no more tears left to cry

Choose Your Guard

He was working those long hours again. You were still in bed, fully awake but with no energy to get up. It was lonely without him, and you were left with your thoughts again. It was getting harder to stand being alone in your own house, but even harder to get dressed and go out to wait until he texted or called. You didn’t want to be so clingy and selfish, you knew he was working and he always made time to check up on you during the day. It hurt to lie to him, but you didn’t want to add more stress onto him than his job already did. Tears fell as you sobbed again, at least this time you knew why you were crying. You were left alone with your mind, it was one of those days that just seemed to tighten your chest to the point where you thought you were going to get a heart attack. Why could you always comfort people but not yourself? It was frustrating to have these irrational thoughts slowly eat away at you.

If you lived together, it wouldn’t be as bad since he’d come home to you, sleep in the same bed. But you lived apart and you wanted him to get his rest after work, so you hardly got to see each other when he had to stay overtime. You wanted to call and hear his voice , at least for a minute. It always seemed to ease you and help you through the day, but you didn’t wanna bother him. You didn’t have the energy to reach for your phone either, or even shift your position, or eve wipe away the tears. You were tired. You just wanted to sleep most of the time, but when you tried you just got those migraines again. Your phone rang once, then again, then one more time before it finally indicated you had a text message.

You never checked who it was, you just stared at the wall through. At least you stopped crying, but even getting comfortable in bed was starting to be a hassle.

It wasn’t until later that you heard your front door shut, a familiar voice calling your name and quick footsteps make their way to your bedroom door. It couldn’t be! The door swung open and you gasped softly. He was supposed to be at work, what was he doing here?
“You didn’t pick up the phone. I thought something bad happened.” His tone was so gentle, it eased your pain and you smiled, tears falling again. At least they were happy tears. He sat down next to you and helped you shift so your head rested on his lap. “I’m here.” He cooed.

“I love you.”

Those simple words were enough, they were what you needed right now. Every bad thought just went away.

Once I sculpted you out of letters
and carved quotes into your skin
you became every word
I wanted someone to tell me
even if you said it with silence
you let me spill tears on your shoulder
even though it left a stain
and you never forgot a single detail
while I poured my heart out every day
yet I abandoned you as I always do
when you ran out of space for me
and I realized as I tucked you
behind rows of books on my shelves
that you never asked for my eyes
to spill tears on your corners
and my mind to drip words on each line
I ruined my creation,
my sculpture born of ink,
until I had no more tears left to cry.
—  Journal, @nothingwithoutwords

This may sound harsh but I’m just curious…how long before all the liberal white tears stop falling and everyone stops crying about Trump 2016 in favor of excitement over pumpkin spice lattes or whatever else? Because let’s be real- this public outcry against the American presidential election probably only has the strength of a news cycle. I’m sorry, was that too brusque? Trust me I know this is a sad/sensitive time- I’m black, queer and I rep North Carolina for better or worse. But every “shocked”/“horrified”/“scared”/“I’m so abysmally sad” social media status has left me more confused than I expected to feel. Did y'all just realize that racism is alive and well in America? I mean, I can’t tell you how many people hit me up with photos of the impromptu KKK presence in the streets of Mebane, NC yesterday. Those fuckers have been stars of my nightmares since I came out of Tangela’s womb, but did y'all just remember them? Is that why you’re so “shocked”/“horrified”/“scared”/“…abysmally sad”? For the record, they’ve always been present. They weren’t eradicated just because you thought we live in a “post racial America,” whatever that means. Y'all, this isn’t a different America than the one we woke up in on Tuesday morning. Stop acting brand new. Stop looking for sympathy where it isn’t deserved. Dry your tears and use all that thumb tapping power to bring good energy and positive action into this world, not stroke your own ego. If you’re feeling guilt because you didn’t convince your relatives/loved ones not to vote for the Donald, then admit it. If you’re a person of privilege and you’re struggling with personal responsibility for the election results, acknowledge your privilege and use it for good. But please calm down with all this foot stomping and tear sniffing- it doesn’t create strength or action, it just reads like the ramblings of a disappointed kindergartener. Regardless of US presidency, we have all the tools to live in harmony with one another. But we have to accept our own responsibility and stop looking outside of ourselves for the answers to our problems. Leggings- @rainbeaucurves Fingers + Toes- @yogapaws 📸 by @lydiahudgens (at Durham, North Carolina)

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1) If you discover something that you’re passionate about, pursue it. Pursue it with everything you have.
2) If you need to cry, cry. Let tears run down your face until there are no more left, until you’re sure you can never cry again. Then wipe your cheeks, and continue fighting.
3) Take time for yourself. Sometimes when everything in your head gets too crowded and confusing, you just need to shut yourself out, to hole up in your room and just be alone with your thoughts.
4) There is no feeling just like the way your heart pounds when you’re at a concert and the lights go out. Also: nothing is as satisfying as screaming out the lyrics to your favourite songs, screaming them right at the person who wrote them down.
5) If you ever need to escape, read a book. Get lost in a different world, give your heart away to fictional characters. Laugh and cry with them. If you don’t like reading, listen to an audio book.
6) Flowers will light up your darkest days. If no one buys flowers for you, buy them for yourself.
7) Always be honest with people you expect to be honest with you. Tell them if you don’t like the way they act towards you or others. And always tell them how important they are, how much you love them and how grateful you are to have them in your life. You can’t say it often enough.
8) Laugh. Laugh until your stomach hurts and until happy tears blur your eyes.
9) Get out of your comfort zone and take the first step. Text him first. Smile at him. You’ve got nothing to lose. Who knows, maybe he’s been as scared as you to make a move.
10) Be nice to your parents. If they’re angry with you, it’s most likely because they’re worried. And think back, maybe you mistreated them. Maybe you weren’t fair. They’re the reason you’re in this world in the first place, so treat them accordingly.
11) Your heart will get broken, there’s no need to lie. But hearts don’t stay that way. It doesn’t matter if someone comes along and fixes it for you or if you fix it yourself. It’s not what you want to hear, but the boy who crushes your heart into tiny pieces probably won’t even matter to you five years from now.
12) Cut toxic people out of your life. You don’t need them. Don’t let them take your happiness.
13) It’s not selfish to put yourself first from time to time. Not at all.
14) Don’t ever wonder if you’re good enough. Instead try to be the best version of yourself. If you think you are not good enough for someone, think again: let go of them. They don’t deserve you, not the other way around.
15) Losing someone you love is always hard, no matter the circumstances. “Time heals wounds” is not necessarily true - but time helps. Time lets the pain fade to a dull ache in your chest until you wake up one day and you’re okay.
16) Don’t worry too much. Easy to say, isn’t it? What I mean is: don’t worry about things you don’t have to worry about. Because you don’t have to spend your days dreading the next week or dreading your life after school. There’s no point, it only drags you down.
17) Don’t take anything for granted, ever. Be grateful, even for the little things.
18) If someone says “you will never make it” to you, smile at them and try as hard as you can to get where you want to be. You don’t have to show them anything, but it still feels fucking fantastic to prove them wrong in the end, not gonna lie.
19) You have never been in love? You’re a virgin or unkissed, even? Don’t stress. The right person will come along, they’re on their way already. Until they reach you, be kind to yourself. Falling in love is neither a competition, nor a necessity.
20) Make other people happy. Yes. How good does it feel to make someone smile? Tell your best friend she looks amazing when you meet her, help your mum do the dishes, smile at strangers on your way home. Make yourself feel better by simply being a good person.
21) Learn how to forgive others. It’s a blessing to know how to stop holding grudges.
—  21 things I learned about life before I turned 21
i’m sorry we didn’t last. i’m sorry you couldn’t stay. i thought we’d have more time because, god, were you good at pretending you’d be able to love me forever.
—  i can still feel your fingers roaming across my skin (myheartin—words)

anonymous asked:

Oml that headcanon with JJ's parents killed me. I now really want more loverboy AU Yuri being really insecure and the undercuts comfortung him and making him feel better and know that he's not dead weight and that he matters so much

It happens a lot, actually. Yuri’s still as bold and loud and aggressive as he always is but he’s equally as worried about the inevitable future where he thinks both Beka and JJ will have a life without him and be happy. It gets especially worse the more Beka’s DJ career starts to take off - Yuri steps in to basically become his manager in the AU eventually (spoilers lol), but bigger places are trying to hire him and he feels eventually he’ll be left behind. Knows he will be left behind, because it always happens to him. Figures eventually JJ will graduate, get a good gig at a firm and leave him too. 

Yuri crying between them in a hotel room as they sleep together on one bed, trying to keep his tears silent but his chest still shakes and Beka wakes up (lets be honest, poor JJ sleeps like a log), trying to get Yuri to talk. Taking him out onto the balcony so they don’t disturb JJ, Yuri smoking between shaky hands wrapped in a cardigan and laughing ruefully at how pathetic and fucked up he is, thankful that JJ sleeps so heavy because he’s mortified enough for Beka to see him like this. Yuri realizing that Beka won’t let him back into the hotel room until he admits what is wrong, and they sit in silence for a long time until Yuri has the strength to say with shaky words that "you’re going to leave me one day, but it’s okay.“

Beka not having any of this though, looking at Yuri so seriously and swearing he never will. Never has, never will leave Yuri no matter what happens. Holding Yuri and reminding him that he is important and he couldn’t do anything without him, kissing him against the railing and taking him inside out of the cold. JJ waking up finally and catching on to what is happening, reminding Yuri that he is loved with little whispers and strong arms that wrap around him next to Otabek’s. (Now Yuri’s crying again, but for a different reason)

“I need you more than you need me,” she whispered to herself as she made the realization. Those words knocked the air out of his chest, and for a moment he couldn’t manage to get it back. He loved her. He had treated her like crap but he loved her. And looking at her in her huge green sweater with tears in her eyes didn’t make things any better. He still didn’t know how to make things right. He had to let her go.
After a few more seconds of silence, all he could bring himself to do was turn away and say, “I think you’re right. I’m not right for you and I probably never will be.” But as soon as the words left his mouth, he glanced at her from the corner of his eye and watched her break. And the pain he felt forced him to walk away, leaving her to cry without his shoulder to comfort her. Again.
—  💜
Lost & Found, Ch 10

The final chapter is up! AO3 or FFnet.

Katniss didn’t know how long she sat there, propped against the door. She was numb all over. There shouldn’t be any more tears to cry, yet they kept slipping down her cheeks. Her hand kept finding its way to her neck, searching for the pearl. Each time it grasped nothing but air, she sucked in a sharp breath, petrified she’d lost it, only to be crushed by the memory of the delicate chain piling into the driver’s hand, the round, silver gem nestled in the middle. After months of grief and fear, the stab of Peeta’s rejection had left her emotions raw and bleeding. He’d chosen them over her. Worse than that, he’d been indifferent to her. The agony of that moment wasn’t a memory that was going away anytime soon. Maybe not ever. Her only hope was that it would lessen over time.

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anonymous asked:

starco 57!!!

(send me a ship + a no. 1-60 for a prompt!)

starco + 57. “things you said when no one else was around”


“Are you okay?”

Well, that was a dumb question. Star clutched his hand, and squeezed tight, holding it with whatever strength she had left before lifting up Marco’s hand to her face, letting him touch the heart on her cheek. Perhaps in some sort of means to remind herself he was actually here…

“I don’t know,” she said, her voice wavering.

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I’ve just rewatched ep9 and this scene made me cry.

Yuuri is trying his hardest to hold back his tears and it immediately reminded me of his profile page in ep1:

He had two goals for last season (bottom left) and they were

  • winning the Grand Prix Final and
  • not crying during the match

His mental weakness has always been his biggest problem and I believe he broke out in tears many times during or after the match in the past, but this time, he didn’t cry. He managed to hold back his tears until the competition was over and he was reunited with Victor at the airport. He eventually accomplished one of his goals.

So there’s only one more goal that needs to be accomplished, namely





I just noticed that, in this scene, Bellamy is still crying as Clarke hugs him. You can see a tear fall from his eye in both gifs. Seeing that tear makes the hug so much more important to me. Clarke knows how upset Bellamy is over where his relationship with Octavia is at that point and that Clarke left him. Clarke knows how much her leaving affected Bellamy- how angry and upset it made him. She’s standing there with him as he’s telling her how he feels- something he doesn’t do often or with anyone else- and she understands him. She feels as he feels, and she embraces him for her own comfort as much as his. She knows that’s what Bellamy needs at that moment, and she needs it too. They stand there, holding each other, and we see both of their perspectives. Clarke has her eyes closed, soaking in the fact that Bellamy’s there; he’s real, and he needs her as she needs him. She’s comforted. Then we get Bellamy who, though he is Clarke’s equal, rests on her like a crutch in this moment. He’s a leader; he can be in control as much as Clarke can, but he’s only human. He hurts. He feels. He breaks down. He cries, and Clake is there now to hold him as he does.

the ndrv3 boys reacting to their s/o nearly falling to their death? kind of like how kirigiri nearly fell into ruruka’s trap in despair arc?

Here it is. Sorry for the long wait! We only have a couple requests left so look for the ask box to be open as well! 

- Mod Ouma God

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Edge of Everything (Prologue)

This got a lot bigger than I intended, but I really like how it turned out. I hope you all enjoy; I missed writing this version of my favorite pair. Thanks for all the love =)

I couldn’t even feel the rain as it fell on me. I stood outside Feyre’s house shivering, more tears staining my cheeks. I found it was easier to cry in the rain. My tears and the raindrops all blurred together. My hands were shaking, but I tried to find whatever courage I had left to walk up the path. I had nowhere else to go.  I wasn’t sure what my sister would say, but I needed someone. I needed someone else to know. To carry this pain with me.

I had shouldered this secret for too long. I couldn’t handle it anymore.

I let out a shaky breath as I knocked. I could’ve just walked in, but I felt like someone else. After that night Tomas attacked me I didn’t feel like Nesta anymore. I felt like a stranger living in my skin.

It felt like hours before she pulled the door open, “Nesta,” her eyes went wide when she saw the tears in my eyes. I wasn’t one who cried easily everyone knew that.

She pulled me out of the rain and hugged me close. My sister gave the best hugs, even when I didn’t want them. She held me tighter than anyone else, as if she knew it was the only way to get past my shield. As if she could put my pieces back together if she tried hard enough.

She ran her hands up and down my cold arms. Her eyes were wide as she took a step back to look at me. We had the same eyes, given to us by our selfish mother. Feyre’s were always softer, full of the love our mother never shared with us.

My sister was so full of compassion sometimes I forgot she was the youngest of the three of us, “what happened? What’s wrong?”

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anonymous asked:

How the FUCK did I just now find this blog?... Anyways, I absolutely love ya. And I wanted to know if you could do a Fred Weasley smut? I'll leave it tp yoi to figure out the logistics. I'm not too picky. Sorry if you don't do the Weasley's it's just one of those days. *sigh*

You sat in your room surrounded by blankets crying. You clutched your pillow as hot, salty tears ran down your cheeks while long loud sobs emitted from your throat. You didn’t want to cry, but hurt feelings and more than a couple swigs of alcohol had left you a blubbering mess. The night hadn’t began like this. In fact, it was a fantastic night. You and all of your friends sat in the common room, firewiskey adding a fun element to the night, and laughs were shared among everyone. Everything went sour when a friend of yours decided to poke fun at you. At first the jokes were funny and lighthearted, but as the night wore on and tipsy turned to drunk the jokes became ruder, meaner, and plain insulting. By the time you had heard something sounding close to “fat” you got up. Tears were already falling down your face, but you didn’t care. Without even saying goodbye you rushed out of the room avoiding all of your friends’ pleas for you to stay. And that was how you ended up here, in your bed, crying. That is, until you heard a knock on your door. “Who is it?” you called out as your voice cracked pathetically, “It’s Fred. Can I come in?” your heart fluttered against your chest upon hearing his voice. You rapid wiped the tears off your cheeks hoping you didn’t look like a complete mess, “Come in.” Fred slowly opened the door, waking over to you with trepidation. He sat down beside you acting oddly calm, especially for him. “Are you alright?” he asked softly. You shook your head no taking a shaky breath to keep yourself from crying. Upon seeing this, Fred gripped you closely pulling you tight against his chest. You curled into him more holding onto him as if your life depended on it. Fred slowly rubbed your back and stayed silent. “It’s ok, dear. I’m here for you,” you pulled away staring into his eyes. Both of you slowly inched closer to each other, your faces only centimeters apart. Your noses brushed against each other briefly before he closed the distance between the two of you. The kiss was sweet, slow, and loving. “I love you,” you breathed out when the two of you pulled away from each other. Your heart stopped for a moment ‘Crap. I shouldn’t have said that. Why did I say that?“ you thought frantically before hearing an excited laugh from beside you. You turned to Fred, and your fear disappeared when you saw his face. A toothy grin stretched across his face, eyes shining with glee, as he pulled you into a tight hug, “I love you too, (Y/N).” Your heart melted. You turned his head to face you and kissed him deeply. The softness and sweetness of the last kiss was gone. This kiss was desperate, all of your raw emotions and slight drunkenness driving you to kiss Fred with everything you had. You straddled his lap and began to kiss down his neck. A soft groan left his mouth as you nipped at his collarbone. Fred quickly removed his shirt exposing his toned chest. You licked your lips as your hands ran down his chest and stomach. Relishing in the way his muscles rippled and flexed beneath your touch. “Your turn,” he stated with a boyish smirk as you pulled your top over your head. His hand rose to cup your breast through your bra squeezing lightly. You unclipped your bra and slid it off your chest, exposing yourself to him. He looked at you with complete adoration as he gently kissed you. The soft passion returned and for a moment you not sat together enjoying your kiss. Fred’s hands ran down from their places on your waist and slowly unbuttoned your pants. You quickly stood and removed your pants and panties while he removed his on the bed. With your last articles of clothing removed, you crawled back on to Fred’s lap positioning yourself above his erect member. You gently lowered yourself down on to him, pulling a gasp and low moan from his bruised lips. His hands ran along your body and stopped on your hips. He began to guide you up and down his member thrusting up in time with you. You gripped onto his hair pulling him as close as possible to you. You moaned and panted as his member brushed against your g-spot, nails scraping down his back. Fred let soft moans escape along with his praises, “You’re so beautiful, (Y/N). Oh dear, I love you so much.” He cried out while he pulled your hips down into his harder and faster than before. “Fred. I’m really close,” he didn’t respond, instead opting to suck on your neck and leave a dark, purple bruise. All of the sensations you felt accumulated into one burst of pleasure as you cried out. Your walls clenched around Fred, leading him to his own powerful orgasm. Waves upon waves of pleasure slowly covered you until you felt only small sparks of pleasure. Fred lifted your form off his lap and laid you back on the bed. His ginger hair clinging to his forehead. He laid down next to you and placed your head upon his chest. He kissed the crown of your head lovingly while slowly stroking your back. “I love you, (Y/N),” he whispered as you snuggled closer into his side perfectly content where you were, not even considering the possibility of your roommates entering the scene. Frankly you didn’t care, because what started as a drunken and emotional night, became the best night of your life so far.

Aaaaaaah! Thank you soooo much for requesting, and your kind words. I hope you liked the fic and that it was what you were hoping for. Thanks for reading!

Being mature is looking deep within yourself and figuring out what’s wrong with you. Not to pick at yourself and be unkind to your spirit. But to heal what was left unloved & broken. I have issues, I do. Everyday I run into something that teaches me there’s more I have to work on but I never stop to tear myself apart. I love myself too much to not heal myself properly before allowing any more damage to undo my progress. If I want to cry, I cry. If I am angry, I breathe.
I never go backwards. There’s nothing there for me.

GIF Reaction When you want to die and you are very sad and crying.

Thank you for your request :) i hope you like it <3

JHOPE : “No please don’t say that” *Pulls you into a tight hug* “I love you more then anything and if you left i wouldn’t know what to do! Please i will do anything to make you laugh and smile you just need to believe in me”

SUGA : “Babe…i never knew you were so upset….im sorry i didn’t notice sooner! But don’t worry from here on out i will never let you cry alone and i will never let you die! I’m always here for you! Never forget that, and never forget you are loved”

V : *holds you tightly in his arms as tears roll down his face* “I never sorry I've failed you as a best friend and a boyfriend! I will never let this happen! What can i do? is there anything that i can do that can help you smile and lift the pain from your heart? Please tell me..”

JIN : “NO! i never want to hear those words from your beautiful mouth! You are amazing and you are loved! i would never let you do that to yourself you are far to important to me! please believe when i say this…I love you and I’m here for you!”

JUNGKOOK : “Oh my gosh…Y/N…i never knew….im so sorry! is there anything i can do? I don’t want you to feel sad or cry! And i don't want you to kill yourself” *kisses your forehead sweetly* “Please i love you more then anything and i will do anything to help you”

RAP MONSTER : “I’m so sorry…i never knew you felt this way Y/N.. i should have been there for you more! that’s going to change! im going to be by your side as much as i can! I know its hard and you may not believe me but……It is going to get better and i will be by your side the whole way through”

JIMIN : “WHAT?!? Y/N I’m sorry im sorry im sorry!! i cant believe I’ve been so blind!” *pulls you into a tight hug* “I’m going to make up for everything! for every tear that has fallen down your face while i wasn’t hear i will make you laugh and smile 10x i will make you feel better..i will share the pain in your please….Don’t say you want to die.”

~ ADMIN Abbie

i hope you liked that! :)

IF u guys were wondering, which i know you weren’t but that’s fine and im gonna tell u all anyway, this is the framing that made me cry the other night during a rewatch and why i decided to sorta analyze it more

(this is not an emotional scene, my tears were literally only because of the way this shot is framed)

film ramblings under the cut so that this post isn’t COMPLETELY pointless

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