no one here can shoot back

The Shooting Star

A/N: Oh boy, here we go. This is my first entry one-shot for @doodledrawsthings human bill AU (which they helped edit and illustrate). For those not familiar, it’s an AU based on the Flat Dreams lore by @pengychan, basically a “what-if” scenario of Bill coming back during the Pines Twins second summer in Gravity Falls. If you’re unfamiliar with it, CHECK OUT THEIR PAGE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. Hope you enjoy this one.

part 2

part 3

“And this is the time DipDop and I were voted Best Dynamic Duo! Man, I can’t imagine not having my bro to count on!”

“Can we do something else.”

“Nope!”

The occupant of the kitchen chair groaned loudly, burying his face in his arms. “Tell me, Shooting Star, is TORTURING ME with POINTLESS HUMAN SENTIMENTS glued onto pieces of colorful paper some kinda elaborate revenge scheme you’re executing?”

“First, they’re not pointless. I’ll have you know I worked very hard on each of them! And second-” Mabel jumped up from her chair and smacked Bill lightly across the face. The demon recoiled with an half-annoyed half-startled snarl. “You’re being a jerk! So you get a frowny-face sticker.”

Bill slowly pried said sticker off his cheek, slowly ripped it in half with a disturbing satisfaction, and tossed the remaining pieces on the floor, his eyes never leaving Mabel’s. The demon silently got up, fixing the girl with a sneer before turning to leave. Well, that could have gone better.

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SHINee as a GPS
  • Minho: If you turn left here it will be faster than taking the highway. Okay now quick, turn left! Okay, now speed up, we want to get there as fast as physically possible.
  • Taemin: Turn left... No wait, right, turn right!! Okay, it has to be over here somewhere. Shoot, you were supposed to turn left back there, okay we'll just go the long way around. Sorry! ^^;;
  • Jonghyun: Turn left. Wait, did you see that dog?? It looked just like Roo ;; Oh my god there's another one. Can we stop and pet them? At least one of them? please??
  • Onew: Now turn left, right? (moment of panic when you don't know which way to turn, so you turn right) Malicious laughter, you thought I meant right, right? okay, but actually turn left, you're going to get us lost.
  • Kibum: What do you think you're doing? I told you to turn left. Okay, make a u-turn. No, I don't care if it isn't legal here just TURN AROUND. Okay fine, we're going this way now, have fun being three minutes late asshole.
What I think is happening right about now!

Moftiss checking Tumblr today for the reaction to THAT episode.

*Sweating*

Mark: Well, what are they saying?Do they hate it?
Steven: “It’s worse than that, they’re…they’re pissing themselves laughing at it!They think it’s too amateur to be the real episode.
Mark:"Oh, God! Is it too late to call the cast back and shoot something else.It was in Russian after all.We can change the dialogue and they’ll never know the difference here.”
Steven: “Sit down Mark….you’re not going to like this.Its been leaked in English as well.There’s fucking gifs, screenshots, translations, links…everywhere.”
Mark: “Phone Ben and Martin!Get them down here.We have just under 7 hours to save this show.If anyone can do it, it’s them.”
Steven:“How can we possibly save this now.Its a fucking disaster!”
Mark: “There’s only one way to save it now.”
Steven: “No…no…absolutely not…let’s bring Lara P…back in..
Mark: IRENE ADLER DOESNT MATTER!YOU HEARD HUDDERS!YOU FUCKING WROTE IT INTO THE LAST EPISODE YOURSELF!
Steven: Head in hands- "make the calls”
Mark “ Agreed then….we’re going gay! It’s the only way to divert their attention away from this train wreck of a series!

2

oh gosh aaa, well, uh, here she is!! here’s my Overwatch OC!!(who’s also kind of a self-insert because i’m trash

This is Blitzen!! 

She’s an offense hero who loves coffee more than anything.  

She uses a gun that’s also a coffee mug. It shoots explosive coffee beans. 

She can project holographic clones with the device on her back; she’s also able to do this with targeted teammates (sorta like Zarya and her barriers). The clones are useful with distracting opponents in the heat of battle but will not do any damage. One hit and they disappear. When she’s full on health she can run very quickly, but will become slower as she takes damage. 

When activating her ult, her antlers will expand and she will charge at an enemy with extreme speed. If she hits, it’s usually an insta-kill and she will knock enemies in her way back as she’s charging, briefly stunning them. If she misses, she will become dazed for a few seconds.

Some fun little facts abt her:

  • She spends most of her time at Kofi Aromo. Like… a LOT of time. She always orders something different. She’s tried about everything on the menu. 
  • Those legs aren’t armor; they’re omnic-made prosthetics and enhanced to increase her speed.
  • She’s Polish and German. She was born in Poland, but moved to the East Coast of the United States early in her life. She has a slight accent. She speaks Polish, but is not entirely fluently. (Her ult is in Polish: “Wychodzić Cało!”) 
  • Her real name is Aleska Sorge. She’s 24. She’s about 5′9″.
  • She’s a huge fan of Overwatch. She has always loved and looked up to Reinhardt (her “Antler Dash” ult is inspired by him!), as well as the other Crusaders in Germany.
  • Despite being around the same age, Blitzen has always looked up to Tracer as well. 
  • She’s bi af and has big ol crush on both Soldier:76 and Sombra. Maybe a small one on Hanzo too (she’s somewhat afraid of his bow though)
  • She’s usually pretty timid and keeps to herself, but when she’s around company she likes, she doesn’t know how to shut up. 
  • She loves Lucio’s music a lot. 
  • She made her costume herself after her favorite animal, the deer. She also took some inspiration from Tracer as well, with her color scheme. It’s unknown where she acquired her tech, though. 
  • Her legendary skins are: Fauna & Satyr (Dressed up as the mythological creature w fuzzy legs, hooves, and her antlers are replaced by the horns of a ram, w some flowers on them) and Nekromanta & Summoner (Dons a horned skull, carries a spellbook, and is dressed in raggedy, garb). Gonna draw these eventually ;w;

so yeah!! i hope you all like her owo;;// sorry if she’s really lame!! 

[template for her profile can be found here]

~~*NSFW*~~

“It’s freezing in here! I’m going to die, baobei!” His whining rings loudly in this empty house, still waiting to be filled with your furniture. He snuggles up to your side to steal warmth, cold hands sneaking in against your warm skin and making you jump and squeak loudly. He pouts at your flinch with eyes as wide as he can make them. “It’ll warm both of us up…” His logic is unassailable and before long, your bare back is against the cold wooden floor, squirming underneath him to get moving, fast and hard. It may be cold in here, but he already has you panting with the desperate pace, his own hot breath puffing out against your neck and collarbone. One arm is tight around your waist pulling you up against his chest while the other pulls your leg up and around his back, getting the two of you as tightly intertwined as he can to get your core temperatures shooting up.

- Admin J

Dex deals with it, in increments.

He didn’t stop himself falling because he hadn’t noticed it had happened until it was too late, but he’s picked himself up off the ground of loving Nursey and managed to make his way across the vast expanse. He can’t shoot back up into obliviousness again, thinks he might come across a canyon and fall even further.  It’s maybe inevitable, being bound by this love for the rest of his life. At first he’d let himself believe in quiet moments that he might be free one day, might move on to someone else’s land and love them as much; but then Nursey would smile, or laugh, or breathe, and Dex would know. He’s gone, he’s fallen hard and fast and fully, plummeted to the earth that is Derek Nurse, the gravity of love tying him indefinitely to this man.

So he deals with it. It’s the best he can do.

He remembers that they’re not friends. This confuses Nursey at first because they’d pretty much reached a mutual accord at the end of the last semester, but a few sharp words from Dex and they go back to being grudging acquaintances. Dex tries not to notice that he’s always the one on the attack in their petty arguments, that Nursey – who’s so kind, so good – never does more than gently chirp or defend himself with the deft deflection of a poet. He gets used to the frowns from Bitty when he spits acid, vile and corrosive, at Nursey across the kitchen. Rans and Holtz try talking to him about it once, but he spits at them too, his words as toxic as chemicals in a lab explosion, and they learn to leave him be. They want to help, they care so much, but ultimately as long as they play well together they can’t do much more as captains. It’s not only not their job, but not their place either.

(In the dark of his room, Dex sometimes wishes that they’d push him. Lock him and Nursey in a room together so they’re forced to talk, so Dex has no choice but to let the torrent of feeling that he’s hidden inside him escape his carefully constructed dam and wash through the room. Let him face the scorn, or the sympathy, or the awkward acceptance that would inevitably follow the reveal. But they won’t force him, and he’s not brave enough to do it alone.)

It gets harder as they grow more distant, because when Nursey isn’t talking to Dex he’s talking to everyone else, spilling his sunlight all over them so they smile and laugh and relax in the warmth of his presence. Dex watches this from the shadows, sees the rays just across the room and wishes he could step into them, give Nursey a smile, slip back into the friendship they’d so briefly had. But then Nursey will glance his way, catch Dex watching him, and Dex has to scowl and turn away, curl up in the cool shade he’s damned himself to, curse away the tears that want to run with the absence of light.

It comes to a head when Dex requests he be moved lines. He can’t play with Nursey, he tells Coach Hall. Can’t skate with him. Can’t breathe the same air.

Coach Hall refuses, but he does tell Ransom and Holster. They tell Nursey, and finally, he snaps.

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My dad committed suicide almost a year ago now. I had always communicated with him over a text app because he separated from my mother and I after their divorce. He moved away from USA and went back to his hometown overseas. He was the one paying for my phone bills so whenever I needed a refill, I would shoot him a text. However, a few days before his passing, I had asked him and he replied that he couldn’t and that he was sorry. I replied “that’s okay and ok!” That was our last conservation. I can’t express how difficult it has been to accept this reality. He was the kindest human and father on earth. I just can’t believe that he’s physically not here anymore. I keep imagining that someday he’ll suddenly show up and tell me that it was all a dream. I lost my role model, inspiriation, father, and best friend. I miss you everyday, Dad. I miss your crazy laughter and stupid jokes. I miss the fun facts you’d randomly tell me. I miss our conversations. I miss the movie nights and the spontaneous adventures we’d go on together. I would do anything and everything to have you back. I promise I’ll never get mad at you again so come back please.

2

Imagine being a former member of Hydra but having your memories of it erased until Bucky recognizes you.

“What the hell is going on?” you demanded, struggling against the man with the metal arm. Your cheek was against the pavement, your hands roughly tugged behind your back. “Get off me!”

“You can’t lie your way out of this one.” The man’s face was set in a heavy scowl as he yanked you to your feet. “Hydra’s not here to defend you this time.”

He gave you a shove forwards and you stumbled. Instinct took over and you spun around, aiming a roundhouse kick that caught Bucky off-balance. You jumped, pulling your hands under your feet so you could move them in front of you. His arm came shooting towards you and you dodged, adrenaline coursing through your veins. Hydra? For a moment, you were confused. Then the memories came flooding back.

You staggered, a shooting pain lancing through your skull alongside the rush of images and experiences. Bucky was coming at you again. His fist came shooting out and you brought up the restraints holding your arms. His metal fist crushed them easily and then you were running.

Gif Credit: Bucky

Speaking of Funassyi jumps, this famous early photo of Funassyi getting amazing air has been passed around social media for years. A few days ago Mira Nakano, who is one of the best Funassyi and gotouchi chara photographers around, revealed that she was the one who took it back in March 2013. She also more shots of the whole jumping sequence, which you can see here. She’s shooting up to the stage so it looks like Funassyi is suspended in air. What a great shot! 

square one

for @deathberryprompts. theme is ‘paradise.’ 196 words. set just after Rukia’s dress fitting. inspired by the character assassination that is the new novel and also by @hashtagartistlife‘s drabble.


It was supposed to be a happy day.

“How did we get here?” Ichigo’s voice is broken. He can’t meet her eyes.

Tension roils about the room, masked by deep melancholy.

Her dress hangs in the corner like a spectre.

“I think I’m the one that should be asking that question.” Rukia’s nails dig into her palm. She turns, her eyes boring into him.

“Goddamn it, Rukia!” He stands in an instant, covering the distance between them in two strides and backs her into the wall.

His grip on her shoulders is searing. Pain shoots through her spine and something inside her snaps. She flips their position and slams him flush against the wall. She leans in close to his face.

“Fuck. You. YOU are the one that left. YOU walked away.” She spits. His face drops. He opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out.

She searches his expression, finding it inadequate.

Rukia releases Ichigo with a huff. She turns toward the door. Her voice drops to a hush.

“Who knew paradise would feel like prison.”

She doesn’t spare him a backward glance. This time, Kuchiki Rukia is the one who walks away.

'Miss Saigon' Sentence Starters
  • "Just give that virgin act a rest."
  • "I got an itch and, baby, you'd better scratch it."
  • "They swear like men, they screw like boys."
  • "I will not cry, I will not think."
  • "Man, you need some action to clear your head."
  • "Why does nothing here make sense?"
  • "I want my memories as they were, but now I'll leave remembering her/him."
  • "I have had my fill of pain, I will not look back again. I would rather die."
  • "One and the same, you and I."
  • "When you were in trouble, man, I covered for you!"
  • "You have no right to be here, I'm not a prize you can claim."
  • "Go on and shoot! I will not change my mind."
  • "You are still mine. You're mine until we die."
  • "Stay with me, and hold me tight, and dance like it's the last night of the world."
  • "The time will come when nothing keeps us apart."
  • "What's haunting you?"
  • "There's a big screw loose inside you, I will rip it out of your head!"
  • "Do you see now who has power?"
  • "I am talking of life or death now, I am talking of staying free!"
  • "I'm warning you, for him/her, I'll kill!"
  • "If you want to die in bed, don't care too much for country."
  • "No-one can stop what I must do."
  • "I swear, I'd give my life for you."
  • "She has a child. You have a son/daughter."
  • "Hahahahahaha! I'm depressed."
  • "You will never be free; not as long as there's me!"
  • "He/She betrayed you once, and he will again."
  • "Get back, I tell you, don't shout!"
  • "They'll kill who they find here, don't leave us behind here!"
  • "It could kill her/him to lose you. And maybe, just maybe, you need her/him too."
  • "If you're hers/his, then be hers/his, and forget about me now!"
  • "_____ is smart, she/he'll understand."
  • "I still taste your kisses."
  • "Perfume can cover a stench, that's what I learned from the French."
  • "I'm too good to waste my talent for greed."
  • "Girls can buy tits by the pair, the American dream!"
  • "Just sell your soul and you gain the American dream."
  • "Is this too much? I can never tell."
  • "Hold me one last time."
  • "How in one night have we come so far?"
I just witnessed a Black couple with guns shootout

So I’m in the car chillin outside the Barbershop when a black man runs out the shop and to his car, shortly after a black women runs out and goes to her car. She comes back with something behind her back. The man shouts from his car “I KNOW YOU GOT IT” and she shouts back “NO I DONT” she then proceeds to walk forward a little and he shouts “DONT COME OVER HERE”. She then starts running at him shooting a nerf gun, he has one too and he starts shooting as well. Now this grown ass black man and women are standing in the middle of the parking lot. And you can tell from their laughter and how much they are enjoying themselves but at the same time talking crap they are a couple. Now for about 5 mins they a hiding behind cars shooting going back and forth it was the most adorable thing I’d seen. Then the husband (Ima assume they are married bc he said something about leaving something at the house) goes “let’s get outta here before the police come and say they thought we had real guns” and this just like beautiful moment was over and it honestly breaks my heart that black peoples have to think this way.

The Dead Bug

To do the classic dead bug exercise start on your back. Bend your knees and lift your legs into the air with your knees bent at 90-degree angles. Shoot your arms straight into the air with your wrist above your shoulders. This is your starting position.
While you’re here think about drawing your shoulders to your hips to create internal trunk tension.
Keep your arms and legs engaged (imagine shooting fireworks out of your hands and feet) and inhale as you lower opposite arm and leg toward the floor. “Your appendages are playing a tug of war,” explains Kast.
Take four slow counts to lower and go as low as you can. If your lower back arches you’ve gone too far.
Exhale, pressing your low rib cage against the floor, and take four slow counts to return to your starting position.
Start with 10 reps on one side before switching to the next side.

Hugging Astro from behind

Masterlist: x


Jinwoo-

It was thirty minutes before one of Astro’s biggest stages. I mean, of course they have performed before, but never for an audience of 30,000+ people. Jinwoo’s nerves were clearly getting the best of him as he was pacing around, muttering his rap in Clap Clap. You being the great girlfriend you are, decided to come up behind him and hug him!

“What was that for?! And, can I have another one?!”

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Time

Word Count: 738

Warnings: Angsty, Mentions of Demon, Sadness, Grieving

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Tags: @lucifer-in-leather @helvonasche @mamaredd123 @ravengirl94

Author’s Note: This was written for @death2thevirgin Cassie’s Classic’s Challenge. The prompt I chose was “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story, 1970. Thank you so much for allowing me to participate! Also I’m terribly sorry for the awful title, if you have a better suggestion please let me know, titling is one of my weak points.

Originally posted by lucifersagents

You’re packing your things in the motel room to go back to the bunker when you hear a whoosh behind you. You turn with a gun in hand and are faced with whiskey eyes and a sweet grin.

“Hiya Sugar, shoot me all night I’ll still be here,” Gabriel grins at you; he’s back, standing in front of you with that grin on his face, with those beautiful golden wings behind him, but it can’t be real, Gabriel is dead, has been for what feels like forever.

“What the hell are you?” you demand, expecting another trick. You had received a phone call from him, but he never truly grasped the convenience of a cell phone, he always popped in on you if he wanted to talk, so you knew that one was a trick. This felt different though, it almost felt what used to be normal.

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3

Requested by Anon #197

Snart: Let’s just get the stuff and get out of here.
Y/N: Who the hell are you?
Snart: Oh um…we work for you father.
Y/N: Okay but just so you know my dad isn’t here and I’m pretty sure I know a burglar when I see one.
Snart: I’m so much more than a burglar. *walks closer*
Y/N: St…stay back.
Snart: You’re not scared of me are you?
Y/N: Stop *shoots fire*
Snart: *dodges* What the hell was that?
Y/N: I..I don’t know. I can’t control it.
Snart: Who made you like this?
Y/N: My father. He does experiments on me to help me.
Snart: Help you? No that’s not happening. You’re coming with us.
Y/N: Why?
Snart: Because what your father doing is dangerous and cruel to you.
Y/N: Why should I trust you?
Snart: There is no reason. *holds out hand* But anything has to be better than staying here.
Y/N: *grabs his hand* Let’s go.

By the way, so there’s no confusion here, when somebody outright tells you that they reject the NAP and that in the absence of a state they would be one of the first people to oppress you, then it is absolutely morally permissible to thank them for the discussion and then shoot them in the back right then and there as soon as they walk away.

You can’t reject a reciprocal moral standard, declare your intent to actively violate it, and then expect to be protected by it.

They literally just put themselves on the moral level of a rabid dog, it is only right to treat them as one.

You might say that this attitude perfectly demonstrates why we need a government. You would be wrong. Were I to actually follow through on such a course of action, a prospective criminal would have died, and I would have lived. I would not need the government to protect me from bandits, because I would have just done it myself.