no idea what to do for this one... so this is the product

[100/100]

11/12/17

Here we are, day 100. I have no idea how we got here because I didn’t think I would do three days let alone a hundred. So much has changed. My day one I was doing notes for drama and now I’ve dropped the subject because it caused my mental health to suffer. I’ve tried to be more positive in life, when everything else seems to be falling apart I’ve tried to say that I will be positive. Today I made blog posts for media and took footage for my coursework. For some reason I suddenly felt very anxious but I’m trying to forget that, move on. I want a positive December. I want to end this 100 days on a high note. Over the last 100 days I have learn that I’m not as thick as I think I am, I’m clever than I have been led to believe. In the last 100 days I’ve chosen my future career, I’ve found what I want to do. And I am determined to get there, no matter how long it takes or what I have to do to get there. I hope you all have a lovely day x

NaNoWriMo Prep: How to Write 2000 Words a Day

Originally posted by byaseashore

Two thousand is a big number. Sitting down to write 2000 words can be extremely intimidating, so the first thing you should do is make that number friendlier.

Write 500 words in 4 writing sessions.  

Chop up that big, intimidating number. Start with a goal of 500 words. In one session, with no breaks, write them all. Take a break, then write the next 500. Repeat until you reach at least 2000. 

If you write 650 words in one session, don’t aim for 350 in the next. Let those extra words add up. A few hundred extra words each day will get you to 50k quicker than you could imagine.

I recommend timing your sessions, aiming for 20 minutes each time. The deadline will help you get the words out, With 10 minute breaks between each session, you can reach your 2000 word goal in two hours. Which brings me to the next point: 

Write fast. 

Don’t stop and think about your words. Don’t go back and improve a previous sentence. Save all of your edits for later. Focus on writing as quickly as possible, throwing everything you have at that blank page. This will actually help boost your creativity. Make your brain work so fast, be so focused, that it doesn’t have any space to doubt itself and you’ll be amazed at what you can come up with. 

But don’t worry if you can’t write 500 words in 20 minutes on day one. Writing quickly is a skill and it will take a few days of training. 

Let the words suck.

This is absolutely key if you want a high word count. When you’re writing an entire chapter in a day, you shouldn’t expect the words to be beautiful. You’re not aiming at lyrical prose. You’re mining raw material that you can work into art later.

Letting the words suck can include:

  • Writing [something happens here] in place of a scene.
  • Letting yourself use cliches as shorthand.
  • Dialog that is really exposition.
  • Long descriptions of things that don’t matter.
  • Letting your characters ramble until you discover what it is they actually need to say.

As long as there are 2000 words and they relate to your story, they’re exactly what you need. And if you hate having bad words on a page, once you have your 2000 for a day, you can go back and fix all of it. Take all the time you need. Just reach that word count first. 

Tip: if you do edit at the end of each day, make that a separate document from your official NaNo doc. This way, you can trim scenes, descriptions, and dialog without worrying about its effect on your word count. (If you make a scene/description/sentence longer, feel free to include that in your NaNo doc.) 

Don’t know what to write next?

So you’ve written 1200 words, completed a scene, and you have no idea where the story is going next. Here are some things you can do to get those 800 words in anyway:

  • Go to writeordie.com and FORCE the words out.
  • If that doesn’t work, reread the scene you’ve just written and see if you’re missing some obvious foreshadowing, some clue as to where the story’s headed. (You can also add a few lines to bulk up your wc.)
  • If that fails, take a walk and let the fresh air usher a solution to you.
  • If that fails, skip the next section. Write another scene. Go where the story is waiting for you. Come back to the other scene at a later time.

Helpful tip:

Instead of breaking your writing session into four parts, break it into five. Use your first writing session to sketch out an entire chapter, like an outline, but with bits and pieces of dialog and description. Figure out where you’re headed and a couple of key stops along the way. Knowing what you’re writing towards will make doing the actual, fleshed-out writing much easier and quicker.

You can also do an outline for the next day’s writing after you’ve gotten your 2000 words for the day in. Future you will be extremely pleased.

“Nikola Tesla For The First Time Describes His New System For Supplying Wireless Power To Run All The Earth’s Industries.”

By a series of discoveries and inventions just perfected, Nikola Tesla, the electrical scientist, has upset what has hitherto been regarded as one of the fixed laws of nature. “Every effect diminishes with distance,” is the way the textbooks have expressed it. Tesla now says that instead of decreasing like other forces, electricity may be made to increase in intensity with the distance traveled.

The full significance of this discovery may not be at once apparent. It is obvious, however, that it annihilates space. There can be no limit to the power of the electric wave which increases in intensity the further it travels.

For nearly 20 years Tesla has been working on his plan, he calls it his wireless “World System.” If it is put into successful execution it will convert the earth into a gigantic conduit, which will pass power for all earthly activities, and make possible communication with other planets.

From time to time Tesla has made partial announcements as his work progressed. This, however, is the first comprehensive account of his system as a whole that the inventor has consented to give to the world.

“Through ages past man has always attempted to project in some way or other energy into space. In all his attempts, no matter what agent he employed, he was hampered by the inexorable law of nature which says every effect diminishes with distance, generally as the square of the same, sometimes more rapidly.

“I saw at once that space was annihilated in all the three aspects; in the transport of our bodies and materials and in the earth, transmission of the energies necessary for our existence. You can imagine how profoundly I was affected by this revelation. Technically, it meant that the earth, as a whole, had certain periods of vibrations, and that by by impressing electrical vibrations of the same periods upon it, it could be thrown into oscillations of such nature that innumerable benefits could be derived.

“It is difficult to convey an idea of these inventions without resorting to technical terms. The first and best known of these is my transformer, which enables the production of electrical vibrations of transcending intensities. I have already attained activities of many millions of horse power; but this is nothing compared to those which I am expecting to get with my improved apparatus.

“The second is what I have termed my magnifying transmitter, which I look upon as my best electrical invention, and with which any distance can be bridged. I have already passed of this wonderful instrument and am confident that a message can be flashed to such a distance as the planet Mars.

“Some technical men would be disposed to look upon such statements as those of a dreamer, but it is only because they have not had opportunities to see experiments which I have actually performed. The third invention I have designated as the “Art of individualization,” which enables the transmission of an unlimited number of messages through a wire or wireless, without the slightest interference. Not before this improvement is universally adopted will the world fully realise the benefits of telegraphy and telephony. The fourth invention is my receiver, which concentrates the energy transmitted over a wide area into the operating device.”

What would the voltage in your transmitter be?

“In the transmission of telegraphic and telephonic messages I shall employ from five to ten million volts, but in transmitting power in great quantities, as much as one hundred million volts will be used.“

How will your “World System” compare with those now in use as regards to cost?

“We could easily afford to offer a transmission of telegraphic and telephonic messages to any terrestrial distance for five cents a word. In a short while no one will think it anything out of the way to dictate or to write a long letter across the Pacific.”

How long does it take for the transmission of a message, by your system, around the world?

“The exact time is, according to my measurements, 43-1000 of a second, which is a speed about 50 per cent greater than that of light.

“The impulse starts from my magnifying transmitter with infinite speed, slows first rapidly and then at a lesser rate until, when it has penetrated to a distance of 6000 miles from the transmitter, it proceeds with approximately the speed of light. From there on it accelerates, first slowly and then more rapidly, and reaches the opposite point of the globe again with infinite speed only to rebound and pass through the same phases on its way back to the transmitter.

“This movement of electricity through the Earth, which takes place strictly in accordance with a mathematical law, and enables a great number of accurate measurements and determinations to be made, which are of immense practical and scientific value.”

Is your universal marine service based upon this principle?

“Largely so. In setting up and maintaining stationary waves in the earth its entire surface is subdivided in perfectly definite zones of electric activity, so that any observer of all those data which are of importance to navigators as the latitude and longitude, the position with reference to a given point, the speed of travel, and the course followed. This method is quite exact and reliable, and once introduced will be instrumental in a great saving of time, life and property.”

When your system of time distribution is introduced what kind of devices will be used for indicating the hour?

“They will be ever so much simpler than the ordinary clocks or watches, being entirely devoid of wheel work. For personal use a small case will be provided resembling that of a watch which would indicate precisely the time and require no more attention than a compass for instance. The large clocks on towers and public edifices in general will be replaced by extremely simple devices operated on the same principle.

“All these will be ‘tuned’ to a wireless wave sent out at a certain time. This will automatically set the hands of every ‘tuned’ time piece.”

In operating stock tickers, will the present instruments have to be replaced by others?

“Not at all, they will remain intact. A great financier told me that this should be one of the most valuable and practical applications of my system, inasmuch as the instantaneous operation of such instruments all the world over will go far toward allaying panics and failures which are at present mostly due to the inadequacy and stagnation of channels of information.”

“A business man will be able to dictate in his office a letter which will appear in type at any other place he wishes without loss of time in the transmission. It will be exactly as though he had his stenographer close by. In the same manner it will be practicable to send a handwritten letter or even a check, and what is more important, it will not be possible to falsify the signature.”

Will the transmission of complex musical productions require complicated apparatuses?

“Not at all. The apparatus at any of the master plants, transmitting a great number of musical compositions, will be of necessity complicated, but the subscriber will need only a telephone receiver, and, if he desires exclusiveness, and individualizing device in connection, which, however, will be rarely required. He will be none the less able to listen to the most complex opera played in some remote party of the world. What is more, he can carry the entire outfit with him on his walks and travels, and whenever he desires to listen to the music he can do so.

"The wireless system which I have developed does not contemplate competition with established lighting systems in densely populated districts, but it offers an ideal solution for the illumination of isolated places. The light will be furnished by exhausted glass tubes, bent in all sorts of ornamental shapes, and is of surpassing beauty, resembling closely the daylight. The lamps will last forever. The entire apparatus for lighting the average country dwelling will contain no moving part whatever, and could be readily carried about in a small valise. It will be quite immaterial in which region of the earth the house to be lighted is located. Distance will not affect the charge.“

How far from the Earth’s surface can power be transmitted by this wireless system?

“To any distance; in fact, the greater the elevation above the ground the easier it is to supply the power to the vehicle, such as an airship crossing the ocean.”

What do you consider the most important application of your system?

"The transmission of power, of course. The operation of aerial machines alone will be of a revolutionizing influence, in as much as it will afford a perfect solution of this important problem.

"Another great field will be the irrigation and fertilization of the soil by wireless power. The time is not distance when a farmer will have installed on his place an apparatus for continuously manufacturing, from the gases of the atmosphere, nitric compounds which will be used to fertilize, while a motor will pump the water and perform other duties; all the energy being supplied from a plant perhaps thousands of miles away. This system can be extended so as to make productive vast tracts of now barren lands located in various countries. I believe that the export of wireless power will be one of the chief resources of the United States and other fortunately situated countries in times to come.“

By Marcel Roland. New York American, September 3, 1911.

1/5 back to school 2017 masterposts

school is starting soon (or has already started) and i also wanted to somehow thank you guys for 7k in a way other than the usual blog rate or blog awards. keep a look out for the other 4!

this is a collab with @studyruels. his masterpost is on making an aftetschool routine which you can check out here!

now, i’m naturally a morning person. i just am, and i always have been. no matter how late i go to bed my body thinks it’s a great idea to noT sleep in and wake up at 6 am every day (’: here are a few things i do to make it a little easier and enjoy my mornings!

1. GO TO BED EARLY. this is honestly a no brainer but STOP SPENDING HOURS ON YOUR PHONE WTH like it’s so harmful for your eyes and your mind and your brain and your body will thank you in the morning when your eyes aren’t burning with exhaustion. 

1.a. when i decided to stop being an irresponsible smol child who tried to stay up every night, i started setting alarms for going to sleep. so like at 9:00 (ok ik thats pretty early but thats usually when i go to bed), or maybe that’ll be like 10:00 or 10:30 for you so that you can go to bed around 11. but anyways, when you hear this alarm, it’s time to get off of your phone or laptop (-: send your gn streaks and texts, close insta (log out if u have to), and shut it all down. soon after, you will start to notice how tired you actually are without all that blue light distracting you !!!

2. read! this is a personal favorite just because i’m a huge nerd but reading right before bed is just killing 2 birds with one stone: you’re exercising your mind and subconsciously improving your writing skills (vocabulary and grammar) while making yourself very tired!! if you think reading, especially at night, is boring, you aren’t reading the right books for you.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. prepare yourself for the morning so it seems less dreadful. OPEN YOUR BLINDS BEFORE BED JUST DO IT OMG you will wake up with the sun. do a little miniclean of your room before bed so you’re not waking up to yesterday’s disaster. make your coffee the night before and leave it in the fridge if you like it iced in the morning. plan out what you’re going to wear tomorrow, as well as your lunch. shower (so u sleep better and/or dont have to do it in the morning) and brush your teeth. pamper yourself. set up fairy lights. just do anything that will cause you to wake up and go “jeez glad i did that last night; now i have more time and peace of mind”. 

4. find something to look forward to in the morning. this might be going to get coffee or tea with a friend in the morning, getting to wear the cute outfit and eat the delicious lunch that you prepped last night, or remembering that you’re going to see a movie after school. whatever it may be, let it motivate you to get up and start your day as soon as possible. 

5. turn off/disable snooze. do it. if your alarm app can’t do this, install an app that can. i also like to set up my alarm so that i have to do some challenging mental math to turn it off. 

5.a. make your alarm something that will cause you to get up. it doesn’t necessarily have to be something really annoying. it can be something upbeat and light that puts you in a good mood for the day. however, if you’re a really heavy sleeper then you might want to make it some obnoxious and loud sound so that you will be motivated just to get out of bed and turn it off. 

6. put your phone across the room. we’ve all heard of this one but most of us are too lazy to do it. at night, when you whip out that book, log off all your social media and then put your phone somewhere so far that you’ll have to physically get out of bed and turn off the alarm.

7. make your bed suit your aesthetic. this derives from the basic “make your bed” tip. sure, you can make your bed, and sure, it might motivate you to not get back in. but if you really struggle with this, buy one of those prepackaged bed sets that has a nice color scheme. once you make your bed, you’re not going to want to ruin that aesthetic tbh

8. keep a consistent sleep schedule, even on the weekends!! i’m not saying you have to wake up at 6 am even on saturdays, but don’t go from waking up at 6 to waking up at 12. maybe push your wake up time to 8:30 or 9 latest on the weekends. as you get used to waking early (and sleeping early, too!) you can slowly push back your weekend wake up time earlier and earlier until it’s almost identical to the time you wake up when you have school.


i hope this helps! good luck with this school year, everyone!

Study breaks are really important, but sometimes it can be difficult to think of what to do, or even know what kind of break to take. So here are some suggestions for breaks depending on how you’re feeling at the time. 

Some generic multipurpose breaks:

  1. Yoga or guided meditation.
  2. Moisturise your hands, or paint your nails.
  3. Go to the toilet, and get a drink.
  4. Go for a walk.
  5. Play a game online.
  6. Listen to some music.
  7. Write down a bit of your daydream.
  8. Make a meal.
  9. Play with a pet.
  10. Read an article/wiki page

For when you’re overwhelmed:

  1. Have a relaxing shower with a favourite body wash.
  2. Make sure to step away from your study space, this is important.
  3. Go for a walk; do a short yoga routine, or a 15 minute guided meditation.
  4. Talk to a friend or parent, see if they can give you some support.
  5. Give yourself a treat - like a packet of chocolate buttons, or something small you enjoy. Eat them, and savour them, away from your desk.

For when nothing seems to be coming together:

  1. Make a to-do list of what needs to be done.
  2. Look at the task as if you’ve never seen it before.
  3. Have lunch or a snack, or nice drink. Do it away from your desk.
  4. Do something you enjoy, like reading a bit of a book, or playing a playlist you like.
  5. Talk to someone about the problem; ideally a supportive parent, friend, or teacher

For when you are stressed and want to rip your hair out:

  1. Shower, or have a bath.
  2. Watch funny videos online, or read those funny reviews, like the Haribo gummy bears ones.
  3. A short yoga or guided meditation video can really help (and I’m not one of those ‘yay, yoga’ people, but it can really help).
  4. Do something you are capable of doing without much stress - this could be a chore, a hobby, or something random you like.
  5. Make yourself a drink you enjoy, make it as special as you can, and then find somewhere else to drink it.

When you are bored:

  1. Engage in productive procrastination.
  2. Learn a new skill - such as a basic crochet stitch, or how to start a fire without a lighter.
  3. Watch a TedTalk, or short documentary on YouTube.
  4. Make a study playlist, try to include some music you’ve not heard before.
  5. Find a new recipe to try / place to visit.
  6. Play a quick game online - bingo, pictionary, etc.

When you are hungry, but the bored kind of hungry:

  1. Try eating something that takes longer to prepare. Not just a snack that’s quick to grab, but something that takes a little more time. Cut up your fruit, make it look nice; make several snacks that can be stored for latter or another day.
  2. Take a few minutes to some pictures of your study space or notes, edit them and make them into a post ready to pop on your blog.
  3. Go for a wander. It needn’t be outside, even walking around the stacks in a library and looking for some interesting titles can give you a break (and an inflated reading list, so do this one at your peril).
  4. Paint your nails, or do some cuticle maintenance by moisturising them.
  5. Spend five minutes on Pinterest looking at ideas for crafts or something you enjoy (make sure to set a timer for this, it’s easy to be distracted).

When you haven’t taken a break in a while because breaks are for wussies:

  1. Read about the Pomodoro method and how it helps boost productivity. Use a free timer app to give it a go.
  2. Zentangle, relaxation colouring, going to the toilet, etc.
  3. Just chil-lout. Seriously, do something to relax yourself. You need a break!

When literally anything is more interesting than what you’re supposed to be doing:

  1. Go for a short walk, or do a few stretches away from your study space.
  2. Watch a TedTalk on something interesting or a totally random subject.
  3. Find an article/wiki page on something you know nothing about. Remember to limit yourself, time-wise, on this sort of thing.
  4. Organise your bag/folder/pencil case (anything small you have on you).
  5. Listen to some music in a target language/language you would like to learn.

When something keeps distracting you:

  1. If it’s something you can get rid of, try to do that.
  2. If it’s something you need to do, if possible, then to do it.
  3. If it’s a thought that won’t go away, take five minutes and write it down in as much detail as you can, and then put it away for later.
  4. Leave your study space for a moment, get up and walk around a bit, maybe stretch your neck, back and arms.
  5. Tell your pet what’s wrong. Bonus if you do this in another language.

For when you feel like giving up:

  1. This is a good time to step away from your work and doing something else entirely for a little while. Take a longer break, watch an episode of a show you like, or browse for some new music, read a bit of a book.
  2. Take a shower.
  3. Make yourself a drink and something to eat, and eat it away from your desk. Relax a bit while you’re doing so, and set up a pomodoro-style timer when you get back to studying, so you can remember you’ll soon have another break.
  4. Engage in a small act of kindness.
  5. Pet a cute fluffy friend.

When you feel entirely unproductive:

  1. Perform some productive procrastination! Vacuum the house; wipe down a window, scrub the kitchen tiles, reorganise your underwear drawer. Pick a chore that needs doing and do that. Honestly, even just tidying a bookshelf, or taking your washing out of your room, or packing away some clothes can help. Do something where you will be able to see a visible difference that your actions have made.
  2. Spend half an hour on a hobby you like - knit, make origami swans, fiddle around with a robotics project.
  3. That thing you’ve been putting off? Go on, go and do it, and tick it off your check-list.

I hope that these give you a few ideas for much-needed, and productivity-boosting breaks.

The Ultimate Study Masterpost (updated)

I decided to compile EVERY RESOURCE that I have found useful. I hope they help you too!

Motivation/self-discipline

A reality check

self-discipline

Setting smart goals

self-discipline > motivation masterpost

Useful tips cos its not easy

Honestly love this mindset soo much

powerful steps to positive thinking

don’t study to pass the test

little reminders

Self-motivation

reach ur full potential

don’t beat urself up for procrastinating

how to get motivated

Burn-out

questions to ask b4 giving up 

what to do when u don’t want to study 

how to survive a crappy day 

When ur burnt out 

Sometimes ya just need to take the time for your body 

dealing with failure 

how to learn from ur mistakes 

how to be more thick-skinned 

getting grades back up 

how to get ur life together 

Fun study tings

These concepts by studyblr always seem to make me want to study 

More study moods 

And more! 

Idk why but these study moods all seem fun to try out/just relate to 

hogwarts houses as students 

bk 2 skl tips a la harry potter 

the houses as comforting things 

types of students 

disney princess study moods 

positive weekly aesthetics 

Organisation

study space hacks 

Getting ur shizzle together 

Organisation!! 

Being organised + studying 

weekly scheduling 

PLAN UR MONTH HUN 

school organisation 

How to plan for study 

Getting ahead 

What to do when you miss class 

schedule ur study time 

when you have TOO MUCH to do 

time management tips 

more time management 

eisenhower matrix 

study space ideas 

more time management tips 

keep ur bedroom tidy 

Productivity

productivity 101 

types of procrastination and how to stop urself 

The ivy lee method for productivity 

being productive after school 

Being productive in the mornings 

Being productive in general 

Self care and productivity 

6 ways to avoid procrastination 

self care n productivity 

being productive while travelling

staying focused while studying

3x the productivity

productive study sessions

habits for max productivity

Masterposts

Honestly areistotle does the best masterposts

Nifty school masterpost

A studyblr masterpost

Tumblr resources 4 the school year

Masterpost of everything pt 1

And pt 2

Pt1 of a studying masterpost

And pt2

a huge masterpost

Some gr8 masterposts

Some oF THE BEst gcse resources

Good language science and maths resources

note-taking methods

Printables

awesome free printables

Academic printables

planning printables

Bullet journals

starting a bujo

ideas for bujo pages if ur into that

more bujo ideas

journalling ideas

Study

awesome tips 4 studying

Straight from the horse’s mouth (no offense)

Another gr8 round of study tips

When to use what method

Study tips 4 exams

rare stoody tips

Studying smarter

effective studying

Studying successfully in college

study smarter,, not harder,,

study habits in and out of class

Study skills masterpost

Study methods to try this year

Studying like a straight a student

lazy kid’s study guide

how to use sticky notes

study tips for diff learning styles

how NOT to study

no 2 low stress study strategy

how to make a study guide

how to actually start studying

studying on the go

different ways to study

memorising content

study guides and such

complete guide to studying

secret study tips

how to study mindmap

study survival kit

Exams

studying for an exam in a short time

Exams don’t have to stink

advice for GCSE students

finals guide

how to study for a big test

productive ways to study for exams

exam season guide

studying before exams

studying for a test

5 day study plan

School life

We all have a shit teacher so here’s how to deal with them

how to get a 4.0 and generally do well

tips for high schoolers

how to approach classes

homework help and hints

Foolproof guide to school success

school survival guide

How to get a’s without the frills

secrets of str8 A students

More tips for getting straight a’s

getting straight a’s in uni

general life tips

A level advice from a newbie

dealing with bad teachers

students guide to getting ur life sorted

how to never fall behind in class

Getting straight a’s yet again

college study tips

how to not lose ur shit in college

improving grades to str8 a’s

success in school masterpost

Notes

taking efficient notes

Making revision notes

Upgrade yo notes

taking effective class notes

More on notetaking

Taking notes

lecture notes

More notes which is similar to what i do

taking notes from a textbook

rewriting notes

how to take notes from a textbook

Back to school

Making your life a lil bit easier this year ;)

brace urself for the new school year

More back to school

More back to school tips

this is great for back to school

Back to school masterpost there are so many of these but still

Back to school tips that acc help

What to do during summer

another one for the last days of summer

Back 2 skl r u ready??

going to school like a badass

Career/adult stuff

Really good for anything to do with jobs

Template for sending thx after interviews

THE BEST COVER LETTER ADVICE ADDAKFASK

Resume cheat sheet

Great personal statement guide (UCAS)

how to nail a job interview

how to save money

Bettering urself

how to live a better life

Some things that are easy to forget

Feeling strong and ready for anything

Things to do

Healthier habits

Life cleansing

Health tips to practice regularly

Some suggestions

self care hedgehog

best advice

Relax

productive breaks that AREN’T studying

Cute tips based on the senses

Ways to relax

Treat yo self without breaking the bank

100 tips woah

a word of advice

self care tips for students

classic book recs

self-help masterpost

101 book recommendations

what type of headache u have

study breaks for any situation

not feeling gr8?

self care tips

relaxing after a long day

basic self care

cute rabbit yoga

take care of yourself when you’re busy

stress relief

kinds of study breaks

feel better in 5 mins

Style/skincare

Back to school glo up

how to feel like a nymph

how to feel like an ancient empress (my FAV)

how to feel like a faerie queen/king

How to feel like a dryad

How to feel like a princess getting ready for a politically important ball

how to feel like a star maiden

how to be a delicate angel

how to look like autumn

THE BEST sugar scrub recipe

English

annotating efficiently

annotating a text

writing x characters when u aren’t x

annotating literature

How to annotate an english text

ap lit terms and tips

ap lit review

list of literary techniques

ultimate english masterpost

grade 9s in english

english lit essay tips

reading literature

literary analysis essay

Maths

GCSE maths youtube channels

how to study maths

how to gets a’s in maths

Science

Awesome for chemistry

lil biology masterpost

science resources

Languages

Spanish filler words

small talk in french

How to get an a in a foreign language

language learning made easy

how to pretend to be fluent - this is sooo good!!

learning languages without studying

how to study languages

goals for language learners

Essays

Essay writing websites for when ur normal program ain’t cutting it

how to structure essays

essay basics

Writing academically

Battling essays like mulan

Writing a 5 paragraph essay

Other subjects

a guide to new spec history

Morning/night routines

study in the morning

before skl checklist

nail dat afterschool routine ya feel?

morning habits to get into

more sleepytime

waking up easily

Morning habits for productivity

How to wake up

waking up happier :)

get up early and enjoy the day!!

Better sleep = better health = better grades

Sleeeeep

Sleep

fall asleep faster

sleep better

ideas for night routine

balancing sleep and school

waking up early

evening habits worth starting

morning routine and tips

Tech

STAY OFF UR PHONE

Gr8 study apps

educational apps

Food + drink

Recipes for students bc u gotta eat

study snacks

Drinks for diff moods

quick food recipes

5 easy recipes

feed yo brain

study snacks when u dont have time

staying healthy while studying

study snacks for cramming and all-nighters

minimal ingredient foods

more study snacks

hot chocolate ideas

student meal planning

areistotle’s food masterpost

gr8 coffee shops in london

Music

Haven’t tried this but seems cool

when you don’t want to listen to beethoven for the 67569540th time

ambient sounds for writers

melodic studying

concept playlists

playlists for diff moods

some v effective study music

Okay so thats pretty much every single useful thing I’ve ever reblogged. If you have any more suggestions please PLEASE let me know because I’m going to constantly update this list and any additions are welcome :) + I have removed the links that don’t work and have added more :) 

school starts for me in a little over a week so i thought i’d make a quick back to school masterpost! this is a compilation of tips that i found helpful from youtube study channels, as well as things that i’ve personally done to make school easier. 

  • do your best work as soon as school starts
    • usually the first week(s) of school have a relatively light homework load, but don’t slack off!
    • this is the time to put in the most effort
    • you’ll be able to see which subjects you want to spend more or less time on throughout the semester
    • also, if you turn in great work, participate in class, and go to office hours right from the start, you’re going to keep up those good habits as the school year continues
    • plus, you’ll leave a fantastic impression on your teachers :)
  • use! a! planner!
    • cliché? yes, but it works
    • planners are a great tool to organize so many different aspects of your life, not just school
    • write down your assignments as soon as you get them so that you won’t forget anything, and so that you can plan your day/week accordingly
    • try to space out your assignments if you can so that you don’t spend all of your time on just one subject
    • describe your tasks. instead of saying “study chemistry” (which will turn into binge-watching youtube), say “practice balancing chemical equations”
    • planners are also great for setting and keeping track of goals! 
    • BUT, if planners don’t work for you, use some other way to keep track of your tasks and your time - to do lists, schedules, checklists, bullet journals, etc. choose what works for you!
    • just make sure that you keep all of your tasks in one place. 
  • break down larger tasks, such as projects or papers, throughout the week
    • do a little every day instead of cramming all the work into one night
    • bonus: try to get your assignments reviewed by someone like a teacher or a classmate before turning them in - most teachers are happy to look at drafts and give suggestions that will improve your work and your grade!
    • also, for big projects, my procrastinating brain has found it helpful to ‘reset the deadlines’ - work so that you’ll finish your bigger assignments a few days before they’re actually due
  • a big part of breaking down tasks and planning is also knowing your own study habits
    • try to figure out how long you spend on certain types of assignments, and know how much time you should allocate to specific tasks
  • when you have a choice, go for meaningful
    • for some assignments, such as essays where you can choose your own prompt, it’s easy to choose the easy prompt
    • but whenever you can, try to go for the prompt that will help you to deepen your understanding of the material you’ve learned
    • teachers who reuse prompts will probably see a lot of the “same” essays every year, so this is a way to stand out in a positive way!
  • if you can, declutter
    • or at least try to clean up your study space for the school year
    • having a neat space to work can really go a long way
    • throw out those old pens that have run out of ink and are honestly just there to look pretty
    • also: invest in good lighting because you gotta take care of those beautiful eyes
  • find classmates who can be your study buddies
    • if you know who the “top students” in your class are, seek out their help! get contact info!
    • if you miss classes or have concepts that you’re having trouble with, you’ll always have someone to ask
    • i mean you should always feel comfortable with asking your teacher for help, but it’s nice to have someone to quickly proofread your paper or review for a test with
    • peer tutors are also a great resource!
  • take the time to establish new habits
    • maybe come up with a morning/afternoon/night routine so that you know you’ll spend some time every day being productive
    • and don’t let yourself off the hook here!!
    • some ideas for habits: hydrating properly every day, working out, getting enough sleep every night, avoiding procrastination, journaling, focusing on one thing at a time / not multitasking, going to office hours consistently, participating in class
    • be honest with yourself. what are some things you do every day that you might not need to do every day? and what are some things you hope you can add to your daily routine?
  • speaking of habits, fix that sleep schedule asap
    • if you want to pay attention in class and turn in good work, you’re going to need enough sleep
    • i would recommend sleeping early and waking up early over sleeping late - it just feels less awful throughout the day and it shouldn’t do as much damage to your sleep schedule as one all nighter will
  • get yo priorities straight
    • learn to say “no” to things that will take up your time but won’t really benefit you
    • recognize that not everything is important
  • that being said! take breaks!!
    • burnout is real my friends
    • a lot of people say that you should use your downtime to work, and you definitely can if you want to and feel able to
    • it’s so easy to feel like you have to be studying or working 24/7, and that’s not true
    • if you feel like you really need a break, take a break
    • spend time with your family and friends! treat yourself with some ice cream! go for a walk (without your phone)! call someone who lives far away from you to say you miss them!
    • being productive is great, and even if you’re the kind of person that can handle that much work without burning out, that stress will release itself elsewhere - some harsh words you didn’t mean, some small thing that annoyed you more than it should have

ok that was a lot crammed into one post, but i have one more important point: be excited for school!!! it may be stressful at times (most of the time) but school is a place where we learn things and better ourselves and open our minds to new perspectives! i am personally so psyched for 10th grade and i think having that attitude will make back to school a lot easier :)

i hope some of these tips help you, and as usual feel free to drop me an ask about anything! i’ll be writing more of these “quick tip”-type masterposts for back to school because they’re a looot less time consuming for me to make (being honest here). let me know what you think of this format! and if you have any requests for masterpost topics i’m always open to those. 

hello and welcome to my first studyblr post!! i’ve seen a ton of these around, but not many have all the tips i’ve learned throughout high school. i go to a private preparatory school and i’m top 5 in my class and i lead many extracurriculars. last year was the CRAZIEST year of my life, but with a certain mindset & only a few all nighters, i managed all A’s in all advanced courses. So, here are the tips i’ve learned!!

  • write stuff down!!!! i know it is the most obvious thing, but writing down anything you need to remember, whether that be homework, tests, quizzes, events, due dates, reminders…anything! checking off these things at night is so satisfying and you won’t forget anything important. when i’m in the #zone, my mind often thinks of stupid questions/thoughts. I’ll jot these questions/misc. thoughts unrelated to what i’m focusing on to come back to later and explore!! (for example, i was doing an frq for econ and i thought of doing this post, so i wrote it down in my journal.)
  • organization. there are so many masterposts out there to help you with organization. my method included binders & comp. notebooks.. that’s about it! i’m not very organized
  • get to know teachers. this is probably what helped a lot my junior year. not only is maintaining good relationships with teachers good for you, it can be beneficial to your grade as well. when you make friends with teachers you always have someone to talk/rant to & they always give you the inside gossip about teachers/other students. have coffee/lunch w them, or talk about theories from the class they teach. they give you a lot of perspectives on the course and cool ideas!
  • manage your time. again, another broad statement. but what i did every night kept me sane. my schedule every day after classes (including saturday) was: 
    • practice until 5 
    • extracurriculars until dinner (6:30-7) 
    • minimal homework until done (usually 1-2 hours)
    • study for 1+ hours if needed (8-9 pm)
    • enjoyment time (at least 30 min)

while this may not be a lot for most people, it was a lot for me and i needed time to make myself happy. school and friends make me happy, but so does alone time. putting this minimum of 30 min a day (if i don’t fall asleep before that) really helped me get through demanding courses because i had an incentive. this schedule also helped me avoid procrastination!! ALSO, I prioritized like hell. Honestly, if homework was a completion grade, I wouldn’t try at all unless i needed the practice. Same goes with classes. the ones i had high A’s in, i would sometimes sacrifice a homework grade in order to get enough sleep or study for another test. while this is not the most ethical way of doing it, it helped.

  • Avoid procrastination. procrastination is your worst enemy. I used to be so bad, but now i’m getting better. this is key. in order to beat procrastination, you have to have self discipline. simple as that. get inspired. for many of you, it’s your studyblr community, for me it was for personal pride and competition. you must execute to get the job done. it will be worth it in the end.
  • do the little things. put away the phone. put music on if it helps. stretch a little. get some water. get as content and comfortable as you can when you study.
  • SLEEP!!!! that’s all i can say. sleep sleep sleep. it’s important. i know life is busy, but make time for sleep if you can. mental illness is a bitch, and sometimes it can make falling asleep hard. i know. just try your best & that’s enough. anytime i had free time during the day, i slept. nothing is more important than sleep, and if i didn’t get at least 8 hours of sleep the night before, i tried to catch up as best as i could. your brain needs a break to refuel and you will feel refreshed the next day. 
  • Eating healthy. i rarely see this tip around (maybe i’m not searching hard enough) but i think it’s important. eating healthy is excellent for your brain function & body function. it’s hard, especially in college, to have to motivation (or money) to make your own dinner, lunch & breakfast everyday. but. it’s. worth. it. i can’t stress this enough. i feel more awake and energized at school and workouts and your body has to have these nutrients to keep functioning well. 
  • Exercise. gross i know, please don’t hurt me, but exercise goes right with eating healthy. the better you feel about yourself, the better you will do in school. simple enough. you will have more motivation, energy, and happiness with a good diet and exercise. running daily and occasionally swimming gets me though the week, and while sometimes i don’t want to workout, i always feel good in the end. find something you like doing and stick to it. try to work out 3 times a week. after every workout, i am always motivated to study
  • UNDERSTAND THE MATERIAL. it’s so obvious, but so many people just memorize. while you have to memorize any new thing you learn in the beginning, there is a time when you must apply what you memorized. you must actually think about why this term/concept is what it is based on memorized facts. you must see the whole picture and how little things relate and why they do. last year i realized this and it worked wonders. for me, if i understood the big picture, i knew the facts by heart. it dawned on me that you must train the mind to think. when going through notes, quizzes, tests, and studying i always asked myself why is this important and what it relates to. retention. is. key. understanding, and not memorizing facts will help so so much!!
  • STUDY BUDDIES. i can’t stress enough how much this helped me. coming from a boarding school, it’s easy to work on homework with friends all the time. to review for a test, my friends in the class would all meet and discuss the material. i’m an auditory learner, so this worked 10x better. what i’ve learned is that if you can teach it, you know it. when i could explain concepts to my friends, i knew i didn’t have to study that. if questions came up when i was trying to discuss my line of thinking, i revisited my notes and tried to understand why i didn’t get it. if we had study guides, we would all do the question and discuss why we got our answers after. for me, discussion is the best way to get new perspectives and ideas as well as understanding the topic better. (i also love talking so).
  • ask questions. even if its stupid. even if you’re just curious. always ask them. 
  • study environment. outside (if it wasn’t terrible weather) is where i love to study with friends. if it is snowing or raining, i go to the library or a local coffee shop. it really just depends on my mood. find an area where you feel the most productive!
EXCLUSIVE: BTS Celebrate Their Biggest Album Ever and Reveal What They Love About Themselves

Welcome to BTS’ next chapter.

The K-pop boyband shocked the biggest names in music when they beat out artists like Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez for the Top Social Artist award at the Billboard Music Awards in May – but their success is no surprise.

With 8.4 million Twitter followers and a fan base so dedicated it’s referred to as ARMY, BTS is one of the hottest acts in Asia, and soon, the United States.

“There is much more recognition of BTS music than before the BBMAs,” V, one of the band’s seven members, told ET. “Which means fans have higher expectations than before. We’re trying to live up to it and I hope the new album can be the answer to that expectation.”

The new album, Love Yourself: Her, dropped on Monday and was even shattering records weeks before its release with over one million pre-orders, according to BTS’ label, BigHit Entertainment. By Tuesday, Love Yourself had already topped the iTunes Album charts at No. 1 in a record-breaking 73 countries, the largest debut release for any South Korean artists. And “DNA,” the album’s lead single, is also blowing up on YouTube with nearly 30 million views since its early Monday release.

ET caught up with V, Rap Monster, Jimin, Jin, Jungkook, Suga and J-Hope on Tuesday, where they opened up about their incredible success, their fifth EP, and what’s next.

Q. Love Yourself: Her is already a huge hit around the world. Were you surprised?

Rap Monster: We’re surprised at the huge response when each album is released but it is beyond our expectation and overwhelming this time. Our new songs topped iTunes chart in 73 countries and made its debut at No. 4 on the US iTunes Song chart. “DNA” music video views surpassed 10 million in just 8 hours, which was the fastest for Korean artists ever. We are very grateful to our fans worldwide for appreciating our music and video.

Q. The music video for “DNA” is a little different from your past music videos, and includes some intense choreography – what does this mean for other music videos off this album? How long did it take to shoot the video?

J-Hope: BTS’ music videos always have intense choreography, but it was even more difficult to learn all the dance moves before the shoot. It may look different compared to previous videos due to complex use of computer graphics and edit styles for “DNA” video, but it took three full days to shoot. Everyone was great in learning the choreography, although there were many different moves we had to perform for the video. Personally, I think Jungkook and Jimin really pulled it off nicely.

Q. You collaborated with The Chainsmoker’s Andrew Taggart on the song “Best of Me” after meeting at the BBMAs. What was the collaboration process like? What did you learn from him?

Rap Monster: We first met at the BBMAs last May. [We] were invited to The Chainsmokers’ rehearsal backstage for the award show and we had fun talking about music and many things. The duo sent us several tracks after we returned home from BBMAs and we selected a couple of tracks to work together. “Best of Me” was the best for our new album in many ways so we decided to write lyrics and finish it together. The song came out great and we were all satisfied with the collaborative process. Andrew is awesome; he’s passionate about music and I think there should be more opportunities for us to work again in near future.

Q. Who’s your next big dream collaborator?

Jungkook: My biggest dream collaborator would be Justin Bieber because I just love his voice and the way he collaborates with other artists. However, I’d like to give it a try with whoever has the right chemistry with BTS musically.

Suga: I’m pretty much open to anyone who’s unique and has mutual appreciation in the music as BTS. I have some tracks and songs written for future collaboration and I’m happy to work with artists who have the right voice and taste.

Q. The song “Skit: Billboard Music Awards,” features Rap Monster’s speech from the awards show – what made you choose to incorporate that into your new album?

Rap Monster: It was one of many ideas we had for this album and we all thought that it would mean a lot to BTS and our fans if we have it permanently in the album and cherish that special moment for everyone. We’re facing the second chapter with Love Yourself: Her in terms of music and life and the BBMAs is like a new turning point for BTS in many ways.

Q. Rap Monster already revealed that Barack Obama was an inspiration for “MIC Drop” – Why? Who else were you inspired by on this album?

Suga: There are so many things that inspire us. For me, it’s people around me. And for RM, it can be books he reads. In general, what fans talk about and think about become a very important source of inspiration to us, because we want to write something that’s real to people, especially those who listen to BTS’ music.

Q. During your live stream on Monday, Rap Monster said that his favorite song is “Ocean,” but that song wasn’t released with the album. What can you tease about when the song will drop, and what it sounds like?

Rap Monster: It’s one of two hidden tracks you can listen to only on the physical album. “Ocean” has a lot of things I thought about since my debut in BTS four years ago. I have lived through many different dreams, worries and emotions in past years and I wanted to share those moments in the song. Sound-wise, there’s guitar and synth and the song is over five minutes, which is quite long. I hope people like it as one of the surprises I’ve prepared.

Q. You changed up your hair color since we last saw you – who decides when it’s time to change your look?

Jimin and J-Hope: The hair color decision is based on the concept of the new album and the timing is discussed with the whole production timeline. Each member’s opinion counts, so our stylists and creative team propose optional colors for us to choose from. But at the end of the day, they’re professionals and they know what they’re doing and in most cases, the proposed colors turn out to be the best for each member.

Q. This new album marks a new chapter in your careers after School, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life and Wings. What do you want fans to know about this new era of BTS?

Rap Monster: We tried many new things for this album and I’d like to label it as “innovative,” if I may. There will be new styled songs, new video, and many new things from now on. We want to evolve as artists and develop what we have within ourselves. If we ever slow down or even fail for our trials, it’s OK and we’ll be and stay as BTS. In addition, I’d like people to love themselves and think about what true love is while listening to the new album, because real love calls for courage to appreciate myself as is.  

Q. What do each of you love about yourselves?

Jin: I love my face and how it looks, which I appreciate very much.

Jimin: I love my attitude towards work and tendency for perfection.

V: My newly discovered talent to shoot great photos.  

Q. You’re wrapping up your tour this December. When will you be back performing in the U.S.?

Rap Monster: We do have plans for a world tour in 2018 so we will definitely go back to the U.S. soon and meet our fans as much as we can. If there’s any special opportunity for us any time soon, we’ll make sure to share it with you first.

Source.

... And Action! (Bill Skarsgard X Reader)

anonymous requested: Oi ! i really like ur writings and was wondering if you do bill skarsgard/pennywise stuff ? if you do can you write a oneshot where Y/N plays the older sister (like shes in her twenties or smth) of beverly and pennywise kills her ? but Bill Skarsgard (he plays Pennywise) has a thing for Y/N and really hopes to impress her but it kinda goes wrong in someway ? idek but it’s been a idea i’ve had for ages ! thankss !  

Warnings: Spoilers -? Maybe? IT is a horror movie so, murder and choking. Also brief brief brief topics of vomit.

Word Count: 1880

A/N: I’m fully aware this is one shot is a bit bizarre and definitely a specific niche (not one that I share necessarily) but I feel like I need to preface this by saying this is simply just for fun. PSA Bev Marsh doesn’t have an older sister Y/N’s role is purely for this work

Originally posted by romanandme

Ever since Y/N got the call telling her she, Y/N L/N, was to play the part of Laura Marsh, her stomach still hasn’t unfolded itself. It was still all balled up in the pit of her lower abdomen, like she could hurl at any time. It had been there through the three months of filming they had done and she concluded that it would probably never leave.

Her character didn’t play much of a part in the loser’s club, but Y/N’s character was given her own story in the film. She was Laura Marsh, the real town ‘slut’  even though she often used her little sister Bev as a scapegoat. She hung out with Patrick Hocksetter and Henry Bower, and was usually one of Bev and the loser’s tormentors. Laura was a bitch by all standards of convention, even Y/N could admit, which was her death scene was supposed to be simultaneously terrifying and reliving.  

Y/N watched as the loser’s from her black chair as they played hand games and laughed together on the pavement. The blacktop was so hot! She thought, how the hell did they stand it? Y/N technically had only stopped being a kid three years ago (she was 21 now) but she still could never remember a time where she was so uncaring.

“Do ya’ know when they’re gonna start already? Jesus lets just get on with the scene already!” The slightly squeaky voice of Nicholas Hamilton (Henry Bowers) abruptly asked beside her. Three months ago she would’ve jumped, but now she didn’t even think about it. She heard a chair scraping against the ground and it groaned with the weight of Nick’s body. She turned and smiled at him, placing her thick and annotated script onto her lap. He was wearing an orange wife beater tanktop and Y/N could see redness on his shoulders beginning to form.

“Whoa I die in this scene! You want me gone that much, huh?” Y/N asked, feigning hurt as she chuckled lightly. It was the most unfortunate death for poor Laura Marsh, first she was kissed and then left by her boyfriend (which just so happened to be Henry Bowers) in the sewers of all places, then she was brutally ripped apart by a clown wearing his face. Y/N knew that the younger actor was anxious for his first on-screen make out (he had told her so time and time again) but she hoped the playful conversation would calm his nerves.  

Y/N was nervous too but for a different reason entirely. She was an experience actress, she had crossed all the necessary rights of passage, yet she was so nervous. Y/N had talked to Bill Skarsgard twice and she couldn’t shake her stupid, girlish crush. She hardly knew the guy for fuck’s sake! She had wanted so much to come from this movie, It was her first big production movie, but now she was most certainly gonna screw up. How the hell could she pretend to be terrified of the guy when she was secretly thinking ‘I want you to rub my mouth on your mouth’?

“No! No!” Nick assured, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s not the death I’m looking forward to,” he whispered under his breath not so subtly. A few moments of hot silence followed before he reached over and grabbed the script from Y/N’s lap. He lazily fanned himself with it boyishly.

“You’ve got another coupla scenes after this so it’s not like you’re not going anywhere!” He joked as he tried in vain to cool himself off. His voice was shaking slightly and his laughs were constrained, like he wasn’t breathing in enough. Y/N cocked her eyebrow and waited for a few seconds before she made a lunge for her script. She, of course, missed it and hit her elbow on the wooden arm rest of his chair.

“C’mon why do you carry this thing anyhow? Everyone knows you memorized this thing cover to cover the instant you got it.” Nick teased stretching his arm away from Y/N as he peered at all of her highlights and somewhat embarrassing notes.

Y/N tried to crack a smile, but it was true, she did take it everywhere. How could she not? How else could she ensure she’d pull through? Besides was it so wrong for her to make sure everything went perfectly?

Nevertheless, she was beginning to suspect that Nick knew something that he shouldn’t, that sneaky little son of a bitch. She was about to reply with a typical snarky remark but she was interrupted by Andy (the director) shouting, “Y/N, Nick, and Bill - Scene 6 please!” Her heart sank as her body began to move without her brain’s consent. Nick had already jumped up and ran over to Andy enthusiastically. Meanwhile, Y/N’s thighs peeled up from her chair and she awkwardly waddled over to join them.

Andy took one glance at her before waving a makeup artist down and whispering in her ear. How ironic that this makeup artist looked like a scary clown herself, what with all that highlighter. The girl took a dry rag and began to dab Y/N’s face a bit, before she was pulled onto set by someone’s face she didn’t even get to see.

Nick grabbed Y/N’s hand and lightly guided her into position, awaiting Andy to shout “Action!” Y/N could still see the kids offscreen playing their hand games, but now one of them had begun throwing little balls of mud.  

“Alright! Is everyone in position?!” Andy asked looking around as if he were waiting for someone to point out a problem. He nodding to the man holding the slate, before loudly shouting “AND ACTION!”

Nick immediately pushed Y/N’s hips up against the walls of the sewers and she giggled obnoxiously. His lips roughly greeted hers in a strained, but very teenager, kiss. The kiss lasted only for a couple of seconds before he pulled away and wiped his mouth, following the script to a tee.

“You’re getting better.” He commented rudely and went back to give her another kiss. But Y/N’s character, Laura pushed his chest back, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Henry?” Y/N made sure to smack her lips together, to cock her head, and roll her eyes.

“It means that I thought sluts like you were supposedta’ be good at kissin’. But I guess sluts aren’t really known for their kissin’ anyways.” Again, Nick went in for a kiss, but Y/N pushed him back and feigned disbelief.  

Only open your mouth slightly, stop cocking your head, frown, stare, make your eyes water Y/N went through exactly what she had to do in the mirror time and time again, perfecting every part of her express- Crap, lower your chin and …. cry!

Nick glanced at her, though by now her character was balling. “You’re a fucking crazy bitch. You know that right? How much do you charge again?” He asked so sourly the words curdled in his mouth.

“Just get the fuck outta here!” Y/N yelled and she could see, out of her peripheral vision, Andy mouthing along to the words. Nick smirked evilly, before exiting the set and giving her an encouraging off screen thumbs up. Y/N slumped down and cried pathetically, just as it was written. But eventually she stood and stumbled around in the sewers, crying all the way. She could feel the presence of the camera over her shoulder as it followed her like a ghost. Abruptly, the sound of demonic laughter reverberated around the metal of the sewer hitting Y/N’s ears. Bill was too good at that. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand. Her character stopped walking and wiped her nose with the back of her cranberry colored sweatshirt.

A floating red balloon bobbed through the air as it came softly down to where Y/N was standing. It bobbed so peacefully (like the script had said), so her character tried to reach out to get it like a  young child. Perhaps poor slut Laura Marsh needed comfort too, Y/N pondered.

“AND PENNYWISE GO!” Andy shouted, marking where CGI would be used to create a horrifying, deformed hell version of Bill’s beautiful face. Y/N jumped and let out a throaty, raspy scream, the same scream she was hired for. She felt cold hands on her sweatshirt before she saw Bill, but once she did she couldn’t help to scream again. It was nightmarish, with his enlarged forehead and pointed smile.

The clown pinned Y/N up against the wall, which would’ve actually choked her if it had not been for the slight incline that let her tiptoes hang on. She gasped and sputtered, still crying and struggling pathetically. “HO HO HEHEHE!” The clown laughed in her ear and the sound shocked her so much that Y/N lost her footing, her toes couldn’t get a grip on the wet floor of the sewer. Bill was already so much taller than her at 6’4” that in order to deliver the lines properly, he had begun brought her up to his face. She gripped tightly onto his gloved hands as she coughed and began to feel a bit light headed as he continued to laugh maniacally.

Just kill me already! Y/N painfully thought, she would hate to be the reason for the failed take. But Pennywise, or Bill, never seemed to talk fast enough and Y/N was really beginning to feel the effects as she tried desperately to gulp in air.

“I - I,” Wheeze. “C-c-can’t-t,” Wheeze.  

Immediately like a switch had been pulled, she felt the pressure on her throat release as she fell to the ground into the disgusting water. She gulped in sweet air like she had never breathed before and Andy, god bless him, finally shouted “Cut!”

“Y/N! Are you alright!? I really didn’t mean to! I mean I thought maybe - but - I’m so sorry!” Pennywi- Bill shouted, helping her up by placing his hand on the small of her back. It was so odd hearing him be so gentle and polite while wearing such a terrifying costume. His eyes, which five seconds ago where full of such rage, now were softened and sad. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice,” Bill said exasperatedly and guided her over to where Andy sat, all the while she was still breathing in and out deeply.

“Y/N! Y/N! What happened!” Y/N heard the voices of the child actors as they ran over to inspect the situation.

“It was the heat you dufas!” One of the kids proclaimed obviously, as they patted her shoulder. But all Y/N could focus on was the sound of her heart beating as she panted heavily.

“I’m …  fine guys.” Y/N confirmed as she rubbed her neck tenderly. Now that she finally had air in her lungs, the pain of where Bill’s fingers had wrapped around her throat set in.

“I’m so sorry,” Bill repeated as he tried to give her kindest smile he could, buck tooth, blood drenched and everything.

There’s a Ball?

So, this was a prompt. I have included the ask at the very end this time because I don’t want to give away the spoiler! Another one that was slightly longer than expected. Oh well. 

———————————–

            “Did you hear?” A boy whispered in delight, voice echoing around the now silent corridor. Draco rolled his eyes heavily. What was with immature people being obsessed with gossip? One would think that there would be better things to talk about than mindless shite.

             “Harry Potter is coming back for the Remembrance Ball next month!”

               Draco froze as he fought the urge to demand the boy to spill his sources. It wouldn’t do well to bring himself attention, especially about Potter.

               Excited whispers broke out as they all waited for Slughorn to open his door for class.

               “Where did you hear that?” Smith asked doubtfully. “Someone else brought up Potter at the beginning of the year but it turned out to be false.”

               For once, Draco was rather grateful for the Hufflepuff’s insight. He just hoped that it wouldn’t be a recurring thing.

               “I overheard McGonagall telling Flitwick about it when I was passing by the staffroom.”

               Draco furrowed his brows. If Potter was stopping by for a visit, Granger or Weasley would have acted like it, wouldn’t they? He shot a look towards Granger, who had a book on Modern Goat Conspiracy Theories compared to Anciently Deceased Theories open in one hand and their Potion’s book in the other. Surely, she couldn’t be reading both, right? Weasley had his head resting on Granger’s shoulder and appeared to be asleep. His mouth was open and Draco was pretty sure he saw drool.

               The clang of the door opening had Draco putting this behind him. It was no doubt just gossip.

 ———————————————————-

               “If Potter is coming back for the ball, who do you think will be his date?” Abbott asked as Draco sighed heavily, a few seats away from her in History of Magic.

               “Who says he has to have a date?” Macmillan asked with a scoff. “I’m going stag and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

               Finch-Fletchley snorted loudly. “You’re going stag because everyone you asked turned you down.”

               Draco was incredibly sick of everyone talking about Potter. This was getting out of hand. What was with everyone being obsessed with the savior? Merlin, there had to be better things to talk about.

               “That’s because he is blind to Abbott’s desperate pining after him.” Draco snarked, not bothering to turn around. He was just fed up with the whole conversation.

               There was a stunned silence that filled the room. Macmillan sounded as if he was choking on his own tongue and that was certainly the highlight to Draco’s day.

               “Is—Is Malfoy telling the truth?” Macmillan whispered, sounding awed. As if he hadn’t noticed that the girl had been in love with him for seven years.

               “I—umm.”

              Draco spared a miniscule moment of guilt as the girl sounded positively miserable. But it was for the best. He knew how this would end. And really, what was a little pain as long as it ended in happiness? Well, if they actually lasted as a couple that is. As a realist, he predicted those two would break up after one or two children.

               “Would you like to go to the ball with me?” Macmillan’s tone was scared, which had Draco rolling his eyes.

               “Yes!” Abbott squeaked out far louder than was necessary, causing Draco to nod approvingly.

               And if a small smile also escaped, well, no one had to know.

Keep reading

hi everyone! i’ve been dealing with depression since may 2017. though everyone here on the studyblr community seems to be well intentioned when it comes to advise on mental health, i noticed that a lot of people feel uncomfortable, knowing that a significant part of them may not have ever experienced any kind of mental illness – note that i used the term ‘uncomfortable’, not ‘angry’. sure drinking water is important, but how is that going to help me, mentally? 

you see, i got no other knowledge about the subject than my own experiences, conversations with doctors and basic research. i can’t guarantee any of this will be helpful to you, but i can share what i’ve been passing through and try to reach a more equal level to those who are also dealing with mental illness and school. here are some things to note:

settling a time for taking medicine

  • this one can sound just as silly as drinking water, though it’s very important to the right functioning of the medicine you’re taking. it’s simple chemistry and you’ll find better results by doing that. your doctor will advise you to do so, then listen to all of their reccomendations
  • ok, so you’re taking medicine and has settled a time for doing it, great! now, you should turn it into a task. write it down on your journal, programme a phone alarm, or even find an app for this, so you won’t skip the correct time for doing it
  • however, you’re probably going to skip time for one day or another, and it’s absolutely ok, since it doesn’t become something frequent!

sleeping

  • well, sleeping is a quite complicated one: apparenty, depression can make you wether sleep too much or not sleep at all, and that’s s my case. i would wake up every night and spend 40-50 min awake. it took me 5 different pills until i found the one that made my sleep enough and regenerating again
  • report your sleeping problems to your doctor. sleeping medicine can lead your mind to some weird dreams, as it’s done to me, and your doctor will know how to handle this

doing stuff you like

  • depression is well known for making people uncapable of doing all the things they once were passionate about. i know. however, you have to keep in mind that you’re now starting a new phase, the getting better phase, now that you’ve been taking medicine and seeing the doctor. in time, maybe the day you start taking medicine or maybe not so early, you’ll return to do what gives you pleasure
  • make sure that your hobby doesn’t feel like an obligation and happens spontaneously 
  • maybe you don’t have a hobby, a hobby that feels like the stereotypical ones, like drawing, singing or playing tennis, and that’s alright: find something you do without any blame and stick to it 

studying for exams

  • this can be a great oportunity for you to try new studying methods. depression injuries your academic productivity, and by the end of the semester the only you wish is your school year to be over; then all you want is your notes to be efective
  • there are tons of study tips for your here on tumblr. don’t be afraid of trying a new note taking system or doing those vocabulary things that are so popular here
  • i know it doesn’t feel like the correct time for experimenting; you have to make it to the next year and shouldn’t get too excited planning what you’re gonna do, and then end up in a mess bigger than before. i have this thoughts frequently. but, during my last exams seasion, i was just so tired!!! i didn’t read every book, didn’t take revision notes that covered up everything in detail, but what i did felt effective
  • trust me, neither you nor these people on studyblr community can study everything to their 100%, even if they are mentally healthy. that’s impossible, so don’t push yourself too hard

receiving exams results

  • well, you can probably guess that this is about receiving bad results. good grades need no preparation for, in contrast to bad ones… erm, but we have to cover them up: your effort may not work. you may fail some subjects. it is a possibility, and it doesn’t mean that you should’ve done more or that it’s just a big picture that represents how you were never able to develop studying skills – sorry! i have these thoughts
  • you can always work on prevention. prevention from failing and prevention from feeling completely helpless if you do

letting your school know

  • you should consider letting your school teachers and headmaster know about your condition. this way, they’ll get to understand your lack of motivation and the occurrent classes that you’ve been skipping or simply away from
  • you can also get the chance to take tests at home or separately from the others, if that’s how you wish to

getting a legal absence

  • you can get a legal absence from school, if you understand that you’ll feel better at home. i decided it was the best for me to do and had my parents, doctors and school supporting my decision. if this is something that often cross your mind, make sure you have thought it through, then you’ll have to deal with all the bureaucracy, but hopefully it won’t take too long

final considerations

keeping a journal

  • the day i started taking medicine, i decided i would start a journal to monitor my feelings and simply write down moments or things i’d like to remember later on. both my psychologist and psychiatrist supported my idea. maybe you could enjoy doing so, or going for the things i did well today challenge

treating yourself

  • it can be a hobby. we all know how life is busy. if you just can find an hour when you can enjoy your body lotions, do some skin care or simply wash your hair, then lucky you are
  • though depression can depravate your want to do some of the self caring, you could find a way to reanimate these habits, when you do it only in order to take care of your well-being

starting a studyblr, studygram or a studytube

hobbies during bad days

  • i’m so glad i’ve got my hobbies to use them in my favour! they can feel pretty productive when i can’t function to the productivity patterns. my psychiatrist recommended me not to pin them to my weekly activities, so i wouldn’t have to worry about them. maybe this strategy suits you as well

i believe this is pretty much everything for now. ahhhh please let me know if any of this sounds helpful and thank you very much for reading!!! 

wishing you the very best on earth!!!

How to Return to your Manuscript

Every writer knows what it’s like to set a manuscript down for an evening and just… not pick it up again.

Usually when this happens, we have every intention of returning to it the next day, but for some reason or another, we don’t. 

One day turns into a week. Which turns into a month. Maybe two. 

The longer the manuscript’s been set aside, the harder it becomes to pick up again. It turns into this dark, hulking presence lurking at the edge of your consciousness, like something in a horror movie, eating away at that piece of your identity labeled “writer.” 

The reasons for not picking it up may change, but there’s always one.

You may not know where to start again, or doubt that your abilities are up to the standard its plot or characters require. You may not know where to find the time to write anymore. You may have even sat down to write just a few minutes ago, and ended up here on Tumblr instead, unable to bring yourself to open the manuscript file. 

If you’re reading this post and feel personally attacked…

Don’t fret. 

I have a writing exercise for you. 

Set aside ten minutes of your day to look at your manuscript. 

  • I recommend reading the last scene you completed, but this is your manuscript and your time. You can look at the first page. Or that one scene in the middle that you actually kind of like. Just don’t look at a blank page. Blank pages are scary and this is all about eliminating writing anxiety. 
  • Personally, I make this the last thing I do in the day, so I go to sleep with my manuscript in my head. Sometimes it helps to let my unconscious mind have a go at sorting through what I’ve read. However, I think it’s helpful to do this before any long period of time when you can let your mind wander. You may find writing more helpful before work/school or during lunch. Before a commute. Whatever works best for you. 

But don’t write and don’t look for more than ten minutes. 

  • You’re not allowed to change a single thing in the document. Not a comma. Not a misspelled word. 
  • When the ten minutes are up, simply close the document and go on with your day/night. 
  • There will probably be some things that you do want to change in the manuscript. They may be very simple, sentence-level fixes, but they may be as big as an idea for continuing the scene or the start of the next chapter. Let those thoughts sit with you, instead of all of the manuscript doubt and anxiety that were sitting with you before.
  • And yes, keeping your time down to ten minutes is important. You want a focus on a bite-sized portion of the manuscript. If you read too much, you’ll give yourself too much to consider for the next day, you’ll find too much to change, and you’ll run the risk of making your work as anxiety-inducing as ever. 

The next day, sit down with your document for another ten minutes. 

  • Allow yourself to make the changes you didn’t make the first day, or ones you’ve come up with since. This may mean adding a few commas and removing a few ‘that’s. This may mean continuing with the scene. Ten minutes is the perfect amount of time to set down a good paragraph. Try that. 
  • Again, force yourself to stop after ten minutes, even if you’re on a roll now. The stopping means that you have to keep all of those changes that you’re excited to make inside your head. It means that your thoughts about your manuscript are good and productive. It’ll keep you looking forward to your next writing session. Key advice: at the end of every writing session, always leave an edit in your head. It’ll be that small, tangible thing you can start with in your next session. 

Rinse, repeat, and develop a routine. 

  • Sit down for at least ten minutes every day. Make it a routine. Once the manuscript is open, do whatever feels comfortable to you: whether that means reading a chapter, editing something old, or writing something new. 
  • If you’re coming up with edits and scenes that simply require more than ten minutes, start amping up your writing time. Write for an hour. Write for two or three. 
  • Have a super busy day and know you can’t write for an hour? Those ten minutes are still fine. They’re still enough. Never feel like having spent three hours writing yesterday means you have to spend three hours writing today. Never feel like a failure for not spending X hours a day writing. That will only lead to not writing at all. 
  • What if you get stuck again? Go back to a shorter writing time, go back to reading and not writing. Reduce the pressure you’ve put on yourself and relax your expectations. The most important thing is simply returning to your manuscript every day whether you have something good to set on the page or not. 
  • Never got un-stuck in the first place? That’s still okay! Keep spending your ten minutes with your manuscript. Write or just read. Keep it in your thoughts. Make it a defined, real, thing instead of that monster lurking in your head. It may take time, but eventually, something will click, and by that point, opening that file and getting started will be a piece of cake.
  • If you are able to write for an hour or two each day, you may find it useful to continue setting aside ten minutes each evening to read that day’s work–read but not edit–and keep a few edits in your head for the next day’s session. 

By the end of a week, whether you’ve written a hundred new pages or fixed a lot of bad grammar, you’ll at least be in a place where you’re once again thinking about your manuscript in tangible terms, as a thing made up of words and paragraphs instead of anxiety and blank pages. 

Maybe in the end, you’ll decide that you simply need to abandon this story and pick up a new one. If this happens, you’ll be in a great place to start, with a writing routine already in place. 

More likely than not, just spending time with your story will fan up your love for it again. And once more, your manuscript will be the annoying, stubborn, untameable child you adore instead of a lurking horror. 

For more advice on working through writer’s block, check out another post of mine: What to Do When You Can’t Write

Originally posted by gypsyastronaut

Every Song on Taylor Swift’s reputation

As analyzed by Time Magazine

1. “…Ready For It?”: Starting things off with a thumping bass line and rallying cry, “…Ready For It?” also offers one of Swift’s prettiest melodies. “In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do,” she sings sweetly before switching into her new-era rap-singing. “He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor,” she insists, name-checking a famous — and drama-filled — pairing, and setting the scene for the rest of the album’s investigation of the perils of stardom.

2. “End Game” (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future): Swift tapped her good friend Sheeran for this slow-jam-style track, a self-reflective — and self-aware — plea to both the listener and a lover. “I wanna be your end game,” Swift sings off the top, allowing in a little vulnerability — before jumping into a rap-sung chorus. “Big reputation, you and me we got big reputations,” she chants, recognizing the baggage that her stardom brings (and name-checking the album’s title, of course). Of-the-moment rapper Future of “Mask Off” success adds in a slick verse, sticking to the love-against-the-odds theme. Swift goes on to sing she doesn’t want to be an “ex-love” and that she isn’t into the drama; it’s just her burden to bear. This is peak Swift: emotionally open, but ready and willing to have some fun with the hype around her own persona. Sheeran’s contribution comes in the form of another rap-sung verse in the same vein, seeming to reference his own relationship and the pitfalls that fame has placed in his path to love. His advice? Ignore the rumors.

3. “I Did Something Bad”: Swift knows that her critics have strong opinions about her; after all, the album is called Reputation. And in the bombastic “I Did Something Bad,” she appears to address some of the narratives that have surrounded her. “I never trust a narcissist, but they love me / So I play them like a violin, and I make it look oh so easy,” she opens this one over a sharp string pluck. “If a man talks s–t then I owe him nothing.” Here is new-era Swift: holding her head high, unapologetic and fiercely protective of her own success. Then, a funky dubstep drop brings shades of her mega-hit “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” into the mix. Heavily electronically manipulated, and punctuated with a strong beat, it’s a banger of a track — and her defiant response to her detractors. “I never trust a playboy, but they love me,” she insists, stating matter of-factly that it’s best to “leave before you get left,” and hinting that maybe her splashy former relationships weren’t all they might have seemed. And then there’s the kicker: “They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one,” she croons on an auto-tuned bridge. “Go ahead and light me up.” Of all the quotable lines in Swift’s oeuvre, this one is right up there at the top for its blazing imagery.

4. “Don’t Blame Me”: If you’re a fan of Avicii or Kygo’s brand of un-rushed atmospheric electro-pop, you might like the rich, vibey notes Swift brings together in “Don’t Blame Me,” a moody, dark song that starts out swinging and pretty, and builds into a gospel-backed EDM anthem. “Don’t blame me, love made me crazy / if it doesn’t you ain’t doin’ it right,” she sings emphatically. “Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I be using for the rest of my life.” Swift has endured criticism for her relationships: the fact that she’s in them, the fact that she sings about them. “Don’t Blame Me” could be a clapback to that criticism, reminding listeners that the heart simply wants what it wants, as her friend Selena Gomez once said.

5. “Delicate”: Swift is, appropriately enough, at her most fragile on “Delicate.” Refreshingly honest, it’s a melodic electro-ballad with a resonant refrain. “My reputation’s never been worse so, you must like me for me,” she muses, her voice a light wisp, in a wry nod to her year in the spotlight before breaking down her insecurities: “Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet?” Like pretty much anyone dealing with a new crush, Swift sings of moments of doubt. Perhaps even superstars have their sore spots. She couches this sweetly uncertain song in snippets of dates — at a dive bar, in her apartment — but keeps it about her circular internal monologue, always questioning just how much her feelings are being reciprocated.

6. “Look What You Made Me Do”: Swift’s lead single — and immediate chart-topper following its release — “LWYMMD” was a shocking reintroduction to the Swift of Reputation: hard, unapologetic, focused on retribution. Step aside, “Bad Blood,” this song is much more cutting. “I’ve got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined,” she reminded her haters over a Right Said Fred sample. The propulsive beat and insistence that the old Taylor was “dead” only sharpened her point.

7. “So It Goes…”: Here, she switches things back to romance, reflecting on just how a new love interest might help her out of her fixations: “you make everyone disappear,” she explains in the moody, murky opening segment, which opens into a trap-lite chorus about getting caught up in the moment (and, of course, leaving some signature lipstick “on your face”). But for life with Swift, that’s just how it goes. “I’m yours to keep, and yours to lose. You know I’m not a bad girl, but I’ll do bad things with you,” she adds with a wink; this version of Swift has made a marked departure from her squeaky-clean roots as America’s Nashville sweetheart.

8. “Gorgeous”: Yes, that’s Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s baby daughter James opening up “Gorgeous” with a gurgle. But the rest of the song deals with adult topics. Over a bubbling, chime-like beat, Swift sings about the irresistible power of attraction — even when it’s not the best idea. “You’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts,” she sings with frustration. “There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.” Despondent, she talks of heading home to hang out with her cats — and then, with a wink, invites her object of attention to join her.

9. “Getaway Car”: Told as a dramatic story of a heist and an ill-fated love adventure over shimmering 80s-style production, “Getaway Car” is one of Swift’s most metaphor-driven tracks on the album. “We never had a shotgun shot in the dark,” she sings with a rebellious twang. “Nothing good starts in a getaway car.” Swift’s has often had its fair share of melodrama; remember “Into the Woods”? In “Getaway Car,” though, she calls herself a “traitor” who turns in her erstwhile partner in crime. Looks like Swift might be willing to flirt with the dark side, but she’s no good at following through with crimes — of the legal kind, or of the heart. Instead, she says, she takes the keys and leaves the guy stranded at a motel. It’s no happy ending, but it’s a reminder that Swift isn’t afraid to assert her independence.

10. “King of My Heart”: Taylor Swift has always been good at love songs. In “King of My Heart” she hits her sweet spot, over a synth-heavy track and strategic auto-tune assist. “I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own, I made up my mind I’m better off bein’ alone,” she starts off. But it doesn’t stay that way for long; after meeting a (evidently non-American) paramour who pursues her, the story (and the song) go straight into the romance. “You’re the one I have been waiting for,” she gushes, dissing some other guys with “their fancy cars” who didn’t quite measure up to this new interest. And yes, the character in the title is indeed the king of her heart — and body, and soul.

11. “Dancing With Our Hands Tied”: Although it starts off as a down-tempo, melancholy kind of tune, “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” adds in Swift’s now-rote trap-lite drop to amp up the drama on this will-we-won’t-we tale of star-crossed lovers separated by an unkind fate. “I had a bad feeling,” she suggests about the romantic interest, but she goes on to dance with him anyway; some chemistry just can’t be denied.

12. “Dress”: “I only bought this dress so you could take it off,” Swift sings slyly on “Dress,” her most overtly sexual work yet. She wants her lover to carve his name into her bedpost; her hands shake in anticipation. A breathy, synth-y track with lots of whispery vocals, Swift is unequivocal about her interest in this person as much more than a friend. “Made your mark on me; a golden tattoo,” she sings cryptically. It’s a departure from her usually PG approach to love songs, emblematic of a Swift who’s claiming her maturity more than ever.

13. “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”: Kicking things off with a siren sound, Swift strips it back to a stomping call-out of the haters, a giddy sister of sorts to dark lead single “Look What You Made Me Do.” “Why’d you have to rain on my parade?” she asks, her voice petulant, sneering with humor and attitude. “This is why we can’t have nice things, darling: because you break them, I have to take them away.” When she tries to go diplomatic — “forgiveness is a nice thing to do” goes one line, sung in an angelic lilt — she breaks the fourth wall with a burst of sharp laughter. Swift is no longer willing to “Shake It Off,” as she once tried to do.

14. “Call It What You Want”: Maybe the most by-the-book Swift song on Reputation, “Call It What You Want” is a slow-burning meditation on the transformative power of relationships, filled with lyrical puns: “All the liars are calling me one,” she sighs at one point. “All my flowers grew back as thorns.” But this is still a love letter, and a reminder that Swift has moved on from the fray around her so-called “reputation.” “My baby’s fly like a jetstream, high above the whole scene,” she sings proudly, making it clear that the baby in question has taken her along for the ride.

15. “New Year’s Day”: Her one acoustic piano ballad on the album, “New Year’s Day” is a tender and intimate love song. The snapshots are sweet and evocative: glitter on the floor after a party, candle wax and polaroids on the hardwood floor, holding hands in the backseat of a taxi. “Hold on to the memories,” she repeats in the chorus, “and I will hold on to you.” Nostalgic for the moment even as it’s happening, it’s a lovely, effecting closer, letting Swift’s voice and earnest message shine without the complications of over-production. She may get her kicks with big pop anthems, but vulnerable ballads like this one are just as much a part of her musical DNA.

Lifted from Time Magazine

|4 september 2017|

it’s finally back to school time for most of us and, at least for me, it’s also time to start good habits, crack down on the bad ones, and just begin to prepare for the year ahead. i’ve been in school for a couple of weeks now and, so far, i’m doing pretty good. below, i’ve compiled some simple tips that help me in day to day life that i would love to share. so let’s get cracking:

  1. prepare outfits and pack your backpack on sunday instead of in the morning. i know for a fact you have more time on sunday to prepare your outfits and pack your backpack than on monday morning so planning in advance will most definitely benefit you. instead of running around in circles trying to find that shirt, hang them up in the front of your closet or place them in the top of a drawer on sunday. and instead of throwing random pens in a bag, pack your backpack and put it in front of your door. it’ll save you time to do other things such as eating and washing your face.
  2. prepare and eat a breakfast. whether it’s some cherrios in a bag on the way to class or eggs and bacon cooked that morning, eating will definitely benefit you. you’ll have more focus in class and it’ll get your metabolism going. if it’s easier for you, think about preparing your food the night before and packing it in bags or tupperware.
  3. have a tray by the door to put small things in. oh, how many times have i forgotten my earbuds or keys. keep yourself organized and not calling your roommate to get an extra set of keys by just having a tray on which you can put smaller things you don’t put in your backpack. then, just grab them before you leave and voilà! you aren’t locked out.
  4. on sunday, do your meal preps, weekly spread, and clean your room and workspace. i am such a procrastinator during the weekends and there have been so many days that because of that, i am trudging through knee high messes in my room because i just won’t pick up. i also commonly forget to plan the week and prep my meals and then boom, it’s monday and i’m a mess. so don’t be a mess like me, do it all on sunday.
  5. have a letter tray to put class handouts and old assessments so you can put them in binders later. using a letter tray to collect handouts and assessments can be so beneficial to keeping your desk clean. and without it, i tend to throw out old graded assessments i could study instead of putting them in binders. keeping all those papers in one binder is super helpful, so put them in a binder and finals won’t be your doom.
  6. have a bedtime routine. having a bedtime routine can increase your productivity and sleep time because, one, it can help you stay organized and, two, it helps put you to sleep. the more your brain associates doing certain tasks with sleep, the faster you’ll be able to drift off. so be smart and enjoy an extra hour of sleep.
  7. have one journal for in class notes and one to retake and organize your notes at home. in class you do not have time to keep your thoughts organized. with tangents from your teachers and questionable notes, its best to just use a pencil, pen, and highlighter to make scratch notes in class and then come home and organize it into something that you can study from. this idea has kept me afloat time and time again.
  8. talk to your teachers. do yourself a favor, ask and answer questions in class and go to your teachers’ office hours if they have them. if you do this, your teachers are more likely to recognize you and will be more lenient with your grade (since it shows you’re engaged and involved). you don’t necessarily need to like the teacher, just pretend you care. smile and nod along as you ask about their lives, questions about the content, and for advice that you are never going to take. this is a pretty slytherin thing i’ve been doing for years and it has got me so many half points back, especially in math and science.
  9. use quizzes and tests to study for finals. as i stated earlier, it’s important to save your assessments to study, and that is especially true during finals. teachers commonly use similar questions on the final as unit tests and quizzes. think of how many more points you can score on that final if you just study your tests.
  10. make a study group. find friends and people in your classes that you would like to study with and meet up! they’ll definitely be able to help you understand topics and it’ll be more fun than holing yourself up in your room. also, explaining concepts to others will help you better understand them and answer those questions on your tests.
  11. make a weekly to-do list. some of you may already do this in your weekly spreads, but it’s important to make to-do lists of goals and tasks you need to complete. this isn’t necessarily studying and notes but things such as cleaning your room, watering your plants, or going grocery shopping. make lists, organize yourself, don’t be a mess like me.
  12. reward yourself for doing well. whether it’s talking to your teacher or scoring straight a’s, we all work hard. so why not treat yourself to a nice dinner or relaxing bath? have fun, relax, and don’t let yourself get too stressed. remember to unwind.
  13. sit up front in class. i know, i know, you don’t really want to, but think about it. if you’re up front, you are going to be 100% more engaged and paying more attention. and this will make your teacher remember you, which you now know the benefits of. you will also be able to see the board easier, get your questions answered, and hear what is going on.
  14. talk to the people around you in your classes. jeremy from physics sneezes on you and suddenly, you’ve got the flu and can’t make it to your lit lecture. what are you going to do? text that new friend you made from lit that sits next to in the lecture hall of course. simply talking to people on your first day can help you stay on top of class in case you miss or can help you study before the test. never doubt the benefits of knowing people.
  15. if there’s an opportunity for extra credit, take it. i don’t care how good you are in that class or how perfect your grades are, take the extra credit. those few extra points could be the ones that take you from a b to an a. just do it and don’t question it, you may need them. 
  16. outline all papers and presentations. you have a draft due for your class in a few hours and you open you computer and prepare to type. but where to begin? what are you writing? how do you want to phrase it? well, you could already know that if you had outlined it. take the time to research, write a thesis, and fully understand your prompt before you write. especially if this is a persuasive essay. do this as well for presentations and visual assignments so you say every fact and point you want to.
  17. keep your test dates by you at all times. no matter who you are, you need to know when tests are coming up. and, as someone who tends to leave things at home sometimes, i may not have my planner with those tests dates next to me when i need them. but what do i have? my phone. i use the app My Study Life to keep track of those dates. i explain that beautiful app in this post.
  18. have a ‘school survival kit.’ by now i think you’ve caught on to the fact i can be a bit forgetful. so i like to have a little bag with me that has things i may need that i could have forgotten. this includes a pen, pencil, highlighter, a few pads, some mints, pain medicine, allergy medicine, tissues, band-aids, hand sanitizer, tide-to-go (stain remover), and other such items. i may make a list of these items at another time.
  19. if you have a question, ask. i’ve already gone over the benefits of talking in class but it’s also extremely important to understand your content. it’s better to ask than not know, even if you think the question is dumb. there’s a good chance someone else has that exact question. it’s also better to look stupid than have that count against you during assessments.
  20. if your university, college, or high school has a writing center, use it. i work in a writing center and we are here to help. we do nothing so much of the time and you coming in makes our day. contrary to the popular opinion, we aren’t going to judge your writing or insult you (unless you ask for it). but we also aren’t going to correct your entire paper, we want to help you learn how to edit your papers and make sure you’re fitting the requirements. and this goes for all tutoring centers; if they’re an option, use them. 

I think a big part of how I see the world is that -

In college I was sick. In particular I was anorexic, and I nearly starved myself to death. I never accomplished anything, made commitments I couldn’t keep, lost track of time, and struggled with the most basic life tasks. I was anxious (mostly because I correctly knew that everything was going horribly) and lazy (because I could not possibly do enough things to matter, and doing things was hard and hurt) and unreliable and terrible. I ended up owing people a lot of money (I have since paid them all back) and failing at things that were really important to me and to other people.

And now I am in a good environment for me. I live with people who I can be reasonably assured don’t hate me and will tell me when they need me to do things differently, and I am no longer anxious. My work has clear expectations and is bite-sized and doesn’t pile up on me, and I reliably deliver it and do a good job. I have enough money I don’t have to deal with the mental overhead of deciding whether to buy the food I want, and I spend that mental overhead on better things. I am still messy and I am still bad at getting places on time, but I’m never late on rent. I am mostly a productive, honest, trustworthy, reliable person and I’m getting better at those things. I have friends and kiss girls (and the occasional boy) and I make a positive difference in peoples’ lives.

Some of the difference was immaturity and lack of skills; much of the difference is that I had starved my brain until it stopped functioning; much of the difference was that I was in an environment that was not shaped to my strengths. But living through it gave me this powerful sense that the difference between a “lazy” person and a “successful” person, between a reliable person and an unreliable person, between a “good” person and a “bad” person, is a lot about whether they are in an environment shaped to their strengths. That almost everybody will be great in the right environment and really really struggle in a bad one. And some people have never ever encountered a bad one and think they’re just inherently great; and some people have never encountered a good one, and think they’re just inherently miserable and hard to get along with and unreliable and untrustworthy.

I absolutely think people are still accountable for the things they do in bad environments. I’ve worked really hard to fix the things I fucked up at when I was sick, and I don’t mean “it’s all the environment” to mean “it’s not you”. Just - the same you who was miserable and did bad things will be happy and do good things, in better circumstances, and lots of the human project is building those circumstances. 

I don’t know how to give everyone an environment in which they’ll thrive. It’s probably absurdly hard, in lots of cases it is, in practical terms, impossible. But I basically always feel like it’s the point, and that anything else is missing the point. There are people whose brains are permanently-given-our-current-capabilities stuck functioning the way my brain functioned when I was very sick. And I encounter, sometimes, “individual responsibility” people who say “lazy, unproductive, unreliable people who choose not to work choose their circumstances; if they go to bed hungry then, yes, they deserve to be hungry; what else could ‘deserve’ possibly mean?” They don’t think they’re talking to me; I have a six-figure tech job and do it well and save for retirement and pay my bills, just like them. But I did not deserve to be hungry when I was sick, either, and I would not deserve to be hungry if I’d never gotten better.

What else could ‘deserve’ possibly mean? When I use it, I am pointing at the ‘give everyone an environment in which they’ll thrive’ thing. People with terminal cancer deserve a cure even though right now we don’t have one; deserving isn’t a claim about what we have, but about what we would want to give out if we had it. And so, to me, horrible people who abuse others all the time deserve an environment in which they would thrive and not be able to abuse others, even if we can’t provide one and don’t even have any idea what it would look like and sensibly are prioritizing other people who don’t abuse others. If you have experiences, you deserve good experiences; if you have feelings, you deserve happy feelings; if you want to be loved, you are worthy of love. You flourishing is a moral good; everybody flourishing is in fact the only moral good, the entire thing morality is for. Your actions should have consequences, sure, and we should figure out how to build a world where those consequences are ones that you can handle, and where you can amend the things that you do wrong. When you hurt people, that can change what “you thriving” looks like, because part of thriving is fixing, and growing from, things you have done wrong; but nothing you do can change that it is good for you to thrive.

I reject that I ever deserved to starve, and so I reject that anyone, ever, deserves to starve. I reject that I ever deserved to suffer, and so I reject that anyone, ever, deserves to suffer. Happiness is good. Your happiness is good. And without a single exception anywhere I want you to thrive.

The Seneschal

My first Tumblrfic! A one-shot little thing that just would not get out of my head, so I had to write it down. The unexpected survival of someone important from Thor and Loki’s past prompts hilarity and romance.

Warnings: at least ten times the amount of recommended daily sugary fluff, Loki being rather excessively redeemed, Thor being an adorable doof, mangled old Norse stuff, spoilers for Thor: Ragnarok.


Earth it is, then.

Such simple words. His first real proclamation as king. It seemed simple. Point enormous ship towards Midgard and go there. But, like most things in Thor’s life of late, the reality turned out to be anything but straightforward.

Spaceships were very complicated things. They needed fuel and maintenance and all sorts of other things to keep them running. This one – the newly renamed Asgard – apparently ran on a certain type of exotic matter particular to one of the rarer types of compact star, which was probably why it had been sitting in the Grandmaster’s hangar on Sakaar rather than being actively used. It was a minor miracle – although Loki insisted it had more to do with his outstanding piloting skills – that the thing had managed to limp through the portal in the first place.

It was also low on general supplies, like food and potable water, although on the plus side was extremely lavishly furnished with what turned out to be quite a lot of potentially valuable goods. The mineral ore in the aft hold was also apparently quite prized, or at least the trader Loki spoke to was convinced that it was. Thor decided not to ask for the details of the transaction when his brother had returned with a certain smug edge to his triumphant grin.

‘Why do we need these…hydrosonic things?’

'Hydroponics,’ the Valkyrie, whose name he had finally discovered was Brunhilde, repeated with a roll of her eyes. 'I told you, to grow food. We can’t trade anywhere near enough to keep everyone fed and it is going to take a long while to get to Midgard.’

'Hulk bored.’

'But couldn’t we have traded for more food and less-’ Thor paused to peer at the unfamiliar term on the dataslate ’-nutrient fluid?’

'Yes, but the technology will be more efficient in the long run,’ Loki pointed out. 'The difference between hunting and farming.’

'Hulk bored.’

'At least the water filtration systems seem to work.’ Thor scratched at his chin for a moment. 'Do we have a full head count yet, Heimdall?’

'Six hundred and eighteen,’ the former gatekeeper replied solemnly.

'That’s all?’ Thor tried not to sound too appalled, without much success. Asgard had housed over two hundred thousand people under Odin’s rule. Still, between Hela and Surtr it was remarkable that they had managed to save that many.

'We’ve little idea of who survived,’ Heimdall added. 'I’ve spoken to a few, guildsmen and artisans mostly, but-’

'Hulk BORED!’

'Who invited him?’ Thor asked. 'This is a council meeting, isn’t it?’

'Nobody invited him,’ Loki said. 'He just showed up.’

'We need to get a proper understanding of who we have on board,’ Brunhilde said, loudly enough that they all looked at her and even the Hulk subsided. 'And someone ought to be coordinating berths, and work assignments. Korg and the other scrappers are doing their best but we need-’

'A seneschal,’ Heimdall finished.

'The last seneschal of Asgard was-’ grimacing, Thor glanced at Loki in time to see his brother’s face fall ’-our mother.’

'Historically speaking the role of seneschal is separate to the duties of the royal family,’ Heimdall pointed out. 'But yes, Lady Frigga did adopt it in addition to her obligations as queen.’

'Thor no have queen,’ the Hulk said with a broad grin. 'He bad at girls.’

'That’s-’ Thor tried not to get too indignant at that pronouncement ’-that is not true, I just never – I am not bad at girls. With women. Shut up.’ He sat back and folded his arms, pointedly ignoring Loki’s snicker and Brunhilde’s barely-suppressed chuckles.

'I actually had someone in mind,’ Heimdall said, thankfully putting a stop to any further needling on that front. 'For seneschal,’ he added, only a little hastily, but ignored the Hulk’s snort of amusement at the clarification.

'Oh thank god,’ Thor said with feeling. 'Please call them up.’

'As you wish.’

Discussion turned to other matters in the meantime – Thor had to admit he was rather glad that Loki had so peremptorily taken charge of the need for trading with outside factors, for once putting his gilded tongue to some proper use – until a light knock at the door heralded the arrival of whoever Heimdall’s candidate was. Thor called for the visitor to come in and then felt himself break out into a broad grin of unmitigated delight at the diminutive, dark-haired figure that entered.

'Y/N!’

She inclined her head in a half bow.

'Your majesty.’

Pah.’ Springing to his feet, Thor rounded the table in two quick strides. 'You only called me that when my father was in the room. And even then…’

She laughed and permitted him to pull her into a hug.

'Thor, it’s so good to see you again. Great Norns, who cut your hair?’

'Oh, a creepy old man on an alien planet.’

'It's…different. And crooked-’ one hand actually came up to tug at the side of his shorn locks ’-we must find some shears and at least even it out-’

'No, no-’ Thor hurriedly batted her away ’-no more needs to come off. It’s fine. Really.’

'You’re lopsided! And oh…’ she stroked the skin beside his eyepatch '…your eye…’

'You want to make a hairdresser the seneschal?’ Brunhilde exclaimed to Heimdall.

'I’m hardly a hairdresser,’ Y/N said wryly.

'Then who are you?’

'Peace!’ Thor grinned at them both. 'This is Y/N Sjöfnsdottir – her mother was a nurse of sorts to us when we were boys, we used to play together as children-’

'Until her many talents led her elsewhere,’ Loki finished, standing up to move to his side with a smile that was small and brief enough to give it away as genuine. 'Hello, Y/N.’

'Loki!’ For a moment she stared at him with an unreadable expression. Then she reached out to very carefully prod his chest, clearly expecting him to dissolve into thin air and actually gasping when he didn’t. 'You’re – you’re actually here?’

'Very m-’ he didn’t get any further before she hugged him, too, although it was a much briefer contact and she turned back to Thor rather quickly after letting go.

'So, what does my king require of me?’

He laughed outright at her.

'Your help, as always!’

The Hulk decided to choose that moment to once more announce that he was bored, so after the briefest of amused introductions Brunhilde decided to take him down to the cargo bay, rolling her eyes at Loki’s half-pleading, half-chastising reminder not to damage the trio of extremely valuable power convertors sitting there.

'Not quite a typical successor to the Allfather’s council but at least it’s a bit different,’ Y/N said laughingly to Thor. 'I take it you want to drag me into this to help as chamberlain in some way, since there seems to be a marked lack of organisational ability in the room?’

'You’ve already been invaluable in overseeing the distribution of supplies and the wellbeing of the refugees,’ Heimdall said to her, with a meaningful glance at Thor. 'You’ve a knack for the role.’

'You’re too kind, Lord Heimdall.’

'He’s right, though.’ Thor folded his arms and inclined his head. 'I’d like to appoint you my seneschal, Y/N. The position hasn’t really been in use of late but…well, you’ll be perfect for the job.’

'And if I refuse?’ she asked, but the amused expression on her face said that she wouldn’t do any such thing, and they both knew it.

'I shall be very sad,’ Thor said, beaming at her. 'I’ll moan, and pout, and possibly throw a rage. And then I’ll make Loki do it, instead.’

'Oh, wonderful,’ Loki muttered.

'Dear Norns, there’s a threat and a half. I’d better accept, then.’ Her eyes danced. 'Although I should warn you now that rations are extremely lean which isn’t helping the already extremely low morale of our refuges, so-’

'We’ve already secured some additional supplies, as well as the means to set up food production on board the ship,’ Loki put in.

'What sort of quantities?’

'More ample than if someone else had handled the negotiations.’

Y/N rolled her eyes.

'Naturally. I don’t suppose you bothered putting anything onto the system?’

'The what?’ all three men asked at the same time, provoking an exasperated sigh.

'The ship has an integrated network operations and database system run on the hardwired consoles as well as these-’ she brandished a slim, palm-sized screen at them ’-so perhaps we could consider using it?’

Thor broke into another grin that was as relieved as it was grateful.

'Do you see why we need you?’

*

Ten minutes later, en route down to the enormous main cargo deck, Loki found himself in one of his rarest conditions; lost for what to say.

Y/N was alive.

The idea, the reality, overrode all attempts at cohesive thought. The last time he’d seen her…it had been years ago, before Thor’s confirmation and all that came after. When he’d returned to Asgard in chains, Frigga had said Y/N asked to see him but had been denied by Odin. Of course. Later, after he'd…acquired the throne, he’d wanted to send for her, desperately, but couldn’t risk exposing himself by doing so. Knowing that she’d survived, against all odds, and was here

'Oh, this is good. Depending on the rationing, of course, and we need a proper census to confirm numbers and demographics…’

The detached, businesslike tone was painful to hear. She’d once had nothing but smiles, even for him, laughing at his tricks, defending his wayward nature. Memories surfaced unbidden – sunlit corridors and running feet, his own chuckles and the sweet melody of her laugh.

'…spoken to but I recall there were several greensmen from the lower terraces and at least half a dozen artificers-’

'Y/N.’

She paused and glanced back at him, the animation draining steadily from her face.

'You’re angry with me,’ he said, somehow managing to keep his voice level.

Cocking her head, she folded her hands over the data slate and turned to regard him properly.

'I’m not angry with you.’

'No. I suppose not.’ Loki managed a small, grim smile, and glanced down at his boots. 'Let me guess, you're…livid, enraged, furious, perhaps all three?’

'I’m hurt.’

'What?’ That made him look up at her.

'We all thought you were dead, Loki.’ Y/N’s voice sounded taut as a bowstring, ready to snap but barely controlled. 'After the Bifrost – after Midgard – after everything – I’m not angry with you. I just can’t believe you would let us all think-’ pausing, she sniffed and seemed to collect herself after a moment. 'I tried to see you, before.’

'I know.’

'I begged Odin, but he refused and your mother – your mother said it was best I didn’t. Later I…left.’

'Left?’

'The city. I went north into the wilds.’

He blinked, confused.

'Why?’

'Why would I not?’ she replied, and wiped at her eyes as if impatient with herself. 'My family were all gone by then, and your mother – and then Thor was gone, and you were dead.’ Stopping, she took a short breath. 'I was living in one of the old fortresses up in the mountains when Heimdall found me, on the run, and then there was Hela, and the refugees started arriving…’

'I’m sorry,’ Loki blurted, and had to drop his eyes when she looked askance at him. He closed the distance between them and put his hands over hers. 'I never…I never meant to hurt you. Not like that, not – not at all. I’m sorry.’

Y/N sighed and met his gaze when he raised it.

'Everything and…you’re sorry.’

'Yes.’ He risked a small grin. 'Well, not entirely sorry…I mean, if you hadn’t left the city and been in the mountains when Hela arrived then you might not be here, and alive. And that I would not change for anything.’

She stared at him for a long moment and turned, pulling away and lifting a hand to cover her mouth. For a moment Loki panicked, but then she whirled back and he felt his shoulders sag in relief as she threw her arms about him, laughing and crying all at once.

'Oh, I have missed you, you – you – scoundrel!’

He hugged her back, taking the opportunity to bury his nose in her braided hair, and felt an irresistible grin of pure delight split his face as he did.

'I’ve missed you, too.’

The embrace still didn’t go on as long as he would have liked, but at least it was better than the perfunctory one from earlier. Y/N drew back and smiled, reaching up to trail her fingers through a strand of his hair.

'Thor loses his, and yours grows out…it suits you.’

'Thank you.’ He barely resisted the urge to lean into her hand – curses, he’d forgotten the effect her touch had on him – and tried to sound brisk. 'Shall we look at these supplies, then?’

'Yes, we’d better.’

An hour later, back in the cabin he’d appropriated for himself, Loki sat down hard on the still-strange bed and regarded the empty wall opposite him blankly. His fingers flexed.

Cast enough illusions and you risk forgetting what is real.

But sometimes forgetting, even just for a little while, was enough.

He gave in and reached for his magic, cloaking the narrow room in a glamour that enveloped all of his own senses while betraying nothing to others. It was an old spell, easy to cast, as familiar as the pages of a well-read book. For a moment he closed his eyes, drinking in the cheers and adulation but not caring about the false crowd.

“They love you, you know. Perhaps almost as much as I do.”

Loki opened his eyes and smiled at her. He’d spent a long time getting every detail of the chimera just right, from the way the light hit her hair to the exact hue of her dress. Green and gold, of course, but then she was lovely to him whatever colours she wore.

'My beautiful queen,’ he murmured. The glamour smiled back, a perfect simulacrum of her face, and stepped up to his side.

“My beloved king.”

Loki reached up towards her but stopped just short of touching her face, knowing that would dispel the illusion. Instead he banished the rest – the hall, the crowds, the regal trappings – stripping the spell back so that she stood before him much as she had just now in the cargo bay. He could almost pretend she was really there.

A knock at the door shattered his concentration and he hastily broke the spell, taking a few breaths to collect himself. But still the fantasy lurked in his mind’s eye, taunting him anew to have something so close and yet so out of reach.

*

'…twelve weavers and nine jewellers, but none of them are adverse to retraining so I was thinking of an adaptation of the old apprenticing system, perhaps?’

'That sounds perfect. What do we need – uh – more of?’

'Artificers, mostly, although more greensmen wouldn’t go amiss. Oh, there’s also the matter of the twenty-nine orphans.’

'Orphans?’

That slightly alarmed exclamation from Thor was enough to bring Loki’s attention sharply back to the council meeting in full.

'There were lots of separations in the evacuation, and beforehand,’ Y/N said. 'What with one thing and another…yes, we’ve twenty-nine children who are without parents or other family to take care of them.’

'Thank the Norns it’s that few,’ Brunhilde advised grimly, taking a swig from her current bottle.

'Yes. Well.’ Thor leaned forward and laced his hands on the table. 'Any suggestions?’

'Two that I can think of.’ Naturally Y/N had not brought a problem without already thinking of a solution. 'We could set up some sort of centralised caretaking attached to the new school-’

'An orphanage, you mean,’ Loki interrupted. Thor made a face.

'I don’t much care for that idea. What alternative is there?’

'Fostering,’ Y/N said. 'There are also those who lost children, or whole families who survived and might be willing to take another child in.’

'Old Asgard had a rich tradition of fostering,’ Heimdall put in. 'Not just for the parentless, but between wider families or different bloodlines.’

'Yes. I recall Fandral was fostered most of his life with an old ally of his uncle’s because he was nothing but a nuisance to his parents.’ Thor’s grin at the memory of his friend dimmed slightly at the sudden recollection of his death. 'Still – that seems a far better idea to me. We should ask those who are able. I mean I should ask,’ he amended hastily, and for some reason glanced at Loki with a slight frown. 'Is that…appropriate?’

'I think the king gets to decide what is and isn’t appropriate under the circumstances, brother,’ Loki replied dryly, but couldn’t help an involuntary surge of affection for the enormous oaf.

'Yes, of course. Well, then, if you could-’ Thor gestured absently in Y/N’s direction, but she was already making a note on her slate ’-and could I speak to the children, as well? I’d just like to tell them that they – ah – won’t be forgotten about. Nor their lost families.’

'Of course,’ she said, and flashed Brunhilde a small smile when the Valkyrie’s eyebrows rose dubiously. 'Thor’s always had a soft spot for little ones. Something to do with comparable intellectual capacities, I believe,’ she added, catching Loki’s eye with a wink that made him chuckle. It was an old jest, from happier days, and he tried to ignore the way her gaze seeking his made his heart stutter as though tripping over itself.

'Hey!’ Thor protested. 'I am your king now, you know.’

'Of course,’ Y/N said, both unruffled and unrepentent. 'I’ll send the list of comparable intellects to your slate…your majesty.’

The Hulk’s booming sniggers in Thor’s direction echoed as she made her way out of the room, until Heimdall suddenly leaned forward and cleared his throat.

'The mention of children is perhaps timely.’

Thor’s grin vanished instantly, replaced by bewilderment.

'Eh?’

'You should think about taking a wife,’ Heimdall went on, as calmly as if he were suggesting that the other man take a short walk.

'A wife?’

'He’s talking about the royal succession, your majesty,’ Brunhilde said dryly, taking another swig from her drink. 'Sorting out a queen, begetting heirs, that sort of thing.’

Begetting-’ Thor hurriedly cleared his throat, visibly panicking ’-no, I don’t think we need to worry about any begetting just now, we’ve got larger concerns and-’

'A king should have a queen,’ Heimdall insisted.

'I think I’ll decide if-’

'The people of Asgard just went from a substantial number to an endangered species,’ Loki said, now thoroughly entertained by his brother’s discomfiture. 'Most of the berths on this enormous ship are still empty, even with all the survivors.’

'Point.’ Brunhilde grinned, clearly also now rather enjoying herself. 'It’s going to take a few years to get to Midgard even at the top speed this ship can do, which it won’t be doing most of the time, and only one way to boost the population for the long term.’

'A king should lead by example, should he not?’ Loki added with affected innocence, and snickered all the more at the glare his brother shot him.

'Those considerations aside, it will comfort the people to know the fate of the throne is secure,’ Heimdall said, somehow still contriving to be serious despite the fact that Thor was positively fidgeting in unease at this point. 'A queen, and an heir, will help everyone remember that Asgard still has a future.’

Except-’ Thor raised his hand as if he’d just plucked the deciding argument out of mid-air ’-I don’t have anyone to marry. So. Can’t be done.’

'There are plenty of unattached women on board,’ Loki pointed out. 'Pick one.’

'Look in my direction and I’ll hit you,’ Brunhilde said when Thor’s gaze started to slip sideways. ’Your majesty.’

'Well I can’t just-’ Thor was all but spluttering now ’-I can’t just pick a woman like…like plucking an apple from the nearest tree-’

'Thor no pick apples or women. Thor got no game.’

’-shut up, Hulk – and besides, I haven’t really been around on Asgard for years, I don’t even really know anyone-’

'I’m sure we can help you find one,’ Loki said helpfully.

'That is a fair point,’ Heimdall said, raising a hand to forestall further bickering. 'The queen of Asgard cannot be chosen lightly, especially now. It must be someone capable and caring, someone known to the people who has their trust-’

'Someone like Y/N,’ Thor said absently, stroking his beard. 'What?’ he asked when they all stared at him. 'I just mean – oh, god! No, I couldn’t marry Y/N! Could I?’

Loki became aware that his amused grin had turned rather brittle.

'I think that’s between you and Y/N,’ Brunhilde said with a laugh.

'She would be ideal,’ Heimdall said slowly. 'Everyone knows her, and trusts her – she was coordinating the refugees and supplies even before you appointed her as seneschal. She’s the right age, from a good line, familiar with the duties of the crown-’

'But I can’t marry Y/N!’ Thor exclaimed. 'It’d be…weird. Wouldn’t it?’ Ignoring Brundhilde’s scoffing, he glanced at Loki. 'Surely you don’t agree with this?’

It took every inch of Loki’s skill in dissembling to keep his expression neutrally amused. Every instinct in him screamed to agree, to insist that Thor could never marry Y/N Sjöfnsdottir, to conjure some excuse or reason why such an arrangement would be utterly disastrous…

'She would be an excellent candidate, brother,’ he heard himself say. 'Heimdall is right. She’s capable, accomplished, known and trusted, and…has a heart big enough to love all of the Nine Realms and much beyond.’ Oops. He hadn’t meant to say that bit, but nobody seemed to have noticed the slip and in fact Thor was now looking rather pensive.

'I suppose you’re right. She is kind, and fair. It would be…strange. At first, perhaps. But we could find a way to make it work, I’m sure. Still…’ he grimaced again, lost in thought.

Speak, you fool, Loki raged at himself. Nudge his doubts and have him put the idea aside! Why are you struck dumb now of all moments?

'I suggest you ask her, your majesty,’ Brunhilde said. 'These are hardly the days of Búri and Auðumbla when a king may co-opt a woman without her permission. Not that it wouldn’t be very funny to watch you try.’

Hur hur hur. Thor bad at girls.’

'Shut up, Hulk.’ Thor folded his arms defensively. 'Fine. I’ll speak with her later. Is there any other real business to discuss?’ he added, rather witheringly.

There was not, thankfully, and the others left – the Hulk still chortling – but before Loki could flee the room he felt an enormous hand descend onto his shoulder.

'Brother,’ Thor’s gaze was entreating. 'You must help me. I’ve not the way with words that you do, and of all the people to have to ask this, of all things-’

Under other circumstances Loki would have doubled over in laughter, but the painful reality of it kept him sober. So now he was to counsel his brother, the mighty Thor, ever-preferred and ever-glorified, on how to gain the hand of the one woman that he, Loki, would ever truly love.

'You need no tricks, Thor,’ he made himself say. 'No speeches. Simply explain to her the need and ask what you must of her. She’s no stranger or foreign princess to falsely court.’

'Yes…of course.’ Thor visibly exhaled. 'Thank you, Loki.’ A grin. 'At this rate I could be forgiven for thinking you really have decided to reform.’

'Don’t draw hasty conclusions, brother.’ And Loki left the room in a hurry before he betrayed himself.

*

'You said you needed to speak with me?’

'Yes!’ Thor hurriedly modified his tone, trying desperately not to bely his nervousness. How absurd. He would have gladly fought Hela a dozen times, or taken on Surtr’s mountainous fiery form in single combat, rather than have this conversation. 'Come in. Sit. Um. Would you like a drink? It’s-’ he squinted at the bottle, attempting to recall the name, but could only come up with ’-blue.’

Y/N chuckled as she settled into one of the chairs.

'I’ll leave the mysterious beverages to Brunhilde, thank you.’

'Fair enough. Uh, do you mind if I-’

'Of course not.’

Thor Odinson, the God of Thunder, reduced to drink to try and calm his nerves! The new King of Asgard downed the tumbler, wincing slightly at the aftertaste, and finally turned to face the woman he now had to…propose to. Oh, it would be no real hardship. Y/N was fair of face and kind of heart, and there was no doubt in his mind that she would make a wonderful queen, and wife. And mother, however much the latter in particular terrified him. But it was…Y/N. He and Loki had once chased her screaming down the main hallway of the palace and the three of them ended up in a wrestling match in the pond outside the gates. Once he’d pulled her hair, and she’d kicked him so hard between the legs he couldn’t walk right for two days. Loki had nearly killed himself laughing at the sight of his mighty older brother reduced to a moaning limp.

'You said you needed to speak to me?’ Y/N prompted. 'You’re just staring like I’ve sprouted a second head.’

'Oh. Yes. Right.’ Thor sat down opposite her. What had Loki said? Simply explain to her the need and ask what you must. Easy for you to say, brother. 'So. After you left the council today something came up – well, Heimdall brought it up – and I need to ask you to, um…’ he trailed off, because she was sitting there with her hands folded calmly in her lap regarding him with infinite patience and his mouth suddenly decided to forget how to work.

After a few moments of him opening and closing his mouth on the barely formed beginning of sentences, Y/N actually leaned towards him with a small frown of concern.

'Thor, what in the worlds is the matter?’

'Nothing,’ he managed. 'Nothing is the matter.’ For some reason his eyes chose to fix on the ample curve of her lips, so entirely unlike the slim contours of Jane’s. Why did the notion of kissing her fill him with such intense panic? 'It came up – Heimdall mentioned – well, it was sort of agreed – that Asgard needs a…uh…a queen.’

She sat back and nodded as though this was the most normal conversation in the world.

'Of course. Continuity of the royal line, the future of our people. Very sensible.’

'Oh. Good. I’m – ah – I’m glad you agree.’ Sitting back himself with a rather poor attempt at nonchalance, Thor tapped his fingers against the arms of the chair. 'There were…suggestions…I mean there was a suggestion on a very good candidate and-’

'Oh. Oh.’ Then she smiled. 'Of course! She’s very…different from your lady mother, but that’s perhaps all to the good. Have you spoken with her?’

’S-spoken with her?’ Thor echoed, now utterly bewildered. 'I thought I was – I mean I am – I mean she’s you.’

Me?’

'Yes.’ Confused, a little alarmed at her disbelieving tone, Thor’s mind went completely blank and before he could entirely register the motion he had shifted to one knee before her, as though they were on Midgard. 'Will you – uh – will you marry me?’ Damn, I don’t have a ring. Wait! I don’t need a ring, we aren’t on Earth. Damn, I don’t have anything else for a handsal either. He found himself actually patting at his clothing, entirely at a loss. Oh! He still had one of the smaller daggers he’d appropriated from Sakaar during the escape. A dagger wasn’t a very appropriate handsal for a woman like Y/N who wasn’t martially-inclined, but it was better than nothing. With fumbling fingers he unbuckled the sheath and held it out to her.

'Uh. Sorry. I didn’t plan this very well.’

Y/N looked away for a moment, biting at her bottom lip, and there was genuine regret on her face when she turned back to him.

'Am I speaking to my king, or to Thor?’

That doesn’t sound good.

'Oh. Uh, me. Thor, I mean. Always.’

'I can’t marry you, Thor. And I won’t.’

He blinked.

'You mean – you’re saying no?’

'I am saying no, Thor. I’m sorry but-’ she stopped when he got up and then half-collapsed back into the chair, clapping his hands over his face.

'Oh, thank god!’

He exhaled, leaning back for a moment and feeling as though an enormous weight had just vanished from his shoulders. Then he noticed the bewilderment on her face.

'I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just…of course we can’t get married. It’d be…it’d be weird. Creepy. You know?’

She burst into giggles.

'When why in all the Realms did you ask me, you great lummock?’

'Well your name came up and everyone agreed you were a good choice and-’ Thor broke off and gave up, joining her in laughter at the sheer absurdity of the entire concept. 'You’re absolutely right, of course. It would be insanity. I thought perhaps we could…make it work somehow, but-’

'I think we could,’ she said with a smile, standing up and patting his arm fondly. 'If it came to it. I care for you a great deal, Thor, truly, but-’

'Then why?’ he asked, thoroughly taken aback by that pronouncement.

'Because my heart belongs to another, that’s why.’ She gathered her skirts and made for the door, but his noise of surprise checked her. 'What? And I swear, if you make one comment about you being my king I’ll-’

'No, no, never!’ He beamed at her. 'But you…I had no idea you had any – uh – well. Is it anyone I know?’ A horrible thought occurred. 'Oh…is it someone who’s alive?’

'Yes, he’s alive, and that’s all I’m saying on the matter.’

'Oh?’ Thor’s brows creased with the effort at an intuitive leap. 'Oh! Is it – good god – is it Heimdall? I know you two were up in that refuge for quite a while before-’

'It isn’t Heimdall, and-’ she held up a finger in warning ’-I am not about to play some extended guessing game, so you can stop your postulating right now.’

'But I want to know!’

'Tough!’

'I’m your king!’

'I don’t care!’

*

Loki was reading in relative peace in one of the smaller refectories on the upper deck, having sent an illusionary simulacrum of himself off to keep Korg occupied, when Thor came bouncing in with the sort of joyous, boyish bonhomie that he hadn’t exhibited since before his brief exile to Midgard.

Oh, wonderful.

Too late, the oaf had spotted him and he’d probably have to engage in at least some brief conversation before he could conjure another duplicate to slip away. What could he possibly say to congratulate his brother on gaining the one hand Loki had ever wanted to see in his? How could he possibly conceal his bitterness at the unwitting cruelty of it?

'Brother!’ Thor boomed, levering himself down onto the metal bench at Loki’s side. 'You will not believe what just happened!’

'I take it that congratulations are in order?’ Loki ground out.

'What? Oh, no!’ Thor slapped him on the shoulder. 'Y/N said she couldn’t marry me, thank god.’

'Oh dear.’ Trying to keep his voice neutral, Loki exhaled slowly as relief flooded him. Thank the Norns, finally, for some small mercy. 'Does she miss your flowing locks, perhaps?’

'Very funny. No, she said her heart belongs to someone else! How about that?’ Thor grinned as though he’d just said something terribly witty. 'It never even occurred to me that Y/N might have someone. Someone on this ship, since she said he’s alive. Oh, but it isn’t Heimdall.’

'Heimdall is old enough to be Y/N’s father,’ Loki pointed out, but the relief had already evaporated to be replaced once more by grim despair. Of course Y/N had a suitor. Amazing it was only one. And of course said suitor would have waited for her to return from her self-imposed exile, and of course the thrice-bedamned bastard would survive Ragnarok itself…

'I suppose.’ Thor for some reason seemed irrepressibly fascinated by the situation. 'She wouldn’t tell me who it was, though.’

'It’s hardly any of your business,’ Loki said. 'Or mine,’ he added, as much to remind himself as to point out that his brother was gossiping like an old washerwoman.

'I suppose not technically, but…she is rather like our sister, don’t you think?’

'I think given recent events, actively seeking out another sister sounds like a poor plan.’

'Well, yes, but-’ Thor nudged him insistently ’-don’t you want to know who it is? Oughtn’t we to find out, to make sure he's…well…worthy of her?’

That wasn’t actually the worst line of reasoning Loki had ever heard from his brother, but the idea of pursuing the information would be unlikely to end well.

'I’m sure Y/N would be touched by your concern,’ he said sarcastically, returning his attention fully to the slate in his hands. 'However I’ve certainly no interest in arousing her displeasure by poking my nose into the matter.’ And thereby putting a large target on the head of some unfortunate who has done no real wrong…and whose loss would break her heart.

Pah, I thought this would be right up your street, brother. Investigation, intrigue, sneaking about…’

'No.’ Loki got up and walked out, ignoring Thor’s playful shouts and not pausing for a moment until he was back in his quarters. A twist of frustrated magic burst from him, knocking things onto the floor. Ruthlessly he pulled it back under control and gestured sharply, summoning the doppelganger of Y/N. Tranquil, unjudging, gentle. Reaching out carefully, so as not to disturb the spell, he traced his fingers around the shape of her cheek.

'I love you more than anything in this world or any other,’ he whispered. 'No matter what.’

But of course the illusion simply looked back at him, serene and beautiful and as empty as always.

*

'Is it Bjarke, that artificer who solved the power integration problem?’

'How long are you going to keep at this? Surely you’ve named every unmarried Asgardian man on the ship by now.’

'Possibly.’ Thor smiled and shrugged. 'You still haven’t given me an answer. Not so much as a wink, a clue, anything!’

'Why are you so desperately insistent about knowing?’ Y/N exclaimed as they rounded the corner and entered the empty council chamber. 'Do you want to go and challenge him, or something similarly archaic?’

'No, of course not.’ Thor sat down and crossed his feet up on the table, then grinned when she slapped his boots down on a reflex. 'Y/N, I merely wish to know, whoever this man is, that he is worthy of you.’

She laughed.

Worthy of me? And by what yardstick would you measure such a thing, hmm?’

'Well-’ that had him stumped for a moment ’-I don’t know…does he seem honourable…is he of good mind, and heart…’

'I doubt very much he’d come out very well against your measurements of such things, Thor.’

'Eh?’

Slamming her data slate onto the table with unnecessary force, Y/N levelled her gaze at him.

'You won’t give up, will you?’

'Never!’ Thor leaned over and took her hands in his. 'Please, Y/N. I honestly don’t mean to tease, really. You know I care a great deal for you, and this mystery suitor of yours-’

'Hardly a suitor.’ She gave his fingers a squeeze and sighed. 'Thor, my heart belongs – entirely and completely – to Loki. I’ve loved him since I came of an age to see boys as anything more than a noisy nuisance.’

Thor felt his jaw drop.

'Despite knowing all that he’s done, the mistakes he’s made, even that he isn’t actually Aesir…’ Y/N shrugged and let go, sitting back with a wistful look '…he’s an imp and a scoundrel and he’s Loki. I know he’s done some…horrible, awful things, but he has a good heart.’

Thor was still gaping as the doors opened to admit Heimdall, and the sound of Loki and Brunhilde bickering just behind him.

'Even if he keeps it rather well hidden at times,’ Y/N finished under her breath, hastily shifting back to her usual chair but shooting Thor a stern glare that warned him to silence on the matter.

He could hardly concentrate as the business of the meeting got underway, barely managing monosyllabic grunts and acknowledgements to anything he was asked.

He felt like a fool. A blind, idiotic fool.

Even when you had both eyes, you only see half the picture.

Of course Y/N was in love with Loki. Even when the three of them were children, running riot around the palace, it was Loki and Y/N, Y/N and Loki. Hiding together, running together – usually from Thor – whispering together in corners or behind tapestries…

It took a whole hour after the council broke up before the King of Asgard realised something very important and practically sprinted down the passageway to his brother’s quarters.

*

The near-frantic hammering at his door made Loki hastily dismiss his current illusion spell and glance over in irritation.

Yes?’

Thor barged in without further preamble and an enormous grin plastered all over his big, oafish face.

'Brother! There you are!’

'What do you want?’ Loki snapped. The glamour he’d been practicing was quite involved – he was trying to recreate a particularly fond memory of himself and Y/N in the palace gardens.

'I’ve made a discovery of vital importance,’ Thor said, clapping his brother on the back.

'How wonderful for you.’

'It’s about Y/N.’ Thor sat down beside him and grinned. 'And her mystery man.’

'I’m not interested.’

'You should be.’

'And yet.’ Loki glared at him. 'I doubt she would appreciate your attempts to-’

'She told me who he is.’

'I don’t care.’

'I don’t believe you.’

'Good for you.’

'Loki!’ Thor punched him on the arm, hard. 'You really aren’t interested?’

'No, I’m not.’

Now his brother’s grin had taken on an even more buffoon-like quality than usual. Folding his arms – aware it was a defensive action and not caring – Loki fixed him with a steely gaze.

What?’

'You have no idea. Loki, God of Mischief, self-proclaimed master manipulator, and you have no idea!’ Thor seemed to be enjoying himself immensely for some reason.

'I have no idea about Y/N’s suitor because I choose not to,’ Loki spat back at him, irritated beyond measure with his persistence. 'As should you, it being none of either of our business-’

'It’s you.’

’-what?’

'Y/N has no suitor, she just said her heart belongs to another, and that man is you, brother!’ Thor thumped him on the arm again but this time Loki barely registered the impact because he was too busy battling to keep his expression under control. Devoid of any real reaction. Devoid of the completely irrational feeling of hope that welled up despite his best efforts to suppress it.

He looked away and constructed a shrug.

'If that is your attempt at a jest, brother, it is an exceptionally poor one.’

'I would not jest on this. Loki.’ Thor actually grabbed his arm and pulled him back. 'I’ve been trying for the last week to get Y/N to tell me who held her heart-’

Loki hardly heard him, mind racing. He couldn’t have let something slip. He was a master of masks, and he’d had centuries of practice with this particular one. Had Thor perhaps just stumbled upon this awful prank by pure chance, seeking something to taunt his brother with and having the idea prompted by the recent discovery of Y/N’s survival?

Yes, that must be it.

'Loki!’ Thor snapped his fingers in front of his brother’s nose. 'Are you even listening?’

'You’re hilarious,’ Loki said flatly. 'Forgive me for not rolling about in laughter but I’m rather weary.’

'You care for her so little that you’d treat this as a joke?’ Thor stood up, shifting rapidly from irritated affability to genuine displeasure. 'I thought you’d changed. Perhaps I was wrong.’

'I’m not the one making mockery of one he claimed to think of as a sister,’ Loki snapped.

'For god’s sake, Loki, you’re supposed to be the prince of lies, surely you can see when someone is telling you the truth?’

Thoroughly angry now, Loki looked at him with his mouth open to retort, but the words died before he could form them. Of course so much of subterfuge was knowing how to read it flawlessly in others, from their more obvious tells to the subtler signals available only to a master of magic…

There was no lie in Thor’s eyes.

The mask dropped before Loki could stop it, and an edge of something almost like pity crept into Thor’s gaze.

'Loki, you fool, how long have you felt this way about her?’

'Too long,’ Loki admitted, and had to lean both his hands on the tabletop to stop himself from stumbling. 'She has no idea. Nobody does. Did,’ he amended.

'Yet still you counselled for me to try and wed her?’

'She would make an excellent queen for Asgard.’ Loki hung his head and shook it. 'And you would have done everything in your power to make her happy.’

'I still will.’

That made him look up, and his brows creased.

'What?’

'Y/N will not marry me because her heart belongs to you. You rather clearly feel the same way about her, though you’ve hidden it even better than she has.’ Thor spread his hands in an expansive shrug. 'Why should you not be together, brother?’

'After all I’ve done, and all your talk of worthiness, you would send a frost giant to her?’ Loki asked, making no attempt to hide his bitterness at the latter part of the remark.

'She knows your heritage and cares not.’ Thor shrugged again. 'I care for both of you, and I believe she brings out the best of you. She always has, even when we were children.’

That made Loki laugh, although he couldn’t deny the truth in that verdict.

'Ah, so your plan is to leash me to Y/N to keep me behaving myself, is that it?’

'Will it count as a leash if you wear it willingly?’ Thor replied with another grin, and then sobered. 'If this will make someone I care for very much so happy, and give me my brother back…how could I possibly do anything but wish for it to be so?’

That was actually rather touching, but Loki still found himself wary to the point of hesitancy. After everything he’d done, the lives he’d taken, the knowledge that he was a monster from the nightmares of Aesir children…it was one thing to say she cared for him, but if he dared to present himself to Y/N and ask for her favour then surely, surely she would recoil in shock.

He was startled out of this unpleasant rumination when Thor stepped behind him, grabbed him by his upper arms and practically frog-marched him out of the room and down the corridor.

'What are you doing?’

'You can thank me later.’ Stopping in front of another cabin door, Thor put him squarely in front of it, leaned around to knock loudly on the metal and then turned to depart. Loki floundered for a moment – he hadn’t been so summarily carted somewhere by his brother in well over eight centuries – but before he could summon the wherewithal to do anything at all, least of all flee or cloak himself, the door opened and Y/N was regarding him with a rather confused expression.

'Loki? What’s wrong?’ She ushered him quickly inside while he was still trying to gain control of his tongue. 'You look like you’ve just been savaged by a bilgesnipe!’

The entirely relevant but inappropriate conclusion had a snort of laughter escaping before he could censor it.

'No, I – ah – I just needed to speak with you.’

'Of course.’ She motioned for him to take one end of the small couch and then sat down a decorous distance away. Loki swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. This would never do…the God of Mischief, left tongue-tied like a stripling boy…

'What is it?’ Y/N asked him gently, reaching out to lightly touch the back of his hand. When he looked at her she gave a small smile. 'Oh dear. The last time a son of Odin boggled at me like that things got extremely awkward.’

'Yes. About that.’ His voice broke and he hurriedly cleared his throat. 'Thor told me about the – um – the proposal. And why you…said no to him.’

A guarded tension stiffened her shoulders.

'Oh?’

Loki risked shuffling up a little and took her nearby hand in both of his.

'Yes. All of it.’

He hadn’t seen her look that murderous since he’d set fire to her doll when they were children. And that had been an accident. Well, mostly.

'I am going to kill that useless, nosy, prying-’

'Y/N, I love you.’ It came out in rather a rush, and Loki hastily carried on in the vague hope that with sufficient momentum behind them the words would come easier. 'I’ve always loved you. I never thought – I never imagined you would – especially after everything…the Bifrost, and Midgard, and knowing how I hurt you by pretending to be dead for so long-’

He was obliged to stop when her lips suddenly arrived on his. Then they were kissing each other and her hands were on his face, his fingers were winding through her hair and the entire room seemed to shrink to nothing but the feel of her against him…

They were both gasping by the time they broke for air. Loki pulled Y/N closer and leaned his forehead against hers, feeling a grin escape. Then it became a laugh – the most free, open one he could remember having uttered in years – and her chuckle rose to meet his until they were both all but doubled over in each other’s embrace.

'Oh, Loki-’ Y/N tangled her hands up through his dark locks ’-we’re both such idiots. I never even dreamed a prince of Asgard could love a mere housekeeper.’

'And I never thought a beautiful, kind-hearted seneschal could care for a lesser son, or a monster.’ Loki touched her cheek and then drew back, dropping his gaze. 'You know what I am. I’m not even Aesir. I can’t-’ he swallowed ’-I can’t give you children, or anything normal-’

'Hush.’ She kissed him again, with such tenderness that it made his heart ache. 'Loki, I love you, with everything that means.’ Her smile warmed him down to his toes. 'Why in all the Realms would I want something normal when I could have you?’

'You…truly don’t care?’

'Not in the slightest. Besides-’ she winked ’-with your idiot interfering bilgesnipe of a brother to look after, what need will we have of children?’

They both laughed at that and Loki pulled her closer, into his arms where he’d so yearned to have her for so very long.

'That’s very true.’

'I’m still going to kill him,’ she added playfully.

'Of course. Maybe be merciful and make it painless.’

'If you insist.’ Tucking her head under his chin, she sighed deeply. 'How I love you, Loki.’

'And I love you.’ He turned his head so his cheek rested on her hair. 'I should have told you so a long time ago.’

'Tell me every day,’ she replied softly.

'As my lady wishes,’ he said with a laugh, and kissed her.

*

Thor was halfway back to his own cabin, grinning delightedly and feeling thoroughly pleased with himself, when something else occurred to him and made him stop short.

'Wait – who did Y/N think I was going to ask to marry me?“

Fears Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Requester: atliefloresdaprimavera

Prompt: Reader is Bills gf, and she’s a famous book author and she’s terrified of clowns. They both support each other and are each others biggest fans so when he tells her he got the role she swallows her fear (he knows about her phobia) and helped him prepare for the role, but she didn’t want to go to visit on set; but the kids are her fans and she went to visit them one day later he tells on interviews he was scared for their relationship because of the role.

Warning: None 

Originally posted by deathtown

Originally posted by carlaconce

You hummed as you wrote on the computer trying to figure out what to write for your new book. You at the moment we’re having the worst kind of thing an author can go through—writers block. You had tried to start a new book but it just ended up falling apart before it could even take off.

Even the best authors such as Stephen King and J.K Rowling had writers block. According to most you were considered one of those truly best selling authors but you didn’t really think of yourself as one of the best even though that was how you met your boyfriend the Bill Skarsgård.

He was one of your biggest fans and you were of him and then one day during a book signing you met and it was pretty much love at first sight. You looked up from your computer at the tv show currently playing on the TV, Supernatural. You were on the episode with Sam and the clown.

Your heart raced incredibly fast when you saw the clown and had to look back down at the computer to avoid watching. You were terrified, TERRIFIED of clowns. When you were little your older brother and his friends thought it would be a good idea to fill the cellar full of antique life size clown dolls both made for Halloween (aka motion activated) and just for decoration.

And no, they didn’t just leave you in there for a few minutes and then just let you out they left you in there all night. You had to go to therapy for 2 years just to get over not suddenly shrieking at the top of your lungs for several minutes when you saw a clown on the tv.

Even if it was a fun colorful clown with painted dimples and mouth you still had a bad breakdown. You continued to stare at your screen and try to figure out how to even start the story.

Once upon a time?

Once upon a dream? (Reference!)

So a man walks into a bar…?

You groaned and slumped down tapping your bottom lip in thought. Several minutes had passed and you still didn’t write anything down. Your prayers were sort of answered when Bill came in.

“Hey!” He called from across the condo.

“Hey honey! How was your day?” You called.

“Amazing. You won’t believe what role I got.” He replied walking into the living room.

“Ooh is it popular?” You asked picking up your mug of coffee.

“Yeah you know that movie IT? I’m playing Pennywise.”

You instantly choked on your drink coughing and hacking and placing the mug back on the coffee table to avoid dropping or spilling it. Bill rushed over gently patting your back as you wheezed and felt the rest of the coffee go down.

“What’s wrong babe?” He asked.

“You…Pennywise…”

Bill remembered your extreme clown fear and frowned, “I know your afraid of clowns so that’s why I came to you before I could accept.”

“Uh…yeah, I’m perfectly fine about it. Just don’t think about coming home dressed as a clown unless you want me to beat you to death with a bat.” You warned.

He smiled and kissed your head before saying, “Thanks baby. I love you.”

“Love you too.” You sighed.

He walked off and you continued to stare at the blinking cursor.

So far the IT remake had been in production for a month now and Bill was doing a pretty good job making sure to not act like Pennywise when he arrives home. The first time he did slip up was with his creepy laugh.

You both were putting the dishes away and talking when he did the Pennywise laugh and your glass slipped and shattered onto the counter. Bill snapped his head towards you and saw you were staring at him wide eyed and paralyzed like there was a clown right behind him.

“Sorry I…”

“No, no it’s fine. I’m fine.” You said before walking off to get the duster.
L
Ever since then he’s been extra careful not to act or talk like his character.

3 months into production he had finally been able to meet the Losers kids. He talked to them when he was out of costume and when he mentioned you all their eyes lit up in a split second.

“Your dating (Name) (Last Name)???” Jaeden (aka Bill) asked.

“Yeah you know her?” Bill said.

“I love her book Deathly Dreams.” Sophia (Beverly) said her eyes twinkling. All their eyes were as they shared what books they loved the most.

“Can you please bring her down here? My life would be complete if I got her autograph and got to talk to her.” Wyatt (Stan) pleaded.

“Pleeeaaase?” All the Losers nearly begged making puppy eyes.

Bill laughed knowing he was out matched against the seven kids (both in and out of character) and calmly said, “Alright, alright. I’ll try to get her down here.”

They cheered and Bill frowned hoping you’d be up for it. Maybe if he just tried to avoid you in costume like he did with the kids you’d be fine.

Right?

Later that night he bit his lip as he came home to find you were sitting in front of your computer typing your book.

“Hey sweetie.” He greeted kissing your head.

“Hey honey.” You replied picking your head up for a lip kiss instead.

He eagerly did and sat down next to you gently rubbing your shoulders making you look at him concerned.

“What?” Bill asked.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“No your just looking tense.” He replied.

“Well how did filming go today?” You asked turning your head to continue to type.

“Good. I uh…talked to the kids…and they’re actually big fans of you.”

“Really?” You asked snapping your head towards him.

“Yeah. They were fangirling over you.”

“Awww that’s so sweet.” You giggled.

“Well…um…they also wanted to see you.”

Your smile faded slowly realizing why he was doing that. He wanted you to come onto the set to see the kids but…he would be in his character and…oh no.

“I mean you don’t have to we can just-”

“N-No it’s fine, I’ll go. I mean I kind of always wanted to see a movie behind the scenes with my own eyes. Maybe it’ll help me with this stupid book.” You said.

“Really?”

“Totally.”

“You sure?”

“Bill, I’ll be fine.” You assured him.

“Alright.” He sighed.

The next day you went in with him and got to meet the director Andy who was also a big fan of your books. He lead you over to where the children were for makeup and as soon as you walked in they recognized you and nearly tackled you in a hug fangirling.

“Oh my gosh your (Name) (Last Name)!” Jack (Eddie) squealed.

“Yes I am.” You smiled feeling like you were floating in space.

A famous horror movie director and 7 soon-to-be famous kids loved your books?

Who knew?!

You took selfies with them, signed their books, talked to them, until you needed to use the bathroom. Good news was you were in a warehouse so you didn’t have to do your business in the woods or in a porta potty.

Bad news was you were lost trying to find your way back from the bathroom.

You were sure you had gone too far deep into the warehouse and now were wandering around the creepy place looking everywhere. You couldn’t find anyone to ask where you were so you were alone, becoming scared, and confused.

Great.

You sighed as you continued to wander your footsteps echoing. You heard the sound of laughter and shuddered remembering that laugh. A clown’s laugh. It sounded so familiar to the one over a decade and a half ago when you were in the cellar. Your heart was racing as you tried to get away from the source of the laughs.

Fear was overtaking your mind as you hurried to find your way out looking left and right. The echoes only seemed to be getting closer but you couldn’t tell if it was you  or the thing releasing the laughter going closer.

You finally came into a room and your blood ran ice cold and your heart seemed to stop dead. Standing there was a clown. Your brain was so filled with fear that it didn’t recognize that it was Bill.

If anyone saw him really unless they knew they wouldn’t be able to recognize him underneath all the makeup. You surely didn’t. When the clown turned to face you your skin turned paper white and your breath was trapped in your throat.

“(Name)?” Bill said in his real voice.

He started walking towards you and you took several steps back before running.

“(Name)!” Bill called.

He watched as you ran as fast as you could which was faster than him.

“(Name)!” He called.

“Leave me alone!” You screamed.

You ran into a closet and slammed the door shut hyperventilating. You ran your fingers through your hair and curled up in the corner feeling incredibly dizzy and sick.

“(Name)? (Name) please, where are you?” He asked.

You weren’t able to reply back gasping too hard. It hurt to breathe. You heard the knock on the door and you shuddered, “(Name)? You in here?”

“Bill I’m so scared.” You sobbed.

“(Name), it’s just me. Okay. I’m dressed as Pennywise but I’m not going to hurt you. Okay?”

“O-o-okay.”

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“S-Sure.”

“(Name), I need a yes or a no…”

You took a deep breath before firmly replying, “Yes.”

The door opened and you squeaked and curled in on yourself. Despite this Bill walked over to you and knelt down in front of you.

“(Name), please don’t be scared. It’s me Bill.”

You slowly opened your eyes but you could still only see the clown. Your heart was pounding so fast your body had told you to get up and run but Bill was quicker and pulled you to his chest in a hug. You frantically panicked nearly hyperventilating as you tried to get away.

“(Name), it’s just me. It’s just me.” He whispered comfortingly.

He took off his silk glove and reached up to his eye before taking off one of the yellow contact lenses revealing his actual blue-green ones. You gradually relaxed and leaned onto his chest.

Under all that latex and makeup you could still smell his cologne letting you know it was indeed him. You wrapped his arms tightly around him taking slow breaths to calm yourself down.

“You okay now?” He asked after a few minutes.

You nodded and he smiled and nuzzled your forehead since he’d smear his lipstick.

“You actually helped me get over my fear of clowns.” You said softly.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss you. When he pulled away he couldn’t help but smile noticing your lips were tainted a light red. Bill placed his eye contact back on and you shuddered but otherwise didn’t run away.

“I love you.” Pennywise said softly.

“I love you too.” You giggled, “And your little clown nose too.”

“Yeah I brought my girlfriend who is like terrified of clowns to the set to ya know meet the kids and, um, she ended up getting lost and found me when I was deep in character as the clown and…yeah I scared her really badly. I thought she was going to break up with me but she didn’t…. I have the best girlfriend ever…”

Epilogue: I really liked this prompt idea cuz I’m terrified of clowns and like Bill is equal parts sexy and scary. Idk that’s just me. Thanx for reading! :3!

Lighting in The Last Jedi trailer and that scene we are all talking about.

Like many of you that last bit of the trailer had me screaming at the tv. After the initial freak out phase had passed, I began to slowly shift into the what if phase, meaning– are they baiting me? Now there are several theories out there about who Kylo is holding his hand out too. Some say its Leia and not Rey. What if I told you the proof is in the shot itself? 

I am about to give you a quick lesson in lighting, visual storytelling, and cinematography. 

Let’s go back to The Force Awakens as a reference guide. The lighting on Starkiller base bridge you know that scene where he kills his dad? 

Lighting was something they made sure to get right in this scene. Notice how Kylo’s face is half hidden in shadow and the other in light. Signifying his split.

JJ says this  “ And you see the light go away. And now they’re in this darkness. And darkness takes over.”

The play with light was even more apparent when Kylo and Rey face off against the edge of the cliff. 

Now I’m about to throw some cited literary sources about Film and Lighting just so it’s importance is established. 

“In visual storytelling, few elements are as effective and as powerful as light and color. They have the ability to reach the viewers at a purely emotional gut level”(Brown, 2012, p. 8).

Light becomes mood that gives its tone to a film. It calls upon our memory to react to physical phenomena such as cold, rain, fog, sun, or dryness, and come up with psychological equivalents such as annoyance, sadness, mystery, fear, anguish, comfort, joy, gaiety, etc. As these effects produce immediate impressions in viewers, the cinematographer is able to obtain psychological reactions out of mere technical means (Geuens, 2000, p. 153).


Architecture and Film both use perceptual psychology to get people to see spaces in a certain way. Architecture lighting designers skillfully illuminate buildings and rooms with psychological intentions.

Lighting designers think about a psychological response and how behavior is affected by lighting. Some examples are:

1. Visibility of vertical and horizontal junctions aids orientation.

2. People follow the brightest path.

3. Brightness can focus attention.

4. Facing wall luminance is a preference.

5. Lighting can affect body position (Ginthner, accessed April, 2013 p.2).

Just as lighting designers light spaces to stimulate human mood and behavior, Cinematographers light the space inside a movie frame with the intent to persuade a viewer’s perception. The way objects are lit in the frame will focus the viewer’s attention, the amount of shadows cast will limit perception, and changing lights can indicate a change in a character or opportunity (Brown, 2012).

However, unlike film, architecture has had a psychological study on how different light in a physical space effect human arousal, concentration, memory, work productivity, and Mood.

If you take any type of filmmaking class, this is one of the first things you learn. Nothing is a mistake in these films everything is as designed to serve a purpose. 

So let’s dive into the scene in question. 

Originally posted by mine-loves

First of all, let us talk about how these two shots are framed. They are close up only showing the faces of our characters. 

Close up shots typically contain just the face and shoulders of a subject, with a little headroom above. This prevents ‘floating head syndrome’ as the shoulders suggest to the brain that there is a body below! These shots are the most common of all as they can convey a real sense of emotion and help the audience to connect with the subject.

Second, let’s talk about the choice of lighting

They are both in a warm fiery glow. 

You can judge the quality of light in a film scene through the hardness or softness of its shadows. Hard quality light has dark shadows with sharp edges and often feels more raw than soft quality light. Soft lighting, often used in older films, has lighter, diffused shadows and tends to feel more sentimental.

And with advances in film technology, sharp shadows can also be quite romantic. Case in point, this still from the end of the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice:

Third, let’s talk color 

Color temperature is one of the first things to note when studying the lighting in a romantic scene. Is it orange? Bluish? White? Most often, warm colors add to an inviting, romantic atmosphere. For example, the warm light in the sunset scene in Titanic draws the audience in, unlike the cold, blue lighting later in the movie, after things get dire.

Forth let’s talk context

This is not the same scene with Kylo. Rey is still wearing her resistance clothing. This is the beginning of the film. 

The context matters especially in this scene where Rey is talking about needing someone to show her where she belongs. Is this romantic? The answer is, no. Is it intimate? Yes. The scene can be set up this way without any romantic implications. But it is definitely meant to be intimate. Rey is vulnerable at this moment and is speaking from her heart to Luke. Please show me what to do with myself. 

Now let’s move to Kylo’s scene which is no doubt at the end of the movie (because his scar is healed.) 

Our big bad villain is bathed in nearly the exact same lighting and color as Rey’s shot, even the framing is the same. In no other shot ever has Kylo Ren been depicted in these colors. Not in the teaser and not in TFA. Kylo is always in red or dark. The context of this shot is very very important. He is reaching out palm up as to take someone’s hand. He does this slow and gentle. His face is soft with what I would say a plea. 

Yes, this is a call back to Darth Vader asking Luke to join him on the Darkside in Empire Strikes Back. But if you go back and watch that scene it is intimately framed (remember context matters), but the colors are pale. Lukes’ face is in agony. Vader extends his hand it’s rigid and forced.


Before I get into more examples, I want to point out that yes trailers are meant to give you an idea, and intrigue you but they are also meant to misdirect. 

Trailer Misdirects/Visual Storytelling and Dialogue

The misdirect of this scene is to make you believe Rey might join the dark side with Kylo or at least first glance. General Audience viewers casual fans who do not give it any second deep thought will accept this and move on. However, more dedicated fans will step in and try to dissect the scene by looking at the image and not the overall meaning behind everything we discussed above. The trailer isn’t designed to give anything away. Which leads me to say this is very smart editing on Rian’s behalf. While it doesn’t give us the answer of will, she or won’t she? It provides us with the question that we will inevitably discuss in length until the movie is released. 

 I would also like to point out there is a visual storytelling aspect of this trailer when it comes to the dialogue. 

One example of this not related to the scene in question comes from Poe Dameron.  He states “We have the spark that will ignite the fire to bring the First Order down.” The next scene we get is Finn. It is pretty clear that bit of dialogue was meant for Finn. He will no doubt help bring the FO down as other Stormtroopers defect as he did. Finn is that spark for the rebellion. Now let’s talk about the Rey/Kylo scene. The same thing happens here. Her dialogue coincides with the next shot of Kylo. Also, notice (scroll up if you need to) how their faces are opposite each other Rey is looking slightly to our left while Kylo is looking slightly to the right. Their positions are mirrored which is a recurring theme in the TFA (see the snow fight). This is beautiful visual storytelling. TFA was full of the same imagery lighting and storytelling. I have a post about it HERE

I went through and found scenes that mimic that of what we saw in the trailer, down to color, lighting, and frame.  I also chose male and female characters. Guess what, all of them were romantic. 

I chose this because of the flares in the background and the close-up framing of their faces. Notice yes the color is blue because they are parting (remember CONTEXT). 

Next, we have a scene from Pride and Prejudice, but beyond the romance aspect, I want you to watch the light change of this scene. Elizabeth is bathed in blue until she accepts Darcy, taking his hand. The sunlight beams between them warming the scene.  Skip to 3:10

Here is an oldie but a goody. I chose this due to the color. Now remember this film is old, lighting techniques have come a long way since the 1930s, but their choice of color is important, along with the shadows on their faces. 

Ah, Jon and Dany. This is very romantic (even tho its incest lol) But take a look at the lighting between them also this part is (NSFW) if you are gonna watch till the end. You were warned. 


And now for the grand finale TFA cliff scene. Oh, I chose this little diddy to drive home a point. Kylo and Reys’ faces are framed intimately (which signified they would have a more profound connection later and at that moment they were finding the Force together) But also notice their faces are bathed in mostly pale colors due to it being cold. Yes, the lightsabers flicker red and blue onto them. Yes, that holds meaning as well, the fight between the dark and the light. But the overall pallet is pale frigid colors. Also, the context -- there’s that word again– of this scene is they are enemies fighting. Kylo does want to teach her, but he’s aggressive and forceful, to say the least. It is a stark contrast to what we see in TLJ trailer. Where he is calm relaxed and in warm, inviting lighting. No aggressive posture, no forceful plea.

If you want to contrast another couple, please refer to Pride and Prejudice again. I can’t upload it here, but this is the link. This is where Darcy says he loves Elizabeth, but she rejects him. They have close-ups, but the color and lighting are not intimate. Its pale lighter and blue. All things that are associated with sadness rejection etc. You get the point. 

So in conclusion. It is my opinion based on all information gathered on cinematography, that yes the relationship between Kylo Ren or perhaps Ben Solo at this point has drastically changed. It is no longer one of animosity or hate. Judging by the warm colors, and the soft shadows and above all else the context of the gesture/posture/facial expression of Ben it is romantic or at the very least (for the skeptics) a special relationship– Remember Rey and Ben are similar in Force power according to Luke- this gives them a bridge to each other one that will take them to understanding and COMPASSION. I am not saying they kiss, I am not saying they are a couple at the end of this movie. I am saying that it’s possible that it will move in this direction. They no longer hate each other. How did we get to this point? Well, we have a whole Act 1 and 2 to get through for that answer. 

I will stress that I believe that yes Ben/Kylo is holding his hand out to Rey. And no, it is not out of malice or deception. He is not asking her to join him on the Darkside… He is asking her to go with him and for acceptance. 

I made a follow-up post to this because this was so long! Please click here to see more examples and extra information