no matter how many times i watch this i always feel my heart breaking a little bit inside

Soo… I saw Rogue One again last night on IMAX. Some random thoughts:

In the bunker while little Jyn waits for someone to get her, in the low glow of the lantern light, you can see her silent tears rolling down her face. At eight, she learned how to cry silently. I imagine that, until she saw her father’s holo on Jedha, from eight until twenty-two, it was the only way she ever cried if she cried at all: alone and without a sound.

I’ve been pronouncing Chirrut’s name wrong for months now. I’ve seen this movie twice before. His name is not a text post. What the hell is wrong with me?

You can see how much Jyn and Saw cared for each other when they reunite on Jedha. There’s a lot of hurt, but also a lot of love that never went away.

The looks on Baze and Bodhi’s faces when they see NiJedha destroyed breaks my heart. You see it pass through their eyes: their home is gone, everyone they ever knew is now dead; incinerated.

I got chills every time Cassian shouted “JYN!” because this guy has no chill and I love it.

Jyn lashes out at Cassian after Eadu because he has lied to her and had intended to kill her father, but it strikes me that the hurt is amplified because up until then, she has trusted him more than she has trusted anyone else in almost a decade. And like in the novel, she doesn’t just feel like he lied to her–many people have lied to her–she feels betrayed because he mattered, and he’s shown that she matters to him somehow, too.

The first time I watched it, I was totally in the uncanny valley with Tarkin. Less so the second time, and this third time, I was like oh yeah, that’s cool, that looks fine.

TARKIN IS TALL. I never noticed this before, but he’s a giant. After we got home from the movie, we put on A New Hope and yep, Tarkin was always super tall, but he looked average sized because he was always standing next to Darth Vader who is a giant.

The lack of personal space, oh my gawd. I mean I noticed it the last two viewings and obviously during all the times I stared moonily into the various gifsets, but seeing it on IMAX, like whoa. They’re six inches away from each other practically every time they speak. One stumble and they’re making out. WHY DID THEY NOT STUMBLE EVER? STUPID SURE-FOOTED REBELS.

Ben Medelsohn nails the look of terror when Krennic meets Vader. By all accounts from the Rogue One press tour, he was legit terrified when he shot those scenes, and it shows, and it’s perfect.

Felicity Jones is fucking amazing in this part and I’m literally the fight me emoji (ง'̀-‘́)ง to all the haters because if all you want is obvious scenery-chewing to represent deep emotion, then get out of my face you clowns.

By the time we get to “welcome home,” Jyn and Cassian are so into each other, like, I cannot even.

Oh, Bodhi. You were key to all of this. Your bravery was the first domino to fall. Without you, none of this would have happened. And then, taking charge on Rogue One. Giving orders. What a change from the shell-shocked, post-Bor Gullet Bodhi on Jedha. Galen would have been proud of you, too.

When Baze smiles my heart melts a little bit and then I die inside because he’ll be dead soon, too.

“Your Father Would Be Proud” kicks in as soon as Cassian saves Jyn from Krennic on the tower, and I was barely holding my shit together right then and there.


Jyn and Cassian walking to the beach is like peak handsomeness and beauty. Goddamit, Diego and Felicity. And goddamit, Gareth Edwards, you done good.


Every single one of them died knowing that they had completed their piece of the mission. Bodhi patched through to the Alliance. Baze and Chirrut turned on the master switch. Kaytoo helped Jyn and Cassian get the data file. Jyn and Cassian successfully transmitted the plans. But none of them never knew for sure if the Alliance got the plans. They’d never know that the Death Star would be destroyed. They’d never know that they were all parts in the sum of the whole. But they all died knowing they gave it everything they had to give.

Disposable pt14

Being friends with benefits with Min Yoongi can be complicated (at best) by itself. But when you accidentally tell your family (and his boss) that the two of you are dating, things get messy. It only complicates things more when you blackmail Yoongi into pretending to date you, and neither of you can quite keep your feelings separate, no matter how much you try.

Angst, fluff, slight smut at times.

Yoongi x Reader

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 

“How’s he feeling?” Jungkook asked, watching as you buttered toast to bring to Yoongi.

“How do you think he’s feeling?” You scoffed. Jungkook had been the one to hear you trying to half-carry Yoongi inside the previous night, and had helped without saying a word.

“Was he drinking because of all of us? We uh… Kind of backed him into a corner in the car…” Jungkook rubbed his neck, giving you an apologetic smile.

You sighed. Truth be told, while you were fairly sure whatever Jungkook, Jimin, Namjoon and Seokjin had done to Yoongi in the car contributed, you didn’t think that was the main reason—it was more likely your fault. “I don’t know, Jungkook…” You said, turning to face him. “You could be nicer to him, though.”

Jungkook grimaced. “I know, Namjoon keeps telling me the same thing… I just get worried, you know? I don’t want you to get hurt because of some idiot who doesn’t treat you right.”

“I know.” You said, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“But I’ve decided something. I think I misjudged Yoongi.” This came as a complete surprise to you. After all the death glares and accusatory questions, the last thing you thought Yoongi getting drunk would do was make Jungkook reconsider.

“Oh?” You asked, raising your eyebrows.

“Yeah. See, I’ve known him since college, and I guess I just… Assumed he was the same as he was back then when it came to dating.” Jungkook shrugged. “Maybe you changed him. Or maybe he changed, and then you started dating him. Either way, he’s different.”

“What do you mean?” You asked off-handedly. You didn’t want to sound like you didn’t know anything about what Yoongi was like in college, but you couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh, you know… After that girl broke his heart, he just kind of…” Jungkook shrugged. “I never heard exactly what happened, you probably know more about all that mess than I do, but it was like he just… Stopped trying?” Jungkook sipped his coffee.

“Stopped trying…how?” You were in dangerous territory—Jungkook had accepted Yoongi, you didn’t need to put doubts back in his head—but you were so curious.

“He just…Shut himself off from the world. You should really talk to Yoongi about that though, I don’t like to gossip.”

You shook your head. “It isn’t gossip! I didn’t realize you two were so close.”

“We weren’t.” He said. “Not in college, I mean. Namjoon introduced us, he wanted us to be friends for some reason. I’m surprised Yoongi never mentioned anything about it. Then again, no one wants to relive painful memories, right?”

“Right. He doesn’t like talking about it, so…” You said, distracted by your own thoughts. “Jungkook? Do you remember what you heard happened between him and the girl?” It wasn’t your business, you knew, and you almost hoped Jungkook would say he couldn’t recall.

“I didn’t know him very well at the time.” Jungkook said, shifting slightly. “So I never heard from him. Just… what other people said.”

“And?” You pressed.

“And people said that he bought a ring to propose. Then walked in on her cheating.” Jungkook said it quietly, as though he was afraid Yoongi would hear. “And I don’t like spreading rumors, so you should really ask him.”

You nodded again, picking up the plate with toast on it and putting it on a tray along with coffee and some Tylenol. It was no wonder Yoongi pushed people away, going through that would be horrible—not that it excused the way he treated you when you were friends with benefits, but you could see how an experience like that might change someone.

Before you left the room, however, Jungkook caught your attention.

“Is…Is everything alight with you two?” He asked. There was no venom in his voice, however, just a genuine concern. “I know it’s not really my business, but…”

“Everything’s fine.” You assured him with a smile. “We’re fine.”

When Yoongi’s head finally stopped hurting enough for him to venture out of the bedroom, the yard looked nothing like it had the previous day. Large tents, big enough for at least five tables each had been placed around, with fairy lights strung all around. The sun was still a little too bright, so Yoongi turned to go back inside after finding where all the noise was coming from and not seeing you anywhere.

“Looks good, doesn’t it?” Seokjin asked from where he leaned against the side of the house, watching the workers. “Namjoon spends a stupid amount of money on these things, but they sure are pretty.” He flashed Yoongi a smile.

“Yeah, I guess.” Yoongi agreed. He had been looking for you (to find out what was going on, not because he wanted to be near you for some inexplicable reason) and in all honesty wanted to continue his search.

“Are you feeling better?” Seokjin asked, and Yoongi realized he had no idea how much you told them—or even if they had seen him the previous night. You brought him breakfast-in-bed and then disappeared, saying something about needing to help get ready for Namjoons party. “I know Jungkook said you were feeling quite ill this morning, do you think it was something you ate?”

“Just allergies, I think. I’m feeling much better, thanks.” Yoongi said, returning the smile. It was possible that you told Jungkook that he was sick, but the likelihood of Jungkook believing that seemed slim, so Yoongi didn’t know what to think.

“Good. That means you can help me decide where the DJ should set up.”

The day passed in a blur of yelling, decorations, and you trying to convince Namjoon that he wasn’t old, no matter how much you teased him about it. You saw Yoongi occasionally, being dragged around by either Soekjin or Jimin, but never for long enough to really talk to him. Jungkook told you that Jimin was doing it on purpose because he thought it was funny to watch Yoongi try to come up with excuses to be in the same room as you.

Keep reading

Wanting More (Part 2)

Part 1: 




 “You didn’t realize you were crying until you felt hot tears in your hands. You felt frustrated with yourself for crying because you didn’t want Harry to see how much he hurt you. You’ve never felt this pain like this before.

It wasn’t pain like in 7th grade when You broke your foot. But pain in you chest, and it just made you feel like you were breaking into pieces.”


You were ignoring Harry. Not to the extend of never seeing him again. But you wouldn’t always respond to his texts right away or send him funny memes you found on twitter. You didn’t know why you did this because in the end you knew this wouldn’t make your feelings go away. And the fact of the matter was that you missed him, it’s been a week since your last encounter and you were still a bit pissed off at him, even though it wasn’t his wrongdoing.

So when you sat down by a big window at the coffee shop to grab a tea, and just think a little. You didn’t excpect to hear a loud thumping sound on the glass, making you almost spill your tea. And you surely didn’t expect to see Harry on the other side giving you a goofy smile, and mouthing something.

You smiled at him then frowned when you could see his mouth moving, but not understanding what he was saying.

You said, “I can’t hear you” exaggerating your pronunciation and pointing to your ear so he could see what you were saying. You looked around and realized how odd this probably looked to everyone else, and giggled. When you looked back already Harry was making his way inside.

Suddenly your heart started pounding and you felt nervous. You didn’t expect to see Harry today so you ran your hands through your hair, and straightened out your clothes. You weren’t trying to look cute today. You looked down at your black leggings and a baseball tee and wish you wore something different.

You watched as Harry slide in the booth infront of you with a cup of coffee in his hand. “It was bloody freezing out there.” He said as you took notice of his rosey cheeks and nose from the cold. You just nodded and stirred your tea with the little spoon they gave you.

“Yeah it is pretty chilly.” You say not really knowing what to say. It wasn’t awkward being with Harry. But you realized why you felt so jittery. This is the first time you guys have seen eachother when you weren’t tangled in eachother sheets, or out at a party. It was new and refreshing almost. You liked it.

“Have you’ve been ignoring me?” Harry says out of blue, making you lift your eyes from you cup to look at his serious face.

“Um, no why would you think that.” You lied.

“I don’t know…” Harry sighed. “You haven’t been responding to my text that’s often, and haven’t seen you this week.” He almost pouts.

“Well I do have a life Harry. I have School and friends.” You didn’t mean for it to come off rude, but Harry seemed to stiffen at the words. You didn’t want him to feel bad. You actually didn’t have many friends, it seemed like Harry was the the only one.

To lighten up the mood you said, “Have you been stalking me?”

“Now why would you think that?” He raises his eyebrows and leans himself closer across the table.

“So you just Randomly came to this coffee shop, when there’s like hundreds in the city?” You question him.

“I might of heard you say a few times how you like coming here during this hour.” He shrugs it off like it was no big deal.

When in fact you remember you did tell Harry that but it was only once. You didn’t even think he would remember. You didn’t even know why you told him that. It was right after he brought you to his house and made out with you on the couch for a little. He made you tea, and you told him that it was almost as good as the place you go during the week sometimes. You smiled at how he remembered that small little detail.

Harry’s warm hand on your thigh took you out of your memory. He started drawing small circle on your leg as he stirred the sugar in his cup, like it was nothing. When you on the other hand heart was beating at his touch.

“I actually came to give you something you forgot at my house a few days ago.” He says.

“I don’t remember leaving anything.” You try and rack your brain on anything you could of left behind. But you didn’t bring anything besides your phone and keys. Harry lifted himself off the booth and came over to your Side. He reached into his back pocket with a big smirk on his face and pulled out something small and red, that you couldn’t quite recognize.

Then once you saw the lace your eyes grew big as you tried to make Harry put it back in his pocket.

“What the fuck Harry!” He starts laughing “Why would you bring that out here!” You realize how loud you were screaming so you tried lowering your voice.

How in the world could you have forgotten your own underwear at his house. Like how could someone not realize that it wasn’t on. You mentally kicked yourself at that. You were rushing to get out of his house that you didn’t even realize.

“I can’t believe I left them, I’m so embarrassed.” You placed your head in your hands to block the blush that was creeping onto your face.

Harry leaned in and said, “aww love didn’t mean to embarrass you. I think they’re quite pretty.” You slap Harry in the chest and you hear him chuckle.

“I can’t believe you have them right here. Have they been in your pocket all day?” You ask.

“Yup.” He said like it was no big deal.

“Weirdo.” You giggle and playfully punch his chest.

“What. I knew I was going to see you, so I just brought them.” He tried defending himself.

“Yeah sure…” you roll your eyes. You grabbed your purse from the left side and brought it on your lap under the table. “Here just throw them in my purse before someone sees.” You pan around the room and let out a sigh of relief when there was barely anyone in your section.

“Wait. I’m not giving them back just yet.” Harry slides them back in his pocket.

“What Harry, just give them back.” You pleaded with him.

“I will only if you say yes to go to Davids party with me tonight.”

“Davids a fucking asshole.” You remember going to one of his parties before and he was a real creep. You knew he always wanted to get in your pants, but you thought he was a douchebag and he was.

“True, but he throws a hell of a party.” Harry says.

You huff in annoyance, you really wanted your underwear back since they were your most expensive and your favorite. But Harry didn’t need to know that.

“Why do you even want me to go with you?” You ask him. Surely he could ask any other girl, you knew he had many girl friends.

“Because it’s always more fun with you, love.” You felt Harry’s hand creep up your thigh again and he slowly creeped up higher waiting for your response. You melted by just his touch, and he knew it. You hated how he made you feel like jello.

“Ok fine. But I don’t want to stay that long.” Harry smiled.

“I’ll pick you up at 11.” He said.

The party was nothing less then loud and packed. It was on a beach house David had rented out for this special occasion. You couldn’t remember what exactly for, but you didn’t really care. You didn’t see anyone you knew and that made you a bit anxious. But Harry was making you feel a little better by sitting next to him. Your glass of beer was cold in your palm as you took in the room and caught eyes with strangers.

“What’s up dude! Glad you made it.” You heard David walking infront of Harry and giving him a bear hug before his eyes catch mine.

“Ah, it’s nice to see you again Y/N.” He said as he shameless roamed your whole body with his eyes.

You just nodded not really giving him much attention because you just wanted to leave. You’ve only been here for an hour and you really weren’t feeling it tonight. Honestly you just wanted your underwear back from Harry, as weird as that sounded.

You were about to ask Harry when they could leave but he suddenly stood up to walk away.

“Where are you going?” You asked hoping he wasn’t leaving you with David.

“My friend just texted me and wanted to meet for a chat real quick.” He told you.

You gave him a look pleading with you not to leave you here alone.

“Don’t worry I’ll keep her company while your gone.” David said as he gave you a smug smile.

“Thanks man. I’ll be back.” And without even looking at you he sped off upstairs. You felt really annoyed. Not the fact that you needed a babysitter but that Harry dragged you here under your will and decides to leave you. Especially with David.

But he’ll be back your mind kept telling you. He says he’ll be back soon. So you tried to relax and enjoy yourself.

“So are you and Harry like dating now?” David asks.

You almost choke on your drink “What?! No, no we aren’t like that- we aren’t um… dating.” You stammered over your words.

David smirks and opens his cup of beer and pours a bit more into your cup that was almost done.

“Well then Drink up love. And let loose!”


You didn’t know how you ended up in this situation. You were in a dark corner of the club with another drink in your hand. You remember only drinking like two cups but your mind was buzzing. You felt a cold hand touch your thigh and you turned your head to see David. He was talking about something and was oddly close to you.

You were wondering when Harry was coming back it has been over an hour and at this point you were really starting to get annoyed. He said he would be right back but he didn’t. It made you wonder what he was actually doing. Your mind made up this scenario in your head that almost made you puke.

“I really like this dress on you Y/N…” David was slurring his words. Your mind came back to reality when you could feel him whispering in your ear. His hot clammy breathe was making you shiver.

“Thanks, I guess.” You didn’t really know what to say. “Maybe I should go look for Harry to see if we should head out.” You tried getting up but he placed his hands on your waist to sit you back next to him and you huffed in annoyance.

“Trust me love. Harry wouldn’t have left you here if he wasn’t going down on someone else.” He smirked at your reaction. You thought it could be a possibility but you didn’t want to believe it.

“He said he was meeting a friend….” you tried convincing yourself.

“Well she doesn’t look like a friend to me.” You looked at the direction he was pointing to and your heart almost stopped. There was Harry on the other side of the room with a girl sitting on his lap as she placed kisses on his lips and neck. While Harry held her hips against him.

You tore your eyes so quickly you might have gottened whiplash. So many emotions were going through your mind anger, sadness, shock. That your mind couldn’t keep up with what you were doing.

You grabbed David face and slammed your lips onto his. You must of caught him off guard too because he dropped his beer can, and it made a loud noise as it hit the ground.

His hands roamed around your body as he leaned you up against the wall. You didn’t know why you were doing this. But deep down you wanted Harry to see that you didn’t want him, even when you did. You wanted him to feel hurt like you did.

Or maybe he wouldn’t you thought as David kissed down your neck to your chest. Maybe he had no feelings at all for you. That’s why he could so quickly go onto another girl, with you in the same fucking room.

“Fuck, I can take you right here.” You came back to reality when davids hand went up your dress to feel your slit. Your mind finally realized what was about to happen. And you’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how hurt you felt. Sleeping with another guy won’t help fix it. Especially if you don’t want you.

“No.” You say as you pushed his hands off from under your dress.

“Come on don’t be like this.” He continuing pushing his groin into yours. “Don’t act like you don’t want this.”

“I don’t just because I kissed you doesn’t mean I want your dick.” You finally push him off you completely.

“Fucking Bitch.” He spat in your face. You flipped him off and before you saw his reaction you headed towards the door. You pushed through people who were having a good time and dancing but you wanted to leave. You couldn’t stay here any longer. You felt your chest getting tight and your eyes starting to get wet.

You pretended you didn’t know why you felt like this. But you knew why. Harry.

You didn’t realize seeing him with another girl would make you feel so worthless. You knew you guys weren’t together but even so he always treated you like he was only seeing you. But you never really made it clear if this really had no strings attached. But apparently Harry had already.

You thought maybe today at the coffee shop that he wanted you more then just sleeping around with you.

And oh how stupid you were for thinking that.

You placed your hand on the cold brick outside the house, to try and calm down. You needed to get home and at this point you would just walk the 10 miles, if it meant not seeing Harry. So you started walking to the street.

But god wasn’t on your side tonight when you heard footsteps coming toward you.

“Y/N! Hey where you going I saw you run out?!” You turned around to see Harry coming toward you and you just wanted to disappear. You wipe your hands against your eyes to wipe all the fallen tears.

“I’m going home…” you told him and kept walking.

“Alright well I did take you here, so that means I can take you back, love.” You stiffened at the name.

“Well I couldn’t find you, after you left me for over an hour.” You snapped.

“I’m sorry.” He said coming closer to you and placing his hands on your shoulder. He was too close and all you wanted to do was lean into him but you didn’t. “Let me drive you. So I know you’ll get home safe.”

You got in the car because you actually didn’t know the way to get home and you were tired. All of tonight’s events came back to you and you refused to remember so you slowly drifted off to sleep. But what you didn’t realize was Harry slowly tracing circles in your hand making you sigh in comfort.

The sound of the engine turning off and the car coming to a complete stop had you stir from your sleep.

Your eyes finally opened as you turned to the Side and realized you weren’t at home. But at Harry’s.

“Why aren’t we at my house??” You quickly straightened up from your sleep position.

“I still had to repay you from coming tonight.” He said and you totally forgot about that. You honestly at this point didn’t care and wanted to leave. But at least you’ll get what you sacrificed for.

You walked up Harry’s stairs behind him until you reached his room. Your eyes quickly scanned the bed where you have doned many things that made your cheeks heat up. But you just cleared your throat and saw Harry open his top dresser draw and pulled out your underwear.

You snatched it from him with a small thank you before turning around to go back to the car. But then your bladder finally spoke after all those drinks.

“Can I use your bathroom before we leave?” You asked Harry.

He nodded and you made your way to the one in his room. “But we aren’t leaving.”


“I said we’re not leaving.” He repeats himself.

“Harry I have to go home.” You tell him.

“Not this late I can take you in the morning.” You looked over at his clock and it was 2am.

“You didn’t mind kicking me out the other night, after we slept together!.” Your voice wavered at the end more than you wanted. Your eyes went wide after you realized what you said, and you wanted to take it back. You didn’t want him to know you were hurt from that because now you know he has no feelings for you whatsoever.

Harry stood there not saying anything and you didn’t want to be in this situation any longer so you quickly went Inside his bathroom and locked it.

“Y/N open the door.” Harry knocked lightly as you sat on the toilet.

“No I’m using the bathroom.” He sighed but didn’t say anything else. Until after you flushed and was washing your hands. He asked again and you said you didn’t want to talk to him. That seemed to make him go away.

As the water was running you looked at yourself in the mirror and saw how tired and sad you looked. Dry tear marks were down your cheeks, your hair was a mess, and your lipstick was smeared. You placed your face in your hands and tried not to think about anything that happened tonight. But you couldn’t help it.

You didn’t realize you were crying until You felt hot tears in your hands. You felt frustrated with yourself for crying because you didn’t want Harry to see how much he hurt you. You’ve never felt this pain like this before.

It wasn’t pain like in 7th grade when You broke your foot. But pain in your chest, and it just made you feel like you were breaking into pieces.

Warm hands wrapped around your waist and you quickly looked up to see Harry behind you. You looked over at the door and saw a key, so he unlocked it. You tried to push away from him to just get some space but he wouldn’t let you.

“Harry I wanted some privacy.” You said between sniffles.

Harry looked down at you with a frown on his face. “I couldn’t have you in here crying, love. What’s wrong?” He slowly wiped the tears that were leaving your eyes like a waterfall. He didn’t like to see you so upset, it broke his heart.

You shook you head and looked at the tile floor. You didn’t know what to say.

Harry placed his finger under your chin so you can look at him. He started into your beautiful eyes and you looked into his forest green ones, almost getting lost in them.

“Come on you can tell me anything. Just tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it for you.”

You almost laughed because you didn’t know if he actually could fix it.

“Harry, your breaking my heart. And I don’t think I can do this anymore.” You say through your tears.





Part 3:
Stop being so cute

Request: #42 from the Drabble challenge
Summary: You’ve been stressing over your school work lately and Peter just wants to see you smile again.
It felt like all of your teachers had come together and plotted that they want you to fail all of your courses, so they bombarded you with ridiculous amounts of work just one week away from exams.
You refused to lose sleep over any school work so your time at home didn’t feel long enough to complete any of it. You had resorted to spending every spare second at school to work on them all. With only one assignment completed, you felt so done. You were super exhausted from the stress that was eating away at your spine.
Peter felt guilty, he felt the need to help since he could see the toll all this work was taking on you. And because the two of you were inseparable, he’d come to your house every day after school. Numerous efforts were made by Peter to convince you that you needed a break, but numerous times, you turned them down. He’s even offered to do some work for you, but you needed to do the work yourself so that you’d understand it all and wouldn’t feel like you cheated by having some one else do the work.
So there the two of you sat in your room, Peter sprawled out on your bed, and you with your head in your hands at your desk looking over the many papers covering every square inch of the wooden table. Your shadow was casted upon Peter, your body blocking him from the light radiating off your lamp placed next to you.
You let out an exhausted sigh, catching Peters attention. He dropped his phone on his chest and glanced over to you with one arm propped under his head. He gazed slowly at your lips, catching on to how they’d perk every few moments, and how your tongue slipped out over them on occasion. Next he trailed up to your nose. Your nose was by far his favorite, he loved the reaction he’d get out of you whenever he would bop it. Something about the way your features lit up every time made him feel giddy inside. His eyes leaped up to yours. It didn’t matter that your y/e/c were glued and concentrated on the pages before you, they still held him captive. Every time he looked at them, he couldn’t look away, not without a struggle. He wouldn’t mind getting lost in them everyday all day for the rest of his life. Your eyebrows twitched into a scrunch, moving them closer together then apart again. His gaze traced over every crinkle on your forehead, memorizing each of them. Loose strands of y/h/c tumbled onto your forehead escaping from the messy bun that was placed strategically upon your head, were illuminated by the light shining behind them, making your hair color seem a few more shades lighter than natural.
Peter breathed in happily retracing all your features with his irises not skipping over any of them. The corners of his mouth unconsciously lifted into a subtle smile, creasing the corner of his eyes as well. He took this silent opportunity to tell you: “Stop being so cute,” and he half heartedly meant it too. His body couldn’t take it all. You had this wild effect on him that he couldn’t hide. He’ll never be able to decide whether he loves it or hates it.
Slightly confused by his sudden break of silence you replied without taking your eyes off your chemistry assignment, “What?”
His smile grew a little bit, he thought of this to be the perfect time to get you to think of anything else but your school work, “Stop being so cute y/n, like-just stop whatever it is you’re doing and just- stop it,”
“Peter..” You responded cautiously, while lifting your eyebrows slightly. Your tone of voice letting him know that whatever he’s up to now isn’t the time.
“Oh gosh don’t even lift your eyebrows at me. Nope. I can’t do it.”
You shook your head biting your lip to stop the smile that wanted to take over your lips.
“Don’t even smile y/n. You have to stay serious. Don’t even think about breaking your rock solid concentration.”
“Peter what are you doing?” You asked stealing a glance at him catching the proud grin he was sporting, knowing that whatever he was doing, he had won. You let the smallest giggle fall out of your mouth not having any control over it.
Throwing his hands up to his face, Peter covered as much of it as he could and exasperated every word he spoke, “Oh no, not a giggle. Oh now you’ve done it. You’ve taken my breath away, oh my poor heart. I hope you’re happy with yourself y/n I really do.” He peaked an eye through one of the cracks between his ring and pinky finger to capture your features that were growing happy.
Not bothering to hold back anymore, giggles were leaving your lips as you watched your boyfriend act like a fool as per-usual, “What are you doing Peter?” You asked taking a seat next to his body that laid over your bed.
“Struggling to breath. It’s 100% because of you. No joke.” He spoke underneath his hands that were still blocking you from seeing his face.
“Would it be better if I just left?” You asked teasingly,
“Honestly I think it might,”
Smirking, you stood up and began making your way to your bedroom door. Shortly after two steps you heard the familiar spur of a web shooter. Feeling a tug on your hip, you tumbled back over to the bed and fell on top of Peter. His arms your wrapped tightly around your torso squishing you against his chest, with your legs on either side of him.
“You know I didn’t really mean all that stuff right? Like I was just teasing, please keep being cute, and smile. I was just trying to get you to smile,” he sputtered with a hint of worry in his voice, he wasn’t sure if he’d hurt you but he wanted you to know he was sorry,
“I know Peter. I’m not gonna be mad at you for complimenting me in your own weird way.”
“So did it work? Do you feel better?” He questioned loosen his hold slightly and tilting his head down to look at you.
Sitting up to look him in the eyes, you lowered yourself back down, your face inches from his. Your fingers gently twirled a piece of his curly locks above his forehead, “You always make me feel better Peter, no one else can ever make me smile like you do,” you whispered delicately.
His eyes flickered from yours, down to your lips, then back up again repeating the process. Slowly, you began to lean in. Once you felt his warm breath against your lips, he whispered, “Stop being so cute,”

Withering Away Innocence (Part 3)

Originally posted by lobo-de-luna

Pairing: Hvitserk X Reader X Ivar

Word Count: 4100

Warnings: about 3000 words of the sex

-Part 1- -Part 2-

Since the idea was brought up of a more open marriage, you’ve finally made a choice of who to take that kind of leap with. Someone who you could feel a little more on equal ground with. Certainly not the one the rest thought you’d pick.

Keep reading


“We’re living in a time of real change,” says Depeche Mode singer Dave Gahan, a vision of intensity dressed head-to-toe in black. “As I get older, the things going on in the world affect me more. I think about my kids and what they’re growing up into. My daughter, Rosie, was deeply affected by the election last year. … She just sobbed, and I was like, ‘Wow.’”


Depeche Mode Look Back on 'Violator’ 25 Years Later

The album was “the pinnacle of us having fun,” says Martin Gore

It’s an overcast mid-January day, and the singer, 54, is picking at some tagliatelle in a corner hotel restaurant located in downtown Manhattan, where he’s lived for about a decade. Despite sharing his alarm about the state of the world, he’s in bright spirits and can look at himself objectively. “Martin [Gore] and I both live in America, so we’re both very affected by what goes on,” he says. “Martin said to me, 'I know to some people, this will come off as rich rock stars living in their big houses in Santa Barbara with not a care in the world, and it’s true that we’re very fortunate. But that doesn’t mean you stop caring about what’s going on in the world. It’s really affecting me.’ And I said, 'I understand. I feel the same.’”

That sense of worry informed Gahan and his Depeche Mode bandmates while writing their upcoming album, Spirit, which is due out March 17th, as many of the LP’s 12 songs deal directly with the general Weltschmerz circulating the planet lately. Although Depeche Mode became megastars to a legion of black-clad, disaffected malcontents with serious songs about universal compassion (“People Are People”) and more personal revelations (“Enjoy the Silence,” “I Feel You”), the new tracks seem like a different chapter for the group. “I wouldn’t call this a political album,” Gahan says, “because I don’t listen to music in a political way. But it’s definitely about humanity, and our place in that.”

He sings of bigots “turning back our history” on “Backwards,” cheekily calls for change in “Where’s the Revolution?” (“Who’s making your decisions,” he sings, “you or your religion?”) and looks inward on the brooding “Poison Heart.” Musically, these songs are dark-hued with complex textures that are both icy and warm sounding, harkening back to the group’s Violator era while still sounding musically like an extension of their last album, 2013’s Delta Machine.

The realization that Gahan and Gore were on the same page with regard to world events came early when they regrouped last year with bandmate Andy Fletcher to begin work on the album. When they looked at everything they’d brought to the table, they saw a through-line. “We called the album Spirit, because it’s like, 'Where’s the spirit gone?’ or 'Where’s the spirit in humanity?’” Gahan says. “We considered calling it Maelstrom – that was a bit too heavy metal.”

They brought in producer James Ford, whose work with Florence and the Machine, Arctic Monkeys and Simian Mobile Disco had impressed the group, and he helped get the musicians get back on the same page. Other than a few disagreements between Gahan and Gore that Ford settled (“We really had it out,” Gahan says with a laugh, “It got pretty emotional”), the recording process went relatively quickly and easily, with sessions in Gore’s Santa Barbara studio and in New York.

Now the group is releasing the record’s first single, the Gore-penned “Where’s the Revolution?” The slow-building number, which features fuzzy synths, serves as a call-to-arms, on which Gahan sings, “The train is coming/Get on board,” along with the title question. “Martin wrote it in a very sarcastic, English way,” Gahan says.

It’s a mood that continues in another Spirit song “Backwards.” It opens with Gahan singing, “We are the bigots/We have not allowed/We have no respect/We have lost control.” It goes on to lambaste some people’s “caveman mentality” and how others “feel nothing inside,” amid jabbing keyboards and pounding rhythms and complete with Gore’s backing vocals. “If we want things to change, a revolution, we need to talk about it and about caring about what goes on in the world,” Gahan says. “It doesn’t seem the way things are in London. We seem to be going in another direction, and I think Martin felt like he needed to express that.”

That theme also resounds in another song written by Gore, “So Much Love,” a more upbeat, electronics-driven number about realizing that everyone has love inside. “It’s like we have so much love here, we really do, but we’re afraid to use it and access it,” Gahan says. “It’s the old John Lennon thing, like, 'love and peace, man.’”

But while Gahan sees a connection to the Beatles, the tune sounds nothing like the Fab Four with its dense, noisy pastiche of keyboards, drum machine and an eerie guitar line. Gahan says that the song, musically, has more in common with Depeche Mode in their earliest days.

“Back in '79 or 1980, we would play these 25-minute sets where I would write the little dots on the drum machine and shift it up and down to make it go faster or slower,” Gahan recalls. “It was a wall of sound. We’d plug these three keyboards into the drum machine, and three microphones – Vince [Clarke], Martin and myself – so it was three-part harmonies and a very distorted drum machine. … ['So Much Love’] also reminds me of early electronic stuff, like Tuxedomoon and Cabaret Voltaire, who did kind of punky, distorted songs.”

It’s the exact opposite sound of the ballad “Poison Heart,” a particularly catchy and euphonious number Gahan concocted with the group’s drummer, Christian Eigner, and keyboardist, Peter Gordeno. “They sent me this guitar line, and it had a bit of a Muscle Shoals vibe,” Gahan says. “It was a very different feel and I got this melody in my head.” It opens with a slow, funeral march in the vein of Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ “I Put a Spell on You” and builds to an almost Beatles-like bridge with only a smidgen of noisy guitar. Gore, whom Gahan says is “not a man of many words when it comes to others’ songs,” called “Poison Heart” the best song Gahan had ever written.

“You have poison in your heart,” he croons outright at the beginning of the song. And later, he sings, “You know it’s time to break up/You’ll always be alone,” but Gahan says it’s not intended to be a breakup song.

“I was watching the news on TV and I was writing through my own inability to really relate to another human being,” he says. “There must be something wrong with me, poison in my heart or whatever. So it was fun to play with that imagery, and it became more worldly – greed and lust and wanting what you want when you want it and nothing else matters. So I was breaking up with myself – trying to evolve, trying to break up with old ideas that I think are working for me but are not in actuality. Fortunately, that’s not my relationship with my wife.”

He laughs, picking at his pasta, and says that “Poison Heart” complements another song on the album, which wasn’t played for Rolling Stone, called “Worst Crime.” “The lyrics to 'Poison Heart’ are more of an internal dialogue, but 'Worst Crime’ is looking outward,” he says. “It’s bringing about the change. You’ve got to do something different or act differently. We can all talk about whatever is going on until we’re blue in the face but you have to take real action, and sometimes we don’t know what that looks like. Individually, I believe people are inherently good, but we’re really distorted by the information we get and we act out on that information out of fear.”

Another way he expressed that opinion on the album is in a song called “Cover Me,” which he describes as a story song. “It’s about a person who travels to another planet only to find that, much to his dismay, it’s exactly the same as earth,” Gahan says. “It’s a different planet but the same. He really can’t get away from himself. If he wants things to change, he’s going to have to implement it.”

If that premise sounds like pure Bowie, it’s only because the Starman loomed large as an influence on Gahan and Gore throughout their career. “When Bowie died, we both didn’t know what to do with it,” Gahan says. “There was a personal connection there. It was a huge loss.”

Gahan recalls sobbing last January when he heard that Bowie had died. He had gotten used to seeing Bowie in surprisingly normal social settings – Gahan and Bowie’s daughters are about the same age and attend the same school – and Gahan would sometimes chat with Bowie at school functions. “It was very different to the Bowie that I grew up adoring and living vicariously through,” he says. He’d become a fan as a young teen watching Top of the Pops and latched onto Bowie’s androgyny because his mother didn’t like it. When he turned 16, he scrounged together some money (“I’m sure I stole something and sold it,” he says) to see Bowie perform at London’s Earl’s Court in 1978, and he calls the double live album, Stage, which was recorded on that tour, “some kind of pacifier” for him, his go-to Bowie.

“I had seen the news but it wasn’t until my wife told me he had died that I just broke down in tears,” Gahan says. “My daughter came out and they were both hugging me. It really affected me. I felt a huge gap. One of the things I was most regrettable about was that I had never really gone up to him at any time I’d seen him in passing and said, 'You know, David, I bump into you every once in a while, but I’ve never told you how much your music has meant to me and continues to mean to me.’”

To right this, Depeche Mode paid tribute to Bowie at a special concert they recently recorded at New York City’s High Line public park. They filmed the performance – which they did without an audience and which included several songs from Spirit – with just a drum machine and Gore on guitar, and they capped it with a cover of Bowie’s “Heroes.” “I was so moved, I barely held it together, to be honest,” Gahan says. “Martin listened to 'Heroes’ once it was mixed and randomly told me, 'Wow, that was really fucking good.’ And I said, 'Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?’”

Although Depeche Mode have not yet decided how they will release this film, Gahan is eager for people to see the whole thing and especially “Heroes.” In the meantime, he’s getting back into the headspace of performing live, and spreading the band’s new message of world awareness to audiences. By his estimation, the band has already sold over a million tickets to a few dozen stadium European stadium shows later this year, and the group is still finalizing plans for a U.S. tour; rehearsals begin in mid-February.

But it’s the early interest in the upcoming European leg that Gahan is most excited about, since many venues were nearly sold out before the release of the new single. “We spent a lot of years just fighting to be heard and to be respected,” he says. “One or two reviews of our past albums over the years have been pretty harsh. And you go, 'Oh, those people really don’t get us, they don’t get it.’”

But over the last nearly four decades, Depeche Mode have amassed a dedicated fan base, something that resonated with Gahan recently when he was working on a side project with the cinematic production team Soulsavers. One of the members of that group, Rich Machin, told him that Depeche Mode records like Violator and Songs of Faith and Devotion were among his favorites when he was 13.

“They were like what Diamond Dogs and Ziggy Stardust were to me, those albums where you sit in your bedroom wondering why you don’t fit in with the rest of the world,” Gahan says. “That’s what I was doing with David Bowie at that age. I had found somebody in him that I could understand, where I felt I was part of his world, when I felt alienated. And I think that’s why Depeche Mode appeals to a lot of people. Somehow it’s comforting, like, 'You’re not alone.’ You’re not, of course. None of us are. But music is the thing that crosses all boundaries and brings odd people together.”

It’s a sentiment that also echoed last year when it was announced that Depeche Mode were nominated for the first time to enter the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame but ultimately didn’t make it. “We’re not just part of the fabric, and I’m proud of that,” he says. “We stick out as being something that’s a little bit odd. We knew we weren’t going to get up there with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but someone wrote something like, 'They’re a band wearing eyeliner, writing pervy songs about twisted, weird, depressing subjects.’

"I took that as a massive compliment,” he continues. “Because we are a little odd, and we’ve always appealed to the odd out there, the odd in the world. Our fans and the people like ourselves are a squad that maybe didn’t quite feel right hanging out with others. We’re a little awkward, a little nerdy, a little different. We found each other and it became a gang.” He laughs, looking proud. “And it’s a pretty big gang now.”

(via Depeche Mode’s Dave Gahan on Urgent New LP, Bowie Influence - Rolling Stone)

Don’t Let Me Go

(requested by anon)
Kai Parker x Reader
word count
: 4 856
warning : angst (you may want to grab a chocolate bar before reading this)
summary : Kai and Reader break up and Reader tried to go on with her life even tho she is hurting. Months later she goes out on a date with someone who she thinks is the ideal guy , but things do not work out quite as she had hoped …
*gif by lightwoodxalec

Y/N ran upstairs to their bedroom hearing Kai’s angry footsteps following her.
“What are you doing?” Kai asked , grabbing her wrists forcing her to look at him.
They had had their worst fight yet. At first everything got started because Kai was jealous of a random guy at the bar who had had the nerve to talk to Y/N and now somehow the fight had turned into how she wants him to be something he is not. It was completely ridiculous because that was not the case. Ever since Kai turned into a vampire all his emotions were heightened and he was on edge constantly. It wasn’t just this time … whenever someone looked at her in a way Kai didn’t like , things got ugly. He had broken a guy’s nose , nearly broken another’s jaw…
“I am moving out. What do you think I’m doing?” she yelled , pulling away from him. “You said you don’t want me here , remember ?”
Y/N tossed a few pairs of jeans  and a couple of shirts in her bag not even bothering to fold them , looking around the room picking up a pair of high heels from under the bed , going back into the walk in closet taking out the last of her clothes.
Kai rested against the wall , watching her throw things in her bag. He didn’t want her to leave , he loved her and regretted the fight already. When they had first started dating she had promised him that she will love him forever , that he will never be alone again… Now she was packing… and his pride was standing in the way of him admitting his mistake.
“Fine , leave. What do I care… ” he said. “You probably have been waiting for me to screw up , haven’t you , so you can leave me ? What a fool I’ve been to care and love you and to think that you cared and loved me too. You are just like everyone else. All you see when you look at me is a murderous sociopath who killed his own family , maimed your friends and put your best friend into a sleeping curse ! I can’t believe I waisted a second being in love with you !”
Y/N stared at him , her heart breaking to pieces at his words. She couldn’t believe what he was saying , it was as if he was a completely different person… There was no trace of the Kai she had fallen in love with. They had been so in sync ever since they had met , and now …
“It goes both ways.” she said angrily , closing the zipper on her bag , taking it in her hand heading for the bedroom door. She walked past him , stopping a step behind him , fighting back the tears. The last thing she wanted to do was leave , she loved him and cared about him more than she could ever put into words… but it was starting to get clear to her their relationship was doomed. “I don’t ever want to see or hear from you again. ” she said going through the door , running down the stairs and out the door slamming it with a loud bang.
Y/N walked to her car blinking back tears , tossed her bag in the back seat and got in. She wanted to leave as soon as possible before the tears started , but it was too late … she broke into sobs , tears streaming down her face , her hands balled into fists hitting the steering wheel.
It was as if her entire world had come crashing down , the pain in her chest growing with every passing second remembering Kai’s face , his last words to her echoing in her mind breaking her heart all over again until there was nothing left.

Y/N woke up suddenly , shooting up straight in her bed , sweat covering her forehead and tears streaming down her face. It had been the 3rd time the past few days she had had that dream …the moment she and Kai broke up. Whatever people said about pain getting easier with time , it was a lie. She had tried for months to move on and was still trying , but it was harder than ever. Back when they had been together she hadn’t realised how many things actually remind her of him … until their relationship had ended. All the little things - someone would walk by wearing the same cologne as him or would order the same drink as him. Literally everything reminded her of Kai…
She wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand , her gaze falling on a shadow in the hallway. There was someone inside the house , she got up fast trying to catch whoever it was but the person was long gone by the time she got up.
“Great. Now I am hallucinating.” she muttered , walking downstairs to the kitchen for a glass of water. Y/N looked around trying to figure out if someone had actually been inside the house or not , but everything was just as she had left it before going to bed. In the end she didn’t want to go back upstairs and just crashed on the couch for the rest of the night.


Kai couldn’t stay away from Y/N , no matter how much he tried. He still loved her… and knew he’d never stop loving her. The only thing that kept him semi sane was that he got to see her … He’d sneak into her house at night , watch her sleep. Sometimes he’d take a peek into her head to see what she was dreaming about. Usually it was school stuff , but that night when he had peeked into her subconscience it had broken  his heart all over again. Tears were streaming down her face and he gently wiped a few of them away. Y/N was dreaming about their break up ,tossing and turning in her sleep. He wanted to wake her up , wrap his arms around her and comfort her like he’d usually do when she had bad dreams … but it wasn’t possible. She started to wake up and he ran out of the house before she had had the chance to see him and kick him out.  What he had seen and felt while peeking inside her dream that night had brought back the memory of that night for him too…

It took him less than an hour to realise what a huge mistake he had made letting her leave. He used his vampire hearing , listening to her sobs in her car , wishing things hadn’t gone the way they had. Y/N had said she didn’t want anything to do with him … and it had all been his fault.
“AARHHHH .!!!!” he screamed , grabbing the lamp from the night stand tossing it across the room at the wall  smashing it to bits, turning around and picking up the next thing he could find which turned out to be a picture of them together. Kai looked at it for a few moments , touching her face on the photo.
“I’m so sorry…” he whispered , crumbling on the ground still holding the picture in his hand as tears started streaming down his cheeks. He wiped them away as quickly as they were falling , giving up a few minutes later. Kai hated the tears , they always made him feel like some sort of an alien creature. He had felt pain before , but none of it compared to what he felt in that moment  when she had left their home , slamming the door shut behind her - like the air was being pulled out of his lungs , his heart being torn away from his chest.

*  *  *

The next day Y/N woke up from her phone ringing - ZACK said the called ID. She couldn’t help but smile for a moment. Zack was a british guy she had met a few weeks ago at Whitmore. He was sweet , kind and as far as she gotten to know him , he was absolutely perfect. When she was with him the pain vanished for a few hours and she had started liking him so when he had asked her out on a date a week ago she had said yes. Zack had taken her out for a dinner and a movie and tonight was their second date.
“Hey.” she picked up the phone. “What’s up ?”
“Morning gorgeous.” he said in his perfect accent. “Just checking in to see if we are still on for tonight ? I can’t wait to see you.”
Y/N giggled. “Yes , we are and … I can’t wait to see you too.” she said smiling. “What do you have planned ?”
“It’s a surprise.” Zack said , Y/N heard voices around Zack calling for him. He was at work. “Hey , I gotta go love .. see you tonight.”
Y/N hang up the phone starring at her screen saver for a moment - a picture of her and Zack making funny faces behind the teacher’s back.
Maybe this is it. she thought. My chance to be happy again…
She walked upstairs , opening her closet looking for the perfect outfit for the evening , rummaging through her dresses pulling one after another.
“And as usual .. I have nothing to wear.” she laughed nervously after trying a few outfits. Somehow none of them seemed to work to her liking. Y/N sighed and walked back to the closet , looking through her things and that’s when she saw it…. one of Kai’s t-shirts. She froze on the spot , unsure what to do at first.
When they had broken up , she had packed all Kai’s things in a box and left them in his house along with the key to their house … his house. Somehow his shirt had stayed in her closet this whole time. Carefully she picked it up , holding it in her hands as if it’s the biggest treasure , a small smile spread across her face. Y/N brought it up  to her face , feeling the soft material and taking in the scent.
It still smells like him. she thought.
She sat on the bed , holding Kai’s shirt close to her chest , closing her eyes.
Y/N remembered when he had left it here … it was one of the first times he had stayed the night. In the morning she hadn’t been able to find where her clothes had fallen the night before , she hadn’t even been sure they were still in one piece …and then her gaze had stopped on his shirt , she had put it on walking downstairs where Kai had already started making breakfast. He always made breakfast. Y/N remembered clearly the look on his face when he saw her in his shirt , how he had pulled her close softly whispering in her ear how sexy she looked in it before leaning in to kiss her and tossing her over his shoulders…
A few tears rolled down her cheeks at the memory. She wiped them away quickly , holding onto the shirt tighly as if it might disappear. They had been so happy together , every moment felt like magic. How did it all fall apart in the end?  
Y/N took off the dress she had been wearing tossing it onto the floor and put on Kai’s shirt , looking at her reflection in the mirror , wrapping her hands around her drowning in the memory of that day. Whatever happened in the future , whoever she got to spend her life with … she knew one thing for sure - she’ll never stop loving him.
“I miss you …” she whispered.

The first few weeks after the break up Y/N spent mostly crying. There was no way to stop the pain or the tears. She went to sleep at night haunted by nightmares reliving their breakup, except when she woke up in the morning the nightmares never ended. Each day was worse than the previous. Her life had turned into an endless ocean of pain and she was drowning in it. She didn’t want to eat , to sleep or to go on in general.. Life without Kai didn’t exist for her.
A few times she had found herself wandering the streets in the middle of the night , her heart pulling her towards Kai until she ended up in front of his house. She’d get there around 3-4am , sit on the porch for a while glancing at the windows which were always dark , as if no one was inside. For all she knew Kai had left town and gone back to Portland and it was breaking her on the inside knowing she had lost him. One time she fell asleep on the porch and woken up back in her house unsure how she had gotten there.
About a month and a half later after the break up, Y/N decided it is time she pulled herself together and start moving on.. so she went out with her friends , ending up making out with some guy who had been an absolute stranger to her. Instead of moving on , she felt worse than before … like she had cheated on Kai , which was ridiculous considering they had broken up.
Later on her friends had set her up on a date with one of Tyler’s old high school friends from the football team who had rolled back into town. Things had been going well up until the point Kai had walked into the Grill. It had been the first time she had seen him since their break up and he looked wrecked. Kai looked paler than usual with dark spots under his eyes , his hair was messy , his shirt untucked and he even had grown some facial hair. The moment his eyes had fallen on Y/N and her date he visibly crumbled on the inside. He sat at the far end of the Grill not looking at them , Y/N glancing a few times in his direction trying to catch his eye … All her feelings had come rushing back and her only wish was to run into his arms. She hadn’t even realised her date had been talking for a few minutes but she hadn’t heard a word , all her thoughts consumed by Kai.
“Hey , are you OK?” the guy said , reaching across the table to touch her hand.
“Yeah … yeah , I’m … I’ll be right back.” she said getting up , heading towards the restrooms. Y/N looked at her reflection in the mirror , the hole in her chest opening again causing her pain so strong she nearly fell on the ground. It took her more than 10 minutes to recover enough to walk back outside only to find her date gone. She looked around for a few moments , searching for him but there was no trace of him so she grabbed her bag and jacket , heading outside and that’s when she heard the screams. Y/N ran to the small alley behind the Grill , finding Kai punching and kicking the guy she had been on a date with , before pulling him up and feeding on him until the guy stopped fighting.  Kai turned towards her , his eyes filled with anger and pain , before disappearing.

Y/N had no idea how much time had passed until the doorbell returned her back to reality. She pulled over her head Kai’s shirt and quickly got dressed in her PJ’s , carefully tucking in under her pillow before rushing downstairs to open the door.
“Zack ! Hi ! W-what are you doing here ?” she asked surprised , noticing the flowers in his hand. “Oh God … ” she muttered.
Zack laughed nervously. “You are not ready yet ? I can go wait in the car if you need some extra time…” he said looking at her wearing her PJ’s , licking his lower lip.
Y/N smiled awkwardly. Somehow she had completely forgotten about Zack’s existance , not to mention their date.
“Yeah sorry. Um … something came up. Come on in , you can wait inside…” she said , as Zack gave her the flowers. “Thank you , those are beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you.” he said leaning in to kiss her , wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her close. Suddenly his kiss felt wrong to her , his lips on hers felt wrong. Y/N pulled away giving him a small smile.
“I better find them a vase.” she said tiptoeing into the kitchen , Zach following her closely behind. She looked through the kitchen cabinets for a vase and in a few minutes she found one and filled it with water , placing the flowers in leaving them on the table. “How did you know I like white roses ?”
Zack took a few steps towards her , backing her against the kitchen counter.
“I know a lot of things.” he said , his lips smashing against hers as his hands found their way down her waist , squeezing her ass pulling her closer to him. Y/N had wrapped her hands around his neck tugging on his hair. He didn’t seem to want to pull away or let go off her. Her phone rang and she tried to wiggle her way out but Zack grabbed her wrists holding them tight together behind her back. She looked up and his expression scared the hell out of her. His eyes were black and he had this crazy look on his face - the same look a predator has looking at his pray. Zach’s other hand pushed down her PJ’ bottoms along with her underwear.
“What are you doing?” she asked trying to get herself free. In all the time she had known him , he had never done anything like it. “Sto-”
He smashed his lips against hers again , shutting her up. Y/N managed to kick him between the legs with her knee , giving her a few seconds to pull away from him.
“What is wrong with you?!” she asked raising her voice. “Whatever has crawled up your pants - watch it. THIS is not going to happen. Not tonight and definitely NOT like this.”
Zach took a step towards her. “Why not , Y/N? I want this , you want this … I see the way you look at me , you want it…” he said , his voice completely different than the sweet sound she was used to.
“I-I think you should go.” she said stepping aside , pointing towards the door. “Go before I call the cops or worse - one of my friends.”
Zach laughed and took another step towards her. “Your friends? What are they going to do to me ? Report me to the dean ?”
“Trust me , you do not want to find out.” she said , her voice trembling , taking a step back from him trying to get to her phone.
He pushed her onto the couch pinning her wrists over her head , kissing her neck while his other hand pushed down inside her underwear.
“Stop ! I don’t want to do this … Zack , get off me!” she cried out trying to push him off , tears started streaming down her face. “Get off me , please…”
It didn’t matter what she said , he kept going .. pulling down her PJ’s and undoing the buttons on his jeans.
Y/N felt so helpless in that moment , unable to do anything but wait for it to be over. Every attempt to fight him off failed , all her words went poof in the air… She had thought Zack was this nice guy and it had turned out that he was anything but.
“Stop please ..” she begged him again in between sobs , trying to pull herself away from him.
There was a loud bang coming from the front door and suddenly Zack started choking , his body lifting up in the air a few steps off the ground , his legs kicking at nothing while his hands tried to free the invisible grip on his neck.
Y/N looked around , her eyes falling on Kai who looked ready to tear Zack apart, his eyes burning with anger.
“I believe she said she wants you to stop. You should’ve listened.” Kai said , fury in his voice. “How should I end you ? Should I break your neck or rip out your heart?” he paused for a moment thinking. “Maybe first I will break every bone in your body as a punishment for laying a finger on her.”
Y/N stood frozen for a moment before pulling back up her PJ’s and running into Kai’s arms.
Kai pulled her close , tearing his eyes away from Zack , who’s face was already purple / blueish , looking at her with tears in his eyes. The girl he loved , who had nearly been raped by someone she had trusted. Kai didn’t even dare thinking what would’ve happened to her if he hadn’t decided to come to her house that evening and try to talk to her. His heart broke all over again looking at Y/N. She looked so scared and shaken to the core.

A few days after their break up , Kai came home finding a box with all things he had left in Y/N’s house - t-shirts , pictures …and the key he had given her so she could walk in at any time , even if he wasn’t home. He sat on the floor unable to bring himself to look through the things in the box. He had expected to find a ‘surprise’ like this one at some point but not this soon. Part of him had hoped they’d be able to repair their relationship , that this wasn’t the end …
Kai sat alone in the darkness , unable to fall asleep or even close his eyes because every time he did , Y/N’s face showed up behind his eyelids … The moment he had told her he regretted every second spent loving her ,the cracks in her heart visible through her eyes… He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been in that moment , talking without thinking not realising the consequences of his actions.
His days were mostly spent trying not to go looking for her ,except he failed miserably at it. A few times he had used a cloaking spell , sneaking up into her house or following her around town. It hurt him seeing her like this - she looked like a ghost , walking down the street or sitting on the couch curled up into a ball crying. She’d look in his direction or walk past him , he’d reach out to touch her before stopping himself.
A few times he had seen her come to his house in the middle of the night , just sitting on the porch… Kai would sit by the window in the dark , looking at her trying to work up the nerve to open the door and talk to her. To apologise for all the pain he had caused. One time she fell asleep and he carried her home. He didn’t think Y/N would be happy if when she wakes up finds herself in their old bedroom with him leaning over her.
None of those moments compared to the ones when he saw her with other guys. He liked seeing her smile , but hated that it was someone else making her smile and not him. His jealousy always won in the end.
Y/N had been the light in his life … and now he was living in literal and metaphorical darkness. He barely fed , not unless it was on one of the guys trying to take her away from him forever.

Kai flicked his wrist , breaking one of Zack’s legs , then the other not once but twice. He loosened the grip enough for Zack  to take a breath before breaking one of his ribs. Y/N reached for his hand , lowering it down.
“No … don’t.” she said , her voice trembling. “He will get what’s coming …Let him go.”
Kai looked at her as if she were insane. “That guy just tried to … ” he swallowed hard, unable to even say the word. “.. he deserves to suffer and bleed out for what he did.”
“No , he will stain the carpet.” she said , a small smile on her face. “It will be hell to clean up afterwards.”
Kai laughed , a genuine laugh for the first time in months. Y/N brushed away a tear rolling down his cheek , her fingers tracing every inch of his face as if seeing him for the first time. Kai let Zack down on the ground watching him squirming in pain. Y/N walked over to him , kneeling down.
“You wanted to know what’s so scary about my friends…? Compared to my boyfriend ,” she motioned to Kai ,“ my friends are harmless fluffy kittens.”
Kai’s eyes lit up when she said ‘my boyfriend’ and he smiled for a moment. He loved hearing her say those words.
“What are we going to do with you now , Zack? … ” she muttered more to herself than to anyone else.
“What kind of a freak is that guy ?” Zack spit out , pointing at Kai. “I’ll report you to -”
“To who ?” Kai interrupted. “The cops ? I think they’d be more interested in what you tried to do to her. Be grateful she stopped me or you would’ve been 2 meters under ground right now…” he knelt down next to Y/N , grabbing Zack’s shoulders. “Listen to me very carefully you little piece of … … You were in a car accident on your way to Y/N’s house to tell her you are not interested in her. You will forget all about me and what I did to you .. and you will move so far away from here , you’ll fall off the edge of the map. Got it?”

*   *   *

“I’m going to burn that couch.” Y/N muttered after they had dealt with Zack and he was sent on his 'marry way’ in an ambulance with compelled doctors. “Are you going to help me or what?” she said glancing at Kai who laughed at her comment.
“It’s not the couch’s fault this happened …. It’s mine.” he said taking a step towards her. “I … I never should’ve let you leave that night. If my pride hadn’t gotten the worst out of me , none of this would’ve happened.” His gaze fell on the ground.
Y/N took his hand in hers. “You can’t blame yourself for this… it was my fault too.” she said , Kai lifting his gaze to meet hers.
“No! No , it wasn’t. It was all me.” he raised his voice. “I said so many things I didn’t mean that night , pushed you away and didn’t follow you after. I should have followed you , I … I should’ve done everything I could to get you back and I didn’t… and then when I saw you with all those guys , it felt like I was losing you all over again… and then you met this idiot. I saw you happy with him and I knew I had lost you forever.”
Y/N looked into his eyes , seeing her pain reflected in them. Now that she saw him up close , there were dark circles under his eyes , his skin was grayish. She ran her fingers through his hair , watching him close his eyes for a moment enjoying her touch. Her hand resting on his cheek , Kai’s hand reaching for it to hold it. He opened his eyes , blinking back tears. It broke her heart seeing him like this. Kai never liked tears , not in her eyes and definitely not in his eyes.
“I am so so sorry for everything , Y/N. I’m sorry for causing you all this pain , putting you through hell … I …”
“Stop talking.” she said suddenly.
“No , you need to know. … and then you’ll never see or hear from me again , just like you wanted. Y/N , I -”
Y/N shut him up with a kiss , wrapping her hands around his neck , running her fingers through his hair tugging on it , pulling him closer.. Kai looked surprised for a second and then pulled her closer to him too , his lips hungrily wanting more. In that moment all the pain from the past few months disappeared as if it had never happened. It felt like two pieces of the same heart had finally connected and everything in the world seemed right again. Their lips perfect match for each other , their bodies perfectly fitting together.
“I never stopped loving you… ” he said softly , pulling away from the kiss with a wide smile on his face. “I love you … I .. I always will.”
Y/N smiled widely back at him pressing her lips to his again before speaking.
“I never stopped loving you either , Malachai.” she said. He didn’t even wince hearing his full name like he usually did… She pressed her lips against his again. “I love you! Always and forever.” she said smiling.
He let out a small laugh. “I missed hearing you say my name.” he said cupping her face , his thumbs gently rubbing her cheeks and resting his forehead on hers. “I missed seeing the spark in your eyes , your lips .. everything. I missed you.”
Kai kissed her deeply , wrapping his arms around her tighter than ever.
“I am never letting you go again.”
“I wouldn’t let you even if you wanted me to.” she said smiling.


MASTERLIST March / April 2017


Friends to lovers - Kai Parker Imagine

Hey! this is my first time writing smut so it isn’t very good but i tried my best and i am planning to get better at it so i can write a lot more.

Word count: 1285

Warnings - smut

Originally posted by babyblueeyes1864

Y/N and Kai had been friends ever since they were little. They basically grew up together since they’re parents were friends due to their similar powers. Y/N always knew that Kai was troubled and was a cast out of his family but she didn’t care, he was her best friend and she wouldn’t leave him. That was until the day he was forced to leave her due to his little outburst which included him killing 4 of his siblings and attempting to kill the other three.  His family sent him to a prison world because of this. I only know this because I watched it happen as I was walking to his house for his birthday.

It had been 20 years and Y/N still missed her best friend, Kai, every day. Even though she moved to Mystic Falls, made new friends and made a new life for herself, she still couldn’t get the image of Kai’s face when he realised what his family were doing to him, on his birthday of all days. It was heart-breaking. In spite of all of this, she had moved on with her life. Since then, she hadn’t experienced the loss of a close friend, until the day that two of her best friends died.

Damon was the first person that Y/N had met when she moved to Mystic Falls 19 years ago. Once she had found out about vampires and the perks of being one, she convinced her friend to turn her into one and she loved it. She could move faster than any human, she could never die and she could heal people with her own blood, and if she wanted to, she could turn all of her feelings off with just a button inside of her head. Shortly after she moved, Damon left Mystic Falls and she left with him until they both came back 3 years ago and that is when she met all of her best friends; Stefan, Elena, Caroline, Matt, Tyler and Bonnie. 

After Bonnie and Damon had died, she felt exactly like she did when she witnessed Kai become imprisoned in his own world, all by himself. Every since that day, she regrets not telling him her true feelings towards him and she never thought she’d have a chance, not until Damon came back and explained that he had met Kai. Y/N couldn’t believe it when he said that he could bring back Bonnie and her best friend, Kai. 

One day, Damon came through the door of his house, shouting for everyone to come into the living room.

“What do you want, i was taking a nap” mumbled Y/N.

“Today is the day that we bring back Bonnie, my dear Y/N. And your weird murderous friend that you never shut up about” Damon exclaimed while rolling his eyes.

Originally posted by theeskyisthelimit

‘This is it’ Y/N thought to herself ‘This is the day that i get to tell Kai that i love him’

Kai’s POV:

I missed her so much. No matter how long ive been in here, which is a long time by the way, so long that ive lost count how many days, i still love her. The only thing that has kept me from going crazy in here is the image of her face, her smile and the hurt on her face when she watched my family betray me 20 years ago. 

At the minute, im stuck in this terrible prison world with a girl that hates me and no way of getting out anytime soon as she sent all her magic away. If only i didn’t almost kill her. Not being able to talk to someone who actually likes me is boring. I miss Y/N and im going to do anything i have to to get back to her, no matter how long its been for her. 


Waiting around is my least favourite thing to do although it does give me a bit of time to think of what i’m going to say to Kai when he comes out of that prison world. 

After a long wait, Liv and Luke managed to get Damon into the prison world to bring back Bonnie and Kai. Y/N would of went but Damon snapped her neck before she could even walk into eye sight of Liv and Luke.

When Y/N woke up, she noticed a figure in her doorway. After a few seconds of allowing her eyes to adjust, she noticed it was Kai. She ran into his arms and stayed like that for a few minutes before getting down.

“My god i’ve missed you so much Y/N” croaked Kai, struggling to keep the tears in. 

And in that second, Y/N looked up at Kai with so much love and finally did the thing she had longed for ever since Kai disappeared from her all those years ago.

“I love you Kai Parker, i’ve never stopped loving you and i never will”

Their lips collided and it felt like heaven for both of them. They both started walking towards Y/N’s bed, their lips never leaving each others.The only time they did, was to take each other’s shirts off and throw them across the room. 

Kai slowly lowered Y/N down on to the bed, hovering over her and staring into her eyes. 

“I love you too” Kai admitted back to Y/N

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Hidden (Part 6)

It’s tempting for Jinyoung to sit still in his office when he knows he has more of his memories with Hanna stored away in the locked drawer below his desk. The ones he shredded in front of Soojung weren’t the last. He knew his heart would long for his late-wife (if he could call her that), so he had to keep the remaining photos elsewhere. As soon as break comes, he requests that no one interrupts him as he’ll be having his lunch alone. It’s the perfect excuse to get a glimpse of the memories after so long.

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Scribble-Doodle: A Different Kind of a Win

A parabatai pre-series story set in a world of A/B/O. The story deals with Alec’s canon feelings for Jace.

Jace asks Alec to become his parabatai. But Alec has a secret. Or two.

“Tell me one good reason for why you don’t want us to be parabatai!” Jace exclaims, exasperated, and throws his hands up.

Alec stops with his back to Jace. His hand’s on the doorknob and his head’s down. One good reason? he thinks hopelessly. I can give you two. I’m in love with you and… 

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Karamel Fanfic #35

~Karamel Appreciation Week~
day 7: free choice (fanfiction)

Title: For Love

Prompt: Kara and Mon-El are finally getting married, and they couldn’t be happier about it.

Word Count: 4059

Also posted on AO3

Notes: Finally managed to write a Karamel wedding fanfic, which had been sitting in my prompt list for a very long time now. Honestly, I needed this fluff. 

I hope you like this!

Originally posted by karamelmondaes

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Bad Girl Ch 21: Haneul The Woman Who Knows All

Okay this is a decently long chapter in Haneul’s, Taemin’s girlfriend and Jooyoung’s friend, point of view. I hope you enjoy the outer point of view and a bit of insight on Zico!

Haneul’s POV

I sigh pulling what little hair I have left into a pitiful pony tail that is barely as long as my fingers. A familiar song buzzes through my lips, filling my bedroom with the haunting tune. It’s a song that has been on my mind all day, weighing on my mind with both old memories and new worries. That poor little girl.

Jiho. Zico.

The strange dog that is always on her heels. I stop playing with my hair and let my hands drop into my lap. When will she figure it out? Will she ever even try to? Another sigh leaves my lips. She has to know that something isn’t right with this man, who I know truly loves her as a younger sibling but has a large amount of guilt in his heart right next to that love. I sigh.

“Three sighs in a row? Someone is deep in thought about someone else’s stupidity,” Taemin muses as he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders.

I jump, “You scared me!”

He chuckles, “I was talking to you about breakfast, you were just ignoring me.”

“Sorry Pretty boy I’m just worried about some things.”

“What’s wrong?” The playful air around him shifts, his eyes focused on my face for any tell, something I won’t give him.

“Nothing really, it’s Jooyoung related, I don’t want to bother you with it.”

He groans, “How many times have I told you to mind your own business when it comes to that girl?”

I flick his nose, “She is lost in this big scary world, I’m just trying to help the little girl figure things out a bit.”

“How do you expect her to grow thicker skin if you are always shielding her from everything.”

“That girl has seen plenty, enough bad things have happened to her.”

“You have had worse,” He points out kissing my neck softly. “I don’t want you worrying about her when you have your own demons.”

I chuckle and pat his head, “I dealt with my demons long ago after an angel swooped in and saved me.”

He peeks up a frown set on his handsome face, “Speaking of which why did you invite him to dinner?”

“Why so hostile?” I muse, “He’s your cousin last time I checked.”

“That doesn’t I have to like him.”

I set a signature glare on him, “He saved me, I think that should be enough to earn him some kind of kindness from you.”

“I know but I saved you too.”

“As I remember I repaid that dept.”

He puffs his cheeks, “I know but-“

I finally stand up, making the tall man jump back, his hands are up, ready for whatever he thinks could happen. “But nothing. I still owe Yixing a debt, my life is his until my debt is repaid, I got down on my knees that day and swore that to him. I am nothing if not a woman of my word, remember?”

“How in the world could I forget some of the first words you ever said to me, a woman of her word,” He hums with a smile, kissing my forehead he sighs, “I’m sorry for getting you riled up.” Yet again I find his arms around me.

“I can’t be mad at my pretty boy,” I coo returning his hug.

“I have to get ready for work, any chance I could get breakfast?”

“It is almost three in the afternoon, what do you mean breakfast?”

He frowns, “”It’s not my fault we slept so late, I worked so late and I couldn’t come home until after midnight.”

“You are right, that wasn’t your fault,” He smiles triumphantly, though only for a moment. “But it was your fault that we were up until almost seven in the morning.”

“No it wasn’t! It’s fucking Onew’s fault for keeping me out all week. I haven’t been able to touch you in forever!”

I chuckle as his childishness, “How about I pay for dinner? Sound fair?”

“You know I’m not letting you do that.”

“Fine than, I don’t know what you want from me than. I’m going.” I twirl out of his embrace and rush out the bedroom door. I make it through our living room and reach the door handle to leave our apartment when he catches me. His whole body is pressed against my back, his one hand clasps over both of mine over the knob while his other rests flat on the door against my head.

“Are you sure you can’t cancel our plans for tonight? I don’t think I got enough of you last night.” He leans down and whispers in my ear.

“You got plenty.”

“Oh no my Hannie,” His hand finds its’ way to my midsection, his fingers caress the skin peeking out between my jeans and crop top. “I can never get enough of you.” A groan escapes my lips as his other hand drags up  my thigh, sending tingles through out my whole body. I need to get out of here before he can drag me back to our bedroom. With a smirk I let my head lull, resting it against the door making him think he as won, “How about we head back?”

“Yes Oppa!” I moan. His hands freeze, I can just imagine the dumbstruck look on his face but I can’t waste any time and slip out the door. Leaving my boyfriend to deal with the problem in his pants alone. I can’t shake the smile on my lips after playing the oppa card. Since Tae and I are only six months apart it’s not required for me to use it so I don’t, no matter how much he wants me too. Instead I use the word to my advantage to either stun him, like I did just now, or to make him cave to whatever I’m asking of him. His reactions are always the best, a chuckle actually leaves my lips at jus the thought.

I tuck my hands in my pockets as I stand in the elevator and press the button for the lobby. I mindlessly hum along to the song in the elevator and come back to my thoughts from before. Kim Jooyoung. She sure has found herself in quiet the bind. I step out of the elevator, greeting the ladies in the lobby with my usual smile before stepping out on to the chilly street.

“Noona!” A few voices call happily right outside the door.

“Holy shit!” I jump back against the door, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Sorry Noona,” The three boys apologize, bowing their heads.

“What the hell you guys?” I snap at them, “What are you doing here? Tae is upstairs.”

“Due to recent activities Hyung is worried for your safety and asked us to accompany you to your errands today,” Their leader Taeyong replies.

I roll my eyes, “That’s why he was trying to keep me inside.”

He nods, knowing not to even try lying for the stupid man upstairs.

“Well I’m assuming you guys are going to follow no matter what I say?”

The three nod.

I click my tongue, “Great. What the hell happened now?”

“The white dragon had one of the new gangs completely massacred after they kidnapped one of the younger members of BAP. A few of that new gang’s acquaintances are thinking of rebelling by targeting bigger organizations and pinning it on the black dragons. Hyung is worried you might be a target so he assigned us to watch over you until he get rid of them.”

I whistle, “My baby is a bad ass.”

Taeyong blushes, “I’ll be sure to tell the boss that.”

“Not Taemin, I’m talking about Joo, she’s really kicking ass.”

The three try not cracking a smile but fail.

“Okay, we should get going but I shouldn’t be needing you for too long. I’m meeting up with Joo in a little bit so we will have her guard dog watching over us.” I lead the boys down the street towards my first stop.

Ten blanches, “She is the one that started this, now you are going to spend time with her?”

“Didn’t you mommy ever teach you to become friends with the baddest kid on the playground so no one else will fuck with you?”

“Noona,” Johnny chimes in with his handsome smile, “I always thought that was you.”

I chuckle, “I am, but that little girl is making her way up there.”

“It’s a bit unfair don’t you think?” Taeyong mumbles softly.

I sigh, “In a way, yes, but I don’t wish the things I went through to get here on that poor child. No one deserves that.”

They all nod.

The walk to our first stop is completely silent, I pick up a few things I ordered from this little store and hand the foreign groceries to the boys. Next is some high class store Taemin always sends me to for dresses and other nice clothing that I only where to events. Again I hand the bags to my shadows before heading to our second to last stop. It’s a bit of a walk but no one complains until we reach our actual destination.

“Noona, do we really have to go in there?” Taeyong is blushing once again just looking at the sign above the door. I chuckle at their wide eyed reactions to my work place.

“Come on boys, there aren’t any dancers at the moment, you will be fine. You guys should come here some time, they specialize in foreign dancers, they are amazing, trust me.” We walk inside and are automatically greeted warmly by one of the many beautiful works, though she is clothed more during the day hours of the fancy, yet raunchy establishment.

“Hannie unni! What are you doing here? You aren’t supposed to be here unless we are closed!” Even though she is attempting to scold me she welcomes me with a hug.

“I know, I’m breaking the rules but I have body guards so I feel like it should be fine,” I wave behind me at the three boys that are towering over me right on my heels.

“Welcome boys to Seoul’s most exclusive gentlemen’s club,” She winks at them. They all turn bright pink.

“I’m not here to get them laid, I just want to check in, make sure we haven’t had any reports or issues.”

She chuckles, “Like we could with how strict you are with all the rules. You treat us amazing and the gentlemen are happy with clean girls who are also amazing in bed.”

“I just get worried every now an than since I’m never around anymore.”

“Yixing oppa and Taemin-ssi would probably murder you for being here now.”

I groan, “I know, I know, but I didn’t just come here for a check in,” I lean in closer so my shadows can’t hear. “I was wondering if you have heard anything about Block B lately.”

“You are the only person who really knows about them. I hear little things here and there but they are things you have already told me. You know you are the person everyone comes to for information, why are you looking around for them? Got someone you want to burn?”

“They’ve been laying lower for awhile, I have kept an eye on their leader but the others are MIA. If you see any of them around send them my way okay?”

“Of course,” She smiles at me, the boys shift uneasy with the conversation they missed.

“Thank you for all your help Love, let me know if anything happens or if I need to kick someone’s ass.”

She chuckles, “Yes Unni. Enjoy the life of a stay at home wife, I can’t wait until can do that.”

I blow her a kiss as I go. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be being a mobster’s stay at home girlfriend. It’s so boring for someone who used to be someone in this world too. Yes, I’m still a big player but not like I used to be. I am Haneul the woman who knows all. I am still her but my name can barely be mentioned without Taemin’s. I groan as I reorganize my thoughts to focus on the man I see coming out the skyscraper before me.


He smiles down the pretty little silver haired girl next to him, looking so much different than before. His gray suit is perfectly fitted, his blond hair is gelled out of his face making him look normal. The years have been kind to him. I remember his horrible dreads and ratty clothes, back when he was more of a street gangster. As they come our way we make eye contact, I don’t make my normal bitchy comments, too deep in thought. Does he know that I know who he is? We have never officially met on the crime side of our world but I know his other members, Taeil is an acquaintance of mine, a crazy bastard but he can get the job done. Kyung and I were close enough to the point where I could say we are friends but him, like the rest of his members, have been laying lower for a year or so only reaching out at random times. I always welcome his calls or meetings with a smile. I have a soft spot for the little girl getting closer by the moment but I don’t burn bridges for a soft spot.

“Unni!” She calls to me with a bright smile that has me returning one automatically.

“Hello sweet girl,” I coo bringing her in for a tight hug. Ignoring the guilty feeling for not feeling guilt about holding her small frame in the same arms that have hugged two of the men who have tortured her. My eyes drift to the dog standing less than a few feet behind her. I can’t imagine how guilt he feels for doing the same.

“Are you okay Unni? Is something wrong?” She eyes the three boys acting the same as her own guard dog, on edge, ready to jump into action.

“You started some trouble,” I muse ruffling her hair. “Taemin is just worried that is all. I told them that they could be relived when I caught you and your own guard dog. Would you like to go to dinner tonight? I have a reservation at a nice place in a couple hours, I figured we could go shopping in between now and than.”

“I would love to but I have go get home, I have plans with-“

I cut her off, “You’ll be able to cross one of those names off your list if you say yes. I already called Xingxing and had him reschedule your other plans, are you going to let that angel of a man down?”

“Xingxing? Angel?”

I chuckle, “Yixing and I have been friends for a long time, we call each other a lot of things.”

“I guess my only answer can be yes,” She laughs. “Come on Oppa, guess we are going shopping.”

Zico rolls his eyes, “Great.”

“I guess mine can take us if your puppy needs a rest,” I tease. He glares at me. I wrap my arm thru hers’ and drag her along, humming that song again.

“Unni don’t tell me you know that song too!” She nearly screams. “Everyone has been telling me how familiar it is but no one can place it.” If we weren’t in front of this little girl right now I know Zico would have his hands around my throat right now, his eyes say it all.

“I know where it’s from,” I answer honestly. It basically Block B’s anthem, they would play the tune when they would chase their victims, though it wasn’t played in her case due to Zico’s pervious time with the girl. Instead he did the opposite of their usual method, he hums the song to calm her though in the past they would use it to torment the victims they let survive.

“Where?” She asks excitedly.

I lock eyes with Zico, humming for a moment I sigh, “It just slipped my mind. I’ll try and remember and tell you later, okay?”


“Hey Unni,” Joo mumbles softly as we wiggle into opposite sides of the booth. We arrived at the restaurant at exactly seven o’clock, not surprised to find the boys not here. After a full two hours of shopping we changed in the dressing rooms at one of the shops we were in. I picked out a cute pink dress for her and some tan thigh high boots to go with it. For myself I found a black leather skirt and a nice black tank top with a deep V. Heels that lace up like ballerina slippers are the best part of my out fit, going all the way up to my knee. My black wavy hair reaches just blow my shoulder while Joo’s goes all the way down her back; I eye it with jealousy.


“Did you know what would happen when you sent me into the hallway that day at your house?” I can tell it took her a lot of courage to finally ask me the question that has been weighing down on her mind all day.

“Not 100% but I sent you out there because I knew you would get back to him that way,” I answer honestly. It was a bit selfish of me, I know that, but they would have found out she was the real thing at some point. I just made some point that moment. “Are you upset that I ruined your fairytale ending with Jiyong?”

She shakes her head, “It was good that I found out.”

“How are things with them?” I wonder, honestly curious about how all of that could be working.

She sighs, “It’s a bit of a hot mess. I’m trying to give everyone their time but it’s hard because I have things beyond them now.”

“How are you managing the whole daddy thing?” I question carelessly, not caring about the people near by casting us strange looks.

Her face turns pink, “How do you know about that?”

“I know everything,” I muse. Yixing’s kinky ass hasn’t changed a bit, as he best friend all know all of his kinks, though I didn’t imagine his brothers had the same problem.

“It can be a bit difficult at times. They are doing a lot better than I expected with me um, being big all the time but I see it sometimes where they wished I was acting little.”

“Have you thought of rewarding them for being so accept?”


I sigh, “You silly girl, how do you expect them to be the only one to bend? If you keep asking more of them without giving in return it’s only a given they are going to snap.”

She nods, “What should I do?”

“Give them a little.”

She doesn’t have a chance to respond before we are joined by our handsome dates. Taemin hugs me when he slides into the booth, his eyes drift around the restaurant, “Where are Taeyong and his boys?”

“I shooed them away awhile ago. Jiho has been watching over us,” I explain with a smile.

“Noona can take care of herself, you got her guards?” Yixing scoffs after hugging a cute looking Joo.

“If some little miss wouldn’t have started fights I wouldn’t be worried,” Tae glares daggers at her.

“We aren’t talking about that kind of stuff right now,” I snap. “We are having a good time, I have never been on a double date before, this should be fun, right Joo-ya?”

She nods.

“I hate sharing my time with you,” Taemin mumbles with his lips pressed against my temple. His arm rests on my shoulders, holding me close even in such a spacious booth.

“If it makes you feel better I feel the same,” Yixing matches Tae’s action, pulling Jooyoung basically on his lap.

We continue our playful banter through out dinner. The men never leaving our sides like they are glued to us, but Joo and I just smile. Having both Yixing and Taemin together is strange because even though they are a big part of my life they rarely ever cross paths but when they do it’s a memorable event, but I do have to say this is one of their better meetings. We are done with our dessert, about getting ready to leave when Yixing calls for all our attention.

“Noona, I was going to tell you this over the phone but this is something I need to do in person,” For the first time tonight he lets go of Joo and takes my hands away from Taemin to hold them in his own. “I want you to know that your debt to me is repaid.”

For a moment I think I heard him wrong until I hear Taemin cheering next to me. “Repaid,” I echo. Yixing nods with a big smile his arms return to their place around Joo.

“You have given me a reason to live again, I would say we are definitely even.”

“Woooo!” I basically crawl across the table to hug him, ignoring the looks from the staff, the only people still in the restaurant. “I can finally work again!”

“Like hell you are!” Taemin stops cheering.

“Why not? The only reason I stopped working was because you and Yixing made a deal that you would support me until I repaid him,” I stick my tongue out at him.

He stops to think of a good come back, giving Joo a moment to question, “What exactly did Yixing oppa do for you?”

I smile at the small girl, “He saved my life.”

I know she wants to know more but Taemin doesn’t want to get into it, he quickly begins dragging me out of the booth, “I think it’s time we start heading home before it gets too late.”

He shrugs off his jacket before wrapping it around my shoulders, “I guess, thank you all for granting me this wish. I hope you two have a good night.” I hug Joo when she gets out of the booth, followed by my arms wrapping around Yixing neck in a grateful hug. “Thank you.”

“You have done a lot for me over the years, I owe you at least this.”

“One last thing I need to give you,” I hold on tighter so I can whisper in his ear, “Beware those who hang around your little doll.” I lean away with a smile on my face, his eyes flick over to where Jiho is sitting across the restaurant. Placing a kiss on his cheek I add, “There is another, one with a fowler scent, maybe a pig?”

He leans away, his eyes wide, making me chuckle as I bop his nose with my finger.

“Keep those eyes wide. I won’t be watching after her anymore.”

Way Too Easy

Written for the prompt: Will you pretend to be my date to my family’s holiday party so they’ll stop harassing me about being single? There’s food in it for you.

Dean agrees to accompany Castiel to the Novak family party as his boyfriend, but finds himself regretting it when he starts to forget that they’re not actually dating. (1.9k)


Dean knew from the way Castiel stomped into their apartment and threw his backpack forcefully on the armchair that he was in a bad mood. His roommate was generally a happy person, but when he got angry it was not a pretty sight. Luckily, Dean and Cas had been roommates for three years now, and Dean had gotten very good at reading his emotions and calming him down when he was angry.

“What’s wrong, Cas?” Dean asked, looking up from his book.

“Nothing,” Cas muttered, tearing his jacket off and throwing it down on top of his backpack.

“Come on Cas; we both know that’s a lie. What happened? Is this about your psychology test?”

“No, Dean, it’s not, it’s–” He broke off then exclaimed, “Why the hell do they care if I’m dating anyone anyway? It’s none of their business and it’s not my fault if I’m not.”

“Whoa, slow down, Cas,” Dean said, brain working to catch up to what Castiel was saying. “Who cares who you’re dating?”

Cas sighed. “My family. I just talked to my parents, and they asked if I would be bringing anyone to our family Christmas party this weekend, as a date, and when I said no, my mom sighed in pity and my dad reminded me that I’m not getting any younger. I’m twenty-one!” Castiel was practically shouting now. “And every time I see Gabriel, he teases me about it, asking if I’m dating anyone or ‘getting any,’ as he says, and I know it’s not meant to be malicious, but it still hurts.”

Cas finally stopped to catch his breath and when he gazed at Dean with his large blue eyes, Dean felt his heart twist.

I would love to go to that party with you as your actual boyfriend, Dean thought, but he couldn’t say that, no matter how much he wanted to. The last thing he wanted to do was complicate or ruin their friendship by misreading the situation.

For a second, Dean thought that Cas must be a mind reader, because his face suddenly brightened and the next words out of his mouth were, “You could be my date!”

Keep reading

Reconnection (a Zen fic-series)

a/n: well hello everyone!! it’s been forever i know….. i actually wrote this quite a while ago with the intention to post it but aaa… idk…. anyways. i hope you guys like it! let me know what you think!! and if you’re at all interested in the continuation!! love you guys so much. thank you for being patient with me. ♥

You were mid-laugh when your eyes locked with him from across the café.  The connection lasted less than a second, but your laughter dissolved and your smile nearly faded completely. You snapped your happy demeanor back as quickly as it went, however. Your hope being that the man sitting across from you hadn’t noticed.  Turning to face him again, though, you knew he had.

“Something wrong?” he asked with a look of only mild concern on his face.

The man you were sharing a drink with was named Joowon. You knew him from work. Your relationship with him wasn’t exactly professional any longer, but it was definitely platonic.

You chuckled lightly in response to his question, contemplating how to answer. Was there really a reason to try and cover it up? You were close with Joowon after all. He’d get it out of you eventually, anyways.

“My ex is here,” you said finally.

Joowon grimaced in a sympathetic way. “Bad break, then?”

You flashed him a small, almost sad smile before responding. “No, actually.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Joowon said before nonchalantly taking a sip of his coffee.

You hummed softly in response, trying to decide if you should give him more details. It would be nice to get it out. Especially to someone who wasn’t intimately familiar with both you and your ex. He ended up deciding for you while you were lost in thought.

“So, are you gonna elaborate or just deprive me of the details?” he said with a cheeky grin.

He was trying to get you to smile as the atmosphere had suddenly become a bit too tense for his liking, but he was also genuinely interested. His interest spurred from concern of course, though only in part. Truly, he was just very curious as you rarely talk about personal matters such as this.

You took a long sip from your own coffee, closing your eyes and mentally preparing yourself for the untouched feelings you were about to bring to the surface once more. You had been ignoring the nagging thoughts of words left unsaid and things left undone for months. Perhaps it was time to finally face them.

“It happened slowly,” you began while placing your cup down on the table between the two of you. “Like watching something die… powerless to stop it.”

Joowon studied your features intently, wondering if maybe he should withdraw his curiosity.

You continued however, with little hesitation. “It was my fault, truly.”

Joowon started to protest, thinking you were just beating yourself up. You waved him off, though, insisting what you had said was completely truthful.

“Let me explain.”

And so you did. You detailed how your mind and heart began to wander and how you foolishly thought there was something more out there waiting for you. As you spoke, you stole glances in your ex’s direction. Only succeeding in fueling the emotions that had begun to bubble as you told your story.

“It was only ever intended to be a break… time to figure things out,” you said after you’d finished explaining how it had gotten to that point. “But, we didn’t know how to just be friends anymore… and eventually we just stopped talking altogether.”

You took a moment to collect your thoughts after having just spoken about something you’d vowed to keep inside you. You stared at your hands, wondering how it came to be that your ex had shown up here today. Though, the realization hit you suddenly. It wasn’t such a ludicrous thing for him to have been here at this specific café. You two had come here a lot when you were together after all. How you hadn’t realized it until then was truly telling of how much you’d tried to forget him. Part of you knew, though. It had been you who suggested this location to meet with Joowon today. Your subconscious memories of him influenced that decision, clearly.

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Joowon’s voice broke through your thoughts, startling you a bit.

You lifted your gaze and turned it to fully look at your ex as he chatted with one of the baristas. He hadn’t seemed to change a bit. Frozen in time; beautiful as always.

Your eyes were still tentatively glued to him as you responded to Joowon. “I… don’t know.”

Was that true? Or had you just convinced yourself that it was?

“Well, I’m no expert, but it seems there might be something unresolved there.”

He was right, truly; you knew that. But, what could you do about it now? After so much time had passed? Your eyes fell back to your hands.

“There’s not much that can be done about it now,” you smiled weakly as you voiced your thoughts.

In another effort to break the uncomfortable tension, Joowon suggested something of a game. “Let me see if I can guess which guy in here is your ex.”

You looked up at him, smiling wider than you had previously. “Good luck.”

“I’ll definitely need that luck. There’s an alarming number of dudes by themselves in here today.” he chuckled before sweeping his gaze around the café.

“Okay… how about the brunette leaning a bit too close into his laptop?” he suggested.

You didn’t even have to search for the man to know that he was wrong. Your ex was no brunette. You told him to try again, silently worrying what would be said when he finally did guess correctly.

“The dude in the green sweater who seems to be in an intimate relationship with his phone?”

Wrong again. You had stared at your ex long enough earlier to know that he was wearing a leather jacket. His favorite leather jacket, in fact. You shook your head with a small laugh, telling him to try again.

“So, I wasn’t going to guess this guy, but I’m all out of likely suspects,” he explained.

You scanned the café, seeing the two he had guessed previously and silently agreeing you would have been a bit offended had he guessed any of the other lone guys here.

“There’s a guy with long, silver hair over there staring intently at a stack of papers… is it him?”

You almost immediately told him he was right but thought of what he said previously. “Why weren’t you going to guess him?”

Joowon shrugged. “He’s attractive enough, just doesn’t seem to be your type is all.”

“I see…” you trailed off.

Joowon’s eyes widened a bit. “I’m right then?”

You nodded, a tiny blush rising to tint your cheeks ever so slightly.

“Really? Huh…” he rubbed his chin, seeming to think about it for a moment. “What does he do?”

You shifted in your seat, a bit uncomfortable with the fact that he could now put a face to your ex’s name. “He’s a musical actor.”

Joowon raised an eyebrow but quickly shrugged it off. “I think you should try and talk to him.”

Now that really made you laugh.

“Laugh all you want, but I’ve noticed him stealing a few glances in our direction,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest. “Although he looked a bit… put off a couple times.”

The residual smile from your previous laughter curled into a coyer one. “I can guess why.”

You continued to smile to yourself, recalling how easily your ex became jealous. Though you doubted his current motivator was jealousy. He was always protective, especially in regards to other men, even before you two had gotten together. Your heart skipped a beat at the realization that he must still care at least enough about you to worry for your safety.

“What do you have to lose by talking to him?” Joowon asked suddenly.

A great many things came to mind. You had no way of knowing your ex’s feelings or where he currently was in life. So much could have changed since you last spoke.

You shook your head, still smiling. “And how do you propose I initiate this conversation?”

Joowon leaned back in his seat, really seeming to give it some thought.  Why he seemed so intent on helping you reconnect with your ex was beyond you.

After a brief moment, he leaned forward once more and placed his clasped hands on the table. “Finish your coffee, go throw away your cup, and just sit down across from him.”

You gave him an incredulous look – he can’t be serious. “’Just sit across from him?’” you repeated his words.

Your companion simply nodded as if to say “Why not?”. He couldn’t see anything going wrong with that scenario.

You could, of course. Briefly, you thought of your ex being cold to you or even outright ignoring you. However, you quickly cursed at yourself for thinking that way. Your ex didn’t have the heart to be that way. Of that, you were sure. At least… mostly sure. You cursed yourself again for doubting yourself. But, that evil, little voice in your head was being particularly loud right now.

You looked to Joowon, who was looking back at you expectantly. “…Fine…” you said with a sigh.

You had agreed, but if you would really go through with it was another thing entirely. You kept thinking of everything that could go wrong as you downed your last gulp of coffee. However, Joowon’s encouraging smile gave you a tiny confidence boost as you got up to throw away your cup.

Trying not to walk to close to your ex’s table, you made your way to the trash can, taking the long way around to reach it. After tossing the cup in the bin, you braced yourself against it and steeled yourself. You really had no idea what to expect from speaking to him. A million thoughts were going through your head. Taking a deep breath, you turned around, nearly marching towards your ex’s turned back. You rounded his unaware form and swiftly took the seat across from him.

He looked up at this point of course, his warm, red eyes almost chilling you. The look on his face mirrored your own. It was a look of confusion and of subtle pain. Pain stemming from everything that still hung in the air left unsaid when you two had parted ways.

“Hello, Zen,” you managed to say with a tiny smile.

War is Love Part 2

I had a lot of love from the first part. Let me know if there should be a part 3 ;)

Harry watched you from perform from the sidelines, his hand absentmindedly running across his lips. He hated to see you here, only because he knew exactly how much pain he had caused you. It amazed him to even find you before him, singing your heart out and bringing a star struck fan up on stage to sing with you. He caught himself smiling at your love for them. It never failed, you always seemed to find the fan that knew all of your songs to bring them up on stage. 

You were always thinking of them and it was one of the many things he had fallen in love with you for. Another being able to get lost in your music or any for the matter. It was how you two were able to connect so easily. Both letting music bring you two closer. He watched as you twirled the fan around and linked arms with them, allowing them to sing the rest of the song while you took a selfie with them. 

Harry knew that once the song was over, you’d ask for their name and then upload it later. It was something you’ve always done from the first day you were given the stage. You were forever in debt to your fans and you made sure that you tried to give a little every time you performed. He shifted as you did exactly what he expected you to do. 

He wasn’t sure if you had seen him and if you had, you were doing a great job at ignoring him because had he been the one on stage, he wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes off of you. Harry froze as you turned just in time for that thought to ran across his mind. Your eyes glimmered over him for just a moment as you accepted the guitar a stage member handed you. 

 Turning your full attention back towards the crowd, you climbed up on the stool. “You guys have been wonderful,” strumming a few chords to get your fingers warm, you sighed, “I’m more than happy with you guys being my first crowd in over a year.” Looking down at your hands, you tried to settle your increased heart rate from finally acknowledging his presence. Taking a deep breath, you smiled and looked into the excited eyes of the crowd who cheered. “I’ve got a present for you beautiful, beautiful people.” Swaying a little against the wind that picked up, “This is a song that won’t be available for a few more weeks-” screams and cheers filled the outdoor stadium. You sucked in air, wincing at the ear piercing sounds bouncing around. Laughing, “It’s the first and only full song that I’ve recorded in a year so I hope you guys enjoy it. It hits close to home…" 

Harry swallowed hard, his jaw clenching as you began to sing. He knew your voice like the back of his hand. He mentored you into the sound it was and it killed him to hear the breaks you tried hard to prevent. You always had a habit of letting your voice break during the songs that you truly felt and that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He couldn’t deny that your song sent chills down his body and it wasn’t just because of the words. You had kept your eyes closed the entire time, afraid that if you hadn’t, tears would be streaming down your face. This was the third time you had ever actually sang this song only because it hurt to much to sing it to yourself. 

"Here’s to the nights where I stood alone, to the nights I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe. I was never ready for you to leave. It was the hardest thing I’ll ever do, walking away while still loving you. And that doesn’t mean I wanted too, but I saw it coming. But that’s what happens when you let someone in, they destroy everything that could have been.” Humming a few notes, you opened your eyes slightly, feeling the tears build up inside. “If they asked me if I loved him, I would I say I do because no one gives the people they don’t love the power to destroy you.” Humming again, you took a deep breath and finished out your strum, “I was never ready for you to leave." 

You could feel the tear slid down your cheek but it was a bit relieving. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder. Hopping down off the stool with the guitar in one hand, you waved and blew the crowd kisses. They chanted and screamed your name, and at the moment, you were sure that they had loved the song just as much as you wanted them to. "I love you! Keep this beautiful energy up with the others. Goodnight, San Diego!" 

 Harry felt tense all over, his body was like lead as he looked around him to see if anyone was looking for his reaction. The muscles in his face tightened and strained against each other as he ducked around the corner. His strides were long and quick as he reached his dressing room for the evening. Closing the door shut behind him, he knocked down the rack that held clothing options for the night. Harry knew what he had done to you was wrong and he regretted his drunken decision the moment in happened. It was as if all the alcohol had dissipated the second the flash went off and captured that moment for the rest of his life. He ran both hands through his hair. 

Harry was angry not because you had written a song about him but because it wasn’t rage filled or sassy in any way. He expected you to own him but instead you took the harder way out and expressed how you deeply felt about the situation. He would rather you have sang about how he sometimes failed to entertain in bed even though you both knew it would be a complete lie. Just something other than a song that reminded him just how much he fucked up. 

All he wanted was to hold you tight and whisper promises he would die trying to keep. Never would he look at another girl again, never would he let alcohol consume him and convince him to do things he shouldn’t do. He still loved you. Hell, he never stopped loving you. You were his everything and more. He had just fallen victim to a weak moment and he knew you would never forgive him for it and Harry wouldn’t want you to. But, damn, that song filled him with anger.  

Harry wanted you to hate him because if you did, the tour would be easier to manage than to know that you still loved him and he was the douchebag that broke your heart. 


 Part three? Yay? Nay? 
 Spam me with reasons <3 ;)

Lighthouse Ch. 3 {Bucky Barnes FanFic}

Pairing:          Bucky X Black OC/Reader (BUT EVERYONE CAN READ)

Rating:            Mature (NSFW for certain chapters)

Warnings:      Angst, Smut, Mentions of Death, Language, 

Word Count:  2019

A/N:  So, this is the next to the last chapter (there will be an epilogue).  Thanks to everyone who’s read this little angsty mess, left love and comments and reblogged.  I don’t know how or why I wrote this but, sheeeesh, I am emotionally drained.  If you don’t know the song this story was inspired by, have a listen to Georgica Pond, by Johnnyswim.

Originally posted by fourteenyearswithpain

Cuz Time is the worst kind of friend

Always there ‘til you need it

But gone in the end

In the almost two months that they’ve been at this, the kids have developed a kind of routine.   It gives Bucky some semblance of solace, while filling him with a near heart wrenching grief.

They have their mother’s spirit, that’s for certain.  They have her unflinching will and inability to give up even when it all seems like such a lost cause.  And he knows that without them - without their smiles, their laughter, without them to hold his pieces together - without Naya’s mothering, without Grant’s humor, without Lizzie’s little hand finding its way into his own, he would have most assuredly given up by now.

Whether through some unspoken understanding, he can’t say he’s been any kind of a decent parent to them lately, or if they’ve simply worked out a schedule amongst themselves, they each spend some time with their mother.  

However, at least once a week they gather together and have ‘family’ night, where they all convene in their mother’s room and behave as if nothing has changed.  As if it’s any old night and they’ve simply crowded into their parents bedroom to enjoy some quality time with them, a habit that hadn’t changed over the years, no matter how old or ‘cool’ the kids thought they were.

Tonight is no different.  Naya ushers him out the room, makes him swear to get something on his stomach, and he returns to find them circled around his wife. Naya is sort of curled up at the top of the bed with her mother’s head cradled in her lap; Lizzie has made a spot for herself next to her mother’s hip and has just begun painting the older woman’s nails; Grant, who has grown into a leaner, darker version of his father, is perched on the edge of Bucky’s chair, his long fingers curled around his mother’s wrist where it lay atop her favorite, multicolored dragonfly quilt.

And they’re talking, simply talking, laughing quietly now at something Grant has said, and it all feels so normal, so… familiar, that he nearly drops the cup of coffee in his hand as he starts to back out of the room.  

There’s a hard something in his chest.  He can’t breathe around it.  It sticks and pokes at him, and blurs the edges of his vision.  Has him rushing down the corridor on trembling legs, past the nurses station and the curious gazes of the night shift staff, through two sets of sliding glass doors and out onto the wide balcony which juts out from the side of the building and is reserved for visitors.  The coffee cup drops, the liquid inside splashing his pant leg.

There’s panic and dread filling up inside him, terrible and dark, and there’s no her to clear it away.  

He’s not going to make it; he’ll die if she doesn’t pull through this because there is no way he’ll be able to exist, be able to live, without her light.  Which is almost laughable, and he does laugh, weak and watery, the sound drifting off into the night.  He’s got a metal arm and he’s 100 years old and he’s been through some horrible shit, been the cause of just as much horrible shit, but he’s sure he’ll die if…


Oh, but love is stronger than it

Love is stronger than it

Bucky coughs, blinks away the tears clouding his vision before turning to find Sam standing just this side of the balcony doors.  His face is soft in the low light, his dark eyes gleaming and watchful.

“Are you…?” he starts, then shakes his head, knowing the question is stupid.  Pointless.  Shoves his hands into his pockets.  “You rushed right by me,” he chooses instead.  

The dark thing in Bucky’s chest loosens a bit.  “Sorry.  The kid’s are with her.  Wanted to give ‘em some time.”

They both know it’s a lie; Bucky wouldn’t leave her side unless forced to do so, but Sam doesn’t call him on it.  

Sam moves forward, slow strides bringing him up beside his friend, who wasn’t always his friend, a  mere few inches separating the space between them.

They’re silent, watching the sky, the handful of stars visible just beyond the city lights, dim against the inky black.  Bucky pulls in a slow, shaking breath.

“She’s…” Sam starts.  Then, stops again and Bucky can almost feel him choosing his next words.  He tenses, waiting, because so many people have tried to talk to him, to offer suggestions on how he should deal with this, all meaning well but never understanding.

He doesn’t give Sam the chance to speak, the words coming out before he’s even decided to do so.

“She said she’d always be with me.”  

Yeah, love is 

much stronger than it

He blinks against a memory, the hazy vision of her darkened bedroom the night he’d proposed to her. He remembers being downright terrified of the future but unwilling to conceive of one without her.  “She said, if she could help it, she’d always be -”

His voice breaks, so he stops.  Reaches out and curls his hands, both flesh and blood and glinting metal, around the low railing.   From the corner of his eye he can see Sam nodding.

“She meant that.  She’s strong and she’s stubborn…”

Sam is being … generous, and Bucky laughs softly.  

“I’ll get the kids home.”

“God,” Bucky huffs, leaning back and raking a hand through his hair.  “I’m fuckin’ this all up.  My kids… She left for three days once, went to visit her Ma, and I nearly burned the damn house down.”  He takes another deep breath.  “Now …”

So if you’re ever like me

Daydreaming how different this life would be

Sam’s hand on his shoulder keeps the rising panic at bay.  The other man doesn’t speak for a long moment, but the pressure of his hand there is reassurance enough amid the silence.

“I’ll get the kids home.”

He follows Sam back they way they came.  The kids are saying their goodnights, never goodbye, and he hugs each one in turn, holding on much tighter, much longer, than usual.   He thinks he can feel her there, in his children's’ embrace.  Her warmth.  Her light.  Her love.

Lizzie holds on to him the longest.  Gazes up at him with the most peaceful look on her lovely, tawny face.

“You ok, Bug,” he asks, using the nickname he’d given her what seems like so long ago.  She’s 18, a college student,  but he’s still her baby girl.  

“You done good, Pop,” Lizzie replies, her voice a low rasp of sound.  “You’ve always been so good at keepin’ her safe.”

He thinks his heart stops before it jumpstarts again, and he wonders how she knows how he’s been beating himself up for not being there when she needed him the most.  Wonders if she knows just how much their mother has protected him over the years.

He tries to speak.  Fails.  Finally manages to croak out, “I love her, Bug.  So much.”

Lizzie smiles. She pats him solidly on the back, her strength surprising him, before slipping out of his hold and following her siblings out the door, leaving him alone with his silent, sleeping wife.  

A long moment passes, during which time Bucky attempts to breathe.  Tries to get his feet back under him.  The echo of his children’s voices, Lizzie’s words, moving through him, lingering around him, as if the room itself is reluctant to let it all go.  

Finally, he reclaims his chair.  Adjusts it just so and gazes down at his wife.  Lizzie has painted her nails a bright, neon blue and it looks good against the backdrop of her dark skin.

If the ones you loved most

Hadn’t taken their leave

He takes her hand.  Links his metal fingers through hers.  Stares a long time at her wedding ring.  Turns it this way and that to watch the light sparkle in it.

He decides he won’t give up.  He’ll wait.  And listen.  Be strong the way she’d taught him.  The way she’d always been for him.  He owes it to her.  Owes it to those beautiful babies she’s given him.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep.  He hasn’t slept, not really slept, in so long that when he wakes, hunched over the edge of the bed and his back in knots,  he’s more than a little disoriented.   His brain is fuzzy.   His mouth tastes awful.

He’s aware of having dreamed, but not certain of what he’d dreamt.   She was there, of course, but she’d been a thought, an impression - her warm, comforting scent and the solid pounding of her heartbeat in his ear. Her voice somewhere in the back of his mind. Laughing, maybe.  Teasing him, of course.  And he feels different.  Sore, yes, but somehow… lighter.  More certain of himself.  More solid.  Not completely whole, but… something…   

He sits up, his back protesting with every movement, and his eyes immediately going to her face.  Serene, still.  Unchanged.  Breathing evenly.  Peaceful in the glow of early morning light.

Bucky goes home, but not before politely threatening the staff and making sure they have all his numbers on file.

“She so much as twitches her big toe, you call me immediately.”

It’s Saturday and the kids are all home.  They’re happy to see him, though a bit wary,  but they welcome him.  

There’s pizza and laughter and junk food and fantastic stories about the woman of the house.  

When the call comes, they all rush out and pile into his truck.  Drive back to the hospital  in silence.  

He’d heard the words, but they hadn’t made sense.  And even when they file into the little hospital room, it still doesn’t make sense.  

But, she’s there, sitting up in bed, her quilt draped around her shoulders to ward off the cold.   And when she lifts those big, brown eyes in his direction, the world around him seems to splinter and break, a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding rushing out of him in a harsh burst.   

He can feel the wall at his back.  Can feel his heart pounding in his chest, hard and fast, and he can’t believe it.

The kids, however, are more believing.  They rush to her bedside, crying and laughing in turn and, even in her weakened state, she pulls them to her.  Plants kisses on their faces and accepts the ones they offer before slipping back into the pile of pillows used to prop her up.  She’s smiling.  Beautiful.  Struggling to keep her eyes open though she’s been asleep for weeks.  

“Pop! Pop, can you believe it?  She’s awake!”

Grant is elated.  Positively floating now that his mother is awake and most definitely alive.  His smile is so bright and blinding.  He sprints over, grabs his father’s hand and tugs him forcefully to his mother’s bedside.

And wishing your babies

Could know your Daddy and me

Bucky doesn’t know what to do.  And it’s a strange place to be.  After all the watching and waiting, after all the hope had run out and he’d settled into the silence, she’s awake and staring at him, a thin smile on her full lips.  

He doesn’t know what to say.  What to do.  Even the kids are quiet now; even the nurses who’ve come in the check on their patient.

Her head shifts on the pillow and the smile gets a little bigger, despite her eyes started to droop a little.

“I was dreamin’ about you,” she says, her voice low and hoarse from lack of use, and it breaks him.  

Bucky sags against the side of the bed, relief washing over him like the sunshine spilling through the windows, and he curls himself over her.  Buries his face in the warm skin of her neck and breathes her in.  

Her fingers find their way into his hair.  Scrape over the base of his scalp the way she knows he likes.  Says softly, quietly, for his ears alone…

“I promised you, didn’t I?”

Know that I’m still your lighthouse

Yeah, I’m still your lighthouse

Yeah, I’ll be your lighthouse

You’ll be one for me

Tagging:  @flowers-and-honey @afro-elf @stellanoble @jazzytee @buckyscurvylover @the-violent-peach @ishipwhateverthefuckiwantto @bethofaus @ursulaismymiddlename @amour-quinn @harrisbn @nys30 @buckyappreciationsociety  

Sorry if I’ve forgotten anyone.  Let me know if you’d like to be removed!

in muted light

@summonerskies prompted azalea, fragile and ephemeral passion, for Perc’ahlia, pre-68

Syngorn was a tangled mess of memories and pain. A dull, throbbing ache that wouldn’t let loose its stranglehold no matter how much Vex tried to tell herself she’d moved past it, she’d grown stronger. It was a part of her, even if she wanted to dig it out with her dirty, chipped nails and scarred hands. Hands that didn’t belong to a proper elven lady, whatever the fuck that meant.

No, the second she walked through those gates and saw the familiar elegant streets and fine armor of the Syngorn Guard, she was fourteen and angry. Angry, and embarrassed, and desperately trying not to want their attention or approval. She was a frightened girl, not the slayer of dragons, not the woman who’d been to hell and back, almost literally.

But for all its shadowy drag on the memories she’d locked tight behind a veil of winks and sarcasm, building her own armor out of shoddy confidence and charm, it was a damn beautiful city.

Keep reading

Would Never Call It Love | 4

Highly requested, this is way long overdue. But I’m back and healthy and happy. Can’t wait to write more for you guys. Enjoy. 1 2 3 . Masterlist in my bio.

Chapter based on this quote: “How am I suppose to go back when I know you have already replaced me…”

Calum’s POV

I fucked up.

I left her.

I told her I didn’t love her, and steered her into the wrong guys arms. 

It hurt my chest and made my lungs collapse picturing them in my head, in the same bed, Ashton hovering above her. The look on her face got me the most. Not even the fact that Ashton was close to cumming inside of her. Her eyes shot out of her head with visible veins showing through. Her shoulders tensed underneath Ashton’s arms, her collarbones becoming more prominent in fear. Her face began to show both colors of blue and red, from being embarrassed and from holding her breathe too long. It broke me, seeing her broken.

And now I stand, at 3 am outside the hotel building, with a lit cigarette in hand, and the cold wind creating dry patches and red marks on my face. The smoke blew seamlessly into the night time air, creating swirls for me to watch and keep my mind off of the situation. I took one too many puffs, one after the other, the swelling feeling in my throat becoming too much to take in, causing me to starting coughing loudly. The smoke scratched at my lungs each time I coughed, tears now forming in my eyes painfully. As my hand came up to my chest as a gesture, someone’s voice in front of me interrupted. 

“You need some help?” It was calm. Raspy. Quiet. I immediately dropped my cigarette and stomped it out with my toes, then wiped my now red eyes. She was wearing a flannel that had the first two buttons undone, some baggy sweatpants, and her hair pulled into a truly messy bun. Not the cute ones most girls wore to give them the ‘natural’ look, but more of a bun where you couldn’t tell where strands ended or started, they all just stuck out everywhere ready to collapse. Her arms were crossed, and I looked straight into her eyes. They were droopy, with light bags forming underneath them. She had been crying, a lot I assumed from how red her cheeks were. But then again, maybe it was just the cold.

I gathered my strength and leaned back against the building, putting my hands deep into my pockets. “Not from you no.”

“Calum, don’t shut me out again. Please…let me talk…” She whispered with a cracking voice. She stepped forward coming closer to me, and my body’s first reaction was to back up even further against the wall, but no amount of energy I had could do that. I had to stand there defensively and stomach enough courage to hear her out.

“You fucked Ashton. You fucked my best friend. You fucked my roommate, my band mate. My brother.” I tried to stare anywhere else but directly in front me. Or else I’d get lost in those big orbs of light brown that captured my attention flawlessly. “You left me that day in my apartment, in nothing but my underwear, telling me that you didn’t love me. All you keep doing, is hurting me. You’re trying so hard to fight and fix us but Y/N…there was nothing else to fix. There was nothing there for us to mend and put back together. Like you said, all we are is fuck buddies.” I tried to push past her, but the sound of her pleading voice made me stop before I reached the hotel door.

“I’ll let you go.”

I turned around stunned, but it didn’t show on my face. I only ran a hand threw what little hair I had, in frustration. Hearing those words was even more painful than seeing her in pleasure that was caused by my best friend. Because this meant that Y/N and I were completely over. That there was no hope left for us. That we were utterly, and painfully, ruined.

“I didn’t come down here to win you back, or say I love you and kiss you and make everything better. That’s not realistic Calum.” I could tell it was breaking her to say these words to me. She wiped a few tears before speaking again. “I realized about an hour ago that we’re both messed up people with none of our shit figured out. If we did, then we’d be together right now. Not friends with benefits, not just someone we call to fuck and then leave. We’d be peacefully falling asleep together at night, and waking up to our morning breathes at 8 am.” I slightly scuffed at her comment. “I mean, shit it took me one month of pure heart break and loneliness without you to realize that I loved you, and you were perfectly happy and moved on. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you Calum. All you ever did was make me happy. Sure, it stings. It hurts. It really really fucking makes me sick. But when you love someone, you realize that their own needs come before your own.” She walked towards me slowly, reaching her hand down to intertwined with mine. I didn’t stop it, but only looked down at the ground, squeezing as hard as I could. This would be the last time I’d get to ever hold this hand, a hand I held for reassurance and guidance, for closeness and protection. 

She softly smiled, but it was a sad one. She knew she was leaving me for good.

“I knew I was going to need to leave you sooner or later. I just always hoped that that wouldn’t be an option anymore. There’s was always a glimmer of hope in me that said we’d make it. That no matter what, we’d get through whatever we were going through. But I was wrong.” Her lip started quivering, built up hot tears dragging down her swollen cheeks. I clenched my fist to stop me from wiping them off of her face.

“This is what’s best Calum. No more sneaking around, no more running off to be with each other, no more intimacy. We both have someone waiting for us in this hotel, someone who could potentially be very good for us. I don’t want you wasting your time on me, when she deserves so much better from you.” She reached up to kiss my cheek softly. I bit my lip and looked the other direction as she pulled away. This was it. No going back, no do over’s. 

“I love you Calum.” She whispered, and disconnected herself from me, pulling open the hotel doors and sliding in to get to the elevators. I didn’t watch her. Knowing me, I would’ve ran and grabbed her to stop her.


5 minutes later I walked into Ashton’s hotel room again, baby snores escaping his lips. I stood propped up on the bedroom door frame, watching admiringly. He heard the floor creak and lifted his head up slowly, his eyes struggling to open.

“Go back to bed big guy, I’m joining you.”

Calum’s POV

I walked into my hotel room with her quietly sitting on the bed flipping through TV channels. She gave me a small smile before turning her attention back on the screen. Clearly we’d be having a talk about this in a few hours, but right now all we cared about getting the most amount of sleep possible before being woken up to hit up the next venue.

I shrugged off my shirt before climbing into bed with her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. If I wrapped around her waist, it’d be too much of a familiar feeling.


Neither Y/N nor Calum felt completely comfortable and safe with the other person they were in bed with. Sadly, they were settling. That is…for now at least.

This was kind of a shit chapter for being back after weeks so I’m very sorry. Message or inbox me ideas you’d like to see if you guys would like a part 5! 

little things (niklaus mikaelson one-shot)

Prompt: Klaus and Elijah are at a town council meeting. Hayley stops by and gives you a piece of her mind. She insults you, belittles you, and makes you feel worthless as she hopes to get back at Klaus.

Requested: A4 (oral sex) and B2 (body worship) with Klaus Mikaelson. (HERE)

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x Reader

Warnings: fluffy smut, name calling, swearing, oral sex (male to female), body shaming, nsfw image

“It’s been four hours, where the hell are they?” You pace back and forth in the living room, muttering to yourself.

Klaus and Elijah were at a town council meeting that started FOUR HOURS AGO and they still weren’t back yet. Rebekah took a trip to Mystic Falls to see Matt, Cami was probably pacing around her apartment waiting for Elijah, and Marcel was at the meeting as well.

You suddenly hear a knock and run to the door, somewhat relieved. You open the door and for a moment, your heart stops beating: it’s Hayley, Klaus’s vindictive ex and the mother of his only child.

“Hayley,” you give her a tight-lipped smile and step aside. “Come on in, I was just waiting for Klaus to get home.”

“Of course you were,” Hayley steps inside, smirking. ‘You’re his little pet, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?” You close the door and turn to face her,

“You are his little pet. He owns you and I hope you know he’ll get tired of you soon,” she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

“H-he doesn’t own me, we’re in a relationship,” you point out, very aware that you & Klaus have set some very clear boundaries in your relationship.

“I mean, come on. Have you looked at yourself? You’ve grown twice in size after moving here, and the weight hasn’t gone to the right places,” she chuckles viciously as you stiffen. You had always been insecure about your body and Hayley knew that. “You have rolls everywhere. Your neck is the size of my waist. You’re a fat fuck, Y/N. How much longer will Klaus want to be with you? You know you can’t give him any children, and that’ll break his heart. Klaus loves having a family. He’ll use you for sex what? Three more times before he either kills you or compels you to forget?”

Hayley smiles widely as you shrink down, unable to meet her gaze. You flinch after her every word, knowing that they could be true.

“And Y/N, let’s face it. How do you know he’s not cheating on you right now?” Her words left you cold. You knew he wouldn’t cheat on you, you know Klaus. “Klaus is a cheating bastard, just as you are a fat bastard. Maybe you two are good for each other.”

“Get out,” you snarl weakly. “GET OUT NOW, HAYLEY.”

“Hey,” she smirks and holds her hands up in surrender, slowly walking towards the door. “I’m glad I can help.” She whispers and quickly leaves the premises as you close the door and slide down the wall, hating every bit of yourself.

You hold your head in your hands and you cry. You cry for what seems like hours before you finally fall asleep.


Klaus quickly walks in, knowing that you’re probably worried sick. He closes the door and nearly trips on your crumpled down figure.

“Oh, precious Y/N,” he whispers and kisses your head, slowly picking you up in his arms.

“K-Klaus?” You rub your eyes and open them to see your boyfriend. “I-I was so worried,” you whisper and your voice shakes. Klaus speeds you both to your bedroom and looks at you questioningly. He places you on the bed and quickly lays next to you.

“The wolves crashed the meeting, that’s why we took so long,” he whispers and pulls you against his chest. “Now tell me. What happened here, love?”

“N-nothing, Klaus,” you whisper and tighten your arms around his waist.

“P-please don’t insult me like that, Y/N. You’re upset, incredibly upset, and I want to know why. Please,” Klaus places his hand against your cheek and rubbed it gently.

“H-Hayley stopped by,” you whispered as the tears begin building up once again. “Why does she hate me? What have I done to her, Niklaus? Why must she push me down every time?” You let your tears fall as you sit up, Klaus quickly doing the same. “I know I’m fat and I know I probably can’t bear children, but I don’t need her to remind me of that everytime she sees me. I don’t deserve you, Niklaus. You’re a Greek god and I’m the pedestal that you stand on.” By this time, you’re sobbing and Klaus looks livid. “I-I’m sorry, I should probably go,” you whisper and try to stand.

“You aren’t going anywhere, Y/N,” Klaus whispers and hops off the bed. He picks you up bridal style and walks you over to the full size mirror you two have. “I love you, Y/N,” Klaus kisses the side of your neck as you both face the mirror. He slowly unzips your sweater and looks at you through the mirror. “I love every bit of you, angel,” he whispers and tosses your jacket aside, leaving you in your sweatpants and bra alone. You look away from the mirror, not wanting to see your body and Klaus lifts your head back up. “Look at me as I undress you, love. Watch me love you.” Klaus kisses your shoulder and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

This was the man you loved, the one who loved you no matter how you felt about yourself. He loved every little thing about you and you were about to see just how much.

“I love your wide shoulders,” Klaus lays gentle kisses on each of them. “You’ve got the weight of New Orleans on these babies,” he chuckles and looks at you through the mirror. “I love the beautiful moles on your chest, the amount of love and delicious handmade food that you can hold in your stomach, the beautiful hips that I can always hold onto in the middle of the night when I feel scared of losing you,” Klaus’s hands moved to every part of your body as he spoke of them. “I love your strong thighs that can be my pillow and my ear muffs,” he smirks and you turn red, smiling at him through the mirror. His hands slowly pushed your sweats past your hips and engulf your thighs, rubbing them with his calloused palms. “And here’s one of my favorite things,” his husky voice sends shivers down your spine, but your eyes don’t leave his. His hand cups your clothed opening and the breath hitches in your throat. ‘This gorgeous flower is one of my many favorite things about you.”

You arch your back against his chest, closing your eyes due to the immense amount of pleasure his words alone caused.

“Let me help you, please,” his scruff rubbed against the side of your face and you nodded.

“Please, baby. I need you,” you whisper and he moans lightly.

He quickly turns you back to face him and lays a loving kiss against your lips. His lips move passionately against your, one hand cupping the back of your neck as the other is wrapped around the small of your back, holding you up. He walks you both over to the bed and gently sits you down. His lips have now moved to the side of your neck, teasing you as his hands unclasp and remove your bra.

Klaus groans as his eyes travel down your front. He kisses the base of your throat and playfully pushes you down on the bed, his lips travelling down to the valley of your breasts.

“So so beautiful,” he whispers and hovers over you, his mouth working at your breasts as your hands tug on his hair. You moan and he smiles against your skin, kissing and sucking on every available area on your abdomen. His mouth moves lower and you clench your stomach as he lays loving kisses against it, humming in happiness as he does so. You smile at him, at how familiar this feels. Klaus’s mouth feels like home and you wouldn’t have it any other way. This man was in love with you. And hell were you in love with him.

“K-Klaus?” He looks up at you, slightly alarmed. “C-could you kiss me down there?” It had been a while since you two had been alone, you were scared.

“Yes, yes please princess,” he whispers and kisses your stomach. “I’d love nothing more,” he smiles and his teeth find the waistband of your black panties. He watches you and waits for some approval. You nod and he immediately rips off your panties with his teeth.

You blush and close your legs, closing your eyes as the cold air hits your gentle (and now soaked) opening.

“No, love,” he whispers and kisses the inside of your knee. “Let me take care of you, love you,” he whispers and eases open your legs, kissing his way down your thighs. You let out a breathless moan and Klaus smiles, sucking gently on the inside of your thighs.

“N-No,” you whisper and look down at him, causing him to smirk. “Kiss me there,” you point down at your opening. Klaus’s smirk widens as he lays a gentle kiss against it.

“Like that?” Klaus whispers, his lips barely brushing your vagina.

“N-no,” you whisper, squirming under him. “Please don’t tease,” you whimper and his eyes darken. One of his hands reaches up and grabs yours, intertwining your fingers as his free hand wraps around your thigh, holding your legs open.

“As you wish, love,” Klaus  smirks and digs in, his mouth immediately finding your clit. He takes your clit between his teeth and tugs gently, his fingers digging into your thigh as your moans become louder and more frequent.

“N-Niklaus,” you moan his name and you feel his smirk grow against your lower lips. His teeth release your clit as his skilled and length tongue darts inside your opening. You let out a scream and attempt to close your legs. He removes his hand from yours and uses it to hold onto your other thigh and keep your legs open as his mouth ravaged you. He licks a long stripe against your slit before his tongue attacks your opening once again. You scream his name and his hand reaches over your thigh to rub your clit while his tongue works wonders inside you.

“Cum for me,” he whispers against you, breathing heavily. After the words leave his mouth, his lips attack your swollen folds and his teeth nip your clit.

You let out a string of curses as your hips convulse and you cum into his mouth. Klaus moans and his skillful tongue laps up all your juices, laying a hot kiss against your opening before lifting his head and looking you in the eye.

“You taste divine, love,” he whispers throatily and you smirk softly at him.

“I’m sure you do, too.” You sit up and he does the same, his lips meeting yours with an intense desire.

And indeed, he did.


Months later and I was still thinking about him. I felt anger, disappointment, void, sorrow and, most importantly, pain. How could he betray us like this? Betray me? I was so foolish to believe that he actually had good intentions. That he loved me.

I should have listened to Stiles. Theo wouldn’t have been able to come this close if we all just listened to Stiles. Scott wouldn’t have been in such danger and I wouldn’t be as heartbroken as I am right now. I tried to remind myself that he killed Scott. The bond me and Scott had could not be described in words. We were inseparable. Like siblings.

And the worst thing is that I could have prevented it. I could have talked to Theo but instead I was at the hospital that day helping Melissa. Once we heard that Hayden didn’t make it and that Liam almost killed his own Alpha, I run as fast as I could to the library to get Scott out of there. I’m glad I didn’t cross paths with Liam, otherwise I would have killed him on the spot. I understand that he was hurt and angry but how can he hurt Scott, who treated him like his son this whole time.

Once I arrived I did not expect, my now ex boyfriend, to be there as well. He had locked the door so I couldn’t interfere and stop him. I had to watch him kill my best friend. I screamed, I cried for help, I tried to break the door down. Nothing helped. He ignored me like I was nothing. Like he couldn’t hear my screams and pleas to let Scott go.

That’s when I realized how little I meant to him. All the kisses we shared, all the late night talks we had, all the amazing and unforgettable memories we created. It was all a lie.

Originally posted by teenwolf


I was at the library during a free period doing my homework when my phone rang. I chose to ignore it and concentrate on my paper for latin instead. It’s not like it’s important anyway. It was probably just Mom texting me about the groceries. 

A few minutes later and my phone ringed again but this time it didn’t stop ringing. 

People around me gave me dirty looks as they tried to study. I smiled quietly. “Sorry.“ 

I took my phone out of my bag and saw Liam calling me. I quickly accepted and pressed my phone against my ear. “What?” I hissed quietly. This better be good.

“Why weren’t you answering?” Liam said, sounding a bit in a rush. “Never mind, just come to Scott’s as fast as possible." 

"What do you mean? Where are you? You’re supposed to be in class, Liam.” I said, sounding like a big sister. Scott wasn’t here either which made me even more concerned.

“That doesn’t matter now! We’ll meet at Scott’s.” He hung up.

I quickly stood up packing my stuff and left. 


I knocked on the door already anxious. What if he was hurt? Does Scott know? Where was he anyway?

Hayden opened the door looking just as worried as me. “What happened?” I asked in hurry. 

She shook her head. “Liam’s fine if that’s what you’re worried about.” I let out a breath that I hold in this whole time. Thank God. 

I walked inside and put my bag on the kitchen counter. 

“What is it then that I had to leave school and miss my classes? You all know we missed way too many classes these past months and-“ That’s when I got interrupted. 

"Hey, babygirl.” I turned around and immediately couldn’t believe who was standing in front of me. Theo.

Originally posted by blogfandomimaginesstuff

“H-How did you-?" 

"Liam brought me back.” He smiled at me with a light twinkle in his eyes that made me go weak. 

He started walking closer to me ready to embrace me but I stepped back with my hand in front of me. As a sort of protection. 

Theo stopped in his tracks and furrowed his eyebrows. “I would never hurt you, Y/N. You know that, right?”

“Why did you bring him back?” I completely ignored him along with the pain inside my chest as I turned to Liam who stood behind Theo.

“We needed someone with the ability to absorb electricity. He was the only one who we came up with.” Liam sound frustrated. 

“Does Scott know?” I was furious by now. I scoffed and turned away from both of them. I couldn’t look at him. He looked just like my Theo. The one I loved with all my heart. But I knew better. He and his manipulative ass can crawl back into the hole that he came out of.

“No, he doesn’t know but that’s beside the point. We only brought you here because Theo wanted to talk to you.” Liam said.

“Maybe we should leave them alone before Scott comes back.” Hayden said softly behind me. “So that he can kill me too?” I asked furiously. 

“You know I would never hurt you!” Theo said, just as mad as me. I looked him deep in the eye before saying. 

“Oh really? Just like you promised that we could trust you.” tears started to form in my eyes and my voice cracked a bit.

“That was different! Everything I’ve ever said to you was nothing but the truth!” He came closer till we were face to face. Both our breathing irregular.

“How could you?” I cried out and started hitting his chest. He didn’t bother to fight back. And even though I knew it didn’t hurt him I still wanted to make him feel the same pain as I did when he left me.

“Y/N, stop.”

“Did you even mean it when you said you cared for me? Why would you kill the one person that meant the world to me? To see me suffer?” I kept hitting him. But I did not dare to look in his eyes because, I knew the minute I would look at his face I would give in.

“I never knew that he meant this much to you, Y/N! All I ever wanted was a pack!” His tone was harsh. He grabbed my wrists to prevent me hitting him. “I love you.” He said softly.

He’s lying. I closed my eyes and tried to stop myself from crying. “Look at me, Y/N.” one hand let go of my wrist as he slowly brought it up to my face to wipe my tears away. “Why would I lie to you, babygirl?”

“Open your eyes.” He said and cupped my chin. I did as I was told and looked him deep in the eyes. God, how much I missed them. They were the same green shade, just how I remembered. 

He looked at me and smiled at me with such adoration that I couldn’t bring myself to hate him.  "The whole time that I was down there I tried to think of you. I had to go through much worse than you could possibly imagine. You were my anchor that kept me sane this whole time.“

“I don’t need the pack’s forgiveness. All I need is for you to forgive me. That’s all that matters to me.” He sounded almost pleading as he caressed my cheek.

I let out a deep breath and said. “I will always love you, Theo. But you can’t expect me to forgive you.” He shook his head not believing what I was saying. “No, no, no. Don’t say that.” His face twisted up in pain.

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

I took a step back already missing his warm touch on my face. “If Scott or Liam decide to bring you back… I won’t try to stop them.” Was the last thing I said to him before turning around and walking out the house.

First imagine! I plan on making a second part to this but it depends on how well this does. Hope you liked it! 

Also, I do not own any of these amazing gif’s! Credit goes to the owner who posted them!!!!