no longer struggling with this

2

Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you… I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

8

Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you… I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

Ive waited a long time to say this: I am happy to announce today is my 6 Month HRT anniversary!

I wanted to also share some of my thoughts:

I worry a lot.

I take a look at my professional career and wonder if things will work out, and over a decade of work later I still feel I’ve made no progress and continue to struggle to find any proper “place”.

Even day to day issues can easily be just as overwhelming as larger problems and often get me stopped in my tracks for longer than they should.

And the constant struggle I’ve had to deal with concerning my gender identity has been something that caused me no end of discomfort and heartbreak.

After coming out as trans, I saw so many people who once supported me on the sidelines suddenly abandon and ridicule me. I got, and still get, daily messages of hate. Some more mild, refusing to use proper pronouns because I’m “not a real woman”. Some filled with rage saying I should “kill myself” and refusing to see me as anything other than a freak who should be “dealt with”.

Life is a struggle for everyone, sometimes it gets easier, and sometimes it seems impossible to fix. Often times my experiences have left me with life and my goals feeling more towards “impossible”, with the constant whispers to give up and stop trying ringing in my ears. And these experiences arn’t limited to my struggles towards coming out.

However, those feelings did become more prevalent ever since I came out publicly. My work, less important. My opinions, less valid. My existence, null and void. The world, and my options in life, became smaller and things and opportunities that were “available” to me became completely inaccessible.

So far, 2017 has been one of the most difficult times in my life, which is saying something. But one major good thing happened.

On March 4th, 2017, I took my first steps towards transitioning. Now I’m officially 6 months in on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), and I’m slowly feeling less at odds with myself.

So with this major step forward, I’m going to keep trying, I’ll keep working hard, and I’ll continue to do my best to find my place. Be it professional, in day to day life, with new ventures, or as I continue my journey towards transitioning, I hope I’ll have support from all of you.

Because honestly, without the support of my loving partner, friends, coworkers, fans, and this community that is being slowly built around me, things easily seem impossible.

ASK THE BLOGGER
  • 1. What are your hobbies?
  • 2. If you could have dinner with any 3 living or dead people, who would they be and why?
  • 3. What makes you laugh?
  • 4. What was the last good thing that happened to you?
  • 5. What is your biggest goal?
  • 6. What do you think is the meaning of life?
  • 7. Do you believe in an afterlife?
  • 8. Do you have any pet peeves?
  • 9. What do you like to do on the weekends?
  • 10. What was your favorite TV show growing up?
  • 11. What is your favorite TV show now?
  • 12. What are your favorite movies?
  • 13. Tell me one surprising fact about you.
  • 14. What do you look for in a significant other?
  • 15. What were you like as a child?
  • 16. What are some things on your bucket list?
  • 17. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?
  • 18. Do you have any pets or have you ever owned any?
  • 19. Talk about a challenge you had recently and how you overcame it or how you plan to.
  • 20. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose and why?
  • 21. Talk about a favorite childhood memory.
  • 22. What is your favorite commercial?
  • 23. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?
  • 24. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?
  • 25. Who is your celebrity crush?
  • 26. Who is your favorite musical artist?
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  • 28. What is your favorite color?
  • 29. What would you do if you won a million dollars?
  • 30. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
  • 31. What is your dream vacation?
  • 32. What actor or actress would star as you in a movie about your life?
  • 33. Where did you grow up?
  • 34. If you could trade lives with anyone else for one day, who would you trade with?
  • 35. What is your favorite book?
  • 36. Who is your favorite author?
  • 37. Who do you look up to?
  • 38. What is your favorite food ever?
  • 39. Are you a picky eater?
  • 40. Drunken story time! Go!
  • 41. What beverage do you consume most often?
  • 42. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?
  • 43. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
  • 44. How are you feeling right now?
  • 45. Do you plan out your outfits?
  • 46. What is the closest red item to you?
  • 47. Talk about the last dream you remember having.
  • 48. Do you love yourself?
  • 49. When was the last time you cried and why?
  • 50. Have you ever met a celebrity?
  • 51. Have you ever been to a concert?
  • 52. What are you listening to right now?
  • 53. Have you ever flown in an airplane?
  • 54. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
  • 55. Are your parents or guardians strict?
  • 56. Did you have a good childhood?
  • 57. Have you ever been in love?
  • 58. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
  • 59. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life ever apologize?
  • 60. What are some of your turn-ons?
  • 61. What are some of your turn-offs?
  • 62. Would you go skydiving?
  • 63. What are you thinking about right now?
  • 64. Do you ever rent movies?
  • 65. Do you ever illegally download entertainment such as music, movies, etc.?
  • 66. What is your zodiac sign?
  • 67. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?
  • 68. Is there anything you want to say to anyone right now?
  • 69. Would you rather live a shorter life but be wealthy or live a longer life and struggle financially?
  • 70. What is your stance on abortion?
  • 71. Do you believe in ghosts?
  • 72. Who do you admire and why?
  • 73. What was your worst experience while under the influence of drugs or alcohol?
  • 74. Have you ever had a near-death experience?
  • 75. What do you daydream about?
  • 76. Where do you want to live after retirement?
  • 77. What would you change your first name to?
  • 78. If you believe in a God or Higher Power, what one question would you want to ask Him or Her?
  • 79. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic?
  • 80. Are you more introverted or extroverted?
  • 81. What is your dream profession?
  • 82. What do you worry about most?
  • 83. When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?
  • 84. Who do you compare yourself to?
  • 85. What excites you about life?
  • 86. What five words would you use to describe your personality?
  • 87. What is one life lesson you learned the hard way?
  • 88. What belief do you have that many people disagree with?
  • 89. If not now, then when?
  • 90. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?
  • 91. What activities make you lose track of time?
  • 92. If you had to teach an academic subject, what subject would you want to teach?
  • 93. What is your biggest regret?
  • 94. What will matter most to you when you're 80 years old?
  • 95. Are you a messy person or a clean person?
  • 96. Are you a perfectionist?
  • 97. How tall are you?
  • 98. What is your guilty pleasure?
  • 99. Do you prefer sweet or salty?
  • 100. What is your favorite social media website?
Homestuck Meta Theory

Alright, so I know there’s a lot of people disappointed with the ending, again, I sound like a broken record by this point. And don’t get me wrong- While I love the ending, I would still love to see more of the characters and the story! I just feel it’s a good end as it is. I’ve made a lot of theories about what the End means and everything about Act 7, but all of the things I said, about the Jujus, about becoming freed from Paradox Space, it made me think about the rest of the story, and I believe it has made my entire idea of what Homestuck is change.

So the big question here is, what IS Homestuck? Most people, including me, when talking to someone who knows nothing about it, will speak about the story, the 4 Kids playing SBURB, and the subsequent destruction of Earth. And then mention its huge amount of references towards programming languages, popular culture, storytelling in itself, and it’s self-referential nature. But this Ending has got me thinking that maybe the reason why so many people have been disappointed in the End is because they got Hussie’s intentions wrong.

We tend to reference how the humor and the nature of Homestuck’s narrative is a little extra onto the story, and while it is true the story itself and the characters have drawn a big part of the Fandom, I thought… What if the important part of the Narrative isn’t the Story, but the Meta elements.

As soon as I made connection, everything about the ending began to fall into place. I have commented before that I feel Act 7 is like being shown the Good Ending of a video game without seeing its Neutral Route. 

The Kids have Earth, and Juju Vriska uses manages to flip the ending so that instead of being trapped by Paradox Space’s rules…

They manage to ‘End’ the game properly and get their Happy Ever After.

All while Caliborn is shown getting his power of Immortality, and while we’re left ambiguous about what happens to Vriska and Lord English and everyone in the Dream Bubbles…

Another thing people have complained about is the Character Arcs.

They say how ‘different’ the timeline is. What was the point of Rose’s alcoholism if then Vriska just swats the drink away and it never had any relevance anymore? Terezi’s relationship with Gamzee never happened. Dave and Karkat got together? The Game Over Timeline is bad, everyone agrees that people dying is never good, but they also claim that suddenly having all that Character Development changed made them unable to relate to some characters anymore.

And of course there’s always the mention of how Vriska, even though she’s an abusive 8itch, ended up being somewhat of a heroine, or at the very least not seemingly getting too punished…

That’s where the Narrative itself told us there was something off.

DAVE: rose we dont have fuckin “arcs” we are just human beings

Many have mentioned it, about how not having a closure to certain character arcs referenced this portion, the notion that the characters didn’t have an arc. The same way she then references Jade breaking Endgame ships and such. Rose’s power is Light, and her information source comes from the same place as SBURB and Skaia. It’s a game. Of course she’d have the notion that all of them have to fit certain predisposed stereotypes or their stories have to follow a certain pattern- Rose is looking at their lives since SBURB started as it has been. A Story.

But Dave is having none of it. Dave is beyond the thought that all they do has to follow a set pattern, and claims they don’t have character arcs. This might sound like a clever device by Hussie so he didn’t have to explore more of each of these character’s lives and he could close the comic leaving some loose ends but, there’s more.

Hussie? As an entity? Exists within the story. This would be all fun and dandy if it were a couple of stupid references and memes. And that’s what many people think! Most of his appearances in canon have been a joke, really. But…

Hussie joked about his influence on the comic, when his bot-self was about to mess up with the Kids in the Yellow Yard, but eventually didn’t do it. And yet? His fight with Vriska. His interactions with Caliborn. Everything pictured above? Hussie is a physical entity that follows the same rules as everyone else in Paradox Space and can influence the story. But he’s not a self-insert. He IS the Author. He is the one who wrote every of these characters and continued the story. He’s not another character, he’s himself, in the Homestuck Universe.

And then it began to dawn on me, that perhaps the Meta aspect of Homestuck was a bit more than Fourth-Wall Breaking fun and references to real life stuff. Of course, this train of thought led me to another main plot device that has never exactly been explained to its full extent. Jujus.

There’s the Sucker…

The Crowbar…

The House Juju…

A lollipop that could change character’s personalities, making them immediately make up for aaaall of their mistakes without a care in the world, start alchemizing new weapons, and end up exactly where they needed to be.

A crowbar that can break other of these mysterious devices, and more importantly, has been shown to be able to interact with the Website itself, which seems to be its own physical entity as well!

A house that gave John the ability to change the story, and that ended up being used against the Big Bad of the entire comic.

A puppet that trapped the Souls of various characters and became the gateway for the Big Bad of the comic to become who he is.

A mysterious pair of rings that oh so conveniently appear and disappear on characters, and leave you wondering what they really do, but clearly shown to at least be able to revive someone who, by no other means in the story, would have been able to get back to the world of the living.

Jujus are mysterious, when you look at them from the perspective of the characters. They have no beginning, no end, they just appear at some point and do a loop through time, ending up exactly where they appeared first. They are powerful artifacts able to change reality itself, with no explained origin… But we are no characters. We have seen what these things do on the comic through its entire lengths.

Jujus are plot devices meant to alter the Meta of the comic. They are not things that make sense in a true physical reality. They are artifacts that alter the rules of the plot. Because that’s what the plot is. A story. Because Homestuck is not real, and it acknowledges this.

Or at least… It was supposed to acknowledge this. Many have also claimed that the last updates were so disappointing, compared to Cascade, as Cascade managed to solve so many plot points, but this last one felt empty of everything. Plot. Character Development. That’s where Jujus and Hussie come in.

Hussie dies, in his own comic, a comic that acknowledges him as the actual AUTHOR of the events taking place. And later, we see…

Caliborn, the young version of Lord English, acknowledging Hussie’s death, as he takes the rest of Act 6 and makes it his. Through the use of the Command Prompt, through his own drawings, he begins to write his own story.

[S] Cascade had so many plot points resolved, and these last updates didn’t. Because that is the point. Ever since Act 5 ended and Act 6 started, Hussie has begun to lose control of the story. He was killed by Lord English, the big bad, who also took control of the narrative. Vriska acknowledges a narrator speaking, and forces the narrative to shift back to her opening the Juju chest out of frustration. The command prompts, John’s retcons- At this point, Hussie is no longer in control of his characters.

The Game Over timeline was bad, but it felt like it had more Character Development. That is because it was a not-retconned Timeline. The characters had struggles, the plot moved on forward, some people was possessed, it was all prime material for a conflict and a resolution afterwards! But Aranea’s intervention made it a Doomed Timeline. A Bad End. We all know how Doomed Timelines work, so everything that happens there would have been totally irrelevant. But John didn’t want to accept that. Roxy was still alive, and sad. And Terezi wanted him to fix things up. So instead of acknowledging he was in a Doomed Timeline, like Roxy did? Roxy, who saw her mother-daughter die in her arms, and claimed there might be nothing left for them. And meanwhile, John just managed to get his powers ready, zapped back in time and solved everything.

New problems arose in the new Timeline, sure, but not as many. And a lot of the character arcs were suddenly shoved back. Rose no longer struggles with alcoholism, Karkat doesn’t chase after Terezi, and becomes Matesprits with Dave after mellowing down. Gamzee, one of the biggest dangers, is shoved back by Vriska until he’s barely relevant anymore.

And all of this might just be me trying to find an explanation to the sudden loose ends not being tied. But I think, all of this, was meant to express more than Hussie rolling the story back or changing the story to fit other things. No.

We go back to Dave’s words. We’re real people, we don’t have arcs. We are real people. In a comic, where the author is a character, and that always acknowledges it’s a comic? Dave saying they’re real people is big. It was taken as a joke, because they are characters, come on! Right? … Right?

Well of course they are. But that’s the thing. Up until Act 6, all of the various characters were nothing more than that. And even during the Game Over Timeline, they were nothing more than that. But Hussie’s death, the ghosts, no longer relevant, trying to fight back against Lord English? Caliborn’s acknowledgement of a story and trying to take control of it? And finally, John’s powers.

The House Juju gave John something more important than being able to change the Timeline.

The ability to make Selfcest canon.

Wait no- That wasn’t it.

The ability to alter the plot to his own whims.

John’s zapping doesn’t follow the rules of Paradox Space. It allows him to change the timeline as he wishes and it still be the Alpha. Not only that, but he can also warp out of the story itself, sending people and things to the background of the website.

It’s when Vriska starts to try and find this Juju that everything about the narrative begins to shift gears. John now can change the plot. Which means he is not adhering to the rules that bound them all anymore. He can go back, bring people who were dead back to life, save his friends, and aid them get a better ending.

And in this new timeline he’s changed? Everyone seems a bit different. They have gone through different things, and are as confused as anyone else about what is going on. This is the moment where these characters stop being characters.

This isn’t a story about Four Kids playing a Game, getting involved in Shenanigans and trying to live a happy ever after as villains try to plot on destroying them and reality. Homestuck is the tale of the characters from a webcomic, becoming self-aware, and escaping the grasp of the author and the narrative.

I don’t know if this is what Hussie intended, and if it is, at what point he planned to start leading the story this way. I might just be crazy and be reading too much into this? But as I see it? It closes every single loophole in this story.

Doomed Timelines are meant to be nothing. They are meant to fade, and not be relevant anymore. But the ghosts are having none of this. They WANT to be relevant in this story again. They create an army, and head off to defeat the biggest threat in the entire comic.

Caliborn knows reality itself isn’t as it seems, and tries to make his own story within it. He strives to become almighty, and then begins to destroy and rend reality itself so he can make way for his own rule.

Vriska knows she’s in a story, having interacted with the very Author and the command prompt! But she is not trying to change the story- All the opposite. Vriska follows the rules of the story, closes loopholes from what she has seen, but tries to be the one who causes everything. She wants to be in the spotlight of this tale. She creates Bec Noir just because she had seen it in her screen. And knowing this is a story, she goes off of her way to find methods to defeat each of these villains, at any cost. Because in a story, once she defeats these big, powerful foes, she’ll be a heroine, and everyone will regard her so highly, she’ll be over everyone else. Just like she wants.

John? I don’t think he knows he’s in a story. But he has the power to alter it. And after he begins to mess with the timeline, the rules of Paradox Space begin to shatter around him and his friends. Time loops, Rules, Plot, why would they care about how a story goes, if it’s not a story, it’s their lives. They just want to be happy and get away from this cycle of destruction and death.

I’d even go as far as to say God Tier Calliope knows this. If her Land and her Earth were anything like Caliborn’s, she might also been in contact with the command prompt. Perhaps the fact her entire mission was a self-sacrifice to collapse the Green Sun represented how she, too, saw Paradox Space as what it was- A construct that kept these characters trapped as that. Characters. And the only way to escape its grasp was the erase its very existence, using Lord English’s destruction to tear a hole through the comic, and destroy it.

In this way, everything that happens towards the ending makes perfect sense. There are hundreds, thousands, who knows how many timelines, in which every plot hole will be closed. But we’re not following these. It would be easy to cause, say, the Condesce to wake up. Because of her immortality curse given by Lord English. Or the Draconian Dignitary get to the Frog Lily Pad. Something happens, interrupts the kids from entering to the new Session, and bam! Suddenly more plot! Their entrance to the Universe is blocked. Terezi worries about Vriska, so they begin to plot a way to help her defeat Lord English. The black hole in the Session that likely leads to Caliborn’s land becomes relevant, and they all have a trip to beat up Caliborn. Something happens to Calliope, her ring has ended up in Caliborn’s hands as well, he traps the kids, the Alphas beat him up, all loops are closed, we have a bittersweet, predictable ending. And this has happened. In many timelines before. Over, and over. Perhaps the one we’re following isn’t even the Alpha, for that very reason.

But it doesn’t matter. I talked about how the Jujus were a way to alter the plot, and let’s go back to this, and look at my theory about the Kids Souls being Trapped for all eternity in this Juju. The moment Caliborn uses this Juju, he kickstarts the entirety of the rules of Paradox Space. These kids we follow through the story, are trapped in a plot, with rules dictated by narrative that they HAVE to adhere too.

Then the ghosts decide that this is bullshit, and that they, even after death, want to still be relevant. Instigated by Vriska and Meenah, and aided by Aranea’s mind control, they manage to find a way they can alter the plot once again, a Juju. John touches this Juju, and suddenly he gains the power to alter this plot as well, and begins his and his friend’s journey to escape the clutches of Paradox Space and the comic itself.

John was trapped in the house all along. So of course, shoving his arm through it? He managed to grasp at the other side. He got a taste of what it was to be free. And he gained the power of changing the plot as a result.

Then, Vriska becomes alive again. She’s relevant, and bashes down on her ghost self. Ghost self that had at one point tried to make herself relevant, even though since she’s dead she shouldn’t be. This way, Vriska proves that, while she acknowledges the story as a story, and wants to be always present and in the middle, she never sees it as something she has to escape. She has no character development, because now, in this timeline that John has changed, she’s free to do whatever she wants, she’s her own person without a character arc, but doesn’t find the need to become said person. She doesn’t want to change, she wants to keep following the plot, and take down the big bad.

So Vriska takes the house Juju from her alternate self, goes against Lord English, beats up the Author of the comic itself as a last Fuck You, and then uses the Juju towards him. And this is when Alive Vriska makes her big mistake. By following this plot, this story, the Juju house crashes behind her…

She’s on Lord English’s side of the house. Because both of them know the comic is just that, a story. He knows about the narrative, and the author. So he kills the author, and becomes the big evil that must be defeated. Meanwhile, Vriska knows about the narrative, and the author, so she beats up the author and tries to become the heroine.

Caliborn and Vriska could very well strive to break free of Paradox Space in other ways, but instead they do what they do best- Be themselves, and fuck shit up in the process. And it’s this mentality that in the end, as the House Juju appears, tells us that both of them have been doomed. Doomed to be trapped in this Collapsing Paradox Space there’s no escape from.

Except there is an escape.

Because the door opens. It opens for the Kids and Trolls on the lily pad. And it opens for the Ghost Army and everyone else in the Bubbles. These are people that have been living aside from the story for a long time. The ones that are alive in the Session have had John change everything and the events happening after make them question Paradox Space itself. And the dead ones or the ones just stuck in the Furthest Ring? They fear being forgotten. They fear being erased by the collapsing Paradox Space, and had faced Lord English to try and become relevant once more.

Of course Condy’s curse didn’t wake her up. Of course DD didn’t appear. The moment the Juju appears, the story is done. There is no more plot. Because it’s not a story. The ones wanting to follow the plot are now seeing it crumble, seeing everything end. And the ones that wanted to become relevant against Paradox Space- Why would they need to even follow the rules? They are trying to escape them.

The Plot Holes are part of the plot in itself. John and everyone else didn’t need to fill it up. Because they are not part of the story anymore. We didn’t see their character arcs close. Because they are not characters anymore. They are not characters anymore. They don’t need to show us they have grown- Or maybe they haven’t even grown. They are always growing, learning. But now, they have escaped this evil Universe that trapped them and forced into cruel and crueler situations. They have escaped to a peaceful realm. They don’t need to keep following the story. They are happy and free to live their lives however they want.

They are finally happy.

Our Little Secret-Part Five

Summary: You and Dean figure out how to tell Sam. Later the two of you try something that Dean hasn’t really done

SERIES MASTERLIST

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled/Kink: Face Fucking for @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 4300

Warnings: Smut, fingering, oral, rough sex, squirting, language

A/N: I’m sorry. I was going to wait until tomorrow afternoon to post this, but I couldn’t help myself. Thank you so much for reading. I absolutely love writing this series and sharing it with you. Any feedback is always appreciated.



“You want to tell Sam?” He’s got that crease on his forehead, “I thought you didn’t want him to know.”

You smile, stretching your neck, kissing right below his ear, “But you do.”

“You’re okay with it?” He’s confused, “You’re sure?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “I’m sure.”

You’re not sure, not at all, but you kinda need to take the chance.

Dean pulls you up, pressing his lips against yours, kissing you deeply before breaking away.

You giggle, “I guess it will be easier too, we won’t have to come up with excuses for getting a different room.”

Keep reading

3

“Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you… I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.”

I was playing around using the brush in illustrator because i’ve never used it before and also because i found out that pen pressure was a thing in illustrator. Idk why i thought it wasn’t, but i always used the pen tool anyway.

Working with the brush tool was kind of frustrating. I like using sharp and textured lines when drawing Scarecrow. I couldn’t get that with the brush. Even when i was drawing with textured lines (like effects), my strokes wouldn’t stay like i had put them down.

Illustrator does this thing where it smooths out your strokes making angles impossible. The only way to manage a sharp edge with a brush would be to do small strokes at a time. But making them with a long continuous line is not going to happen. 

The fingers were especially difficult as none of the brushes maintained the varied width when applied, (again they would smooth out, he looked like he had droopy melting fingers, haha). I had to mess around with customizing brushes and using shorter strokes.

I suppose i’m spoiled by Clip Studio Paint which also has a vector feature (not as great as illustrator but still a nice touch), but in CSP you can use any of your tools as a vector and that’s like the most amazing thing. CSP actually had a pen that smoothed/ warped your lines for “effect” like illustrator does….i deleted it immediately. lol. 

Idk how the brush tool is like in illustrator cc since i have cs6, but i’m assuming they’ve had to have improved it after theses years right?

Well, i’m going to sleep now. i’ve been fighting with this thing all day, haha.

I have only just found out that this amazing man has committed suicide and I am extremely broken up about it. I grew up with Linkin Park blasting through the speakers in my parent’s car and it was an achievement when I learnt the lyrics to “Bleed it out”. You will be missed, Chester Bennington, but I hope that it’s better for you now and you no longer have to deal with the struggles that you were going through x

Midnight Talks Pt. Three || Peter Parker Imagine

Originally posted by juliechavira

Word Count: 1,322

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Part One     Part Two

He turned and smiled at you, “Hey Y/N.” As the two of you walked across the tile floor together, you started contemplating about inviting Peter to your house tonight. Reaching his locker,you built up the confidence to ask, “Do you want to, maybe, come over to my place tonight to study or something?”

The students in the hallway were quite noisy but all you could hear was Peter’s lovely voice. Not in a good way though. He froze. The girl of his dreams was asking him to hang out. Together. His hopes at spending time with you were quickly shut down as he remembered his new ‘night job’.

“I, I would love to but,“he said while scratching his neck,“I have that internship with Mr. Stark tonight-” He stopped when he saw you blush and look at your shoes. You took his pause as a chance to retaliate, “No, I,um, I get it. Priorities right?” You nervously chuckled, trying to lighten the mood as he just held the door of his locker. You were slowly backing away, wanting to leave the embarrassing situation.“I’ll see you around, Peter.” You turned around, fleeing to your own locker. Peter stood there at his locker, taking out his books. On the soon closed door, he leaned his head against the cool metal, regretting the mistake he just made.


You threw your backpack on the floor and jumped onto your bed face first. Laying flat on your face, you thought about the terrible day you had. You just cried. Rolling over onto your back you realized that nothing ever went your way. The tears kept streaming down your face before you sighed, not feeling motivated to do anything. You decided to wrap yourself in your blanket and sleep.

It was dark outside when you finally woke up. You went and ate your dinner before deciding to call it quits for the day. You practically crawled back to your room. When you got inside the room, you turned around to quietly shut the door. All of a sudden, a clothed hand covered your mouth which muffled your screams of terror and a hand wrapped around your waist. The person removed their hand from your waist to make you turn around. You then came face-to-face with your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. He slowly removed his hand from your mouth, as he saw you no longer struggling against him.

You steadied your breath before speaking sarcastically,“Seriously, man? I thought we were friends.”

Spider-Man looked at the ground ashamed, “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just, I didn’t want you to scream but, you screamed anyway so it was kind of pointless.” He was fiddling with his fingers. You sighed, “It’s alright, I was just shocked.” The two of you stood there for a minute before he broke the silence.

“I brought you flowers,” he said, pointing to the bundle of flowers that he placed on your bed. You smiled and walked over to get them. “Do you like them?” He asked as he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. You smiled wider as you started messing with one of the flowers, “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

He walked over to you and sat on the floor, leaning on your bed like the first time you met. You put the flowers back on the bed, bent down and sat next to him as he put his head in his hands sighing. “You don’t look so happy. What’s wrong?” You asked him sympathetically.    

“I have a crush on this girl, and she is just so amazing. But, I think I’ve ruined any chance I had with her.” He said with a low, sad voice, “I just don’t know what to do.”

You put your hand on his back to be supportive. “I know the feeling.”

Spider-Man quickly dusted of his sad emotions, “How was school?” He quickly composed himself. “Um,” you scoffed out of pity for yourself, “horrible. I think I ruined my friendship with Peter, had a surprise quiz in my least favorite class,and I didn’t have time to eat lunch because I was too busy avoiding my friends.” You were on the verge of tears again. You looked up, trying to keep the tears from falling. Spider-Man looked slightly shocked. The strong girl that he knew was about to break down.

He moved his body to a comfortable position where he could hug the sad girl. He wrapped one of his arms around your waist, for the second time that night, and placed his other hand to cradle your head. Small tears leaked from your eyes, which slowly started to soak his suit. You both sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, just in each others company.

You  started to pull away, making Spider-Man pull away too but he stayed in front of you sitting on his shins.“I want you to know, that you’re the highlight of my day, Y/N.  You motivate me to go out and keep helping people, everyday. Without you, I’d be lost.” He spoke with such passion and adoration , placing his hands on both of your cheeks.

You were confused. “But, w-we just met. How can I motivate you if-” before you could finish your sentence, he pulled back. The man looked deeply into your eyes before placing his hands under his chin, on the edge of his mask. He took a deep breath before peeling the mask off of his face.He kept his face down, but only for a second.

He looked up into your eyes. Your mouth was opened slightly, from shock. “Oh God,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him. You glanced down at the mask in his hands before looking back up at him. “Peter, what- why- I, how the hell are you Spider-Man?” You asked still in shock.

“It’s a long story. But, everything I just said, I meant every word. You mean so much to me and, things would suck if you weren’t in my life.” Peter said, dropping the mask to put his hands back onto your cheeks. He looked deep into your eyes, and you could see that he meant it all.

“That’s why you said you couldn’t come over.”You chuckled. “I told Spider-Man, that, that I have a crush on you. I literally told you, oh wow. That’s kind of embarrassing.” Saying this made Peter laugh lightly. You enclosed your hands around his neck, pulling his face closer to yours. You felt his breath fan out over your skin. He leaned in closer, closing his eyes and tilting his head before crashing his lips down on to yours. His lips were soft, and the kiss was passionate.

The two of you pulled away to take a breath of air. “Wow,” he said, eyes slightly wide which made you laugh.

“Do you want to go out with me, maybe?” He asked with a wide grin. “I would love to Spider-Man.” You replied with a smile mirroring his.


The next day at school, you found Peter, standing alone at your locker on his phone. You smiled with a blush, remembering last night. “Hey.” You said approaching him.

He looked up from his phone to see you, putting the device in his pocket, “Hello gorgeous.” He greeted you as he pulled your hips towards him so he can place his lips on yours once again. He didn’t care that there were people everywhere, he just really wanted to kiss you.

Down the hall, Michelle and Ned stood dumbstruck. “I knew it,” the two teens exclaimed in unison as they saw their friends passionately kissing. Ned pulled out his phone and opened his camera. “What are you doing?” Michelle asked. Ned smirked, “Taking a picture to show their kids.”

tagged dudes

@wiccanjr @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @miraisnotavailable

2

Women have acne. Women have acne on their faces, necks, chests, breasts, and backs. Women have oily skin and acne scars and that’s just the beginning of it. Despite how many of us have it, it seems it will never be accepted in society. It seems the more we tell people to cover it up, the more we’re pretending it’s going to go away, and for many women it doesn’t. We see hundreds of ads daily about “fixing our skin” and “hiding our blemishes” as though acne were as simple as putting on a cream and waking up with clear skin. Clear skin is a skin type, not a healthcare routine. Women are sick of being asked if we’ve washed our faces or being told that makeup only makes our acne worse. Sometimes we can’t go outside because what’s on our faces is always on our minds.

Acne is something lots of us have and will continue to have whether or not we eat like Instagram models or drink several gallons of water a day. With something as natural as acne being considered ugly, young people grow up seeing themselves in a negative light and wait until their acne goes away. It’s ridiculous to consider that just a trick of light on a selfie can make us look like we have clear skin, which is when we feel most beautiful. We need to learn we’re beautiful no matter what marks our skin.
I’ve had acne since I was 13 and even though it’s no longer as bad as it was, to this day I struggle with leaving the house makeup-less and uncovered. That’s 5 years of hating how I looked, hundreds of skin creams and many limiting and unrealistic diets to make my acne go away, but now I have learnt it might not be going anywhere. 

Acne will still be there when covered in makeup. Acne is human. No amount of “skin care” can take that away from us. Stop demonising acne in the media and making it ugly.

And so I write this to encourage girls to stop buying from brands which suggest “minimising the appearance of pores”, “give you flawless skin”, or “whiten your skin in up to 3 days”, which tries to make the natural way skin is, seem ugly and unfashionable. You’ll see much more of the exploitation of our appearances through brands as you get older, so stop giving these corporations the satisfaction of preying on young girl’s insecurities for the sake of business. Your skin is not a flaw sis, keep rockin’ it and screw the expectations.

1 | Save Me

BTS X READER: GANG / CRIME AU
word count: 
3,745

series warnings: violence, gore, probably smut at some point I mean it’s me we’re talking about, this chapter has mention of non-con

Originally posted by annabartollo

masterlist | ask | next


Another gloomy day, another substitute teacher. You looked up at the elderly man who stood at the front of the classroom, he was wearing brown slacks and a messily ironed green plaid shirt, no wedding ring, no signs of any life beyond being a substitute teacher at the university. Pity dawned on you when you noticed his face burning with embarrassment when the wave of realisation that he had no idea what he was doing washed over him. Not being able to watch the old man struggle any longer you raised your hand, to the surprise of everybody in the room, 

“Yes Y/N?" 

"Sir would you like me to help? I still have some of Mr Lee’s lesson plans in my bag I could-" 

"That won’t be necessary Y/N. I’m perfectly capable of doing things myself.” The man scolded before he turned around to write some equations on the board, he was much harsher than you anticipated. 

Exhaling deeply you slouched back into your chair, you missed your old professor, Mr Lee. He was a much nicer man. Though he was younger than most professors, he was always very friendly, smart and helpful, everything a professor should be. And being a high achiever in his class didn’t go unnoticed, once a week he would let you teach your group, and with you being president of the student union it meant that nobody could argue with his decision either. Other students had their theories, that you and he were secretly hooking up on late night study sessions, either that or the only reason he was so nice to you was because his younger brother was your flat mate. However none of the rumours were true, except from you living with his brother who was also a student. But that all changed two weeks ago, nobody knows exactly what happened but Mr Lee just vanished out of nowhere, completely disappeared off the face of the Earth. Of course there were varying theories, but nobody saw anything, nobody heard anything, nobody knew anything. And so your fate of having to face substitute teacher after substitute teacher day after day was sealed. 

“She’s feisty today.” The orange haired boy sat next to you muttered, loud enough for you to hear, 

Keep reading

One of the most uncomfortable and unkind things I have ever heard someone say was to a trans person.

The words were “You are destroying your body.”


And after saying this terrible body shaming thing, they looked to me, another cis person for support in their ignorant point of view.


So I took a deep breath and said, “No. No, she is not destroying her body. Do you understand how difficult it must have been for a trans person to grow up feeling like they are not at home in their own skin? Constantly feel like something is wrong? Then having to tell the people they love who may not agree with them? Do you understand how much courage it takes to be that kind of exceptional human being who will not lie to themselves or the people they love about who they are and what body they belong in? Because we cannot even fathom that struggle as cis gendered people. They have a longer journey to get the body they feel at home in. They have a more difficult path to get what we take for granted because we have always felt at home in our own bodies. They are braver than you or I could ever be. And one wonderful day, they will end up with a body that they appreciate and look after far more as home because they have struggled and broken and survived so much more to get it.”

—  Nikita Gill, Respect Trans People And Their Bodies

anonymous asked:

What do you do when art block hits you?

GASP! THE BEAST. IT STRIKES WHEN YOU LEAST SUSPECT. LEADING TO FAILED ARTS. NO MOTIVATION. AND WORST OF ALL when you put it that way it sounds pretty painful.

So I’m going to preface this with this is how I combat my own lack of motivation. People are different than me. What works for me might not work for you. Sorry it got lengthy. I guess I had a lot to say about it. For that reason I’m putting it under a cut.
Also because I wanted to draw froggits.

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Wanna One ·Kissing· (Maknae line)

Park Jihoon

  • His kisses depend on the mood and situation
  • Somedays he wants a short sweet peck
  • Hands on both of your cheeks
  • Giggles and smiles everywhere
  • But other times wow
  • This boy likes long passionate kissing let me tell you
  • That also means making out
  • a lot
  • Hands on your waist that slowly move to your upper back, then to your cheeks
  • Loves it when you play with his hair, and run your nails across the nape of his neck
  • His hand sneaks under your shirt and he rubs small circles with his thumb on your hip
  • His lips move slow, sensual
  • Bites your lower lip from time to time
  • Like wow I know jihoon acts super cute the majority of the time but with his gf he would try to be more manly, sexy even
  • But he will just turn tomato red after kissing you at either situation
  • Because he would never accustom to the feeling of your lips on his
  • Loves to remind you your lips are his favorite thing
  • Buys you all kinds of flavored lip balm “for you” to try
  • Likes it when you use them and ask him which one he likes better
  • Because that means more kisses
  • And he is up for that any time you want

Park Woojin

  • His kisses are shy
  • This boy right here is so insecure about kissing
  • He thinks he doesn’t know how to do it properly because he hasn’t have many experience
  • Too shy to initiate anything that involves his lips getting near yours.
  • But that doesn’t stop him from loving kissing your forehead and temples
  • Watching him squirm every time your face gets too close to his makes you laugh
  • But you are aware that he does want to kiss you because of the way he always looks at your lips and simultaneously licks his
  • Probably the type to practice kissing when he is alone
  • can you picture it tho bc i sure can
  • One day he just bluntly says he wants to kiss you
  • So you just told him to do it and waited for him to do something
  • He didn’t move at all
  • He just kept looking at you
  • Like that wasn’t the answer he was e x p e c t i n g
  • Just an “uhmm” left his lips as his eyes looked at everything but your face
  • You smiled at him and leaned in
  • As your lips touched he came back to his senses and kissed you back
  • Loves when you brush his hair back
  • After that he would ask you to kiss him all the time
  • Like he has been missing out a lot, you have to make up for the lost time

Bae Jinyoung

  • His kisses are just aw
  • Idk if you get me
  • Like i see him just pecking you on the lips and all the members in the background awing
  • Because everything would be so sweet
  • From the way he holds you to the way he kisses you
  • Cute
  • Definitely would have heart eyes everytime he sees you
  • Such a romantic
  • Holds your hand and plays with your fingers with a shy smile on his face
  • Switching from looking at your face to your hands
  • Thinks you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen
  • Leans down slowly while still smiling
  • Probably laughs * bc he’s a nervous mess * an inch away from your lips
  • When you are about to ask him why he’s laughing he just close the distance between you two
  • He takes his time
  • Slow shy lips
  • Always has one hand playing with one of yours
  • Interlocking your fingers, rubbing the back of your hand or your palm with his thumb
  • The other one holds your cheek
  • But loves it when both of your hands play with the hair in the nape of his neck and he just places his hands on your lower back
  • Brushes the hair out of your face after kissing you
  • Smiles softly
  • Tries to hide his head in the crook of your neck while he hugs you

Lee Daehwi

  • His kisses are cute and innocent
  • Simple as that
  • Loves to kiss your cheeks
  • Loves it even more when you kiss his
  • Back hugging you with his chin on your shoulder as he kisses your neck just because he knows it tickles you
  • And he loves your laugh and smile
  • Seeing you happy just makes him happy
  • Back to the stuff
  • Pecks on the lips are enough for him
  • But when he feels a bit confident he would let his lips linger on yours a bit longer
  • Or go in for a second peck
  • You would be just goofing around when he suddenly stops doing whatever he was doing
  • Says some cute compliment like how the way you look when you laugh is the prettiest you’ve ever looked
  • And as you blush
  • And he dies on the inside
  • He takes your cheeks on his hands
  • Leans in while he chews on his lip
  • and just before kissing you he releases the air he didn’t realize he was holding
  • Closes the distance between the two of you with a deep blush on his cheeks
  • Probably has no clue of how to deepen the kiss
  • But he really wants to stay with his lips locked with yours longer than a peck
  • You would feel his struggle when a whole 5 seconds passed and he still had his lips pressed to yours
  • So you tiled your head a bit and moved your lips.
  • His eyes would open in surprise
  • Like o m g this is h a p p e n i n g
  • But he would catch on quickly
  • Smiles a lot and presses many kisses all over your face when its over

Lai Guanlin

  • His kisses are smooth
  • Probably learned all he knows about kissing by watching movies and series
  • And he actually is not bad at it
  • Idk he gives me the vibe that he knows how to kiss pretty well
  • But he is not aware of it.
  • Like he is super insecure but he tries not to show it by making YOU nervous and flustered
  • Loves to bear-hug you
  • Your head on his chest
  • His head buried in your hair
  • Kisses your cheek and places his head back on your shoulder
  • Where he says something cheesy that makes you blush
  • And maybe unconsciously he spoke lower than usual and his breath was tickling your neck and made you shiver
  • Not being sarcastic he literally didn’t knew what he was doing.
  • Until he felt you shiver
  • Thats when he became a flustered mess himself
  • Leans back barely to look at you
  • Noses touching he looks into your eyes
  • If you were averting his gaze he would feel kind of ashamed
  • Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable
  • When you finally look back at him assuring him that it was fine
  • He would go back to his mushy smiley self but at the same time he wouldn’t want to let you go so would go straight to to the point and ask if he could kiss you
  • Closes the distance between you two
  • Plump soft lips
  • Hands firm on your waist
  • Loves when you kiss his cheek or nose afterwards

a/n: It took me longer than expected to finish this (bc of jihoon that boy confused me a lot) but it’s finally here! If somone has an idea of what should i write next, feel free to send me or ask me anything. It will take some time (curse uni) but It will be posted eventually.

Hope you enjoy it! :)

Hyung line ver.

Making out: Hyung line + Jihoon

2

Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you… I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

Keeping Your End of the Bargain

I promised I’d give you all another Dark fic when we reached our next milestone, and I always keep my promises. 

Just a quick warning- this is not fluff. It’s not romance. It’s not a sympathetic portrayal. This man is a manipulator, a good one, and he does what he does to further his own interests. He enjoys control, not company. And, to use Mark’s own words:

He is not here to help you. He is here to use you.

Enjoy.

Originally posted by wrcngchcice


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I usually say my favourite genre of speculative fiction is post-apocalyptic, but really, it’s more like… post-post-apocalyptic. You know, milieux where the immediacy of the apoclyptic crisis has passed and the struggle to survive and rebuild is no longer the narrative focus - basically, slice-of-life stories that just happen to be set amid the vast and incomprehensible ruins of some inconceivable precursor civilisation.

10

OK ya, a Spirited Away AU is so cliché and overrated?? BUT this movie is undeniably one of my favorite Miyazaki films of all time so I couldn’t resist doing a cross over (btw if you haven’t watched Spirited Away yet, I recommend this movie)!!

ok tbh, I wanted to redraw one or two scenes to practice on my coloring, and experiment with different brushes/techniques–but I think I  got a little carried away

So yeah!! Random Haku/Chihiro scenes with a Mika/Yuu twist :-))