no more cruelty

I once got into a grudging Nice Off with a neighbour.  This crotchety old bastard had moved in across from my grandma and within a week became legendary for his sniping about every tiny thing.  Kids sitting on their front steps weren’t respectful.  Someone’s cat got into his yard.  The mailman stopped in front of his parking space for two seconds.  The man was impossible.

So I baked him a cake.  Not like a Duncan Hines box cake either.  I made an angel food cake with whipped cream and strawberries between the layers and lemon buttercream frosting entirely from scratch.  I was and still am crap at cake decorating, but pale yellow frosting with star shaped sprinkles on top looks pretty good no matter how uncoordinated you are.  Then I put on my nicest clothes, marched over, and apologised for not welcoming him to the neighbourhood sooner.

He slammed the door in my face.  Then the next day he came over with cookies.  I offered to mow his lawn.  He told me he wouldn’t pay me then invited me in for lemonade.  I took him cupcakes I had “accidentally” made too many of.  He loaned me a book on Irish history.  I read him the newspaper.  He (rudely) told me how to improve my English presentation.  I raked up his leaves.  He told me stories about his time in Korea.  Eventually the fucker gave in and actually started being half-way pleasant.

Aries: I envy you. I envy your courage, your stupidity and your childishness. Maybe you’re asking “Why?” Well, wouldn’t it be beautiful if we were all children at heart, like you? Like seeing things so horrible yet still making corny jokes? Like telling your feelings, like running until your feet hurt? Like purity, like innocence mixed with knowledge? You have experienced the world, you have experienced life. And yet, you still stand here. Brave and tall. As if to say “I am not afraid of life. I am not afraid to live.”

Taurus: I will always associate you with flowers and colours. With lilies and roses and blood oranges. I will always associate you with fruit and red-green-yellow. We will speak in colours, talk in words others won’t understand. With red-grey sand and blue-green eyes. An encouraging nod, a hug with clasping hands. Words left unspoken simply ‘cause they were never meant to be said, they were meant to be. They were meant to be. Plucking petals like a grade schooler playing games about love. Holding a magnifying glass over your head, and I could not find a flaw. I just saw you. I saw you.

Gemini: While you drink in the melodies of everyone’s laughter. The ghosts find a new home inside your body. A facade of performance, masking out true emotions. While the hallways turn vacant and your ghosts shut the doors. The voices leave the room empty, the emptiness in your chest weighing like a brick worth thousands of golden bricks. I cannot put a price on your heart, I don’t know its colours. I don’t know its voice. Or the three albums you have on repeat over the summer, or the songs you dance to at night. Simply because you are you, unique, mysterious and beautiful.

Cancer: You are a puzzle and I am not your missing peace, I don’t own it. But you do. You make up your own being. Maybe you left it in your back pocket, next to the shattered dreams or under the pillars you build when you were eight years old. The ones you made to put your broken home on, searching for stability in broken mirrors. I will linger in my map of you and I swear that even when I get back it leads back to you. It always leads back to you. To that little house with orange paint on the walls from ten years ago. With the nicotine sticking to a once white ceiling and some kind of animals running around. The dusty photographs will still stand on the desk. You will still sit on that one spot, with teary eyes and crossed legs. And you will still be beautiful.

Leo: I could never describe your beauty. Your beauty cannot be multiplied, it can only be remembered, treasured, envied, appreciated or regretted. And by remembered I mean that when you feel like you are just another extra in someone’s life that they will mention you to their parents during dinner. They will talk about your shining personality and sparkling eyes. By treasured I am talking about that “the one” experience which you deserve. A treasure filled with all things unique and irreplaceable. One that’s filled with happiness. By envied I am talking about the eyes you do not see, or do not wish to see. Or don’t notice. You stand out in a crowd, especially when you don’t think you are. By appreciated I am talking about the ones who see your true you, your tangled hair and cracked lips. The ones who still stay even through the bad times. By regretted I am talking about the people who did not see your beauty until you blossomed. I understand why you find cocoons beautiful now, and how you like caterpillars just as much as butterflies.

Virgo: Snow litters on untouched skin. Sun rains through the cracks of the darkness even where you hide. I could hear you talking every day. Forever. With delicate fingers and blushed cheeks. Your hair untamed and your fingers bruised to the bone. Delicately logical. The edges of the leafs of oak trees remind me of your way of thinking. The overhang reminds me of your mind. Which casts shadows over the villagers in the houses you build where colourless souls reside. You are so often in debate with your own head, at war with your own body. Never at peace, always restless. Always asking, “but why?” I don’t know. You like it, don’t you? Parading around in your own world? Sweet little soul in a world full of pain.

Libra: The bell of the church echoed through your head a little longer than it should’ve. It never was nice. We never played nice. We talked until our lips were dry and I stayed home when you were out cold. But memories don’t matter anymore do they darling? In this orchestra of harmonious noises where you are the leader of everything nothing can hurt you. I don’t know, I don’t know. And goddamnit I know you will try to push everything on yourself again. You always do. That’s just how you work. Why don’t you warm your hands on your own body for once? You don’t need another person to feel like you’re loved, you only need one. One whole, full, true person.

Scorpio: Everything seems darker these days. Charcoal coloured clouds are a daily thing. And your arms are always covered up along with your legs. Even in the summer the nights don’t seem as enchanting. Not when small bruises shaped like the bumps of your knuckles litter on your thighs. Self destructive lullabies, “I just need a friend, for once in my life.” A desire for someone to stay ripped from your lips. So I stayed by your side wondering, if you wanted me to stay or needed me to stay. Of course I could say you remind me of scarlet blood and bathroom tiles. But you also remind of the river I used to play in when I was nine. You also remind me of the necklace I got when my grandmother passed away. You remind me of memories, the good, the bad, the in-between. You remind me of life. Please keep on living.

Sagittarius: The reason that I didn’t cry when you left was because crying means letting go, or so you said. And I don’t want to let you go. I want you to be a part of me, forever. But I can’t do that, you would rot in the hell hole that is my mind. I can’t put you through more cruelty. I hate how I am the reason you cry on bad nights, do you still wonder if I miss you? I do. I do. I do. Regret was stronger than appreciation. But you’re so fucking strong. Your eyes still shine even when you’re sad. You think no one likes you yet you know that’s not true. You’re the reason I am alive. You let me experience pain, beauty, emotion. You let me live. You’re so much more than enough, sometimes I can’t even handle who you are. You are dazzling. But you could never control your heart, it always wandered over the streets of other people’s bodies.

Capricorn: When the sun sets over mountains and the houses made of glass shatter I will still see your name in the sky in neon lights. The little bugs in our home always wanted to be friends with you. They always say on the tip of your nose with gentle smiles. I never envied you, I wish I treasured you. You are so simplistic and nice. Nice. Too underrated for your own good, no? Aren’t we all. Your hands will still be remembered by those you touched. You always leave some kind of mark that they don’t want to wash off. You have that affect on people. You make them drown their thoughts and hold their breath when you walk into a room. You are an old soul, you know. Why? You just do. Because you’re you. And nothing can change that or the late nights, the slowness or the fastness in your walk doesn’t matter for the right people. They will walk for you until they have blathers on their toes. If they don’t you know what to do.

Aquarius: Swirls of icy wind are always your accomplice. Your cold, and beautiful; like snow. The wires always stick to your senses, they get stuck in between your backbone. They twist around your spine and plug into the back of your brain. You let other people control you like you’re a mindless puppet. I think the wires got the best of you. Whenever you speak your mind it says something beautiful and unique. You are original, not ordinary. I am sorry they teach you that being unique is bad and that you have to fit into this ‘ordinary’ world as an ‘ordinary’ person. Nothing is ordinary about you, not even your name. Your name says who you are as a person, if someone asks me to define you I will simply say your name, the definition of your personality is your name. Because your name is unique and so is your personality. Don’t let other people control you.

Pisces: The imaginary butterflies with the raven black wings told me about you. They tell me that your head is in a universe they have never seen, with all things beautiful and all things bad. They see you crying with your knees tugged up sometimes, hands in your hair as you hide beneath sheets of darkness. You write poetry with the blood in the sink and make galaxies with the stars you find inside other people their eyes. A gentle smile always embraces your lips, “So happy, yet so sad” they say. A mask is something you believe is beautiful, but I believe you are beautiful. The real you. Not the you who cautiously walks over this realm of sadness. Your moonlit hair is so silky, your sunlit eyes are so sad. Chin up little soldier.

—  Letters to the zodiac signs
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Malec Appreciation Week: Day 4 - An underappreciated scene
Official petition for Magnus to start referring to the bow and quiver as his in casual conversation

Letters To The Zodiac Signs

Aries: I envy you. I envy your courage, your stupidity and your childishness. Maybe you’re asking “Why?” Well, wouldn’t it be beautiful if we were all children at heart, like you? Like seeing things so horrible yet still making corny jokes? Like telling your feelings, like running until your feet hurt? Like purity, like innocence mixed with knowledge? You have experienced the world, you have experienced life. And yet, you still stand here. Brave and tall. As if to say “I am not afraid of life. I am not afraid to live.”

Taurus: I will always associate you with flowers and colours. With lilies and roses and blood oranges. I will always associate you with fruit and red-green-yellow. We will speak in colours, talk in words others won’t understand. With red-grey sand and blue-green eyes. An encouraging nod, a hug with clasping hands. Words left unspoken simply ‘cause they were never meant to be said, they were meant to be. They were meant to be. Plucking petals like a grade schooler playing games about love. Holding a magnifying glass over your head, and I could not find a flaw. I just saw you. I saw you.

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6

Now, don’t you worry about my strength. I have plenty.

6

Knights of Walpurgis―
They were a motley collection; a mixture of the weak seeking protection, the ambitious seeking some shared glory, and the thuggish gravitating toward a leader who could show them more refined forms of cruelty.

Mikasa meets the cruel world: Attack on Titan in a nutshell

More intelligent people than me have probably pointed this out long before me, but it still amazes me how much Mikasa’s upbringing truly is a metaphor for the entire series.

We start of with this carefree, peaceful family living in this isolated cabin in the woods, distanced from the outside. A comfortable existence, but their family is well aware that beyond their warm home lie problems: the Ackerman clan is still thought to be prosecuted, and Asians are sought by traffickers for their rare appearance and blood–they’re a different race, and this is useful to some.

And then one peace is interrupted: three men break in, destroying comfort and killing innocent people, and they’re there solemnly because of the physical aspects of the family, their rare appearance. Through this experience, Mikasa lost her hope and will to live, and also got to understand the cruel nature of the world she lived in. 

And then, a sudden event that changed the course of that day. The young Eren Jaeger barges in, takes out the oppressive intruders, and most importantly, restores hope to her. Just like the kidnappers, Eren came from outside of her world…but instead of bringing her more cruelty, Eren brought Mikasa a way to go against said cruelty–to fight back. The world is cruel and brutal and it crushes the weak–thus, the only way to survive is to fight back against the oppression–and that’s what Mikasa proceeds to do.

This precise event can be translated with total accuracy into the entirety of the story–it’s the exact same thing the walled world went through. The walldians lived in peace and comfort (more or less), isolated from the rest of the world, because the outside meant danger for them. We’ve always known this danger to be the titans–the basement taught us the reality though. The entire outside world has a pre-determined relationship with the walldians–not because of who, but because of what they are. Some see them as danger and want them extinct for safety measures, some see them as useful tools for their own purposes. 

Does this sound familiar? Ackermans are prosecuted because they’re a danger to the kings rule, and Asians are sought after because their origin makes them different. Mikasa’s family is a metaphor for all walldians, for all those wanted dead by the world or used as weapons in Marley’s titan army. Their situation is identical too: they live excluded from the outside world, in a pseudo-peace, which is one day interrupted by the arrival of three outsiders (kidnappers, RBA). Through their actions, those outsiders remind the inhabitants of the cruel, oppressive world they find themselves in (a grim reminder). And then, another outsider appears, restoring hope and teaching the oppressed how to free themselves: to fight. This is Eren when he barges into the cabin, and Grisha, originally from beyond the walls. when he entrusts the founding and attack titans to Eren, who would later become humanities hope and, in some way, inspires them to fight back. Both of these stories are perfect parallels.

It’s also definitely not a coincidence that the Eren-saves-Mikasa flashback was included in Isayama’s first draft of chapter 1, in flashback format. All the dialogue about Mikasa being part of a nearly extinct, different race, and Eren telling her to fight back, were there from day one. In the present time she even says that she believes Eren has the strength to overcome the world’s issues and bring hope to mankind–an even stronger parallel between her situation and all of walldia. 

Heck, it certainly isn’t a coincidence either that, during ch 14, primordial desire, aka humanities first ever victory against oppression and the first climax of the story, Eren flashes back to that very moment

On one hand it sets up other humans, aka Marley as antagonists, who’re oppressing Paradis due to the blood flowing through its inhabitants. At the same time, it redraws all the parallels mentioned beforehand by straight up comparing humanities struggle to that struggle in the woods. 

These two panels really affirm everything I mentioned above–Mikasa’s “origin story” is it’s own microcosm that foretells the entire core struggle of the series: Eldians seeking freedom from oppression. And the fact that such an early scene remains a total metaphor to the story even 90 chapters and a ton of plot twists and revelations later, just goes to show how much of a thought out story attack on titan has been for the longest time. 

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Here’s a look I did I sprinted by this fan art by @yamino “Garnet” Full Details on my Instagram ! @makeup_with_mai !

anonymous asked:

Heya, I'm new to the whole punk culture ('cos I'm young, naive and sheltered :/), but I was wondering if you could give me a rundown of what punk stands for. Like what's important, what's not, what's punk, what's not etc? I just wanna be punk and help change the world.

Punk is loving the oppressed and fighting against the oppressors. That’s putting it simply. Being punk is taking affirmative action whichever way you can to fight against the injustices authority, the government, social norms, and laws have given us. It’s standing up for what’s right while rockin some studded leather.

-mod kip

Struggling

Aries: “I’m so tired.  I’m so exhausted.  I want to stop so badly, but if I do, what’s to stop me from remaining stagnant?”

Taurus: “Which pain is greater, the thorns I feel by holding onto you, or the blood which pours out if I allow you to leave?”

Gemini: “Memories were the songs I heard you sing, the smiles you let my eyes enjoy, the embrace you allowed me to feel.  Forget.  I want to forget.  I can’t.”

Cancer: “Are you genuinely happy to see me, or is it a facade?  I think deep down I know, but I’d rather play the fool than to play the broken-hearted.”

Leo: “I don’t want to drown so I know what it’s like to breathe again, to walk through the fire to appreciate the ground that used to be beneath my feet.” 

Virgo: “To die is to forget what I feel right now.  In this moment, I’m happy, I’m smiling, I’m alive.  Don’t let me take this away from me.”

Libra: “I can’t afford to ask me why you left, I’m left with no one, I am alone, I am incomplete.  I have to deal with this now.” 

Scorpio: “I need to control everything so badly.  People say tyranny is the greatest danger, but what of the unpredictable?” 

Sagittarius: “You’ll find that too often to understand someone’s opinion is at the expense of compromising your own.  There’s something so addictively empowering in being wrong but in being confident.”

Capricorn: “You didn’t have to tell me the truth, that I wasn’t worthy anymore.  You could have just told me you didn’t love my anymore.” 

Aquarius: “Do I need you to complete me, or am I using you to fill in the empty parts of me?”

Pisces: “I can’t romanticize it anymore.  To feel everything so intensely, it doesn’t make my heart any wiser, only more aware of your cruelty”

The Dreamers

A concept that came to me, after reading few stories and thinking of old legends of human servants. Probably inspired bit by Loyalists of Changeling the Lost. Hope it is good enough.

________________________________________________________________________

You know of The Knights.  Those who lost too much, and decided to reclaim what was theirs, or at least to extract vengeance. Those that lost too little, but decided to help others, or at least protect themselves. Wreathed in iron and salt, proud descendants-in spirit, and sometimes blood-  of chemistry majors that stormed Underhill and saved their professor. Children of new world, where Gentry have been gone for too long, humans who can and will fight, instead of cowering and trebling in darkness.

It is often said of Others that their deeds are grand and shallow, while those of humans are far less extraordinary but infinitely more honest. Fair Folk’s cruelty is sharp and cold thing, which no mortal can stomach. Their kindness is fleeting and hard to understand, and it pales in comparison to unbridled depth of generosity and altruism of mortal spirit, that gives without second thought, that reads sad story and cries even if it is fictional, that will let themselves be run over by car to save unfamiliar child and expect nothing in return

But it works other way too.

Cruelty of fair Folk is misunderstood, unmeant thing, given and thrown without  care (nor possibility) to understand mortal minds. But even most vindictive of Gentry cannot summon sheer strength and conviction of mortal hatred, that burning, horrible thing that takes and breaks without rules, without excuse or debts, so convinced it is their right, that will whip somebody for being different and call it justice. Kindness of Others may have to be earned, or come at cost, or feel hollow, but it is always magnificent, and unforgettable, and true-they do not lie, after all.

And after all, the Others always demand recompensation, the price, the balance. Humans have their knights. Fae have their dreamers.

They are less famous, for they are much more subtle. They aren’t nearly as well organized (for their loyalty is personal to few fae, not all), but more cunning. They are just as driven and just as dangerous.

Triple-taken. Enthralled. Silver servants.Too-much-lost. By those few that know of them, they are known as The Dreamers. Humans broken, exploited and abandoned by their own kind, saved and nurtured and protected by fey. Some are servants, others are pets. Some are beloved, whether as fiends or family or lovers, while others are viewed as charitable, helpful workers and partners worthy of praise (and most dangerous are ones who are worshippers of fae, who have been broken too much or seen too deep in Else to be anything else).

They are tragic people, most often those who are abused and forgotten, who should have perished but didn’t. Ones who were in such desperate situations that only miracle could save them. And in sense, it did. Fae swooped down, with their magic and wonder and not quite right forms, motivated either by debt or curiosity or simply because they saw something extraordinary in mortal and didn’t want to see it extinguished. And such acts revived lost spirits, inflamed their hearts with fires of loyalty, too hot and  too strong to be extinguished by anything but death. For freedom and kindness and right to again dream their own dreams, those humans swore fealty of their own will to a fae.

There is no magic, no manipulation on part of fae. Such thing doesn’t make Dreamer, but a slave. No, life must willingly be relinquished, choice freely made, to become a Dreamer. Still free, still as human as they were before, but loyal and capable to death.

You will find those stories wherever you look if you are careful enough. Neandhertal elders, left in snow by their tribes for they were too old, too expensive, brought to safety and warmth and full belly by strange shining creatures, half animals, half men of gold and dew.

Girls suffering under (step)mothers and fathers and uncles and sisters, made to work and told they are ugly and stupid and not good enough,made in queens by glass slippers or diamond falling out of their mouth thanks to old (old as trees, as rain and seasons) godmothers wielding strange wands.

Children bullied, beaten for being different from their peers, healed and protected by beasts from shadows.

Women imprisoned in their own homes, trapped by lack of money and false love finding their their husbands banished and their bruises healed by living flame and swirling winds.

Boys left to die by muggers or sadists and false, jealous friends, abandoned on road or in deep shadows of wood or beneath lakes, carried under the hill and almost revived by beautiful things that obey alien geometrics and wear colors unknown to human eyes.

“Weirdos” and outcasts whipped and imprisoned in churches and temples by enemies they didn’t know they had or friends that should have cared, set free and hidden by handsome men garbed in leaves and with cat’s eyes.

They live for and because of and with fae that saved them, becoming stronger, healthier, more confident-and less and less bound to mortality, bonds with their own kind weakened by misery and gratitude and magic that encompasses all Others touch. Their agents in mortal , their hands that can withstand iron and salt and whatever belief of land calls protection.Sometimes they simply take care of fae’s household, or bring them nice treats from above. Sometimes they are messengers, or guardians of beloved locations where space isn’t yet thin enough. And sometimes, they are seducers and intermeditaries of deals, and sometimes yet, agents that Take other mortals.

Those who know of them either hate or pity fate of Dreamers (and most often both). But The Dreamers themselves are happy and satisfied with their lives, with beauty and magic and truth and justice and so much (beautiful,terrifying,strange, confusing) that they receive. And if you want to get rid of them, well…

Look out for your fellow humans, and think what life must look like when a Good Neighbor is best thing that happened to us.

Now, tell me where are my Good friend’s belongings.

x

10

“I said I wanted you alive” 

Echo cares. You can see that. You can see the sadness and shock on her face seeing what she did. (okay, let’s be honest, Echo’s leg was injured and Octavia kinda semi-skewered herself on Echo’s sword…Echo was pretty shocked it happened.). Also, Echo didn’t have to say “yu gonplei este odon” to Octavia, which is honoring her death btw. Echo cares. And you could see that in the end scene too with Bellamy. She cares, but has lived in a world in which it is forced out of them…seen as weakness. Echo grew up Azgeda and suffered even more cruelty and was exposed and made to do worse things than any other “warrior” on the show. However, you saw in s2 her heart and you can still see it slipping through in these moments as she tries to put her Ruthless Azegeda facade back on. 

anonymous asked:

Do you have personal headcanons for how the choi twins would be if their dad raised them? I feel like their mom made him out to be a demon, but what if he was just worried about his kids living with a wild alcoholic, y'know?? Maybe he'd raise then in secrecy or pass them on to a respected friend? Anyone BUT their mom D:

I have to admit anonny, this has been one of my favorite requests that I’ve ever written! This is such an interesting idea and, as you can tell by the long length, I had a lot of fun writing this one! I was also in a more angsty mood since like you said, Saeyoung and Saeran deserve to be raised by anyone other then their mother because screw her! Anyways, I sincerely hope that you enjoy!! ^^


Seven and Unknown 

  • The Choi’s father had always kept a close eye on Saeyoung and Saeran not because he wanted them eliminated, but because he was worried for them
  • He had some of his men report to him that their mother, his former lover, had become an abusive alcoholic who was clearly unfit to raise the twins
  • So one day when the twins were about eleven years old, their father gathered enough evidence to use in court against his former lover
  • He barged into the shabby home one day with plenty of his men to find their mother brutally beating Saeran while Saeyoung was trying desperately to shield his brother
  • The twin’s father’s stomach twisted into knots as he saw how malnourished the boys looked coupled with severe red marks from beatings that decorated their skin and a look in their eyes that could only be desrcibed as pure fear
  • It all happened in a blur for the twins, one minute their mother was beating them, the next she was taken away by police, then they suddenly found themselves walking into the enormous mansion that was known as their father’s home
  • Saeyoung looked around suspiciously as he kept Saeran close to him, his brother looking frightened as he hid behind his twin, clinging desperately onto his shoulder
  • It truly broke their father’s heart to see his twins like this but he had a feeling that their fear of him was from more than their mother’s cruelty
  • So he crouched down to meet their eye level, Saeyoung defensively holding his brother behind him while Saeran jumped as their father asked them why they were so scared
  • “It’s because mother told us that you were trying to kidnap us and then kill us. She said that we would ruin your chances of becoming an elected official if word ever got out about us.”
  • Saeyoung’s words cut deep into his father’s heart, the guilt of leaving them with their mother was becoming overwhelming
  • That night, their father led them into their own separate rooms to sleep in but Saeran started crying that he didn’t want to sleep alone so when the boy’s father checked on them in the middle of the night, he found Saeran wrapped protectively in Saeyoung’s arms as the two slept soundly
  • After much consideration, their father decided to raise them in secrecy until he could find them a proper family to live with
  • He noticed that his boys were still uncomfortable around him so he had his staff take care of them while he watched from afar
  • The twin’s father watched in awe at how much food they ate, how much they slept, and just how much Saeyoung and Saeran truly loved each other
  • He let Saeyoung, now accompanied by Saeran, go to church with security guards and saw how they met a couple, a petite girl with blonde hair and a tall man with pastel blue hair
  • While the twins were always on guard around their father, they both slowly started realizing that their mother may have been telling them lies about their father
  • Their father let them live as normal as a life as he could, but as the twins grew older he realized that it was becoming tougher to keep their existence hidden
  • When Saeyoung and Saeran were seventeen years old, their father told them that he bought them a small house for them to live in together
  • He also enlisted the help of Rika and V, the twin’s church friends, to watch over them and even let them join the RFA
  • On the day of their departure, the twin’s father looked at his boys with a look that was sadden mixed with pride
  • Their father placed a hand on each of their shoulders, secretly happy that neither boy flinched, and told them how sorry he was for not helping them sooner and how he couldn’t spend more time with them
  • Saeyoung thanked their father for all that he did as Saeran agreed, both of them having small smiles forming on their lips
  • From that day forward, the twin’s father secretly kept a close eye on his boys, incredibly proud of how they each became their own person as he prayed every night for the boys to find joy in their lives
  • Saeyoung and Saeran could never forget their haunting past when they were with their mother, however they both would always remember the good times that they spent together as their father saved them and for that, they would both be eternally grateful
Discovery: Matt meets a Paladin

Rating: T - gore

Pairings: None

Tags: Angst, Hurt & Comfort, Matt, Rescue Attempt


Matt stood up too fast, heart pounding wildly. He had to bend over quickly to prevent his head rush and hunger from making him pass out. He breathed once, twice, and rose again, making his way to the far side of the pit.

Another human in the general population cell. Another human… It had been months since his father had been taken to the infirmary, feverish and sick from the regular horrors the Druids inflicted on them, hoping for one of them to crack.

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Rough-draft-ish timeline for book 1! BTW if you are visual like me, the closest we get to a calendar year for All For the Game is 2006/2007. It’s not 100% accurate, because not all of the dates match up perfectly throughout the whole series, but this is the closest one, with only a few dates off. It diverges in June, so I kept to the book for the rest of June because dates were easy to track; it meets back up with the calendar year in August and so far as I’ve checked sticks pretty close to it for the rest of the series?? The games do at least??

In the days that were too eventful (or I just typed too much for them), I underline the important parts tumblr removed my underlines?? i’ll think of something sorry!!, and for all of it I italicize direct quotes

The Foxhole Court Timeline - Rough Draft Edition

~Friday, April 7 (approx date): Wymack, Kevin, and Andrew come to Arizona to recruit Neil

Thursday, May 11: “Neil Josten” graduates HS

Friday, May 12: Andrew picks Neil up from the airport, he meets Nicky, Aaron, and Abby, sees the court for the first time, moves in with Wymack

Saturday, May 13: Andrew nearly stabs Nicky, Neil exhausts himself trying to score on Andrew

-it gets approximate again here bc it says 5 weeks should pass but only 4 do, so I’m using context to close out the gaps-

~Tuesday, May 30: Neil goes to the court at night for the first time & finds Andrew and Kevin there; Andrew shows Neil the knives hidden in his armbands, beautiful lines such as “exy is just slightly less boring than living is” and “I’m not a math problem” “I’ll still solve you” and “this was a dream he’d have to wake up from eventually” occur

~Wednesday, May 31: Wymack tells Kevin about the district transfer, tells Neil about the Moriyamas, Neil considers running but decides to stay until the match against the Ravens

Thursday, June 1: Raven’s district transfer effective

*Sunday, June 9: foxes move into Fox Tower, Matt offers to kick Kevin’s ass for Neil (and actually does until Andrew stops him), Dan and Renee give Neil tea and cookies like the princesses they are, Andrew goes through Neil’s stuff, Andrew admits for murder w/ no chill instance #1, Neil has a lot of panic attacks and fits of dissociation and decides again to stay because “one of us has to make it” and he’s decided to pick Kevin’s life over his

*Wednesday, June 12: Seth punches Kevin as soon as Andrew leaves for his meeting with Bee

*Friday, June 14: Columbia & all that that disaster entails

*Saturday, June 15: Neil hops out the window, calls Matt to ask him to watch his stuff, hitchhikes/walks home, tells Andrew half (most) of the truth, ends on “Hope was a dangerous and disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

*Monday, June 17: Kevin comes to take Neil to night practice, but Matt and Seth send him away

*Tuesday, June 18: first night practice!!, “the master?” “Coach Moriyama”; Matt waits up for Neil like the precious and pure human he is

*Wednesday, June 19: Nicky asks Aaron (in German) if he thinks Neil will ever forgive them (it’s literally been 4 days, he needs to chill), and Neil realizes that Andrew didn’t tell the others he can speak German and wonders why

*Friday, June 21: ERC makes the official announcement about Edgar Allen’s district transfer; Seth says my person favorite of his lines: “Tell me, when’s the last time anyone cried for you?”

Wednesday, August 23: Team psych evals w Bee

Thursday, August 24: First day of classes, Matt wakes Neil up for practice and the following killer exchange happens: “I’m fine.” “You say that an awful lot.”

Friday, August 25: Game day, all of the upperclassmen take turns walking Neil to/from classes, Seth and Allison sit with him at lunch and tell him about the Renee/Andrew betting pool, Neil finds out Andrew goes sober on game nights, Nicky apologises for the Columbia thing 

GAME V BRECKENRIDGE JACKALS: Seth and Kevin fight on court 13 minutes into the game (no one took Nicky’s bet so he doesn’t win anything), Neil goes in at 20 minutes for Seth (”Hey Pinnocchio, time to run. This one’s for you.”), Matt punches Gorilla for Kevin and then runs and hides behind Andrew for safety (these nerds are such children I love them), Neil begins to feel a burning hatred for the jackals: “Gorilla had been trying to hurt Kevin’s hand his first day back on the court, which was unbelievably cruel. Neil hoped Matt had bruised some ribs with that punch.”; Neil scores his first goal!!; final score 7-9 loss (not bad tbh), and then the upperclassmen/Neil stay up all night partying like the nerds they are, I love these kids

Saturday, August 26: Kathy’s show, Neil’s 1st time on the bus, “Kevin’s smile was a brittle and bitter thing”; Kevin threatens to cut Neil off from night practices to force him to go on Kathy’s show (and Andrew laughs and calls Neil an idiot); “As complicated as Neil’s obsession with Kevin was, one truth was undeniable: he didn’t want Kevin to hate him.”; “I think of you as one half of a whole.” “At least I have room to stretch out now.” that is a SAVAGE BURN coming from Kevin wow; but then fuckface Riko appears, fuck him 5ever; “Renee was sitting sideways in Andrew’s lap, one foot braced against the ground to keep him from shoving her off”; Neil insults Riko on national television because “his temper couldn’t stomach any more of Riko’s cruelty”; Neil is actually afraid of Riko a little/lot because “Riko had the same stare that his father did: he looked at Neil and saw only flesh that knew how to bleed”; Andrew puts himself between Riko and Neil <3; back at home Andrew punches through his window; “Oh Neil, as unpredictable as he is unreal” wow Andrew you’re falling in love already aren’t you??; “running was only an option when no one was looking” & “You gave your game to Kevin. Give your back to me.”; Columbia: “Let Andrew buy you things if he wants to. He’s not usually the gift-giving type.” & “You’re one of us, which means we’ll never push you farther than you’re willing to go.” ; Andrew disappears for 30 minutes (so he goes and does the do with Roland in the back room!!!); Wymack calls with the news about Seth’s overdose (Andrew, Kevin, and Neil have too much chill about this news “keep up with the conversation” “what about the lineup” “that apathy doesn’t bode well for your sanity”); Andrew gives Neil the key

-end of book 1-

Book 1 covers 18 specific days days and spans ~5months

so @coldsaturn @glenflower and @unidentified-flying-outrage here’s the first draft!

anonymous asked:

its kind of funny that some think that last ch is the worst thing that happened in the manga bc its not, but for the first ishida is not hinting what happened but showing it, just in the tsukiyama arc kijima viciously tortured 2 servants of the tsukiyama family and hairu slaughtered those who tried to buy time for tsukiyamas escape (to the point it make haise feel disturbed) and last arc furuta and co. killed the washuu, last ch may be disturbing but is not the worst by far

This is an interesting point.

Ishida has been far more explicit in showing Mutsuki’s crimes, which makes them so shocking. And of course, selecting issues that absolutely will upset the audience more – animal cruelty and sexual violence.

But Ishida has an entire cast of characters that have done horrible things. So many in the cast have committed acts of mutilation, torture, abuse, or thrill-killing without a second thought. We just usually don’t…….get as much graphic detail.

Juuzou mutilated ghouls to a horrifying degree during his introduction arc, but we didn’t /see/ the results of his actions.

Tsukiyama routinely predated in all kinds of ways other ghouls considered “sick” and “twisted”, but we didn’t get much detail on it.

Chie can watch people being maimed, tormented, tortured, and killed without blinking. She’s utterly detached from the suffering of others, and doesn’t find it horrifying as a normal person would.

Eto engaged in all sorts of sadistic and horrible actions, destroying bodies and minds. 

Takizawa killed and ate people he knew.

Everyone is incredibly fucked up in this series, and few are without some blame. It’s mostly that Ishida has chosen to manipulate our emotions this time around, through showing us graphic detail and using things that are harder to deal with.

If Percy had fallen into Tartarus on his own headcannon

Okay so basically I saw this thing on Instagram and it was a screenshot of a tumblr post about how Percy would have turned out if he fell to Tartarus on his own.  here’s my little addition to it. The initial post will be at the end (i suggest reading it first)

imagine everyone at CHB and CJ fearing Percy, even though they still respect him a little something has changed drastically and the campers don’t know what to do.  After a few months the older kids from CHB starting to think he’ll be a repeat of Luke but worse. All the older kids quietly discussing things from the past and how they’re worried for everyone’s safety when a younger kid/ someone from Camp Jupiter hears them and starts to ask questions. They all look at the table in shame and fear as they vaguely explain to them what happened which only instills more fear. None of them know but one of the seven overhears them and loses it (I feel like it would be Nico or Annabeth) on them because “Percy isn’t like Luke” and “he’s been through so much more than anyone will ever be able to imagine.” 

Unfortunately that doesn’t keep people from whispering when no who supports Percy is around to hear. They still talk and there’s nothing anyone can do because whenever the seven try to figure out who started the rumors the other campers cover for each other. 

Chiron tries his hardest to get through to Percy and to help him but every attempt moves Percy farther away. Percy can’t even think about his time in Tartarus without having to sit down away from people to calm down. So Chiron just settles for the tiniest snippets that he gets sometimes (most of the time its just a change in body language or Percy mumbling something when he’s not paying attention) and stays behind Percy like a wall to protect him from the cruelty of the campers and any of the gods that question him. 

Keep reading

misselizabeth530  asked:

Would you give me some book recs for fantasy? But, y'know, with some casual gays sprinkled in there? 🙏🏳️‍🌈

Sure! And rather than try to split this up by fantasy subgenres or or any of that nonsense (because, really, what’s the point? Fantasy is a gorgeous sprawling category that encompasses everything from Lord of the Rings to Percy Jackson) I’m going to rank these by what’s really important: how gay they are.

a good level of background gaydiation:

  • The Broken Earth Series, N.K. Jemisin - This is, I will admit, a fantasy book that does not feel like a fantasy book right away, because the magic is understood by the characters as a science more than anything else. I don’t think the m-word is even mentioned until the second book, The Obelisk Gate. It doesn’t read like a standard fantasy book at all, more like apocalyptic sci-fi, but Jemisin’s writing is unusual and gorgeous and she’s telling an important story of oppression. The oppression is based on magic rather than race, with those who can perform orogeny (basially earthbending) being considered monsters and subject to government ownership, and Jemisin the pain that generations of that dehumanization can cause, and the repercussions that come when someone finally decides to do something about it. Plus, it’s a fantasy world where almost every important character is black or brown, written by a black woman. How often do you see that?
    • The Gay: The gay really is casually sprinkled here; it’s presented in a very matter of fact way and really isn’t the focus of the story. One character’s backstory involves being in a happy poly relationship with a gay man and a bi man, and among the supporting cast is a trans wlw. The society in The Broken Earth is, obviously, deeply flawed, but being queer or trans doesn’t seem to be much of an issue.
  • The Graceling series, Kristin Cashore - Graceling, it’s indirect prequel Fire, and it’s sequel Bitterblue are probably some of the best fantasy YA books in existence, at least through a feminist lens. Cashore starts with a simple conceit in the first book - in this kingdom, some children are born with two different colored eyes and the magical ability to be Really Fucking Good at something. Graceling’s main character, Katsa, is really good at killing people. It doesn’t sound that deep, but all three books end up being about young women learning to define themselves rather than being what their society expects them to be. I especially adore the way Cashore handles teenage sexuality; none of the girls are shamed for being sexually active or losing their virginity. 
    • Graceling: Katsa, who as I said is super good at killing people, runs away from her douchebag uncle who makes her kill people for him, falls in love with Po, aka the only male YA love interest who has ever mattered, and fights some evil. 
      • Gay Rating: 0/10, only implied with two supporting characters
    • Fire: Fire, who is what’s known as a Monster - her hair and eyes are unnaturally colored, people are hypnotically drawn to her whether she wants it or not - becomes involved in some bangin’ political intrigue and some epic slow burn romance. 
      • Gay Rating: 3/10, Fire is technically bisexual but this is brought up exactly once and then never mentioned again.
    • Bitterblue: Bitterblue, whose father was a hardcore evil dick and also a king, is struggling to rule her kingdom and help people move on from her father’s cruelty. More political intrigue! 
      • Gay rating: 7/10. Male love interest is bisexual, supporting characters include nice lesbian couple, those two guys that you thought were gay in Graceling are totally gay and so in love.

Harold, they’re lesbians:

  • Carry On, Rainbow Rowell - Excuse me if you’ve already read this but holy fucking shit I will never in my life pass up an opportunity to promote this book. It’s a cleverly meta Harry Potter parody, that actually incorporates a lot of tumblr-like speculation about what Hogwarts would look like if the kids actually acted like kids and insisted on incorporating modern technology and values into magic. It also constructs its own world, system of magic, and characters in a sufficiently interesting way that it doesn’t feel like a cheap ripoff at all, is funny and emotional, and also THOSE BOYS ARE SO GAY. 12/10 SOMEONE HOLD ME.
  • Huntress, Malinda Lo - If you’ve been on my blog a while you may remember I have some mixed feelings about this book, but I understand that just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t mean it’s not for everyone. Huntress has two girls Going On A Quest and begrudgingly learning to like each other and then REALLY liking each other, all set in a world that interestingly blends East Asian culture with fairy mythology. 9/10, they gay.

I haven’t read these yet but I want to:

  • Ash, Malinda Lo - Sitting on myself right now, described by multiple people as “Cinderella but bi”.
  • The Seafarer’s Kiss, Julia Ember - Mermaids! Loki! Magic! Girls falling in love!
  • Labyrinth Lost, Zoraida Córdova - Witches! Ghosts! A bisexual love triangle!
  • Poison Kiss, Ana Mardoll - Evil fairies! ESCAPING from evil fairies! Bisexuality and polyamory!


(this list is super light on mlm main characters, there are no trans mains, and there are no ace characters to be seen, so if anybody has any recommendations for fantasy involving those identities, please let me know!)