no noah

OKAY LET ME TELL YOU FUCKERS ABOUT THIS WATER. 

IT’S BLACK RIGHT. YOU THINK ‘WELL SHIT IT’S GOTTA HAVE A FLAVOR’. WELL GUESS WHAT. IT FUCKING DOESN’T. IT’S JUST PURE, BLACK WATER. LIKE THE BADASS MOTHERFUCKER IT IS. 

BUT GUESS WHAT. NOT ONLY IS IT SUPER MOTHERFUCKING HEALTHY, THEY ALSO DONATE PART OF THEIR PROFITS TO AUTISM AWARENESS AND RESEARCH. HOW FUCKING BAD ASS IS THAT?

OH AND ANOTHER THING. THIS STUFF IS MADE OUT OF ALKALINE FULVIC TRACE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. THAT MEANS IT’S FUCKING MADE NEAR A VOLCANO. A MOTHERFUCKING VOLCANO. YOU ARE LITERALLY DRINKING VOLCANIC MINERALS.AND IF YOU DON’T FUCKING FIND THAT BAD ASS, THAT YOU’RE DRINKING VOLCANO SPRING WATER, THEN DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME. 

SUMMARY: THIS IS SOME BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKING WATER, AND IF YOU WANT TO BE METAL AS FUCKING HELL YOU NEED TO DRINK IT. BECAUSE COME ON. THEY DONATE TO AUTISM RESEARCH. THIS WATER IS FUCKING GREAT OKAY. 

this gets a side post since it was requested for a friend uvu wow okay this is a lot longer than i ever intended it to be but u h this also was never meant to take so long to write i just realized how much i really like this and it was a request so i wanted to make it really, really great. but uh i really suck so it wasnt anywhere near great but uh yeah here ya go uvu;;;;;;; 

The rain came slowly at first. Painfully slow. John stood in front of the Strider household, staring at the door. He knows better than to be here. Dave was already mad at him enough for missing his birthday already. 

Keep reading