no one is going to take them seriously

What we really need is an adaptation of the original 1740 The Beauty and the Beast

So were you aware that the The Beauty and the Beast story we all know is a heavily abridged and rewritten version of a much longer novella by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?  And that a lot of the plot holes existing in the current versions exist because the 1756 rewrite cut out the second half of the novella, which consisted entirely of the elaborate backstory that explains all the weird shit that happened before?  And that the elaborate backstory is presented in a way that’s kind of boring because the novel had only just been invented in 1740 and no one knew how they worked yet, but contains a bazillion awesome ideas that beg for a modern retelling?  And that you are probably not aware that the modern world needs this story like air but the modern world absolutely needs this story like air?  Allow me to explain:

The totally awesome elaborate backstory that explains Beauty and the Beast

  • Once upon a time there was a king, a queen, and their only son
  • But while the prince was still in his infancy, in a neat reversal of how these fairy tales usually go, the king tragically died, leaving his wife to act as Regent until their son reaches maturity
  • Unfortunately, the rulers of all the lands surrounding them go, “Hmm, the kingdom is ruled by a woman now, it must be weak, time for an invasion!”
  • And the Queen goes, “Well, if I let some general fight all these battles for me, he’ll totally amass enough fame and power to make a bid for the throne; if I want to protect my son’s crown, I have no choice but to take up arms and lead the troops myself!
  • (Btw, I want to stress that this woman is not Eowyn or Boudica and nothing in the way her story is presented suggests that she had any interest martial exploits before or in any way came to enjoy them during these battles.  This is a perfectly ordinary court lady who would much rather be embroidering altar covers for the royal chapel and playing with her child until necessity made her go, “Oh no, this sucks, I guess I have to become a Warrior Queen now” and she just happened to kick ass at it anyway.)
  • And the Queen totally kicked ass, but the whole “twice as good for half the credit” thing meant that no matter how many battles she won, potential enemies refused to take her and her army seriously until she had defeated them so no sooner would she fend off one invasion than another one would pop up on a different border.
  • So she spent the majority of her young son’s life away from the castle leading armies, but it was OK because she left him in the care of her two best friends, who just happen to be fairies!  This was an awesome idea because a) fairies have magic, and therefore are like the best people to protect the prince from any threats and b) fairies consider themselves to be so above humanity that the lowest fairy outranks the highest mortal, so they’d have no interest in taking a human throne.  Good thing they were both good fairies instead of one good and one evil one!
  • (Spoiler:  they were not both good fairies.)
  • So the two fairies basically take turns raising the prince until he’s old enough to rule.  And on the eve of his twenty-first birthday, the evil older one comes into the prince’s bedroom.
  • “So listen, kid.  You’re about to become king, your mother’s on her way home from the war to see you crowned, and I have a third piece of good news for you!  You see, I’ve actually been spending so much time here lately because Fairyland’s become a bit too hot to hold me for reasons totally not related to me being secretly evil.  And if I have to hang in the human world, I might as well reside in the upper echelons of it, so even though as a powerful fairy I completely eclipse your puny human status in a staggeringly unimaginable way, since you’re about to be king and since my premonition that I should stick this whole guardianship thing out because you would be hot one day has totally proved accurate (go me), I will graciously lower myself to allowing you to marry me.  Please feel free to grovel at my feet in gratitude.  (Btw, we can totally start the wedding night now, we’ll tell your mother about it when she arrives tomorrow.)”

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Okay so @soltserra had the best idea to combine all my favorite things (Glowing tattoos, constellations, and Allura) into one amazing AU so naturally I had to do some fanart (with permission) of it!! Seriously you should go and follow them right now

You can never go wrong with space and glitter, as I always say

Speedpaint / Redbubble

Moon thru the signs 🌙
  • Aries: emotionally comfortable in the thick of firey adventure, extremely uncomfortable with stagnation in life, things always need to be exciting, they are on the go go go towards new life, will shake things up even if that means they have to ruffle some feathers, they can't sit still with the concept of boring.. Feeling bored is something they have no patience for. The sense of Self is a strong component to their emotional balance.. "What do I need right now? Will this feel right for me? Is this what I want to do?" Aries is all about personal will. They need to feel like they are expressing that will in ways that ignite their passion. Being forced into exerting energy towards something they don't care about is a deep root of distress. Emotionally quick tempered, their emotions are always evolving and morphing into something new..their emotions hit them like fireballs that encompass their entire being.. In the heat of their emotions that moment is the biggest and most intense moment ever ever ever !!! ...for a few minutes.. Then they're onto something new. When your Aries Moon is flying around on fire in the heat of their emotions, sit with them and LISTEN to the experience they are having. A deep therapy for the Moon here is to be able to express their emotions to you within their personal "I" experience. They matter a lot to themselves. Hold space for this.
  • Taurus: slowww and calmmm, Apple pie and lemon balm... I've seen this placement be wonderful and disastrous.. These people are comfortable in their home, in sensual pleasures, earthly delights. In a lower context they are way too attached to the material world, they will acquire so much random stuff that they don't know what to do with themselves but they feel like they need all the stuff.. If they ever got to a moment where they needed something completely random and they didn't HAVE that random thing.. Well that would be distressing for them. While their dependence on the material world can hold them back at times, it is absolutely admirable just how deeply in touch with it they are. They take the home very seriously, they are ones who will just stay home and be grounded instead of going out and running around in life.. Like a happy bear in its cave.. Within that cave there they are listening to awesome beautiful music, making great food, working with herbs, stacking wood, loving their good company.. Why would they ever want to leave that ?? Because there's a whole world out there moon in Taurus.. A whole world:)their emotions hit them on a bodily earthly level where they process and move through the emotional realm with the help of the natural world.. A moon in Taurus needs to be connected with nature more than any other moon.. They are the grounded ass f**kers.. They are emotionally comfortable BEING grounded.. So on the flip side when they can't find grounding or comfort in their material home they are in a state of perpetual chaos..
  • Gemini: emotionally comfortable anywhere and everywhere!! As long as they're having fun and being stimulated by interesting things it's all good! Moon in gemini's really can and will talk to any sort of person. They are comfortable in any situation they are in. Moon in gemini's often have to learn how to find a home within themselves, they could be all dirty playing music on the side of the street with a nice hobo, or they could be in a rich million dollar apartment around a ton of people they don't know.. Where ever they are, they are super curious and interested in everything happening.. Happy to be there..Needing that stimulation from all things interesting.. They are very socially adaptable folk.. They know how to dissect conversation and meet people where they are at.. Which often entails them wearing a mask and not being their truest self.. Being who someone wants you to be in a situation.. It can be distressing at times once they realize how much energy they put into connecting with ones on a shallow level, it takes a lot out of them, they have to bring it back and realize.. Yes this is all fun and good but they ones who will feed my soul are the ones who KNOW my soul.. As for emotions.. It's mutable so the experience of emotions is very impacted from the rest of the chart but this conscious moon energy really rationalized and intelecualitzes emotions.. Sometimes they box their emotions up for a rainy day.. They need to learn how to let themselves feel emotions, they have emotions but they are literally capable of making themselves not feel them.. A way a moon in Gemini would relax and calm down would be through researching, chatting, and thinking about thing.. Here the moon lives within the mind. (My placement)
  • Cancer: to put it simply, uncontrollable emotional state. This is a beautiful thing.. Moon in cancers have an emotional inner world that renders a fine work of art.. So many colors. What they experience in the waters of human emotion is special and unique because the moons archetype is fully at home here.. The moon is felt deeply in this person.. There's so much beauty.. But the conflict here is that the cancer moon doesn't have control of their emotional state, so it can be really difficult to do things because their FEELINGS are first priority.. They are likely to feel more comfortable within the comfort of soft lights, warm tea, nice fireplace, and loving company. However this is fully dependent on the rest of their chart. Water signs are fluid. Maybe they are more emotionally comfortable partying and having adventure because of a Mars in Aries and a sun in Saggitarius.. no matter what influences their emotional world goes so deep. They care. They want to nurture. They FEEEEEEEL. The moon is integral for these people, its important for them to connect with the moon through ritual or meditation.. This will help balance their emotions.. Even if they don't understand it on a conscious level, creating a personal relationship with the moon will subconsciously help them with emotional balance. A moon in Cancer wants to make you feel safe. They want to take care of you and your emotions. They will give so much... Sometimes too much.
  • Leo: these ones feel comfortable in the spotlight, whether that is within an intimate relationship, their family, their social sphere, or literally on a stage.. their comfort state lies within broadcasting their life for all to see. They have a need to share everything.. they want to share themselves, share their experience, their relationships, even the clothing on their back. This moon energy is so warm and generous. In return, these ones need a lot of admiration, attention, and affection in their relationships, they need to feel validated through being so expressive or insecurity will arise. Moreso than other Leo placements, the Moon here truly needs that attention from others, their emotional state depends on it. They draw life energy through being among different influxes of energy and shining their bright creative light within it. As for emotions, they are dramatic, hopeless romantic sonnets of internal poetry for the ones they love, dramatic boisterous crying when a sharp chord is struck, or totally uncontrollable angry fire rage when provoked. A series of extremes. They must channel their emotions into creative expression, they must have people who can give them the attentiveness they need in their bouts of emotion. Pushing them away will hurt them. They want to be close to you, themselves, their life.. they don't want to feel separate and distant. You'll find your moon in Leo being the life of the party, the friend in the group who brings all of the creative fun, their light is strong.. Its their emotional state. This placement has its challenges but I find it so beautiful.
  • Virgo: A strong need for everything to be in order, for life to be in order in all of its finer details. Whether the moon in Virgo reaches that or not reveals their level of emotional balance. They are going through life on the outside looking in. Anylizing, discerning, critiquing, this will either be deeply channeled inward, outward, or both. If you meet a Virgo Moon who does have their life in order, looks put together, has a clean organized place to live, is actively working and integrating into the structure of the world.. They are probably emotionally balanced.. And their emotions express themselves as a steady stream of relaxation due to a success of implementing order in chaos. So on the flip side.. If you meet a Virgo Moon who, to put it simply, does not have their shit together.. They are likely extremely ungrounded with their emotions scattered everywhere and nowhere living in the mercury depth of their overactive mind. They process their emotions by THINKING, they need to understand everything about what it is they are feeling and why before they can ever reach a state of peace in that feeling. Overthinking, irrational worrying, vicious self criticism are shadow elements to this placement. This is a very challenging place for the Moon. The moon is the fluid intuitive waters of emotion and Virgo is the Mercury virginal energy of mental structure and organization fine tuning life to be perfect. They don't exactly mesh well together in their natural archetypes. However, if an individual has a well aspected Virgo moon or learns how to make good use of this placement.. its an extremely competent energy. Their life will be ordered and structured to the 9's.. No worry will ever need to surface about anything because they have their shit together in the most perfect way. And in that state they experience ultimate relaxation.
  • Libra: to feel emotionally comfortable these people need a balance. They need to feel like there is a balance in their workplace, relationships, home life, and within themselves. They need to feel like there is an equal contribution on the part of everyone involved in every aspect of life, that everyone is contributing equally to establishing a balance. If it's imbalanced there is distress.. A distress that either causes emotional turmoil or a distress that motivates them to mediate the energy of the imbalanced situation. They have a very calm and .. Well.. Balanced approach to their emotions. It hits them in an intellectual way where they really observe everything they are feeling and transmute it into a steady stream of balance. They could repress emotions because of this. If emotions are going upppp and doowwwwnn they are gonna try and pull it to the center and push it forward. A continuous evolution of feeling. This steady stream causes them to have challenge with experiencing intensity of emotion.. To experience the full spectrum of emotion.. They don't want their emotions to hold them back or bring them out of alignment in any way. Hence, the repression.. And repressing anything leads it to bubble up and explode... That's where the intensity comes in.. When the bottled up and down emotions are forced up to the surface they HAVE to face it and deal with it or else they feel unable to move forward. Another component to this placement is that they Deffinetly feel emotionally comfortable and fulfilled with Venusian things.. They are gonna really value art, atheistic beauty, the beauty of ones soul, physical features, and emotions.. Because it fills THEIR emotion to experience such pleasure. The pleasureful side of life integrates with them on a deep level. They are likely to be pretty romantic in relationships, they completely romanticize and paint their love emotions like a beautiful painting of exquisite design.. Whether the reality of the love experience lives up to that is either their emotional challenge or their emotional exaltation.
  • Scorpio: INTENSE EMOTIONAL WORLD. Uncontrollable deep waters of emotion like moon in cancer.. Accept in a life or death kind of way. Emotions go to the core of ones soul. "I LOVE you." "I HATE you" "You have BETRAYED me" "I NEED you" Nothing is shallow or superficial in their emotional world..they are literally incapable of that. These people will love you to death, litterally. There is a likely hood for possessiveness with this placement. A likelyhood for nothing to be taken lightly. I remember I was babysitting a moon in Scorpio girl one time and she dropped a bunch of cards or something and they were scattering everywhere inbetween the couch cushions. I watched this girl get so distressed, heavy breathing, intense look on her face, super not at ease as she was trying to collect everything that just fell apart. My Virgo self completely cleaned up and organized the cards for her. She was passionately thankful that turmoil was taken care of for her. These people are very perceptive.. They have a really acute sense of awareness in their surroundings.. The psychic eyes.. They pick up on the subtleties around them.. They are empathetic to the energies in their life. There is a strong possibility for metaphysical psychic ability with this placement of they are exalting their energy. A moon in Scorpio on the light side will have a deep power and capacity to have such an amazing passionate colorful emotional world. A less evolved moon here will be experiencing such intense emotions they can't help but burn bridges with people. Their emotional needs and requirements are strong. With this placement they are also likely to keep their emotions very secretive from the world. They don't think anyone needs to know what they are feeling. This can cause deception and being super guarded in themselves. On the flip side, there is a powerful opportunity for transformational beauty when they do open up their inner world to someone. I'd say overall moon in Scorpio is awesome but it's extremely challenging. Like the moon in any water signs- emotions come FIRST.
  • Sagittarius: ahh the endless explorers of life. These individuals need a sense of expansion in their life to feel emotionally fulfilled. They need hope, inspiration, purpose, a promise of adventure.. Of growth.. Of a new horizon. They are comfortable in the action of expansion, whether that is going to a new place, learning something, or integrating into new relationships. It's hard to emotionally pin them down. They are on the move in their fluid state. In a relationship they need some who can hold space and swim with their currents because of they are in a flux state of perpetual evolution in regards to their emotional world. Like moon in Gemini or Aries.. They are so forward directed with going towards some new energy with their emotions.. They can be flakey. With these folk there can be room for emotional shallowness. Not always, but Saggitarus is the one who wants to have fun! They are the lighthearted archers prancing through all of the parties and people and foreign lands. It is a potential challenge for them to get caught up in some dense, heavy, stagnant emotional turmoil. They don't want to experience turmoil, they want to be having a good time! However, this is a fire sign.. The heat of their emotions DOES hit them. It's not like moon in libra where intense emotions come in and immediately get brought to a neutral line of balance. No, the intensity of emotion IS there. It's a matter of them taking the time to let them go deep into uncomfortable emotions. They would rather not be concerned with uncomfortable emotional depth at all if they didn't have to. But they have to deal with it or they will totally explode into a fire ball of saggitarius aggression. Give your little moon in Saggi some space in the heat of emotional turmoil and know that with a gentle touch and soft heart they will come to a place of opening up their emotional world with you.
  • Capricorn: Emotions here are very guarded. This is a hard placement for the waters of the moon. One may even fear their emotions with this placement, they may be mechanical and cold in this sense. Their emotions will not be tolerated if it's holding them back in anyway. Their emotional comfort lies in knowing they are competently moving forward into success with their life. The feeling of having their shit together is key for emotional balance. A moon in Cap won't want to be held back due to their emotional world. This is powerfully beneficial because they can really get shit done without having to deal with any of that cancer moon emotional stuff. However unless there is water in other places in their chart.. It leaves them in a place of emotional lack. They just aren't capable of feeling to the extent that others do because they don't let themselves. And that can be a conflict in itself because maybe it would give them a deeper feeling of competence if they COULD feel how others do. They really need to feel safe and secure and sturdy before they open up their inner world to someone. You have to win their trust to get to break that shell. This placement has a lot of good potential but also an immense possibility for challenge. With any moon, especially this one, that is all correspondent to the other aspects in a chart.
  • Aquarius: Emotionally comfortable in the realms of individualism.. they like their own kind of music, their own style, their own unique "fit" into the world.. They are emotionally satisfied in their inner world of "ME". Not "me" in the bright beaming self-centered way of Leo, no, its in the sense of "I am standing here feeling so different than all of you people" Whether they find solace or distress in that.. its a deep archetype that they feel. These people are living on the outside looking in- they are extremely extremely observant. They often they feel separate and detached out in the world, observing, putting all of the pieces together like mechanical machinery. They are very interested in life, in you, in your thoughts, in why things the way they are. They are taking it all in. With their emotions they need a lot of space to process it. They can really distance themselves from their emotions and the people who are making them feel emotions. Emotions are a lot for them to intellectually grasp, they want to grasp and come to an understanding of every facet of it, and they need time on their own to do this. Theres also room with this placement for close mindedness towards other ways of doing things. There is a likely hood for these people to feel they are doing and handling things they absolute best way possible, better than anyone else, they know how to handle their emotions, their life, their inner world. Its possible for arrogance and ignorance to be found here. Maybe they do really know how to handle their inner world better than how you think they can..... But also maybe... They really could use a word of advice. Theres a rigidness to this moon placement. These people find self-justified satisfaction in doing things exactly the way they think they should do it, it eases their emotional realm. There is room for complacency in arrogance here as their is room for extremely positive inner innovation and evolution of self.
  • Pisces: Your inner world is the ocean. Where does it begin? Where does it end? You don't know, actually, no one knows. Your emotions are the definition of fluid. Interchangeable and uncontrollable. You are melting into your emotions. When you fall in love, you FALL in LOVE. When you feel sorrow, you FEEL sorrrrrrowww. Emotions are so real for you. You feel your emotions in your blood. Your emotional world is operating in the dreamstate. You are comfortable in ethereal experiences, the surreal beauty of nature, the most amazing poem recited at a word slam, looking deep into the eyes of your lover. Life just holds a more surreal note for you. When you feel emotionally comfortable, every single particle of who you are integrates into a peace and calm of giving everything to the moment of emotional comfort. When you feel emotionally uncomfortable, red sirens are going off in your being, everything is viciously not okay. You might have issues with boundaries, you let people in so deep into your emotional realm and you share so much. Yet, when you draw a boundary, you aggressively instate it into being. You want what you want, you may disregard what is good for you, or you may draw every boundary in the book to make sure whats happening is good for you. No matter what situation you're in- good or bad, you're in it for the feeling, for the essence, the energy. Moon in Pisces will bring you into a different world.

i hope we get dumber hate symbols of the alt right soon. ideally i’d like manny from diary of a wimpy kid to be one but any of the muppets would be fine too. the perfect scenario would be that the alt right hate symbols become so varied and weird that only crazy people end up taking them seriously and richard spencer will only go outside dressed as a green bean and tumblr user bpdkelthuzad will be yelling at people who uncritically reblog pictures of chef boyardee

anonymous asked:

tell me about leverage. make me want to, please

alright buckle up motherfuckers, i’m about to school y’all about this wonderful show called Leverage.

let’s start with the premise: they’re a bunch of criminals who come together to work as a team and to “pick up where the law leaves off.” aka: they do illegal shit to legally take out the bad guys, i.e. framing/ruining the reputation of/revealing actual law-breaking by embezzling rich politicians, dirty cops, corporations doing secret shit on the down-low, etc.

each episode is a different bad guy they need to take down for doing something terrible, and each episode they come up with a different scheme to take them out. the team consists of: the hacker, the hitter, the grifter, the thief, and the mastermind behind all their plots. they’re all thieves at one point or another, they all grift, and they all contribute to the plan, but these are their Roles. i’ll go more in-depth on the characters in a sec.

now, i know what you’re thinking already: “wow bruh this show must be edgy af, being about actual criminals doing super illegal shit???” bUT NO. THIS SHOW COULD HAVE BEEN SO DARK BASED ON THE CONCEPT, BUT IT’S LITERALLY THE NICEST, MOST ENJOYABLE SHOW EVER.

it’s also SERIOUSLY unproblematic????? like to unrealistic levels. like Nate’s alcoholism is treated with respect and not just something he “gets over,” but despite his issues, he’s held accountable for when he’s a dick, Parker is pretty clearly neurodivergent and she’s never!! forced to be anything else!!!! anyway i could go on and on.

so let’s meet the gang.

this is Nate Ford:

Originally posted by exactingleverage

he’s the mastermind, he’s brilliant and the genius behind each of their convoluted plans. he’s a jerk sometimes, and grouchy, but he’s got good reason, and he NEVER crosses over into “angsty white man justifies his assholery because of his Issues.” he used to work for an insurance company tracking down criminals and thieves before A Thing happened and he became the Dad of a group of them. he makes bad life choices, so i relate. also his son died and he has a rad ex-wife and he struggles with alcoholism. we love him.

this is Sophie Devereaux:

Originally posted by itsadevereauxthing

she’s the grifter. she’s a great actress but only when she’s breaking the law it’s a running gag. she’s terrible on an actual stage l m a o. she’s the Mom of the group, and she and Nate are lowkey flirting the entire show. she tells it like it is, but is v compassionate. sassy af. british af. would probably console you about your husband leaving you before stealing your rare artifacts. high-class which shows in the fact that she was primarily an art thief before joining the team. i wouldn’t trust her with my jewelry, but i’d tell her all my secrets, and tbh that’s the best summary of her character that you’ll get.

this is Eliot Spencer:

Originally posted by thewanderingace

hooooooooooo boy. where do i begin to describe Eliot Spencer? wel, for starters, he’s the “hitter” of the group aka he beats people up when they can’t sneak their way in or out of a place. or when things go wrong. he’s super fucking badass oh my god??? like i’m pretty sure there’s maybe only one or two times in the ENTIRE. SHOW. that he can’t win a fight?? he also has a Super Secret Dark Past bc he used to be a hitman for hire, which he regrets deeply and is happy to have changed bUT AGAIN!! IT’S NOT A WHITE MALE ANGST THING. he isn’t obsessed with attoning for his actions and his scenes aren’t eaten up with Angst and Melodrama. he also has anger issues, but again, it’s not the same stereotype that you’re used to. he controls it, and he never takes it on on anybody who doesn’t deserve it (aka the bad guys). he gets around with women but he’s not sexist?? he cares about his partners.

also he’s a hardcore chef and will Fite You about food. anyway Eliot is basically the Broody White Man With Dark Past trope turned on it’s head. he’s lovable and sarcastic and could kill a man but would prefer to make you an Omelette Du Fromage or some shit.

this is Alec Hardison, aka My Son:

Originally posted by insertusernameici

this is my baby. he’s a nerd and a geek and I Would Die For Him. he’s basically everything that’s good and pure in the world. the epitome of a cinnamon roll. he’s sweet and gentle and wouldn’t hurt a fly–unless that fly is a corrupt ceo personally doing dirty business, in which case that motherfucker is going down with the help of his epic hacking skills. btw did i mention he’s the hacker? yeah. he’s super fucking smart and his sense of humor could rival the sahara desert in dryness. he always makes star trek references and he has a gr8 fashion style and he irritates Eliot to no end, lmao. #platoniclifepartners, tbh. did i mention he’s the sweetest person ever? no? he is.

this is Parker:

Originally posted by dj-jenn-b

she’s the thief, and predictably, she loves money and expensive things. tbh she’d probably stab you faster than anybody else on the team would (and has) but also she is smol and needs to be protected. she’s a killer rabbit. she’s an oddball and in the beginning, most of the others don’t know what to make of her, but they grow used to her. she’s nd af, probably autistic, and Does Not Understand Socialization. same, Parker, same. guess what? she’s never forced into acting like somebody she’s not!! when she has to be the grifter for the con job and interact with people, she’s patiently coached by Sophie, who never belittles or mocks her, and explains it in ways she can understand. she’s weird and i love her.

did i mention how unproblematic this show is? i did? well too fucking bad because i’m gonna say it again: this show is so unproblematic. like what i already said with Nate’s addiction and Parker’s neurodivergence, but wAIT! THERE’S MORE

Eliot hates guns–detests them–and won’t use them, he’s like constantly grabbing the mooks’ guns and unloading them and tossing them somewhere and it’s basically a huge trigger for him. and it’s always respected. also there’s scenes where like in the middle of a job Parker has to change into a costume and neither of men who are attracted to her–Eliot and Hardison–sneak a peak at her. they both look away during that shit and there is like, never any gross sexist jokes about it. or other things. i love it. also any romantic relationship that develops takes season of growth and shit. there’s nothing particularly Gay, but while heterosexual, it’s not Het.

the recurring antagonist is played by Mark Sheppard, a character called Sterling, who is basically a lawful good Crowley.

also one time they stole an entire country. 

Leverage is fucking rad, and the concept is amazing and it coulda been so edgy and shit, but it’s literally so pure and sweet and friggin hilarious and about a bunch of people becoming a family and you need to watch it, my friend. now.

like immediately go google a page to watch it i’m not fucking kidding do it.

Everyday Bread

This is a perfect example of an easy bread that can be made every day. I mean, sure, it would be just as easy (if not easier) to use a sourdough starter, or to bake a large batch for several days in a row*, but if you are a fan of fresh, chewy, crusty bread every dang day than this is the one you want to use. This is the recipe I use whenever I need (or want) fresh bread for dinner. It’s easy. Seriously, it can be done in less than an hour. Plus it’s one of the best breads I’ve ever made, so there’s that too :)

*When one is involved in all the menial tasks to survival that we take for granted, sometimes we forget just what goes into ‘survival’. Peoples of Middle Earth would naturally have to work very hard, since not everyone can go on adventures and have everything taken care of for them. I like this little saying, even if it’s just household chores (leaving out planting, weeding, butchering, harvesting, thrashing, preserving, spinning, weaving, knitting, chopping firewood, etc.) I suppose I’m guilty of romanticizing the ‘olden lifestyle’; it sure sounds fun but if it came down to it I’ll stay in the 21st century, thank you very much.
“Wash on Monday
Iron on Tuesday
Mend on Wednesday
Churn on Thursday
Clean on Friday
Bake on Saturday
Rest on Sunday.”

Everyday Bread (printable)
makes two loaves

Ingredients
2 ½ cups (595 mL) warm water
2 tablespoons yeast
2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon salt
5 ½ cups (660 g) flour
1 tablespoon olive oil

Directions

In a large bowl, mix warm water and yeast until yeast has dissolved.  Next add sugar, salt and flour. Knead ingredients together till it’s a soft uniform dough.

Now place a thin towel over the bowl with the dough in it and let it rise in a warm place for 15-30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 450° (232° C). Separate dough into two, and begin shaping dough into long loaves, and place on a baking sheet.

Make slits with a knife and brush with olive oil. If you are garnishing with herbs or cheese, do so now.

Cover the dough with the towel once more and let rise 5 minutes or so (the longer the better).

Remove towel, and bake for 12-15 minutes or until tops are brown and crusty.

Recipes adapted from Urban Strawberries

White Lace | [S]

Originally posted by purelyjimin

MusclePig™ [12:27] : Are you free yet?

The obnoxious vibrations of your phone distract you from the splatter of paint that had you preoccupied for the past couple of hours.

You picked up your phone from your table, the light from it seemingly unpleasant as you typed in a quick response.

You [12:30] : Do you really want to go out that bad?

MusclePig™ [12:30]: I haven’t seen you in a week, my heart and dick are throbbing for you.

You threw your phone down on to your bed beside the hardwood table that you were seated on, silently laughing to yourself as you read his last message.

That’s definitely something Jungkook would say. Over the past couple of months you had gotten to know him better, the both of you often bonding over anime or stupid memes; sometimes just listening to each other as he babbled on about a new plot he had thought of.

You’d been avoiding going out with him over the past week, trying to focus on classes and the projects at hand. But Jungkook wouldn’t let you stay in this hermit hole that you had created for yourself.

MusclePig™ [12:31]: Pleasee~

You [12:33]: Pick me up in an hour.

Keep reading

Taylor Mason

I am really excited about Taylor Mason’s appearance in Showtime’s Billions.

Here’s Showtime’s behind the scenes introduction of Taylor on YouTube, with interview snippets with the actor and the writers.

I don’t know the show at all. It is definitely not my usual genre. No one does any science or magic, you know? It’s a fast-paced businessy financey drama thing. I don’t even remember how I found out, but when I heard that Billions claimed to have the first ever nonbinary character on TV… well, to be honest, I kinda did a skeptical face. The articles are all very US-centric, and explicitly nonbinary characters are not uncommon in some parts of the world. And anyway, “nonbinary character” usually means “gender non-conforming binary character” because that’s usually the best we can hope for. But yeah, I was interested, so I looked into it.

Here’s my TL;DR: Billions is the first mainstream US TV show to my knowledge that contains a character overtly described as nonbinary and whose they/them pronouns are stated in the show and affirmed by almost all of the other characters.

We’re introduced to Taylor, played by Asia Kate Dillon (also nonbinary, they/them pronouns), in the first episode of season 2 - toying with another character about being vegan. They’re a sharp, brilliant, think-outside-the-box intern.

In episode 2 it gets a bit more in-your-face:

That guy in the second shot, Bobby Axelrod, is the very rich, very arrogant boss of macho boy’s club Axe Capital. And he just accepts Taylor’s assertion of their pronouns, no questions asked, no raised eyebrows. Just, “okay.”

Taylor proceeds to seriously impress the very rich arrogant boss guy in the chair.

Taylor isn’t going through some coming out plot, working out their gender and discovering themself. Taylor is out and comfortable and confident in their identity. People who refuse to accept them get bulldozed, either by other characters or by the plot itself.

Later in that episode there’s a scene in which Taylor isn’t present, and Taylor is misgendered by that bald guy, Bill:

It’s hard to capture the tone in this scene. It’s an alpha male showdown, over a nonbinary person’s pronouns. The arrogant guy who misgenders Taylor gets corrected, and then has two guys above him in the pecking order stare him down until he concedes, in body language and facial expression. Taylor’s rich white old guy boss is not gonna tolerate you misgendering them. (Over the next few episodes it becomes clear that Taylor is replacing Bill as Axelrod’s “favourite.”)

Bobby Axelrod upholds the pronouns of every singular-they nonbinary person in this one scene, to everyone watching the show. After that the conversation continues as before. It all happens very naturally as part of a conversational plot to take down a business rival, like it’s important and yet no big deal at all to correct a colleague’s pronouns.

There are people watching this who are nonbinary and going “wow, that’s me.” There are nonbinary people who haven’t worked themselves out watching this and going “wow, maybe that’s me?” There are parents of nonbinary kids watching this and going, “wow, maybe using new pronouns isn’t so hard? Maybe my child is not just going through a phase?” There are nonbinary kids watching this with their parents, thinking “maybe now my parents see Taylor being taken seriously they will take me more seriously.”

This is incredible.

Naturally, I have concerns. I’ve got them on the back-burner because one TV show is not a pattern among TV shows. It does, however, fit a known trend of nonbinary visibility.

Taylor is white, AFAB, thin, young, wealthy, able-bodied, and masculine-presenting. They fit the nonbinary cliché so well that I can’t even find any deviation from it. In reality nonbinary people are very diverse in pronouns, gendered presentation, race, body type, and class. But when newspapers are interviewing these “new” and fascinating nonbinary people, they always seem to choose people mostly like me: white, thin, AFAB, young, apparently able-bodied, androgynous-to-masculine-presenting. (I’ve been interviewed by journalists for articles about nonbinary people that then didn’t even include me in the final piece, because I refused to be seen as a representative of nonbinary people in some way.)

Taylor is also autistic. I don’t know if it’s deliberate, goodness knows writers create accidentally autistic characters all the time, but if you know what to look for in TV-autism it’s really really clear. And people really like to draw attention to the way autism and gender non-conformity overlap, to the extent that articles have been written by and focusing on doctors who believe that some gender non-conformity is directly caused by autism and should not be treated. (Article link. Warning: Daily Mail, general awfulness, etc.)

So going forward, I’m hoping that if and when there are more nonbinary people in TV shows we get to see some femininity, some differing body types, some people of colour, etc. I’m also hoping that we get to see some nonbinary people who are not obviously autistic - characters who express emotion freely and are not somehow brilliantly sharp and intelligent and innovative in one particular area of interest, for example.

But for now, I am thrilled. A TV show is portraying someone like me. In this case I’m lucky because I fit that autistic nonbinary cliché down to the ground, and I am perfectly represented in a mainstream US TV show for the first time in my life. I want other nonbinary people to experience that too, and this is a huge step forward and a long-deserved validation of the nonbinary community. I am excited to see what happens next for nonbinary representation and visibility.

I felt like doing some worldbuilding, so here’s an Atlacatl couple with some of their small children! These two are monogamous, but polygamy is just as acceptable in their culture, and their people don’t really do marriage.

Lore:

Real-world axolotls lay hundreds of eggs at a time. The Atlacatl don’t go quite as hard, but one clutch of eggs can still number in the dozens. Of these, usually only half or so will hatch, but it still goes without saying that these people take family planning very seriously.

The new babies are small, completely aquatic, and precocial. Still, raising so many children is a big task, and it’s shared by the whole community. Everyone helps guide the children through important milestones, like teaching them to walk once their legs grow in.

With how quickly families can grow, just a handful of families can make up a whole village. Inter-village fairs and dances are held to help people meet new faces, since pairing up with one’s first cousins too often is considered kind of tacky.

i’m taking pre-orders for my spd/autism noise muffling beanies/headbands

YO I am so autistic and SO PUMPED that I came up with this product. earbuds and noise cancelling headphones are sensory hell for me, but I have finally figured out how to use only fabric to block out between 50% of sound. but if you order custom, I can adjust the amount of fabric to allow the amount of sound in you want.

the beanies and headbands are made of recycled sweaters!!!

i’ll start making them march 11th and i can have them shipped by march 12th seriously im hyperfocused

plain beanies are $15. plain headbands are $10. beanies with designs are $20. headbands with designs are $13. shipping is free because GREECE but it will also take about a month to get there because GREECE

you can pre-order a plain one, a space themed one, a plant themed one, or an animal themed one (my special interests lol)

OR you can custom order one in your special interest! i’m already making one for someone who really likes monsters and it’s going to have horns and lots of eyes so basically tell me what you’re interested in. custom beanies are $25 and custom headbands are $17. i can also change the fabric or add zippers or snaps or tassles or fringes. really just let your sensory desires run wild my buds

in conclusion i am SO FREAKING HAPPY. i see so many products for autistic people made by allistic people and it’s like??? no. i’m autistic and can’t hold down a job because of my anxiety disorder, so this is my only source of income. i’m also trying to save up money to buy a retired greyhound that is dying so i can give them a good home

etsy shop will be up tomorrow. PLEASE message me with what you want and i will mesage you because i’ll probably have made it in 1-3 days

please sign boost for autistic/spd people who shouldn’t have to deal with uncomfortable and unstylish ear protection!!!

How to Break In a New Tarot Deck

Originally posted by gif-007

Most decks have the same standard 78 cards, but every deck is still a little different! The art, the energy, each new one can take a little getting used to. So here are some ways to do it!

Deck Interview spreads. These are really popular, so let’s go ahead and get them out of the way. There are tons of spreads available online that answer questions like, “What is your energy?” “What are your strengths as a deck?” “What kind of questions do you have trouble with?” “What can I learn from using you?” You can also just make your own! But doing a practice reading and getting the deck to say a little about itself can be very handy.

Look at it. Seriously, give it a good hard look. Spend some time on every card, seeing how the art makes you feel and what small details may support or enhance the meaning. The art will take a more nuanced approach or interpretation of the card beyond the few general keywords. For example, does the “Death” card focus more on the ending, or the renewal? Does the end look bitter?

Carry it around. Put it in your bag when you head out. Take it with you on trips. Even if you don’t plan on using it, have it on hand… just in case. Share memories with it, bond with it. Get comfortable with the presence of it.

Use it! Naturally! Eventually, you’re going to have to use it to break it in. You can’t break in shoes if you never walk in them. While I’m still getting used to the nuances of a deck, I won’t use them for my big complicated spreads right away, but I might use them for little things until I feel like I can use it for ones that take more brain power. Even if you’re an experienced reader, it’s okay to not jump in head first with complicated stuff on a brand new set of cards. There’s no rush!

Monsta X as the Mafia + How He Met You

|||Thanks @goeffmercantile for the idea!! I hope you will enjoy this if you read it 😃|||


Shownu/Son Hyunwoo:

Originally posted by jonginsbias


  • The leader and founder of the gang.
  • Often not taken seriously in the industry because of his age but these people seem to disappear not long after they make those statements. 
  • He takes care of the whole business and every mission has to go through him first. 
  • While rarely going out on them himself he’s still a very good shot and an excellent hand to hand combatant.
  • His daily activities include scouting new members and making deals with the other gangs.

That’s how he met you. You were the daughter of one the leaders he came to make a deal with and immediately caught his attention. You had that aura of confidence and respect around you. When he saw you standing besides your father he stood up and said.

“I want to make the deal with her and see if she has what it takes.”

You accepted the challenge and the rest is history.


Wonho/Shin Hoseok:

Originally posted by kihqun

  • He would be the one to take care of gathering information. He actually has too many ways to do that. From sweet talking to torturing.
  • Looks really strong and confident and even come out as cocky on the outside but in reality is really soft, especially to people he cares about.
  • His soft side doesn’t interfere with his work though as once he has to get something he will do it with any means possible, no mercy.

He met you when the gang kidnapped you to gather info. After a few questions though it turns out they got the wrong person, the gang lets him decide what to do with you since he’s also the one who takes care of the bodies. He gives you 2 options. Either stay with him or die. He can’t let you go because you already saw all of their faces. So you decide to stay and as crazy as it may sound it was one of the best decision in your life.


Yoo Kihyun:

Originally posted by jooheonbebe

  • Right hand man of the boss and actually the most reliable member as the others (including the leader) tend to get in trouble a lot and he has to be the one to get them out.
  • Incredibly smart and cunning that’s why his specialty is scamming. Not only ordinary people fall for his charms but also the other gangs. That’s how he gets around town and was recruited in the first place.
  • Although not easily annoyed he does lose his patience sometimes and you better don’t even be near him when he does. 

He actually knew you from high school and promised not as much to you as to himself that one day he will definitely find you again and make you his. And so he did, a few years later, after making a title in the mafia world he waited for you outside your house. When you saw him, you couldn’t believe your eyes, it was him, he was alive.

“Sorry for making you wait this long.” he said with a smile but you didn’t care anymore as you jumped in his arms.


I.M/Lim Changkyun:

Originally posted by wonhobe

  • One of the top assassins in the gang.
  • When he and Jooheon get together expect no survivors.
  • He’s more skilled with guns and is actually quite proud of his collection.
  • Keep tracks of how many people he kills and tends to brag about the clean shots he made.
  • While not on a job, he looks pretty casual and you would never be able to tell that he is part of the mafia. Also kind awkward when he needs to talk about other topics besides guns and violence.

He met you in a coffee shop right outside his home. He used to spend his mornings there just thinking about ways to complete the mission when he also started noticing you. You also came there almost every morning (he was quite disappointed when you didn’t) and sat at the table by the window. He was mesmerized by you and after a few months finally decided to gather his courage and talk to you.


Chae Hyungwon:

Originally posted by jonginsbias

  • The first person you should come to if you need anything concerning weapons. 
  • Even though his job is to smuggle them to and out of the country to make more money for the gang, he also has a very extensive knowledge about them.
  • He can even advise you which weapon is the best one for certain kills.
  • Doesn’t like fighting himself and actually prefers not to have a weapon on him at all times.
  • But when push comes to shove he has an unexpectedly good accuracy and take cares of the things fast.

You came to buy some weapons from the store he had set up and that’s how he met you. To his surprise you knew everything about the stuff you wanted and couldn’t help but smirk as not often does he meet someone as knowledgeable in his field as you. When he got you the guns you wanted he just casually asked.

“Want to go try these bad boys out with me someday? I won’t be doing any shooting though but I can see you more than know how to use them.”


Lee Minhyuk:

Originally posted by wonhontology

  • Behind his cheerful exterior there is a fearless drug dealer.
  • He likes to keep it simple and be on good terms with his clients but everyone knows that you will be dead on the spot if you try anything suspicious. 
  • He’s so good with his words that he even made some connections with the higher ups in the city from police officers to judges.
  • Because of that and his skills, making drug deals has never been easier.
  • Other gangs often ask him for advice in exchange for money.
  • He gladly agrees but never tells them his secrets.

He met you at the start of his career when after a deal gone bad he was left all beaten up in an alley. You were coming home from your night shift when you noticed him. You immediately came up to him and asked if he was okay, even though he was barely conscious he just laughed and said that he thought you were an angel as he never saw anything prettier than you. You wanted to take him to a hospital but he begged you not to call anyone and so you dragged him to your apartment and nursed him back to health.


Lee Jooheon:

Originally posted by trainingpanda

  • The other one the most feared assassins in the gang.
  • Unlike Changkyun he specializes more in close range or hand to hand combat.
  • His favourite weapon of choice is knuckle duster knife. 
  • Tends to get to know and earn his victims trust before he kills them.
  • Starts acting all weird and does a lot of aegyo when drunk.
  • Is actually really friendly if you’re not his enemy that’s why he has a bunch of friends and companions outside the mafia industry.    
  • Likes making detailed plans of the missions and often helps Shownu and Kihyun with that.

You were actually going to be his next victim. He was hired to kill you by another gang for unknown reasons, not that he asked, he was only here to get the job done and then take the money. He didn’t expect you to be this cheerful and an excellent discussion partner though. This never happened before but he was starting to doubt if he should kill you. When you agreed to him taking you home and were pushed in the alley behind the club you didn’t even flinch or beg when he pressed the knife to your throat.

“Why are you not scared?” he asked.

“Why should I? I did a lot of awful things in my life, so maybe it’s my time to go.” you replied.

That’s when he knew for sure he couldn’t kill you. After he released you out of his grasp he asked.

“Which gang were you from?”

“Why don’t we get back in the club and I will tell you my story?”


A/N: I hope you enjoyed!! Anyhow, I would love to write more kpop reactions, scenarios and stuff like that. I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female, so if you have any ideas feel free to request!!  😃

klance / keith / lance headcanons because why not

•lance always wears socks to bed because his sister told him if he didnt, the foot goblin would come and eat his legs 

•keith doesnt wear socks at all, ever 

•keith kicks in his sleep

•he also constantly rubs his feet on lances legs when theyre cuddling cause his feet are cold 

 •keith has a Thing™ for lances forearms 

 •he doesnt know why 

 •lance makes sure when hes wearing a long sleeve to roll it up to his elbows 

 •when the watched the titanic together, they made a bet that who ever cried had to do the dishes 

 •they both lost 

 •keith cries very easily 

 •like REALLY easily 

 •he will cry everytime he sees one of those wholesome meme posts 

 •lance is that one kid in highschool thats the captain of the football team but is also a drama nerd 

 •keith really likes music and knows how to play piano, violin, and flute 

 •neither of them have a side of the bed but keith must be on the side farthest from a window 

 •keith used to (still is) be a warrior cats stan 

 •lance was the biggest pokemon fan in the whole damn country 

 •his whole room was pokemon themed

 •lance used to be afraid of shrek 

 •they go to a carnival together and lance tries to be suave and win keith a stuffed bear but he CANT GET THE DAMN BALL IN THE HOLE KEITH GIVE ME MORE MONEY 

 •keith had never been on a roller coaster so lance takes him to disney world and takes him on the scariest one first and it scars keith for the rest of the day 

 •keith hates oranges and he will fight people on the matter 

 •keith kills the spiders 

 •keith can break a leg and wont cry but once he got stung by a bee and locked himself in the bathroom crying and wouldnt let anyone touch him 

 •keith is so in love with lance sometimes he will just stare at the ceiling and think about him for HOURS 

 •lance love love loves disney movies 

 •keith can talk about conspiracies for hours and of course lance listens bc he loves his bf 

 •they are both 100% convinced justin bieber is a lizard person 

 •if keith is sitting on a carpet he will run his fingertips in circles on it until his fingers go numb and tingly 

 •lance is a morning person, lance is lucky if keith wakes up by noon 

 •keith gets really sad when lance makes self deprecating jokes 

 •"no baby dont say that youre so great and wonderful :,(((“ 

 •keith takes astrology posts seriously 

 •theyre constantly holding hands 

 •they are THAT couple you know the one 

 •pda? yes yes 

 •the only part about lance that isn’t perfect are his nails 

 •he will bite them down to a nub

so lance flirts a lot right but no one ever reciprocates so he’s just kinda used to throwing out pick up lines and doesn’t really expect anyone to take them seriously

so when keith actually starts to flirt back lance assumes that he’s just messing around

and this is why keith can be found hitting his head against the wall after his 5th attempt at hitting on lance only for lance to go “haha that was a good one keith!!”

Last Game Summary *MAJOR SPOILERS*

MAJOR SPOILERS! If you don’t want to be spoiled about Last Game just don’t read this. Also, for those who are gonna spazz and post about the summary PLEASE DON’T SPOIL FOR OTHERS WHO DON’T WISH TO BE SPOILED. (There are people trust me). If you are gonna post about Last Game please use the hashtag #last game spoilers so people can block it. Thank you.

The show I went to had the liveviewing for the seiyuu greetings as well so I’ll write a bit of that after this.

Now if you want to be spoiled, please continue!!

Keep reading

I’m GMing a campaign for a friend of mine and she’s playing solo. Her elf hunter character is exploring old ruins where and NPC has disappeared, possibly captured. Upon entering the ruin he comes across a group of bandits guarding the first room and manages the charisma roll to approach them without them attacking him on sight. He then starts talking how he’s just a tomb raider looking for easy money. Eventually he asks if he could join the bandits.The leader of the bandits isn’t exactly taking him seriously.

Me (Bandit leader): “You don’t just join my group in a whim. One, I’d need to have a reason to believe I won’t find a blade in between my shoulder blades the second I turn my back. Two, you’d need to have something going on between those pointy ears of yours, of which I’ve yet to see any proof. And three, you’d need to prove you’re actually worth something.”

Hunter: “Well, how do I prove it?”

To sum things up, the bandit leader is honestly getting bored with the assignment to guard the entrance and she thinks this might be a good way to pass the time. So while her band gathers to watch, she tells the hunter she would test his combat skills. They choose to fight without weapons and though the difference in their stats is HUGE (the bandit leader was effectively a mini boss), the hunter manages to land a hit or two. All the while the two characters are doing some snarky banter in the midst of attacks and the hunter rolls charisma every few turns to see if the bandit appreciates his humor. Finally, this happens:

Me: “OK, she sidesteps to dodge your attack and is now right behind you. She’s about to strike you in the back. What do you do?”

My friend: “…I smile as charmingly as I can and hopefully stop her attack for a second or two.”

At this point, I’m losing it and I tell her to roll for it. Charisma is the hunter’s leading stat, but it’s still a very tough roll, as I judge it wouldn’t be easy to stop a bandit boss mid-attack with a freaking smile. But son of a gun, the roll succeeds.

Me: *after taking a moment to calm down my hysterical laughter* “OK, OK… You turn to smile at her with your most charming smile and she freezes out of pure surprise, looking at you like you’ve completely lost your mind.”

My friend: “I know it’s a dick move, but can I roll to punch her now?”

Long story short, yes, her hunter lands a hit. After a few turns, the bandit leader tackles him, fairly amused by not only the fight but also by their banter. So she lets him sit by their fire, he tells the real reason he’s in the ruins and she lets him go on his way on the condition that once he finds the ones who captured the lost NPC, he won’t kill them. Because she still wants the other half of her promised pay. 

And that’s the story of how my friend’s character made friends with bandits. 

It’s Okay, I Hate Me Too. (Langst)

I posted this on AO3, but I decided to post it on here too because I love it so much ahah (also this is OOC)~

Being overlooked wasn’t a foreign feeling for Lance.

Back at the Garrison, he often heard a plethora of insults directed towards him, said by students and instructors alike. A lot of them from Iverson, the dude who oversaw the cadets. Man, he hated Iverson.

He happened to be strolling past a group of his peers. They were looking at him from the wall they were propped up against.

“Did you hear about that one guy Lance? He just failed his simulation test for the fifth time in a row.”

“Yeah, I did. The dude’s pathetic. How’d he even get accepted into the Garrison in the first place?”

“He only got into the fighter pilot class because Keith dropped out. I’m shocked Lance wasn’t the one to get dropped.”

“He can’t even handle the shit in the cargo pilot class. He’s pathetic.”

Lance just smiled. It’s okay, I hate me too.


“We’re going to have to visit the Worbla planet for some supply negotiations,”  Allura says, after shortly gathering all the paladins plus Coran for a meeting. “The Worblon are fairly nice aliens, so the negotiations should go fairly quickly. So be on your best behavior,” Her light tone disappears as her eyes land on Lance. The mood suddenly becomes more hostile. “Especially you, Lance. You stay in the back. I don’t want you messing this up.”

Lance lets out a nervous, breathy laugh. “Got it, princess.” Allura narrows her eyes even more. Great, she doesn’t trust me. I should’ve seen that coming, though.

The castle-ship lands on the planet. The Worblon gather around the paladins in awe, talking amongst themselves.

“Can you believe it?! It’s the paladins of Voltron!”

“Strong and mighty, strong and mighty.”

“Amazing!”

Allura gains a confident stature when the leader of the Worblon comes forward. They both go somewhere else to talk. Shiro and Keith have a private conversation. Pidge and Hunk had a ‘who can fit their fist into their mouth’ competition. Lance stood by himself until several aliens approached him.

“Excuse me,” The Worblon said, looking up at Lance. “Aren’t you the blue paladin of Voltron?”

Lance gave a soft smile. “Yeah, I am. I pilot one of the legs.” And I’m also the most overlooked member of Voltron…

“You’re not as uptight as the other members,” Another smiled. “I like that. You’re very lighthearted. I don’t think you get stressed in battle. The others are so serious, so scary. You’re, ah, cool.” Lance’s eyes lit up and he gave a genuine grin. This was the first compliment he’s ever received.

“Thank you.”

LANCE!” A voice screeched from behind him. He turned around and saw the fuming face of Allura stomping towards him. Her fists were balled up, and she had gritted teeth. The Worblon he talked to slowly backed away. Lance gulped. What did I do now?

“I specifically told you to stay in the back! What are you even doing?!” She yelled, and the other paladins looked at Lance. They all had the expression of “Jeez Lance, you already messed up?”.
“You’re messing things up again, aren’t you?!”

She turned towards the Worblon. “I apologize for whatever he did. He doesn’t seem to have any seriousness in his body.” The Worblon looked at her, confused.

“He didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, we were just complimenting him. You should be more like him, he’s very lighthearted compared to the serious faces of you guys.”

Allura just gave a forced smile and commanded all of the paladins to go back onto the castle-ship.


“Did you trick the Worblon or something?” Allura asked him later, during a meeting. “We all know the real you. You’re not the one to be complimented on.” Ouch.

“Yeah,” Pidge piped up. “You don’t take anything seriously. You don’t do well in battle either. What’s there to compliment?” The others laughed. Lance just bit his lip and exited the room. It’s okay, I hate me too.


Well, at least the Worblon were nice enough to compliment him.


Lance and the other paladins were currently in a battle with the Galra. Ships surrounded them.

“Pidge, use your invisibility cloak to get us close to the main ship. Keith and I will cover while you and Hunk shut down their ion cannons. Hopefully Pidge will get the information they need,” Shiro speaks from the com, but pauses. “Oh, and Lance, just don’t do anything stupid. We don’t need you goofing off and jeopardizing the mission.”

Lance sighed. “Got it.”

They all split up, each lion tackling their own problem. Lance just wandered around, carefully aiming the giant energy rifle on his lion to blast random Galra ships in his line of vision. He wanted to be careful, because if he fucked something up, then Shiro was going to scold and berate him while the other paladins looked at him with no pity.

Suddenly, the ion cannon blasted Blue, and she went spiraling off into space. Lance got dislodged from his seat and was hitting nearly every wall inside of Blue.

A weird-looking sheet of metal got lodged into Lance’s side. He screamed in pain, and he widened his eyes at the sight of the blood. Another piece of metal punctured Lance’s right eye. He saw a flash of blindingly bright light, and then darkness. He screamed his heart out, and then blacked.


When he woke up, he discovered that the inside of Blue looked like a crime scene. Blood was everywhere. He looked down at his armor to find out that it was damaged severely.

“You okay, Blue?” He rasped, and Blue responded with a purr. She was alright. “Good. ‘Cause I’m going to need you to fly us back to the castle-ship. She started moving.

He reached for his helmet and put it on, hoping to communicate with his teammates to signal that he strayed. Instead, he heard more slander.

“Lance screwed up again. “ Pidge.

“We clearly gave him instructions, how hard is it to follow them?” Keith.

“They were simple orders. I’m honestly kind of shocked.” Hunk.

“Don’t be. When he gets back, I’ll make sure to reprimand him for the trouble he’s caused.” Allura.

“I second that. He needs to learn to take things seriously. We’re saving the universe, this isn’t a board game.” Shiro.

Lance threw his helmet to the other side of the area. He felt tears coming out of his eyes, and he released a shaky breath. He tried his best to huddle into a ball. It’s okay, I hate me too.


Lance put Blue into her hangar and slowly limped into the halls of the castle. He was forced to perform an impromptu stitching on his side with a random first-aid kit he found because the wound was starting to become worse. His eye, however, was a different story. It was still bleeding, and the area around it was slightly swollen.

He heard the voices of his teammates coming from the meeting hall. Holding his side, he limped over to the door. He stopped when he heard the topic the teammates were talking about.

“Honestly, Lance is quite pathetic. He can’t hold off very well on his own, judging by his performance in this battle.”

“He didn’t get his beauty sleep,” A chorus of laughs echoed. “You know how terrible he gets without his beauty sleep. Or manicure, whatever.”

“He acts so much like a kid. How did his parents even deal with him? He’s in his late teens. I’m sure his family was glad when they heard the news of him moving out.”

“He’s a walking, talking disaster.”

Lance slowly opened the door and limped into the room. His teammates, Allura, and Coran gasped at the sight they saw. That was the first time he saw the look of sympathy directed towards him on their faces. He coughed, and blood splattered onto the floor. He gave a weak smile.

“It’s okay, I hate me too.”

can you believe sana and isak’s kids are 100% going to become friends. and when isak’s daughter and sana’s son become particularly interested in all things science, they each get them these giant books for kids who want to learn, books they share with each other whenever one of them pays the other a visit. and they prepare these safe experiments in the kitchen, and the kids get all excited, and sana and isak watch them complete the experiment by themselves, a smile on their faces because of how seriously they take the whole thing, and because of how much the kids’ dynamic reminds them of the one they have with their dear friend who’s been in their life for all those years now

anonymous asked:

OK this may sound odd but what fabric shops would you recommend in the LA area. I know you no longer live here but any advice helps, since joanns does have its limits in fabric options and in your experience is it any cheaper than Joanns or am I paying just as much?

The garmet district is what you want to do. 

Shopping in LA Fabric District

What you want to do is – HIT UP MICHAEL LEVINES FIRST BUT DONT BUY ANYTHING. Maybe pick up your pattern. Check out how much fabric you need according to the pattern, etc etc. Search the store for the fabric you need, even if you see a perfect match, leave it, don’t buy it. Trust meeeee. You’re basically making this your garaunteed last resort. I know it already seems a great deal compared to Joanns’ money grubbing prices, but trust me.

Head out to the streets and start walking up and down 9th. From Maple to San Pedro. CHECK EVERYWHERE. North shops usually have the best SPANDEX and stretch fabrics, lace and sequins. SOUTH shops usually have upholestry, leather and vinyl (there’s exceptions but this is what I noticed.) 

I garauntee you any stock of fabric at Levines is avaliable in all the surrounding stores and they will sell it way short for a bargain! 

PROTIP: Never say yes first. If you ask one of the workers in the off stores “How much is this a yard?” and they say “12,” even if thats an amazing price, still just nod and say “Thanks” and start walking away like you dont want it. They WILL ALWAYS go lower. They’ll start telling you “11! 10– 8 for you!” Especially if they know you want 2-3 yrds or more.  But don’t get intimidated either, they’ll try to corner you into saying yes. Just wave them off, tell them “Ill take a picture and come back? I just wanna compare.”  Seriously, even if you see the perfect one at one of these places for the best price, just wait until you hit all the stores. You have no idea how many times i bought something and regretted it 5 minutes later when I saw an even better version. 

Second Protip: When they ask you how many yard you want, always say 2-3. Even if you need seven. Because they’ll give it to you for cheaper if you only want that much. Then when you say, okay, ill buy it for 4 bucks a yard, as he’s measuring it out, then say “ACTUALLY can I get 5?” 

Here’s some of my favorites:

L.A. Alex has the CHEAPEST notions. Zippers, elastic, velcros, thread, muslin, etc. They are AWESOME for all extra stuff you need. Way cheap. 

JOURNAL has some of the most interesting fabric on the block, unique textiles like dancewear or lace, usually exclusive to them. This is where I found that rare ass pre-pleated suede fabric for Kylo Ren’s sleeves and the awesome shimmer-non-sparkle spandex for Miraculous Ladybug. 

.99 Fabric a yard. Literally as it says. 99cents a yard biittcchhh. I ALWAYS hit this place up because you always need cheap ass broadcloth, poplin, CHIFFON or Taffeta. He’s got it all man. Its awesome for basic shit. 

City Fabric has the best FUR and FLEECE selection you’ve ever seen. 

Mora Tex is a favorite of mine. The guy here loves cosplayers and the fabric I get here is always rich and stunning looking. I bought my Astrologian Velvet, Dishonored purple and grey suede. Kylo’s outer tunic, Rey’s tunic and shoe wool, Lavellan’s trespasser tunic, and so much NICE suiting. Basically any heavier, richer type fabrics you can probably find here. 

Trim 2000 Plus is the place I found my Inquistor buttons. This place is like a gold mine for buttons. They have the most interesting shit for super cheap. I spent like 5 bucks on both Emily and Corvos diamond cufflinks and royal button getup here.

Jerry’s all Trims. My favorite trim store!!!  He has everything! Belts too! Great for any trims, tassles, or piping you made need. AND HE LETS YOU BUY THE WHOLE ROLL OR BY YARD. I bought all the leather cord here for our Solas necklaces. And every gold piece of my Astrologian cosplay.

SOME TECHNICAL ISSUES:

-Parking in LA FABRIC district is hell on earth. The spots up by Jerry’s All trims is my secret spot, those are usually free (2 hr maximum). You can check side spots too, like between maple and san pedro, but don’t feel bad about pulling into a parking structure and paying the 7 bucks. Its not so bad. 

-Stores close around 6:00 on weekdays and saturdays. 

-WHILE PARKING IS FREE ON SUNDAY. A lot of these shops aren’t open. LA Alex and the the button store are closed for example. Button store is also closed mondays for some reason? AND EVERYTHING CLOSES BY 4 ON SUNDAY. 

-AWAYS bring cash. Lots of stores don’t take card. Or they will charge you extra for using it. There are ATMs inside some stores. But the service fee is like 3-5 bucks. YUCK. 

-Theres a random costume shop on 9th street that sells gloves. SKIP THIS. I know your tempted to buy everything at once, but this guy is way overpriced. Order your gloves on ebay for $1, trust me. 

-Best time to go is in the morning on a weekday, if you can manage it. Saturdays are hecka busy but that sometimes it a great thing cause the shops are ready to bargain.

-North of San pedro is NOT A GOOD AREA. Don’t park there. And if you’re leaving to go to Little Tokyo afterwards, turn around, take another street. 

“What A Ride” A. Andrews x Reader imagine

WARNING(S)  Okay I have only one thing to say… don’t drive and get’s fingered by your boyfriend at the same time! Reference of fingering. / not edited \

IMAGINE ABOUT: When you and your boi go on a interesting ride. 

Archie reached across the table and laced the fingers on our right hand together, igniting that familiar warmth. A half-smile bloomed on Achie’s lips as he glanced at my neck for a moment before he glanced at my neck for a moment before meeting my gaze. He did that a lot–stared at the hickey he gave me. And every time he did, this look would flash in his eyes just for a second, like he was overwhelmed with what it meant. 

“Have I ever told you just how much I like you?” 

My own lips tugged upwards. “Not nearly enogh.” 

He lifted our intertwined hands and pressed a kiss against my fingers, turning the flame that sizzled between us into a forest fire which burned pleasantly alond my veins. “I really, really like you, Y/N. Like, a lot.” 

“You’re not so bad yourself.” 

Archie chuckled, his dimple teasing me. “Your pride’s going tto end up killing you one day.” 

I stuck my tongue out in response. And then. “Are you finished your milkshake? Or do you want to sit here all day and discuss more of your deepest, darkest secrets? The lunch menu did look pretty tempting…” 

Every day this week we had gone out for either breakfast, lunch or dinner, but never two in one. Archie would stroll into whatever room or class I was in all casual, and tell me to get ready, or tell me we were leaving. It had become a thing. Having lunch here would definitely break some kind of rule, and I personally liked the little routine we had going. 

“Definitely finished.” 

After paying the bill, Archnie and I exited the dinner and climbed inside his car. It wasn’t until we were ten minutes into the ride, singing along to the radio that I noticed we weren’t taking the usual route home. 

“Where are we going?” I asked. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not the line,” Archie replied, grinning. 

“Yeah, well, I’m free styling,” I dead-panned, turning down the radio. “And you’re deflecting.” 

He chuckled. “We’re going nowhere, babe.” 

Archie,” I groaned 

Y/N,” he mimicked 

“Come on, for all I know you could be taking me to a slaughterhouse where I finally meet my end.” 

The sound of Archie’s laughter filled the car. “A slaughterhouse? Seriously, where do you came up with this stuff? I’m going to start writting them down.” 

“Okay, so maybe I watch a lot of horror movies. Sue me.” 

“Yeah, don’t I know it.” 

Okay, and perhaps I had talked Archie into watching one or two horror movies with me, and it was very possible the he wasn’t the biggest fan of the genre. But in my defence, Veronica had forced Titanic on Betty and I three times in one week, and I fugured it was as good a way as any to replace the heartbreaking imagine of Leonardo DiCaprio sinking at the bottom of the ocea. 

There was totally enogh space on that door, contrary to Betty’s beliefs. 

“I take that a s no, then?” I said

Archie rolled his eyes. “You’re relentless. We relly are going nowhere, Y/N. I just feel like driving arond for a while.” 

“And why’s that?” I asked, not buying it. 

“Because I want you all to myself for a little longer before we have to go back home when privacy is a luxury the universe clearly doesn’t think we deserve.” 

Oh. 

A small smile toyed on the end of my mouth. “Okay,” I said, just like that. “You win. But if we’re just going to be driving around—” 

“No.” 

My mouth fell open at Archie’s abrupt interruption. “You don’t even know what I was going to say!” 

He rolled his eyes. “No, you can’t drive my car. Is that better?” 

So maybe I had asked Archie a few dozen times if he would let me drive, and maybe his answer was the same every time. And maybe I had stupidly told him about the incident with mymother’s car back in April. But I hadn’t sat behind the wheel of a car, much less driven one, since I’d got here. And with Riverdale territory, I was craving speed. 

Luckily for me, we reached a red light, so like the evil enchantress I was turning out to me, I leaned over and closer the gap between Archie and I. Resting one hand on his thigh, I whispered, “Please?” in his ear. 

Archie cleared his throat. “No.” 

Slowly, I dragged my fingers along the inside of his thigh, causing him o grip the steering wheel that little bit tighter. Then I pressed a kiss against the sensitive spot under his jaw, and when my tongue flicked out, tasting his warm skin, I knew I had him. 

Y/N.” 

“Mmm?” I hummed as I kissed along his neck, feeling his pulse vibrate against me. 

“You’re going to make me crash.” he said breathily, and I realised het the light must have turned green. When my tongue glided across his senstive spot again, Archie surrendered. “Fuck.Okay.” 

Just like that, I pulled away, settling back into my seat. “See, that wasn’t too hard, was it” I said, all casual, as if my pulse wasn’t fluttering out of control ass well. 

I was so going to Hell. 

Archie turned into an empty-one way street and pulled over on the side before pushing his seat as far as it was build to go, taking off his seatbelt and then taking off mine. 

“What are y—” 

Archie efforlessly lifted me from my seat, as if I was a feather, ignoring my surprised squeal. And then he placed me between his muscular thigs, my back pressed against him and his hands holding my waist. Luckily for him, his choice of transport today had been his spacious Range Rover, which had enogh room in the driver’s seat for us both, considering the fact that I was plastered all over him. 

I knew this was too good to be true. 

“Come on, you didn’t really think I was going to let you behind the wheel of my car all by yourself, did you, babe?” Archie said, his deep voice vibrating against me. I could feel his heart beating wildly, a sign that he was still flustered. 

I runed my head and glared at him, but his smut smirk only grew. “I’m not a child, Archie. This is ridiculous,” I huffed. 

“I prefer the term compromise.” And then “Well, what are you waiting for? I thought you wanted to drive.” 

“You’re such an ass.” 

Still, I turned on the ignition and started driving, realising that Archie had purposefully choosen a desolate area where there was only a plethora of trees on both sides of the street. I could go as fast or as slow as I desired, and there was no way we were going to get pulled over for our very illegal seating arrangment. 

I hadn’t really been paying much attention to the fact that I was sitting between Archie’s thigs with my ass and back pressed against him, or to the fact that his delicious scent was clinging to me, or even the fact that I could feel every breath he took. But when his hands moved from my waist to rest on top of my thighs, thanks to the mini denim skirt I was wearing, the realisation hit me like a ton of bricks and it became very hard to concentrate. 

Archie much have noticed my grip tighten on the steering wheel. “What’s wrong?” he asked,, all sweet and casual. 

Guess he was going to be joining me in Hell. 

“Nothing,” I answered, speeding up a little bit. Yes, I thought. This was good. Go faster. 

And then Archie spread my legs apart ever so slightly and pressed a soft kiss under my ear, and everything inside me liquified. Payback was a bitch. 

“What are you doing?” I asked breathily, thankful that there we no cars or pedistrains lurking around because this was deifnition of dangerous, times a thousand. 

Archie’s tongue and teeth glided sensationally across my neck, pausing only to kiss my hickey. “Concentrate on driving Y/N,” he said in a low voice, his fingers trailing like tiny snakes along my thigs, travelling higher and higher. Goosebumps scattered all over my skin. 

“I can’t,” I rasped, leaning further against his solid chest. When I did, I felt that Archie was just as turned on as I was, and I knew then that I was definitely going to wrap this car around a tree. 

“You can,” he whispered, continuing to rain kisess all over my neck and collarbone. When he pushed my skirt up, fingers brushing slowly–painfully fucking–slowly against my lace panties. I all but slammed my foot down on the brake. 

Concentrate on driving, my ass. 

Archie chuckled into my neck, the sound deep and husky, and doing my arousal absolutely no favours. “Park on the side of the street.” 

I had never been so happy to follow one of Archie Andrew’s orders. 

Once I had safely parked, Archie turned me around so that I was stradding him, my skirt now pushed all the way up to my hips. His lips immediately found mine in a surprisingly soft, slow kiss, turning my bones into honey. It was like Archie needed me to know that this was all him– that he was in complete control. 

With our lips fused, I tugged the bottom of Archie’s henley, wanting to feel his skin and muscles in all their glory. We broke away for only a moment as he pulled his shirt over his head, discarding it on the passenger seat. 

Thank God for tinted windows and empty streets. 

And the hell with giving a damn. 

My hands snaked across Archie’s chest–across his heart– over his broad shoulders and rested on his muscular back. When his hand went in between my legs and his fingertip instantly found the right spot, stroking slowly and gently, everything inside me imploded wonderfully. 

Archie..” I moaned his name like my favourite prayer, titling my head back in pleasure. 

“Look at me,” Archie said, his deep voice coated in desire. 

I did as told, meeting Archie’s beautiful eyes, and then I felt the urge to kiss the life out of him. His mouth curled upwards in a half-smirk and then his finger slipped inside me, causing me to cry out in euphoria. 

Oh, my God.” 

“That’s not my name,” Archie said and I cold hear the wolfish grin in his voice as his fingers continued to caress and explore, sending a series of tremors down my entire body. Then he slipped another finger inside me and my nails clawed at his back, cluthing on for a dear life whilst his touch incinerated me. 

“Open your eyes, love.” 

I menaged to shake my head in response, unable to do anything other than gasp and moan waiting agonisingly for my release. This was pure heaven. 

Archie used his other hand— the one that wasn’t totally destroying all my self-control– to gently pull my chin towards him so he could kiss me, and another tsunami of delight crashed oover me. “Please?” he asked softly, lips gazing mine. 

My eyes fluttered open but they were hooded and I was so damn close to my release, I could feel the anticipation spreading all through my limbs. My nerves crackled and sputtered like sparklers before electicity surged through every atom in my body. 

“You’re the prettiest fucking person I’ve ever seen,” Archie rasped, his expression one of awe and appreciation. 

And then he finally granted me my release, and I exploded like a supernova, inadvertently dragging my nails alond Archie’s spine and digging then into his lower back as I cried out in pure, unadulterated exstasy. My lungs felt positively destroyed and I was sure my ribcage was going to shatter and splinter my organs, the sensation was that intense. I was left panting and most likely sweating as I leaned my head against Archie’s shoulder. 

Holy fucking shit. Archie Andrews was a goddamn wizard. 

I felt Archie raise his hand to his mouth and I knew, without even looking, that he was licking his fingers tasting me. “Perfect,” he mumbled. Then he pressed a kiss into my hair and let his hands go under my t-shirt, resting his palms on my lower back. I wrapped my arms around his neck: sitting like this, it felt something close to home.

“Sorry about your back. Think I drew blood,” I mumbled into his warm skin, though I had a suspicion that he actually liked it when I clawed his back. 

I felt his laugh before I head it. “It’s okay. Sorry in advance about your sore throat,” he teased. It was his fault for being so damnn good with his hands/ 

I lifted my head from his shoulder to stick my tongue out but stopped short when I was the look of absolute, unwavering devotion in his eyes, and the lazy smile on his face. He was the picture of serenity. So, instead, I kissed his chest, then his collarbone, his neck and then his jaw, which I felt clench. 

“Y/N,” Archie said. “I really, really don’t want our first time to be in a car.” 

I smiled and pressed a final kiss against his cheek before looking at him. 

“That’s good,” I replied. Neither did I. 

“I’m not a saint, though.” 

This time I laughed. “No shit?” 

“You’re terrible,” Archie responded. “And I’m being serious. Any self-control I had left is hanging by a thread. 

“If I’m not mistaken, you were the one who hive me a nuclear orgasm. I was merely an innocent bystander.” 

Archie grinned, dimples and all. “Nuclear, huh?” 

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up.” 

He chuckled. “Y/N Y/L/N, if I didn’t know you any better I’d say I just rocked your world. And it’s barely even midday.: 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Next time. I’ll do the honours.” 

Archie shook his head and looked up, like he was hoping the roof would open and then the sky would split in half and God would hand him some of that self-control he wanted to bad. “Our first time is not going to be in a car,” he told himself. 

I tried not to laugh. “You said that already,” 

“It’s not,” he insisted, and then groaned when I kissed the senstive spot under his jaw. Purgatory was completely out in the question for me. 

“What were you saying again?” 

And then In a flash, I was off Archie’s lap and sitting in the passenger seat, and he was wearing his henley again. I was laghing so hard whilst I put on my seatbelt. I thought I was going to run out of the little oxygen I had left in my lungs. 

“You,” Archie sad, out of breath, as he turned the car on, “Babe, are you sorceress.” 

“Pot. Kettle. Black.” 

“I didn’t remember you complaning.” 

This time I did stuck my tongue out. 

Archie just laughed. “Best breakfast ever.” 



I really, really hope you like it!



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