no one can tell me any differently

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

Types Of Witches

This is a post on the many different types of witches. Due to the fact there are so many different types of them, I probably missed a couple, and this list isn’t complete. You do not have to be only one type of these witches, but can be a multitude of them, and you do not have to feel limited to fit in to any of these. In order for a type of witch to appear on this list someone must be identifying with it. If you are not represented here, or misrepresented here please tell me, and I will change it.

Witch: A witch is a practitioner of witchcraft. There are no other requirements to be a witch besides the act of practicing witchcraft, because of this anyone can be a witch regardless of age, gender, sexuality, race, religion, or any other factor. Witchcraft is defined as the practice of magick primarily but not limited to the practice of thaumaturgy.

Male Witch: Are witches who happened to be males. Though this term is not necessary, because the word witch is already gender neutral.

Baby Witch / Newbie Witch / Witchling: Are witches who are new to the practice, or feel that they are not quite witches yet.

Elemental Witch: Are witches that work with all of the western classic elements. These elements being fire, water, earth, air, and spirit. Some elemental witches choose not to also incorporate the element of spirit.

Fire Witch: Are witches that work with the element of fire, and the energies that it possesses. They would work with things such as candle magick, fire elementals, bonfire rituals, and fire scrying among other things that are related to fire.

Water Witch: Are witches that work with the element of water, and the energies that it possesses. They would work with things such as different types of water, water elementals, and water scrying among other things that are related to water.

Earth Witch: Are witches that work with the element of earth, and the energies that it possesses. They would work with things such as crystal, herbs, rocks, earth elementals, the spirit of the land, and other earth-based things.

Air Witch: Are witches that work with the element of air, and the energies that it possesses. They would work with things such as air elementals, incense, and rhythmic breathing.

Crystal Witch: Are witches that use crystals in their practice. They will practice such things as crystal healing, communicating with crystal spirits, and crystal grids, among other things that has to do with crystals.

Herbal Witch: Are witches that use herbs in their practice. They will usually grow herbs, and will use these herbs in many different ways in order to produce magickal effects such as burning them, turning them into tea, or sprinkling them around places.

Tea Witch: Are witches that use tea in their practice in order to facilitate certain effects through the act of drinking certain teas.

Keep reading

Hospital Jargon (as explained by an American floor nurse)

Writing something that takes place in a hosptial? Consider this list of phrases to add a sense of realism:

HOSPITAL LIFE:

Report/ in report: When one nurse hands their patients off to another

PACU can f*ck right off until 1930, we’re in report.

Sign-Out: When one doctor/resident hands their patients off to another

*returning page* “Are they dying? I’ve barely gotten sign-out here

EPIC- Electronic charting system. Literally any electronic charting system. Does not have to be Hyperspace/supplied by the EPIC corporation to be called this.

Hey, could you put those vitals in EPIC for me since you’re already logged in?

Bed 45/46-2/47-1/48/etc…: how we refer to patients, by their bedspace number, denoted “room-bed”.

Hey Nikki, do you remember what 45-2′s blood sugar was?

Assignment: The patients any one particular medical professional has responsibility for- be they a nurse, doctor, aide, respiratory therapist, physical therapist, etc…

My assignment is rooms 43-45, how about you?

The Board: Where the status of the patients on your floor get listed, including who is to be discharged, who has certain needs, and the day’s expected admissions. Used to be a physical white board, but now is electronic. Usually used to talk about how many patients a floor is about to admit.

“Jeeze, did you see they just put four new patients on our board? We’ve already got 16- call the nursing supervisor.”

Flexed up: Taking more patients than you’re staffed for on a floor

Well, we’re staffed for 15, but they ‘found’ three more bedspaces so they’re flexing us up tonight.

Code/Call a code/They’re coding: A Code Blue. When a patient’s heart stops on The Floor and everyone shows up to practice CPR and transfer them to The Unit.

They’re coding, get a crash cart to 75-2 and call a code blue

Rapid/Call a rapid/Rapid response team: Almost a code, but their heart is still beating. For hospitals who have a separate “Rapid Response” nursing team. Two Crit Care nurses show up and handle things. Also who you call if you and everyone else on your floor can’t get an IV.

They have an INR of 9.5 and the doc doesn’t want to do anything- I’m gonna call a rapid.

Float/they’re floating you: When you don’t have enough patients on your floor so the nursing supervisor sends you to a different, unfamiliar one.

They’re making me float to 9C. Again. Can you believe that??

Full: Can’t take any more patients, either due to physical space or nursing staff.

Tell the nursing supervisor to stop putting patients on our board- we’re full

Clinic: Outpatient. Where you want your patients to be.

Tell them we’ll see them in Clinic in three days. They have no medical need to be here anymore and they know it.

KINDS OF PATIENTS:

Contacts/isolations: Any patients who’s rooms you have to don a gown, gloves, mask, and/or respirator to enter.

Are you sh*tting me? I have five patients today and four of them are isolations.

Frequent flyer- Someone who, for medical or social reasons, just can’t seem to stay out of the hospital

Did you hear Darlene is back?” “Yeah, we’re officially engraving her name on the Frequent Flyer wall of fame

Crump/Crumpy/Crumper: Colloquial term for patients who are medically unstable/at a lower level of care than they need/will be transferred to The Unit when a bed becomes available or when the inevitably code, whichever comes first.

73′s a crumper if I’ve ever seen one. Rapid’s in there working her now.

‘Seeker: Someone in the hospital with their own agenda, but who largely has no medical need to be there and will threaten to sign out AMA (even though they’ve been discharged four times and keep refusing to go) if they don’t get what they want- be it drugs, social interaction, or over-the-top waitressing. Will probably threaten to give a horrible review of the hospital on their social media platform of choice and mention you by name if they don’t get what they want.

49′s a total seeker. When she’s not begging for pain meds, you’re getting her crackers, juice, tea, hot packs, cold packs, everything you could think of. I didn’t sit down all night and my other patients slept pretty much the whole night. Give her some percocet and get her the hell out of here before I have to deal with her again tonight.

Heavy: A patient that takes up a disproportionate amount of your time, but usually for a legitimate reason.

Dr. P’s patients are really heavy. Something’s always going on with them and they have tubes coming out of everywhere that need care of some kind every hour… I had two of his patients today and I’m so tired… could we break up the assignment for the next shift please?

HOSPITAL PLACES:

The Floor: Medical and Surgical floors, sometimes specialty floors- basically anywhere that’s not the ED, Psych, or The Unit. These have higher staffing ratios (more patients per nurse) and lower patient acuity than The Unit

They didn’t really need a bed on the Unit so they were transferred to the Floor

The Unit: The Intensive Care Unit. Where crumpy patients go, comes in the following flavors (though smaller hospitals may have just one): MICU (medical), SICU (surgical), PICU (pediatric), TICU (trauma), NICU (neonatal), NICU (neurological), BICU (burn), and Stepdown (in the days after an ICU discharge).

They weren’t doing so hot, so we called a rapid and had them sent to The Unit.

The ED: The Emergency Department. Oh dear lord it is not called the ER.

They’re sending up that new admit from the ED in like 5 mins, do you have the room ready?

PACU: Post Anesthesia Care Unit, where people are stabilized after surgery.

PACU’s calling again, they’re backing up and need to give report.” 

THE NURSING HIERARCHY:

Director of Nursing: One Nurse to rule them all. Directs all facets of nursing, from training to hiring to staffing to quality improvement.

Nursing Supervisor: One nurse to rule them all… on a given shift. The nursing supervisor assigns patients to nursing units and makes sure everywhere is staffed accordingly.

Nurse Manager: In charge of the general staffing and personnel management of a particular floor, including scheduling, patient satisfaction, staff development, and service recovery.

Charge Nurse/Charge: The “shift manager” of nursing. Has final say on a lot of things you don’t want to be the bad guy on, as well as creating assignments/checking the crash cart, and submitting service requests when the nurse manager isn’t there. Also has a patient assignment.

Staff nurse: The nurses who do assessments, pass meds, start IVs, carry out orders, give updates to doc’s, chart, manage a patient’s day, make sure they get to tests/procedures on time with the right paperwork, and are overall responsible for managing patient care and providing first-line response to issues that arise throughout the shift.

Nurse Aide/Nurse Tech: Provides the majority of basic patient care. Counts intake and output, gets blood sugars and vital signs, sets up rooms for new admits, cleans and clothes patients, gets blood and urine samples, transports patients if necessary. Staff nurses are responsible for this when aides/techs are not available.

Would someone please add the Medical Hierarchy if you know it? I don’t feel I know it well enough to do it justice. Thanks!

2

Do you see any difference between these two gifs, other than the colors and the pixels ? Well, one is made with Flipnote Studio on my Nintendo DSi, and the other one is made with TVPaint.

 I just wanted to post the same animation but with two different programs, to show you guys that an idea can be expressed and understandable through many mediums ! I could draw this in traditional too if I wanted. But why am I posting this ?

 A few days ago, I received a message from a professional animator, telling me that I was wasting my time animating on “that sh*tty program” and that I will “never find a job or earn money” if I continued working like this. It was brutal, and awfully judgemental, especially coming from someone who shares (or is supposed to, at least) the same passion for animation as me. 

 He also told me that he will never follow me or like any of my animations because of the program I use. So, well … I just replied that his behavior was beyond childish, and absolutely unprofessional. I said, “You don’t see the potential of the animations I share there with many people, I put all of my love on them, I work hard and I enjoy making them. Yeah I’m not gaining any money from that hard work, so what? Do you think everybody on the internet shares their work only for profit?”

 I took some time to think about it. It hurt me a little but then I remembered that so many of you follow me, give me great feedback, and heartwarming comments, even if I don’t draw on the BEST programs ever! I mean, just because someone draws on Paint Tool SAI instead of Photoshop, it doesn’t mean that their art sucks!  

 I learned a lot with Flipnote Studio and thats why I still use it to animate, and you can see that I can animate with many colors too (I wanted to show you later as a surprise but well, now you know) and I will be able to teach you things about TVPaint if you want now. Remember, my friends: an artist is someone who has the capacity to share emotions and messages through the art they are creating; no matter what medium or program you use for it, if it’s understandable you’re doing it right! 

 I hope this will help some of you who are working on less well-known programs and had some jerk telling them that it was bad. I’m glad to see that young animators, artists & people who are not creators at all saw the hard work in my animations, and pushed me up ! I love you all, and I will continue to work hard for you, to share my huge passion of animation with you and make you smile as always ! Merci tout le monde !

suddenly everyone’s asking for suggestions I kinda love yall for being so open minded??? okay bb idk how you’re not a shinee stan yet, but I’m gonna turn you over to the dark side so grab a snack and take a seat and let’s start~~


Meet: SHINee aka the group that saved kpop

Originally posted by sataeminism

• A 5 member group who debuted in 2008 under SM Ent. with their legendary song, Replay (I still cry when I listen to it esp with RDD right after)
• they’ve said many times that business comes before their personal friendships with each other, and we all believe this is why they’ve stuck together for so long and had an amazing career so far
• some members have gotten in fights during their rookie years, but ofc now you can tell they’re basically like family to each other and they’re each others biggest fans
• the members are all amazing actors, songwriters, producers, and singers and all are hella multi-talented


Meet: Onew aka grandpa Jinki

Originally posted by duevangogh

• oldest, the chillest yet most savage leader
• almost killed Jonghyun once when he flung a pen at his eye, he was aiming for Minho
• such a great actor wow
• has the most beautiful and breathtaking smile you can almost hear your heart breaking when he does it, esp when they perform 1 of 1
• he’s legit so chill and laid back and lets his grandkids roast each other, but he’ll come for you if you disrespect him or any of them
• he’s enlisting in the military soon, pls pray for him and support him


Meet: Jonghyun aka the misfortunes of bling bling

Originally posted by partycardigann

• probably the most pervy and sexual idol out there (ye I know yall seen that video on him n taemin tsk tsk tsk me 2)
• but he’s actually a puppy who’s been let off the leash??? Like he’s a sweetheart
• is in love with key and he’s their biggest shipper
• wrote so many sexual songs and gave them to EXO and Taemin “here u go I have like another 27 songs stashed under my pillow, u go sing about being a playboy”
• almost died krumping bc Minho sprayed the whole floor with water whole jjong was jumping
• is SHINee’s biggest fanboy and he’s an actual sunshine (he’s the shortest too but I don’t wanna point that out bc he’s butthurt about it shh)


Meet: Key aka wtf are u wearing u shady binch 

Originally posted by celes-tae

•  yall better not miss any of his instagram lives bc that’s when he’s about to spill all the tea on everyone
•  loves makeup n fashion n himself n his dogs <3 actual queen of beauty skin care and shading everyone
•  he’s a great actor as well, and it’s like he’s even more savage when the rest of shinee isn’t around and he’s doing solo stuff
•  his vocal range is actually amazing and we’ll fight anyone who thinks he’s not as talented as the others
•  supposedly he made out with Jonghyun while he was drunk one time, I ??? 
•  babys taemin like he’s 2 yrs old, he used to be so protective of him and he still is and I’m a mess


Meet: Minho aka flaming charisma

Originally posted by manwalage

• the most competitive idol and no one can tell me any different
• a soccer superstar, his dad is a coach too…and he blesses us with so many sports campaigns and CF’s (well he’s like one of the top models in Korea rn too just throwin that out there)
• it really hurts me when people say he only got into shinee for his looks
• he’s so talented and takes his career and the group very seriously, despite him being competitive sometimes, he’s really mature and every kpop group who matters look up to him
• will diss you and burn a hole through ur head if you insult him
• what’s image??? What’s reputation???? Shinee knows no limits, their mission is to expose everyone


Meet: Taemin aka SHINee’s actual baby

Originally posted by herewegobebe

• he’s not actually innocent bruh don’t let his face fool you…but then again he’s a real angel sometimes
• shinee lets him get away with roasting them bc he’s their son n they love him (plus he never talks or opens his mouth unless he’s about to expose someone)
• he gets shy and nervous very easily and he’s mentioned that sometimes he has bad anxiety when promoting alone for his solos
• has been besties with EXO’s Kai for like 12 years and they love each other so much it hurts (pls watch their Pretty Boy performance I beg u)
• shinee used to walk him 2 school everyday bc he was bullied
• everyone in the industry who’s passionate about dancing looks up to him bc he’s such an amazing performer, he puts his heart n soul into every dance and performance I actually am in love with this man help me I can’t get up
(I’m sorry I wrote so much about him abshdjdk I could write essays about why I love him)


they were the group that got me into kpop in the first place with RDD and they’ll always have a special place in my heart, pls love them<3

We Need To Talk About Ramona Blue:

TO EVERYONE WHO GAVE THIS BOOK ONE STAR WITHOUT READING IT:

First off, know that I am not going away. I am going to stand here and scream this from the rooftops as many times as I have to. Because I am tired of my voice and my story being drowned out. This book tells my story. If I get even one person to at least consider they might be wrong, if even one person buys this book because of me, then I’ve made a difference. 

I respect your opinion and based off of the original synopsis I completely understand why you felt that way - indeed I agree with you. I understand why the initial synopsis made you angry, really I do. The b.s. trope that lesbians (or any LGBT+ girl) can be ‘cured’ by finding the right boy is not just offensive and incorrect, but incredibly, incredibly harmful. And when it’s used as much as it is, it leads to people in the real world justifying their homophobic thoughts with - “I can f**k that girl, she’s secretly straight anyway. I can make her change her mind. She just needs the right guy.” Corrective rape is a very real danger and one that is directly impacted by words like those in that synopsis.

But this isn’t what the book is about. When the author, Julie Murphy @andimjulie, was informed of how offensive and harmful the synopsis/blurb was she started arranging to have it changed. Because here’s the thing: authors don’t get to write those. Some random person at the publishing house does. It’s that random person that made the harmful words and who misunderstood the book.

The new synopsis is up on this goodreads page now  . Please read it and maybe consider changing or removing your rating?

Because this book isn’t about 'lesbians can be cured.’ This book is about bisexual girls, girls just like me, who grow up not knowing that they are bi. Believing that because they like girls they must therefore be lesbians or because they like boys they must therefore be straight. I’m the latter; in this heteronormative world I spent years believing I was straight before I realised.

This book is for all the girls like me who think they fit into one box because they like someone and then one day, realise they have feelings for a different gender. It is about how confusing and scary and downright terrifying that is. It is about lying awake all night thinking “but does liking this boy mean i was straight all along?” “do i actually like him or is it because i’m supposed to?” it’s about worrying that you can’t change your identity because people already know you as a 'lesbian.’ Worrying that you’re just attention seeking or greedy or unable to make up your mind, that you’re on the fence and you need to choose.

This book is about the moment of relief when you finally find the name that suits you - bisexual. Or, perhaps when you decide that it’s okay to not know for sure right now. And how much weight is taken off you once you know who you are, and you have an identity.

I haven’t read the book yet but the new revised synopsis reflects that the book will actually be about those topics. You’re punishing the author for what someone else misunderstood and wrote as a harmful piece of promotion. Notice how different (and not harmful) the synopsis is now that it’s been written with the author’s suggestions instead of just by some dude? That to me suggests that the book itself, written entirely by her, will be much more like the new synopsis than the old one.

Oh, and you will also notice that I mentioned I haven’t read the book yet. So how then, you wonder, am I able to sit here and say that the book will be about all of the things above?

Because I am that girl. I went through all of those things. Mine was vice versa to Ramona - I believed that I had to be straight because I liked boys and if you like boys that’s all you can be right? Wrong. It was so, so hard for me to figure out who I am, where my place in this world is. It took me four years to get where I am (I’m 18 now). And I still haven’t finished this journey - my parents don’t know. I know, from reading this new synopsis, that that is what this book is about because I have lived it. I know because the author is bisexual, married to a man - she has lived it too.

Tumblr I just don’t get it. We cry and cry for more representation but when you have it you destroy it’s chances with negative reviews before it’s even begun. All because it’s the “wrong sort” of representation. You don’t want this bi girls story, my true story, because it shows that sometimes girls who like girls also like boys. Not always but sometimes. And sometimes we end up with those boys. 

Please, buy this book. Promote this book, please at least undo this low rating until you have read it. This book could have saved me so much heartache when I was fourteen. It could have let me know that I was not alone. It could have saved me six months of self-harm, an emotionally abusive relationship, bullying for being 'frigid.’

I didn’t have this book when I was facing all those things. But the next bi or pan girl could. We could save them.

Representation is important. Lesbian representation and positive, good representation at that, is important. But so is bi girl representation. And this book just happens to be one for the bi girls. This doesn’t have to be either or, bi girls existing doesn’t mean that lesbians do not. Please, let’s not harm each other’s chance at representation. Let’s support each other.

Please, at least let’s read this book before we give it a rating. Please help the next girl like me before she is hurt.

Let me tell you something about power imbalances

Since the Otayuri-discourse is getting really annoying, I would like to tell you something. Power imbalances can have an effect on every relationship. Romantic as well as platonic. A power imbalance can turn into an unhealthy relationship of any kind. But there is one thing, that everyone seems to ignore: A power imbalance itself does not cause abusive behavior. On its own its neither good nor bad. Its the way it is used, that makes the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationship.

A power imbalance is like a “tool”. It can be used by an abuser to take advantage of its victim. The abusers keep themselves on the higher level to maintain the imbalance. This can lead to physical and emotional abuse. The abuser can easily pressure the victim into doing things that they aren’t comfortable with. For example: Older friends pressuring the younger one into drinking alcohol/older lover pressuring younger to have sex despite them not being ready for it. And this is obviously a horrible thing.

But a power imbalance can also have a positive effect. In a healthy relationship the more powerful part tries to minimize the imbalance. They don’t see the other on as lower. They want to be on an equal level. The imbalance can be used to help the younger one grow, while also making sure that they are safe don’t go over their limits. It can be reassuring to have someone more experienced that can help you in life and share their experiences. One great example for a healthy relationship with a power imbalance in the beginning is a ship you all love: Victuuri!

At the start of the show Yuuri is a loner. He doesnt have many friends and the only thing he really cares for is skating (and Victor of course). He has huge anxiety and really lacks in confidence. He idolizes Victor and therefore sees him as above him.  Also, Yuuris love life before Victor is pretty much non existent and he just becomes a blushing mess at the mere mention of eros. On the other hand we have Victor “Sexiest-Man-Alive” Nikiforov. He is way more experienced and confident than Yuuri and has had a few relationships in the past. All this puts a huge imbalance on Victors side. We see this in the beginning, when Victor was really pushy, thinking Yuuri was still as confident and flirty as he was at the banquet, making Yuuri feel visibly uncomfortable. When Victor sees this, he tones down the flirting to keep it at a pace that Yuuri can comfortably move along with. We see Victor helping Yuuri becoming more confident in his abilities and more comfortable with his sexuality. Victor used the power imbalance to turn the idol-fan-relationship into a loving relationship between two equals.

This concludes, that a power imbalance itself does not automatically make a relationship bad. Its the mindset of the more powerful person, that determines if this imbalance can be healthy or not.

Now lets talk about Otayuri!

First of all, Yuri is not the pure, innocent, little child, that needs to be sheltered from everything, that you all seem to think he is. We are talking about the “kid” who wanted to skate to eros, because he thought it would fit him better. The kid who watched Yuuri and Chris pole dancing and kept tons of photos of it. The kid who told Mila to stop acting horny after breaking up with her boyfriend. Most 15/16 years old boys are not innocent angels…  Also, Yuri is actually quite mature for his age. Yuri moved away from his home to St. Petersburg when he was around 10 years old. He is the main provider for his family since his junior debut. Growing up away from home, with this high responsibilities makes you mature faster. He committed his life to figure skating. He had the determination and disciplin to win GPF gold on his senior debut. This level of dedication, endless training, without complaining, to work towards a goal, is a sign of maturity. Sure, sometimes he acts childish and on impulse, but so does Victor, the guy who pauses his career for a year, travels to Japan and suddenly shows up naked at a hot spring, because of his crush on a drunk Yuuri.

We have seen Otabek and Yuri both supporting and admiring each other. We see Otabek helping Yuri to grow. Yuri doesnt act like an angry brat with him. He is much calmer and happier around him.  Kubo even said that Otabek sees them as equals. There is only a small power imbalance between them. Its even smaller than between Victor and Yuuri. And since their relationship is based on mutual respect and support, and Otabek wants them to be equal, there is not even the slightest hint, why this relationship would be abusive in any way. To me this looks like the perfect base for a healthy relationship. So what makes you think that Otabek would be a predator? What makes you think he would take advantage of him? Why would he harm Yuri? This is what bothers me the most about this discourse. By saying this ship would be unhealthy , disgusting and bad, you are accusing Otabek of being an abusive asshole. And this magnificent, loving character does not deserve this hate.

This post is obviously not meant to say that all relationships with age differences are totally ok. This is meant to explain, that it is not always automatically bad. There are many unhealthy relationships where both people are the same age or where the abuser is the younger one. Age alone is not what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy. The mindset of the individual person is!

therapist: so tell me about yourself

me: you need to know before any of this that i am extraordinarily self-aware and have been dealing with this on my own for more than a decade so probably won’t respond well to traditional therapy techniques as i’ve tried pretty much everything that you can find on the internet for a long enough time to build up a tolerance for it all so you might have to work harder

therapist: alright then i’m going to suggest something a little different, you might have heard of this one but maybe give it a shot… it’s called…. “mindfulness”

me: alright so we have 45 minutes still but i’m just gonna go ahead and leave now.

How can I tell if I’m awake or dreaming?

I did a post earlier about waking up extremely dissociated from a nightmare and being unable to tell if I was awake or not, it got a lot of notes so I figure I make a small list of things that help me tell if I’m awake or not. 

So a little context - at one point I had tried lucid dreaming (big mistake) because I would wake up from one dream, and be in another dream. Full blown inception mode, waking up several times into a different dream and being unable to tell what was real. Eventually it went away on it’s own, but it didn’t make it any less scary. 

  • Look at your hands and feet. When I used to lucid dream, I would do reality checks. These reality checks can be applied even if you aren’t lucid dreaming - things like your fingers (the number of your fingers), your palms (the details of your palm prints / finger prints), your nails (size of your nails, condition), they don’t translate over when you’re in a dream. It’s why another reality check is looking at a clock, because the hands of the clock and the ticking are another set of details that won’t add up in a dream. You might not be able to see your hands in a dream, or the time on the clock won’t be visible. 
  • Temperature. Just like breaking yourself out of a dissociative episode, feeling a change in temperature can indicate whether or not you’re awake or not.  Make yourself a cup of hot water, or a cup of hot coffee - now set it on the counter and go watch a video, let yourself get absorbed in that video. All done? Now go back to the drink. If the video you watched was all of 4mins long, but your coffee/water is ice cold, it could indicate you’re dreaming. Things like temperature change during dreams in an illogical manner, or sometimes aren’t evident at all in the world. 
  • Taste test. Carbonated drinks, vinegar, mint, things with a strong taste can help your body wake up in a sense - you might be feeling numb so a blast of flavor might be able to get your gears rolling and help you realize you’re awake. Activating your five senses is also a good idea - smell those old socks, feel the pages of that book, trace the outlines of grass in the yard with your finger. 
  • Story Focus. In dreams the focus of the story tends to move and shift around a lot, you know, you’re in the store one second but the next thing you know you’re at school failing a math test. If you’ve got your phone or a watch on you, it’s time to set a fifteen minute alarm. In fifteen minutes if your viewpoint, the things happening around you, haven’t had an unexplained shift in environment/story, you’re awake. The alarm will go off, and you can keep resetting that alarm. 
  • Social Media. Go watch the news, like I said before, fine details have a hard time translating in dreams, and sometimes seeing current day events where the date / time / weather is repeated by the spokesperson can help reaffirm that you’re awake. 

In all, just remember to remain calm - in a dream, you are safe. In the event that you aren’t safe in your dream, that’s okay! Because it means you’ll wake up. If you’re awake and you can’t tell if you’re awake, you’re still safe. Because you wouldn’t do anything to put yourself in harms way. Asking yourself is this logical can also be reassuring - logical things don’t always happen in a dream, and it’s up to you to be able to notice them. These things can take practice, but rest assured it’s better to be doing something then not doing anything at all :) 

Elizabeth Swann is easily one of the very top few fictional characters I consider a role model alright.

And if you think about it, she was more of a pirate than Will Turner like the movies led us to believe.

She was resourceful as all hell. Almost the exact same to Jack, but with some differences. While jack had the ability to see things 10 steps ahead and make fully thought out plans and be able to just watch everything fall into place, Elizabeth had the ability to adapt and evolve with new obstacles. She could maneuver situations in ways that almost no other character could. She even outplayed Jack fucking Sparrow. On more than one occasion if I might add.

She was well educated. And not like with maths and sciences and philosophy and shit like that. I mean educated in the way that she understood exactly how others thought and how they were most likely to act, and played them accordingly. She had educated herself on the pirates code well before even thinking of setting foot on a pirate vessel, and knew it well enough to save her neck or someone else more than once.

Now on to the more “pirate-like” shit.

She didn’t originally know sword fighting, but in the first movie she goes to grab a decorative sword off the wall in her manor (which doesn’t work, for comedies sake, but moving on) with the intention of fighting the pirates ransacking her home. Not run, like literally everyone else in the manor, but actually fight. Two men versus one untrained woman I might add. What a queen. But during the second movie we learn that Will taught her the art of sword fighting. And she very clearly was an excellent student, for throughout the next two movies we see her go toe-to-toe with several badass and notorious pirates, and easily hold her own. And if she didn’t have access to a sword, she made do and made a weapon out of whatever was near her at the time.

When her wedding got crashed and she and Will arrested, Will was told to find Jack in order to gain them both freedom again, and so he set off to do so. Elizabeth on the other hand, with some assistance, was able to escape prison, and then proceeded to hold the man who arrested them at gunpoint until he gave her signed and sealed papers containing the pardon they needed.

She also later figured out that the Kracken was really after jack, and knowing he wouldn’t give himself up for the good of the others, she kissed him long enough as a distraction at the last minute to handcuff him to the mast, effectively becoming the only person to be able to kill Jack Sparrow.

She also knew the power of carefully made lies and crafted deception. She knew being a woman could get her certain places and certain perks, so she made it work in her favor. She knew the same but with being a man, so she figured out how to also make that work in her favor. She was mistake for a feared sea goddess, and instead of denying it, she rolled with it knowing it would be to her benefit. Which it did, considering it then aided in her achieving the status as captain of a pirate ship later on, and in effect earning her a place as a Pirate Lord. And then was voted in as the Pirate King.

She used every piece of knowledge and tools accessible to her as intelligently as she could. She crafted lies and deceptions to work to the advantage of herself and/or her companions. And she never apologized for these actions or for being anyone but herself.

Will thought and planned more in reference to his heart or sometimes rash feelings. Elizabeth was an analyzer and thought and planned through both logic and impeccable gut feeling.

Elizabeth Swann was one of the best pirates in this whole series, and no one can tell me any different.

Welcome to the Freak Show

Characters: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader

Length: 1564+ words

TW: Abandonment 

A/N: This is for @winchesters-favorite-girl​‘s 31 Days of Halloween Challenge! Thank you for letting me join your challenge, and I hope you enjoy this one! I had more ideas for this fic, but I didn’t have time to write it 😔

A/N 2: I would like to thank @dreamin-of-somewhere-else​ for being my Beta!! Gosh, she’s so awesome! This fic couldn’t have been written without her (seriously). She was such a great help in making this fic decent! Thanks for putting up with me, love! I really appreciate all your help! 

Prompt: Freak Show

Feedback is appreciated (AND SO ARE YOU)!


Sam Winchester was dead.

The two remaining Winchesters stayed silent as they drove back to the motel, their brother laying down in the backseat. They packed their stuff, planning to go to Bobby’s place. Y/N went to the bathroom before making the long trip, but once she came out, Dean was holding her duffel bag out to her.

“Leave,” he instructed. His voice cold and emotionless, and unlike anything she’s ever heard. No matter what, Dean always spoke to her in a gentle tone, even when training her. He’s never even raised his voice at her unless he was worried about her well-being. This wasn’t the older brother she knew, and honestly, she was scared. Her heart was beating twice as fast, and her palms were getting sweaty.

Her eyes widened, mouth agape. “D-Dee?”

“You need to leave.” Dean harshly glared at his younger sister, jaw clenched tightly.

“B-But why?” she whimpered, taking a step towards her older brother.

“Because I said so!”

“This isn’t you, Dean-”

“This was your fault. You messed up. You didn’t do enough research, and got Sam killed. You’re not cut out to be a hunter, and I can’t have you staying with us, and endangering our lives.”

“But, Dean-” His words cut deep. He knew how self-conscious she was about her abilities. She willingly sat out on hunts if she had the slightest inkling that she may not be able to perform her best. After all, when it comes to hunting, mistakes could be deadly.

“Leave!” he roared. He grabbed her elbow, pushing her out the door, and throwing her duffel bag at her feet. He slammed the door as she scrambled to get back on her feet.

“DEAN!” Y/N pounded at the door, shouting for him to let her in, tears streaming down her face. Finally, Dean came out. He didn’t even spare her a glance as he walked to the Impala. He ignored her pleas, following him to the car. She tried grabbing his arm, but he shook her off, finally pushing her to the ground as he went into his car. Y/N watched as he turned on the engine, and drove off.

The eldest Winchester clenched his jaw so tightly it was starting to ache. He didn’t dare look at his rear-view mirror, afraid his resolution would waver at the sight of his youngest sibling. This is what he had to do. He tried ignoring the tear that escaped his eye as he drove to the closest cross-road.

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Religion is Complicated

gif is not mine

Title: Religion is Complicated

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader

Word Count: 1,583

Warnings: angst, and small amounts of fluff

A/N: This was requested by an anon! I hope you all enjoy Satan Sunday <3 <3 Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much! <3

The rain pelted your clothes as you sat on the curb outside your house.  You weren’t sure where you were going to go.  Your family had always been strict with their religion and their rules.  You didn’t mean to upset them with your opinion.  Apparently having an opinion was earned in your home.  You realized this a little too late.

Tears streamed down your face as you sat in the rain.  It didn’t matter what happened, you now had nowhere to live, nowhere to eat, and nowhere to bathe.  This had to be one of the worst days of your life.

“Religion can be so complicated,” an unfamiliar voice uttered, as a tall man towered over you.  His hair was blond and his eyes were blue.  He was wearing jeans and a brown shirt with a green over shirt on top of it.  “I broke too many rules once.  My father kicked me out too.”

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touraybinta  asked:

Hey, i'm trying to be confident with myself but what's really throwing me off is my acne. I'm 16 years old and i know it's puberty but can you help? I get a new one almost everyday and have a lot of clogged pores and acne scars. i drink water, exfoliate and wash my face twice a day. Nothing seems to help. I get a lot on my nose and clogged pores on my forehead and chin. recently i've started getting some on my cheeks. Do you have any tips on getting rid of clogged pores and acne scaring?

Okay I feel you because I use to be you. I can’t really help you bc everyone’s skin is different but I’ll tell you what has worked for me:
• I realized my skin was not oily just dehydrated so no harsh cleansers and I washed my face less and with colder water
•you are what you eat. Get your daily vitamins and cut down on hot cheetos
• sun screen is gold
•black african soap is something thank the Lord for
• acv toner is good to balance ph of your skin
•which hazel rose water toner has cured me
•MOISTURIZE HOLY SHIT •exfoliate once a week
•topical spot treatments will never compare to diluted tea tree oil
• don’t exfoliate more than 3x a week
• 8 hours of sleep will transform you
• mild exercise won’t kill you
•clean your pillow case and wipe your phone
•tie your hair out of your face
•TAKE YOUR MAKEUP OFF
•but seriously
•do a mask once a week
•vitamin c serum but never without sunscreen
•be open to new products but do your research and remember everyone’s skin is different
•your skin is an organ, please be kind to it

Supercorp First Kiss (ft. coming out, apologizing, & gossipy CatCo)

“That ending scene of Kara and Lena but instead of a hug they kiss” prompt from @katiemcgraffs and “can you do a Supercorp one where kara actually fcking tells lena the truth and why she left bc she’s supergirl. because I thought that was going to happen when kara came to apologize” from @cicinicole-14 and “also can we have a supergirl coming out to lena scene like its about time” from @thebiwisebrownkid and “A scene where Kara and Lena don’t center around animosity and/or M*n-El? Thank you if you get around to it!” from @mara-miles


“You don’t have to hide from me, Kara,” Lena tells her, and all Kara wants to do is run.

More specifically, fly.

Because she has been lying to her.

And it’s like Lena said – she grew up in a house with the most deceptive people in the world – and her heart is so big and her spirit is so kind – somehow, somehow – and it’s because of that that Kara refuses to break her.

Refuses to tell her that her best friend – her only friend – has built their entire relationship, fundamentally, on a lie.

And she’s been pushing Lena away – she’s been pushing everyone away – but Lena still says she misses her. Over and over. Lena still… wants her.

No, not like… not like that.

That would be too much to hope for.

But Lena still seems to care about her, and if she doesn’t keep… hiding from her… she’ll tear all that away from Lena. From them both. 

And if she seems broken now… losing Lena will just…

She can’t imagine it.

She refuses to.

So Lena tells her she doesn’t have to hide from her, but Rao, yes she does.

So she snaps. She tosses her pen down and she stands and she snaps, because snapping once is better than breaking Lena – breaking them – entirely.

And she hates herself for it.

For the way Lena’s eyes shutter closed. For the way her throat constricts and her voice hardens. 

The way she stops leaning on her desk and the oh-so-composed way she holds herself, given away only by the tears in her eyes, her arms crossed across her chest.

With her mask firmly in place.

And it’s only fair, Kara supposes; her mask may be glasses-thin, but it’s light-years deep. It’s only fair, isn’t it, that Lena gets to put her guard up, her CEO, friendless, spectacular mode firmly in place.

Kara deserves it, and Lena deserves to be protected.

From her.

She still hates herself for it, for every curt word that comes out of Lena’s mouth, for every soft but efficient syllable and every breath she takes that her lips aren’t…

Kara forces herself to stop thinking about it. About Lena.

To stop thinking, period.

She doesn’t realize she’s wrong – to push Lena away, to think she’s better off without Kara, to think she herself is better off without the people she cares about, the people she… – until Alex.

Until she lets Alex hold her and soothe her and remind her that maybe, just maybe, she’s worthy of being loved.

So she lets her heart race wildly, and she fidgets. She fidgets because this is a conversation about Lena’s source at the bank, but it’s also a conversation about so much more.

So she fidgets, but not with her glasses – because her glasses, right now, might just give her another panic attack – and she stumbles over her words, and she looks away, because she can’t bear to see any pain in Lena’s eyes for one more moment.

She has to tell her. To explain. 

Because Lena deserves her truth. Lena deserves her trust. 

She doesn’t deserve to continue to be surrounded by people who claim to care for her, claim to… to love her… but who, really, are the most deceptive people on the planet.

Kara won’t deceive her anymore.

Lena doesn’t deserve it.

So she fidgets and she tries to breathe and she reminds herself that Lena, like Alex, has called her – Kara, not Supergirl – her favorite.

She lets the thought buoy her, and she tries to speak.

“Um… I need to apologize about my behavior… earlier. You’re right.” Her voice cracks and Lena’s arms are still folded across her chest and every moment Kara isn’t holding her is killing her, but she doesn’t deserve to hold her.

Not yet, not yet.

Possibly not ever.

“I… have a lot more baggage with… everything that’s been going on… than I previously… thought.”

She hears Lena’s heart racing and she wishes she couldn’t.

But her own heart races when Lena starts to smile, when she tells her that she was a good friend and a great boss. 

“But Lena, the reason… the reason all this baggage has been weighing on me so heavily… you don’t deserve to be deceived, not anymore. And I’m sorry I haven’t told you for this long, but I… Lena, I…”

She looks up at her, finally, and she hears Lena’s heart skip a beat. Several beats. She gulps.

She looks around at the mostly empty office and she holds her breath and she takes off her glasses.

“Being a reporter… isn’t my only job,” she says so softly she’s worried Lena won’t hear it, that she’ll have to say it again.

But Lena hears every word.

And to Kara’s surprise, she laughs.

“Oh, Kara, you… you think I didn’t know? How could I not? I’m on the phone with you, and suddenly I’m falling off my balcony, and suddenly you’re there to catch me? Darling, as fast as you can fly, a phone call from Kara Danvers to a completely different person couldn’t possibly have gone through that quickly.”

Kara stammers and she stumbles and she can’t think of any words, in either English or Kryptonian. 

Except one.

“D…darling?” she asks, and she hopes Lena doesn’t hear how her voice squeaks.

But the way she bites her lip and steps slightly closer tells her that she did hear it. And that she liked it.

Her eyes are shining with tears again, but they’re hopeful, not hurt, this time.

“Honestly I’d like to kiss you right now, but I’m afraid it would show… favoritism,” she tells her conspiratorially, nervously. Adorably.

Kara gulps and still can’t remember how to speak.

So she lets her body do the talking for her.

She takes Lena’s face between her hands, and gently, gently, gently, she brings their lips together.

They inhale each other’s breath and Lena’s body swoons into Kara’s.

Lena parts her lips and Kara brushes her tongue against Lena’s bottom lip.

“Ms. Luthor?” 

“Ms. Teschmacher!” Lena startles away from kissing Kara, but stays in her arms.

“I’m… I’m sorry to… interrupt,” Eve stammers, eyes wide like she just won the latest office pool.

Because she did.

“It’s just… Samantha Arias is here for you.”

“Of course,” Lena pulls away from Kara reluctantly, pushing Kara’s glasses tenderly back onto her face before she turns around, regarding her with raw adoration in her eyes. “Sam, I’m so glad you made it. Kara, I’ve wanted to introduce you two.”

Sam grins somewhat dazedly at the bright red tinge of Kara’s face, at the irrepressible smile on Lena’s face.

“Oh, and Ms. Teschmacher, Ms. Danvers and I will be needing an appointment with Jim in HR in the morning,” Lena calls before Eve even finishes her text to the entire office that it’s finally happened, and she saw it with her own eyes.

They don’t speak on their way out of the building, because their hands do the talking for them, their fingers interlaced as Kara starts to float.

Happy Pride!

This year, I’ve learned a lot about what compulsory heterosexuality really looks like. I’ve seen friends and family become more attentive, encouraging, and interactive with me when I tried to date a man one more time after feeling as though I’d never achieve any “happily ever after” if it wasn’t with a partner of opposite sex. I’ve learned that even when you know who you are, social pressure can do a hell of a job to convince you that you’re not what you think or that you’d be better off being different. 

It took me twenty-four years to tell anyone that I was gay. And the three years since have been tumultuous. I’ve doubted myself so many times I couldn’t count or remember all of them. I’ve come face to face with reminders of what the closet is and how homophobia reinforces that closet, even in people we hold most dear. I’ve been reminded why the family I’m choosing is the best family I could ever know, the ones who have sat through nights of seemingly endless toil as countless questions of self-doubt roll in like the tides, “Am I a woman? Can I call myself a lesbian? What if I’m pansexual? What’s wrong with me? Don’t I ever get to be happy? Why do they only come around when I’m acting straight? I think I might be on the ace spectrum?” 

And they showed me time after time what it means to be an ally. Why we call these spaces a community, a family. 

You want to know what the beautiful thing is about this family? We build movements with love. Love is our weapon, and it makes us the best family in the world. We encourage, we uplift, we accept, we communicate, we listen… we never give up on each other. Sure, we have our problems and our dysfunctions like any family. We have our disagreements. But at the end of the day, we stick together. If someone comes for one of us, we all fight back as one voice and one force. 

It’s been the privilege of my life to find my own place and my own voice in this family. The past year has seen evolving knowledge and understanding of what it means to be LGBTQ+ and how we engage that on a daily basis and occupy our spaces as a united front in a climate of expanding tensions. I am honored to know, love, befriend, and live life with some of the most brave and beautiful people in the world. They are my friends, they are my family, they are my peers– my brothers and sisters and the beat of my heart, and I will spend the rest of my life fighting for our every right to exist and breathe free air away from fear and discrimination.

This year’s Pride will be one of many experiences. We will celebrate what we have earned through ages of struggle, we will celebrate how we love and live, we will make memories and friendships and maybe even forge lasting love. We will remember those we have lost in this struggle– to disease, to bigotry, to ignorance, to violence. We will stand -as we always do- under the rainbow banner that whispers the promises of those who have blazed the trail before us and taught us how to be brave, these whispers that echo back through years: You are welcome here. Here, you are safe. In this place, you are loved. With us, you are free to breathe and just be. 

So! With that said, I would officially like to welcome everyone and wish you the happiest and most love-filled Pride Month!

Originally posted by clinicallymoi

A Ghost Can't Hurt the Living

There are a lot of misconceptions about ghosts. It’s mostly thanks to Hollywood; if you watch enough movies, they’ll have you checking over your shoulder for vengeful spirits waiting to snap your neck or drag you to hell or whatever chintzy bullshit gets churned out that Halloween.

The truth is that Ghosts can’t ever hurt the living. Hell, they can’t even touch us. You can trust me on this; old Peter Menaker has been following me around for about fifteen years now, and he’s never laid a hand on me. He’s made it abundantly clear the handful of times he’s actually said a word to me. Mostly though, he just follows me around, drifting in and out of my life with the occasional reminder that he’s there.

That’s all a Ghost can do to you, actually. Just lurk around the corners of your eye, occasionally stepping to the forefront of your vision before disappearing back into the shadows. No one else is ever able to see or hear them, so eventually you just learn to live with it. That’s what I’ve done, at least. I’ve gotten older, landed my dream job, found a wife who loves me, and I’ve even had a son last year. It’s amazing how it’s all worked out, really. I’m a world away from where I was that night when I was seventeen, driving back from my teammates house after a few too many drinks and I heard that sickening thump as I cut a corner a bit too hard. I slammed the brakes and rushed out my car, and that’s when I saw Mr. Menaker sprawled out there in the middle of the road, legs pointing the wrong way and blood seeping out of his mouth. He sputtered something about calling an ambulance, but just looking at him I was sure he wouldn’t make it before they arrived; I guess I was right, but I didn’t stick around to find out.

Obviously, I’m not proud of that night. There isn’t a single day I don’t regret it, and don’t hate myself for what I did. But like I said, I’ve grown since then. I’ve become a new person; a better person. I wish I could change the past, but since I can’t, what good does living in it do anyone?

That’s what I tell myself, at least. And Peter too, though it’s never done me any good. I’ve tried to explain myself to him as often as I can, but it’s never made an ounce of difference to him. He always just stands there, silent, resolute, and waiting.

A Ghost can never hurt the living. But no one lives forever, and a Ghost is nothing if not patient.

Treat You Better | Peter Parker

Summary: Based on the song Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes (duh. You could figure that out by just reading the title.) Peter Parker has had a crush on the reader since the beginning of middle school but the reader already has a boyfriend who, if you can’t tell by the title, treats her like crap. One night, Peter decided the reader’s boyfriend has gone too far…

Warning: LANGUAGE AND (SOME) ABUSIVE CONTENT!

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Type: Song Inspired Oneshot

Requested: anonymously 

MASTERLIST

A/N: Wrote this up quicker than I thought. Hope everyone enjoys it!


Originally posted by sexy-stan

Peter Parker’s Point of View:

I knew. I knew from the very moment my eyes fell on Y/N, I knew I was a goner. It had only taken me a week to realize that I was head over heels for a girl I didn’t even know. All I knew about her was that she went to my school, she was in my history class, and that I was already madly in love with her.

I don’t know. Maybe it was the way her hair flowed aimlessly over her shoulders, or the way her eyes twinkled in the sunlight. Or maybe the way her lips curved into the perfect smile, that would just melt my heart. The way she aced every class effortlessly or made everyone around her smile and laugh. This girl was perfect. There was only one problem:

She had a boyfriend.

The two had met her first year of high school. She was a freshmen and he was a sophomore. The two were complete opposites but everyone encouraged them for their relationship to take place, saying: “Opposites attract.”

Let me tell you something. That is not always the case. These two were so different. They were fire and ice, darkness vs light, cold vs hot, day vs night, water and oil. They just didn’t seem like a fitting couple.

Of course, neither of them knew it at the time so they started dating three months into the school year. He would flirt with her and she would blush back. It was your typical cliche movie romance story.

I won’t lie to you
I know he’s just not right for you
And you can tell me if I’m off
But I see it on your face
When you say that he’s the one that you want
And you’re spending all your time
In this wrong situation
And anytime you want it to stop

We never talked but I wish we did. Now here we were, our second year into high school and this is were things started to get a little rough. Y/N came into school one day changed. She looked differently almost and certainly acted differently. She didn’t smile once that day.

I know I can treat you better than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted crying
When you should be with me instead
I know I can treat you better
Better than he can

We had been assigned as lab partners that year in chemistry class together. She came in one day with a split lip. When I asked her what happened, she replied with: “I-I fell down.” 

It didn’t take me long to figure out that her boyfriend was physically abusing her. I made note of this whenever I saw them together. Whenever he would put his arm around he shoulder, she would tense up and be all stiff. Whenever he tried to kiss her, she would always try to turn her head away from him. 

They also fought constantly. It became a daily ritual for them almost. It made me wonder why they didn’t just break up already. She deserved so much more. I didn’t understand why she stayed with a guy like him, a guy that physically abused her and said mean things to her. I wished she would just leave him.

I’ll stop time for you
The second you say you’d like me too
I just wanna give you the loving that you’re missing
Baby, just to wake up with you
Would be everything I need and this could be so different
Tell me what you want to do

I would do anything for her. Literally anything. I would give anything for her.  But I never even rounded enough courage to talk to her. It was always a simple: “Hello Peter,” in the hallways or in class. No other word was spoke between the two of us.

Over time, the odd couple’s relationship had gotten more rocky and unstable. Y/N almost never smiled and she seemed depressed. It made me extra angry every time I saw her boyfriend treating her like shit in school or outside of school. I wanted to help her. 

It wasn’t until Liz’s Party that I decided to do something. As soon as Ned and I walked in that door, Y/N approached us with a smile on her face. It was the first time I had seen her smile in a long time.

“Hi Peter. Ned,” she nodded. I couldn’t help but smile and admire her face as she talked to me for a few minutes. This was the first real conversation we had together. 

What I didn’t notice was her boyfriend eyeing us on the other side of the room. He had somehow managed to buy a few cans of beer earlier that night and had drunk all of them before arriving at this party. 

‘Cause I know I can treat you better than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted crying
When you should be with me instead
I know I can treat you better
Better than he can

I stiffened in posture when I saw the big guy walking towards us. He stumbled a little bit but found his way over to the two of us. “Hey babe. This little twig bothering you?”

She rolled her eyes at him as he laced his arm around her shoulder. “No, he’s my friend.” She shoved his arm off her shoulder. He smacked her ass and she jumped, wincing at his actions. 

“Care to show her some respect?” I asked. He chuckled and fiercely grabbed Y/N upper arm.

“You come with me,” he dragged her outside Liz’s house and I couldn’t help but watch as they fought. Though I couldn’t hear them over Flash’s music, I could visible see the anger and frustration surging through both of their eyes.

I made my way over to the window just in time to see his hand come crashing down onto her face. She fell to the ground from the amount of force and she began to cry softly to herself. That’s when I decided to step in.

I opened the screen door and made my way over to her. I placed my arm on her and she winced. “Ssh. Ssh. Ssh. It’s okay. I got you.” I stood to my feet and turned around. “Stay away from her. You don’t deserve a woman like her. She deserves so much better.”

“Uh-huh. And what are you going to do about it?” I swung my fist and it collided with his jaw. He stumbled back and cursed me out, but I didn’t care. I told him to get lost and he did. 

When I turned around, Y/N was gone. I searched the house but couldn’t find her. I was about to give up and just go home all together when I spotted her on the curb of the street. I slowly approached her and sat down next to her as she cried.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner,” I said.

“I am just glad you got there. I couldn’t imagine what he would have done if you hadn’t–” she stopped herself. She shook her head free of those thoughts. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter any more. It’s over. We are through.”

“Well I am glad then.” She looked at me in question so I explained myself. “I saw the way he treated you and I didn’t like it. He treated you like shit. Guys are suppose to respect women and care for them, not tear them down. He didn’t deserve you. You are worth a million of him. You deserve so much better.”

“Thanks Peter. That really means a lot to me,” she said, sniffing up her tears. I smiled kindly at her, showing I meant no harm and that I respected her for who she was. 

Give me a sign
Take my hand, we’ll be fine
Promise I won’t let you down
Just know that you don’t
Have to do this alone
Promise I’ll never let you down

“I just want you to know, that when you are ready, I will be waiting for you. I promise to treat you better than he ever did. I will treat you with respect and love. But I am always here for you and I will wait. I will wait for you because honestly, I don’t want anybody else.”

A small sincere smile arose onto her lips and she laced her hand with mine. She rest her head on my shoulder and sighed, breathing in the fresh air the night had produced. I raised her hand to my lips and gently kissed her knuckles. 

'Cause I know I can treat you better than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted crying
When you should be with me instead
I know I can treat you better
Better than he can

At that moment, I think we both knew. The future would be kind to us and we were so grateful it was. Everything was going to be okay. Everything was going to be alright.