no need to puff like that

a real ass guide to life

there’s a lot of shit on here about lighting candles and waking up early to see the sunset and if we are being hella honest, no one actually does that. u probably don’t own candles or if u do there in a closet and the only time you wake up early all year round is never. so here’s a guide to actual human beings.

-wake up when you need to. don’t wake up at 5 to “journal” and “meditate.” sleep is more important. if you have a class at 9, wake up at 8. it’s simple.
- eat something. it doesn’t have to be avocado toast. just have a bagel or a bowl of cocoa puffs.
- have ur meds if u take any
- attempt to look nice. at least brush your hair and your teeth. but honestly no one cares how u dress. if you wanna dress like a stripper, then dress like a goddamn stripper. honestly no one cares. (but if ur in hs try to follow the dress code a little bit?)
- wear makeup if u want, or if you don’t then don’t.
- ur probably not gonna exercise or stretch. who cares. i dont. your friends don’t. if ur feeling up to it then go jog 4 miles, but if ur not then don’t.
- actually try to have a plan of what ur doing for that day. attend ur classes, and do ur work. ur education is hella important. FUCKING DO IT. kill those grades, murder everyone else in that class, impress and surprise ur teacher, parents, and everyone else who thought u couldn’t do it
- attempt to be social. make plans with friends and try to go. it can be lowkey and only like an hr. eat pizza or go to a bar. just have fun.
- eat healthy. eat a hamburger when u really want a hamburger and eat a large pizza when u really want a large pizza but try ur hardest to eat healthyish.
- watch ya shows. who doesn’t love some amazing netflix binges? watch it. do it.
- actually read. books are honestly the best. at least try to pick up the first harry potter.
- go to sleep before 2AM!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ sleep is hella important.
- shower. you don’t need to buy expensive bath bombs or candles and have a fancy bath and coat ur skin in so much lotion that you are a walking wet rag, but try to smell somewhat pleasant.
- do what u want. just make sure it’s legal. have sex, travel, learn how to code, be with ur family, have a family, marry someone nice, build an empire, be fierce, be strong, but most of all: be happy. you live once on this planet. live it to the fullest. and don’t let ANYONE bring you down. not a girl, not a guy, not a parent, or a so called friend. keep your standards high, and heels higher.

anonymous asked:

Your swan story just made me think "What if a tiny 4'11 woman saw a transformed swan and was basically all 'please make me ripped too' and ended up building a house by the lake to be with her swan buds. And people keep passing by and thinking she's a swan in human form, and are not prepared for her friends when their wrong"

(I love this idea! I’m trying this new thing where I don’t write 5,000 words and don’t post because it doesn’t have an ending lol. So here’s a short one!)


“I’ll make her my wife!” Samuel declares, slamming his tankard on the bar. The men and women around him groan, but it’s his best friend Otis that speaks.

“You’ve said that everyday for the past week,” Otis says. “Maybe try talking to her first, huh?”

Samuel shakes his head so hard that his hair, tied up with a scrap of leather, comes undone. “We don’t need words. Our eyes met across the lake. The sun lit up her verdant eyes and–”

We fell in love instantly,” the pub choruses. The ladies in the back all take a shot, giggling at their incomprehensible game.

Samuel continues doggedly. “My mother married a frog, and I will marry myself a swan. Fairy tales run in my family, mate, you’ll see.”

“Sure, you drunk bastard,” Otis says and buys him another pint.

Samuel decides that tomorrow, tomorrow he’ll show them all.

——————————————————

“Good morning,” he calls from the fence line. He swipes his hat from his hand as the young woman turns and tries not to show his nerves. “L-lovely day we’re having, no?”

The young woman blinks at him. She’s small, thin arms and dainty feet with a long, lovely neck. This makes sense, of course, seeing that she is a swan in human form.

Samuel knows that at any moment, his love will invite him in, glad to finally have an excuse to be in his presence just as he is glad to be in hers. It is good that he knows this because the blood is pounding in his ears and he can hardly hear a thing over the thunder of his own heart.

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seventeen during exam season

s.coups: 137% chill, shows up empty-handed with 8 hours of sleep like “what paper is it today”

jeonghan: 2 words: closet. mugger. freaks out at home but plays it cool during the exam, does really well

joshua: oH. he’s the one who’s prepared for every fucking paper. does his notes consistently, doesn’t even freak out. tops the class.

jun: “wait what there’s an exam today”

hoshi: slams his notes into his face repeatedly screaming “DIFFUSION”, what even is sleep lol

wonwoo: sneaks food into the exam hall. finishes super early and is the annoying one who stresses everyone out

woozi: seems prepared but really got 2 hours of sleep last night and has a random cream puff in his pocket 

dokyeom: memorises everything by turning it into a song so he’s just sitting there singing to himself during the paper

mingyu: does his notes the night before but doesn’t actually read them until 23 minutes before the exam

minghao: doesn’t even need to study. is the first one to flip the page like “listen to the sound of me speeding ahead of the peasants”

seungkwan: paces back and forth before the exam trying to memorise shit. glares at vernon during the paper bc he keeps rapping.

vernon: turns stuff into raps to memorise them, sits there mumbling to himself while seungkwan imagines him dying a slow and painful death

dino: woke up at 4.30am to study but got distracted by his phone and shows up completely unprepared with no will to live

Bruised (Richie/Eddie) 1/12

Summary: It’s 1993 and the summer from many years ago is dead and gone. Many have drifted apart from the Losers club and its at the point where there is no club at all. The atmosphere is cold just like the winter months and the only blushes to be found are the ones that are caused from the piercing spikes of cold that heat skin up. Being a teenage boy is hard; especially for the two boys that now count each other as strangers. In which both boys make a plan, but both disrupt each others.

Warning(s): Suicide attempt?? , depression, mental illness’, mixture of fluff and angst throughout the series, homophobic slurs

A/N: Hi!! welcome to part 1 of IDK HOW MANY but ayy!! Honestly, i’M MAKING A TAG LIST FOR THIS SERIES SO IF ANYONE WHO DOESN’T WANNA FOLLOW ME OR WANTS TO BE NOTIFIED JUST ASK!!

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

Richie Tozier brought the cigarette between his lips, letting the toxic smoke fill his decaying lungs and pulse throughout his insides and swirls around in each crevice of his body. He then takes away the cancer stick, after a moment blowing out the toxic waste into the thin November air.

Beverly Marsh raised an eyebrow at him, sitting across from the much taller boy on the brick wall with her own cigarette between her fingers. She watched as the smoke faded into nothing, sighing lightly as she proceeded to watch her best friend smoke away.

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  • random person: *compares Donald Trump to Voldemort*
  • me: YESSSSS.
  • my thoughts: Except he's not a Slytherin -- he's impulsive, rash, hot-tempered, and puts a lot of value on his public image and how people see him...plus he shows no resourcefulness, self-preservation, or loyalty to his inner-circle, since he had multiple divorces and only seems focused on himself. So basically he's an evil Gryffindor! ...Wait. What about Hillary? SHE shows resourcefulness, cleverness, and loyalty to her inner circle...plus she is methodical in her decision-making, can be incredibly flexible, and will kiss up to people to get her way. And of course she was vilified by people who mistook her cleverness for deviousness--OH MY GOD, HILLARY IS A GOOD SLYTHERIN HOLY COW.
Bygones of the Sun | 07 (M)

Originally posted by hobismole

Genre: Angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok

Length: 6.7k

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07

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Google Salutes the Birth of Hip Hop with Interactive Doodle

Google is celebrating the 44th anniversary of hip-hop today with an interactive doodle on its homepage. Kool Herc’s party at 1520 Sedgwick Avenue in the Bronx 44 years ago is cited as the crystallization of influences that became known as hip-hop. Google’s keyword team spoke with Kevin Burke, Ryan Germick Perla Campos who are behind the doodle. They also worked with hip-hop legends Fab 5 Freddy who was the first host of Yo! MTV Raps and Def Jam logo creator and visual artist Cey Adams. Check out their story behind the doodle,

Keyword: How did you come up with the idea for this Doodle?

Kevin: I’m a huge Hip Hop fan. Growing up outside New Orleans, it was a part of my DNA-performing Hip Hop in my high school band, adding Hip Hop to my college radio station’s rotation, and working on the set of Outkast’s “Ms. Jackson” music video in my first job out of college. Hip Hop has been a constant thread through my life and I wanted to bring my love of it to a Doodle. I developed the concept for interactive turntables, showed it to my manager Ryan (also a fan of Hip Hop), and he lost it. He said, “let’s make it tomorrow!”

OK, so people were into the idea. But Hip Hop is such a big topic. How did you decide what to focus on?

Perla: From the beginning, we were thinking big. I mean, Hip Hop touches so many parts of culture but a lot of people don’t know much about its origins. So, we anchored the Doodle to the birth of Hip Hop, and wanted to celebrate the people who pioneered the movement. We hope to give them the voice and the recognition they deserve, which is what Doodles are all about-shining light on times of history that maybe you didn’t know about. 

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THE HOT GUY AT THE CLUB (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

Request: Bellamy x reader where reader is friends with Octavia and one night the reader goes to a club and has sex with a really hot guy. The next day she goes to Octavia’s house and Octavia is thrilled because her older brother, whom you have never met, is finally back from college. You realize bellamy is the guy you hooked up with. Smut pls

PART TWO


The music was loud and his body was close. As you danced to the track blaring through the speakers, you felt the stranger’s fingers pressing into your hips from behind. And you loved it. 

You turned around, coming face to face with the boy who said hi at the bar a few minutes ago. He looked down at you and the smile he gave you nearly made you collapse. He was beautiful and the way he started a conversation so easily felt comfortable and natural. 
The hot sweaty bodies dancing around pushed you into his arms and the two of you danced closer under the flickering of the club lights. After getting to his house, everything was a blur of bare bodies and daring touches. 

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  • Sirius: Do you think I need to go on a diet?
  • James: Padfoot wtf no
  • Sirius: Maybe a little exercise then? My ass doesn't look good enough
  • Remus: Your ass looks great, shut up
  • Sirius: I feel like I've got a bit of a belly
  • Peter: Well if you didn't eat my fucking cheese puffs all the time, we wouldn't be having this conversation

How about Enjolras who stress cleans?

Combeferre and Courfeyrac both know from living with Enjolras that the state of the house is a clear indication of how stressed Enjolras is.

  • A clean kitchen means that Enjolras is stuck on a part of his essay or speech and needs half an hour to come up with just the right phrase.
  • Their bedrooms all tidied up means that he’s finished off a major piece of work and isn’t happy with the result but just can’t get it to work.
  • Enjolras following you around with a broom and dustpan and yelling at you for dropping crumbs on the floor means he’s just had a particularly awful argument conversation or read something that really made him angry and it’s best to stay out of his way.
  • Coming home to a house smelling like hospital grade cleaning products means Enjolras is worried about someone and doesn’t know how to express his concern

Combeferre and Courfeyrac have learnt to just let Enjolras be when he gets like this, knowing he’ll come out of it in his own time.

But Grantaire hasn’t lived with Enjolras before, so when they start dating, he doesn’t know that avoiding the stressed blonde is perfectly acceptable. So instead, he comes up with his own way of helping Enjolras deal.

  • Grantaire who introduces Enjolras to stress baking so that they can at least enjoy the fruits of all that energy spent.
  • Grantaire who takes Enjolras to his studio so that their fearless leader can take his aggression out on paints and then pass it off as Enjolras creating art (”people get paid obscene amounts to do this you know, and you’re a natural - I think you could get rich from this!”)
  • Grantaire who sits down with Enjolras one day and researches on environmentally friendly cleaning products and alternatives to store bought products (”all the blogs say baking soda and vinegar, E - we’ll need to go shopping”) because he doesn’t like how dry and calloused Enjolras’s hands are because the dope doesn’t bother with gloves when he cleans.

Enjolras learns to make the most delicious puff pastries and home-made macarons (and Grantaire starts complaining he’s putting on weight).

Grantaire sneaks in one of E’s artwork in his exhibition as a guest work and calls it “Fury” - it sells for obscene amounts of money (much to Enjolras’s dismay and Grantaire’s delight)

A HISTORY OF SUGARY BIG BOYS

Sugary Big Boys started off as delicious big boys. Round. Pure.
They were very popular on Twitter and Tumblr.
[LINK] [LINK] [LINK]

 I had also posted a picture of me making the sugary big boys of goodness
[LINK]

Upon that picture being posted, I got this beautiful ask
[LINK]

This was the most hilarious thing to me, and the beginnings, of sugary big boys.

I literally could not let this go, and made several stupid posts about it
[LINK] [LINK]

A good while past
I joined an amazing discord server
I showed them the cookies and the Sugary Big Boys joke
AND THEY ATE IT UP
[LINK] [LINK]

So the server went crazy. Sugary big boys right and left. Constantly referenced. Still are to this day. Cookie icons everywhere.

One day, SpuddyBuddy joins the server
We introduce them to the servers memes and jokes, including the cookie one, which was soon after it was made

Spud decided to start a stream, and the cookiepocolypse spread into the chat immediately
But Spud was thinking of something else every time they heard the three words
SUGARY BIG BOYS

And thusly
THE STREAM EVOLVED INTO THIS
[LINK]

THEY WERE NAMED CREAM PUFF
PILES OF FANART EMERGED
[LINK] [LINK]

CREAMPUFF HAS THEIR OWN BLOG
https://askbodybuilderbendy.tumblr.com/

And thusly, that is where Sugary Big Boys has evolved to so far. Who knows what tomorrow might bring. Will add updates to this post if need be. So help me if I do.

permission was granted by spud to add that image to this post

THANKS FOR READING IF YOU ACTUALLY DID OR JUST STARED AT THE PRETTY PICTURES INSTEAD LIKE A NERD

96 line at hogwarts

chittaphon leechaiyapornkul / ten - ravenclaw

music

2. We were dancing but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and we’re standing here awkwardly staring at each other

This Winter Screw is going much better than the last.

For one thing, Bittle’s date isn’t throwing up on his shoes, which Jack understood happened last year. And right now Bittle appears to be dancing with his date, or something like it. Jack, having seen the way Bittle can dance at parties, knows he’s toning it way down. Even so, Bittle is fun to watch on the dance floor, how the light catches his hair and how his smile widens as he jerks his hips from side to side with a laugh. He just always looks like he’s having a great time.

It strikes Jack kind of funny that he’s decided this Screw is going well based entirely on how good of a time Bittle’s having. God knows it has nothing to do with himself and his own date. Camilla and Jack have a quiet understanding; she’s with her friends, he’s … here, watching his pal on the dance floor, with an already-drained clear plastic cup of water and strangely itchy fingers.

But Jack’s not the kind of guy who has an actively good time at these things – they’re okay, he’s okay. It’s guys like Bittle, who are capable of having amazing times or miserable ones, that Jack has to calibrate his experience by.

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Taking a shower with Chris Evans

⚠ NSFW content below ⚠

• Taking showers with Chris when he gets back from the gym is your priority! He’s so adorable when he’s exhausted that you want to hold him.
• Usually, you would sneak inside and surprise him in the shower… which is a great one.
• You both prefer and privilege bath together on dates or lazy Sundays.
• When Chris asks you to take a shower with him, it’s in the morning most of the time. It wakes him up and having you by his sides when he emerges from sleep is all he needs.
• The hot water running down your bodies is a real stress reliever.
• You have different shower puffs and his is blue obviously. That’s his favorite color, after all.
• Chris doesn’t like strong chemical scented body washes or shampoos. It’s very fresh and fruity for him and classic with vanilla or caramel for you.
• When he’s naked like this, you can’t contain yourself and you kiss his tattoos! Their meanings are very beautiful and/or inspiring and honestly, they suit him very well.
• Chris washes your body softly when you are too tired and he secretly loves the way you smile, eyes closed every time his fingers massage your scalp.
  - “Y/N, stop squeezing your eyes shut like this, it feels like you have soap in your eyes.”
  - “There is soap in my eyes! Quick, water!”
  - “Oh, man… I’m so sorry, sweetheart!”
  - “Stop laughing, you dork!”
• Chris loves singing in the shower! He just can’t stop himself!
  - He uses the shower head as a microphone, which makes you laugh all the time, but you end up joining him in his joyful mood, anyway.
• You make fun of him when you turn off the hot water and he lets out a high pitched scream.
• Chris pokes your sides because he enjoys hearing you yelping and laughing. Let’s be honest, he likes tickling you, so this is a good excuse.
• You wash his body as well when he comes back from a set and you secretly love brushing your bare hands with the shower gel on his back. Is there any need to explain why?!
• Sometimes, Chris surprises you when he steps into the shower and wraps his arms around your waist. He begins to kiss your shoulder and every inch of your skin until he finds your earlobe while his curious fingers finally reach some other sensitive spots of your body.
• Shower sex!
  - It’s such a great excuse and peaceful moments for you both, so you want to enjoy this fully.
• Usually, you prefer going down on him in the shower instead of receiving oral pleasure.
  - Once again, just imagine this glorious man: the way his beautiful blue eyes flutter close and his lips go slack, and the moment his hands grip his hair dripping as you make him come in your mouth. It’s worth everything!
• Chris adores backing you up against the glass and taking you just right there. He can’t have enough of this sight where your body is hot with your surface glistening and your hair wet. He finds you so freaking sexy!
• Having your back against his chest while he thrusts and holds your breasts is an inexplicable sensation with the combination of the water and the steamy environment.
• He moans in your ear because he knows how you react. He repeats your name, praising your body until you can’t take more and he makes you come undone. Oh, my God… you can’t even explain how you feel when he does this and whispers all the dirty things you like.
• When you hydrate your skin with your favorite body moisturizer (because water dries it), he admires the way your hands massage the cream into your skin and he just can’t stop himself from staring. That’s his thing!
• From your side, you admire how the drops of water cascades down Chris’ chest to the towel he always wraps very low around his narrow hips.
• He knows exactly what he’s doing, by the way. You don’t mind, though.


PERMANENT TAG LIST:
@feelmyroarrrr @gallifreyansass @defendors @ballerinafairyprincess @misschrisevans @always-an-evans-addict @kennadance14 @buckybarnesisalittleshit @helloitscrowley @captainamerica-ce @kiwi71281 @topthis808 @dead-lee-15 @the-daydreamer-girl @our-love-world @hellomissmabel @voidobsession @mrssierrarogers @redstarstan @punkrockhippiefromthefourties @angryschnauzer @fangirling-is-what-i-do-best @minstrell-axx @captainamerotica @kaitlynthehuman @juneookami @mellifluous-melodramas @sfreeborn @buckyswinterchildren @potterhead1265 @castellandiangelo @louisespecter @fvckingevans - tell me if you’d like to be added. :)

rain (reddie) ch. 1

Type: Series

Summary: Richie and Eddie had dated each other for a long time, and things had been going great - or so, they thought. After Eddie comes home to an empty apartment and a note left behind, the loving relationship of four years tragically ended. Years of never speaking to each other later, the wedding of Beverly and Ben brings everyone back together, including Eddie and Richie. Hotel room mix-ups, drunken confessions, loud arguments between several losers, bad parties, old childhood games, memories, music, love, and drama ensues over the week of preparing for the wedding.

Pairing(s): Reddie, Stenbrough, Benverly

Word count: 2.2k

Chapter Warnings: Your heart might hurt a little

A/N: I’ve written two one shots so far and people seem to like them, so I thought I’d try my hand at a full blown fic. I hope it takes off, because I have some great ideas for this. If you’d like to be updated with the tagging system on possible future chapters, just let me know! Oh, and the losers are around 27 years of age to help out a bit. There will be some stenbrough and benverly involved, but it’ll mostly center around reddie.

Also, big shout out to @r-u-reddie for being the beta of this fic. Without Rose, this shit would’ve been hella bad. She went the whole nine yards in being a beta, so she deserves major credit for this chapter and the next chapters to come. @reddie-asheck did a bit of beta-ing for the first half of the chapter, so they deserve a shout out as well! 

One last thing before I shut my mouth - The song I listened to to get into the mood for tihs chapter is Happier by Ed Sheeran. Enjoy guys!

AO3 link coming in two weeks

Check out the new inspo tag here

“Richie, are you here?”

A trembling, but soft sigh sounded past the blue tinted lips of Eddie Kaspbrak as he closed the wooden door behind him, visibly wincing at the squeaking sounds of his sneakers as they collided with the hardwood floor beneath him.

It was raining. Hard. His previously dry jacket was now soaked to the point that his once-dry clothes took a heavy hit as well.

This caused Eddie’s body to tremble like an autumn leaf, but the immense relief he felt once walking into the warm apartment helped to curb the effect a bit.

“Richie? Did you fall asleep in my bed again?” Eddie called out once more, carefully removing his shoes before walking further inside of his small abode.

There wasn’t much to his apartment; it unfortunately lacked space. It contained one bedroom, one bathroom, and a kitchen/living room that shared the same area. In fact, the common area wasn’t too much bigger than his room, but that was fine to him. He had what he needed. Besides, living in New York meant that any decent apartment would cost a fortune.

He had done his best to make it his own by using subtle, but neat decorations to line his walls and inexpensive furniture in hopes of not making it too cluttered.

After grabbing a towel to dry himself off with, running it over his curls, Eddie walked over to his bedroom to see if his theory was correct. However, a deep frown began to settle on his face when he found both his bed and bedroom empty.

‘Where the hell is he?’ Eddie thought to himself, trying not to become worked up over his boyfriend’s absence.

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jungkook scenario | aureate

Originally posted by jkguks

❝ aureate: adjective. made of gold ❞

prompt: You’re athletically challenged, but cute as heck so I keep on picking you for my team in gym class quidditch… oh am I being too obvious?

pairing: ravenclaw jungkook x slytherin reader

requested by @stitched-yoongz and anon | 3.6k words | fluff, hogwarts au


[First year]

Jungkook is aureate. Untouchable. A pure blood wizard with the heavy weight of a proud family history resting on his sculpted shoulders. He’s cut from topaz and quartz, dipped in milk and honey, smiling from his spot in perfect paradise.

Achieving high scores in class, held in high regard by all the professors, and his looks getting all the girls high, with tittering over his strong brows, bright eyes, and occasional bunny-toothed smile to remind them of his softer sides – it’s enough for you to decide that you hate him at the age of eleven. Fresh faced and fuming, you want him in his place. Not under the gaze of every girl, causing a flurry of capes and fluttering of eyelashes every time he passes by, but rather, away from the limelight, with his golden name tarnished.

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don’t know what this is, it’s not going anywhere. It was just a thought I had after last night and that delightful little tidbit about Julius. This is entirely predictable, sorry.


It’s not until the third time that Grog goes to the brothel in Whitestone that the Madam who runs the house pulls him aside as he’s leaving.

“I paid up, I know I did,” Grog says immediately. “She counted it out for me and everything.”

The Madam - gray hair but not old enough for it to be anything but just the way most of the adult Whitestone residents are - laughs at him. “You’re fine, lad. You treat my girls right and you pay well. I’m not turning you away. I just had a question for you.”

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anonymous asked:

this is entirely irrelevant but his hair is just so fluffy i wanna touch it

puff