no one has a better walk

anonymous asked:

rose would absolutely be that one kid who makes everyone shiver with her monologues. She played a villian one time and no one has been the same since, completely calm and serene before and after performance but while she’s onstage it’s like the whole world has dimmed around her. Vriska is so fucking bitter. Dunno if she’d be able to sing tho, that seems like a stretch

its been my longtime stance that none of the strilondes can sing a fucking note to save their lives, so rose most definitely sounds atrocious, but you best believe that she got up there and played Julius Caesar better than the man himself did and no one walked out of the theater the same person

all seriousness aside vriska is terrible at playing villains, she’s too campy and she pulls out this vaudevillain bullshit improv whenever there’s a gap in the script. she does a fantastic antihero however

We’ve had some small successes in the mess that has been the past few months.

Epic was able to be out (on leash) while a couple visited, without freaking out. 

She had a freak out at one guy during a walk, but I was able to get her back under threshold and she was then very happy to pretend he didn’t exist.

She’s also gotten a lot better at recall while on the long lead, despite my terrible reinforcers. And we’ve made a small dent in her prey drive freak outs, she’s been able to disengage for a bit.

And she had a go at wading in the ocean by herself, which is pretty big. She’ll do it, but it’s usually because we’re shaping her going in the water.

Life’s probably going to hit us again with some hard stuff, and I honestly don’t know if Epic and I will make it through. But for now, those are some of our small successes.

Some Things in Beauty and the Beast (2017)

  • opening scene with the prince in some extra™ makeup
  • belle teaching little girls how to read
  • belle rejecting gaston SO MANY TIMES
  • le fou winking at gaston
  • the amazing cgi work on the beast
  • when belle shoved her father out of the cell and saved him
  • it showed what happened to Belle’s mother in a way that added to belle, her father, and belle’s relationship with beast
  • le fou’s cross-dressing BOYFRIEND
  • umm i think lumiere dabbed at one point in be our guest????
  • beast giving belle the library just so he can show her he has better taste in books
  • that goddamn waltz and when beast lifts belle up and twirls her and the lights are all pretty!!!!
  • FUCKING EVERMORE PERFORMED BY DAN STEVENS
  • wasting in my lonely tower
  • waiting by an open door
  • i’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in
  • and be with me for evermore
  • le fou being redeemed and not being an idiot in any way
  • le fou and his bf getting a HAPPY ENDING! A GAY HAPPY ENDING IN A MAINSTREAM DISNEY MOVIE SOMEONE HOLD ME
  • two interracial kisses in a disney movie?? um yes pls and thanks
  • that growl!!! omfg!!!
  • in conclusion: I want to watch this movie everyday for the rest of my life
50 OTP Things

I would love it if you guys sent me a number and a ship!

1. Who is the early bird/ Who is the night owl?
2. Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?
3. Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?
4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?
5. Who usually has nightmares?
6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day?
7. Who sweats the small stuff?
8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?
9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?
10. Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?
11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?
12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?
13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?
14. Who kills the spiders?
15. Who is scared of the dark?
16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?
17. Who works/ Who stays at home?
18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?
19. Who loves to call the other one cute names?
20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?
21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?
22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?
23. Who asks who out on the first date?
24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener?
25. Who wears the other ones clothes?
26. Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?
27. Who takes a long shower/ Who sings in the shower?
28. Who is the book worm?
29. Who is the better cook?
30. Who likes long walks on the beach?
31. Who is more affectionate?
32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?
33. Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ Who would wear “sin” t-shirt?
34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?
35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?
36. Who is the social media addict?
37. Height difference or age difference?
38. Who likes to star gaze?
39. Who buys cereal for the prize inside?
40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?
41. Who cries during sad movies?
42. Who is the neat freak?
43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?
44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?
45. Who is more likely to get drunk?
46. Who has the longer food order?
47. Who has the more complex coffee order?
48. Who loses stuff?
49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?
50. Who is the hopeless romantic?

send me a ship and I'll tell you...

who is more likely to hurt the other?
who is emotionally stronger?
who is physically stronger?
who is more likely to break a bone? 
who knows best what to say to upset the other? 
who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? 
who treats who’s wounds more often? 
who is in constant need of comfort? 
who gets more jealous? 
who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 
who will propose? 
who has the most difficult parents?
who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 
who comes up for the other all the time? 
who hogs the blankets? 
who gets more sad? 
who is better at cheering the other up? 
who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?
who is more streetwise?
who is more wise?
who’s the shyest? 
who boasts about the other more? 
who sits on who’s lap? 

I roll to pet the dog.

DM: okay, so, Spoons (the party’s bard) is up first. the dog is charging at you. Natalia (the lady we were fighting) is seeming to charge some sort of magic. what are you gonna do?

bard, OOC: i’m gonna do this. -plays the kazoo to cast speak with animals-

DM: you can communicate now, it’s like

DM, as dog: give her the fucking book. I’m an angry dog.

bard: why are you so angry?

the dog explains why he is so angry.

bard: I mean…I think I know what can solve that. how ‘bout a tummy rub?

DM, as dog: gonna have to roll a nat 20 on persuasion my dude.

bard, OOC: aww a nat 20? come on!

-proceeds to roll a nat 20-

bard, OOC: oH MY FUCK -the sounds of hyperventilating-

some disbelief and one screenshot later:

DM: -whispers- what the fuck.

bard, OOC: I’m gonna pet the FUCK out of that dog.

DM, still in disbelief: the dog…is a pacifist now. you get to pet it. it walks away. he slinks away into the shadows.

bard, OOC: no! first I’m gonna tell him he’s a good boy!

the DM then proceeds to make dog noises for the bard as the dog is pet and praised, and the party has one less enemy to fight.

the worst thing about bad cgi movies is that each one has to cram in a forced tearjerker scene ala every pixar movie ever without the rest of the movie having any hint of character or sentimentality, so you know something like boss baby or the emoji movie is going to have this weird out of place scene where the characters lose sight of their goals or end up hurting each other and they walk slowly to sad music before realizing something about themselves or about what they need to do to make things better, except instead of it being genuinely charming characters you relate to, its alec baldwin the dreamworks baby whose bare ass you’ve been forced to look at for at least 20 minutes prior

Lame adaptations and sequels are always like, “how can Mina go back to her stifling Victorian marriage after her experience with the dark, seductive Dracula??”

Meanwhile, Mina marries her best friend, who she’s known since they were children, who she share common interests with, they build a home together, work as partners, make immense sacrifices for each other, support each other through their traumas.

Guys, a marriage isn’t stifling and restrictive just because two people… get along, I guess?

Smooth Talker

Last week, I was DMing a one-off campaign for a few friends. Two have played before and the third has never played a live role-playing game before, so he was a bit uncomfortable. He decided to be a bard (named Shilo Buff).

I started them off in a stereotypical tavern for everyone to get their bearings and put the ball in the bard’s court, letting him do whatever he wanted.

Bard OOC: I walk up to the bar and lean on it next to a lady standing there and I say…

Bard: Hey, baby, you ever heard a song before?

The Lady (Me): Ummm…yes?

Bard: You wanna hear another?

Bard OOC: And I play this on my bagpipes…

He pulls out his phone and a bagpipes cover of Careless Whisper starts to play.

Me, the DM, through my laughter (everyone else is cracking up as well): Roll a performance check.

…he rolls a 20.

The entire bar is enraptured by his performance and they fill a cup in front of him with gold. The lady hangs on him the rest of the evening.

And that’s still only the second best pick-up line I’ve experienced in a Dungeons & Dragons tavern.

Enough excuses for parents who abused their kids but “meant the best”. They “meant the best” for themselves, not for the kids. It’s fucking easy to just rely on emotional abuse, threats, humiliation, shame, guilt and violence to get your way and to force your kid to stay in control and to sabotage and fuck up the child’s life so you would feel good about it, and then to just remind yourself “i meant the best” to feel no guilt about doing so whatsoever. Just repeating to yourself “it doesn’t hurt them” and “they deserved it”  while actively forcing your child to keep all the obvious trauma symptoms out of sight or ensuring the child believes it’s their own damn fault for feeling the way they do.

You know what’s not easy? Having your parent force control of your life via emotional abuse, threats, shame, humiliation, violence. Your parent getting into your own head and  gaslighting your senses until you feel worthless and insane and like a monster, until you don’t dare to feel your own feelings, until you’re ashamed of the pain you feel and can’t see yourself as anything other than a horrible burden and nothing you do can ever change that or make you good enough. You know what’s even harder? Still believing that your parent “meant the best” and not even daring to blame them and still being forced to draw the conclusion that it was after all, all your fault, for existing as you do, for being who you are, for not ever being good enough! And then, on top of all of it, hearing the rest of the world agree with the parent’s view, pressuring you to never blame them, to forgive them, to never hold them responsible, to “be better” and understand them, to not ever try to place blame on anyone but yourself because then you’re the monster.

Just. How. Is. One. Supposed. To. Heal. From. That.
Healing can’t even begin until the blame is placed on the parent! This person literally benefited from their child’s suffering! They did not get affected negatively from it at all, they didn’t even care, they walked away satisfied and getting what they wanted while the child now has a lifetime of traumatic consequences and mental illness problems! Their freedom is taken away, their quality of life reduced, their relationships and friendships sabotaged, their confidence crushed! They’re placed at extra risk for addictions and obsessions because they keep falling into the black pit of trauma no matter how hard they try to distract and their life is heavy and painful no matter how well they do afterwards! Their brain can’t regulate stress properly anymore! Abuse causes literal brain damage and all this is just so the parents would get their way! And you all still insist they shouldn’t feel guilty about it or be faced with consequences of their abuse? They shouldn’t fucking admit to themselves and to their children what they’ve done? If the truth will kill them, let them die. Abused children’s right to heal comes way before the abusers feeling good about themselves.

Theory time.........

There was something about this whole narrative, that wasn’t adding up for me. I was having a hard time putting my finger on it, then Camila released that description about her album, and it started making more sense.

They want us to believe, this whole narrative took place in 2016, but when you remember back and realize, the 2016 narrative was just a revamped version of the 2015 narrative, it all begins to fall into place.

Everyone latched on to that July 4 2016 Brazil snap, of her alone, writing in a hotel bathroom, while the girls were out celebrating together, as the time she began writing “I have questions”. That’s exactly what Management hoped you’d do. If one paid attention though, you would see that the more important snap happened back in October 2016. She snapped a photo of her writing in a bathroom, with the caption ”destroyed”. First, July - October does not equal 6 months, no matter how crappy your math is. Second, the 7/27 tour was coming to an end, and with that caption, I actually think, that is when she finished writing “I have questions”.

The only tour date they had in early 2016, was Dubai. So, unless she started writing it in a Dubai potty, the rest of early 2016 was spent promoting WFH. She stated she started writing that song, “a little over a year ago” while on tour. I think her “a little over a year ago” means the last few months of 2015, September-November. That she eventually had to face her problems, and she finally went back to the lyrics she started from the year before, and finished the song, then wrote a sad song every day until she got sick of writing sad shit. That song seems to be a catalyst for her, and I’m thinking it probably  “destroyed” her to finally finish it.

Camila was asked recently, in an interview, when her anxiety showed itself and started becoming a real problem for her. Her answer was, 2015. Everything started in 2015. Her anxiety, the fucking narrative, the division, EVERYTHING!!

Keep reading

How did I lose the weight?

I really hate to be redundant, because I’m sure you’ve been told this plenty of times already, (and so have I), but it is the actual answer: eat healthier foods and smaller portions, and exercise HARD at least 3-4 times a week. 

I think it is especially important to add heavy lifting training into your fitness regime because it will shape your body better than an all cardio schedule. Also, muscle burns more calories even while resting so the more muscle you have, the faster you will see change! I heavy lift at least 3 times a week now, and that jump started my weight loss. Cardio is still done, but I do less endurance cardio (just running for a long time at a normal pace), and more high intensity cardio. For example, I will do short sprints at my fastest pace for 1/8 of a mile, then walk the rest of the lap. Then I will repeat this until I’ve finished one mile, usually. It is healthier for your heart to learn how to beat faster and then cool down faster, too. This will actually reduce your resting BPM, which is very healthy for your heart! 

I also take pro-biotics daily now, and it has helped my stomach immensely and therefore helped my metabolism. That coupled with a daily multi-vitamin and LOTS of water has helped my body and mind feel better in general. I drink a lot of coffee, too, so I have to remember to drink DOUBLE the water for each coffee. So many bathroom breaks. So worth it. 

I started using the app/website MyFitnessPal to track my intake and my output! I have a 67 day streak going on right now for logging my meals and my exercise. I find that app extremely helpful because it is encouraging and it tells you if you are eating enough/too little, not just if you are eating too much. It really is a good app for your health, and I think it has a good social community too that keeps me motivated! Before using MFP, I never thought too much about what I was putting into my body and my workouts were not as regimented. This made it harder for me to lose weight in a pleasing pattern. Now the scale goes down about 1 pound each week. That is a super healthy pattern of weight loss because it is not too fast. 

However, I do not want to just lose weight! When I reach my desired weight, a healthy BMI, I wish to gain a little back in muscle. More muscle = MORE FOOD. And I sure do love food. 

I hope this helps! Any other questions more specifically aimed at my diet and exercise, please feel free to ask me! 

whenever Viktor gets too annoying for Yurio to tolerate the blond kid yells “CHIHOKO IS BETTER THAN YOU” and Viktor will let out a hurt gasp and start crying bc it takes him a while to remember that n o, Chihoko is NOT an e-lover of Yuuri’s, but a fucking fish statue

Yuuri has to reassure Viktor and remind him that no one in the world is better than him, and by Yuuri’s request Beka will take Yurio out on a walk to cool down

A Lesson in Love (Creative Writing)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,547

A/N: The tag list for this story is officially CLOSED. Also, we’re nearing the end of this series. I’d say there’s 4-5 parts left. 

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - Forever grateful for your editing assistance.

Originally posted by thoranda

The sun is out as you walk to your Creative Writing class. It’s a sign that winter is really being left behind, only to be replaced by longer days, warmer weather and an abundance of thriving greenery.

As much of a fan that you are of the freezing season, you’re grateful to see it go. The temperamental radiator in your apartment made your nights especially cold and knowing that you don’t have to depend on that for warmth anymore is a big relief.

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zimbits au wherein a run in with the lax bros leads to a run in with jack

Eric’s walking down the street, latte in one hand and phone in the other, only a very little bit lost on his spontaneous scenic detour to the library. He’s halfway through composing a tweet when several air-horns blast in his direction at once.

He swears, jumps about a mile out of his skin, and drops both his coffee and his phone.

The coffee, sadly, goes up before it comes down, and manages to splash all over his front before spilling across his shoes too. He quickly retrieves his phone from the pavement before it’s similarly attacked by the travelling coffee, and checks it over for damage. He sighs out when he sees it’s only a little scratched on the side of the case, and presses a palm to his chest to try and calm the furious beating of his heart.

He looks over to the house across the way, out of which several, men—actually, boys, Eric’s going to call them after that stunt—are laughing at him, and high-fiving each other. Eric flushes and screws his lips together, telling himself not to cry in front of them, not to give them the satisfaction.

“Hey! Dickfaces!”

Eric looks behind him to see a moustached man flipping the bird to the boys in the house across the street.

“Fuck off to your basement of inadequacy and wine coolers, you absolute shitfuckers.”

The boys don’t take his advice, but rather, blast their air-horns again which causes Eric to hunch up his shoulders.

“Hey, brah, you alright?” The man walks up to Eric and looks him over. “Shit, dude. They got you good.”

Eric sighs out, trying to keep his composure. “It’s alright. Thanks for telling them off.”

“Fucking LAX bros. I live for telling them off. Come on inside and I’ll help you clean up.”

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anonymous asked:

BODY 👏 SWAP 👏 TROPE 👏 Hcs for members switching bodies with another member for a day what would they do 👻 You can pick who switches with who ~ love you 💕

i am loving this freaky friday shit

Yoosung in Jumin’s body

  • suddenly sleep deprived gamer boy has to play head of a massive corporation for the day?
  • he hates it
  • FIRST OF ALL, he cant understand anything anyone is saying
  • he cant even enjoy all the luxury of being Jumin, he’s too busy answering confusing phone calls that he has to clumsily stutter his way through
  • “Mr. Han, did you look over the marketing teams newest proposal for re-branding products to better appeal to a wider range of potential clients?”
  • “um…yea it was good. sounds like a good idea”
  •  “excellent. when you have time today please email me with-”
  • “yea sure tell Jaehee and i’ll do it”
  • “Mr. Han, i think-”
  • he hangs up, and that happens a few times before he even gets to work
  • gets lost like three times looking for his own office
  • as soon as he sees Jaehee he runs up to her and hugs her
  • “Jaehee oh my god this has been the worst morning ever everyone talks like their 50 years old and i-”
  • “Mr. Han? i dont think this behavior is-”
  • he lets go and brushes himself off, clearing his throat
  • “ah..um..yes, of course. i’ll be in my office…..assistant Kang…”
  • tries to pull his office door open, discovering that its a push door
  • all day:

Zen in Jaehee’s body

  • first of all
  • he knew Jaehee was a fan but like….
  • not this big of a fan
  • he is both overwhelmed by how thankful he is to have so much support and…a little freaked out?
  • also, he thinks Jaehee is attractive but who are we kidding, when he looked in the mirror and saw not himself, he was pretty upset
  • also pretty disappointed in Jaehee’s fashion sense but thats another subject for another day
  • there is no way in hell Zen was gonna go play Jumin assistant all day, he would rather die probably
  • and Zen knows better than anyone just how desperately this poor girl needs a break
  • so he decides to have a little treat yo self day!
  • he goes shopping and drinks fancy starbucks coffee and even gets a massage
  • he even snags a few cute boys numbers
  • (which yknow….Jaehee doesnt really need….but anyway)
  • he isnt really giving Jaehee a day off by doing this
  • but at least the massage will leave her feeling good in the morning!!

Jaehee in Seven’s body

  • cleaning
  • just, so much cleaning
  • also leaving the house to buy groceries
  • then getting a violent reminder that Seven is a very busy person when his boss calls
  • he sounds so scary and keeps talking about a “hard deadline” and someone named “agent vanderwood”
  • isnt that Sevens maid or something….?
  • well, no one can work on an empty stomach. not even the defender of justice
  • when she returns, agent vanderwood is there but she doesnt know its him
  • probably goes all martial arts on him, thinking its an intruder
  • vanderwood is a trained agent so he fights back a bit before being like SEVEN WHatTHE FUCK WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME ILL LITERALLY TAZE YOU
  • “taze me? arent you here to clean?”
  • VANDERWOOD IS READY TO KILL
  • “just do your work, alright?”
  • “um…yea…of course….”
  • KEYBOARD MASHING
  • Jaehee has no idea whats going on but she knows how to make it sound like she’s doing shit
  • starts working on C&R projects at one point

Jumin in Zen’s body

  • first thing he does is wake up and chop his hair off
  • all that hair just gets in the way?? he hates it??
  • that will be a nice surprise for Zen the next day :)
  • he knows that Zen probably has rehearsal and stuff but he’s not an actor
  • and he has a more important job to do anyway at C&R 
  • uuuggHHHH why doesnt Zen own any NICE suits??!
  • spends Zen’s money on a 3 piece suit
  • much better :)
  • then he tried to go into work just, as Zen
  • so many people tried to stop and ask who he was but he just walked past them
  • theres no time to try and prove his identity, he has to start the work day
  • finally he gets to his floor, where Jaehee is working at her desk
  • “assisstant Kang, i will be working in Zen’s body today. please forward my massages”
  • JAEHEE IS AEUFGGKWBEKJNSDVIHSEFN
  • THATS ZENS VOICE
  • but?? is that zen???
  • so upset because he has to reschedule all his meetings for that day
  • “i cant meet with the board looking like this”

707 in Yoosungs body

  • TIME FOR SCHOOL, KIDS
  • he has so much fun being Yoosung
  • hates Yoosung’s laptop so much
  • he misses his high performance laptop
  • finds a planner with Yoosungs class schedule in it
  • Yoosung doodles all over his planner, thats so cute
  • alright, he has to do everything he can with his one day back in college
  • upon entering his first class, he finds they’re taking an exam
  • its calc 2 so he aces it, of course
  • you’re so welcome, Yoosung
  • acts like a total smart ass all day
  • after classes he plays LOLOL for like 6 hours straight
  • Yoosung is literally so lucky to have me inside his body today
  • (lolololololololol)
  • also does all of Yoosungs homework for him
  • thinks to himself all day wow Seven, you’re such a saint

THANKS FOR READING!!!! SORRY FOR PUSHING MY YOOSEVEN AGENDA ALL THE TIME

edit: i love you too
Skulls and Roses ☠️🥀

JUNGKOOK - COLLEGE AU, TATTOOIST AU. 

The best way to get someone’s attention is to get a tattoo or hit someone with your motorcycle. 

PART TWO

Originally posted by sugutie

“Shit, shit, shit, shit.” you sprint across the quad, pushing past students and jumping over bushes and benches like a track star doing hurdles. The chanting of the curse word only gets louder and faster once you looked down at your watch once again and saw that your class would start in less than a minute and you were a mile away from the science building.

You’re too distracted with staring at your watch that you don’t notice that you’re in the middle of the street until your face is touching the rough pavement and some random guy is sprawled beside you. At first, you think that it’s a boulder that had fallen from the mountains that surrounded your campus but when your vision focused on the black lump you realized it was a helmet.

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Context: In our Earthdawn campaign, we were tasked with recovering the scattered pieces of a dismembered god. One was inside a temple in the jungle and as we approached, we discovered an elephant-sized tiger with two faces sleeping outside of it.

Me (elementalist): Well our Scout has Silent walk. I have this spell, Balloons of Mist and I could attach them to everyone and he could just tow us silently past the monster, what do you think?

(No one had a better idea so I proceeded to summon the balloons and prepared to attach them)

Wizard: Wait, wait… what if you attached them to the tiger?

Me: Um… sure, we can try that, but it’s not my fault if it wakes up.

(I roll to see if I can beat the monster’s spell defense and do, despite my history for abominable rolls at crucial moments. It’s a physical monster, it has poor magical resistance. The first balloon doesn’t wake it and I proceed to attach all of my balloons, but it’s not enough to lift it. Our leader also knows elementalism, so he gamely casts more balloons and attaches them. We’re already in it, might as well go all the way)

GM: You attach the final balloon and the monster finally leaves the ground. As it does so, it wakes up, but there is nothing it can do. You watch as it floats up and away over the trees, trumpeting angrily.

Me: You know, our leader’s balloons will last longer than mine, so when mine run out, it won’t even fall to its death, it’ll just float gently to the ground…

Wizard: imagine having THAT come floating down on your campsite.

7 Minutes || Jughead Jones

Originally posted by juptern

word count : 1,225

pairing : Jughead Jones x Reader

warnings : make-outs, cursing, hating each other.

summary : You are friend with Betty and Veronica and they invited you to this party so of course you say yes. you didn’t know you’d end up playing seven minutes in heaven and be stuck in there with someone you hate; Jughead Jones.


     Betty and you had been best friends since you were babies. You were lucky enough to occupy the house right next to hers so you spent countless hours with each other growing up. When Veronica came to Riverdale, the two of you welcomed her with open arms. Of course when Veronica and Betty were fighting you took a neutral stance, or as neutral as you possibly could. You were happy to know when they made up, at least for the most part. Veronica was even throwing some party to finalize it; which is a bit weird but you were just going with it; who could say no to a good party?

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Sniper Lance!

I really love these types of headcanons! Just…anything involving any type of badass Lance. Thank you @plouffe-dans-leau for suggesting this, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to actually get to it.

•Lance pretty much grew up in a gun range.

•his father and uncle were snipers and took Lance to the gun range as a way of bonding.

•turns out Lance is a natural, and his father and uncle teach him everything they know. They can’t help but be proud of their little son/nephew.

•and as the years go by, Lance just keeps getting better. But he also wanted to fight, like his father and uncle.

•so he signs up for the garrison, hoping to learn to be a trained fighter pilot and make his family proud.

•of course than he gets whisked away by a giant robot lion to fight in a galactic war.

•when the bayard turned into a type of rifle, Lance was so happy, but it was very different from what he was used to ( which is a lot! His father made sure to train him in practically every gun he could.) so when no one was using it, which was a lot harder than originally thought, Lance practices with it relentlessly to get a better handle on it.

•and Lance realizes how much he misses his family. On Earth, he knew that he could always call or Skype, even when he would be able to deploy, he still would have some contact.

•but out in space, he can’t even send a letter to them letting him know he’s ok. (Doesn’t stop him from writing them though.)

•when Pidge makes the comment about him not being the sharpshooter, it definitely shakes his confidence. All his life his father and uncle have told him what a sharpshooter he is, how he’s better than some of the men they’ve worked with. But what if thy were just saying that because he was family (they weren’t. They literally think he’s one of the best.) and it slips in with every other insecurity about his position on the team.

•hearing Shiro call him their sharpshooter does lift his spirits, and helps him regain some confidence in his skill.

•the only people who know about Lance’s crazy skills are Hunk and Coran.
•Hunk has known Lance since they were kids so Hunk heard all about Lance’s skills from Lance’s family.
•Coran accidentally walked in on Lance when he was doing a casual long range training, (in other words, Lance was on a very high level on the training deck and kicking ass.)

•but of course, none of the others really believe that Lance is this trained shooter who could probably pin a fly to the wall with a butter knife with precise accuracy. (He’s like crazy good)

•great, now all I can think about is how his uncle wouldn’t just stick with just guns, he would practice with bow and arrows as well, and Lance just knocking them dead with his crazy accuracy. He’s pretty good with throwing daggers as well, but he’s better with bows and guns.

•Lance joined the archery team. Took them all the way to nationals ( is that something archery does? Not exactly sure.)

Wow, this took a completely different turn than I thought. But now just think about how, during a diplomatic mission, they’re challenged by some nobleman of that planet, either to try and discredit them or to distract them and the other nobles from some nefarious plot. And pretty much only one of them can compete in the nobleman’s choice of contest. Archery. Of course Hunk, the pure ray of sunshine that he is, immediately tells Shiro to choice Lance to do this. Shiro is a bit apprehensive about it at first, not sure how well Lance is with a bow like he is with a gun, but he agrees and lets Lance compete, even though there are some nay-sayers(cough cough-Keith and Pidge-cough). Anyways, the contest is that both contestants must start at a certain distance from the target and with each hit, they have to move farther back, first person to miss the target loses. So they get underway, and Lance is just slaying the nobleman, who is starting to struggle. But Lance sees something is off, and immediately puts two and two together, so instead of the next arrow hitting the target, Lance takes out the Assassin trying to take out one of the royal family.(which Is even farther away from the target, Lance got like eagle eyes, nothing gets past him) of course, there is some panic when this happens but once everyone pieces it together, the nobleman is arrested and Lance didn’t just save a planet’s monarchy, he proved to his entire team that he really is their sharpshooter.


Wow, this got way longer than I thought. I just love these au/headcanons so much! So, if you guys have any questions pertaining to this ^ or to any other au’s I have made, or if you want to give me an idea for an au, please feel free to send an ask! I’m always looking for new ideas for au’s! Again, thank you @plouffe-dans-leau for sending the idea!