no one is here

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oh my god. you guys have been so wonderful these past two weeks! i made iris on a whim &. now, she’s so important to me. you guys are so important to me. every single person in the fandom has made me feel welcomed &. supported.  every single one of you own a portion of my heart, and  i just want to let you guys know just how much i adore you guys.  i could go on for days about how amazing this fandom is, and how much i just enjoy spending time of my dash, but alas, i do not have the time. just know that i love you all, and i honestly highkey want to cry.  thank you guys for dealing with my shitposting, my ooc posts and everything else that consists of well, me.  ( thank you @mcrcenaire 4 the graphics ) 

the following people have my all of my meme loving heart and i adore them so much. i know i will forget people, and i am so sorry. 

@lcncer @daemonslae @mcrcenaire @ofargentum @selfiesun @crownsguardian @inartibus @caelitis  @oracleborn @oflucis @suntek @lastlucis @ofhammerhead @ofnightsky @dacteg @pierccr @pistolslang @aperturetrigger @armgier @argentlined @burysong @etinstabilis @leadingrook @honedskills @kingslight @lucislegend @daemonizing @armigeruser @guradieta @swcrdlily @soirao @blasteredged @badassbarmaid

me: *sees my youtube channel is almost at 5k subs*
me: *sQUEAKS*…I-I-IM…hOLY H E CK…hHH

anonymous asked:

my theory is that mary says that i love you to dean to reach to him when he has forgotten everyone (sort of like the scripted i love you in the cript scene that they cut, i wouldn't be surprised if she also says something like we are family) my worries tho is that they're playing favorites with this gradual loss of memory, seems that dean has no problem remembering mary and sam but cas is the first one he's starting to forget? unnecessary why didn't they make him lose his memory all at once?

This is the sort of speculation I really don’t wanna get into because it’s constructing a whole narrative out of a completely out of context video, and we just don’t know what will happen because even our best guesses can’t account for random curveballs or the context around the quote, which could drastically change the meaning of the delivery. Maybe it’s from some totally different episode and Dean has some urgent reason to worry about Cas specifically - it was layered over Cas having the Horrible Thing Of The Week happen to him, all that black cracking. Which for my best guess would be 12x12 because witch with a grudge :P

For what it’s worth though, ignoring any potential context and just looking straight at that line on its own, to me I am reading that emphasis as very particularly weighted in a GOOD way emotionally towards whatever they’re saying when it comes to including/elevating Cas’s importance. 

For one thing he’s at the end of the list, and has the pause, the stammer and the repetition on his name. If it IS even from the memory episode, the fact that Mary is alive is an obvious thing that would create masses of turmoil for Dean because he’s barely just through all his new turmoil about her anyway. Mary is very important to Dean’s emotional arc this season and it would be low hanging fruit to have Dean reel off the names of the brother who’s been by his side the entire show, followed by his BFF who has been a feature of his life for nearly a decade, followed by stumbling awe/confusion/raw emotion to mention his mother as if he couldn’t even trust she was actually back. (for all the excellence of her return and how it’s been handled, Dean had shock but easy acceptance, because Mary shows up with no strings attached, he knows why, he knows Amara is fully capable of having done it, and so doubt about Mary’s return has been limited only to that one scene at the end of 12x06 where Billie suddenly throws a dark cloud of it - a memory episode dealing with Dean’s Mary issues would be great because it would introduce the uncertainty/doubt even stronger and maybe tackle her permanency some more…)

Similarly, if Dean mentioned Cas first as “Cas is my friend, Mary Winchester is my mother, and Sam - [broken noises trying to explain Sam is his brother and convey how much that means]” then of course the emphasis is a bro bond special emphasising what we already know and have the entire show, but WOULD be the obvious surface level way to take a ranking of who is the most important to Dean (as Dabb said in that last interview that people are taking out of context, Sam and Dean have an obvious history that does give them emotional precedence to each other that Cas an outsider would feel - which I think was what was going on in the car scene in 11x23 on the surface text certainly, that Cas finds “brother” a tough position to share with Sam, which all basically demands that Cas have something different with them that’s not trying to emulate what Sam and Dean have with each other)

Anyway, what we get is a line where Dean gives each member of his family some emotional consideration, but breaks up trying to explain what Cas is to him, and correcting himself to give Cas the right nickname that means more to Dean, and by putting him last, and having a moment of correction and some repetition, is inviting analysis on why that correction (from Castiel to Cas) and generally underlining the care taken in that explanation, and separates Cas from being lumped in with Sam (which, well, IS a high honour to be lumped with except clearly despite what Dean said in 11x23, Cas doesn’t get lumped with Sam, not in his heart, because there’s just something different about Cas to him, and the way he loves him feels different and he’s playing with definitions between brother and BFF)… 

If Dean IS forgetting everything and struggling with Cas the most, then all the careful picking of words is even more interesting, and dealing with losing Cas first isn’t the show just randomly wiping him out of Dean’s memory (especially since Mary has a couple of months so could easily go first and put Dean in a state where up untl the last second of 11x23 Mary wasn’t even a feature in his life any more aside from the obvious how it’s always been until then way…) It would mean a whole lot of screen time dedicated to Dean struggling to remember his relationship with Cas.

Remember in 7x17 where Cas gets his memories back and the first few flashes of memory are like the exact sort of Destiel fan video you’d have cobbled together at the time? Putting the focus on forgetting someone is asking what they’re forgetting and what it means to them to do so. And it says “rapidly losing his memory” so idk what you’re looking for but it seems like he will quickly have some huge and obvious chunks on the way to true oblivion of self… But it’s not a BAD thing for us to see a process of him losing pieces, because what those pieces are and how he loses them will be fascinating all by itself. 

I mean, it sounds like literal Cas erasure to suggest Dean might randomly forget Cas but if they’re writing an episode around it? sign me the fuck up for the most Destiel thing to ever happen in an episode that does not initially seem to be about or contain Cas. 

(Although I suppose the whole needing a witch to fix it thing and then if Dean starts babbling about Cas in front of witches probably would lead on to the next episode… KIND of about Cas. Hm. Interesting. That thought might be the first thing that feels suggestive to me the line could definitely be from 12x11…)

See now I’m speculating and you’ve talked me into the episode where Dean forgets Cas and I want exactly what you don’t, and I also don’t think this episode will happen because speculation is a dangerous game and the best we can do is come up with random scenarios and wait to see what ACTUALLY happens instead of them :P

Somewhere

He hates driving in the city. Then again, he hates driving, period. However, he has to pick her up, and as he parallel-parks in front of her apartment building, he doesn’t even need to turn the engine off; she’s already out front, that Michael Kors bag he abhors slung over her nearly-bare shoulder, her other hand holding onto her little suitcase as though it’s a lifeline. The last time he saw that suitcase, he was hoisting it into the back of her car, his mind echoing don’t help her, don’t help her, don’t let her think you want this even though he knew that sitting back and watching her leave would only confirm for her that she was correct to do so. The suitcase is hard-sided, just barely too large to be considered a carry-on, and its wheels rotate 360-degrees so that she can just drag it alongside her whenever she travels. Chewing his lip, he misses the suitcase she had during their time working x-files; it’d been big and black and almost generic save for the little red bow she left on top, a telltale sign at luggage carousels. While she always found hers immediately, he would have to turn over multiple black bags in order to find his own, but the I told you so smile she held made it all worthwhile.

He steps out of the car, pops the boot so that he can hoist her suitcase on in; she opens the passenger’s-side door, gingerly sets her purse on the floor of the car, sits down there wordlessly. Because her hair is in a short braid, he knows she had it cut, tries to keep the grimace to himself as he remembers how wild and long it once was, how she kept hair elastics by the bed and in the pockets of all of his pants, how he would run his fingers through its messy waves on Sunday mornings and feel their lives start at her scalp and finish at her splitting ends. Outside, the city is hazy and hot, cars honking while exhaust fumes smother him, and as he pulls out of the parking space, he finds himself already stuck in traffic. It’ll be a long drive to the airport.

“The flight’s been delayed,” she says from the passenger’s seat, her voice stark and emotionless; he barely recognizes the tone as being hers.

“I didn’t know that,” he says as he takes a hard left turn, his cheap car cringing at their surroundings.

“It’ll be heading out at two instead.”

“Oh,” he says, then checks the time in the car. Ten-thirty. They’re early, really early, early enough that the traffic doesn’t matter.

“I’d like to stop somewhere.”

Before he can protest, can insist on just lunch or something equally objective and emotionless, she pulls out her phone - a new one in a new navy-colored case, the latest model of that Apple kind he can’t figure out - and brings up a G.P.S. app, types in a location he can’t discern. Arlington, he figures, or maybe her mother’s house, or the Atlantic Ocean, just driving directly into it in a Thelma and Louise kind of way.

“Turn right,” she says, so he listens.

Keep reading…

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So, I’ve realized, that I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, so a bit of you guys haven’t seen me.

So, hello! I’m Sydney/Helmet-Girl-Origins, I’m 15, turning 16 in a little more than 2 weeks, and I play Clarinet (as my main), along with Alto Sax, and a tinnyyyy bit of oboe.

B and Lissel
(Thank you for letting me draw you both ^^)

B belongs to @bun-bunmuse