The Chemistry of Love
Summary: There is a chemical formula for LOVE: C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2 Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin, which can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity.
want to feel love, you hated it and you weren’t gonna overdose on it, because
to love means to expose oneself, means to be weak. And you didn’t want to be weak;
you didn’t want to be weak anymore.
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
A/N: Just right out of the oven, I don’t know If I will continue it but I wanted to give it a try, just tell me what you think about it :)
Inspired but the picture below lol.
It was a sunny Friday day of spring as you walked through campus to get to your first class, you loved spring; air turning warmer, nature starting to grow, days becoming longer… but what you hated about it was seeing the “lovely” couples making out in front of everyone, couldn’t they just do that inside closed doors? Losers, they don’t know is just chemicals in their brains you thought to yourself, one day or another one of them is gonna end up with a broken heart because of some shit the other did, telling the other that it didn’t feel the same anymore instead of telling that he/she was fucking someone else. Love didn’t exist.
Your father left your mother when you were just a baby; It destroyed her in ways you can even explain. When you are little people tell you that if a boy treats you wrong it because he likes you, so you grow up with this conception in your mind and when you are older you find yourself crying over some fuckboy who threw you in the trash the moment he got what he wanted. And this circle would repeat itself again and again. You start to feel the need of physical and emotional affection so you run to the first man who will provide you that, the thing is that they only provide you the physical part, you have fun for a while until you start to feel empty again and when you began to ask for some emotional affection they guy runs away. And that is was what happened to your mother endless of times.
You didn’t have a romantic loving relationship you could look up to when you were younger so when you were just a kid you dreamed about finding someone to love and be loved back like it happened in the movies but with the years that dream began to vanish until the point you didn’t believe in love anymore. For you it were just chemicals in your brain, you didn’t want to admit it but you hated the idea of becoming someone like your mother, a clingy sad person who couldn’t live without a man by her side.
You felt bad for thinking that way but the moment you were able to take off from home you didn’t even though about it. You loved your mother but you despised seeing her fall for some man and then end up drunk, crying all over the floor. You tried to help her several times but it just didn’t work, what made her happy was being with a man, not being with you.
With time and experiences you formed the idea that certain people could never be loved. It just is not their destiny; they are not made for that. And you were one of those people. You’ve always totally refused to believe that it was important, you always tried to convince yourself that it didn’t matter, that one can be happy being alone, that there are just people who are born for that and other people who are not and you were one of the latter. But at the same time, deep down, you hoped that someday it would change. It’s like everything and everyone around us says that love is the greatest prize that someone can have in this life, as the most beautiful feeling that one can ever feel. But what if … there are people who are not destined for that? What if, you are a person who will never feel that? It annoyed you and terrified you to your bones to think that the only thing that makes us humans feel fully and purely happy is love.