, he came back to the same conclusion. There was definitely something off about you.

But he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

As far as he could tell, there was absolutely no fucking reason for you to get so defensive about a water bottle.

Unless… it wasn’t water.  

He’s heard stories about people putting vodka in water bottles before but he’s never actually seen anyone do it.

It looked like water but he had to admit, he wasn’t really looking at it that closely. He was too busy focusing on your reaction to notice what exactly was in it.

But you wouldn’t do that, right? He’s seen you get drunk at parties before but everyone does that. Surely, you were not the kind of person to get drunk in the middle of the day.

He wasn’t even sure what time it was anymore. It had to be late, Zoe wasn’t blasting any annoying jazz music anymore and he couldn’t see any lights on from the crack of his door. He should probably go to sleep, but he felt wired.

If there was something wrong with you, he didn’t want to be one of those people that ignored the signs and missed all the clues. He didn’t want to be one of those people that said, “I never knew they had a problem. If I did, I would have helped.”

On the other hand, if there was something wrong with you, you would tell him. He was sure of it. You and Connor did not understand the concept of the word, “secret.” You shared things with each other; it was one of the many things that made the two of you so close.

You knew about all the times he got high. He told you about the shit that he did. You knew about the weed. You knew about his mental illness. You knew about all the dark and depressive thoughts that he had because that’s what friends do. They talk to each other. He told you about the days that he felt whole and he told you about the days that he didn’t. He expected the same from you.

He tried to not overthink it. He kept reminding himself that he didn’t actually have any proof of anything. He had no way of knowing if that bottle was full of vodka or water because he hadn’t actually opened it. All he had was a gut feeling of dread which didn’t really mean anything.

He needed to sleep and calm the fuck down. So he told himself that you were telling the truth. He repeated it over and over like a mantra under his breath.

You were sick.

The reason you got so upset was because you didn’t want him drinking after you.

It wasn’t vodka.

He was overreacting.

It was just water.

He let those thoughts float around in his head while he smoked some more. He did this until he was sure he believed it. He let himself believe it because he wanted it to be true. You were fine. You had to be.

He fell into an uneasy sleep. He didn’t really dream that night, it was more like random flashes in his head. There were images of you standing there in the hallway, looking like a scared, wounded animal. There were images of you reaching out your hand to rip that bottle from his grasp. There were images of you smiling, blurred, and drunk, holding a bottle of vodka in your hand. By the time he woke up, his chest felt hollow. It was like there was this deep, dark hole with no beginning or end and no substance in the world could fill it.

The next night came around. Jared Kleinman was throwing a party and honestly, if Connor wasn’t friends with you, he probably wouldn’t even be going.

You opened the passenger door before he could even put the car in park. He felt relieve when you climbed in the seat because you were smiling. You seemed happy or at the very least you seemed to be back to your normal self. He was looking at you beside him. There was something about the muted, grey skies outside that made you shine bright. In that moment, you were just his best friend that he knew and loved so well. Of course, nothing was wrong. You were fine. He knew he overreacted.

“So, I guess you aren’t sick anymore?”

“…What?”

He couldn’t really see the look on your face because he was trying to focus on the road. He allowed himself to steal a quick glance at you and he was surprised to find you looking… confused.

“You said you were sick yesterday, remember? You thought you were really coming down with something. You wouldn’t let me drink after you.”

Even though he was half focused on you and half focused on the road, he noticed how you suddenly seemed frozen at his last sentence but you quickly recovered. In fact, you recovered so quickly, Connor wasn’t even sure he saw you freeze at all.

“Oh yeah, I guess it was just a 24 hour virus or something. I’m feeling much better now.”

He thought it over while you flipped through the local radio stations.

He still wasn’t really sure if he believed that you were sick but he did have to admit that you seemed to be doing better than you were yesterday. He still had to remind himself that he had no proof that anything was wrong. All he had was his thoughts, which was a dangerous thing because it was so easy to assume the worst about every situation.

“Oh, I love this song!”

You turned the volume up on his car stereo and he allowed himself to steal one more glance at you. You were singing along to some song he didn’t really know and “dancing” in your seat. Well, it wasn’t really dancing; it was more like wiggling around your upper body and waving your arms in every direction. But you looked happy and free. The sun was shining bright that evening. It was cutting through the gloomy skies and illuminating through his windshield. The sunlight wrapped around you like a silhouette. You looked so safe and beautiful in the passenger seat of his car and he wanted to capture that moment and live in it forever. He wanted a world where the two of you could just be people. He wanted a world where you could just be best friends and he didn’t have to worry about intrusive thoughts, vodka filled water bottles, or lies about being sick. He wants to cut out all of the bad things in life and surround you with only the good. But unfortunately, life was not made up entirely of happy moments. Happiness is like a fizzy soft drink. It is sweet but it doesn’t last long. You have to drink it before it goes flat. So he soaked in your happiness all the way to Jared’s house until his heart felt full to the brim with love and then just like that, when he stopped the car, the happy moment went flat.

Connor’s original plan when the two you arrived was the keep track of how many drinks you had that night. Since he was driving, he was staying sober but to be honest, he lost track of how much you were drinking. It was a house party and there was alcohol out in the open everywhere he turned. There were people everyone. It felt like everyone he had ever met was there and as the night went on it was becomingly increasingly difficult to keep you in his sight. At one point, he lost you completely. The house was a like a sea of intoxicated students. He ran into people he hated and people he didn’t know but the one he was looking for was nowhere to be found.

You were already feeling a buzz that had grown so incredibly familiar to you. The thing was, it was hard for you to tell if you were drinking because you wanted to be happy and feel the buzz or if you were drinking because you couldn’t stand not feeling the buzz. You had reached the perfect moment. You were in a stage where all you could think was, “this is great. I feel happy. I don’t want this feeling to end.” Theoretically, this is where you should stop. This is the moment where you should switch your alcohol out for water and start to put a close on your night but you have often found that your drunk self has no empathy for your sober self. Once you start drinking, the word “stop” seems to no longer be in your vocabulary. So you kept going. You grabbed another drink even though it would ultimately only make you feel worse.

You were a wreck by the time Connor found you. You were a mixture of stumbling and slurred words. He couldn’t even understand some of what you were saying. He couldn’t let you stay any longer. He needed to get you home. Or at least, he needed to get you in a non-alcoholic environment.

What ended up happening was that you went to bathroom and started vomiting. Connor sat on the edge of the bathtub and rubbed your back and if anyone tried to come in, he would tell them to fuck off. The smell of alcohol was almost unbearable.

How much did you drink?

He cursed himself for not keeping an eye on you like he intended. What kind of best friend was he? He was supposed to be looking out for you, damn it. He was worried about you. He was supposed to take care of you and he couldn’t even seem to do that right.

If it was hard for him to tell just how much you had consumed. Everyone smelled like alcohol because it was a party and everyone was drinking. You always drink a lot. He never thought anything about it. Plenty of people drink a lot. But it was hard for him to tell the difference between drinking a lot and drinking so much that it was a problem. How was he supposed to tell when you crossed the line?

His brain seemed to be divided between two options. He could believe that you had a problem or he could believe that you just liked to drink but it was nothing to be concerned about. But you were his best friend and no one wants to think that there could be anything wrong with their best friend. So he lets that part of his brain win.

It was just water.

It wasn’t vodka.

You were sick.

You were drinking but it wasn’t dangerous. Everyone gets like this sometimes. Everyone drinks and throws up and has hangovers. This wasn’t a problem.

He told himself this over and over again while he continued to rub your back because he wanted so badly to believe it was true.

It wasn’t until the third encounter that Connor realized that maybe this was a much bigger problem than he wanted to admit.

He came to visit you because he needed to get the fuck away from his family. His father was in one of those moods where all he wanted to do was talk about Connor’s wasted potential.

His father seemed to have this pipe dream that Connor was going to take over his firm one day. Personally, Connor would rather slam his own tongue in a car door than become a lawyer.

For some reason, his mother decided today would be a good day to clean out their attic. His father came across a box that contained a baseball glove that was very stiff due to the fact that it had never been used. His father pulled the glove out and turned it over in his hands and let out a deep sigh.

“Guess I should probably get rid of this thing. The only thing this glove has done is collect dust.”

Connor hated the way he said this because it sounded insulting as hell. His father might as well have looked him in the eyes and said, “This glove has gone to waste, just like all my other hopes and dreams for you.”

Larry Murphy was always excited at the idea of having a son. He had images of teaching his kid to play catch and taking him fishing because that was what his father did with him. But Connor wasn’t interested in baseball gloves and sporting events. Larry wasn’t sure what his son was interested in. he couldn’t really figure out how to talk to his son and Connor was at a point in his life where he had given up all hope that his father would ever learn how to do it.

So this was how he found himself at your house with some movie on in the background even though neither of you were really paying attention to it.

At one point, you left to go to the bathroom and he saw a water bottle sitting right there next to your bed. He knew he shouldn’t be invading your privacy. That was the kind of shit that parents did to their kids and then they tell them it was just because they “had your best interest at heart.”

But he couldn’t deny that there was a curiosity taking over. He figured it couldn’t hurt to just check. If he could just confirm that you weren’t drinking than he could finally put his anxiety to rest and just you could just be friends again. He peeked out into the hallway to make sure that the bathroom door was still closed and he immediately reached out for it.

He read somewhere that you can tell the difference between vodka and water by shaking it up and looking for bubbles but that didn’t seem to help him much. He figured “fuck it” and just unscrewed the lid instead. He didn’t know too much about vodka. On the occasions that he would get drunk, it was not usually the type of drink he went for. It didn’t have a distinctive smell but it definitely smelled like alcohol. He didn’t need to be an expert to know that this wasn’t water.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Your presence startled him so much that he actually jumped and spilled some of the liquid on your bed sheets.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Connor?”

“This isn’t water, Y/N.”

It felt stupid as hell to be pointing this out. Of course you knew it wasn’t water, you were the one that was drinking it.

“I don’t really see how that’s any of your business.”

It felt like his blood was rushing through his body. The anger was rising, he could feel it.

“Not any of my business? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re my best friend. I think I have the right to know if you’re a fucking alcoholic.”

“I am not-“

“Yes you fucking are. You think this is normal? Drinking vodka out of a water bottle in the middle of the day? What is going on with you, Y/N? Talk to me.”

“I-I can’t.”

His fist was clenched so tight that his knuckles were white. His jaw was clenched and he was right on the brink of exploding.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because you wouldn’t underst-“

“Oh that’s such bullshit. Of course, I would understand. You’re my best friend.”

“That isn’t enough, Connor! This isn’t the same thing as a bad day or shitty parents. This is the kind of thing that you can’t empathize with unless you’ve experienced it.”

“Well you can still talk to me about it. I’m fucking worried about you, Y/N. This isn’t normal. Let me try to help you please.

He holds up your water bottle. “You shouldn’t be fucking doing this.”

He was not expecting you to laugh, but you did. It was harsh and cold. In that moment all traces of his best friend were gone. He barely even recognized you. It was like you were composed of nothing but sharp edges. Normally, Connor considered you to be gentle. To him, you were a kind soul. You were a calming breeze during the most violent storms of his life. Every sense of calm was gone now.

“Why the fuck are you laughing, Y/N? This isn’t funny.”

You were still laughing, cold and cruel. “Yes it fucking is, Connor. You’re really going to stand here and lecture me on being sober? What about you? You really think you’re such a saint? You get high all the fucking time, Connor. Have you ever even gone a week without smoking weed? You’re such a goddamn hypocrite, Murphy.”

Anger. So much anger was rising in his throat like bile.

“Maybe I am a hypocrite. But you want to know what the difference between me and you is? I own up to my shit, Y/N. I can actually acknowledge the existence of my bad decisions. I know that I get high all the time; you know that, everyone knows that. You’re too busy covering up your darkness with fucking lies about being sick and water bottles. At least when I fuck up, I can openly acknowledge it. You’re too fucking scared to own up to your problems. You make up fabricated illusions and then you get defensive when anyone tries to call you out on it. You can’t own up to what you are.”

Your eyes seemed to be iced over. You were so angry that you were terrifyingly calm. It made the hair on the back of Connor’s neck prick up. He’s never seen you like this before. This was not the face of his best friend.

“I may be an alcoholic, but I am a damn good one. I don’t need help, Connor. Especially not from someone that can barely stay sober himself. Get the fuck out. Now.”

He didn’t see any point in arguing with you. He was running out of things to say and he was sure you wouldn’t listen to it anyway. So he left but he could have sworn he saw a empty vodka bottle peeking out from under a milk carton in your trash can.

Connor was thinking about getting high when he got home just to spite you.

I don’t need help, Connor. Especially not from someone that can barely stay sober himself

Fuck that. He could get high whenever he wanted and as far as he was concerned there was nothing you could do about it.

He didn’t end up doing it though. He was too busy thinking about everything.

The two of you had never had a fight before. There were slight disagreements sometimes but nothing on the level of what happened today. He also never knew you were hiding something like this. Why didn’t you tell him? You were right about him being a hypocrite. Who was he to tell you about being sober when the idea of getting sober himself seemed unfathomable? You were both hiding behind the masks that you made to disguise all of the shit that you’re ashamed of.

He wasn’t sure what to do. This problem was much bigger than him. It was serious shit and as much as he wanted to help, he had no idea how to do it.

Connor didn’t know much about alcoholism. Society always paints alcoholics as 55 year old men that sit on their couch and get drunk before 11 AM. He had a relative on his father’s side of the family that was an alcoholic but he didn’t know much about him. He’s pretty sure his father mentioned at one point that he was in AA meetings now.

He thought about suggesting AA meetings to you but if you weren’t even willing to have a conversation with your best friend, he didn’t think you’d want to do it.

There was this small part of him that wanted to talk to his mother. He actually used to have a pretty good relationship with her when he was younger. He had always been closer to her than his father because she didn’t try to force him to be someone he clearly wasn’t. It got harder as he got older. Unlike his father, she did actually try to help; she just didn’t always do it in the best ways. He tried to explain it to her once by telling her that it wasn’t just sadness. He felt empty. It felt like whatever part of his body that allowed him to laugh and love had been surgically removed. She didn’t seem to understand what he meant.

He debated it for several minutes before giving up on it. She would probably ask too many questions. He didn’t want you to know that he talked to his mother about it because he didn’t want to make you any angrier than he already had.

So, he turned to the internet.

Can you help an alcoholic friend?

He skimmed through multiple articles and message boards; it all seemed to come back to one simple message:

You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.

He’s heard this before and he expected this to be the case but it was frustrating. Surely, that couldn’t be it, right? There had to be something. If you could make him feel saved, then surely there had to be some way that he could save you.

You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.

It may be true that you can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.

But it is an absolutely dreadful feeling to love someone and not be able to do anything to help them.

*******

Jared Kleinman texted you to tell you that he was throwing another party. His parents were out of town so he figured, “why have one party when you could have two?”

He asked you if you were bringing Connor along but you still felt an angry bitterness settling inside at the argument the two of you had. So you texted back, “no.” and went on your own.

You wasted no time finding your way to the alcohol on the kitchen counter when you arrived. Your argument with Connor was still ringing loud and menacing in your head.

Anger was coursing through your bloodstream so you soothed it over with the familiar taste and sensation that a shot glass provided.

You shuffle through the crowd of students to make your way to the bathroom, you find it empty and you squeeze yourself inside and shut the door. Everyone on the other side sounds like they are underwater.

You pull out your phone and Connor’s number is one of the first things you see. You suppress a giggle and pull up your text messages.

To: Connor

Are you awake???

C’mon Con. I know you are up. You like never sleep

Are you ignoring me now

You waited and waited and all you were greeted with was silence. You were still holding a bottle in your hands. Sitting on the bathroom floor alone at a party is lonely and the loneliness makes you want to drink, so you do. Drinking seems to increase the loneliness, which causes you to drink again. It was an absolutely vicious and never ending cycle. But it was easier to do this. It feels easier to numb the emotions than to walk through the fire with your eyes wide open.

You nursed your drink and stared at your phone.

Maybe he hates me.

The loneliness grew with each passing minute. It filled you like an endless ocean. It was deep and dark and seemed to have no ending in sight.

****

You woke up at home. You woke up abruptly, your breathing was uneven and your heart felt like it was trying to pound its way out of your skin. Your mouth was stale and you can immediately tell there is no way you were going to be able to go back to bed. The light is shining too brightly through your window. You didn’t feel rested at all. You were awake but you didn’t want to be.

You had a terrible hangover, which was to be expected, but there was also a layer of anxiety there on top of it all. There was a sense of shame and self-loathing and you wished desperately that you could feel anything else.

You thought about the loneliness from the previous night, you thought about Connor yelling at you in this very room and it all seemed like a lifetime ago. The shame and anxiousness only grew when you recalled your fight with Connor.

He wanted to help. All he wanted to do was help and you didn’t even give a chance. He was your best fucking friend and you shut him out.

You dragged your hands over your face. It seemed strange. Your face, your hands, your body; it felt like it somehow didn’t belong to you. It was like you didn’t belong in your own skin.

You reach for your phone next to your bed and pull up your messages.

To: Connor

I’m so fucking sorry.

Is there any way you can forgive me

Can we talk?

Connor, I need to see you please. Can you come over?

You felt desperate for something.

You couldn’t help but think; maybe this is what rock bottom feels like.

You kept checking your phone and there was nothing. No response from Connor at all. He had completely shut you out. You weren’t even sure if he was reading your messages.

It was this complete silence from your best friend that made you realize that not only had you hit rock bottom but that the floor had just given out.

****

Connor hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. He spent much of his time researching everything that he could and the little bit of sleep that he was able to get was a very superficial kind of sleep that left him feeling more tired than energized. He may or may not have noticed the text messages you sent him in the middle of the night but he purposely ignored them. He still felt angry. He was angry that you didn’t confide in him. He was angry that he didn’t know how to help. He didn’t know what to say so he decided it would be better to say nothing at all.

When he woke up to text messages from you saying you were sorry and asking him to come over, he immediately headed out to see you. At the end of the day you are his best friend and even though he had just spent hours reading countless articles about how he couldn’t save you, he would be damned if he didn’t try.

He cracked open your bedroom door and dipped his head in. “Y/N?”

“Come in.”

He saw you lying in bed and you almost looked sick. He was sure that you had a hangover, so he made his way to your bed and crouched down trying to speak quietly so he wouldn’t irritate you.

“How are you feeling?”

“Horrible. I feel horrible.”

“I’ll get you a glass of water and then we can talk if you want, okay?”

You nodded but didn’t say anything. Connor left your room and you let yourself focus on the sound of his footsteps and the running of the water. He was back in no time.

He sat down a glass of water and some pills on your beside table and settled himself next to you.

“Connor, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

“Yeah, you probably shouldn’t have but it’s alright. I mean, you weren’t completely wrong. It is pretty hypocritical for me to tell you to stay sober when I can’t do it myself.”

You stayed silent and fiddled with your fingers.

“Can you explain it to me? I tried to look it up last night but none of the websites were particularly helpful. I don’t really get it.”

You let out a soft laugh. “It’s like I said, Connor. It’s pretty hard to get it unless you’ve gone through it yourself. It’s like I’m completely powerless when it comes to alcohol. I don’t have the self control to stop. Some people have the ability to recognize that it’s late and that they have somewhere to be in the morning, so they can put a stop to it. I can’t do that. I also can’t just have one drink. The only time I’ve ever had one drink is if there is no other alcohol physically available to me.”

You paused and looked over at Connor. His face was scrunched up in confusion but there was also a great level of concern. He wanted to understand, but he just wasn’t grasping it.

You took a deep breath and readjusted yourself.

“Okay, think about it like this, Imagine that you put a six year old in the middle of a birthday party and you tell them they can’t have any sugar. No birthday cake, no soda, nothing. I have the same willpower as that six year old when it comes to alcohol.”

This seemed to be the explanation that made the most sense to him. Even if he still wasn’t completely understanding it because his relationship with alcohol was different, it was the first time that he felt like it was spelled out in terms that he could comprehend.

You were both silent, lost in your own thoughts. Connor spoke up first.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You remained quiet for a moment going over your own thoughts.

“…I’m not sure yet.”

“Well, if you want, I can stay with you until you figure it out.”

“I’d like that.”

Connor traced his fingers against your skin and you could feel his breath against your neck. Even though you felt sick and your body didn’t feel like your body, Connor’s hand still felt like his hand. Connor still felt like Connor and in that moment Connor felt like love.

********

There is a common misconception that once you make the decision to get sober, all of your problems go away. This idea is bullshit. Other problems arise and you have to deal with them while maintaining your sobriety. It is not a straight line and it is not a problem that you can fix overnight. It is a process and frankly, it is an exhausting one. If you go out, you come home feeling tired as hell because you spent the evening focusing all your energy on not drinking instead of enjoying yourself. You have your willpower tested every time you go to a party or stand at a bar. Everyday feels like a test and there are a thousand different ways to fail. You’re never really done recovering. Sometimes you still have to leave a party early. Sometimes you shake and cry because you want this thing that could ultimately kill you. People like to tell you that “it gets better.” But that isn’t really true. It doesn’t get better. You get better. You get stronger.

One beautiful thing about life is that if you don’t like where you are, there is always a new moment and a new day to start again. Opening up allows you to heal. Keeping things inside of you only makes you want to hide from yourself and you can sometimes go to dangerous methods to do it.

Connor never gave up on you. Even on the days when you wanted to give up on yourself. He taught you there is good in this world, if you’re willing to look hard enough in the right people. He gave you wholehearted love and support especially on the days that you felt you didn’t deserve it.

He loved you for who you believed you were and when that happened to change, he embraced the person that you ultimately discovered yourself to be.

It was as if you had been living in a bleak and never ending winter. You felt as if you were taking your first steps out into the sunlight after being buried in the snow.

There was no more winter. There was only Connor and a future filled with the brightest days of spring.