my mother was beaten as a child. beaten. she would tell me stories of how she had to get a switch. how they would strip her down to no clothes and then beat her. how she would get beaten in front of her friends and how embarrassing that was. how she would get beaten for things that kids do; like make a mess or make a mistake or mess up on homework. she was beaten if she fell asleep in church. she was beaten if she slept in too much. she was beaten if she talked back. and she was beaten if she didn’t speak up.
my mom grew up and went to college and got her masters and became a social worker. and that’s when she realized that she wasn’t disciplined; she was abused.
growing up, i was a handful. my mom had to raise me, a kid with a smart mouth and a bad attitude. but she never beat me. she found other ways to discipline me. and you know what happened? eventually i came to my own understanding that i needed to cut the bullshit out because i loved my mom too much to cause her stress. as soon as i was old enough to see that my actions were causing my mom stress, i cut it out. from then on, i did well in school because i wanted to make her proud. i did my chores because i wanted her respect. i did what i was supposed to do because my mom loved me so so so much, i could not be an asshole to a person that gave me so much love
and that’s the difference. her parents wanted her to behave out of fear. and my mom wanted me to behave out of love and mutual respect.
that’s important to me. and yeah, obviously having my mom raised how she was and then her decisions how to raise me have created a bias. but we are all biased by the way our parents raised us.
and i know how i want to raise my kids. like my mom did.
Ở đời, chẳng ai có trách nhiệm phải yêu thương ai hết. Người luôn yêu em rồi cũng sẽ rời bỏ em khi nhẫn nại cùng tự tôn đều mất đi. Người ta đâu chỉ sống để đơn phương phía sau, mãi nhìn về một hướng.
Em rồi sẽ hiểu, từ bỏ đôi khi đồng nghĩa với thở dài…thanh thản buông tay một người để tìm kiếm cả bầu trời xanh…
Vì ai lại bên ai mãi được đâu…