no just let me curl in corner and sob


Request by Anonymous: “I think a Steve x plus size reader would be nice”

A/N: Thanks for your impute/ request!  After writing this, I actually would like to write a fic about an underweight!reader x Bucky.  Also, I think you should listen to this song by Mary Lambert before you read. Enjoy all my beautiful readers!

Steve x plussize!reader

Word count: 2227 (way longer than I anticipated)

Summary:  When (Y/N) is feeling insecure, she stops acting like herself.  Steve always takes notice.

Warnings: self-hate, self-depreciation, angst, sad reader, fluffy ending!

(Picture and GIF not mine)

Originally posted by capsteverogers-things

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Run (Jungkook x Reader, pt 20)

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  *20*  21  22  23  24  25

“You heard me. You spend all your time on her,” he points at you. “You take her to your own apartment when you know damn well there are safer places to be. I’ve seen the way you look every time you come back. You smile more often, for god’s sake, I think I even heard you laugh the other day. That doesn’t just happen, Kookie.” He turns his head to look at you, pausing and examining you for a second before going back to Jungkook. “And now you’ve fucked her too. And if I know anything about you, which I do, you don’t just do that. So look me in the eyes and tell me you just want her because she’s useful, that you don’t just want her.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen and then narrow sharply, and he grabs Jimin’s arm violently, but it doesn’t deter the orange haired man, who just steps closer to him, still glaring.

“Do it, Kookie. Tell me. Tell me the truth.”

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#83 Stockholm Syndrome/Lima Syndrome:

Stockholm Syndrome: Feelings of trust or affection felt in certain cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor

Lima Syndrome: An inverse of Stockholm syndrome, in which abductors develop sympathy for their hostages.

Side note: They’re not famous in this one

Louis: “Please, please just let me go home,” You sobbed, it had been only 3 days since this mysterious man had taken you away from your apartment and you wanted nothing more than to just return back home and forget that this ever happened. “I promise that I won’t tell anyone about this, about you! I just want to leave.” The man crouched down beside you as you were curled up in the corner of the poorly-lit room that didn’t seem to have any windows. He seemed to be completely calm as he ran his hand along your cheek in a calming fashion, though all it did was make you flinch but the man either ignored that or chose to overlook it. “You can’t go. I’ve heard that ‘I won’t tell anyone’ thing before and I know that it’s just a façade in order for me to give into them. I’ve fallen for that once and I can’t let you go, baby. I chose you for a reason and I’m never gonna let you go, baby girl. You’re mine now.”

Liam: “You need to eat.” Liam huffed, pushing the plate in front of you. You simply shook you head, looking anywhere but at him despite the fact that his stare was burning a hole into you. “You’re making this so fucking difficult, y/n!” Liam yelled and his sudden eruption caused you to jump. “I’m trying to help you! The others don’t give a fuck whether you eat or not but I do! I don’t want you to fucking starve to death like some of the girls before you. So fuck it, if you don’t wanna eat then don’t but I’ll be back in here later to bring you dinner. I’m not going to let them hurt you, y/n, I just wish that you’d believe me and actually start to trust me because, right now, I’m your only chance of surviving.” He stomped out of the room and your eyes flickered to the food. It was your favorite and it did look extremely appetizing considering that you hadn’t eaten in almost 2 whole days. What’s the worst that can happen, you thought as you hungrily dug into the plate of food.

Zayn: “Don’t make me regret bringing you outside today.” Zayn growled, his arm wrapped tightly around you waist to make sure that you wouldn’t make a break for the nearest exit. Little did Zayn know, you wouldn’t have escaped him even if you had the chance to. You were incredibly thankful that he was kind enough to bring you to the mall with him today and you wouldn’t cause any type of scene because you’ve grown quite used to being around Zayn and, through the months of being along with him, he has soften up and, in a way, you’ve seen the true Zayn. He wasn’t exactly what you’d believe someone who basically abducted you off the streets, no, he seemed like a normal boy you’d meet at school and you’d grown a soft spot for the man who had abducted you. “Can we stop at McDonalds before we continue shopping,” You mumbled, unsure if you were talking to the sympathetic Zayn or the cold hearted one. “I’m hungry.” “Yeah, yeah, but we gotta be quick so that no one recognizes you from those news reports…”

Niall: “And this is my girlfriend, Marissa.” Niall said to the police man and you made a mental note to remember that he called you Marissa so you didn’t screw it up late on and blow your cover. “I’d like to speak with her for a moment.” The man’s eyes never left you and it was obvious that he recognized you from something; he just couldn’t quite remember where he saw your face before. Niall nodded to the man, sending you a knowing look as if to say, you can do it, baby, just like we practiced. “So…” The police man paused, as if he was waiting for you to say your name that way he could catch you in a lie. He could tell that something just wasn’t right here and he was determined to figure out was that thing was. “Marissa.” You confidently said and continued the conversation with the man for almost half an hour and the police man completely fell for your little act before both you and Niall escorted back out. “Sorry for the trouble, you two. Have a good rest of the day!” “That was so fucking close,” Niall said as soon as the police man drove off and you two were in the clear once again. “But you did so good, princess.” Niall said affectionately, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you to lean on his chest. “He didn’t suspect a thing.” You grinned, glad that you made Niall proud of you for your little show. He didn’t even suspect that you were that lost girl on the news who had, since the abduction last May, now formed a relationship with her abductor.

Harry: “They’re onto me, y/n. You need to pack your shit because we need to leave here.” Harry was visibly distraught as he sped around the room, throwing important items into the bag as you were sprawled out on the king sized bed. “But I don’t wanna go,” You whined. “I just started getting used to it here and now you’re making me leave.” You pouted and Harry deeply sighed, sitting down next to you on the bed, causing you to sit up to be closer to him. Harry instantly pulled you to sit on his lap and nuzzled his head into your neck and it was hard to believe that this soft and cuddly man had once stole you away from your normal life and kept you as his own little prisoner. “I know, baby, but we’ve got to. I’ll make sure that our home with be twice the size of this one. Hell, I’ll even let you pick where we go next. I don’t care where we go to as long as you’re with me.” You sighed because you were going to miss this place but if you wanted to spend any more time with Harry, you were going to have to leave but the only thing that truly matters is that you’d still be with Harry.

Once The Swan Has Sung

Once The Swan Has Sung

Characters/Pairings: endverse!Dean x Reader, Sam, Lucifer, Cas

Summary: In which it’s after the end, and you and Dean accidentally convince each other there’s still hope.

Word Count: 1986

Warnings: Major character death, violence, mentions of torture, possession, angst, slight implied smut (there’s one line where it’s mentioned).

a/n: I rewatched Swan Song (like that was a good idea) and then I kept thinking about an endverse idea I had, then modified it. I apologize profusely in advance.

Originally posted by lets-take-a-howl

Yes!” Dean screams into the air. “Yes. Please!

You watch from outside the cabin you share with him and the former angel as Dean cries out for Michael to take him. The porch is cold against your feet, and the scratchy blanket doesn’t do much to keep in the heat. Dean needs to come inside before he catches hypothermia, but you don’t have the heart to call him back in.

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  • Raven: Hey Add, what game are you playing?
  • Add: It's a game called Mystic Messenger
  • Raven: Are you sure you want to play that game? The feels rating is very high
  • Add: I'll be fine
  • A few hours later
  • Raven: Hey Add, how's th-
  • Add: *laying curled up in the corner of his room crying*
  • Raven: Let me guess, the feels are too much?
  • Add: *nods while sobbing*
  • Raven: I tried to warn you, but did you listen? No
Jealous // Gally

° 300 followers!! Sorry for any mistakes, I didn’t edit before I posted. °

Warnings : Violence, Swearing.


For a year and a half I had dated Gally without disruption. Without anyone getting in the way of our love for one another.

Until she came.

Teresa. Since the first day she had woken up, she had been all over Gally. Always by the Builders, always sitting by him, and always touching him. It had been going on for a week. I had been ignoring Gally for 3 days.

Newt and I were sitting in the Med Jack hut, talking quietly about Teresa. I was ready to shove her in the Maze, watching her bend in front of Gally like she was.

“She’s doing it in purpose, Y/N,” Newt muttered, running a hand through his blonde locks.

“But Gally shouldn’t be responding like he is,” I snapped, kicking my foot childishly against the bed.

Newt shook his head.

“You’re right.”

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair in distress as I held back the tears that welled in my eyes.

“Hey, come here, love,” Newt said gently, pulling me into his arms.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, tears dropping onto his shoulder as he fingers ran across my back comfortingly.

“You know I got you,” he muttered. “What can I do?”

“Talk some sense into him.”


I strut across the Glade to the fire pit that night beside Newt, Thomas, and Minho, laughing at something Thomas had said. My eyes automatically floated to Gally, who was sitting by Teresa, as usual. My fists clenched at my side but Newt patted my back sympathetically, pulling me over to the usual seat of himself.

“He’s just being stupid,” Minho remarked to us three, glaring at Gally.

Teresa was inching closer and closer to him, causing my blood pressure to rise. I watched as she leaned in closer and closer until her lips were almost on his, when I bolted up and smashed my fist into her nose. She fell backward, scream leaving her lips as she toppled off the log. I stepped over the log and straddled her, repeatedly smashing my fist into her nose. After a few more seconds, I was yanked off of her and dragged off, smirking at her bloodied face.

“Stay the fuck away from him!” I shouted, resisting against the Gladers carrying me away.

The Gladers all stared in shock at me, hardly believing that level headed Y/N could do such a thing. Gally was helping Teresa up and suddenly everything I just felt vanished and jealousy and saddness panged my heart.

“She deserved it,” Alby muttered as he showed me into the Slammer.

I shrugged and settled in the corner, curling my knees to my chest and letting out a quiet sob. I was alone for a long time, tears rolling down my face, nothing stopping them. The bonfire had ended as soon as I had attacked and everyone had gone to sleep.

It hurt that Gally hadn’t come to me. I was always there for him if he lashed out or needed guidance, but where was he now that I needed him? With Teresa? My heart clenched and I began to shake. I siddenly felt more alone than ever, every insecurity resurfacing. After a few more moments of tears, they stopped and everything was silent and dark.

A bobbing light headed my way slowly, making it’s way to my cell before it stopped a few feet away from me. I didn’t look up as I heard them set the torch against the side of the cell and sit cross legged in front of the door.

“I’m sorry.”

I let out an icy, dry laugh.

“Fuck you,” I snapped, wrapping my arms tighter around my knees.

“You don’t mean that,” Gally said gently.

“Just like you didn’t mean to let her get all over you?” I snapped venomously.

His eyes drifted down to his hands.

“I never meant it to go that far. I just wanted to help her fit in.”

“I love you so much, why the hell do you hurt me so badly?” I said softly, running my fingers over my bloody knuckles. “She fucking deserved every punch that I gave her and I don’t regret it one bit. You’re mine and some slut isn’t going to change that, no matter what you fucking think. You don’t get to just hop from me to her, so take your pick right now or I swear I’ll do the same to you.”

In my white rage, I had stood and angrily made my way to the door, inches from my lover’s face.

“You think this is a choice?” He asked, voice so calm it scared me.

He reached through the bars, cupping my face gently in his hands.

“It’s always been you, no matter how blind I might be sometimes. I love more than anything I’ve ever known and I need you more than you know. You’re my support system, my backbone, my everything. I live you so much. She’s nothing, you’re everything.”

A tear dropped onto my cheek and his finger brushed it away.

“I’ll always choose you.”

His brought my face to his, connecting our lips. I had missed the passion and love in our kisses, wishing to always be with him. I wished to be closer to him, but unfortunately, I had lashed out, earning my place in The Slammer.

“You should pound people in more often,” he said against my lips.


“Watching that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen you do.”

I can see Allison and Stiles being really close friends ok

Ok imagine after Allison and Scott broke it off with each other in the season 2 finale, Stiles came over to Allison’s house. Stiles, having lost his mom to death, knew how hard of a time Allison was having. Even though Allison basically kidnapped Boyd and Erica and let him be kicked by a geriatric old guy, he knew the real Allison, the one that wasn’t driven by loss. He came up to her front door and rang the doorbell and her father answered suspiciously but let him in. He took a look around at the house in disarray and then found Allison’s room, knocking on her door. When she said it was open she frowned at stiles because with Stiles came Scott.

Stiles raises his hands and simply said, “Scotty’s not with me, I just came to talk to you”. She eyed him suspiciously before sitting up in her bed, making room for him to sit next to her. Once he was settled, he turned to her and just came out with it: “I’m not mad at you for what happened to me and Erica and Boyd…I could never possibly say I understand how you must be feeling after what happened with your mom, but i can understand acting on the pain of loss and I just wanted you to know if you needed someone to talk to about it, I’m here for you. Even if you and Scott aren’t together anymore. I’d like to think we could be friends, especially with all the sneaking around I’ve done for you two.”

She was taken aback by his words, her doe brown eyes widening and sat there for a few moments, unsure of how to respond. She felt numb to any emotion other than surprise but she nodded nonetheless. “I’m sorry about what happened. It wasn’t me and I’m Sorry for doing that to you and them. Thanks stiles. I’ll let you know if I want to talk about it…” She trailed off, the silence almost deafeningly loud around the two until stiles got the hint and stood up, pulling out a chemistry book from his bag and waved it with a sour expression.

“You mind if we work on chemistry for a little while? Harris hates how I do the problems even if I get the right answer. Maybe he won’t hate it if he knows I’m working with someone he doesn’t hate.” He flashed am unsure smile, not sure if he’d overstayed his welcome or not and waited for her answer.

Allison stared at him, wanting him to leave but deciding last minute that she shouldn’t wallow in her room forever. She was strong and she could make it through this. She heaved a small sigh and pasted a soft smile on her face and nodded, “I guess Harris can’t hate you for trying to change, even though you do provoke him sometimes.” She joked weakly, reaching for her book bag and pulling out her chemistry notes and the latest assignment for the class, long forgotten in the boss battle with Jackson and Gerard.

Stiles, of course, sputtered and flailed his arms in protest. “I don’t provoke him! I just breathe and he thinks I’m trying to lecture him on his methods of teaching, which are extremely questionable and shitty.”

Allison chuckled, replying, “That’s what I mean! You provoke him by existing.” Stiles sent her a rueful smile and they started in on their homework in a companionable silence, save for the suggestions of what to do in this chemical equation.

AND OF COURSE A FEW WEEKS LATER WHEN ALLISON IS HAVING A BAD TIME WITH HERSELF AND SHE IS REMINDED OF HER MOTHER AND ALL THAT WENT DOWN SHE HAS A FULL PANIC ATTACK AND DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO CONTROL HERSELF! So With shaking fingers she pulls out her phone and stares at Lydia’s number. She knows that Lydia and Jackson are huddled in their room, making up for lost time and whimpers, moving to Scott. She almost called him but she needed her space from him, knowing she was too vulnerable to be around Scott without her resolve shaking. Instead she finds herself dialing stiles’ number, her eyebrows furrowed as she waited for Stiles to answer.


Allison composed herself and tried to speak but her words were forced behind the sob wracking her body. Her father wasn’t around, instead trying to salvage the company he owned. “Stiles, can I take you up on your offer?”

It takes stiles a while to remember what the hell she’s blubbering about (literally) before recognition sparks his tone. “Yeah I’ll be right over. Chocolate, a movie, and quality Stilinski ears coming right up.” And with that the call ended and Allison was left wondering if she should regret her decision to call stiles.

Stiles showed up fifteen minutes later holding a bag of Hershey kisses and comedy films. Allison raised her eyebrow at the movies to which stiles replied with, “Nobody should watch sad movies when they’re sad, even though that’s all the actually want to do. And chocolate, I shouldn’t have to explain.” And with that he pushed into the living room, trudging into her kitchen and pulling out some refreshments and sauntered back to her room, Allison silently watching as stiles took over her house. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it, following stiles up to her room when he was settling himself comfortably and pulling out his laptop. He set it on the bed and plugged the cord in before setting the chocolate and drinks down on the bedside table. Allison settled next to him on her bed, still feeling shaky and numb.

Stiles started mumbling to her about things as he did them, mentioning the whole life story on his computer and how the first cord he ever had with the computer was faulty but the company believed he broke it and almost charged him for a new one but his father used his sheriff-y powers of truthfulness and they got him a new cord that works. The whole time, Allison felt strangely comfortable, even though stiles never seemed to breathe.

Once the two were settled with the movie playing, Allison felt the words leaving her mouth. “How did you get over it?”

He was silent for a long time before replying. “I kinda noticed that death is something you never get over, but it’s kinda like a scar. When you first get the cut, it hurts and it’s all you can think about. You poke at it and whimper when it stings but you can’t help it. You try to cover it with bandaids but it need to be cleaned and probably dressed before you can heal. And once it heals into the scar, it never truly goes away. It’s always a reminder, always in the back of your mind when you look at the scar and remember how you got it. Over time you learn to reflect that it was once worse than it is now and that it hurt a lot more than it did before. Sometimes the wounds may reopen if you get cut again and you’re reminded of that pain you felt before, but the cycle continues. So… You can’t really get over death, you get through it, because otherwise it becomes you.”

Allison was shocked, not even knowing Stiles could be serious long enough to monologue. “When did you become so wise?”

He smiled small. “When you’re friends with scott, you kind of have to be.” He winced and mumbled, “Shit, I’m sorry, know it must be hard for you tw-”

“It’s fine, Stiles. We left it off on good terms, and I’m not angry with him.” Allison wiped at the tears that were threatening to form in the corners of her eyes. “Sometimes I feel like I’m letting death become me…” She felt the sob that she managed to contain begging to bubble out as she sputtered to explain herself. “I just miss her so much and I know nothing can bring her back! I was so stupid that night, I didn’t even realize that she wanted to tell me something, to tell me goodbye. I let her go thinking that she’d never see me again and now I never will.”

Allison curled into a ball, feeling alone in the world. Stiles froze for a second, before wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. Even though they had never been truly close, even though it was always Scott and stiles and Scott and Allison, none of that mattered now. It was just the two of them, bonded by the loss of their mothers.

“It’s not your fault, it’s never your fault. You couldn’t have known and that’s what you need to focus on. I know she would be proud to see how strong you’ve become, how you helped take down Gerard and Jackson. She wouldn’t want you to be weighed down by her death. I’ve met your mom before, she’s scary, but I know she loved you. That’s what’s important, she loved you and she is proud of you. Your dad is proud of you too. He almost mauled me a few weeks ago when I came over the first time! You don’t almost kill some skinny defenseless stupid kid if you don’t care.” He stroked her hair, hugging her tightly as she snuffled and cried.

Soon the tears lessened and she pulled her tear soaked face from between her arms. “My mom did scare away a lot of friends I had.” She barked a surprised laugh, not even sure she could laugh at anything to do with her mother anymore.

“I felt like she could ruin my life with just a glance with as much grace as a beauty pageant contestant. A great quality, something that you possess as well.” He sent her a smile, holding up a chocolate kiss. She looked at it and back at him before taking it, eating the chocolate slowly.

“You’re right, you know. I need to focus on the good things about her, not about what happened or else I’ll become death.”

And with that, there was silence during the movie.

Over the next few weeks, before Allison went to France, whenever she was feeling down, her and Stiles would hang out and they would talk about their mothers and eat candies to numb the pain. It was getting lighter, the sinking feeling, like the hand squeezing her lungs was getting weaker from its tight grip. Allison stared off into space less, ate a little more, smiled a little more, and even talked to Scott about their differences.

Sometimes stiles would ask Allison to hang out outside of her house and they’d go to a diner and eat burgers and curly fries and dip their fries into chocolate shakes. They were friendly and stiles hoped Allison thought of him a friend. He was grateful to have had Scott when his mother passed away.

Ok and Stiles and Allison text each other every now and then while Allison’s away for the summer to keep in touch.

They were there for each other when they needed to be and I just honestly see them as being good friends

When There was Me and You (Descendants Songfic 5)

By: Mod Rose🌹


    Carlos sighed, leaning back against the plain white wall of his Chemistry classroom. Currently, he had a free block, and the classroom was deserted. Thankfully, Auradonian teachers tend to leave their classroom doors open, giving him ample opportunity to break in whenever he needs to find solace in himself, away from his peers.

    It’s funny, when you find yourself looking in from the outside. He tilted his head slightly, his gaze shifting until it was pointed out the window and down to the Tourney field. There. The heart of his heartache.

    “Tourney.” He scoffed bitterly, his eyes zeroing in on the blue and yellow ocean of students that made up Auradon Prep’s over populated Tourney team. “Nothing beats Tourney, I guess.” He sighed, recognizing his Jay right away, even at such a tremendous distance. His eyesight always has been pretty spectacular.

    All he wanted was to be down there, with Jay. Making him laugh. Predicting his plays. Being his brain. He would give anything.

     He pulled his phone up, trying to figure out why he seemingly loved to torture himself like this. He pulled up his message thread with Jay, lowering the brightness so that the light wouldn’t burn his eyes so much.

    He flicked his thumb across the scene, scrolling up until he settled on a random place to begin torturing himself. Even now, he could feel the lingering sting of Jay’s curt replies as if he were receiving the messages in real time.

    Every single message he sent was responded to with short, simple replies that lacked emotion of any kind. Once upon a time, he and Jay would send each other paragraphs- mini novels really- that portrayed what they were feeling and what they wanted to get across to each other. Jay used to put some actual thought into his messages. He used to reply to Carlos’ “I love you”s with “I love you too”s. Now, all Carlos ever gets is a “u 2”. But only if Jay even bothers to respond.

    “God, why did this happen to us?” Carlos asked quietly, dropping his phone onto the counter next to him with a loud clatter. He paid it no mind- being best friends with the King means he can get whatever he wants at a moment’s notice.

    “Why do I even bother asking myself that anymore?” Carlos scoffed, his eyelashes fluttering to flick away the stray tears that were beginning to accumulate. “It was gonna happen eventually, anyways. Villains don’t get a happily ever after.” He mumbled, watching his Jay laugh and run around on the field. But then, why is Jay so happy?

    “Maybe he was never really a villain to begin with.” Carlos observed, his lips pursed into a thin, pale streak across his face.

    He glanced back down at Jay, his heart clenching painfully as he watched him flirt with the cheerleaders. “Boyfriend my ass. I barely see him.” He cursed bitterly, the words leaving a foul taste in his mouth.

    “Why did I ever let myself believe that miracles could happen? I just fucked myself over because now I have to pretend I don’t care, even though it kills me.” He whispered softly, his voice laced with anguish.

    “He was supposed to be my fairytale.” He choked, a single tear streaking down his freckled cheek. The pioneer for an entire ocean of tears.

  “He was supposed to be my day dream! My one wish upon a star! How could he do this to me?” He sobbed, sliding down the wall until he was curled up and pressed into the corner. Just like before, when he would hide away from his mother in her own closet.

    In his mind, he could still see Jay’s smile. Jay’s beautiful, twisted, heart breaking smile. It used to make him feel like he could sing along, but now, Jay changed the words. He changed the entire fucking song and left Carlos all alone, all over again. With an empty heart.

    “All I have is what used to be.” Carlos admitted to himself, his voice faint and broken.

    Now, he knows that Jay isn’t a fairy tale. He knows that dreams are made for sleeping and wishes on stars don’t come true. He can see that he confused his feelings and the truth, because he liked what he saw.

 “I really, really thought you felt it too.” He choked, shaking his head slightly. He can’t believe how stupid he was. “I miss when there was me and you.”

redninjakitty14  asked:

Hi I saw your headcanon with the kbtbb guys ans suicide (which Ive thought of same with self-harming except Ive done it) and I was wondering since your headcanon was soooo good, can you have the princes react to seeing mc about to commit suicide? thanks love~ :3 - Neko

I haven’t played BMP1, so I hope it’s okay if I can do this with the BMP2 princes T___T; 
Sure thing! 

Hayden: Hayden walked into the bedroom after a long day at the meeting, when he found you curled up in the corner of the room, sobbing silently. He took a step towards you, but froze in his tracks when he saw what you were holding. A bottle of sleeping pills. 
Hayden slowly walked over to you and took the pills out of your hand. He softly embraced you, letting you cry into his chest. 
“Hayden.. You must be disgusted at me.” you muttered, unable to look up into his eyes. 
Hayden shook his head and tilted up your chin to see you. 
“I’m not. I just want you to know that I’m going to support you.” he said, gently. 
Your eyes clouded over as another tear rolled down your cheek. 
“We can get through this.. together.”

Kuon: There was a solid minute of awkward silence when he caught you on the chair. Kuon stood there from the doorframe, looking up at you with the noose around your neck. He slowly stepped towards you with no expression on his face as he took the rope off your neck and stepped you down onto the floor. Without another word, he hugged you tightly, never wanting to let you go. 
“Kuon..” you whispered, hugging him back. 
“Please.” he whispered back. 
Kuon’s eyes darkened as he whispered his plea over and over. 
“Please don’t do this. Please don’t.” he said, finally looking into your eyes. 

Sieg: Surprisingly, Sieg was pretty calm when he saw you with a knife, about to end your life. 
“You’re not supposed to be here.” you whispered, as Sieg made his way closer to you. 
He caressed your cheek and wiped the tears away from your cheek. He tightly embraced you, making the knife drop to the floor with a clutter.
“Aren’t you horrified with me? Disgusted? Disappointed?” you asked, getting teary eyed again. 
Sieg continued to hug you, and shook his head. He moved away from you to look into your eyes. 
“I care about you so much. I want to help.” he said, as you shook your head. 
“It’s going to take a while.” you muttered. 
“I’ll wait as long as you need. I’m not giving up on you. You shouldn’t either." 

Oliver: The normally cheerful Oliver was crushed when he saw you on the roof’s edge of the castle. He ran up to you and swept you off your feet, to a safe place. 
"Oliver, stop. This is what I need to do.” you said. 
Oliver hugged you tightly, unable to let go of you. The tears that were welling up in his eyes started to fall from his eyes. 
“No you don’t. You don’t have to do this, please.” he pleaded. 
You violently shook your head as more and more tears started to fall. 
“You don’t understand, Oliver. You’re going to leave me too.” you confessed. 
Oliver’s eyes widened and narrowed in confusion. 
“I’m not going anywhere. Not today, not ever.”

Ivan: You saw Ivan’s eyes flick with anger and felt even worse than you were feeling. 
“Why? Why do you want to do this?” Ivan hissed, making you flinch. 
“I’m a burden on everything. Even you! Look at you, you’re mad at me!” you said, uncontrollably sobbing. 
Ivan softened his gaze and shook his head. 
“I’m angry at myself for making you this way.” he said, wiping your tears away. 
You shook your head and broke off from him. 
“I’m a nuisance to everyone I meet. I’m not worth anything in this world. I’m better off gone.” you whispered, telling him your true feelings. 
“I don’t know one single person that thinks that of you. You’re beautiful and amazing. You might not be able to see that, but I can. And I will not rest until you see it too." 

Aslan: Without a second to spare, Aslan was right by your side, throwing the gun aside. He suddenly hugged you and started to cry into your neck. 
"Aslan..” you whispered, unable to do anything.
He wiped your tears away and continued to cry in front of you. 
“Why..?” he asked, devastated. 
You shook your head, unable to tell him the reason you wanted to end your life. Aslan nodded, understanding that you needed time. 
“I don’t know how to fix this, but I do know one thing.” he said, looking determined. 
“I’ll do anything to make you happy again.” he said, as you looked down.
He peered into your face and tucked your hair behind your ear.
“You don’t have to be alone, okay?" 

Maximillion: You saw how heartbroken Max was when he found you trying to end your life. It felt as if he saw nothing except for you in that moment. Max kneeled down in front of you, and started to cry silently. 
”_____.. “ he called out to you. 
He reached for your hand and swiftly pulled you into his arms. You took a deep breath and started to cry into his shoulder.
"You gave me the strength to go on. To not give up.” he started to say, as you looked at him in confusion. 
“Is there any way I can give you that strength back?” he whispered, desperate to save you.
You looked uneasily at him and looked down. 
“I’ll give everything up for you. Please stay." 

Kevin: Kevin’s eyes widened at the sight of you holding a handful of sleeping pills in your hand. 
”____, what are you doing..?“ he asked, slowly making his way towards you. 
He emptied your hand, spilling all the pills onto the floor, and gently held your hand that previously held the pills. 
"When I was trying to find out who I was, you never left my side. You were strong for me, you cheered me on, and you never lost your kindness.” he said, remembering how the two of you fell in love. 
Kevin caressed your cheek and slowly wiped the tears away.
“So, I’m here for you. I believe in you, just like you believed in me.”


I hope this was what you were looking for! 
I just want to say something again. Suicide/depression/self harm/mental illness/etc. isn’t something to be looked over
If anyone is having any troubles with anything, please reach out. I understand how reaching out can be incredibly scary, but it will help. I promise you.
I have a some personal experiences with this topic, so never feel nervous to talk to me. There are a ton of people who would be happy to talk with you, and if you don’t think you have anybody, you have me
That’s all. Sorry for rambling.
Have a nice day. 

Fanzine Ficlet - Sneak Peek

bc i need some encouragement to push me to the finish line, here’s a snippet from my @johnlockfanzine ficlet:

“Wouldn’t have figured you for a beach bum,” John says, lying back propped up on his elbows, regarding Sherlock from behind brand-new Ray-Bans.

“Mm,” Sherlock says, and then, “you’re going a bit red, just there… here, let me—”

He sits beside John on the beach blanket they brought and picks up the tube of sunscreen lying off to the side. Then John doesn’t really pay much attention after that because Sherlock’s decided to not so much apply as massage sunscreen onto his chest, his shoulders, and when he sits up properly, all down the sore muscles in his back.

It’s heavenly.

He glances around lazily, taking in the young families with children splashing in the shallow waves that keep rolling in, the golden retrievers running into the water after tennis balls thrown by their owners, the ambient noise of the water and the wind and the laughter and, somewhere, pop music floating out of a portable speaker. It feels right in the way John always feels right when it’s just him and Sherlock and the rest of the world buzzing along around them, only now it’s even more, because now Sherlock is his to touch and to kiss and to fall asleep next to and wake up curled around. He lets out the happiest sigh he’s capable of and turns to lean and place a tiny sweet kiss on the corner of Sherlock’s mouth. “Thanks, love.”

Blue Neighbourhood 2/3 (AU)

Blue Neighbourhood 2/3 AU Rewrite (Language warning/kissing/homophobic slurs)

This is a spinoff/AU of the Fools Blue Neighbourhood video. I got bored and I thought it would be fun to kind of make up what happens in the parts of the video that we don’t see. I have to improvise some lines because I am awful at reading lips, but it’s an AU so deal with it. Also, we do not know Troye or Matthew’s names in the trilogy, so I use their real names!

Keep reading

The First and Last Time

Hello My Lovelies,

For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories.


                                        Request/Stand Alone
The First and Last Time

Based on this GIF set I reblogged

Authors Note:


Y/N walked into the cold, dark room. She knew there was no point turning on the light, looking at the vast emptiness in front of her. There was never any point, but it didn’t stop her. She shifted her hand to the wall and flicked the switch, staring at the once again empty bed. Her insides and heart dying just that bit more. Soon there would be nothing left but a hollow shell of her own existence.

She turned off the light and moved slowly through the bunker, as each day passed she found herself struggling to move that bit more. Each day hurt just that bit more to move, to even get out of bed.

‘Anything?’ she asked, her voice breaking.

It was the same question she asked a hundred times a day. Sam shook his head.

‘I’m sorry Y/N/N.’

‘How can he disappear? And not even bother to call?’

Y/N collapsed into the chair and buried her head into her hands. She was past caring where he was or why, she just wanted him home.

Sam looked at the woman next to him and shifted back in his chair. Y/N and Dean had grown up together. Their parent’s neighbours back before Mary died. She was the one who comforted Dean after his Mum’s death, the one that was there when things were bad with his Dad, when he was left alone and needed to talk to someone when Sammy was asleep. He’d call her. Her parent’s knew of the life and her Dad often went to help John on the more difficult cases. Her Dad had gotten her a phone for emergencies and she had used it for one purpose to keep in touch with Dean.

Not long after she turned 10, she came home from school and found her parent’s had been killed by a demon. She grabbed what she could and high tailed it to Bobby’s. It took her 3 days of walking before she got hold of Dean to tell him what happened. He called Bobby and had him drive the 500km to get her. The two were inseparable, best friends and nothing else.

Sam knew the nothing else bothered both of them. Dean didn’t think he could ever break through the “friend zone” with her. Y/N saw Dean’s way with woman and didn’t think he wanted anything serious. Sam wanted to knock their heads together. No matter how much he argued, both declared the other wasn’t interested, not like that. But times like now, more than ever, it showed.

The two watched out for each other. They always had, but as they got older Dean got more protective. While she could hold her own, easily. Y/N was no longer under Bobby’s watchful eye and she had no issue doing what it took to get the job done. Regardless of the consequences. Dean knew this and did everything possible to prevent the dumb ass results of her stupid ass decisions. For example, handcuffing her to a bed because some demon had killed kidnapped a kid, she wouldn’t have even bothered about weapons, she would have ripped him apart with her hands if that kid had of died. Following her home from the bar, because the guy she was with had a bad reputation and beating him senseless when he got too handsy with her. And then there was now…

Sam knew why Dean left, but he wasn’t going to say. He promised he wouldn’t. Y/N would lose her shit completely and get herself killed. The demon that killed her parents was back. They had been tracing it from Lawrence to here. It was following her path in life, hunting her down. Killing people that she knew. The two boys had been secretly hunting it with Bobby for the past couple of months. They got a good lead on its location two weeks ago, Dean packed up and headed out in the middle of the night and Sam stayed with Y/N making sure she didn’t go anywhere near them. The problem was it had been a week since his last contact. Sam was starting to worry. Bobby hadn’t heard anything either. They knew it wasn’t looking good.

Sam stood and walked past Y/N he squeezed her shoulder and kissed her head. He felt terrible lying to her, he hated how this was destroying her, watching her fall apart bit by bit was too much. He walked off and went to call Dean. Again.

He checked the hall outside the kitchen and pulled his cell from his pocket. Dialling his brother, he did the only thing left he could think of. Beg.

‘Dean, man. If you’re there call me, please. I’m desperate, she’s falling apart. I’m so close to joining her. Don’t make me tell her what’s going on,’ he pleaded.

Little did he know, Y/N was in the library making a similar call.

‘Dean, please call. Message, email, something. I just need to know you’re ok. I…if I did something I’m sorry. Please just tell me you’re alive. Just a message. I need to hear you’re ok. Even if it’s to tell me to get lost. Please.’

By the end of it she was sobbing uncontrollably. Making that call broke her, there was something about it that just felt ominous, something was wrong.

Sam walked back into the library and saw Y/N curled up in the corner crying.

‘Oh Princess,’ he sighed, sadly. Damn it Dean, call, he growled silently.

He went over and wrapped his arms around her and held her while she fell apart.

‘I can’t do this without him Sammy. He’s all that holds me together,’ she sobbed.

‘I know,’ Sam tried to soothe, his words falling on deaf eyes and she cried into his shoulder.

Sam ran his hand over her head, his shirt growing increasingly wet as she let it all out. Something was seriously wrong. There was no way Dean would do this, not to her. He wouldn’t ignore the messages; he wouldn’t pretend she didn’t exist. Not Y/N. If he was even running late doing a supply run, he messaged or called. She did the same with him. He couldn’t remember a time when those two hadn’t called or messaged each other regularly if they were separated. He even remembered a time he got kicked out of a girl’s apartment because he stopped right before they had sex to message Y/N and tell her he would be another few hours. Funny thing was Dean didn’t even care that night, Y/N had planned on a Clint Eastwood marathon and Dean happily joined her. Sam found the two curled up asleep on the floor with piles of blankets and pillows the next day.

Sam waited until she fell asleep before he placed her on the sofa and covered her with a blanket. Brushing the now wet bangs from her forehead as they stuck to her skin.

‘I’ll find him Y/N,’ he said softly. ‘I promise.’

He went into the next room and called Bobby, hoping he had something.

‘Sorry Sam, I got nothing. How’s Y/N holding up?’

‘She’s not. She lost it tonight. I’ve never seen her like this Bobby, even after her parents she was so strong. But this. She’s a mess. Something’s wrong.’

‘Can’t argue that. It’s not like him not to call. Especially her.’


‘I’ll pack up the car and head out your way and we can go from there.’

Sam agreed and hung up. Walking back into the dimly lit viewing room, he watched Y/N sleep for a few minutes, before going to shower. It was going to be a long night.

He walked back into the viewing room a half hour later, feeling ready to tackle the research again. He frowned when he realised Y/N was no longer on the sofa, he figured she had woken and put herself to bed. It was probably best anyway. The sofa wasn’t all that comfy.

Making a coffee he sat back down at the wooden table in the library, rolling his head he opened the folder with his notes in it. He stared at the empty yellow folder for a few minutes before things sunk in. He shot up out of the chair, knocking it over and tripping over the chair legs as he tried to run towards the bedrooms. Picking himself up off the ground, he kept running.

‘Y/N!’ he yelled, throwing her door open to find it empty.

He threw himself to the floor checking for her bag under her bed. It was gone.

‘Y/N!’ he ran towards Dean’s room screaming as he went. ‘Y/N!’

He stood in the doorway of the empty room running his hand through his hair. The cell in his pocket rang and he groaned when he looked at the caller ID.

‘Hey Bobby,’ he cringed.

‘She’s not answering, is she asleep?’

‘Ah wouldn’t know exactly.’

‘What the hell does that mean?’

‘She’s gone Bobby. I had a shower, came out the research and her are both gone.’

He heard Bobby swear and throw his phone. Sam closed his eyes and hung up. This couldn’t get any worse. Well, no that’s not true, he groaned to himself. It could if Dean showed up and found out she took off.

Sam dialled her number and listened as it rang out. He ran into the garage and found her mustang missing. He ran a hand over his face. He now had two missing hunters, both insane with fear over the safety of the other, both ready to die for the other and both unbelievably good at disappearing when they needed too. He wasn’t liking his chances of finding them.

Y/N pulled into the car park of some back water motel, it was cheap, nasty, you could smell it from the road and she swore she saw the mattress move on it’s own. That urban legend of the massage bed being filled with cockroaches that ran through it came to mind and she gagged. She was sleeping on the dining chair tonight. She deleted Sam’s calls and tried Dean again.

‘I’ve waited long enough. I’m coming to find you. You had better have a damn good reason Winchester. Because if you don’t I swear to God…’ she threatened. ‘I need you, Dean,’ she said quietly.

She was so scared that he was dead, that she had missed out on her chance to tell him how she felt, to be with him. She had plans to tell him. But something always stopped her.

She spent the night going through Sam’s papers. She knew he was hiding something but she didn’t know what. Until now…

Dean’s heart broke as he listened to the message left by his brother. It shattered completely as he listened to the messages left by Y/N, at the pain and fear in her voice, the hurt because he wasn’t responding. He listened as her tears fell, he knew just how much it took to make her cry. The message after was even worse, she needed him and he wasn’t there. He hated himself right now. He hated the monster that glared back at him.

‘Won’t be long now. She’s resourceful that Y/N. Too bad the little bitch didn’t figure it out earlier,’ the demon sneered.

That was all Dean needed. He threw himself forward towards the demon trying to loosen his chains but it didn’t work. The demon was going to pay for what he’d done. Not just to her parents, but to her. For the pain that he had caused the past couple of weeks alone.

It didn’t take Y/N long to locate Dean’s last location. It was the longest five hours of her life. It was the worst home coming she had ever had. That said, she hadn’t been home since her parent’s had died.

She prayed that the new owners hadn’t fixed the old window in the basement, the stupid thing didn’t latch when she lived here.

She gingerly wriggled the old white wooden frame, eventually releasing it and she slid through the opening. There was no way Dean was going to be able to get out that way. They’d have to go through the house itself.

Dean watched as a pair of legs slid through the window in the far south corner of the basement. He didn’t know if he should laugh, cry or scream.

Y/N moved cautiously and carefully through the basement towards Dean. He watched as her face changed from upset, to relief as he smiled at her, to pissed.

‘Find some bolt cutters and get me out of here,’ he whispered, urgently.

Y/N gently touched the large cut on his head. And moved to the back shelves where there had been a large set of cutters on the shelf she passed.

She cut his chains and then let rip.

‘You stupid son of a bitch! What the hell did you think you were doing? Do you have any idea how friggen risky this stunt was?’ she growled.

Dean stood up and looked at her.

‘Don’t get mad at me. Don’t you do that. I had to. I had to look after you. It’s my job.’

Y/N looked at the man in front of her, the pain in his face killed her. The moisture that had gathered in his eyes. He had done what he always had. What she always had.

‘It’s not your job.’

‘Oh course it is,’ he said quietly. ‘You’re my girl Y/N. I’d do anything to keep you safe.’

Y/N tried blinking back the hot tears that fell from her eyes.

‘I need you too and I can’t have you if you’re dead,’ Dean said huskily, moving in closer. Both forgetting about the danger. He pushed his hand behind her head and kissed her.

‘Where’s Sammy?’ he asked pulling back, resting his forehead on hers.


‘You ran off?’


‘Right, we get out of here. I yell at you then, then we finish this,’ he growled, kissing her again.

The kissed stopped and Dean’s grip on her hip and head grew slack. Y/N’s could taste blood on her lips. She opened her eyes and saw Dean staring at nothing. Pulling back, she saw blood dripping from his lips.

‘Dean?’ she croaked, barely above a whisper.

She caught him as he collapsed. Looking down she saw blood bubbling and pouring from his chest.

‘Dean!’ she screamed, trying to put pressure on the wound. ‘No! No! No!’

‘Hello Y/N,’ a voice sneered, moments before a boot kicked her in the face, knocking her back off her feet.

Y/N was torn, she wanted this bastard dead but she didn’t have any fight left in her. She couldn’t live without Dean. She didn’t even want to try. She heard yelling coming from upstairs. She recognised the voices. They could deal with him. She pulled the gun from her belt and shot the demon in the head, locking him into his meat suit. She watched as he screamed at her. She listened to Sam and Bobby screaming for her and Dean.

She looked over at Dean’s lifeless body on the the floor. They were back where it all started, where they met, where their lives were happy, problem and nightmare free. When it come to dying as a hunter, now was as good a time as any.

She dropped her weapons never taking her eyes off Dean. Pain ripped through her as the knife pushed into her chest. But it didn’t matter, she didn’t even flinch. She was past being able to.

‘I love you,’ she whispered to Dean for the first and last time as she slipped into a world of black.

Don’t hate me…please xx