me, an Autism™, trying to explain anything:
okay so. okay so you know how som...sometimes.. wait hang on. okay so basically what's uhhh what's going on is.... wait how do i phrase this? i mean what's gonna happen is that the thing. you kn..know what the thing is, anyw-nevermind. the uhh, th.. wait hang on
we tried hard to stand it. we were barely human. we were bodies stacked with pain. we never said sorry,
didn’t wanna. you were always drunk
& sad & too far gone for that. I was
terrible & I didn’t care about being better.
but now you’re standing in my bedroom.
now you’re scared & you say you
wanna get into heaven. you wanna stand in some form of light that isn’t filtered through clouds of crude smoke.
good luck, & who knows, maybe god
will forgive us for all of this. the stones
we threw, the ankles we bit, the people
we kissed. showing up at the gates
with our tails between our legs. starved & mad, two dogs who missed
their last meal, licking our wounds & itching for a fair fight.
there so much to get mad about. go ahead pick something. imagine if it helped. imagine if mattered. I didn’t cry when you left. I just circled ‘round the block & waited for you to come back. because you always do. because I know how this goes. we pretend we aren’t the same & then we realize we are & we pretend we don’t care. we need each other & that’s all we do.
it’s crazy the things you do for a friend. it’s crazy the way you’ll act for love.
what she means:
in the first Fullmetal Alchemist anime the military control Liore was put under was used as a cover for making another philosopher's stone. It was essentially the same thing that happened in Ishval and everyone knew Ed caused it. Mustang tried to protect him but Scar said it right to his face. His guilt complex is too big to handle that. How did he live with himself after he learned it was his fault all those people's lives were ruined, especially when he thought he had helped them all that time. He already lives every day with the guilt of imprisoning his brother in a suit of armor, I don't think he could handle having the guilt of a second Ishval on his shoulders too. Is he able to sleep at night? My son doesn't deserve this.
What was Edward and lizzy's nanny interaction all about? Sorry for asking,
Oh no, to me that was the most disturbing part of this month’s chapter. Tbh, it was more upsetting than the revelation of the real Earl Ciel “I’m home” Phantomhive :/
Super rough translation of Paula’s line:
Edward asks where Lizzy is.
“Lady Elizabeth went to the place where she’s supposed to be”
“Young master Edward, what would you do if one day the thing you cherished the most suddenly broke?“
“I’m just a maid but I have served Lady Elizabeth for a long time. I love Lady Elizabeth,
even through her difficult times and fun times. I therefore… can’t bear anymore seeing Lady Elizabeth crying…!”
Please don’t ask me what Paula meant by this, I don’t know either :( This maid is useless, just tell us explicitly where Lizzy is.