no it says lettuce

anonymous asked:

U ever touched that devil's lettuce??? (anti honesty ask)

If by lettuce, u mean WEED, then absolutely not.

I dont care what kind of euphemisms u impure delinquents are calling it these days, but you are right about one thing; marijuana is the devil’s lettuce because taking one hit is a guaranteed one way trip to HELL.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. The meaning behind the word “weed” goes as follows:

W: we are going to hell. E: eternal hellfire. E: endless suffering. D: death will find you.

So, no, I’ve never touched that “devil’s lettuce,” and I don’t plan to

BTS’s reaction to you starting a diet:

Jin: “But I wanted you to be a special guest on Eat Jin,” your boyfriend pouts (an impressive feat with his mouth full of food). He’s very against the idea of you going on a diet – who’s going to help him clear up all the food he can’t manage?

You raise an eyebrow, while he swallows and asks – “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“Just a little…” You reach across the table separating the two of you, and wipe some sauce from the corner of his lips, before popping your finger in your mouth.

Jin chuckles, “Isn’t eating that sauce against your diet?”

“It’s just sauce.”

“Sauce that’s high in fat and salt!”

“This is why you’re a rubbish boyfriend - making me break my diet. For shame!” You poke your tongue out at him.

Jin sighs. “Ah well, I guess if you’re on a diet now, that means more food for me. And I was going to order that ice-cream you like for the next episode of Eat Jin as well…”

That’s playing dirty! “You wouldn’t!” you scoff, knowing full well that he will, and that when you ask for a lick, just the tiniest taste – he’ll offer you the whole scoop - your favourite flavour too - and boom! there goes your diet, and all your good intentions. The worst part is – you won’t mind, because Jin’s kisses will taste that extra bit sweeter seeped in vanilla and strawberry ice-cream.

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Yoongi: Yoongi can tell something’s up. You’re being extremely quiet, and you haven’t touched any of the pizza on your plate. Jostled up beside your talkative friends, you’re like a lone grey cloud in the middle of a blue June sky.

Yoongi finishes off the crumbs on his own plate, then stands. “Well, I guess I’ll go wash up,” he says, “Y/N, do you wanna come help?”

You scrunch your nose at him, but follow him to the kitchen anyway, away from the busy chatter of your friends.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Yoongi asks, when the two of you are out of earshot.

You fiddle with a loose strand on your sweater. “Nothing’s wrong.” There’s a moment of hesitation, and you pull at the thread a little harder, twisting it around your finger. “I just don’t want to eat too since I’ve -” The last part is mumbled.

“You’ve what?”

“…I’ve started dieting.” Your cheeks turn pink.

“Dieting?” Yoongi repeats, “Why?”

“I need to lose some weight.”

He shakes his head. “That’s simply not true. You’re the perfect weight, and I don’t want to hear you saying otherwise. I like you the way you are now.” He gives your arm a gentle poke. “I like this part.” He pokes your stomach. “And this part.” He moves up to your nose. “And this part. I like all of it. It’s all perfect.”

You blush, and bat his hand away. “Yeah, yeah… don’t get all mushy.” But when you go back to join your friends, Yoongi’s happy to see you tucking into a fat slice of pizza.

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Hosoek: “Ugh…” That’s a sound you haven’t heard from Hoseok in a while – the sound he makes when he knows he’s fighting a losing battle against you. But he won’t give up without a fight - oh no! He’ll see a smile break through that perfected pout of yours, even if it means bringing out the big guns! An exaggerated eye-roll and a funny face secures his victory, and you can’t cap the laughter that fizzes up inside you - this is definitely the best way to deal with a couple’s quarrel.

“Stop that,” you bash playfully at his chest, and he bends over in feigned pain –

“Wow, Y/N, you’re so mean to me! And when I’m trying to help you out as well!”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes. “Hoseok, you stopping me from dieting isn’t going to help anything. I need to take better care of my health. You should be supporting this.”

He straightens up, straightens his face, and fixes you with a serious look. “Okay, I’ll support you – but only if you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

“I’m doing it to get healthier!”

“And you know that-”

“- that I’m completely gorgeous, with the perfect body, and that I don’t need to diet at all, and that you’re lucky to have me.”

He catches your face in his hands, palms pressing your cheeks softly, before he plunges in for a kiss. “Damn right.”

Originally posted by hoseokayo

Namjoon: “You dieting? Good one, babe.” Namjoon’s dimples deepen, his smile erupting into a fully-fledged laugh.

And then he realises you’re not joking. And his face falls. “Wait, really? You’re dieting? Why?” His mind kicks into overdrive, wondering, worrying about what could have caused this sudden decision. Before, you would have happily helped him finish off pizzas or ice-cream sundaes, but now you’re talking about empty calories and cutting carbs.

“I need to fix my figure,” you tell him, brow wrinkling into a frown.

Namjoon looks you up and down. “Babe…”


His eyes trace your body a second time. “Babe.”

“What?” you demand again.

He shakes his head. “You do not need to get in shape. Your body is so sexy.”

“Sexy?” Your nose crinkles. “You think I’m sexy?”

“Unbelievably sexy.”

You consider this for a moment. Then – “Well… I guess if you think so, maybe I’m okay.”

“No, not just okay, but-”

“Sexy, right?” You finish his sentence for him, a glint in your eyes.

“Right! Sexy.” He purrs the word.

“Say it one more time.”

“Only if you promise to stop this talk of dieting.”



Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Jimin: “But I bought all these biscuits for you!” Jimin gazes at the plate of cream-coated cookies in distress, then back up at you, his eyebrows furrowing. This isn’t how he imagined you accepting his date-night gift.

You grin sheepishly. “Sorry… I forgot to tell you I was starting a diet.”

“Can’t you leave it till tomorrow?”

Your mouth pops open in mock horror. “That would be cheating!”

“In all seriousness though, dieting’s no fun. Trust me, I’ve tried it before, and it didn’t make me any happier, or healthier.” Jimin’s mouth pulls down at the corners a little, before his usual smile returns. “Come on. Just one… they’re really tasty. Just take one.” As he says this, he picks up a cookie, and bites into it slowly, never breaking eye-contact with you. It’s a challenge. (Eat one! I dare you!)

You give in. Of course you do. It’s Jimin. Leaning towards him, you kiss some of the crumbs off the corner of his mouth, then, with the taste of sugar fresh on your tongue, you concede, “Maybe one or two couldn’t hurt.” A smug grin paints itself across Jimin’s face as you reach for the plate.

Tomorrow. You can start your diet tomorrow…

Or the day after that…

Originally posted by sugakookie

Taehyung: Taehyung doesn’t understand it. To him, you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on – you’re prettier than diamonds, and stardust, and wildflowers, and sunsets, and the pictures of waterfalls they stick on travel brochures. In short - you’re perfection personified. So, Taehyung can’t wrap his head around the idea of you dieting because you’re (quote) ‘so disgusting’.

It’s eating him up, knowing that you’re unhappy, and not knowing how he can fix it. All he can do is smile, and promise you that the voice in your head is lying to you. “But I never lie, Y/N. Not to you. Not about this.”

Still, your lips stay down-turned, eyes dull, not properly seeing him through your tears.


You wipe you eyes.

“Y/N, look at me.”

You blink a few times, and look up.


You do. Despite all the negative thoughts that are bubbling around you, you manage to smile, and that’s all Taehyung needs to smile too.

“There, right there, that’s what perfection looks like.” He frames your face with his fingers, then slips his hands on down to your shoulders, looping around you and pulling you close.

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Jungkook: “You’re what?” Jungkook cocks his head at you, looking like a confused puppy across the café table.

“Dieting…” you say past a mouthful of lettuce leaves, “Quit looking at me like that. I’m not speaking an alien language. D-i-e-t-i-n-g. Dieting.”

His head remains fixed in place, tilted to one side, the corners of his eyes scrunching up.

“Stop it!” You throw a napkin at him, which misses its target and floats down to the floor. You’re laughing, and he eventually breaks his gaze to chuckle as well.

“Okay, but seriously, why are you dieting?” His arms stretch across the table, reaching for your wrists as you bring another forkful of salad to your mouth.

A shrug is his answer. “I’ve just been feeling… I don’t know… ugly lately.”

“You don’t look ugly lately.”

Your eyes trail up to his. “You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend - you have to say nice things.”

“No way!” He leans further over the table, cupping your face in his hands, “Listen, if you want to diet for your health – fine. But I don’t ever want you thinking you’re ugly, because -  honestly! cross my heart and hope to die! - you are-” (he leans forward and kisses you) “- gorgeous.”

Originally posted by bwibelle

! none of the gifs are mine !

Do Something Bad, Too - Part 4

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Summary: It’s like every single Alpha on the planet won’t rest until they’ve confessed their eternal wish for you to mother their children, and it’s getting old. Luckily, that’s a problem Bucky might be able to fix.

Warnings: language, a/b/o dynamics, nsfw content (aka orgasms)

A/N: its finally here! sorry for taking like 30000 years but i got there in the end! happy new year, happy holidays, i hope everyone is well and i hope you enjoy this part!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

When you were in the army, you decided that you would never, ever chose an Alpha as a mate. You were surrounded by the worst kind day in day out - and, sure, when you moved companies nobody knew you were an omega thanks to the suppressants, but that just meant they felt like they could say all their shitty opinions about omegas in front of you as if you wouldn’t be offended.

In your opinion, 99% of Alphas were pigs and had zero respect for you no matter how successful you were, or how many suppressants you took. The past few weeks, however, have made you seriously reconsider that percentile.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I just love your meta so much! It's refreshing to see someone who knows what they're talking about and using actual canonical evidence rather than emotion or made up headcanons. For a lighter question, where would you rate the foods of the four nations on a scale and which would you be interested in trying?

The Four Kingdoms’ Cuisine

Earth Kingdom: 9/10

The Earth Kingdom has a wide variety of food, including a dizzying array of sweets. From Kyoshi Island:

Aang: All right! Dessert for breakfast! These people sure know how to treat an Avatar!

To Omashu:

King Bumi: Heheh! The people in my city have gotten fat from too many feasts, so I hope you like your chicken with no skin.

And who wouldn’t want THIS cold drink in the middle of the desert?


But there is a downside to these culinary delights–they’re just as stratified as the Earth Kingdom itself. If you’re poor, you’re more likely to dine on this:

Whereas the Upper Ring denizens have all the delicacies. (Unless Bosco gets first dibs.)

And if you’re in the produce business … it may be better to skip Ba Sing Se.

Still, the Earth Kingdom’s food is second to none. With the odd exception:

You’d be wise to secure an invitation to dinner.

Fire Nation: 7/10

Fire Nation fare is not for the faint of stomach. They prefer their food heavily spiced:


And meaty.

Though they, too, have an assortment of delicacies.

It’s too bad we never got to see that big fancy fruit tart that Mai ordered–with rose petals on top, no less! But we do know that the Fire Nation’s climate makes fresh fruit readily available …

… For better or for worse. 

Air Nomads: 5/10

We don’t know much about Air Nomad dishes, aside from the fact that they embraced vegetarianism. However, they must have had a bit of a sweet tooth:

A gooey center with hand-airbent whipped topping? Sign me up. As for the rest of the food, we’ll never know. But given Aang’s willingness to eat anything vegetable-related (even fishing lettuce out of the garbage), it’s safe to say he wasn’t raised with a refined palate.

Water Tribe: 3/10

Sorry, Water Tribe, and I’m the first to admit this is a matter of personal preference. But when blubbered seal jerky is the most appetizing thing on the menu, I’d just as soon cook at home. This is hardly the most mouth-watering feast we see in A:TLA:

Then there’s the stewed sea prunes, which even Aang balks at.

Or …  this delightful creature, from the Foggy Swamp Tribe.

No one misses Water Tribe food like the Water Tribe themselves! But for outsiders, it’s definitely an acquired taste.

Aang: I’d steer clear of the “sea prunes”.
Toph: I thought they were ocean kumquats.
Aang: Close enough.

Yet no matter which nation you travel to, there is always, always room for the most important part of each meal:

A cup of Uncle Iroh’s tea.

Iroh: The secret ingredient is love.

So this just happened to me. I work at the place that is known for roast beef, but has most other meats. So everything was going fine, I was kind of a little slammed in drive through but no big deal. This man came up to the speaker and asked me what sold most here I told him about the specials going on etc and he decided he wanted the 2 for 6 gyros.

This is where everything went to hell. He asked for extra tomatoes and lettuce and I went to say okay but my backline guy told me we were out of tomatoes. So I calmly informed him we were out and I was sorry (our truck comes on Mondays this was was on Sunday so of course we’re out of stuff)

This man started whining like an actual child about how he wanted tomatoes on his sandwich, the picture had tomatoes so he wanted tomatoes. I told him again we didn’t have them and that’s when he asked for free potato cakes because of our lack of tomatoes. Obviously I’m not doing that because theres no reason he should get a free side just for no tomatoes. So I told him I wasn’t able to do that and even asked the manager what to do and she said just give him a senior discount and leave it at that. He finally just agreed on the senior discount but not after whining yet again that he wanted tomatoes on his gyros.

I can’t give you something we don’t have dude.

TLDR: man wanted 2 for 6 gyros and was mad we didn’t have tomatoes so he acted like an entitled man child

taniamirandaancona  asked:

Solangelo of course, number 25 and 31 pls❤

25. “Shut up and kiss me.”

-> done

31. “Are you jealous?”

“Are you jealous?”

Nico scoffed, “Of course not. Why should I be?”

“Are you sure?”

“Will, how many times do I have to tell you?”

“Nico, how many times are you going to deny?”

“I mean, sure she’s some cute little thing you’re giving all of your attention to but I’m okay with that. Yeah, you can spend all your time with your little ball of fluffy cuteness for all I care. Just ignore me here”

Will let out a soft chuckle. “So, you are jealous”

“I am not!” Nico glared before actually huffing “Okay, maybe a bit. Just a bit”

“Nico, she’s just a hamster. You know that I will always love you more right?” Will placed a playful kiss on Nico’s lips before giving his attention towards the hamster, giving her little belly rubs and ignoring Nico “So don’t be jealous”

“Easy for you to say” Nico frowned before taking a lettuce leaf from his salad bowl and offering it to the Hamster who actually decided that she liked the son of Hades.

“I see it now, aren’t you just adorable?” Nico gently took the hamster from his boyfriend and feeding her more lettuce leaves.

“Hey, I though I was the adorable one?”

“I changed my mind”


(52) Gladio’s pick-up lines.

Gladio: With all your experience you’ve become a very wonderful cook, Iggy.
Ignis: Why, thank you. That’s nice from you.
Gladio: But you’re so selfish. Keeping the best, nicest set of buns to yourself, huh? 
Ignis: And I’m not sharing them with you.

the bridge as scottish twitter
  • etta: im at the age where people r askin "so what u doin with ur life" n im like mate am genuinely just here for a laff x
  • kate: why dae folk ask babies stupid shite lit "ur gettin big arent ye?" as if the wee cunts gony be like aye moira yer spot on am oan the protein
  • roger: i deh trust the dentist when they start talking in code about your teeth to their wee pal, you got suhin to say say it to ma face prick
  • bertie: mate the amount of lettuce tesco put on their sandwiches a asked for a blt no the botanical gardens
  • frank: am heavy good at dain absolutely fuckall, can sit for hours and just do nuhin. should look into playing deed bodies in films wid be a breeze
Soulmate! Taehyung Au

This is so bad omG I APOLOGIZE - admin nine

  • when you were little, your mother would tell you all the interesting stories behind the tattoos on your family’s arms.
  • For instance, you mom’s tattoo reads, “That drawing is as almost as beautiful as you.”
  • You loved the romanic stories of how soulmates met.
  • You loved romantic stories in general.
  • In fact, that’s all you wanted your mom to read you.
  • So you would start to believe that all first meetings between soulmates were romantic.
  • Until…. you could finally read.
  • Once you could actually read your tattoo, well…
  • Let’s just say “Could I have five sandwiches with just mayo and lettuce, a milkshake with a hash brown blended in, and a coffee?” wasn’t as romantic as you hoped.
  • In fact it wasn’t romantic AT ALL.
  • You were pretty embarrassed about your tattoo tbh.
  • So you always wore long sleeves and jackets to cover up your embarrassment.
  • Later on in high school, your mom no longer had spare money to buy you books or basic school supplies.
  • So you decided to get a job and started applying e v e r y w h e r e.
  • The only one you got accepted to was a fast food restaurant.
  • You had mixed feelings, wondering if you would meet your soulmate but at the same time anxious that your soulmate would be creepy or weird.
  • Nonetheless, you needed money and went to the job regardless.
  • Your first couple weeks were ordinary, with the occasional weird orders here and there.
  • But none of them were as bizarre as the one engraved on your forearm.
  • And it stayed like that for a couple months
  • You started to give up hope on finding your soulmate
  • That is until 6 months after you initially started your job.
  • You had been going about business like usual, serving a customer, until you heard a very familiar sentence from the next line over.
  • “Could I have five sandwiches with just mayo and lettuce-”
  • You never sprinted to whisper into someone’s ear so fast.
  • “Uh but aren’t you in the middle of yo-”
  • “PLEAAAASEE, he’s my soulmate”
  • “… okay but you have a weird ass soulmate. At least he’s cute.”
  • She turned to your soulmate, stating “she’ll take your order,  sir” with the largest smile you’ve seen in 6 months.
  • “Okay so, um, could I get five sandwiches with just mayo and lettuce, a milkshake with a hash brown blended in, and a coffee, please?”
  • “Of course. But I hope you know half the people here are judging your life choices”
  • You looked up and gave him a small little smile, raising the sleeve on your arm and displaying your tattoo.
  • A large, toothy grin spread across his face.
  • He sorta looked like a puppy.
  • a v cute puppy
  • You went on break once he paid and started to get to know each other
  • His name was Taehyung and apparently those orders weren’t actually for him
  • “Oh thank god I thought you were on a weird diet”
  • It was actually for a bet to see which of his friends could each the most disgusting food.
  • Which honestly was pretty funny
  • Throughout your conversation Taehyung would complement you none stop
  • “Your eyes are really bold and pretty”
  • “Your smile makes me want to smile”
  • After a couple minutes his order is ready
  • It smelled awful.
  • “Hey, why is only the coffee normal?”
  • “The coffee? Oh this is mine. Oh one sec-Could I get a straw please?”
  • “Wait a minute, who tf drinks coffee with a straw.”
  • “I do okAy.”
  • Once he leaves you go back to work.
  • Only for him to rush back inside and give you his number.
  • “You should call me and stop by later to see my friends eat this crap.”
  • “Sure I would love to.”
  • “Great, now I can introduce my beautiful soulmate to them.”
  • And you’re left blushing like heck throughout the rest of your shift
  • Even though your tattoo wasn’t the most romantic, at least it was still memorable.
The Office

2 teams of 6 good looking men, 1 intern, 1 receptionist and an overwhelming amount of tension and flirting.

Part Three - The Meeting

Genre: CRACK | Fluff | Angst
Members:  OT7
Word count: 3,190

A/N: tHIS CHAPTER IS A BLESSING. You’re welcome. - Amelia

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Originally posted by jamless-vibes

I overslept.

You know that nice warm fuzzy feeling you get when you wake up, I didn’t experience that today. Instead the me -who was extremely over tired from staying up late watching some melodrama and crying into the abyss- was rudely awoken by my alarm. And you know, alarms just leave you in a mood all day long. I try to get my body into a routine so I don’t need to use an alarm but last night threw me off, I set one in case… turns out I really needed it.

Waking up sets the tone of the whole day so I can tell right away, this one’s gonna be an absolute gem. Not only was today the day of the accounting meeting with Bang Sihyuk, today was the day after my sob session. Time to hold my tired head high and suck back 2 gallons of coffee; a technique for brighter, fresher skin and smaller dark circles… Ahaha.

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Starco Week 3 - Bad Boy x Princess

Ok, so I didn’t really know what to do (didn’t have time to do an audio thing because I wasn’t able to plan for it) SOOOOO I decided I’d write a fic :p
So here it is! @starcoweek3 (based on the au by @fullertoons)

This ended up having some drama into it, so uh, yea, watch out. SORRY FOR BEING A DAY LATE!!

My first fic, so RIP my career

Thanks for reading!

The Date

“Uuugh” the young princess thought, patiently impatient to her date’s antics. “He better have a good reason for this!” Her thoughts harrumphed in a loud silence.

“Hey Princess~”, the lax, still maturing, voice called out from behind Star. The princess whipped around, trying to hide the daggers in her stare, but failing.“Oh I’m sorry, were you waiting for me long? I’m soooo sorry~.” Marco said sarcastically, with a devilish grin. The leather-jacketed boy walked up to Star, closer than the girl had anticipated. “N-no, I just got here!” Star stammered back shyly, blushing slightly.

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