no joke looked like a clown

anonymous asked:

"crazy detention stories"...go

They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:

  • So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
  • So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
  • Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
  • Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
  • The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
  • Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
  • It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
  • It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
  • Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
  • Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
  • One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
  • One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
  • As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
  • It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
  • Guys: It was me.
  • One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
  • There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
  • Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
  • One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
  • One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
  • One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
  • Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
  • One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
  • He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
  • One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
  • One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
  • It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
  • Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
  • Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
  • Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
  • So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
  • But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
  • So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
  • This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT
  • he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
  • The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
  • We never saw her in detention again😂
  • My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
  • This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
  • One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
  • Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
  • One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
  • I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
  • I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao
Imagine: Falling for the Joker’s Son

The clown prince gripped the steering wheel tight with one hand and kept his other on your bare thigh. His gold bracelet he inherited from his father almost made you jump at the cold touch. But he had a firm grip on you, keeping you in place.The sky was almost pitch black over Gotham besides the green lights shining from where his club was. Harley and Joker’s son and heir was carving out his own piece of history. His very own club downtown from his parents was all his, he was feeling more powerful than usual tonight. You could feel it radiating off his body… but

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Clown Emoji Ratings

A clown for all ages, makeup skill aren’t the best but I’m sure he’ll learn as his career advances. A solid 7/10

A soft boy with cold lifeless eyes. As much as I want to love him I feel like there’s a wall between us. I feel like he’d tell a hardy joke but besides that there’s not much going for this bozo. 3/10

NOW THIS, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. A very graphic young fella with solid colors and smooth lines. His eyes are a beautiful blue and his lipstick is brighter than my future. He looks like he’s great at entertaining but the humble expression on his face tells me he doesn’t like to brag about it back at clown college. I would give my all for this clown. 10/10

This young man looks like a rejected concept for Pennywise in the new IT film. 3/10

A sickly yellow paint, cold dead eyes, and a crunchy wig. This is not a clown I would like at my party. 1/10

A happy banana boy! He reminds me of a delicious twinky! This clown is in town and he definitely knows how to accessorize. That wig is also sharp and styled. 10/10

Not much to say here besides the fact that he looks like a more stylized emojipedia clown. 2/10

A fresh interesting take on The Clown. His mug is beat and he’s serving face, face, face! I’d definitely invite this boy to my parties. 10/10

How do I put this nicely? No.

Scrubs {Sentence Starters}

  • “Ahh. Uncomfortable silences and alcohol. Just like thanksgiving at home.”
  • “You have no chance of being normal.”
  • “Don’t ever be afraid to come to me with stuff like that.”
  • “A person doesn’t have to be perfect to be exactly what you need.”
  • “It’s the kid inside of us that keeps us all from going crazy.”
  • “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”
  • “Nothing’s worse than a ninja - they’re masters of every style of combat.”
  • “Have you been in the supply closet, crying?”
  • “It sounds like you’re asking me out on a man date.”
  • “There’s a good chance I’m gonna kill someone.”
  • “The only way you could be more useless right now is if you actually were the wall.”
  • “Gosh, now I’m too proud of you to be mad at you.”
  • “Relationships don’t work they way they do on television and in the movies.”
  • “Sometimes it feels like you’re holding back.”
  • “All you do is bitch about your relationships all day long!”
  • “We’re only four seconds in and I’m already regretting my decision.”
  • “I can’t believe you lost our bottle opener.”
  • “I think we both know there’s a little more to it than that.”
  • “Does this lipstick make me look like a clown?”
  • “Why don’t I ever listen to me?”
  • “Well isn’t that just the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that is my day.”
  • “Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”
  • “I can’t help but notice you love telling jokes.”
  • “Do you want to be alone?”
  • “You’re telling me that you actually made a decision that had a positive impact on your life?”
  • “Can you get that for me? I can’t reach it.”
  • “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”
  • “I refuse to be judged by a grown man wearing a hockey jersey.”
  • “That was my mistake. I keep forgetting that you’re a horrible, horrible person.”
  • “Why are you so afraid of loving me?”
  • “Do you want to cry a little?”
  • “Why do you have to jump out and scare me all the time?”
  • “What do I know about good relationships?”
  • “Newsflash! You can’t drink and then come to work!”
  • “Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?" 

So many posts about Alistair and Cullen as bb Templars together.

And yet.

None of them about them being bitter rivals. 

Alistair hating Cullen for giving up the idyllic childhood that he always wanted, in favor of a career path which he hates!  Simmering in resentment of this over-serious snot who never gets in trouble with the Sisters and is way too good at everything!

Cullen hating Alistair for looking down on his decision to join the Templars, when he had to work hard to be accepted as a mere farmer’s son! Simmering in annoyance of the jumped-up royal clown who feels entitled to disrupt everyone’s studies with his screaming and tantrums and bad jokes!

They beat the shit out of each other at the sparring grounds on a regular basis.

Years later diplomatic meetings involving the General of Skyhold and the King of Ferelden dissolve into this weird passive-aggressive sniping about petty bullshit and Josie is like, what the fuck.  Leliana gets popcorn.

Mbti Reacting To A Crying Friend ( ಥـْـِـِـِـْಥ)

INTP: … “look at that weather” … “its nice” 

INFP: “DONT WORRY ITS OK. HERE LOOK ITS THE PIC OF THAT VIRTUAL CHARACTER U LOVE SO MUCH” … “Hey but … you’ll be fine. The world is…” *goes on and on ends up having an existential crisis themselves*

INTJ: *ERROR … ERROR … ERROR*

INFJ: if you want to talk I’m here to listen … Really just take your time. You are fine really really. I’m here to listen.

ENFP: “OMG YOU ARE CRYING!! (/゚Д゚)/  OMG TEARS !! ARE YOU OK ?? Wait !!!! What am I saying?? You are crying of course you are not ok” *BIG HUGE HUG* “lets go out for a drink or something” :)

ENTP: *unconsciously cracks a joke* … *shows Memes* … *Puns* … *Cute animal pics* … … … “If you wanna talk I really don’t mind” … *more memes* … “I KNOW LETS GO GET DRUNK!!!”…. “ oh you need a hug???” … … … … … … “Fiiiine” *gives them a hug until they stop crying* … unconsciously cracks a joke again*

ENFJ : “WHO THE FUCK MADE U CRY????” (╯°□°)╯︵   “I’LL KILL THEM FOR YOU I SWEAR” … “Oh oh no no wait you’re alright”  *gives them a hug* *cracks a joke at the end*.

ESTP : “Hey don’t worry it’ll be fiiine like seriously. Please. Stop crying. Look memes. Want to join me in on a prank?? … no? WHAT DO I DO IN THIS SITUATION???”

ESFP : “YOU ARE CRYYYYING (ʘ_ʘ) . LOOK SHE’S CRYING  (/゚Д゚)/. EVERYONE SHE IS CRYING  \(*Д* \) . What to dooo???? X_X” *acts like some clown to cheer them up*

ENTJ : “well, life’s a bitch” -_-

ISFJ : “oooh dear don’t worry. You are ok. I’m here. Its fine”  *a big hug. gets them some food* (idk why don’t ask)

ISTJ: “U can always solve the problem its not the end of the world. want me to help u put out a plan??”

ISFP: (the clumsy one): “oh daamn. uuuuuh hey! i know! wanna go with me see some flowers?? its in this rly nice calm place. And um they r rly beautiful too” *gives a hug* “hey hey hey! don’t worry u can tell me whats wrong! rly … WE CAN EAT SOMETHIN’ TOO …. MUSIC IS GOOD TOO…” *ends up crying with them*  ( ಥـْـِـِـِـْಥ)

ISTP: “oh well. wanna go out for a drink?”

ESTJ: “oh…. crying…. uuh…. ok….. welp?…. want me to kick someone’s ass for you? or nah?”

ESFJ: “ TEARS! oh damn. WHO DID THIS???  oh dear. Don’t worry I’m here if you need anything”

years & years (1) - m.dl.c x reader // j.a x reader

Summary: a fight over a sandcastle sparks the beginning of a beautiful feud.  
Warnings: mentions of violence.

**

you’re five years old, and a boy with tan skin and a mess of dark brown hair kicks your sandcastle down on the first day of kindergarten. he laughs, right in your face, towering over you in khaki shorts and a dark blue polo shirt. when he turns to walk away, you stand up, taking up your plastic shovel, and crack it across the back of his head. he stumbles from the shock, and then bursts into sobs. of course, this would be when the teacher looks over - and you end up in the time out chair, arms crossed, scowling. in the corner of the room, the boy is snivelling as the teacher checks the back of his head carefully. much to the disapproval of the teacher, your father had to bite back his laughter when she rats you out at home time. as he apologises to the boy’s mother on your behalf, the boy glares at you from the safety of his mother’s side. you’re only children, but it’s the start of a war that will span years and years to come.

**

you’re eight years old, stepping up to bat for your team in a game of rounders in gym. justin foley is throwing the ball - you hit it, hard, adrenaline soaring through your veins as it flies across the field. you begin the journey around the bases, your team chanting your name the whole way. grinning wide, with the sun on your face and the wind in your hair, you feel so powerful, on top of the world - until a foot goes unnoticed, stuck out in your path, and you trip, crashing to the grass on all fours. glancing up, you meet the self-satisfied smirk of Montgomery de la Cruz, eyes shining maliciously. Getting to your feet, you’re only a few yards away from a home run, when zach dempsey touches the base with the ball. you’re struck out, and shove your way past your enemy fiercely as possible. ‘you’ll regret that,’ you mutter, stalking off the field, watching him take his spot as batter. he gets a home run first try - and is sure to throw you a triumphant smirk.

**

you’re twelve years old, just hitting that awkward stage of not-quite a child and not-quite a teenager. you’re just discovering make-up and kitten heels, alongside your best friend Sheri. these things aren’t exactly regulation, but you manage to get away with some mascara, foundation, some red lipgloss that tastes like strawberries and smells even better. you wear it into school exactly once – and montgomery hollers across the courtyard that you look like a clown, he and his friends collapsing in peals of laughter, the sound magnifying and shattering your confidence. sheri puts her arm around you and tells you not to listen,  that he probably just has a crush on you – and that in itself almost makes you laugh. because the idea of that one boy, liking you? was downright hilarious. the whole day he sneers and jokes at your expense. you keep your head held high, ignoring him, but when you get home and wipe away the makeup, tears burn and spill down your cheeks. it’s not the first time he’s made fun of you, but it’s the first time it’s felt personal.


**


you’re fourteen years old, a freshman at Liberty High. it’s an exciting time, nerve-wracking, but exciting. you feel so grown up, with a fresh backpack, plain black, a clear pencil case packed neatly with three biros of different colours, clean notepads stacked inside your locker. for the first week or so, it’s all so daunting, that you forget about montgomery de la cruz, and he seems to forget about you. you’re both busy settling in to this new and foreign enviroment, signing up for extracurriculars, making new friends. the weekend of your first high-school party is a game-changer, and it’s held at bryce walker’s house. neither you nor sheri can even believe you’ve scored an invite – bryce is a whole year ahead of you, already favourite for varsity captain, a sports legend in the hallways. you tell your parents you’re going to a sleepover at sheri’s, and the two of you sneak off in the darkness, headed towards the sound of music and fun. it’s at that particular party you meet jeff atkins, baseball player, and level ten hottie. he has the brightest eyes you’ve ever seen, and one flash of a sweet smile has you completely entranced. the majority of your night is spent in the kitchen, chatting with him, connecting on a level that is entirely new to you. nothing happens, per say, but simply standing there, feeling like it was just the two of you in that crowded room? it was almost perfect. almost, because montgomery had taken it upon himself to drag his ass over and accidentally on purpose spill his drink all down your top, nudging jeff with his elbow while making some crude joke you don’t even register. your cheeks are flaming, embarrasment swallowing you whole – then jeff shakes his head and offers you his jacket, to cover the wet spot, telling montgomery off for his actions. the look on the other boy’s face is priceless – like he’s just swallowed a lemon whole, lips twisted in a snarl, gaze heated and furious on you. jeff guides you away, and you spare a glance back at the boy who once kicked your sandcastle down, all those years ago. he’s changed, in more ways than simply getting taller– his stance is tense, eyes on fire, a muscle twitching in his jaw. he’s angry, and for a moment, your heart hurts for him. but then jeff is holding your hand, and it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world, and you forget everything that isn’t him.


a week later, you and jeff are officially dating. he waits for you outside your classes, walks you to and from your locker, loops his arm around your waist when you sit together at lunch. you’re walking on air, floating contentedly through your daily life. the one stain on an otherwise perfect tapestry is montgomery, who’s words had become sharper as he directed them towards you, nasty, awful things, that wind jeff up. they end up fighting, and it stuns you, how violent montomery could be. his fists don’t stop until zach dempsey and justin foley are hauling him back, jeff’s lip split and bleeding, montgomery’s eye already beginning to swell shut. before the principal drags them both to the office, montgomery catches your eye – there’s a moment, a strange second, where you see something you can’t quite explain between the pitch-black fury in his eyes. then, he spits out some blood, and walks away. after that, he pretty much leaves you alone – as weird as it sounds, you miss him. you miss the daily banter, the not-quite friendly, not-quite nasty feud that had been cultivated over almost ten years. you didn’t notice until he was gone, how much of a presence he’d been in your life. it saddened you to think of that stage of your path as over, but eventually, you accepted it. you were happy with jeff, your grades were steady, and soon enough, montgomery de la cruz became only a person you used to know.

5

“I learned most of what i know from trial and error and the best advice i can give is

1: don’t buy the cheap stuff! designer brands won’t cost ya if you get ‘em on five-finger discount anyway

2: wear whatever colors you like! The Brighter the better! And If people think you look like a clown, well… if your goal is to look like me, then mission accomplished, right?

3: YouTube tutorials help lots

Also I’ve heard coral blue #2 semi-gloss is the best there is as far as lipstick goes, not my all time favorite color but i recommend looking it up!”

| Stranger | Older! Chat Noir

Adrien frowned, yet again.

“Dude,” Nino raised an eyebrow, interrupting the blonde’s deep thought. “Are you planning on consuming that pencil whole?”

Adrien paused red-handed at the question. He’d been chewing on the end of said mistreated pencil for unnaturally long and flushed red, lowering it from his lips.

Nino chuckled. “What’s got you so twisted dude?”

Adrien tilted his head and Nino followed his line of vision, pushing up his glasses.

There you were.

Not too far from them, close up against the wall and almost blending into it. Your head was down in a book as usual, fingers absentmindedly twisting the strands of your hair into a mess. All that was known about you was that you were a new foreign exchange student and that your name was Y/N. Besides that, it was like you had faded into the background without so much as a trace.

Adrien found it…intriguing.

As if feeling the stare on your person you glanced up. Your eyes met Adrien’s for a split second before you purposely glanced away, your lips tugging down.

Nino whistled slowly, amused. “Well that was intentional.”

Adrien groaned, leaning back into his chair and boring holes into the ceiling. “I know. She’s been acting that way around me since she got here, and I don’t know why. Anytime I even try and start up a conversation she bolts.”

“Technically she’s like that around everyone; some chicks just can’t be fazed man,” Nino shrugged, patting his friend’s shoulder in a consoling motion. “Let it go.”

Adrien furrowed his eyebrows. He wished it was that simple, as he’d been telling himself the same thing for the past two weeks. But no matter how he tried to push you out of his head you had taken up permanent residence there with a mortgage and everything. No, there had to be something he could do.

In the middle of his contemplation someone passed by your desk, laughing at a pun they had shouted across the room. You visibly bit the inside of your cheek and giggled, before coughing into your hand.

Adrien’s eyes widened. “She likes jokes.”

“I guess,” Nino blinked, scratching the back of his neck. “So what? Are you gonna start cracking up like a clown to get her attention?”

Adrien shoved him in the side and Nino retaliated with a contagious grin, ruffling his hair.

No I’m not,” Adrien rolled his eyes. “And I can’t anyway, because, like you said, she is uncomfortable around everyone.”

Light came to his jeweled eyes as he turned to look outside the window with a concealed smile.

Bingo.

“But I do know someone who can.”

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Catch a Falling Star

Characters: CastielXReader

Word Count: 1832 (Part I)

A/N: Part I of a Soulmate AU mini-series, or as I have come to fondly refer to it, the 1K Follower Celebration request by @trexrambling with prompts for hurt/comfort, protectiveness, and reunion inspired by TKG poem #4 that outlined better for me as a series than a stand-alone drabble.

Summary: What if angels didn’t end up just anywhere when they are banished by sigils…what if sometimes they end up exactly where they need to be? Turns out you are Castiel’s grounding stone, and it’s more complicated than either of you realizes. Sparks fly when you meet a mysterious blue-eyed stranger in the most unexpected of places.

Few sensations exist in creation more unpleasant than the vision blurring stomach churning skin chaffing whirlwind spin of an angel’s vessel hurtling uncontrollably through physical space upon being banished by means of blood sigil. Few sensations, that is, save for the fireball crash landing which invariably follows such expulsions. There are archived plans for a Coney Island roller coaster gradually disintegrating in a drawer at the New York City Public Library which, if the project reached fruition, might have come close to replicating the experience. However, engineers could never work out adequate safety measures to protect the rocketing passengers from being jettisoned into oblivion at the kinetic peaks.

Castiel, like most vessel-bound wavelengths of celestial intent in his current predicament, hadn’t expected to find himself the equivalent of an angelic slingshot just now. Unfortunately, and also fortunately for him, the sensation was not entirely unfamiliar and he knew panicking would accomplish nothing. Practice taught him that accepting fate and relaxing usually made for a slightly softer landing.

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if zootopia had a gag reel
  • Flash: ...9...
  • Judy: THD03.
  • Flash: ...T...
  • Judy: HD03.
  • Flash: ...H... *his gadget crashes* ...this...is...the...third...time...this...happened...
  • Judy: *groans* I need more coffee for this scene...
  • -----
  • Gideon: Baa, baa, whaddya gonna do, cry?
  • Judy: Hey! You heard-- *her police cap slips completely over her head and she trips and falls over*
  • Gideon: ...Y'all, we'd better help her out before she actually does cry.
  • ----
  • *shortly after Mr. Manchas started going feral*
  • Judy: ...Mr. Manchas...?
  • *they open the door, finding that his tail was caught between his floorboards and he was desperately trying to get it out*
  • Mr. Manchas: ...It happened again, I know!
  • Nick: ...I don't know what I expected.
  • ------
  • Nick: ...Carrots. You saved my life.
  • Judy: Well, that's what we do at ZPD--EEEEEYAGH--
  • *they start falling, but the vines had been long enough that they were cocooned and still hit the ground with a loud thud*
  • Bogo: *rushes towards them* That--wasn't part of your act, right?
  • Nick: *visibly dazed* I'm seeing quick brown foxes jumping over rabbits...
  • -----
  • Nick: *starts petting Bellwether's head* So fluffy-- *accidentally rips off a huge chunk of her wool*
  • Bellwether: ...Still typing here. Totally not noticing you just did that.
  • ----
  • Bogo: ...You're fired.
  • Judy: What? Why?
  • Bogo: Insubordination!
  • Judy: *holds back laughter* S-sorry--I just can't--the word "insubordination" is just too funny--
  • Bogo: *looks at the camera* This is the fifteenth take. I cannot work like this--I'll be in my trailer--
  • ------
  • Judy: No, I am a cop. And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car. So intimidate me all you want, I'm going to-- *sneezes at Mr. Big*
  • Mr. Big: ...It's all right. Many an animal gets the sniffles here.
  • -----
  • Judy: ...I don't deserve to wear this badge.
  • Bogo: Hopps.
  • Bellwether: Judy-- *forgets her lines*
  • Bogo: Bellwether.
  • Judy: Bogo.
  • Bellwether: Judy.
  • Nick: *offscreen* Nick!
  • -----
  • Nick: Look, you gave her a--a clown vest and joke mobile and two--two--two uh, what--yeah, no, sorry, I think I'm the one who needs that clown vest and joke mobile. *pokes his own nose* Honk honk.
  • ------
  • *Judy's train into Zootopia breaks down multiple times in the middle of its journey.*
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the polar region* Well, at least I can always stop by for some ice cream.
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the desert region* At least I can sunbathe here.
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the rainforest area* Wait, we're filming Mr. Manchas' part already?
  • ------
  • Clawhauser: *sipping loudly on his soda while Judy looks at the case file*
  • Judy: *is trying to hold back laughter*
  • Clawhauser: *unexpectedly burps really loudly* S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that--
  • Judy: *falls off her chair, laughing*
  • -------
  • Bucky: Hey buddy, turn down the depressing music!
  • Judy: *turns off her alarm clock*
  • Pronk: Leave the meter man alone! Didn't you hear the conversation? She feels like a failure!
  • Bucky: Oh, shut up!
  • Pronk: You shut up!
  • Bucky: You shut up!
  • Pronk: You shut up!
  • *they suddenly belt out Black Eyed Peas*
  • Bucky and Pronk: Shut up, just shut up, shut up--shut it up, just shut up, shut up--
  • Judy: *looks at the camera* Tomorrow's another day. Cut!
  • -----
  • Finnick: *from underneath the stroller* She hustled you-- *realizes his voice is actually high and pitchy* Wait--what--Nick, what did you do--
  • Nick: A little helium in your trailer, friend. Besides, you gotta be real convincing as a baby, don't you?
  • -------
  • Bogo: Two days to find the otter. Or you quit. That was the deal. Badge.
  • Judy: *is snickering*
  • Bogo: What now?
  • Judy: I-I'm sorry--I thought you said "baa". Like, baa baa Bogo, have you any wool? *falls in laughter*
  • Bogo: ...Excuse me while I actually facepalm here for a bit.
  • ------
  • Nick: All right, get in here. *steps back a bit as Judy goes in for the hug*
  • Judy: *lunges in for the hug and finds nothing, then falls on her face*
  • Nick: Sorry, just had t'get that out. *picks her up and actually hugs her* See, this is why we work so well. She knows my jokester side too well and just goes with it.
  • Judy: *muffled chuckling* ...I'm gonna fill your trailer with helium later, I swear.
  • -----
  • *while on the cable car*
  • Judy: ...Thank you.
  • Nick: *humming* What can I say, except "you're welcome?"
  • Judy: *chuckles* Should've never showed you that movie before filming. You've been humming it for days now.
  • -----
  • Judy: What are you gonna do? Kill me?
  • Bellwether: *chuckles* Of course not. He is. *pulls out a water pistol and splashes Nick's face* Wha--
  • Nick: *falls over, laughing* S-sorry, it was too easy--switching your gun to a water pistol--
  • Bellwether: *looks at the camera* Cue to Nick not being able to find where he hid the actual thing.
  • -----
  • Scientist: Mayor Lionheart, please. We're doing everything that we can.
  • Mayor Lionheart: Really? 'Cause I have a dozen and a half animals here who've gone off the rails--ails--ah, *stutters* Sorry, sorry, going too fast-- *chuckles* Wasn't quite my tempo back there...
  • ------
  • Bogo: *playing with the Gazelle app on his phone*
  • Clawhauser: *bursts into the room* Chief Bogo!
  • Bogo: *freaks out, throwing his phone out the window*
  • Clawhauser: ...You got another phone, right? And you still have my number on it?
  • -----
  • *Nick and the rest of the cast are backstage, taking a selfie with Gazelle and her tigers*
  • Nick: All right everyone, say, "sequel"!
Damage Control | Tom Holland Imagine

Requested: no, but I love makeup so much and I also love Tom holland so much so this was bound to happen ya know.
Rating: PG-13, this is fluffy as heck, just some mild cursing
Summary: Tom notices some blemishes the day of an award show and recruits you to work your magic and do some damage control with makeup.
///


“YN!” Tom whined loudly from your living room. He was sat on the couch in your apartment, feet draped over the arm rest, head positioned at the middle of the couch, arms holding his phone above his face, tilting his head to stare at the reflection in the Snapchat camera.

You peeked your head in from your kitchen, seeing To examining himself you walk over.

“Yes?” You leaned over the back of the couch so you could lean over his face, casting a slight shadow.
“Look at this-” he pointed to his cheek- “I do not want to go to the award show tonight with this-” he motioned around the right side of his face with his hand, “going on.” He dropped his phone on his chest, looking at you.

“Tom, babe, what are you talking about?”
He sighed, sitting up so his face would be closer to yours. “Look at the spots,” he whined. You gently took his jaw in your hand and tilted his head to the right slightly to see what he was talking about.

Up close, you could see what he was referring to. Three small red spots were forming on Tom’s face, barely noticeable unless you were up close. “They’re gonna have cameras all over me, can you cover them up, please? We need damage control here!” Your hand fell from his face and he turned so his eyes met yours, pleading.

“Tom, it really isn’t that bad, I’m sure nobody would even notice, you don’t have to cover up for tonight I’ll be with the hottest guy there no matter what,” you smiled at him, figuring this would put him at ease enough to drop the subject, but it wasn’t- so about 15 minuets later, the two of you were in the car on the way to the closest Ulta, to find a foundation shade for Tom.

Tom had his camera on for the drive, live streaming the two of you singing to the radio and dancing a bit in your seats. You parked the car and turned off the engine, the two of you getting out and locking the doors behind you as you walked into the mall. It only took a few minuets and a few dozen swatches for you to find a shade that worked with Tom’s coloring and undertones, with a good amount of coverage.

Tom rocked from the balls of his feet to his heels, back and forth in excitement, paying for the tube of foundation and leaving the store.

Tom pulled out his phone again as you entered the car. “Hey again, guys, still out here with YN, just got some makeup for tonight!” Tom laughed at the comments, telling him that “maybe a drag look isn’t best for tonight” or “remember when in doubt blend it out”
“Guys, don’t worry I’m gonna look good- YN’s doing my makeup, she’s a genius with this stuff, I mean look how good she looks!”

He flipped the camera so everyone could see you, turning into your apartment’s parking lot. “Tom, I’m not even wearing makeup yet, I’m going to do mine after I do yours for tonight,” you explained with a laugh, parking the car. Tom kept the camera on as you walked into your apartment building. “YN, are you excited to do my makeup for tonight? You’ll do it like a pro, right?”

You smiled, walking up the stairs to your flat. “Yes, I am this’ll be fun!” You held up the Ulta bag and jokingly shook it around so the camera could see it. “And yes, don’t worry I won’t send you out looking like a clown, love.”

Now the comments had turned to mostly “Awww” and “they’re so good for eachother”. You unlocked your door and followed Tom into your bathroom, flipping on the lights as Tom sat down on the counter.

“I’ll be right back, you guys keep him company while I get my tools,” you joked at the camera, grinning as you left the room. You could hear Tom talking all the way in your bedroom, and as you pulled brushes and sponges from your vanity, could hear every word of what Tom was saying to the camera.
“Yeah, I’m excited as hell. YN is so good with this stuff, seriously- she makes it look so easy,

I watch her do it and she makes it all match and it’ll be the same color as the tiniest detail of her outfit- I don’t think she knows that I notice but I do, she’s so talented, you guys-” he stood himself from continuing as you re-enter the bathroom, setting a pile of goods down on the counter next to Tom.

“Alright, we gonna livestream this?” You giggled, positioning yourself between his legs to acquire the best access to your boyfriend’s face. Tom nodded, holding the phone so both of you were visible to his viewers. “Okay, well you washed your face before we left so it’s clean, I’m gonna put on this moisturizer, doesn’t it smell good?”

You smiled, beginning to apply the product to his face lightly. Talking Tom and his countless viewers through the process of primer and a green color corrector, “to cancel out the redness-” you explained, blending it gently with your fingertips where there was redness on his face. Layering on the foundation you tapped at his face with a sponge, him making jokes about being beaten to death, you rolling your eyes but grinning all the same.

You added a subtle amount of bronzer and a bit of concealer and powderbelow his eyes, Tom winced as you blended so close to his waterline and you rewarded him with a kiss on the top of his head, his lips and his neck, as not to mess up his makeup. Tom grinned, looking at his reflection in the mirror,

“geez, you’re so good at this YN, my face looks so good, if I do say myself, he pulled you close by your waist and kissing your lips, camera still pointing into the mirror.

"You could be a pro, y'know. You look so gorgeous, by the way.” Tom smiled at you, checking his reflection in the car mirror one more time later that night before the two of you left your car, handing your keys to the valet attendant outside of the theatre, beginning to walk down the red carpet, hand in hand.

“Thanks, ” and blushed. “And maybe, I suppose,” you grinned. “The only critique I’d really want is yours though- heard what ya said earlier in the bathroom, ‘as really nice, thank you, by the way,”

Tom blushed, pulling you close as you waited in line to be photographed in front of the sheet with a logo printed all over it. “Of course, darlin’, meant every word of it.”

Now it was his turn to go in front of the photographers, not a worry in his mind about blemishes- thanks to you.

Notice Me [Chapter 5]

Originally posted by oompa-oppa

Chapter 5 of Notice Me

Ch1  Ch2   Ch3  Ch4

Series Genre: Smut/Fluff/ Angst At Times


Mark stared up at Jackson blankly, completely stumped by his question. He was panicking and so were you.

In your panic, you had a quick thought. You screamed loudly, diverting Jackson’s attention to you.

“Y/N! What’s wrong?” Jackson asked, running into your room.

“Spider!! I saw a huge spider!” you lied.

Keep reading

Sf9 As HighSchool Students That Has A Crush On You

Inseong: Head Of The Student Council, Sits in The Front Of The Class And Always makes an excuse to look back, taking a quick glance at you. Loves to volunteer to pass out papers so he can be near you but HATES presenting in front of the class because he somehow always messes up his words and ends up a stuttering mess. The type to never talk to you but just admire from afar

Originally posted by sf9fantasy

Jaeyoon: President of the radio Club. Confesses To You Already and Is Super Persistent On Trying To Win You Over. Basically everyone in the schools know he likes you and he likes it that way so you’re off the market. Announcements are always like: “Goood morning students~and good morning to my lovely soon to be be lover~ the most beautiful girl in the world~ Y/n~!’

Originally posted by sf9fantasy

Rowoon: Captain Of The Baseball Team. Always buys you lunch and puts it on your desk as he walks past ‘cooly’. Always tries to show off his muscles and physique when you’re around (wearing a tight white shirt when it’s freezing outside) and acting cool but when you’re not around he’s a softball, squealing and fanboying to himself after he just saw you a few seconds ago. “Omygod she looked so cute today!”

Originally posted by ruwoons

Youngbin: Class President. Picks on you to help him clean up after class. Always ask you to help him get stuff and pass out papers and makes it an opportunity to make conversation and become friends. Always takes the blame for you when you get in trouble. Let’s you copy his homework or even give you his homework or textbook when you forget.

“Answers to the next test?, no problem~!”

Originally posted by sf9

Dawon: Class Clown, Everyone’s Friends/ Very Popular. Always says hi to you every morning when you come into class and always try to make you laugh; you two eventually joke around from time to time alot in class. Will often zone out during conversations with his friends because he was low-key looking at you. Invites you to his party alot to have more time with you.

“Y/N~PSSttttt”

Originally posted by sf9

Zuho: Captain Of The Basketball Team. The one who picks on you alot as a way of being affectionate. Acts like a big brother, annoying you alot to the point where you either start to hate him or friendzone him. Will cockblock everyone who tries to get to you and always walks you home even you’re like Zuho I can walk home by myself.” “I have somewhere to go and it’s in the same direction.” You say that everyday.” Teases you about everything but secretly loves every quirk you have.

“Oh my god…she’s cute *heart explodes into a million pieces*

Originally posted by namjiwssi

Taeyang: President Of The Dance Club. Scans the crowd alot to see if you’re there when he’s on stage. Loves to perform for you and makes alot of eye contact and fan service even when sometimes it’s a bit too overboard and the other girls in the crowd glare at you because it’s obvious he’s giving you all the attention. Tries to talk to you alot in the hallways during passing classes, ends up walking you to class every time because you both were caught up in the conversation. Jealous easily-Interrupts your conversations with other guys like “So did you like my performance yesterday?”

(The Class President And Class Clown Tryna Talk To You When Taeyang breaks the conversation).

Originally posted by sf9

Hwiyoung: The Quiet Kid From The Orchestra Band That Plays The Cello. Doesn’t scan the crowd for you because he knows you’re there while profusely sweating but still manages to do a great performance-is so proud of himself afterwards.  Sits in the back of the class and glances over alot. Will try to come up to you often but always returns back to his seat midway. Always stare at you when he sees you from across the campus walking (type to stare until he runs into a pole or something).  Writes love notes and leaves it in your locker or desk but it’s always anonymous.

Originally posted by kangchaneee

Chani: Popular kid that every girl likes, even the older girls like him but he never really cares about them because all he sees is you. Basically isn’t fazed when girls are around him but whenever you’re around he runs away dramatically or hides (even though he makes it really obvious he’s trying to get away from you). You think he hates you or something but he actually likes you alot. Asks his friends how to talk to you but when his buddies finally gets you to hangout with them and him on the weekands, he won’t know what to do and will keep looking like he doesn’t want to be there.

“Taeyang…why do I see her walking over to us?”

“I invited her!”

“whisper to himself: omygod..

Originally posted by kangchaneee

(I made this reaction from my own request LMAO). Hope it’s good, if it is I will make one for Pentagon!

Not Funny - William Nylander

the ideal flirt-to-roast ratio in a relationship

for anon

lowercase intended

word count: 1003, I’m sorry :/

warnings: gets steamy @ the end, one curse

a/n: not so sure about this one either (or tumblr making it glitch out of format again). hopefully i’ll get back to writing longer imagines soon. i’m going away for the weekend and have nothing queued as of right now, but i’ll do my best to finish some more tonight and queue them up. of course, i’ll still be writing all weekend and on the long road trip :)

Originally posted by leafbabies

you babysat a lot as a teenager. it was your unofficial-official job, taking care of the little kids in the neighborhood. and you’d loved it.

Keep reading

“Class Clown”

My first writing piece I’ve posted!! Enjoy xx

Taehyung x Reader

Trigger Warnings: mention of abuse, alcoholism,etc.

Summery: The class clown Taehyung has a lot more going on than anybody realizes, especially you, the class valedictorian. Don’t forget to leave feedback and submit requests! b>

It started out like every other school day. You sitting at your desk reading next to your best friend Amari while V, the class clown, sits on the teacher’s desk cracking jokes while the mindless idiots of your grade pee themselves at his “humor”, if that’s what you can even call it.

“All right, all right class settle down. Mr. Kim if you would be so kind as to return to your own seat, that would be wonderful.” Mrs. Stone closes the door behind her as she walks in, casting a fond but tired look in his direction.

“I wasn’t comfortable there anyway,” V smirks and a few kids chuckle watching him make his way across the room to his seat. Scratch that. To you? You take your eyes off of Mrs. Stone and watch in confusion as V makes his way towards you instead of his seat. He pulls up a chair next to you, and you exchange  glance with Amari who shrugs, just as confused as you are.

“What are you doing V?” You hiss quietly as Mrs. Stone begins her lecture on english composition.

“Just enjoying the view Y/N,” V winks at you smirking and you roll your eyes huffing. You are not in the mood to be the punchline of V’s jokes this morning. The rest of class continues, despite V’s giggling as he tosses wads of papers at you and his buddies giggle from across the room. You grit your teeth and ignore him, taking notes instead. V had been the class clown for as long as you could remember, and he absolutely loved dragging you into it whenever possible. You two could not be any more different. While he went out and partied on the weekends and dedicated his life to making crappy jokes and goofing off, you spent your weekends with either Amari, or your family plus Amari, sometimes studying, or playing board games and staying in to watch movies. You’d always been a good student, with dreams of attending an Ivy League. You had a 4.1 GPA as of now, Junior Year, and you were determined to get it even higher.

“Teachers, we apologize for the interruption,” the woman on the intercom began, “But we are now going under a soft lockdown. Please lock the doors and turn off the lights and have your students go into a study hall session until further notice.” She finished. You sighed, thanks again public school system, you bitterly thought as you pulled out your homework binder.

“Why is he still here?” Amari whispers leaning over to you, glancing at V who smiles to himself coloring on his notebook with your colored pens.

“Give me those!” You snap quietly and snatch them from his hands, but just as your hands pull away from his, he grabs onto your hands, engulfing them in his own warm ones.

“Y/N, your hands are so cold!” V exclaims making the class erupt in giggles and Mrs. Stone sigh. You yank your hands away from his and glare feeling your face heat up with embarrassment. Amari glares at V and pulls your chair towards her, and more importantly, away from him. He pouts at you and reaches out for your pens like a little kid. After a minute of you ignoring him and his desire for your pens, he starts to whine, attracting the attention of your peers who giggle a little at his newest antic: annoying the class valedictorian. You continue to ignore him, and reach for your headphones. As soon as you plug them into your phone, V scoots near you again and takes your pens and continues to color. Deciding that was the only way to appease the little beast, you ignore him and start to play your music and study your notes. After 10 minutes of peace, V had gotten bored again and was reading your notes over your shoulder. He pulls out your left headphone and leans in.

“THIS IS BORING,” V yells into your ear, shocking you and the class. You yelp, falling out of your chair, and the class erupts in laughter, V especially. Your face turns red hot with embarrassment and anger and you grit your teeth taking a deep breath trying to stay calm as Amari helps you up. As you stand up, you can see your longtime crush Jin across the room cracking up with the other jocks, and you feel your heart sink.

“QUIET!” Mrs. Stone is up on her feet in seconds, silencing the class. “Mr. Kim, does one week of lunch detention sound good to you?” She asks crisply.

“No, not really.” V tilts his head smiling a little.

“Then I think 2 weeks will better suit you.” Mrs. Stone sits back down at her desk and the class giggles and a chorus of “oooh’s” echo throughout the room. V just smiles shaking his head not caring. As you continue with the impromptu study hall V sits quietly now, not bothering anybody. You rarely see him this quiet, and can’t help but glance over at him. He has his head in his hand staring at the desk biting his lip and looking stressed. He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them and letting out a quiet shaky sigh. You look around to find nobody else observing the boy. He gets detention all the time, so you don’t think that’s whats worrying him, and you know you should be mad at him for embarrassing him in front of everybody, AND JIN, but you kind of feel worried seeing him like this. You lean over, about to check on him, when the bell rings and the lights come on, signaling the lock down is over, and it’s time for your next class. You don’t see him the rest of the day, just in the halls and at lunch, where he’s back to laughing and talking, like nothing had ever bothered him.

Detention, again! This is the third time this month I’d been assigned detention. And for 2 weeks this time! All I did was tease Y/N, and not even that badly! Did anybody else see her shocked face?! It was so cute! Funny. I mean it was funny. Mrs. Stone really must’ve been wiped out or something, she usually has more tolerance for me. Stone and her lack of sleep aren’t my problem. What am I gonna do about dad!? I mean, maybe Jungkook won’t rat me out this time, but if I were him I’d be trying to get dad off my back any chance I got too, so I can’t blame the kid. I close my eyes, laying my head in my hand remembering last time. I had to spend some of our grocery money on concealer. Girl makeup! Just to cover up his mistakes. I hope Jungkook left some for me. I open my eyes again, stress bubbling up inside of me as I think about my failing classes, and what’s going to come once I get home.  

I continue through my day, doing all I ever do smiling and making everybody happy around me. It’s what I’m good at. Pretty much the only thing I’m good at. I occasionally sneak glances at Y/N, as she passes me in the hallway. She’s so beautiful. The way her eyes light up in class when she knows the answer, the way her beautiful lips curve up at the corners when she finishes talking in class, the way she bites her lip while she works…she’s perfect. I’ve liked her since the beginning of sophomore year, when she helped tutor me in math. I can tell she hates me, and as much as it breaks my heart, I can’t help pestering her and..agh. I just can’t help myself when I’m around her.

“V!” Jungkook’s voice jolts me from my thoughts, and I turn smiling at him. He’s such a sweet brother, he deserves much more than me. Than us. I’ve been saving up since the 8th grade for his college fund. I’m getting him away from here if it’s the last thing I do. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah!” We walk down the sidewalk together, him telling me about his day and about his little girlfriend, and me, smiling and listening.

“V..I heard you got detention again.” Jungkook finally gets to the rough part.

“You won’t tell dad?” I ask nervously, but see the discomfort in his eyes.

“I’ll try not to..but you know how he gets.” Jungkook says quietly, and although he tried hard to cover the bruises, I can faintly see them under his left eye. As we approach the house I give him a reassuring smile before walking in quietly. There he is. Laying on the couch, an empty bottle in his hand. I hate this man. This isn’t the man who taught me how to ride my bike when I was 5. This is the man heartbreak, time, and pent up anger destroyed. I pull Kookie in and gently push him towards his room, as he closes the door, I hear movement in the living room.

“Taehyung, did you just leave the front door open?”His voice grumbles from the end of the hall.

“Yeah..I’m sorry dad I was gonna go back and close it.” I answer quietly.

“Were you?” I close my eyes and walk out closing the door, preparing for the worst.

You sit at home on your bed, reading your favorite book when your macbook chimes with an email. You groan and roll over opening it up. It’s an email from Mrs. Stone?

Hey Y/N! Sorry to bother you at home like this, but I was hoping you could help out a fellow student? Your classmate Taehyung has been falling behind in school and I was hoping you could help him out? Maybe stop by his house and talk with him and help him study when you can? Thank you!

                                                                              -Mrs. Stone

You sigh, not wanting anything to do with V, or “Taehyung”. He’s been called V since the 4th grade. You don’t know why, but it suits him. You pack up some books and call out to your mom that you’re off to do more tutoring. You haven’t been to his house since the 1st grade for his birthday party, but you kind of remember where it is. After a brisk 10 minute walk you finally get to the street and walk up to his house ringing the doorbell. A lovely woman with a baby on her hip answers, surprising you.

“Hi, is V home?” You smile asking.

“V? Nobody here is named V sweetie, you must have the wrong house.” The woman smiles, confused at this odd visit.

“Oh, I thought this was his house, sorry.” You smile embarrassed and step down from the door.

“Maybe he used to live here? We moved in like…7 years ago, if that helps any.” The woman smiles closing the door and you think. 7 years ago? Maybe this was just the wrong house. But you remember the bouncy house being right there, and Amari kissing that kid Jimin on the cheek over here…this was the house, that’s for sure. 7 years ago? That was the 4th grade…What happened in the 4th grade? He moved houses and became V? All out of the blue? You didn’t know what happened, but now you were determined to figure this out.

The world was shaking, my head was throbbing, and I distantly heard shouting. Still not done with me? I blink, opening my eyes and see dad and Kookie shouting back and forth, Kookie pinned to the wall, a bloody nose, and dad, angry as ever shouting in his face. I sit up, and look at the bloody tiles surrounding where I was laying, and I shakily pull myself up and rip my dad off of Kookie. Kookie bolts out the front door.

“Leave. Him. Alone.” I say, gritting my teeth and preparing for the worst. But it never comes. He just takes one more look at me, pushes me to the side, and walks out the door. Probably off to some bar. I catch my breath and close my eyes leaning my head against the wall before everything goes dark again.

The next day, you’re surprised to see V come in with a bandaid on his jaw. He jokingly retells the story of how he walked in on Kookie in the bathroom and Jungkook swung the door back and hit him in the face. Mrs. Stone comes in and starts class, and V sits down in his real seat this time. He’s oddly quiet this time in class, and you notice his right eye seems a little swollen although there’s no bruising you can see. Class finishes early, and you’re aloud free time until the period is over. You walk over to him tapping his shoulder and he turns away from his friends smiling up at you.

“So you finally decided you’re in love with me and you’re here for some action?” V grins his big sparkling grin and his friends crack up, Jin included.

“No,” you sigh, “I’m here because Mrs. Stone wants me to tutor you. With end of term 1 finals coming up, you need my tutoring fast.” You say, trying to look mature and smart in front of Jin, who seems to already have forgotten you’re there.

“Ah, okay. When?” V looks serious now.

“After school? Just walk home with me and we can do it at my place.” You say knowing your parents won’t mind you tutoring tonight.

“Alright. Its a date.” V smiles cheekily at you as you can’t help but smile and shake your head and return to your seat. I guess it’s a date. You smile shaking your head thinking.

End of part 1. If this gets good feedback, I’ll make a part 2! Don’t forget to message me for requests and I’ll write them! I’m open to anything from shipping you with members, stories, reactions, and all that, thanks! Please send me feedback lol!

BTS As Dads

Seokjin:

  • makes sure his kids and wife are always properly fed
  • type to steal his daughter’s princess tiara away from her so he can wear it
  • insists on cooking and baking for their birthday parties
  • allows the kids to help him cook (ex. wash the vegetables)
  • makes lots of embarrassing dad jokes, sometimes on purpose  sometimes not
  • let’s his kids paint his nails
  • loves to arrange play dates
  • the type to grill his daughter(s) boyfriend
  • would never admit in front of his kids that they were better looking than him but behind their backs he would gush about how they’re the gems of his world
  • would love to carry them on his shoulders

Yoongi:

  • extreme soft spot for daughters (he’d feel more protective over them)
  • likes to take naps with his kids
  • often observes them from afar unable to believe they’re his
  • extremely understanding of the mistakes his kids make
  • tends to accidentally swear in front of them a lot
  • complains a lot but would lowkey like playing dress up with them
  • let’s them play with his hair and put make up on him
  • would encourage his kids to follow their dreams no matter what others thought of them, at the same time reminding them that he’d be proud and love them no matter what they chose
  • would constantly tell his wife they liked him more than her and that he was the cooler parent (lil shit)
  • when they were older, he’d constantly jokingly threaten to disown them whenever he was done with them lol
  • would teach his kids how to rap if they wanted to learn

Originally posted by aphador

Namjoon:

  • loves to read them bedtime stories
  • since he loves fashion, you can bet his kids would look like little fashionistas
  • i can see him creating an instagram for them similarly to tablo and haru
  • helps them with homework
  • type to scare away the monsters hiding under their beds
  • being the accident prone individual he is, he’d be afraid they’d turn out the same so he would take extra measures to child proof everything for his kids sake and his own (knowing him though one sec he’d have his child on his lap the next they’d be on the floor crying)
  • helps them in whatever way possible to help them achieve their dreams
  • dresses up as Santa Clause for Christmas but instantly gets caught by his kids
  • loves to take them to get ice cream
  • would teach his children english
  • would teach his kids how to rap if that was something they were interested in

Hoseok:

  • he’d be very affectionate
  • join in on his kids screaming (his poor wife)
  • even though he’s not the most studious he’d try his best to help his kids with their homework
  • he’d also be supportive af
  • he’d love to cuddle with his kids
  • he’d love to tuck them in and give them a good night kiss on the forehead
  • kisses their “boo boos” better
  • type to hang and even frame his kids drawings and keep whatever they made him
  • he would cry on any special day (ex. first day of school, graduation)
  • constantly remind his kids that they meant the world to him and he loved them unconditionally 
  • his kids would come out as extra as him 
  • teach his kids how to dance (he’d get so excited if one of them took an interest)

Jimin:

  • calls daughter his “little princess”
  • buys them a lot of gifts and unintentionally spoil tf out of them (his wife would need to intervene lol)
  • sings to his kids whenever they have nightmares
  • he’d always have a smile on his face when he was near them
  • loves to kiss his wife in front of them just to hear them say “ew”
  • loves giving them piggy back rides and pretending to be a plane
  • ruffles their hair a lot
  • goes all out for their birthdays
  • would always be fascinated by how small his kid(s) hands were
  • would constantly show them off to the other members (”look at how cute my kids are, they’re cuter than jungkook”)

Taehyung:

  • who’s the parent again?
  • bends to his children’s will lol
  • takes a lot of pictures and likes recording important moments (ex. first steps)
  • he’d constantly be proud to call them his kid and show them off a lot
  • type to dress up as a clown for their birthdays and accidentally scare tf out of them
  • love to tickle them 
  • he’d have a lot of inside jokes with them that’d leave his wife curious
  • he’d love to play with them 
  • would never yell at his kids and if he did he’d feel bad immediately afterwards
  • would pinch their cheeks a lot
  • he’d love his children so much and he’d always remind them that he did

Jungkook:

  • he’d be laid back but extremely protective at the same time
  • he’d tease his kids a lot
  • he’d love to sit them on his shoulders
  • the type to get scolded by his wife for using his kids as weights lol
  • loves taking them on adventures to the park, beach, etc
  • would probably turn his children into memes
  • goes crazy on their costumes for Halloween and building mini haunted houses with them
  • loves to travel with his family 
  • often saves the “i love you”s for important events so they’re more special
  • type to fix everything around the house