no justification or excuse

I really do like canon Lotor as a villain.

I think he’s intelligent and compelling and his villainish motives are far more complex than just “I’m Baddie McBad who is evil because I said so”

However, liking a complex villain does not mean justifing or excusing their behaviour, it just means that I think it’s good storytelling to give the Paladins of Voltron a worthy and intelligent opponent to drive their development.

I have no clue why this has to be repeated so many times but a lot of people just want to be so disgusting and vile. This is truly unfortunate. 

DO NOT SEXUALIZE UNDERAGE IDOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this includes:

  • smut fanfiction/reaction/scenarios/MTLs etc
  • ^^ justifying these actions because it is “freedom” of writing and creativity 
  • posting highly inappropriate content on idol’s social medias 
  • attending their concerts, fan meets, etc and displaying disrespectful and gross images or sayings 
  • justifying sexualization with “age of consent”
  • wanting and anticipating for an underage age to become legal/ turn of age 
  • and many many

This is being very much so predatory/ pedophile 


You literally have no justification to sexualize minors.

NONE.

So fuck yall lame ass dumb excuses about “freedom” and “creativity” or feeling like badasses and sexualizing anyways. Additionally, yall love to say someone does not look like a “child” so yall sexualize anyways. <—– THIS is also dangerous and sickening because no matter what they person looks like they are still u n d e r a g e. 

The industry that they are in is already horrendous with shady people and purposively marketing strategies that sexualize underage idols. Fans do not have any right to do this too. No one is right in acting and defending these poor actions.

Protect not just idols but children and teens in general because the world is already dangerous BUT we do not need sexualization. STOP looking at literal children as tools to feed your awful and dirty minded fantasies. They are not and will never be yall’s like this. 

The scene on Endor is so important to me for many reasons but one of them is that in it, Han Solo apologises. Which marks one of the very few times that I’ve seen a male character apologising for getting jealous of his own volition, not because he got yelled at or anything, but because he realised that Leia was upset and that this was not the time for him to get petty and stupid over his own insecurities, and I love that.

Because jealousy is so often portrayed as a funny or even romantic thing, a sign that the guy is in love or whatever, when in fact, jealous behaviour is almost always hurtful or even controlling behaviour. As an instinct or reaction, it’s very human and understandable, but when I see characters acting jealously, I see them acting in a way that’s possessive, manipulative, controlling, hurtful, and ultimately, lacking in trust. No one ever does nice things out of jealousy.

Here’s the thing: who Leia falls for is her choice. Who Leia trusts and confides in is her choice. Who Leia has a relationship with is her choice. And Han knows this. He gets momentarily jealous and annoyed because he’s been away from her for a year and he’s scared of losing her and maybe she doesn’t care as much as he does, and they’re back to fighting, and he doesn’t know what to do about any of it. He tried asking her outright, and that didn’t work, and that’s Han out of ideas. Not like Luke, who’s good at this emotional stuff, damn him anyway. But then Han realises very quickly that Leia’s upset, and he’s being petty and unhelpful and making everything worse. Luke just left, and whatever he is to her, whatever they said to each other, Leia is upset.

Leia, obviously, doesn’t really care about love triangles right now. Leia has just had several major revelations, she has a brother, she has a father, they might kill each other, and she’s also in the middle of a life-or-death mission. What Leia needs right now is just someone to be on her side, not demands for answers or petty jealousies. She doesn’t want to talk about it. She needs to process it all first.

So then it’s Han’s choice whether he storms off in a huff because she’s not putting him first, or turns back to comfort her because he’s putting her first.

He chooses the latter. He chooses her. He puts his jealousy and his insecurities to the side, he swallows his pride, he apologises for losing his temper and being an idiot, and he doesn’t try to offer an excuse or explanation or justification for it, either. He just says “I’m sorry” and stands there, saying nothing, making it clear that he’s here for her in whatever way she needs. Putting her first. No expectations. Because he has no idea what Leia needs or wants right now so he’s decided to just give her a chance to tell him.

He’s also made himself vulnerable, because you know that between these two, an apology is a Big Deal, a major score for the other side. But what it also means is that Leia can now turn to him for comfort, because he’s being sincere, so she can be, too. You can tell it surprises Han, because of course he didn’t even realise he was doing it right, but unlike their earlier fights, this one ends well because what do you know, a relationship is about trust and consideration and putting each other first.

The point is: Han realises that he’s being an idiot, he apologises for it, he doesn’t make excuses, and he doesn’t demand any particular reaction to it. It’s a genuine apology and it’s given, with no expectations or conditions attached, for a behaviour that’s romanticised far too often. It turns the “jealous lover” trope around and puts the romance where it ought to be: in the apology, aka the act of genuinely putting the other person first.

Oh yeah, Dracula is totally justified in slaughtering thousands of people, most of which probably didn’t even know about his wife’s existence, much less what happened to her.

The people in Gresit? Yeah, I’m sure they knew fully well what happened in Lupu, since news spreads so fast in 15th century Romania.

Those infants his monsters killed? They clearly had Lisa’s blood on their hands.

But hey, at least he’s doing something his wife would surely appreciate and isn’t pissing on her grave by doing the one thing she would have never wanted him to do, right?

…whoops.

I cannot relate or converse with non radfem women anymore because no matter what kind of issue and problem I want to discuss, the second I point out it’s all caused, perpetuated, and done by men and for benefit of men, suddenly they look uncomfortable, they look away, they mumble “no” and then shake their heads and start their talk about “not all men”, they start lining up excuses, explanations, justifications, trying to cut blame into small pieces and disperse it all over society, it’s not just the men, it’s not all of them, women do something unrelated that is somehow equally bad and worth bringing into discussion, men were taught to act this way, eventually it all turns into one big chant “we must not blame men. we must not blame men” and I can talk about globe-wide issues, witch burnings, foot binding, female genital mutilation, slavery, taking human rights from women, marital abuse, pedophilia, rape, necrophilia, destruction of environment, murders, forced impregnation and forced birth, taking women’s last names and their identities, forcing their name onto women’s children, societal brainwashing and Stockholm syndrome, I always get the same feedback “We must not blame men.”

And I get it, I know what’s happening under their conscious thoughts, I know what’s going on in their heads when they look away. “ It would be really painful to believe men are like this after I’ve given them so much love and trust. I don’t want to believe that my male friends, partners, father, brothers, are all like this. They aren’t. This has to have another explanation. If men are truly like this I won’t be able to feel safe anymore. I want to feel safe. If I start believing this then how will I get to work tomorrow, how will I get to class, how will I go home? I can’t survive without men. Calling them out is dangerous. If I were to say something like this to them, they wouldn’t take it well, they would attack me and deny it. I know exact words they would use, I’ll say them all now. I really want this to not be true. If I can explain it away, it might go away. I want to believe they’re good. I want to keep hoping. I can still survive like this. It’s survivable. I want to live in a world where they’re not like that, and maybe if I believe it strongly enough, it will happen. I can remember men doing some good things too, I’ll hang onto those memories. Maybe they’ll change if we give them enough kindness and love.”

And we were all there. We all started from this. And it was a hard step to let go of it. It was a hard step to acknowledge that there’s so many women who won’t survive under tyranny of men. There’s such a large number of women who are tortured every day. Every single woman is taking damage under the male controlled system, and even if some can survive it, for most it’s only matter of time before they’re assaulted, tortured, raped, denied resources, backed into corner, forced to give up their integrity, their resources, their justice, their safety, their life. We already are forced to look at atrocities they do to our sisters, mothers, to our children, and then we have to look away, we have to let it keep happening. I wouldn’t ask women to face harsh realities if I had not believed it’s truly and honestly in their best interests. You can defend men all your life, and still your life might end with man’s hands around your neck, as he tells you that you asked for it. Believing in their good nature won’t save you from men. They already kill women who believe in them, and they kill them slowly, punish them for their trust and empathy, use their compassion against them, use women’s survival instincts to get more and more and more from them.

Getting away from men, or disabling them from harming any woman on this planet is the only thing that has any chance of protecting you. You are worthy of more than men have convinced you. You are life itself and they’re trying to hide it from you. You are a source of life and it’s in their nature to destroy you. You deserve a better life than what men have given you. 

학교의 눈물 1

학교 wrong, 사회 wrong
부모 wrong, 선생 wrong
피해자 wrong, 가해자 wrong
방관자 maybe, 방관자 maybe

‘착한아이 콤플렉스’
그게 내 병명이었지
(그래도 모두한테 잘해줬어..)
그게 내 변명이었지
뒤에선 나쁘다며 씹고
앞에선 착한 척했어
봐도 못 본 척했어
학교는 전쟁터
어쩌면 이건 학교란 사각의
링 위에서의 나만의 싸움
누군가는 그저 방관에
대한 정당화일뿐이라 하겠지만


➼ 학교 - school
➼ 사회 - society
➼ 부모 - parents
➼ 선생 - teacher
➼ 피해자 - victim
➼ 가해자 - assailant, attacker
➼ 방관자 - bystander, spectator
➼ 착하다 - to be nice (to others)
➼ 아이 - a kid
➼ 콤플렉스 - a complex
➼ 병명 - the name of a disease
➼ 그래도 - yet, still
➼ 모두 - everyone
➼ 잘하다 - to do sth well, 잘해주다 - to treat someone well
➼ 변명 - an excuse, a justification
➼ 뒤 - the back
➼ 앞 - the front
➼ 씹다 - to chew (on sth)
➼ 전쟁터 - battlefield
➼ 어쩌면 - perhaps, maybe
➼ 사각 - a square,  사각의 - square (adj.)
➼ 링 - a (boxing )ring
➼ 싸움 - a fight
➼ 누군가 - someone
➼ 방관(하다) - to be a spectator, to sit by and watch
➼ 정당화 - a justification


➽ DV은/ㄴ / AV는 척하다 - to pretend
   ⇨ 착한 척하다 - to pretend to be nice
   ⇨ 공부하는 척하다 - to pretend to study

아/어도 is a construction that means ‘even if, even though’
   ⇨ 봐도 못 본 척했어 - Even if I saw it, I pretended that I didn’t.
   ⇨ 공부를 많이 안 해도 시험을 잘봤어요. - Even though I didn’t study a lot, I passed the exam. 

#NoFearFriday

5 Fear-based Habits You Can Drop Today

1. Headlines - the news is designed to keep us in a state of fear by constantly pushing narratives that don’t serve us. These stories fill our subconscious with fear-based imagery which affects the way we make decisions. After a week of not watching or reading the latest news you will notice a huge difference.

2. Gossiping - talking about people behind their backs, making up rumours about them or listening to others talk about them is a fear-based behaviour. Try being honest with the person to iron-out your issue with them or avoid them altogether. The time you spent gossiping is time you could invest in yourself.

3. Following - whether it’s the latest trends, other people’s advice or government officials - following others takes away your power. Create your own life: wear what makes you feel good, find a lifestyle that works for you and do what fulfils you. Follow your heart instead of other people and you will love your life.

4. Excuses - excuses sound best to those who are making them. When you don’t get what you want - try another way instead of giving up and making an excuse. There are no excuses - only justifications for why things haven’t gone your way. Making an excuse is easy - trying again is hard.

5. Opinions - behaving in a way that gives you the validation of others is a fear-based behaviour. If you are relying on someone’s opinion of you to bring you fulfilment - you are then their prisoner. Act in a way that serves and fulfils you - regardless of what anyone else says or thinks about it.

We are powerful beings with limitless potential - fear-based habits impose limitation on us and stop us from living the life we dream of. It will take time to remove these habits completely - but the first step is acknowledging that they’re present.

Fear can only limit you if you let it.

Peace & positive vibes.

Got a specific problem you need help with? Add me on Skype for a free consultation - spoonofconsciousness@gmail.com :)

anonymous asked:

Do you think Kara remembers the phantom zone? At least on some level?

She’d fallen asleep in her big sister’s arms, because after everything – after Jeremiah, after Rick Malverne, after the Daxamite invasion, after… everything – they’ve been having a whole lot more Sisters’ Nights.

She’d been afraid, at first.

About Maggie.

Because she told Alex to never let her go, but here she is, taking all of Alex’s time, her emotional energy, her physical touch.

But one night – one night that found pizza boxes and alien rum and whisky tumblers spread across Alex’s living room, both of the sisters tangled in the same blanket on the couch, trying to sleep off the food and the alcohol – she hears the door to Alex’s apartment open.

She’s not quite asleep, but she pretends to be.

Alex is trying to get her to apologize less. A habit that formed and stuck with… him. 

And she doesn’t want to feel like she has to apologize to Maggie.

For monopolizing her girlfriend.

So she keeps her eyes closed and she tries to keep her breathing even as she hears Maggie’s footsteps and heartbeat approach.

She feigns sleep as she feels Maggie lift the blanket up to cover Alex’s exposed feet, and she tries not to let tears leak out of her eyes when she hears her kiss Alex’s face and whisper that she loves her so damn much.

But she almost blows her own cover when Maggie shifts to her, too.

There’s a hesitation, like Maggie is deciding whether this intimacy with her girlfriend’s sister is acceptable, would be welcome. 

She must determine that it is – that they’ve survived too much together – because she adjusts Kara’s side of the blanket, too, to cover Kara’s exposed shoulder. She smooths – gently, gently, so Kara doesn’t wake – a few strands of hair away from Kara’s face. She kisses Kara’s forehead, soft and tender, right before she whispers, “Love you, Kid Danvers. Rest well.”

Kara’s heart almost bleeds at the sincerity of it, of this woman she’s been jealous of, this woman she’s been warring with and trying so hard not to.

She continues to feign sleep as she hears Maggie pad softly away from the couch; hears her pour two glasses of water and leave them on the table; clear away the empty pizza boxes and liquor bottles; pour some water for herself; and tiptoe up into Alex’s bedroom. 

For some reason, it doesn’t make Kara feel like her space – because Alex has always been hers – is being invaded.

Instead, somehow, it feels like her space is being shared. Enhanced.

Like she’s safe.

And she snuggles into that feeling – that feeling of being surrounded by love – and lets herself actually drift into sleep.

And the dream – the memory, really – starts that way.

Safe. Surrounded, in a good way. Snuggled. Protected. Sheltered.

There’s the soft hum of Kryptonian engines – a gentle, barely-there, rhythmic sound that she will never stop missing – and there’s the brilliant glow, visible even behind her closed eyelids, of nothing, of everything.

Of time folding in on itself and holding, holding, holding.

For a moment, it’s comforting.

Like Alex’s arms, strong and steady even in sleep, wrapped around her.

Of Maggie’s tentative kiss to her forehead, to her new little sister’s face.

Of Lena’s lips, earlier today, pressing against her cheek, both hoping the other would turn at exactly the right time, bringing lips to meet lips instead of the more platonic embrace.

Of James’s attentiveness, of Winn’s firm faith, of J’onn’s steady support.

For a moment.

But then it’s her aunt’s body dying in her arms and it’s Rick Malverne trying to kill her sister because of her, of her, of her, and it’s her parents, creating weapons and ending lives and swearing it’s for the greater good.

Of her parents, her friends, her entire world.

Vaporized. Gone.

Endlessly looping, endlessly cycling, endless. 

Past, present, and future, meaningless, melded, because it all loops here.

Loops, endlessly.

For years and seconds and centuries.

Loops, endlessly, even as she sleeps.

Especially as she sleeps.

Because her body won’t age, but her mind is awake, somewhere, in there.

In the Phantom Zone.

She never remembers while she’s awake, now.

She never feels the lingering sense of endlessness, the heady sense of all-knowingness, the hopelessness of eternity, while she’s awake, now.

But when she sleeps?

Sometimes, when she sleeps, it comes back to her.

Her planet, gone.

Her, alone.

Surviving. Alone.

Prevented even from getting to Kal, useless even in the one reason she survived. The one reason she might have been able to scrape together some measly excuse, some desperate justification, for living when everyone else was dead. 

Gone.

Because she’s trapped.

The one use she could have had. Useless.

And she has seconds, years, centuries, it feels like, to contemplate it, even as she sleeps, even as she doesn’t age.

Even as time is collapsed.

She only remembers, now, when she sleeps.

Sometimes.

And every time, she weeps.

And it’s her weeping that wakes her.

Because she’s not alone in her pod anymore.

She might feel like she’s there, but she’s not, she’s not, and she never will be again.

Because her shuddering wakes her sister, and her sister wakes her, and she kisses away her tears and she holds her as time ticks, as hearts beat, as bodies age and relationships bloom.

“I got you,” Alex whispers.

And that’s all Kara ever needs to know.

gercan -- so i keep you in my mind

Gilbert calls right as Ludwig is measuring out detergent. It’s not a task that needs his full attention, much to his despair, so Ludwig cannot, in good conscience, simply ignore Gilbert’s call. Moreover, he can’t fully sink into his task of laundry knowing Gilbert is calling him. Not just because Gilbert will leave him voicemail after voicemail listing, in great detail, the number of sacrifices he made for Ludwig (“You’re my nation-state and baby brother,” Gilbert reminds him frequently, in a tone of voice that Ludwig secretly thinks all the former empires perfected during one of their knitting circles. It’s not as though Gilbert does that often–because he associates that kind of behavior–“uncool weak shit, Ludwig”–with Roderich or Arthur or Francis. But he’s not above it, and he has used that beleaguered self-sacrificing older brother act on Ludwig for things like not responding quickly enough to calls and/or texts or not drinking the next next round of drinks that Gilbert decided to get on a Tuesday), but also because–

“Damn it,” Ludwig sighs, looking at the detergent dribbling steadily over the rim of the little plastic cup onto his fingers. He pours some back, pours the rest in the machine, wipes his fingers on one of the sheet corners in the machine, puts down the detergent tub, and then winces because his cell phone starts ringing again.

–because Gilbert will just keep calling.  

And there’s a little notification that tells him that his brother has also left a message.

He answers. “This is a bad time,” Ludwig says, “I’m doing laundry.”

“It’s not Sunday,” comes his brother’s response. Gilbert doesn’t laugh, but his voice does kick a little higher as he teases. “First you go out with the North Americans on a weeknight, now you’re doing laundry on a Thursday–”

Ludwig sighs and turns the washing machine on. Leaning against it, he’s torn between hanging up on Gilbert or just hiding out in his kitchen and rearranging his pantry until he has to arrive at today’s afternoon session.

“And what are you doing up this early?” Gilbert sounds downright gleeful. “Did you just not go to bed? Are you still drunk? Tell me everything, Luddy. Did you help Canada steal another stop sign?”

“I made him put it back.”

“Look, Ludwig. I always encouraged you to be a leader. But sometimes you have to be a follower. Like when you don’t have any friends. When you don’t have any friends–”

“I have friends–”

“Three of them are dogs, and they’re with me in our ancestral home.” Ludwig starts rearranging his pantry and chooses not to have Gilbert elaborate because their ancestral home changes on Gilbert’s mood. Sometimes it’s a cottage, sometimes it’s a park, sometimes it’s a bar. It occurs to him, unfortunately, only later, that maybe Ludwig should have changed the subject and asked just where Gilbert was just to avoid this entire conversation and–

Keep reading

I am getting so disgusted with the supercorp fandom. I used to love being a part of it but now

It’s getting horrible. We have this victim mentality that makes people think they are justified in behaving in the most vile and disgusting way. Instead of quashing the trolls we are celebrating them. Even though I have very limited minutes now and can barely go on tumblr I have still seen several of what I though were decent blogs that I follow repost toxic trolls. It’s getting disgusting. We already had a bad history but now it’s getting so much worse . And every time someone tries to call us out people immediatly start whining “ but the cast were mean mehh”. What the cast has done may have been thoughtless but what we are doing is infinitely worse and we are doing with clear and intentional malice.
We don’t deserve any positive attitude from the cast anymore. We don’t deserve Katie’s kindness and understanding, we don’t deserve David’s background pictures , we don’t deserve anything. We have become horrible people and I am ashamed at what we have turned into
If anyone in the cast is reading I am sorry. Our fandom started as an amazing and supportive place and it still has many wonderful people. But the vile horrible trolls have tainted us and growing stronger and stronger infecting more people who think it’s ok and justifiable to behave like a vile pathetic troll( lol right? It’s just a big joke) I wouldn’t blame you for protecting yourself by writing our whole fandom off. I just want to tell you that I am sorry. We should have fought harder for the heart of our fandom. We should have been better

Chris Evans Fic: Outnumbered (1 of 2)

A touch of angst in amongst the fluff in the ‘Four Kids’ verse. It was requested so here it is! Part 1 of 2.

***

You were ready to curl yourself into a ball and scream. Scream and scream until the whole of Boston could hear you but everyone left you alone and you could hear nothing but silence.

You loved all your children dearly but they were pushing you to the edge today. Worst of all, you were completely by yourself as your darling husband was at the Patriots game with his friends and as you stood in the utility room (with the door closed so you could have a minute to yourself) of your Boston home, shovelling yet more vomit-covered clothing and bed sheets into the washer, you don’t think you could have hated him more.

Keep reading

In wondering why Americans are afraid of dragons, I began to realize that a great many Americans are not only anti-fantasy, but altogether anti-fiction. We tend, as a people, to look upon all works of the imagination either as suspect or as contemptible.

‘My wife reads novels. I haven’t got the time.’
‘I used to read that science fiction stuff when I was a teenager, but of course I don’t now.’
‘Fairy stories are for kids. I live in the real world.’

Who speaks so? Who is it that dismisses 'War and Peace,’ 'The Time Machine,’ and 'A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ with this perfect self-assurance? It is, I fear, the man in the street – the men who run this country.

Such a rejection of the entire art of fiction is related to several American characteristics: our Puritanism, our work ethic, our profit-mindedness, and even our sexual mores.

To read 'War and Peace’ or 'The Lord of the Rings’ plainly is not 'work’ – you do it for pleasure. And if it cannot be justified as 'educational’ or as 'self-improvement,’ then, in the Puritan value system, it can only be self-indulgence or escapism. For pleasure is not a value, to the Puritan; on the contrary, it is a sin.

Equally, in the businessman’s value system, if an act does not bring in an immediate, tangible profit, it has no justification at all. Thus the only person who has an excuse to read Tolstoy or Tolkien is the English teacher, who gets paid for it. But our businessman might allow himself to read a best-seller now and then: not because it is a good book, but because it is a best-seller – it is a success, it has made money. To the strangely mystical mind of the money-changer, this justifies its existence; and by reading it he may participate, a little, in the power and mana of its success. If this is not magic, by the way, I don’t know what it is.

The last element, the sexual one, is more complex. I hope I will not be understood as being sexist if I say that, within our culture, I believe that this anti-fiction attitude is basically a male one. The American boy and man is very commonly forced to define his maleness by rejecting certain traits, certain human gifts and potentialities, which our culture defines as 'womanish’ or 'childish.’ And one of these traits or potentialities is, in cold sober fact, the absolutely essential human faculty of imagination…

But I must narrow the definition to fit our present subject. By 'imagination,’ then, I personally mean the free play of the mind, both intellectual and sensory. By 'play’ I mean recreation, re-creation, the recombination of what is known into what is new. By 'free’ I mean that the action is done without an immediate object of profit – spontaneously. That does not mean, however, that there may not be a purpose behind the free play of the mind, a goal; and the goal may be a very serious object indeed. Children’s imaginative play is clearly a practicing at the acts and emotions of adulthood; a child who did not play would not become mature. As for the free play of an adult mind, its result may be 'War and Peace,’ or the theory of relativity.

To be free, after all, is not to be undisciplined. I should say that the discipline of the imagination may in fact be the essential method or technique of both art and science. It is our Puritanism, insisting that discipline means repression or punishment, which confuses the subject. To discipline something, in the proper sense of the word, does not mean to repress it, but to train it – to encourage it to grow, and act, and be fruitful, whether it is a peach tree or a human mind.

I think that a great many American men have been taught just the opposite. They have learned to repress their imagination, to reject it as something childish or effeminate, unprofitable, and probably sinful.

They have learned to fear it. But they have never learned to discipline it at all.

—  Ursula K. Le Guin, from Why Are Americans Afraid of Dragons? (1974)
Why Are We Still Hurting Dogs?
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This is very unlike me, but I need to vent.

I was browsing Instagram and came across a picture of an adorable, fat-faced pit bull (not pictured). “Oh! How cute. But what’s all of that…”

I enlarged the photo to see a dog wearing a flat collar, a shock collar, and a prong collar (leash clipped to the prong). I notice who posted the picture… a local well-known dog trainer who is extremely outspoken regarding his use of and promotion of punishment-based training methods.

The dog was available for adoption. He was labeled as trained, dog and kid friendly, and food motivated.

So I’m over here, desperately struggling to understand… WHY are these devices necessary?!

Did the dog jump on or bite at people? That can be corrected without pain.

Did the dog steal food from the garbage or off the counters? That can be corrected without pain.

Did the dog react violently towards dogs, skateboarders, or any other stimuli while on leash? That can be corrected without pain.

Did the dog growl or bite when removed from the couch? That can be corrected without pain.

Seriously. All of it. And way, way more. If we can train a hyena to present itself for a voluntary blood draw, a whale to pee in a cup, or an African wild dog to “smile” for tooth brushing without painful training methods, there is simply no comprehensible reason that these methods will not work for your pet. Force-free / humane / positive / progressive (whatever you care to call them) training methods DO work, and proof is plainly available for those who care to see it.

It’s at about this point that I frequently hear, ‘well, if you don’t like punishment-based methods, don’t use them. They’ve always worked for my dog’.


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It’s really not that simple. For starters, I often need to fix dogs that are emotionally crippled by punishment-based trainers. Additionally, this attitude perpetuates the belief that when it comes to dog training, “there’s no one right way”. Or that “different methods work for different people”. To an extent, that’s absolutely true. But when you motivate a dog with an electric shock and I motivate a dog with a piece of dehydrated liver, my way of training isn’t different. It’s better.

When your idea of behavior modification is setting a dog up to fail and then holding it on it’s side until it can hardly breathe, but mine is setting a dog up for success and rewarding it for appropriate behavior, my way of training isn’t different. It’s better.

When your training practices rely on thoughts, theories and beliefs which have been debunked by decades worth of behavioral and ethological research, but my mine are the result of over a decade’s worth of strategic research based upon the most up-to-date scientific data available, my way isn’t different. It’s better.

And to those who believe that humane methods are fine for 'soft’ dogs and puppies, but that these tools are necessary for “extreme” cases (animal killers, “red zone dogs”, whatever)… join the club. That’s what I thought, too. Now I understand how preposterously backwards that line of thinking is. If you have to tell a dog “hey, don’t attack that thing – or else!”, you are essentially walking a loaded weapon around and hoping that the safety is on. Prong and shock collars do not correct aggression in any way… they suppress it. This is why so many punishment-based trainers view themselves as being the last option for dogs. If punishment doesn’t work, it is made more extreme until the dog: a) submits to a state of learned helplessness and gives up, or b) refuses to stop fighting for its life (or, in other words, stops 'acting aggressively’). It is at this point that many trainers will deem a dog beyond help and suggest euthanasia.

Yes, humane training methods work for aggressive dogs. If you don’t believe me, at least listen to Jim Crosby. Jim is the only expert in the world who routinely consults with dogs who have killed human beings. He does his consultations in neck-to-ankle Kevlar. He is a leading authority on extremely aggressive dogs, and he is also a staunch supporter of force-free training.

“Unwarranted aggression is an undesirable behavior pattern that needs to be redirected. Redirection can definitely be accomplished by using praise and cookies. I do it every day. Interrupt the unwanted behavior-before it becomes an avalanche-and redirect the behavior to an incompatible behavior. Reinforce (with praise, cookies, etc). Rinse and repeat.”

He isn’t the only one who does it, folks. The American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior, the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants, the Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainers, and many more organizations are filled with thousands of people – applied animal behaviorists, veterinary behaviorists, certified professional dog trainers and beyond – who treat aggressive dogs without the use of shock or prong collars (or anything else designed to cause pain or fear). If they can successfully change the behavior of pet dogs without utilizing methods that are painful or frightening, why can’t anyone else?

The fact is: anyone can. I do not know why some people cling to certain concepts with unrelenting persistence. I suspect that it has a lot to do with ego, and a refusal to admit that there may be a better way than what they already know. But seriously… enough is enough. We know better. Start doing better.


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We bring these animals into our homes with full knowledge of their innate drives, desires and follies. We acquire dogs knowing that they may bark at other dogs, or dig in the yard, or discover treasure in the garbage. Yet some people still treat these behaviors and others like them as criminal offenses which need to be punished severely.

Stop. Train your dogs. Meaning, take time out of your day to actually show them what you want from them. Drop the ridiculous expectations. Dogs aren’t psychic, and do not deserve to be hurt because they don’t understand our rules.

To the trainer of the adorable, porky black pit bull who is apparently so out of control as to require three collars (two of which are designed to inflict pain): Send him over to me. That garbage is straight-up unnecessary, and I’ll show you myself if you’re struggling to believe it.

Stop looking for excuses to hurt dogs.

There is no justification.

If I see the “Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, therefore she was fat and everyone still thinks she is gorgeous” argument again I swear to God I will scream.

Marilyn was a size 16 by 1950’s standards. Sizing has changed dramatically since then, (and is still changing with the trend for vanity sizing, so fatties feel better about themselves), but these measurements show exactly how slim she was.

Fatties need to stop claiming Marilyn as one of them and face facts; she was a fit, healthy woman who was very slim but still curvy. PSA for lurking fatties; curvy means an hourglass shape with an attractive hip to waist ratio NOT one giant globe shape. If you cannot see your genitalia when you look down because your FUPA is in the way you are not curvy you are revolting.

Just stop with the attempts at self-justification and the pathetic excuses. It is proven that to lose weight all you need to do is reduce your calorie intake; not starve, not spend hours at the gym, just put the fork down FFS. Its not a difficult concept.

Moonstruck: Our Statement on Howard Chaykin’s “Divided States”

In the the first issue of Howard Chaykin’s Image Comics series “The Divided States of Hysteria,” a trans woman sex worker is outed and experiences intense violence because she is trans. We believe there is no story justification great enough to excuse this brutal, ignorant scene, and there is certainly nothing that could justify Chaykin’s derision of those who felt hurt by his book.

More recently, Image revealed Chaykin’s cover for issue #4 of “Divided States,” which depicts an atrocious, violent hate crime against a Pakistani man. This cover is utterly stomach-turning and inexcusable, but we are heartened by the news that Image and Chaykin released a joint statement recanting the cover and apologizing, saying that they will not be publishing it after all. We commend them for this action.

However, we think that there is still work to be done. After reading Image’s statement about the retraction of their obviously horrific cover, we can’t help but wonder why the outcry about the book’s trans panic scene didn’t illicit a similar response, and we are troubled by it.

There is an obvious pattern here: a pattern of sensationalizing hate crimes, a pattern of using minorities as props meant to shock white/cis people, a pattern of refusing to acknowledge the harm that these depictions do to their respective communities. Violence against trans women is an appalling, widespread, real life epidemic; invoking images of these acts without any reverence or weight or care for real-life individuals who experience this type of violence is unacceptable.

While Chaykin’s heart and politics may be in the right place, our current political climate and cultural landscape demand that allies listen and understand minority voices and viewpoints. There may have been a time when including minorities in literally any context may have been seen as cutting edge, but today, trans people are seeing the stories of their traumas used for shock value, rather than as an avenue for empathy. It is necessary for creators to take more nuanced and thoughtful approaches to these stories, and we hope our concerns will be taken to heart.

We are also disappointed in Image’s reaction, specifically, to this issue. To paraphrase Desmond Tutu, “being neutral in the face of injustice is indistinguishable from siding with the oppressor,” and in that way, it is impossible to call Image blameless, despite their general hands-off, no-editors approach.

That being said, the setup that allows Chaykin’s book to exist is the same one that allows “Moonstruck” (an all-ages/YA book with tons of LGBTQ characters of color and with an all-queer, non-male core creative team) to exist, as well as the many other wonderful Image books that, like ours, may not have found a home elsewhere. It’s a double-edged sword, and it’s not fair, but it’s the truth. Genuinely, we are lucky and happy to be an Image book, and that is why we are going to actively fight for Image to be a more socially responsible company.

So how do we move forward? In three ways:

1. We continue to work on “Moonstruck,” which is as warm and LGBTQ-friendly and chock-full of characters of color as it gets. We think it’s a good book, and we think it’s a good addition to the LGBTQ canon as well as the Image canon. Now, more than ever, it is important to us that we put positive content into the world.

2. We will do what we can to effect change within Image itself so that in the future, books like “Divided States” aren’t even considered for publication. We invite Chaykin and anyone else who works for or at Image to attend a Trans 101 webinar hosted by an LGBTQ community center and paid for by the Moonstruck team. In a productive conversation we had with Image publisher Eric Stephenson, he wholeheartedly endorsed this webinar and has been nothing but enthusiastic about attending and urging others to attend. We hope to start an ongoing conversation about responsible representation in Image comics. Furthermore, per Eric, Image is currently seeking out additional cultural competency training, which we agree is a positive step.

3. We implore Image to pledge to hire more trans people and people of color for their staff and pledge to actively reach out to and recruit trans creators and creators of color. Allowing minority communities to tell their own stories is the best way to ensure that this outdated brand of sensationalism never rears its ugly head again, to say nothing of the importance of allowing minority voices to be heard in an industry that has a history of ignoring and silencing them. In talking to Eric Stephenson, we are confident that this is something that Image is very interested in pursuing, and we personally pledge to contribute to and support their efforts however we can.

“Moonstruck” is one of a small handful of Image Comics book with queer creators. Because of our unique position in this conversation, we feel it is our responsibility to hold our publisher accountable in an effort to make Image the progressive, inclusive, actually boundary-pushing company that we know it can be.

Image occupies an important corner of the comics world. It is unspeakably nice to be a part of a publishing community that allows comics creators to take big risks and to keep most of their books’ profits. It isn’t a perfect community, but it’s one that we care about and one that we are determined to improve.

Grace Ellis

Shae Beagle

Laurenn McCubbin

The self-esteem myth [that an abuser inflicts abuse due to low self esteem] is rewarding for an abuser, because it gets his partner, his therapist, and others to cater to him emotionally. Imagine the privileges an abusive man may acquire: getting his own way most of the time, having his partner bend over backward to keep him happy so he won’t explode, getting to behave as he pleases, and then on top of it all, he gets praise for what a good person he is, and everyone is trying to help him feel better about himself!

Certainly an abuser can be remorseful or ashamed after being cruel or scary to his partner, especially if any outsider has seen what he did. But those feelings are a result of his abusive behavior, not a cause. And as a relationship progresses, the abusive man tends to get more comfortable with his own behavior and the remorse dies out, suffocated under the weight of his justifications. He may get nasty if he doesn’t receive the frequent compliments, reassurance and deference he feels he deserves, but this reaction is not rooted in feelings of inferiority; in fact, the reality is almost the opposite….

—  Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Spring Day [2]

Summary: Jimin and you were best friends since you were little kids, never leaving each other’s side, but one rainy day of spring you left him, asking him to forget about you. You were trying to protect him from yourself, but he didn’t know that. What will happen if fate got you two back together?

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Fantasy, Vampires, Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Blood, mentions of death

Word Count: 2.3k       

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 //Part 5


Turning back into reality, once your sight became normal again you brought yourself up and looked at Namjoon. He was confused by the sudden change in you.

Your face turned and you searched for someone you hoped you didn’t see. But you did. Your jaw clenched as you observed him talking with another guy, wearing his suit. You suddenly wanted to hug him; you wanted to say everything you couldn’t say that spring day under the rain, but the only thing you managed to say was:

“Jimin”


“Do you know him?” Namjoon asked tilting his head as he changed position to put the box on the table next to him.

“What do you mean? Do you know him?” You turned your head again, conscious of the sweat forming in your palms every second that you stayed there knowing that Jimin was only some meters away from you. Plus the scent still got your head spinning.

Namjoon laughed, too loud for your liking, you didn’t want any attention drawn to you, and especially not his attention. “Why wouldn’t I know the president of the company I work for? Are you crazy?”

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harrison most likely liked that picture (at first) because his best friend is spider-man and it’s a spider-man meme, but considering he (had to have) read it and didn’t unlike it/apologize for a misunderstanding (if there was one), just speaks to his character. i’m disappointed. there’s no excuse or justification; engaging in a post joking about domestic abuse, or abuse in general, is disgusting and immoral.