no one messes with alfred's food ;)

High School AU Ideas #6

-When Bruce and Joker become somewhat friends they start to bring a bunch of junk food and sit at this really old playground where Bruce used to go to as a kid.

-Joker is sort of underweight and Bruce notices how he doesn’t eat very well. Bruce starts bringing good food that Alfred made to him. Imagine two high school boys having a weird picnic together. 

-Joker doesn’t mess with Bruce anymore once they start talking and everyone starts noticing the two whispering things to each other between and after classes, writing and doodling on each others papers, and sneaking off when there are assemblies. No one outright says anything. 

-Bruce’s following starts to disperse when they realize Bruce’s new closeness to Joker and the strange thing to most people is that Bruce seems a lot happier this way.  

-Bruce doesn’t completely lighten up and still is a quiet person around most but, when he’s with Joker, the two both become really loud and open and excited.

-Joker is still obsessed with Batman but his mind begins to be more on Bruce. It comes as a big shock.

-Joker realizes he’ll be gone soon due to Bruce being a senior and Joker a junior and he starts to worry about Bruce forgetting about him. In his distress, Joker tries to cause a lot of trouble again. Bruce and Joker have a huge fight about this.

-Their fight resulted in Bruce comforting his friend and the two having their first kiss. It isn’t passionate or very long. It’s quick and as awkward as anyone could imagine a very inexperienced kiss would be. 

-Bruce and Joker don’t become an openly affectionate couple at all after this. The two try to avoid conversation about it because they are so emotionally confused about themselves. They don’t know how to even handle the thought of being together in that way. At least not yet. 

(Feel free to submit your own headcanons about this AU :3)

{#1 (Part 1), #1 (Part 2), #2, #3, #4, #5, #6}

anonymous asked:

heyyy could you write like jason and his s/o spending christmas at the manor with the rest of the batfam and when reader gives jason his gift and he opens it he sees a sweater that reads something like "this guy is going to be a daddy" or "soon to be dad" because she's preggers!!!

You can’t wait to give Jason his Christmas present, you had it specially made. You had wrapped it in a box, folded so it hid the words printed on the front, with a single picture underneath.

“Babe, are you ready to go? Alfred just called, said that we are the last ones to get there” Jason called up the stairs.

Grabbing the present you run down the stairs, “Yeah, did you put all of the other presents in the car?”

Jason just rolled his eyes and helped you put on your coat, “The entire car is filled, babe. I think you went a little overboard with the presents this year”

“No such thing as too many presents, Jay”

Jason raises his eyebrows as you pick up his present, “Another one?”

“This one is for you, I wanted to hold it”

Jason just chuckles, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips, “I love you”

“I love you too. Now come on, we are already late!”

“Well is someone didn’t have to wrap so many presents …”

“Quit your bitchin’ and get in the car!!”

All four of the boys give you a hug and then go and help Jason unload the car. You quickly put Jason’s present under the tree. He won’t get to open it until after dinner.

Dinner is loud, as it usually is when all of the boys are under one roof. Dick almost starts a food fight, but one look from Alfred made him put his spoon down.

“Sorry, Alfie”

“Quite alright, Master Dick. I would just hate for everyone else to enjoy their presents while you clean up a substantial mess”

You chuckle, nudging Jason with your elbow, “That means you have to behave, I want you to open your present”

“And you won’t even give me a hint?”

“Nope! You just have to wait!”

Jason huffs. Everyone starts to eat a bit faster, ready to clean up and get to presents. Surprisingly Damian finishes first, and heads to the sink.

“Master Damian, I can …”

“Sit down, Pennyworth. It’s Christmas, I do believe that we can wash out own dishes for once.”

You reach over and pat Alfred’s hand, “Don’t worry, Alfie. I’ll make sure they don’t break anything”

Alfred gives you a grateful smile, “Then I shall go and start the fireplace”

By the time everyone gathers around the tree, Alfred had gotten a large fire going. Somehow he even manages to make hot chocolate for everyone.

“Alright everyone, let’s start with presents!”

“Can I open mine now?” Jason whispers, wrapping his arms around your waist

“Nope! That one you have to open last, so get to opening all of your other ones”

Jason groaned, accepting a present from Tim, tearing into the paper, “Let’s see how fast I can open all of my presents then”

Almost an hour later all of the presents are open. The entire room is a mess of gifts, paper, boxes, and empty mugs. You reach over and place the last gift in Jason’s lap, “Now you can open it”


You can’t help but laugh as Jason rips into the present, but once the paper is gone, he is almost gently when opening the box. He reaches in and picks up the sweater, and the picture underneath.

“Y/N what ..?”

“Read the sweater, babe”

He unfolds the sweater, his eyes widening in shock as he take in the words knitted into the sweater.

“What does it say, Jason?” Bruce prompted

Wordlessly he turned it around, so the words “This Guy is Going to be a Daddy!” is facing everyone. All you could do was smile at the surprised gasps from everyone else.

“Merry Christmas, Jay!”

He just looked at you, his eyes flicking down to look at your stomach, “You’re-you’re … pregnant? I’m gonna be a dad?”

“Yeah, babe. I’m pregnant, 14 weeks. I wanted to wait until Christmas to tell you”

Jason jumps up, scooping you into his arms and into a kiss.  “I’m gonna be a dad!!”

Everyone starts cheering, rushing forward and pulling you both into a huge group huge. You glance over and see Alfred discreetly brushing a tear out of his eye.

You lean up, brushing your lips against Jason’s ear, “Next Christmas we are going to have a little one here with us”

A hand slips under your shirt, resting on your stomach, “You gave me the best Christmas present ever. I love you so much” he tilts his head down, “and I love you too, my perfect little present”

Who’s Your Daddy?

Pairing: USUK // Completed one-shot

Rating: T

Warning: Daddy kink ?

Notes: s/o to vee for helping me develop ideas, n clocks for helping me fix up some quirks !!

Summary: The idea of meeting his boyfriend’s father absolutely terrified Alfred. By no means did he want to mess things up introducing himself and end up having one of the most important people in Arthur’s life hate him, especially when he desired to put a ring on Arthur’s finger. But Alfred Jones, screw-up extraordinaire, was going to live up to his title whether he liked it or not.

Read it on AO3,, or below the cut !

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Love Nest- pt2- 1p2pCanAme poly foursome

Al corners Alfred after his shift at the science museum, and he smiles down at him. There’s something enticing about Al to him, but Alfred already has two really great boyfriends. Courting another- one that neither Matt nor Matthew had met- seemed like a bit hard to swing… or at the very least embarrassing for Alfred. He’s really bad at dealing with relationship things which is rough for a guy in a polyamorous relationship. In those tight black jeans, Al is making it especially hard for Alfred, and then he flashes a grin so teasing and flirtatious that Alfred’s ears turn bright red.

“So hot stuff,” Al says, voice practically a purr. “Have you thought anymore about that date night I offered last time?”

“Weren’t you just teasing me about that and bein’ a jerk though?” But Alfred blushes darkly- he knew the other had been serious.

Clearly, Al detects the lie too, and he puts a hand on Alfred’s hip. His expression is one of hurt and frustration. “You know it was real. And you flirted back. Look, if you’re not interested, all you gotta do is say as much.”

“It’s… I mean it’s not that I’m uninterested or whatever but…” Alfred huffs and shrugs. “It’s just…”

After a moment of quiet, Al’s eyes go wide. “You have a boyfriend don’t you…? Fuck me…” He takes a step back and he runs a hand through his hair. “That’s why you were so reluctant to flirt back…”

“Well yes and no…!” Alfred says as he grabs Al’s hand, trying to pull him back. “I mean technically I have two boyfriends—“ Al starts to interrupt, looking a bit startled, but Alfred talks louder over him. “AND I kinda have to introduce you to them first. We, uh, we only date people we all like…”

“Oh…” Then Al’s surprise fades into naughty excitement. “..ohhh lemme meet the boys then~”  

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anonymous asked:

mistletoe fanfic prompt for ameripan ^^

 “Hey, man, I really appreciate you staying after to clean up!” Alfred exclaimed excitedly.

“It’s nothing, really,” he replied. It’s not like Kiku wanted to, though he did find Alfred’s company a lot more bearable than everyone else’s (if not he wouldn’t have shown up to Alfred’s Christmas—or Xmas—party). Him staying after for cleanup was just out of curtesy since everyone else left him here to deal with the mess.

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anonymous asked:

the moment when the family or bruce realized that jason was the joker and tim harlequin.

Jason dies and Bruce buries his son. He grieves and blames himself and nearly goes off the edge into place that he always swore he’d never go to. He almost loses himself, and then a stubborn boy marches into his life and tells him how he should be. A boy who tries his best to fix them all and ends up being exactly what Bruce needs. Tim is bright and eager and incredibly loyal. Enough to keep Batman in check and Gotham safe.

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