no one makes me cry my own tears

You don't understand

“Why are you so self-destructive?”

You don’t know what it feels like to wake up feeling like a mistake, every single day.

To hate yourself for being not bad enough for people to believe that you needed help.

To hate your scars as you add some more.

To make yourself throw up until your throat is sore.

To starve until you almost faint.

To work the hell out until your body is strained.

To see the mirror and cry on what you see.

To drown in tears and insecurity.

I fell in love with my own misery.

Because I know that I don’t deserve to be happy.

Kill me.



A/N: Request from anon. Something like this was going through my head for a while now. I love how readers just read my mind sometimes. Enjoy, everyone!

Words: 1984
Warnings: mental breakdown, mentions of parent death

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi I was wondering if you can do a prompt in the future where bughead had a baby but they break up so she never told jughead about their baby.

Hmm tricky!

Betty had to hold back tears of laughter as her two year old son tumbled face first into the sand before popping back up and putting his tiny hands on his hips, turning back towards his mother with a look of complete dissatisfaction.

Veronica openly laughed beside her, getting up from the bench and lifting the dark haired toddler into her arms

“Not even a tear? You most definitely are my godson.” She nuzzled the little boys neck before dropping down next to Betty and handing him her phone to play with.

“He’s getting so big.” Veronica ran her hands over his soft, baby shampooed hair, her nose taking in the familiar scent and sighing “instill love that smell”

Betty laughed
“I know, it’s the best. You don’t know how many times I’ve tried sneaking him into bed at night just so I can cuddle” her son was already fiercely independent and loved sleeping alone in his half crib, although on occasion he would fall asleep wrapped up in his mothers arms and stay there the whole night.

Hunter Jones was the worlds best baby, maybe Betty was biased but the hundreds of people who had the pleasure of meeting him would agree. He was sweet and quiet and even as an infant he hardly ever cried, he was talking now, although he couldn’t quite string together full sentences he sure did try.

Looking up as if he knew they were talking about him, Hunter held the phone out to his mom, clearly disinterested he crawled down and headed back for the sandbox, a look of complete determination of his face. Betty bit back the pride she felt and handed Veronica back her phone.

“He hates technology, doesn’t even like the tv, only when I put on Winnie the Pooh. He gets that from..” she trailed off, the familiar ache still pounding in her chest when she thought of Hunters father.

Veronica placed a soothing hand on Betty’s arm
“Any word on him?”

Shaking her head, Betty looked back to her son.

Jughead Jones had run away three years ago, leaving Betty Cooper pregnant, terrified and alone. There had been no way to find him, he had erased his existence form the map, he had no idea she was pregnant, Hell, she didn’t even know until after he was gone.

Things were rough the first few months, Alice Cooper was overbearing to say the least, she wanted Betty under her watch every hour of the day, Hal Cooper had completely cut off his daughter, refusing to look at her when she was in the same room. To say things were tense was an understatement, but then something amazing happened.

The flower shop Betty had worked her entire high school experience was like her second home so when the women she called her boss found out she was pregnant she sat Betty down and handed her the keys.

“I know this may not be the future you planned but I never had children and I always wanted this place to be handed down to someone who could take care of it, I think it’s time for me to retire. It’s all yours, there’s room up above the shop, you can set up a nursery for the baby and run my store. That is is you want it”

Betty had cried for hours before gratefully taking the keys and moving her things in the day of. That’s where she lived now, it was a beautiful place and she loved running the shop. Veronica was currently home on spring break and Archie was due home this afternoon.

“Momma!” Hunter called from his place in the sand, he picked up a shovel and scooped the soft tan substance into a pile, his face so proud both the girls were swooning. He really was going to be such a handsome boy when he grew up.

“That’s so good baby! It’s a sandcastle!” She glanced over at Veronica and the girl nudged her head, she knew nothing could keep Betty away from her son. Betty nearly tripped over herself, moving to kneel by the sandbox and pulling her water bottle out of the diaper bag
“See love, if you put a little water it’ll stay in a shape, just like your play doh!”

Hunter gasped his eyes coming up to stare at his mother like she hung the moon and stars
“I love you.” The raven haired toddler said, his chubby hands coming around his mothers neck as she laughed heartily.

Hunter said “I love you” to his mother more than he said anything else, the little boy adored his mom and everything she did was the best thing in the world.

“I love you too baby.”

“Bets! Ronnie!” The familiar voice had Betty turning around, a smile instantly lighting her face as Archie came running towards them, heaving Hunter up and placing him on her hip she moved to meet Archie, her smile instantly fading when she saw the sheer look of terror on his face.

“Archie? What’s the matter?” She asked as her son rested his head on her shoulder, her hand moving in soft circles on his back to soothe him, Hunter was very good at reading people and if someone else was upset, he was bound to feel the same way.

“Betty..I..” he stuttered and was quickly cut off by a sharp gasp coming from Veronica

“Oh my god.” She said on an inhale, her eyes wide as she stared at something behind Betty’s back.

“What?!” Betty whisper shouted, trying to Remain calm for her son, she turned around slowly, adjusting hunter. Her heart nearly fell out of her chest when she turned around.

There, standing before her, in the middle of Riverdale park was Jughead Jones, he looked almost exactly the same except for the addition of some muscle mass and his missing beanie.

“I tried to warn you. I ran into him at the airport, I texted you but..” Archie said from beside her.

Betty was too busy staring at Jughead to take in what he was saying, his eyes were trained on Hunter and Veronica instantly moved forward to protect her friend.

“Id like to say it’s great to see you again but that would be a lie and I don’t lie in front of children, let’s go Betty” Veronica hissed, her eyes lethal as she glared at Jughead.

Betty nodded solemly, tightening her grip on Hunter as she turned to walk away. Before she could leave Jughead Gripped her forearm

“Bets..” he begged, his eyes pleading with hers

Betty pulled her arm away as if she had been burnt.

“Is he.. is he mine?” Jughead asked, tears visible in his eyes. Even after all these years, the sight of him in pain was enough to make her weak, her own eyes filled with tears as she nodded slowly, Jughead exhaling sharply as he stared at Hunter.

The toddler seemed to sense his mother was upset and he placed a messy kiss on her cheek

“Don’t cry mama, I love you.”

The tiny voice of her two year old son shook Betty out of her daze and with one final look at Jughead she said

“Leave me and my son alone. We didn’t need you then and we don’t need you now, so stay out of our lives.” She whipped around, Veronica draping an arm over her shoulder as Betty held back the stinging tears.

Jughead stood in the center of the park watching his son and love of his life walk away.

Archie moved beside him.

“I know you had a reason for leaving man but… that’s your kid.”

With that Archie walked off to catch up with the girls.

Jughead stared down at his hands, clenched into fists, a habit he had picked up from Betty, Archie was right

That was his kid.

Not Nothing - Peter Parker

summary : the reader is being bullied at school for being plus size, and when her friend and crush Peter Parker finds out, he goes out of his way to make her feel special. To make sure that she knows she’s not nothing.

word count : 2.2k+

warnings : bullying, self-hatred, sad!reader, angst, sad!Peter, self-doubt, puking, fluff, Peter being the nicest person on the face of the planet.

pairing / characters : peter parker x plus size!reader, MJ, Ned, Flash,

prompt : “ Hi! I was wondering if you had time to add a Peter Parker request to your list. I’ve got two ideas but you can chose either one. One idea that based on the song "When He Sees Me” from waitress and maybe the reader was talking to MJ and the other idea is one where the reader is getting bullied for being plus size and they kinda retreat into themselves and ignore everyone and then Peter does some fluff to make them feel better. Honestly I would be happy with either one but only if you have time" - anon

A/N : so I decided to go with the second idea, because I had a better thought process with it? Idk, just enjoy!

p.s. if you can not handle what is written I suggest not reading this. Just a heads up.

p.p.s. I do not suggest ANY of you ever thinking that you are not worth it, or that you need to make yourself sick to look ‘pretty’. You are all beautiful in your own ways, and you should own them, not throw them away. <3

master list | requests | prompt list

Originally posted by tomhollanderr

Keep reading

i don’t know what made me turn into this, but i’m always teetering on the edge of angel and monster. on days i am the monster, i am all gnashing teeth, broken bones, and fleshy skin being ripped apart. i am all red. pure agony. pure flame. i am a wildfire, lighting a match and tossing it onto the prettiest, most alive patch i can find, just to hear the branches scream, just to hear the trunks burning, as i myself, once did. i dance in the flames of betrayal and listen so intently to the screams. sometimes i think they’re coming from me. sometimes i think the flame hurts me more than it hurts the ones being burned. when i am an angel, i am all soft cloud and light. i am blue skies for days, with a little bit of rain and a whole lot of sunshine. i am holding hands and light kisses and cotton candy at the circus. i am all good. i am laughter and smiles and feeling bubbly inside like you’ve just drank champagne but you’re really just drunk on love. drunk on the fact that the sunshine feels so nice and right on your skin and that blood is pumping through your veins and that you are alive. when i am good, i am soaring. and some days, the most complicated ones, i am both. half angel, half monster. i climb through the six feet of dirt i lie under and drag everyone around me who tries to help down with me to take my place. i make stepping stones out of people so i can escape the dirt. but when i am out, i cry. i cry because this isn’t right. because humans are not stepping stones. they, we, are just flesh stretched over bone, encasing a heart and a brain and vital organs. i tear myself apart so people can feed on my limbs because i’d rather hear my own stomach growl than watch people starve. i give myself away so people can survive down where they are set to rest. on these days, i am half super hero and half villain. i am always half of this, and half of that, and every night, i wonder what led me to such a split and how i can become whole again.

the world looks up at me
as though I am on a throne
of my own making

and as the tears fall steadily
they try to remind me:
Queens don’t cry

but how can I not?
when this crown sits so heavy
made of sorrow and sin

a thousand jeweled hearts
aching to break,
I would tip my head

and let it fall to the ground
but I cannot bear
another abdication

—  the fallacy of strong girl poetry || O.L.

The dragon prince sang a song so sad it made the wolf maid sniffle, but when her pup brother teased her for crying she poured wine over his head. (A Storm of Swords)

By night the prince played his silver harp and made her weep. When she had been presented to him, Cersei had almost drowned in the depths of his sad purple eyes. He has been wounded, she recalled thinking, but I will mend his hurt when we are wed. (A Feast for Crows)

Later, after he had cleaned himself up and changed the damp clothing stained with the red wine she had poured over his head, Ben would ask, mystified, “Why did you cry, Lya? Those three southron ladies sitting at the next table to ours in the hall, the ones who also cried, they talked about his pain and his sorrow, about wanting to heal his wounded heart. What wounded heart? I wanted to ask. He’s a prince. He’ll be king one day. He’s a prince more beloved by the realm than his lord father the current king. What wounded heart? And yet they say … but surely you’re not like that, Lya? Surely that’s not why you cried? You’re … well, you’re Lya. You’re my sister. You wouldn’t shed tears for that.”

“I was not crying for him, you fool,” Lyanna replied, raising her wine goblet high, as if threatening to empty its content over her brother’s head again.

“Then who were you crying for?”

“I was crying for myself. His song … it reminded me of –“

Of my own sorrow. Of my own wounded heart.

“It reminds you of you? But isn’t that what all singers do? They make you believe they are singing about you, about you and only you, and about no one else, even when they know nothing about you, truly. You were the one who said this, Lya, the one who told me this.”

“I know, Ben. I know that is what they do. But it … it has never … it –“

“It has never worked on you before?”

“And I don’t know why it is different, this time.” She laughed, the sound a bitter draught, before adding, “I’m a fool.”

“You’re not!” Ben replied, heatedly. Then, after a pause, he asked, “Do you hate it so much, the thought of being the Lady of Storm’s End?”

“It is not about Storm’s End.”

“It is about the man,” Ben stated, not asked.

The man they had seen beating one lord or knight after another in endless wine-cup wars, whose hands had groped, grabbed, tickled and slapped countless female bosoms and backsides throughout the night, who did not seem to care that the woman he was betrothed to was sitting in the same hall, watching him with eyes wide open.  

“He will love me, Ned said. Love, and marriage, will change him, Ned claimed.”

“Ned is a fool when it comes to his foster brother.”              

The fight (part 2) // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: Shawn arranges to meet with Y/n where they break up (spoilers alert)

Authors note: Y/n cries a lot I’m sorry

Just, can you meet me at the coffee shop on main please, 5:00 pm. I just want to talk.

My heart hammers as I read the text, my stomach twisting with nerves. Its been 3 weeks since Shawn has left for tour or more so left with the door slamming shut as our parting words.

We hadn’t spoken, hadn’t texted, and this was the first form of connection I had received from him. I had wanted to say something, the amount of messages I typed then deleted was more than I could remember. I just didn’t know what to say.

I’m sorry? Sorry for expressing how I felt? Sorry for wanting to fix our relationship before it was too late and I loose him? What I feared the most however, had came true.

“Thank you for meeting me, I know you were probably working,” Shawn tells me, holding the hot cup of coffee in his hands to provide warmth on the brisk winter night.

“I never work on Tuesday’s,” I murmur, already feeling my sense of hope draining away.

“Oh…right,” He coughs awkwardly.

“So how’s tour going?” I ask, smiling faintly, trying to find something to fill the silence that was so unlike us.

“Its awesome, Milan was amazing- we played there a couple nights ago, I loved it,” 

I watch the bright spark light his eyes, just the way it does every time he talks about music or his fans.

“Thats awesome Shawn, I’m gl-”

“Listen Y/n,” Shawn cuts me off, my smile falling. “I’m going to have to stop you there, I arranged this meeting for a specific reason.”

I can feel my hands shaking and I desperately try to keep them still.

“And that is?”

“I want to break up,” His voice is steady when he says it, drastically opposite to the way I felt. It was like I was standing on a boat, a boat that was heading straight for a tidal wave- knocking the ship over and sending me flying into the water.

Of course I saw this coming, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. There was a small piece of me that was still fighting for him. 

“W-why?” I stammer out, wanting a valid reason for the separation he seemed to crave.

“I..” he trails off not knowing what to say.

“We hardly talk anymore, you deserve a better boyfriend then me, Y/n. One that will actually spend time with you,”

“Can’t we work on us? If that’s the reason? Shawn I don’t want anyone else, I want you,” I cry, the water seeping from my eyes coming quicker.

“I… can’t” His own eyes filling with tears.

“Thats what you said last time,” I sob. “Then I didn’t hear from you until this morning. Why can’t you just talk to me?”

“Y/n please don’t make this any harder,” Shawn says firmly, almost appearing angry at my pleading.

“Shawn please,” I beg, not wanting to give up.

“Y/n, calm down, I’m not what you want anymore, I’m only going to hurt you okay? You’re going to find someone so much better if you first just let me go,”

“Is that what you want?” I whisper, tears rolling down my puffy cheeks.

“Y/n,” Shawn says quietly, avoiding my eyes.

“Just tell me its what you want and I won’t fight, I’ll let you go, only though if its what you want,”

He pauses, “It is,”

“Then its final. I hope you made the right decision Shawn, good luck with tour,”

With that said, I pick up my coffee and walk out the door, this time I’m the one slamming it shut.

Clark’s Niece - Part 7

I’m so sorry that this took at long!!! But I finally wrote it!! Let me know what you guys think, or if you want drabbles from this story line!!!!


You wake up to the feeling of fingers gently running through your hair, slowly brushing the stray wisps away from your face.

“Stay just like that, Beloved. Do not move” A phone camera goes off, “I need to keep this, as I will not see you until tomorrow”

“We’ve been apart for longer, Dami, no need to get all sentimental on me”

Damian lets out a soft chuckle, pressing a kiss to your forehead, he pulls you close again, “We’ll need to get up soon. Brown and Cain will be here soon to take you to the Manor”

“I know. I just need a few more minutes with you”

The two of you lay in bed, enjoying each other’s company, “Did you ever think this day would come?”

Propping yourself up on Damian’s chest, you flash a cheeky smile, “What day? The day Damian Wayne gets married? The press is going to be a nightmare”

Your fiancé nuzzles into your hair, “Do not worry about the press, beloved. Lex and my mother have the security detail handled. I would like to see a reporter get past Mercy”

“Me too, actually. It would be hilarious”

Twenty minutes later there’s loud knocking on your front door, and Stephanie announcing her arrival. “Come on, Y/N!! You better be up and ready!!”

“I’ll let them in, you get the coffee ready?”

Damian groans, but heaves himself out of bed, “Of course.”

Stephanie and Cassandra hurry you through breakfast, and before you know it you’re giving Damian one last kiss and being hustled into a waiting car.

“So, what the plan?”

“Well! We have to have one final fitting on your dress, check over everything at the Manor, make sure that everything is ready for tomorrow, and have the best sleep over in the world!!”

“Who’s gonna be at the sleepover?”

“Me, Cas, Bab, and Diana”

You nod, “So it’s a bridesmaid only sleepover”

“Yup! I called Diana, she’s already at the seamstress’. She really took being your maid of honor seriously”

As you grew up, you and Diana had become closer. The Amazon princess taught you a lot about the world, about fighting, and about friendship. After Damian and Conner, you would say that Diana is your best friend.

“Good, lets hurry through the fitting so we can grab a coffee”

Cassandra lets out a soft chuckle, “More coffee?”

“Steph only let me have half a cup!! It’s sacrilege!!!”

Stephanie bursts into laughter, “Fine, fine. We can all get coffee before we head back to the Manor”

“Thank you!”

Once everything is done for the day, and the five of you are all gathered in the huge nest-like cinema room, you finally manage to break away from the group and call Damian.

“Hello, Beloved”

“Hey, Dami”

“I have missed you, Amira, more than I can ever convey”

“I missed you too, but we’ll see each other tomorrow”

Damian sighs, “I wish you were here now, I hate to sleep in our bed alone”

“I know you do, love, but it’s only for one night. Have you practiced your vows?”

“Of course, I would not forget them because they are what I think every time I think of you”

Diana steps into the hallway with you, “Stephanie grows impatient, Y/N. You will see your love tomorrow, tonight it is time to spend with friends”

“I have to go, babe”

“Of course, I love you”

“I love you too, Dami. Dream of me”

“Always. Goodnight, my Beloved”


Slowly pulling the phone away from your ear, you turn to your best friend, “Is it bad that I miss him?”

Diana’s smile is sad, “No, it shows that you truly love each other, and love is something to be cherished. I hope this night passes quickly, so you may be returned to your love”

“Thanks, Diana. It … it means a lot to have you here. I know that you’ve know me since I was a child, but I’m really glad that you’re my maid of honor, that you’re my best friend”

Diana pulls you into a hug, “You are the sister I never had. I brings me joy to see you find happiness. It is my honor to be your friend, Y/N. I have never been in a human wedding, but I know that yours will be beautiful”

“Thanks, Diana. I’m … I’m so nervous, but at the same time I’m so excited”

“You know that your uncle will cry, yes?”

You smirk, looping an arm trough Diana’s and leading her back to the sleep over, “I’m counting on it”

The next day is a flurry of motion. Between getting your makeup and hair done, and practicing your vows, making sure that everyone has arrived, and then getting into your dress, you begin to wonder why you and Damian didn’t elope.

“Well, well, well … aren’t you the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen, darling”

“Uncle Lex!!” You fling your arms around him, “You’re late”

Lex chuckles, “I’m never late, everyone else is always early”

You roll your eyes, “I thought it was the brides job to be late for the wedding, not the escort”

“In all seriousness, thank you” Lex leans forward, pressing a careful kiss to your cheek, “When you and Damian first promised yourselves to each other, I told him that I wanted to walk you down the aisle. That was my one condition to allowing you two to continue dating. But you chose me all on your own, when you have hundreds of better people to give you away, you still chose me”

Hearing Uncle Lex’s voice thicken makes your eyes fill with tears, “You had better stop, Steph will kill me if you make me cry before I even get to the alter”

He lets out a hoarse chuckle, clearing his throat and straightening his suit jacket, “I’d have to ruin that pretty dress with blood stains, darling.” Lex glances at his watch, “Come one, the bridal procession should be starting soon.”

Most of the ceremony is a blur. You and Damian can’t stop staring at each other, just gazing into each other’s eyes.

“And you two have decided to write your own vows. Damian if you would like to start”

“Y/N … I love you. I’ve loved you since we were children. You were the first person that I ever loved, and the only one that I ever intend to love. You are my sun, the one who gives me life. I will love you until the day we die, and even beyond death. I promise to always take care of you, to always make you happy. I know that we will fight, but I promise to never go to bed angry, and to always wake with you in my arms. You were my first friend, you are my best friend, and are now my wife.” Unbidden tears well up, spilling down your cheeks, “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Amira”

You sniffle, “You’ve always had a way with words, Dami”

The priest clears his throat, “And Y/N, if you would say your vows now”

“I knew that I would marry you the moment I saw you. When you were standing there brooding, I knew that it would be my life mission to make you smile. Damian, I love you, I love you more than the tides love the moon. Every day it feels like my love for you grows even more, and at this point I don’t know how that’s possible. You complete me. You make me whole. I promised to love you when we were children, and that promise hasn’t change. I now promise to stand with you in everything you do, to be your rock, to be the person to take care of you. I promise to never betray your trust, and to stay with you through all life’s adventures.”

The two of you slide the wedding rings onto each other’s fingers. “I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now kiss the bride”

Damian sweeps you into an all-encompassing kiss. The two of you are so wrapped up in each other that you don’t even hear the crowd stand up and cheer. He pulls back, barely an inch, lips still brushing against yours, “I love you … Mrs. Wayne”

“And I love you … Mr. Wayne”

You and your husband quickly make your way down the aisle while everyone cheers.

Once everything is over, the wedding, the reception, the plane ride to your honeymoon spot, you finally fell like you can relax with your new husband.

“I love you”

Lips press gently against yours, “I love you too. Always, Beloved”

“I’m glad you were my first friend, Dami”

Damian curls his arms around you, pressing the two of you close, “This is the happiest day of my life”

Slowly tracing your fingers along the planes of Damian’s face, you smile up at him, “Then I’m gonna make it even better”

Your husband raises one dark eyebrow, obviously not believing you, “And how to you intend to do that, Amira?”

Leaning forward you press your lips against Damian’s ear, “I’m pregnant”

Overboard | 4

It’s too much, feels like I’m drowning without your love…

Intro: When you’re on a cruise ship to get away from life, the first thing on your mind isn’t to find love. That is, until you met him. Part 1 2 3

Keep reading

☾Taeyeon Songs & The Moon Signs☽

These songs were all chosen from her newest album, “My Voice.” For me, this album is the perfect representation of the aftermath of a relationship. A lot of the tracks are bittersweet recollections of memories with her past lover, but there’s a few where you can really see that she is healing, slowly but surely. I would also like to note that these lyrics are translated from Korean, so they may sound a bit “off” if that makes sense; however, I feel like the main ideas of the song choices are still present anyway. Please don’t let the fact that the songs aren’t in English deter you from listening to this masterpiece. Taeyeon has one of the most beautiful voices I have ever heard and everyone deserves to hear her sing. Hope you guys enjoy one of my favorite albums ever! 

Originally posted by girls-generation

Aries Moon: “Fire”

You’re the fire

I’m pulled by your warmth

You spread inside of me when I open my eyes

Only traces of ash remain

Oh you’re the fire

Oh I know you’re the fire.

Taurus Moon: “When I Was Young”

When I, when I was young

Back then, when I was you and you were me

When I, when I was a fool

When I didn’t know anyone but only you

How was it? Was it alright?

Gemini Moon: “Feel So Fine”

I’ve only dreamed of myself like this

I still can’t believe it

The spilling sunlight, the passing wind

Just realize I feel so fine.

Cancer Moon: “Sweet Love”

Crying for love, if we can grow as deep

As the amount of tears we shed

We would swim in a blue ocean

And be each other’s lights

As we leave in each other’s warm embrace

I’m in love.

Leo Moon: “Cover Up”

Boy I can’t cover up my heart

When I see you, laughter seeps out

Without knowing, you come into me

My feelings are growing, boy I can’t cover up.

Virgo Moon: “Lonely Nights”

I wanna go someplace unfamiliar

And create a world without any trace of you

Unfamiliar streets, people, that’s okay

I live so busily but then I see you again

Every time, it shakes me up

Some things never change

I know that you’re not here.

Libra Moon: “Eraser”

An eraser that will completely erase you

I need it to forget you

An eraser that will wash me clean

So I won’t want you again

A racer toward her goal

In this heart, chaser, I’ll become brand new.

Scorpio Moon: “I Got Love”

Tell me, want you baby, want you baby

It’s like a universe inside of you

Need you closer, if I fall in

I flutter in the restless sighs too

As if drunk, I’m lost in a dream, in you

Can you believe me?

Sagittarius Moon: “I’m OK”

At one time,

I believed we would be together

But now I’m sending those days off to the wind

Far away

It’s alright, now I’ll find my own way

I wanna follow my dream

I’m okay, okay.

Capricorn Moon: “Time Lapse”

Still when I think of your name

I get tears in my eyes and if I close my eyes for a moment

I see you and even when everything is changing

You are the only constant in the same spot

You keep making me cry looking the same way you did as always.

Aquarius Moon: “Fine”

Between the meaningless jokes, back-and-forth conversations

And all the people, I look like I’m fine

I pretend to be numb and I try to smile

I try to turn around from your shadow but

I keep thinking about our last moment.

Pisces Moon: “Love In Color”

With a clear color, you seeped into me

A love light

Filled up our times together

When we colored each other

The love that was clear in my heart

The color is fading

I’m walking in the darkness alone.

-Admin L

proud (an antoine griezmann imagine)

Originally posted by judgynando

summary: atletico madrid get knocked out of the copa del rey and antoine looks to his girlfriend for comfort

You hadn’t been able to make it to the game that evening. Instead of heading to Barcelona to watch the match live and cheer Atletico on from the stands, you’d been forced to rely on Twitter, thanks to your boss insisting on holding a meeting the next morning at 9am.

If it were any other match, you would have been disappointed. Instead, you’re kind of grateful. Watching Antoine’s face fall and a sad smile grace his features as the team applauded the away fans had been bad enough through your laptop screen, and you’re pretty sure seeing it in the flesh would have been enough to make you never want to watch a football match again.

Keep reading

Nightmares and New Toys - Carl Grimes x Reader

Lorelai talks very maturely for her age, but this isn’t something I’ve just made up as an excuse for her to talk like a five year old. When you have older siblings and cousins then it’s easier to pick up information. Say the kid wants to keep up with their five older siblings who are all older than six, the child has to learn everything faster. I know many kids who have gone through this. 

Request: @livelikethereisnomidnight (The link isn’t working so I really hope you get to see this!)

Summary: Carl and the Reader are older and have two children. Their daughter Lorelai has a nightmare and needs her father to cheer her up.

Characters: The Reader, Carl, Lorelai and Glenham

POV: Second Person

Warnings: Fluff and lots of cuteness

Nightmares and New Toys

It was two in the morning when you woke up to the sound of crying. Immediately you jumped up in your bed and grabbed the pistol you kept on the nightstand. Feverishly searching around your room for an intruder, only to lay eyes on your husband, Carl. He was running to the door, hastily while trying to put on his night pants. This would have been the moment when you yelled at him for never listening to you and putting clothes on after you had sex, but you were focused on the crying that you now identified as your daughter.

“Carl, what happened?” You asked, but he was already down the hallway in her room. Following after him you practically flew into the room, praying to God that the cause of her tears wouldn’t be a monstrous creature tearing her soft flesh from her little bones. To your relief, you walked in to see her crying into Carl’s shoulder. He was rubbing her back and whispering into her ear.

“Baby, it’s okay. It’s okay, daddy’s here now. I love you my little Lorelai.” Lorelai continued to cry into his shoulder,

“D-d-daddy, t-the m-monster e-eaten y-you a-and mo-mommy.” You ran over to her, she must have had a bad dream.

“Baby, no. Daddy and I are right here, we’re okay. Lorelai, you’re safe, we all are.” She stayed, a tiny little thing enveloped in Carl’s big arms. Her arms squeezed around his neck,

“Mommy, they took you from me.” You looked at Carl and he gave you a sad smile. You knew what he was asking. He wanted you to let Lorelai sleep in your bed, something you had dealt with for nearly three years. You were done with letting her kick you off your own bed, but seeing how upset she was you nodded at Carl and he smiled brightly.

“Hey, babygirl. Do you want to lay in mommy and daddy’s bed.” She picked her head up from his shoulder and looked at him,

“Mhmm. I want to lay with you and mommy.” He rubbed the back of her head in his hand and you wiped the tears from her cheeks. Carl handed you Lorelai and you went back into your bedroom, only to find your son laying under three layers of blankets. You smiled at Carl,

“It doesn’t seem like we’re getting any sleep.” He chuckled.

“It’s okay, I got a shift at seven.” You set Lorelai on the bed and tucked her under the covers next to Glenham. Carl sat down next to Glenham and kissed his forehead. “Hey, buddy. What are you doing here?” Glenham stretched his arms and yawned.

“I heard you guys were up and I wanted to get up, too.” You scoffed.

“Bubby, we’re up because Lorelai had a bad dream.” He looked over at her and hugged her.

“No, Lorelai, don’t cry. Don’t cry, little sister.” You put your hand over your chest and looked up at Carl. He mouthed to you, ‘He’s so sweet’. You nodded and got under the covers.

“Lorelai, you okay now?” She frowned and shook her head at you. You thought about what would cheer her up. She loved ice cream, but it was not even three in the morning. She loved playing with Glenham and Hershel on the little swings Rick installed, but it was too early to be waking everyone up with the sound of their cackling laughter. What about blueberry muffins. The other day Carl found a powdered box of muffin mix so you made them yesterday. No one was allowed to eat them because you were saving them for the party Rick and Michonne were throwing for everyone, but you could always make more.

“Would you feel better if daddy got you a muffin.” She practically shot up from the bed,

“Yes, yes, yes! Daddy, get me a muffin!” She squealed, zealously. You giggled as Carl groaned.

“Baby, why me? Why can’t you go get them?” You gave him a mischievous smirk and reached over top of Lorelai and Glenham and gave him a teasing kiss on the cheek. It was soft, but full of desire and it lasted just long enough to get him going, but not long enough to satisfy his lust.

“You’re going to go get them muffins because mommy knows daddy wants to play with mommy’s toys. If daddy doesn’t, mommy won’t let daddy touch her toys, ever again.” Carl virtually fell off the bed and raced down the stairs. You fell on the bed laughing hysterically.

“Mommy, you have new toys? I want to play with them.” Glenham exclaimed with a smiled.

“Yeah, I want to play with them, too.” Lorelai shouted. Your eyes became the size of cantaloupes. What could you say? You couldn’t exactly tell your children they couldn’t play with your toys because that would more incest and sexual abuse. They didn’t know what most of that sentence meant. They were toddlers.

“Bubby’s, I was just kidding. I don’t have any new toys, but I promise when I go on the run tomorrow with Grandpa Rick, Grandma Michonne and Auntie Judith we’ll definitely get you new toys.” They both frowned.

“Mommy, that’s too bad. I really wanted to play with your new toys.” Lorelai said with her arms crossed.

“Yeah, but daddy’s bringing you muffins. Doesn’t that sound yummy?” You asked.

“Yay!” They shouted. As if on cue Carl walked in the room with a plate of muffins. He sat on the bed and the kids immediately grabbed a muffin scarfing it down.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, you must really be hungry, you’re eating like walkers.” You giggled and hugged him.

“I love you.” He kissed the side of your head.

“I love you, too. Now, let’s get them back to bed.” With full bellies, the kids fell back asleep and you and Carl followed suit.

“Y/N, babe. Hey, wake up, I have to go.” It was Carl, he was shaking your arm. You yawned and stretched your arms over your head.

“Hey, you’re leaving now?” He nodded, you sat up and looked over at Lorelai and Glenham.

“They’re still asleep, just let them.” He whispered and you nodded. Looking into his eyes in a moment of silence you cupped the back of his neck in your hand. Your fingers dancing on the silky waves that fell effortlessly from his head. He raised his hand and wrapped one of his arms around you, the other rested on your cheek, slowly stroking your smooth skin. Unable to take the tension you brought his lips to yours, melding them together in heavenly bliss. The arm around your waist lowered as he cupped your ass, pulling you into his lap. His tongue circled yours, enlisting a moan from deep in your throat. Your hips began to gyrate into his unintentionally, but neither of you were against it.

“Mommy?” Lorelai asked. You finally realized you were dry-humping your husband in the same bed as your children and you scurried away from him. Carl practically leapt from the bed.

“Hey, baby girl. Did you sleep well?” You asked her, pulling your shirt down from where Carl had accidentally pushed it up. She rubbed her eyes and sat up.

“No nightmares?” Asked Carl, from the corner of the room. Lorelai nodded ‘yes’ and Carl walked back over to the bed in front of . “Good, baby I have to go now so give me a kiss.” He said puckering his lips out to her. Lorelai screamed,

“No, daddy! Don’t go! Daddy, please stay!” You and Carl looked at each other, surprised. Carl got in the middle of the bed and pulled her into his arms.

“Baby, don’t cry. Hey, it’s okay.”

“Then don’t go, daddy!” She cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. He cradled her and started to sing,

“You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy”

You layed down on the bed in a curled up ball. His voice was cracked and hoarse, but it was beautiful in its own way. The way he held her was mesmerizing, his love for her evident in the tightness of his hug. You just watched, as he looked into her eyes with more love for one human being than you had ever seen before.

“When skies are gray

You’ll never know dear

How much, I love you

So please don’t take

My sunshine away”

When he finished she was gingerly touching his cheeks, smiling at his beautiful blue eyes. He made a face and she started to giggle.

“Daddy! You’re so silly!” You smiled at the adorable action. They were so sweet together.

“I am, but baby I have to go now. Can you let me?” She frowned and crossed her arms.

“Fine daddy,” She paused. “But under one condition, you bring me more muffins.”

“I can do that.” He said as he bent down to kiss her nose. She giggled under his gentle touch and he sat her back down on the bed.

“Bye daddy, bring me muffins.” She said, bouncing on the bed.

“Bye my baby, I love you.” He said with a sad smile.

“I love you, too.” She responded happily. You got up off the bed and walked to him. He pulled you in by your waist and kissed you.

“I love you, Carl.”

“I love you, too.” You smiled at each other and he suddenly gave you a mischievous smirk.

“Can we set up some playtime tonight, you did promise me.” You scoffed and put a hand over your heart.

“I promise you nothing,” He frowned. “But I don’t see why not. I’m nice about sharing my toys.” He chuckled and brought your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

“Daddy? What are you doing? Go get my muffins.” You and Carl started howling at Lorelai. She was adorable.

“Fine, I’m going. Love you guys, see you soon.” Carl said, defensive. You shook your head in disbelief and hugged him.

“Have fun.” He gave you a questioning look and walked out the door.

“I won’t have fun until I get to play with your toys.” You giggled as he lept down the stairs and out the door. Wow, it was going to be hard to wait for him to get back.

Love you all! 😗 Like and Comment, I love feedback, even if its constructive! Hope you have a super great rest of your week!

Originally posted by loveviral

Bad Girl Ch 10: Who Needs A Hug?

You guys asked for it!

“I have to call him,” I hold my hand out expectantly, Suho just stares at me, his lips in a firm line. My fingers run through my hair in frustration, “You honestly expect me to not talk to him? Are you kidding me? This whole thing is a mess, I have to talk this through with him and you have my phone so hand it over.”

“Baby,” Luhan comes up behind me and places a hand on my shoulder. “We just got you back, we don’t want you anywhere near that bastard.”

“That bastard is my fiancé until proven guilty and even if all of this was his fault that doesn’t mean I coming back. But beyond this whole mess I have other responsibilities, other people who will be worried about me,” I pause as my own words sink in. “I wonder if Jiyong told Jiho about all of this, he must be so worried, I need my phone now!”

“We need to talk,” Suho says sternly but I’m not afraid of him or little anymore, I don’t back down.

“If you don’t want to give me my phone give me any phone. I need to call Jiho and after that I need to call Jiyong to talk to him about some things.”

“Suho, just do it, she won’t give up,” Luhan sighs.

Suho hands over my phone, anger in his eyes, “Put it on speaker.”

I roll my eyes, “Fine.” I eagerly search through my phone for Jiho’s number and call him.

He answers on the second ring, “Oh my god pretty bird are you okay?”

“I’m fine Oppa, just a bit shaken up,” I admit, relaxation washes over me at the sound of his voice. I didn’t know I could miss his stability so much.

“Where are you? I’m coming to get you!”

“Like hell you are!” Suho roars making me jump away from him, right into Luhan’s arms.

The older glares daggers at him, “Suho you aren’t scaring anyone except for Jooyoung, stop it with that bull shit.”

“Is that them?” Jiho snarls.

“Oppa please stay calm,” I beg into the phone, “I need someone to be my rock right now because I can’t do this. I need you to be calm and level headed, I need you to be my voice of reason. You are always able to help me through so I need you to do that right now, please?”

He is quiet for a moment before humming a soft, “As you wish.”

“Thank you, I just wanted to tell you that I’m okay, well mostly,” My hand goes to rest on the bandage concealing the cut on my neck.

“How long are you going to be there?”

I look up at Suho and Luhan who are staring right back at me, waiting for my response as well. I shrug, “I need to talk to Jiyong before even thinking about tonight, tomorrow for sure, we still have to meet with Youngguk so I’ll message you where to pick me up before that. Is everything all set for tonight?”

“You are basically in your own hostage situation, stop thinking about other people. Hanbin and his guys will get the kid, you and I need to get you home safe, alright?”

“Okay Oppa, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

He sighs, “I’ll be waiting, call if you need anything.”

“Of course.”

“I love you little sister,” He hums softly into the phone.

“Stop sounding so emotional you are hurting my heart,” I mimic back to him what he told me hours ago. A sad smile spreads on my face, how things have changed in such a short time, “I love you too Oppa, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hang up and press my phone to my head for a moment, taking a few deep breaths to keep myself from crying. Be strong, you have to be strong. I can’t let them see that I’m weak, I will not let them make me small again.

“Who the hell was that?” Suho asks in a quiet, but still very upset, voice.

“Let’s wait until I call Jiyong to talk about things, I’d preferred to only get yelled at once by you today if that’s possible,” I snap back at him while I call Jiyong. I have to keep my brave face on.

“My love?” Jiyong answers hopefully.

I sigh, “Oppa.”

“Are you okay? Did they hurt you at all? There was a lot of commotion and than the line when dead, I had no idea what happened,” His voice is filled with panic. I begin to wonder if this sweet man could think of such a plan, fake my death and claim to the world that I’m a fake, could he really do that?

“I’m fine Oppa.”

“Thank God, what are they planning on doing now? Did those bastards let you go?”

“No, but you are on speaker so I would keep the trash talking to a minimum.”

He scoffs, “They wouldn’t dare hurt you.”

“But they could lock me back up and throw away the key.”

“I wouldn’t let them do that to you again.”

I take a deep breath and ask, “Oppa, could I ask you a few things? These things have been weighing a lot on my heart.”

“Of course my love, anything,” He answers eagerly.

I can barely get myself to say it, “Did you plan my kidnapping?”

“Of course not! I would never do anything to hurt you!”

“Is Jiho involved in this lie?” That seems harder to say than the first. I can’t imagine the horrible reality of Jiho being involved in this, the thought rips out my heart.

He is quiet for a moment, “He wasn’t really involved. He just doesn’t know all of it. I would like to explain that better but that would just give you more questions.”

“I really want to ask you why you lied to me. I want to know how this is connected to my kidnapping but I need to ask that to your face so I will wait.”

“How long?”

I flop to the floor on my butt and let out a heavy sigh, “I’m going to talk to these guys for awhile. We have a lot to talk about, and I told them until I know what is going on we are still engaged so please don’t worry about anything happening.”

“I trust you completely. When do you think you will be coming home?”

“I told Jiho that I would be going to my meeting tomorrow so I can come by after that so we can talk.”

“Does that mean you are sleeping there?”

“I have to talk to twelve men who were grieving over my death for a year, three of them tried to kill themselves because of it, I have a long night of talking a head of me.”

He sighs, there is a thunk and I imagine him resting his head on his desk, “I love you. I love you so much, don’t ever forget that. I will make lunch for us and we can sit down and talk, okay?”

“Okay Oppa, I’ll see you then,” I pause for a moment before I admit, “I love you too.” I hang up before he has the chance to talk me into coming home now, I know he could.

“You love him?” Suho echoes, both hurt and angry.

“I do love him, I wouldn’t be getting married to him if I didn’t love him,” I state as if it is obvious.

“What about us baby?” Luhan wonders, “Do you still love us?”

“Yes,” I sigh and begin running my hands through my hair, “Of course I love you. I’m just mad and confused… and… and I just don’t know what is going on.”

“Are you mad at us?”

“Of course I’m mad at you! But not because of this whole abandoning thing right now, I’m mad because of how all of you handled me being gone! Look at you guys, your younger brothers are a mess, why didn’t you take care of them?”

“We all had problems of our own Baby, but can I ask you something, since you still love us?”

I sigh, “What?”

“Can I hug you?” He chokes on his words as he opens his arms up to me. For a brief second I consider pushing him away and just storming out but I don’t, I can’t get myself to. I stare at him, taking in his thinner face and body, there are bags under his eyes and I can’t stop my heart from breaking. I step closer to him and wrap my arms around him, enjoying the familiar scent. “I’ve missed you so much,” His face is tucked into the crook of my neck, I can feel his tears making my skin sticky.

“Hush, Lulu, it’s okay now, I’m not dead, I’m right here,” I coo softly. I kiss the top of his head before pulling away. Suho is watching us with bloodshot eyes, he’s trying not to cry but failing. Tears start forming in my own eyes as I open my arms to him, “Come on Suho, I know you want one too.”

He doesn’t hesitate to basically tackle me to the ground, “I’m so sorry.” I lay there with my arms wrapped around his head, his weight resting on top of me, a position I’m not used to with him. He feels so small right now, so sad and weak.

“I forgive you, please stop crying,” My hand rubs his back in a soothing motion, trying to calm the normally strong man. Luhan joins us on the floor, he pulls my head into his lap and begins running his fingers through my hair as he stares down at me. We just lay there for a while enjoying the familiar feeling of each others company. I don’t know how much time has passed when someone knocks on the door. None of us respond.

“How are things going?” Kris asks as he opens the door.

“Pretty good, I guess,” I smile at him.

“Can I have a turn?” Kris comes closer and nudges Suho with his foot. I pat the younger on the back signaling him his turn is done.

Suho shakes his head and holds me tighter, “Can’t I just stay here forever?”

“There is going to be a line forming soon,” The giant whines. “I want more than five seconds with her.” Suho groans but rolls off me and glares up at the older.

“You have at most thirty seconds before someone else comes, you better hurry,” I open my arms up yet again. He eagerly joins us on the floor and takes the same position as Suho with his head on my chest. Only a moment passes before four more figures are in the door way. “Sorry, I guess it was only thirty seconds from when you walked in the door.”

He looks over his shoulder as his younger brothers before kicking the door closed. “I have twenty seconds left with you in peace.”

I chuckle but do nothing more.

“We have all night, right?” Luhan wonders.

I nod, “My meeting is at noon so Jiho will pick me up tomorrow morning around 10 since he’ll have a lot of questions himself.”

“Who is Jiho?” Suho asks.

I sigh, “Five more seconds then we can go back to the living room and I’ll explain everything that happened after I was kidnapped.”

“That’s too long,” Sehun whines from outside.

“Shut your mouth punk,” Kris growls.

I smack his back, “Don’t talk like that to your little brother. You were whining less than a minute ago.”

“Noona,” Sehun calls, “Noona.”

“I’m coming Sehunnie,” I roll Kris over so I’m on top before quickly jumping to my feet and rushing through the door, leaving the older boys dumbstruck on the floor. I pull the door open revealing Sehun, Kai, Tao, and Kyungsoo. “Lets go to the living room before the hugs start again.” I lead the group of boys back into the living room where Xiumin, Chanyeol, Chen, and Lay are all waiting. They jump to their feet at the sign of my return.  I can see the hesitance to approach me in their body language making me chuckle. I was the one who was kidnapped yet they are the ones afraid while I’ve never felt more powerful in their presence, “Who’s first?”

“Me!” Sehun picks me up and brings me to the couch. His body wraps around mine like a snake, holding me tight in his embrace.

“So everything is okay?” Chanyeol assures.

“Things aren’t okay,” I admit, “but we are going to figure it out. I am leaving tomorrow morning to talk to Jiyong but you guys have me until then to talk about everything.”

“Are you going to go back to him?” Chen squeaks.

“I need to talk to him before I decide anything fully.”

“What if it was all him?” Xiumin questions, “What if he planned all of this so he could have you all to himself? Will you come back to us?”

“I don’t know,” I snap but regret it a moment later when all of them basically deflate. “Look guys I’m sorry for snapping but you need to give me more than a few hours to deal with this news. My life was completely flipped upside down and I don’t know who I can trust right now.”

“You seem to trust that Jiho guy,” Suho points out.

“Your time is up,” Kai points out before pulling me out of the youngest’s grip and into his own.

“Who is Jiho?” The group says in a chorus.

“Jiho is my close friend and body guard. He’s like a big brother.”

Kris crinkles his nose in disgust, “Does he have anything to do with your kidnapping?”

“No!” I say firmly, both for myself and for them, “He would never do that to me. He was there when I got attacked, they knocked him out too. I trust him with my life, he is my guardian angel so leave him out of this.”

“Fine,” Kris holds his hands up in surrender.

“Let me go.”

“What do you say?”

I narrow my eyes at him, “Please.”



He pouts, “You said it to Suho hyung earlier and Baekhyun hyung too.”

“I already told you I am not your little girl,” I sneer.

“Stop saying that, you are her. You are my baby!” He actually yells holding me tighter but I force my way out of his embrace onto my feet.

“I am Kim Jooyoung,” I protest, “I am the white dragon of Korea, I am not some innocent little child.”

“White dragon?” Kyungsoo questions. “The black dragon’s new partner in crime? The person who has been involved in all of those gun and drug deals, that white dragon?”

I nod, “The one and only.”

“That is impossible,” Chanyeol tries to shake the idea out of his head. “I’ve heard the white dragon is brutal, he has ordered at least a dozen gangs to be either wiped out or taken over. He has a thousand foot soldiers and Jiyong’s own personal henchmen on call. You can’t be that person, I don’t believe it.”

I roll my eyes at him, “Why does it have to a he? I’ve changed a lot in this last year, more than I ever thought possible but here I am. The technical queen to one of the biggest mafia groups in Asia.”

“How could Jiyong let you into this world? Do you have any idea how dangerous this is for you?” Suho snaps. “This will not be continuing when you come home.”

“This is our problem, right here!” I snarl back, “You guys need to stop forcing me into a bubble. Who said I was coming back here? I don’t want to go anywhere where I can’t be who I want to be.”

“And this is who you want to be?” Kai gestures to all of me.

“Damn right.”

“You don’t honestly think this is a good life for you, do you?” Sehun is completely dumbfounded by me right now.

“We just want what is best for you,” Yixing tries with a calm voice, “We want to keep you safe from all of this.”

“Too late now. I am in this, I am actually running this. Now let me tell you guys something that you need to understand. If I do come back to this house, I’m not saying I’m going to, but if I do you can’t baby me all the time. You can’t keep me locked in this house or in an office. I will come and go as I please because I will not leave my work. I worked hard to get involved in this world and I’m not leaving because you want to keep me safe. If you can’t understand that tell me now so I don’t waste my time here tonight.”

The room is dead silent.

I chuckle dryly, “Is that really such a hard limit for you? You can’t give me my freedom? I’ll give you guys some time to think on things, I’m going to give Baekhyun the same speech. Even thought he just about killed me maybe he’s calmed down enough to know if he really love me or just my little side.” I turn and take a few steps toward the doorway when someone grabs my arm.

“I love you,” Xiumin confesses. “I love you when you are little, when you are big, when you are mad, when you are happy, I love you so much it hurts. I will give you anything you want, just please don’t leave me again.”

Of course it’s him. He stares at me with that cat like eyes and I find myself smiling. I let him pull me into his arms and almost crush me in a hug. My heart flutters, I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder.

“I love you too.”

“Whatever you want,” Luhan sighs coming forward, “I’ll give it.” He joins in on the hug, followed by the rest of the group until I’m drowning in their embrace.

“As nice of a moment this is, I need to talk to Baekhyun too,” I feel bad breaking up the love circle but I don’t feel fair leaving Baekhyun out.

“I can go get him,” Chanyeol quickly volunteers.

I shake my head, “I need to talk to him alone especially after the whole almost killing me thing.”

They part like the red sea for me, I shuffle around the familiar home, up the stairs and down the hall until I’m standing outside his room. I can’t hear anything from the outside but I still knock.

“Just leave me to die,” He grumbles from inside. I open the door anyway and close it behind me. Baekhyun is laying in the middle of the floor with his forehead resting against the wood. He lifts his head only to bring it back down to floor with a quiet thunk. “If you are going to kill me don’t make it fast, I deserve the most painful death imaginable.” His voice is scratchy and strained from crying so much. I can see that the floor is wet from tears.

My heart cracks, “No you don’t.”

His head snaps up to look at me, “Baby?”

I consider telling him not to use my nickname but the broken look in his eyes keeps the words off my lips, replacing them with ones I didn’t want to use, “Hi Daddy.”

“Don’t call me that!” He snaps before returning to the same position, the thunk becomes louder. “I hurt you, I don’t deserve to be your daddy. You should hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. In fact, I love you.”

He shakes his head, “You love Jiyong, you should love Jiyong. He would never hurt you like I did. He protected you for a whole year until I came in and fucked everything up for you. You should just hate me.”

“Stop saying that,” I snap.

“But it’s true!” He scream back, “I ruined everything for you, you would be happy and at home with him right now if it wasn’t for me. I destroy everything! I should just die!” He slams his head down hard on the wood making me jump.

“Baekhyun stop!” I rush over to him as he continues to smack his head again and again.

“I’m sorry baby,” He cries as he keeps going.

“You are hurting yourself stop! You are going to kill yourself!”

“I deserve it!”

Things I Have Been Reading - June

It is the end of June already! During our little heat wave over here I found it difficult to sleep which did kinda suck BUT it meant I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning reading some awesome fics, some of which I present here to you in this list.  

For more fic recs feel free to follow my @girl-next-door-recommends which is a blog I set up fairly recently to keep track of all the great stuff I have been reading.  I also have a tagging system to make it easy to find your fandom amongst the many.

So, without any further pre-amble, here are my fic recs for June 2017…

Keep reading

The boys ages.. and wtf?

The boys ages is a… mystery. No one knows….

Klaus and Elias freak me out.
In MY head Klaus is like 22 or something.
And Elias is like.. (you know that picture of him when he laughs, during his own route) he looks like 13-15. But it makes no sense. It’s supposed to be five years in between them. *Dramatic music* But it still looks to be so much more… (now cry a few tears please).

How old can Luca possibly be??? 20??? I don’t know.

And what the f*ck kinda name is Gedonelune? Can anybody even pronounce that?
I usually pronounce it ‘Gwendolune’. Though I’m pretty sure that’s not it.

Please tell me how old you think the boys are (all of them if you wish) and tell me how you pronounce Gwevnolune or Guenolune or whatever…

Darry x Reader

Title: Cheater

Characters: Darrel Curtis, Ponyboy Curtis, Sodapop Curtis 

Pairing: Darry x Reader

Warnings: lowkey yelling 

Word Count: 776

Summary: Darry thinks the reader is cheating.

A/N: Shit bro I’ve been working on this for so so long and it’s finally done. This was technically requested but I didnt write down the username, so sorry and I Hope you like it dear. (god im awful at this whole writing thing) 

“Damn Soda, he sure ran me ragged today.  Shoot. I almost wasn’ home in time to make dinner.” You exclaimed loudly throwing your bag to land on the couch beside Soda. He laughed and told you he was glad he didn’t have to cook dinner. He’d probably burn the house down, you thought with a light chuckle stopping next to him briefly to ruffle his hair.

You shook your head and kicked off your shoes, making your way into the kitchen to make dinner.  You gasped slightly at the sight of your boyfriend, Darry, home so soon. None the less a smile grew on your face. “Oh, sweetie you’re home! What a pleasant surprise.” You said cheerfully moving to hug your boyfriend.  He returned the hug half-heartedly which surprised you, he always looked forward to holding you close when he got home.

At least he normally did.

With a slight frown, you looked up at him, one of your hands on his chest for support. “What’s wrong Dar?”

“Who’s runin’ you ragged baby girl?” Darry asked his eyes unfocused and colder than usual. You smile,

“Just Al at the Diner” you brushed off his concerns, and you almost frowned at how easily the lie fell from your lips.

It wasn’t that you enjoyed lying to Darry; you just didn’t want to rub it in his face that you could afford to go to college. You were in your third year anyway, you could tell him next year before graduation, and literally beg for his forgiveness. But for now lying it was. He seemed satisfied with your answer anyway and you felt your shoulders sag in relief. Thankfully he didn’t question you further and leaned down greedily kissing your lips.

You sighed quietly as he left the kitchen to without a doubt plop down and question the boys about their days.

“Al sure is tirin’ (Y/N) out at the Diner. Maybe I should have a talk with him, huh Pone?” Darry sighed to Ponyboy.  

“(Y/N) don’ work at the Diner on Fridays, she only works Tuesdays and Thursdays,” Pony said absentmindedly not even looking up from his book. An odd look crossed Darry’s features, which was replaced quickly by his normally stoic face.  He scoffed lightly deciding he wasn’t going to wait to confront you on this.

You cringed hearing Darry’s boots stomp their way into the kitchen. You sighed running a hand through your hair; you just didn’t have the energy to deal with this today. Sure you signed up for these classes but sometimes it was just a little much for you. High school had always drained you mentally so you didn’t really know what you were expecting from college.  

Your train of thought was interrupted by Darry’s hard and unforgiving glare.

“Listen, sweetie-“

“Don’ give me none of that bull (Y/N), I don’ wanna hear it”, Darry growled stalking toward you. You backed up hastily until your back hit the counter.

“Darry I-“

“No!’ He all but shouted, “Give it to me straight. You’re cheatin’ on me aren’t you? I’m not around all that much so you’re sleeping around to get back at me huh? Come on doll tell me.” Darry spat venomously, but you could see the tears glistening in his icy blue eyes.

“Shoot. You got it all wrong baby, it ain’t nothing like that.” You whispered taking his hands.

“Then what is it?” He asked his voice breaking.

“I didn’ wanna tell you ‘cause I thought maybe you’d think I was rubbin’ in the fact you can’t go.” You whispered your voice cracking slightly.

“What baby? You ain’t rubbin’ in nothin’ just tell me. Please.” Darry whispered as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“I-D-don’t cry ‘bout it, I just, I’ve been uh finishing up my college courses, and I thought I shouldn’t tell ya till next year when I’m graduatin’”, you looked down tears filling your own eyes.  

“Oh, baby”, Darry’s voice is hoarse as he steps forward to cup your cheeks.

“I-I I’m so sorry”, you sobbed falling against his chest.

“No. Don’ you be sorry for nothing. I’m so proud of you baby girl. Don’ ever keep your accomplishments from me, you ain’t making no one feel bad.” Darry spoke into your hair; his voice was calm and sweet but held a firmness that made you believe him.

You pulled away to wipe your tears and you chuckled. He laughed too, and you turned back to the stove to finish dinner. Darry’s arms slipped around your waist and his chin nestled into your neck. You smiled, finally feeling refreshed, a weight lifted off your shoulders so you smiled.

Please Just Stay - Ha Sungwoon Requested Scenario


Genre: fluffle

Message?: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO __________________

Everything seemed dull these days with Sungwoon not around.

Obviously I was proud when he debuted, but it never went so well and he was always around.

That wasn’t the case with Produce 101. He was never here.


But today I was going to see him again.

As I walked into the Produce 101 dorm at 8:00am, I saw many other families.

Apparently, they were all sat in different rooms and we’d surprise them but now I was freaking out.

What if I make a fool of myself?! What if I fall over?! What if he doesn’t even react?!

“Mrs Noh!” I exclaimed, seeing Taehyun’s mum, recognising her from Hotshot’s debut party.

“Y/N!” she said. “Hello! How are you?!”

“I’m so nervous,” I said honestly, there were already cameras filming us and we weren’t even with the boys.

“You shouldn’t be nervous,” she said. “This will be one of the only chances you get to see him from now until the end of Produce 101, may as well embrace it.”

I nodded, thinking about her words.

“Families for Noh Taehyun and Ha Sungwoon?” someone asked.

Taehyun’s mum smiled at me and we walked towards the door.

“What relation are you?” a guard asked.



“Y/N Y/L/N.”

He nodded, letting me through and telling me to wait behind the red door.

Inside I heard the PD talking.

“Sungwoon, who do you want to see the most?” she asked.

“Y/N,” he answered, without hesitation.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because she’s done so much for me and I don’t do much for her and I haven’t seen her in ages even though she’s my girlfriend and I just want to see her,” he said, going on and on.

“Go,” someone who I didn’t even realise was behind me said.

I heard the PD whisper, “your welcome,” as I pulled the door handle down and walked in.

“Y/N!” Sungwoon screamed as he turned round, pulling me into the tightest hug I’ve ever felt.

“Y/N,” he said again, whispering this time. “I missed you so much, I’m so so so so so sorry.”

“For what?” I asked, tears stinging my eyes. “You’ve done nothing but make me so proud to be your girlfriend.”

Tears fell from his eyes and he released a sob before I reached up to kiss his nose.

“Don’t cry,” I chuckled, wiping his tears away as some fell from my own eyes.

“I just don’t want to let you down like I did with Hotshot,” he said, sniffling. “You wanted to tell everyone you had an idol boyfriend but no one knew who I was.”

“Sungwoon,” I cried. “I’m just proud to tell people that I have a boyfriend and that you are my boyfriend! I don’t care whether your an idol or not!”

Then continued by whispering, “I just want you to be happy and healthy and I think achieving your dream will do that.”

He nodded, “thank you.”

He pulled me into another hug, tears falling onto my head as he kissed my forehead over and over again.

We heard Taehyun shout with tears from the room next to us and both laughed.

“I love you so much,” I whispered. “Make the top 11, yeah?”

Sungwoon nodded, “but, is that it?”

I looked at the PD and she nodded sadly, “you have until everyone’s seen their relatives.”

More tears fell from Sungwoon’s eyes as she said this.

“Luckily, thats still about 40 turns away,” she whispered.

“Thank you so much,” Sungwoon said to the PD.

“Do you think they’d mind if I stole you for the rest of Produce 101?” he asked. “You can just stay in my bed and I’ll bring you food.”

I laughed, “sounds like a great idea.”

He looked at me with teary eyes, “please just stay.”

And Just Like That... Everything Changed Part 5

I was going to wait til tomorow to post this but I’ve kept you guys waiting so long and I really like this part so I had to post it now! Hopefully I can get part 6 done tomorrow where the plot really picks up!

Here is the link to part four which contains the links to all earlier parts too-

A catastrophic bang, followed by a blood curdling scream was what woke her up. Her body going rigid as it flew up from its awkward positon resting against Jughead’s sleeping form. Her breathing was laboured and her skin clammy as her eyes took a moment to readjust to her surroundings. Her hands trembled where they held Jughead’s and Betty felt a lump in her throat begin to form as mixed emotions infiltrated her system. Part of her was relieved it had just been a nightmare and that no one was actually facing the barrel of a gun before her eyes. But the other part of her sunk and splintered again at the recognition that her nightmare had in fact been real. The broken body of the boy in the bed before her being proof that the traumatising scene had played out hours ago.

Feeling disoriented her eyes searched frantically around the room, her hands gathering the loose strands of her hair into a dishevelled pony tail.


“Betty?” A gruff voice asked. Looking beside her, Betty saw Archie stir, his own body becoming more alert as he was further enveloped by consciousness, a frown of concern forming on his face. Noticing her tears Archie’s body went stiff, panic invading his thoughts.

“Jug, he didn’t-“

“No!” she cut off quickly with a furious shake of her head. Archie relaxed slightly at that, before his body turned toward hers, placing a hand on her knee. She tried not to visibly flinch at the contact. The gesture was friendly,  and one meant to be a show of support- which she truly appreciated- but her skin felt too tight and she was so wound that it felt searing instead. It’s not his fault she reprimanded herself. It wasn’t Archie’s fault that every touch was a harsh reminder that Jughead was incapable of reaching out to her in that moment.

“What happened?” his tone was full of worry and genuine concern. It implored her to answer.

“Bad dream.”

“Oh. Was it….” He swallowed audibly.

“Yeah,” her eyes looked away.

“It was like I was living it all over again,” She admitted after a beat. Her voice sounded weak and on the verge of tears and she took a steadying breath.

Keep reading