no idea what other emotion to do

anonymous asked:

simon, how do i not be abusive? I’m mentally ill and don’t know how to not fall into a vicious cycle of lashing out and causing emotional harm to the people i love and then me crying and feeling awful because i didn’t mean to and it garners pity and a vague idea i won’t do it again, and i don’t know what to do. i’m not a good person, simon. i’m a hypocrite. i’m inconsiderate. i’m rash and stubborn and close minded. i don’t know how to be any other way, i’m at a loss to improve myself

That you proclaim these things about yourself tells me two things: Either you have low self-esteem, which is a common symptom of mental illness, or you actually do behave this way, but are smart enough and therefore able to both notice and counteract them.

I am no expert in human psychology, but I know from my own experiences that the act of silencing the urge to be angry is an arduous task. It has been my constant undertaking for almost four centuries, and only now do I have a grasp of what habits it takes for me to succeed. If my experience can be any pattern to yours, you will have to do several things

First, you must make your friends aware that you are trying to work on improving this. It may be a humbling conversation, but it will help.

Secondly, you will have to find some way to help yourself break the anger or frustration cycle. It may be something as simple as a visual cue, or it may be some sort of mantra you repeat to stop yourself from reacting. I prefer long division.

Thirdly, once you’ve broken your response cycle, you have to walk away or tell the person you’re speaking to that you need to leave the conversation for a moment, for their benefit.

I think, however, that the one thing that leads to abusive behavior is self-centeredness. And I mean this in many ways. There is the simple selfishness of being so caught in your own thinking that you cannot even conceive of how others are thinking. Then there is the more complicated narcissism that views those around you as being merely facets of your experience. There’s basic conceit and arrogance and there is pervasive megalomania. But, I think you are not on the extensive side of the spectrum or you wouldn’t recognize the behavior. So it is up to you to remind yourself that your experience is not universal.

I say this often and for me it is true: Kindness is a practice. It is a discipline. It is something I work very hard at and it seems you may need to learn how to as well. Much of my capacity for it is built upon centuries of patience-gaining exercise, forced humility, and suffering. I have seen too much.

I don’t know the particulars of your mental health issue, and as I’ve said, I am no expert, but if you wish to speak on this privately, I am hear to listen.

Another humans are weird space orcs idea because I really like thinking about it. What if aliens have no idea how to hide their emotions? Like, they suck at poker because they can never keep a straight face or anything. or, on a darker note, their ship is hijacked and they can’t keep the fear out of their faces, but all the humans look cold and emotionless to them. Other aliens hating having to bargain with humans becase we can bluff and keep our emotions in check so well, but when they get frustrated it’s all over. Pirates threaten the space ship and they send the human to do negotiations, and the pirate talking is super confused because no matter what threat he makes, the human just doesn’t seem to be fazed one bit.


Someone please, feel free to add to this, I love to see what else people come up with!

@space-australians

The Signs at their Best / The Signs at their Worst
  • Aries at their best: Full of life, adventurous and with a bright light in their eyes - a light bright enough to make all darkness disappear. Challenging, caring and with a big smile on their face. Admiring all beauty they can see, their head filled with plans. Nothing could ever bring them down, nothing could come between them and whatever it is that they want.
  • Aries at their worst: Doubting themselves in a very destructive way. They think it's all their fault and that they can't make anyone truly happy. Reckless. Cannot be reached by anyone, no one knows what's going on inside their head. Harsh. Don't care if they hurt someone's feelings or not. Don't care at all.
  • Taurus at their best: Absolute sweethearts with a great wits. Their heart is only open wide for people they choose carefully because they know it's for their own good. They know what's good for them and they're confident because they know what they're capeable of. A true and fair winner. Caring, charming, funny, intelligent, affectionate.
  • Taurus at their worst: They seem cold and careless. They know how to use words when they want to cause pain with them and they do that. Doubting themselves, suddenly lost all their confidence. Can't really control their feelings and tend to explode. Not looking after themselves and their loved ones because they're busy being stuck in a bad mood but deep down they're very very sorry for it.
  • Gemini at their best: A head full of ideas, a chest full of life. Up to something great, smiling, laughing, telling jokes, telling the greatest stories. Caring, motivating and inspiring. Freedom-loving, passionate about life, creative. Helpful, knows how to cheer you up. They don't run out of energy, they keep going.
  • Gemini at their worst: There is no sparkle in their eyes. Their hands are cold and their look is empty. Everything bores them, bothers them or sucks the life out of their bones. They don't see or hear anything, they're lost in thoughts. Get mean easily, say things they don't mean. Hurt others on purpose but end up hurting themselves. Self-pitying, over-emotional or not showing any emotion.
  • Cancer at their best: Brave people of good heart. Kind and caring, spreading love and good vibes. They fight for what they want, they always have something to say. Generous, understanding, shining as bright as the sun. A smile that makes others smile. They are very strong and handle their emotions wisely. Not to be underestimated.
  • Cancer at their worst: Say or do things they regret immediately. Forget to take care of themselves. They don't talk to anyone, don't reply. They tend to put themselves under an enormous emotional pressure. May manipulate others or completely lock themselves away.
  • Leo at their best: The literal sun. They shine so bright even when they're not smiling. Their laugh echoes, everybody hears it. Very proud, ambitious, kind, fair and loving. Bring happiness wherever they go, bring light into the dark. Full of dreams and very intelligent. The one that makes a boring evening a perfect one. Protective and they have a great sense of humour.
  • Leo at their worst: Believing themselves to be not good enough, doubting themselves and suffering from it. Harsh and kind of cold. Their look is still powerful and you dare not to speak to them. They drift away, may get mean or change their mind really quick because they just don't know what they want and it frustrates them so much.
  • Virgo at their best: Really good at doing what they love to do. Happy to spend time with people they like, generous and gentle, wise, gives great advices. Takes hints, makes great surprises and knows how to comfort people. Full of life and they have a great wits. The one that keeps you grounded. Honest and fair.
  • Virgo at their worst: Causing pain or worries to others to release themselves from it. They may be manipulative and self-pitying, exaggerating and not really speaking up. They tend to make decisions they will regret later. They forget how clever they are or they doubt their skills and their intelligence and make themselves smaller than they are.
  • Libra at their best: A great supporter. Someone with an eye for beauty, a charming smile and an amazing aura. They are funny, full of ideas and spontaneous. Remember little things and can easily make others happy what they love to do. Very creative, honest and they have a wild soul.
  • Libra at their worst: Moody, not seeing themselves as the masterpiece they are. Letting everybody know how they feel. Cold and feeling incredibly bad about it. They just hide away from the world and won't let anything come close to them. In pain just because they see all the flaws in their lives although there may not even be some.
  • Scorpio at their best: Passionate, strong, strong-willed, skilled and loving. They are full of secrets which is why they can keep secrets like no one else. An entire universe for themselves. They don't care about limits but in a good way. They share their ideas and dreams and cheer others up.
  • Scorpio at their worst: Neglecting their friends, their family, their duties and themselves. Reckless and not saying much about it. Things that usually fascinate them do not fascinate them anymore and they feel like nothing could ever make them smile again. Everything they love starts seeming so irrelevant to them.
  • Sagittarius at their best: Funny, uplifting, full of life and good energy. They don't care what anyone thinks of them, they will dance to loud music whenever they feel like it. They are open minded and interested in things, prepared to stand up for what they believe in at any time.
  • Sagittarius at their worst: Feeling depressed and not able to explain it, express it or talk about it. Over emotional and hot tempered, about to explode although they don't always know why. About to yell at someone for little things although they don't want to. Tired of everything.
  • Capricorn at their best: A guardian angel. Always there when you need them, glad to help. Caring for themselves and really moving things. Know how to use words and what to say in any situation. Working on something great, motivating others, taking care of people.
  • Capricorn at their worst: Sarcastic and they just shut everything down. Maybe bitter over something, maybe making others upset, too. Seem to have given up. Not sure what to do or what to say. Doubting themselves deep down but not willing to admit it. Not showing any emotions.
  • Aquarius at their best: An actual source of energy. Always have the greatest plans and ideas, dislike boredom. They love communicating and meeting new people, seeing new places. Curious about life, wanting to explore the world. Lift others up with their presence only.
  • Aquarius at their worst: Complaining over everything and annoying others with it. They don't care about anything anymore, reckless. Do not care anymore and do their own thing even though it might not be good for them. Ignoring others and feeling empty deep down. Like they ran out of energy.
  • Pisces at their best: Supporting others, taking care of others but also of themselves. Very clever, know what to say, funny. Their fantasy knows no limits and they're very productive. Do art or listen to music. Make others smile and fascinate them. Playing their own little games. Inspired.
  • Pisces at their worst: Feeling incredibly sad because of how the world is. Manipulative and stubborn. Actually dangerous because you just can't tell what they're up to. Revengeful. They have no energy and feel powerless, underestimated and not treated how they think they should be treated.

i think the most egregious example of the manic pixie dream girl trope was this play i but I just remembered seeing it, several years ago… 

it was about this sad-sack guy driving across the country to try and reunite his old band for one last show

he’s accompanied by this girl who he was in the band with, back in the day… and he was in love with her then, and she’s cool & smart & funny & talks only to him for the entire play, even when the rest of the band joins him on the drive

& at the end of the play it turns out that she was a ghost the whole time, nobody else in the play could see or hear her, & the ‘last show’ he kept referring to is actually going to be her funeral wake bcs she died..

That her ghost had accompanied them on this trip bcs he was grieving & she wanted to help him let go of her…

which, you know, was a surprise & it was really emotional & legit the play was pretty good

But I just started thinking about it randomly…

And I keep being struck by the fact that the play only works if the entire audience is so used to the idea that a female character would literally only speak to the main male character for the entire length of a narrative.

Would only converse with him, interact with him, even when there were other people around.

That even as he talked about what he was doing next, she never discussed their future goals. She never touched any props or anyone other than him. 

That nothing she did or said would genuinely have anything to do with herself as a person, except in the context of how he felt about her. 

The entire play hinges on the audience not expecting anything hinky about a female character who acts like that,

& most of the audience bought it, hook, line, and sinker.

even I did. there was genuine feeling of surprise in the room

and I just…

A woman can literally be an incorporeal ghost & as long as she is emotionally supportive of a man we see her as a fully realistically person

if that isn’t a sad indictment of how female characters get treated idk what is, honestly

ETA: FOR THE LOVE OF HECK, THE POINT OF THIS POST IS NOT ‘CHARACTERS ARE SECRET GHOSTS SOMETIMES’, PLEASE STOP CITING THE SIXTH SENSE.

THE POINT OF THIS POST IS I CAN THINK OF MANY OTHER STORIES WHERE THE OSTENSIBLY FLESH-AND-BLOOD FEMALE ROMANTIC INTEREST OF THE HERO COULD HAVE BEEN REVEALED TO HAVE BEEN A INCORPOREAL GHOST AT THE END OF THE STORY.
AND THE REST OF THE NARRATIVE WOULD STILL WORK FINE, BECAUSE SHE WAS OTHERWISE THAT UTTERLY LACKING IN AN INTERIOR LIFE.

German words without English equivalent
  • <p> <b>Engelsgeduld:</b> (lit.: angel's patience) great amount of patience<p/><b>Feierabend:</b> (lit.: party-evening) the rest of the day that remains after work<p/><b>Fernweh:</b> the desire/longing to travel to faraway places/ foreign countries<p/><b>Fingerspitzengefühl:</b> (lit.: fingertips-feeling) good skill in handling things/ sensitivity and empathy<p/><b>Fremdschämen:</b> (lit.: foreign shame) shame that arises from the compassion with someone who made a fool of himself<p/><b>Geborgenheit:</b> more than safety, protection and invulnerability, it symbolises peace, warmth and calm you feel especially when you're with the people you're close to (e.g. family, friends)<p/><b>Gemütlichkeit:</b> feeling of comfort<p/><b>Habseligkeiten:</b> valuable and personally important possessions<p/><b>Innerer Schweinehund:</b> (lit.: inner pig-dog = weaker self) the part of a person that they have to overcome to be productive<p/><b>Kitsch:</b> objects with superficial beauty that are actually useless but are appreciated nonetheless<p/><b>Konfliktfähigkeit:</b> (lit.: conflict ability/skill) ability to deal with conflict / ability to constructively solve interpersonal conflicts<p/><b>Kummerspeck:</b> (lit.: grief/sorrow bacon (fat)) gained weight from emotional overeating (especially after a breakup)<p/><b>Lebenslüge:</b> (lit.: life's lie) a lie that you tell yourself to make life more bearable<p/><b>Mitdenken:</b> (lit.: with-thinking) ability to think for yourself and do more than what you were demanded to do / trying to find a conceptional solution to a problem together with other people<p/><b>Sehnsucht:</b> intense inner longing for somebody, something or a place<p/><b>Schnapsidee:</b> (lit.: schnapps idea) a ridiculous and crazy plan/idea you have while you are drunk<p/><b>Sprachgefühl:</b> (lit.: language feeling) feeling/sense of language, instinctive feel for a certain language / intuitive feeling of what is linguistically appropriate<p/><b>Stehaufmännchen:</b> (lit.: little stand up man) someone who doesn't give up and begins anew<p/><b>Torschlusspanik:</b> (lit.: gate-closing-panic) the fear of missing something important / not being able to do some things (because you're too old)<p/><b>Verschlimmbessern:</b> (lit.: verschlimmern=exasperate, verbessern=improve) improve something for the worse / make something worse but with having had the intention of improving it<p/><b>Vorführeffekt:</b> (lit.: demo effect) the effect that something you're actually able to do doesn't work when you want to demonstrate it to other people<p/><b>Waldeinsamkeit:</b> (lit.: forest loneliness/solitude) the seclusion/solitude of the forest<p/><b>Warmduscher:</b> (lit.: warm showerer/ somebody who showers with warm water) a wimp / a person that doesn't like to leave their comfort zone<p/><b>Weltschmerz:</b> (lit.: world pain (world weariness)) gratuitous melancholia / kind of feeling experienced by someone who believes that physical reality can never satisfy the demands of the mind / the feeling of anxiety caused by the ills of the world<p/><b>Zeitgeist:</b> (lit.: time-spirit, spirit of the time ) the dominant set of ideals and beliefs that motivate the actions of the members of a society in a particular period in time<p/></p>
Undeveloped vs developed moon signs

Aries moon
Undeveloped: aggressive, too competitive, mood swings, childish and immature
Developed: goal-orientated, hardworking, but not too hard, funny and open

Taurus moon
Undeveloped: lazy, rude, holds grudges, judging, has to be right all the time
Developed: stable, good with money, great with kids and family, able to make compromises

Gemini moon
Undeveloped: shallow, two-faced, playing mind games, liars, selfish
Developed: great communicators, weird in a cute way, very intelligent and talkactive, social

Cancer moon
Undeveloped: manipulative, huffy, overprotective, possessive, jealous
Developed: caring, helpful, lovable, friendly, shy, but kind, a good friend, supportive

Leo moon
Undeveloped: egoistic, bossy, can be bitchy and rude, loud, tells everyone everything, can’t take critics
Developed: loving, radiates positivity, optimistic, adventurous, great actor and performer, knows how to handle people

Virgo moon
Undeveloped: pessimistic, too hard on themselves, but blames others for their own mistakes, critical, skeptic, boring
Developed: sweethearts, perfect organisators, handles mental health well, friendly

Libra moon
Undeveloped: superficial, indecesive, unsure about who they really are, nervous, manipulative, uses people for own good
Developed: a great friend and advisor, happy and optimistic, open, loves to talk, knows what they have and are happy with it

Scorpio moon
Undeveloped: grudge-holding, possessive and dark, often plays the victim, huffish, loners, sometimes even depressed
Developed: shy, but helpful and truly loves the ones that love them, knows how to be at peace, loves themselves and all their edges, friendly

Sagittarius moon
Undeveloped: fast-paced/hectical, too many thoughts they can’t put into words, can be clingy, do what they want, too loud
Developed: funniest people ever, adventurous, free, peaceful, optimistic, know their worth, can be super serious and deep

Capricorn moon
Undeveloped: flinty, cold-hearted, seems like they don’t have emotions, too hard on themselves, bossy
Developed: have goals that they aspire to reach, supportive, persuasive power, can inspire others

Aquarius moon
Undeveloped: rebellious, can’t find their place in the world, acts cold, uninterested, bored, hard to reach, delusive
Developed: almost a genius, show hidden talents, fun to be around, super practical and great worker

Pisces moon
Undeveloped: doesn’t care about anything, unrealistic life perceptions/ideas, lost their heads, moody, manipulating
Developed: kind hearts, want to help change the world, great with kids, emotional support, creative

The world was expecting Reputation to be a celebrity self-pity party, after her September single “Look What You Made Me Do,” airing her grievances about getting mistreated by other famous people. Even if you think her complaints were totally justified, they felt like a dreary waste of her creative time, and many fans were dreading the idea of a whole album’s worth. But sorry, world – that was just one of her Swiftian fake-out moves, because there’s nothing else like that song on Reputation. (Whew.) Instead, she’s playing for bigger emotional stakes – this is an album full of one-on-one adult love songs. That’s a daring swerve from a songwriter who’s scored so many brilliant hits about pursuing the next romantic high. Taylor might love the players, but nowhere near as much as she loves the game.
—  Rolling Stone, on Taylor Swift’s reputation (2017)
little things that can help you if you have bpd

i’ve been seeing a lot of topics like “how to deal with someone who has bpd” and it always bothers me, because there is basically no topics about how to deal if YOU have bpd. that’s why i’m making this post, in my opinion as someone who has bpd. feel free to leave other tips and comment!

  • buy a notepad and write about your emotions. in DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), used a lot to help people with BPD, they tend to help others to regulate their emotions, basing on some principles, like:
  1. identify and classify emotions; usually, people with BPD suffered/suffer from emotional abuse and it makes harder for us to have a knowledge about our feelings, since we never had someone to help us in this aspect. if you have hard times dealing with your emotions, you can create a special organization on your notepad, basing on: what just happened that could be a possibly trigger to your feeling? (EVEN IF IT’S SOMETHING MINOR, for example, if your friend replied to you in a different way, if you saw an image that made you feel uncomfortable); what are your physical symptoms about it? (for example, if you feel butterflies in your stomach, you are possibly anxious); what does this feeling make you want to do? (for example, if you feel like you want to hit something, you are possibly experiencing anger). and, also, try to identify your primary and secondary emotions, for example, if a friend forgets about an event that you would go together, first you may feel anger, but this anger can be followed by frustation or sadness (secondary emotions).
  2. how to “change” your emotions; after writing about your emotions and trying to learn about them, you can add a subject in your notepad about “WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE THIS FEELING”. your first thoughts may be pessimists, specially because borderlines are VERY impulsives, like “i should probably self-harm” or even “i should probably kill myself”, due to the intensity of bpd emotions, but right now, you have to think with your rationality. for example, if your friend is delaying to reply, you can think about the possibilities that are causing this problem: if they are busy, if they are having a hard time or if they just don’t want to talk right now. after thinking about the situation as a whole, you’ll ask yourself “okay, but what will i do?” and that’s why i think it’s important to create a list about what makes you happy and what distracts you, so everytime you have a hard situation to deal with, you can check on your list. “oh, i’m having x problem, but in my list it says that painting makes me happy, so what about painting something i saw today?”. if you don’t have anything that you like about, there is an app called Calm Harm, that can help you in self-harm situations!
  3. increase and improve positive emotional events; i know that it’s difficult for us to focus on positive moments, but once you are feeling down, please try to write about what happened in your day that was a good thing. and when i say it, i don’t mean a BIG thing, it can be something like seeing a flower in your garden. write about your sensations when your experienced this moment and think about the possibility of living this moment more than once. for example, if i saw a flower and it made me happy, can i try to plant one, so i’ll see it more often?
  4. apply pressure tolerance techniques; by distraction, self-care, improving the moment and considering pros and cons.

SO, in your notepad, have a space to: first, identify and classify your emotions; second, a space to write about how to change your emotions; third, a space to write about positive emotional events and fourth, write about what pressure tolerance techniqures you can apply to your life. 

  • practice saying no and saying what you need to the people around you; sometimes people with BPD tend to think that we are a burden to friends and family, and sometimes it’s not true. due to it, we often don’t tell what we really want. so, if you could, please, practice saying NO and what you REALLY need and want to people around you, even if it’s minor things. for example, if someone asks you to lunch with them, but you can’t/don’t want to, don’t let your abandonment fear decides what it’s the best for you, just say no, but not in the intention to hurt the other person. “i’m sorry, i really like you, but i can’t or don’t want to, since i have to do x thing/feeling x thing, but i really like you!”. when you say no, you can have a better idea about what you like and what you don’t, so you can start to let people know about it. for example, “hey! yesterday i said no when you invited me for lunch, so i realized i don’t really like going to public places, what about having lunch in my house next time?”
  • practice breathing techniques; intense emotions can lead us to panic situations or really bad physical symptoms. in stressing moments, we hold the air, increasing the level of carbon dioxide in our system, so the organism thinks we need more oxygen and make us breathe faster. the imbalance increases our heart beats, our blood pressure and the release of hormones such as adrenaline. i recommend ASMR videos to relax and you can breathe slowly, imagining a circle opening and closing, like the gif:

the post is getting long, so i’ll finish here! i’ll probably post a part two if you guys like! please leave a comment if it was helpful and i’m sorry if my grammar wasn’t very correct, english is not my native language.

remember that everything here is theoritical and it’s hard to apply these tips in your life, things will not suddenly change. but i believe in you and things take time, so don’t give up on getting better.

The Signs When They Like Someone

NOTE: I cannot stress enough how important it is to take into account BOTH your Venus and sun, because they nature of those signs will influence whether or not you’re obvious in your flirting habits or not, so check them both 

Aries: When an Aries likes you, they’ll be quite bold about it, they’ll flirt openly but in a way that will still make you wonder whether they’re like that with everybody, or just you. Normally they’ll excuses for physical contact, even if it’s so much as touching your arm when you say something. They’ll try to debate with you, to see what you’re really like and will be quite impressed if you win. 

Taurus: When a Taurus likes you, you’ll it a lot in the eyes and the way they look at you. They’ll venture more out of their shell when they’re near you and will pay attention to your reactions to different things, they’ll try to make you laugh and will share their food with you, they’ll tell you about their aspirations and their goals. If you flirt with other people, don’t be surprised if Taurus gives that person a death stare. 

Gemini: When a Gemini likes you, they’ll really make an effort to form a mental connection with you. They’ll tell you about their ever growing ideas and even ask for your opinion on them. They’ll try to pull you out of your comfort zone to see what you’re like when you’re out of your depth. Pay attention to the topics they talk about, when with someone they like, they’ll try to find a common interest or common ground for you’s to build a conversation on and encourage bonding. 

Cancer: When a Cancer likes you, it really shows in their mannerisms. They’ll be incredibly polite and sweet without fault. They might seem shy and somewhat awkward when you’re talking to them, but only because they really don’t want to mess up, they don’t want anything to be miscommunicated between the two of you. Despite their soft demeanour, they will look out for you and protect you, whether you see it or not.

Leo: When a Leo likes you, they tend to be more charming than usual, they’ll compliment you on things you never even noticed about yourself, because these signs see all the beautiful things about others. Despite their seemingly unbreakable pride, your opinion on their ideas and such will impact them greatly and they’ll even try to do something to impress you alone rather than a group of people. 

Virgo: When a Virgo likes you, you’ll see it in the type of questions they ask you. They won’t just ask you what you like, they’ll ask why you like it. They like to thoroughly know the person who’s messing with their formerly organised emotions which can normally lead to confusion, people often think that they just want to be close friends. They may appear more nervous around you and will be very careful with the words they choose. 

Libra: When a Libra likes you, they’ll appear to admire you quite a lot, they like to give credit where it’s due and won’t be afraid to tell you when you’re looking good or even just good at something. Despite the fact that they’re the sign of fairness and justice, they’ll tend to put you on a pedestal. They’ll have an almost dreamy look in their eyes when looking at you and will listen intently to what you have to say. 

Scorpio: When a Scorpio likes you, it can be hard to tell because they’re very good at keeping it under wraps. Generally, they’ll listen to you when you speak - like really listen. They’ll be the type to make incredibly dirty jokes and discreetly aim them at you, making you wonder if they’re serious or not. They’ll look at your lips quite a lot. If someone else tries flirting with you or vice versa, Scorpio can be blunt with that person and like Taurus, will give the death stare. 

Sagittarius: When a Sagittarius likes you, they’ll pick your brain, they’ll want to know about your ideas and your own morale. They’ll share their own philosophies (depending on how close you are to them). They’ll encourage you to seize the day and even use this as an excuse to take you on a date that’s “not a date”. Although they’ll compliment you, they’ll have no problem making fun of you in a friendly way either, probably to get a reaction. 

Capricorn: When a Capricorn likes you, you may notice that they’ll get nervous around you or quieter. They don’t want to mess up or embarrass themselves so they try to reduce flirty interactions but the closer you are to them, the more flirty jokes you’ll get from them. They’ll be very polite and gentle at first but will then make slightly dirty jokes around you and hope you know they’re directed at you. They’ll ask you questions even if they’re not interested in the topic, just to keep talking to you. 

Aquarius: When an Aquarius likes you, they’ll try to challenge almost everything about you, they don’t fall for people much but when they do, they want to know what the other person is made of. They’ll be incredibly encouraging and motivating, even for the smallest things. They’ll pay attention to your little quirks and let you know how much they like them. They’ll really try to make you think. 

 Pisces: When a Pisces likes you, they’ll go out of their way to “conveniently bump into you”. They’ll make a lot of eye contact and communicate mostly through that. They’ll make almost and excuse to make physical contact. They’ll smirk at you from a distance but when face to face, won’t be as nonchalant. They may seem zoned out a lot of the time. They’ll ask you what’s wrong when they know and will guide you as best they can without coming across as patronising.

3

SevenMC4 - It’s not just you.

Translation checked by @petite-neko (Thank you!)

I’m saying it again. My mc4 is very serious character. And very honest about what she want or do. She just don’t talk about things when it’s necessary and didn’t well express her emotions because some reasons I don’t draw yet.

On the other hand, Saeyoung give me this impression that he have some ideal what gentlemen look like and old-fashioned idea about women’s desire.

So this is result of those two combined idea.


※ Do not repost it on Instagram or Facebook.

Writing: The Villain

In most stories, there is a tangible villain that works at every opportunity to stop your hero from reaching their goal. They are oftentimes the epitome of evil and hatred, depending on how extremely their villainy runs. In many ways, they are almost as important as the main character, so here are some tips on developing them well.

  • Villains should be handled with the same deep thought as heroes.
    • Just because they’re the villain doesn’t mean they aren’t a very major character, and complex characters are always more favorable than simple, boring characters. Develop their appearance and personality in detail. Formulate a backstory. Understand the motivations behind what they do, and let their actions reflect their internal desires.
  • Find ways to make your villain stand out from other villains.
    • Most villains are maniacal. They are almost all willing to do terrible things in order to get what they want. A lot of villains are related to their character in some way, and sometimes this relationship is revealed in a plot twist. These are all well and good, but trying to make these ideas seem fresh and interesting is difficult nowadays. Play with your ideas and tweak these tropes, or maybe even disregard them all together. Do what you can to make your villain not sound like another Voldemort or Darth Vader. (Reading your work and/or having others read your work is a good way to see if your villain (and other characters, too) are interesting and unique enough.)
  • Consider that your villain is (probably) still human.
    • Even if they aren’t human in the technical sense, they probably still have human emotions. Give your character depth by exploring their sense of morality and where they came from. Why do they think what they’re doing is acceptable. Do they think it’s acceptable? What happened that lead them up to this point of villainy?
  • Explore your villain’s relationship with the other characters.
    • Are they closely connected with your hero and the hero’s friends? Are they in no way related? What did the good characters do to get on the villain’s bad side? How deep does your villain’s anger or hatred for your hero run? Do they hate them at all, or are they doing what they’re doing for another reason? Are the things that your villain is doing a direct result of the hero’s actions, or was there another cause?
  • Decide what the end result of the villain’s actions will be.
    • You have one of two very basic routes this can take: your villain can either defeat or be defeated by the hero. The hero also has one of two routes (if they defeat the villain): they can defeat them by force and kill/imprison/etc. them, or they can “convert” them to the good side. How will this decision affect your villain? How will it affect the overall story? How will it affect the other characters? What will the long-term effects be?
  • Their motivations must be believable.
    • Too often the villain comes off as cheesy or unsatisfying because there doesn’t seem to be a good reason for them to be acting against the main character. Their actions and motivations should be just as definitive and interesting as any other character’s. Try to avoid falling into the trap of “sworn revenge” for no good reason–or, even worse, copping out by saying the villain is “just crazy”.

I’ve had many young people reach out to me for help because their parents dismiss their depression, anxiety, eating disorder or any other form of mental illness as a “teenage phase”. These teens are literally suffering and them asking for help from their parents to see a psychologist or any other mental health professional is the scariest and bravest thing they can do. Some have considered or even tired self-harm, drugs and suicide as a way of coping with their emotions. You as a parent have no idea the harm you are doing to your child by dismissing or minimizing what they are going through. It sickens me the taboo behind being mentally sick… when are we going to stop the stigma? When will it be okay to talk about feelings?

If your child is asking for help, please listen. It might be a temporary situation that is causing some stress or it can be a more drastic. In the end it’s your child’s well being.

I’m...

DOMINANT FUNCTION:

Fe: Empathetic and warm-hearted. Other people are one of the most important things to me and I find it hard not to care about them or to want to keep them happy. I’m a lover of people

Fi: Emotional and opinionated. I have strong feelings about who/what I value and what is truly right, so I let my personal values influence myself more than anything else. I’m an idealist

Te: Driven and responsible. If I want to get something done, I’ll quickly find the most efficient way to do it. I’m a go-getter

Ti: Rational and independent. I love making logical sense of what I don’t know and figuring out how things work to solve problems or just for the hell of it. I’m an analytical thinker

Ne: Very stimulated by ideas and concepts. My mind is always energised by interesting thoughts and connections between them. I’m a visionary

Ni: Detached from the moment by itself and perceptive of the bigger picture. My 5 senses only take me so far, I’m mostly concerned with intangible possibilities and hidden meanings behind things. I’m a contemplator

Se: Spontaneous and highly in tune with my surroundings and happenings in them, which I’m almost always confident in experiencing and interacting with. I’m a realist

Si: Quite in touch with information I’ve gained in the past. My memory is very strong and I’m constantly comparing what I experience in the present to things I’ve experienced in the past. I’m a traditionalist

who…

AUXILIARY FUNCTION:

Fe: Highly values peace and harmony.

Fi: Is very in touch with their emotions and their sense of right and wrong.

Te: Takes charge to organise their environment and accomplish objectives in it.

Ti: Thinks logically and analyses information as objectively as possible.

Ne: Has an active imagination when it comes unrealistic/abstract ideas and possibilities of what could be.

Ni: Has clear plans and goals for the future along with a good idea of how to realise them.

Se: Sees things as they are and has no problems with improvisation or immersing themselves in the moment.

Si: Lets past experiences guide them and influence how they see the world.

When needed, I can…

TERTIARY FUNCTION:

Fe: Be gregarious and charming to get others to like me or to keep a social situation running smoothly,

Fi: Remind myself of my emotions and ideals of right and wrong,

Te: Do whatever it takes to complete a task or solve a problem,

Ti: Step away from emotions and make sense of things rationally,

Ne: Consider multiple possibilities and play with novel ideas,

Ni: See beyond my senses and pay attention to the intangible and to what could become of something in the future,

Se: Indulge in sensory experiences and be open to spontaneity,

Si: Thoroughly compare an experience or an idea to one that’s in my memories,

but many of my faults come from…

INFERIOR FUNCTION:

Fe: Not being very empathetic or sociable and not fully understanding how to properly act in some social situations.

Fi: Being too objective and not being able to foresee what feelings certain things can provoke in myself and others.

Te: Being reluctant to ignore my personal values and consider objective measurements of value and achievement.

Ti: Placing too much value on my own and other peoples’ feelings and not enough on objectivity and rationality.

Ne: Not being very open to novelty or uncertainty.

Ni: Failing to plan for the future or to perceive what my senses can’t.

Se: Being uncomfortable with living in the moment or interacting with my physical environment.

Si: Being bored by constant routine and predictability.

Humans and Music

So after a talk with @ii-thiscat-ii we realized how weird music could be to a species that doesn’t have music. Think of it, what is music, it’s sound organized in specific patterns that evokes emotions in us. Our brains are wired to recognize music. Just tap on the table with our fingers and if we do it regularly enough most people can recognize it as a tune.

But imagine how it would be for a species that have no concept of music. Like they could probably wrap their heads around the idea that we find certain sounds more appealing than others, and that we have tools specifically made to create these appealing sounds.

But imagine them trying to make sense of a movie soundtrack. Like, why is there this sound? There’s no sound like that in an abandoned house? What do you mean it adds atmosphere? Is that what you hear when you go into a place like that?

What about an alien attending an event where they sing the national anthem. Suddenly every human is standing up, and they’re all acting serious, and suddenly they all start making the same sounds, all at once, in unison. They’re also saying the same words, but they’re not saying it the same way they say it when they speak. The words are recognizable, but the pitch and tone are completely different. What’s going on!?

We also have different types of music for different occasions. We have cheery music, dark music, sad music, and so many different varieties of each. The aliens have no idea how we figure this out, or how we can have “cheery” music with accompanying words that are sad.

What if because they didn’t evolve to use music, other species of aliens can’t even really hear the components of music. Like, they can tell that two pieces of music sound different, they can’t really hear things like beat, tune or melody. Or at least they don’t recognize such thing as musical. Like, a human is tapping out a tune on a tabletop and the alien at the table thinks they are trying to communicate through code or something. They know there is a pattern to the tapping but can’t figure it out. It probably blows a few minds that we have our own languages that exist specifically to record these strange sounds humans like to make.

What if species that have dances can’t understand why humans need these strange sounds in order to dance and can’t really see the connection between music and dance that humans seem to have.

What if a crew of a ship suddenly hear the strangest sounds. None of them recognize the sound, but its coming from the engine room so that can’t possibly be good. They burst into the engine room expecting the worst, only to find the human crew members having a jam session.

What if aliens can understand that we would make specific tools to make specific sounds, but a bewildered at the sheer variety of means we will use to generate it. From electronic speakers, to fine instruments, to an upturned pot and a half-empty bottle, to our own voice and bodies.

What if the only thing that blows them away is the fact that one human can start up a tune and the other humans can pick it up and add to it and still create something more or less harmonious.

Mercury in Fire signs
People with their Mercury in a Fire sign (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius) are bold thinkers and don’t necessarily have a filter. These people usually say the first thing that’s on their mind because they know they’re staying true to themselves. They enjoy having a crowd listening to them because they are loud and have a lot to say. They often make excellent story tellers because they tend to exaggerate and add excitement and passion. The Fire sign Mercuries are hands-on learners, they do best when they’re engaging all of themselves (mind, body and all) in a lesson.

Mercury in Earth signs
People with their Mercury in an Earth sign (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn) are grounded and structured thinkers. These people are the ones who have a filter, but will lay down the facts with you and give you a reality check. Often times, Earth sign Mercuries have a serious, slightly deeper voice than usual. They speak in a “professional tone” that demands the respect of others. They are able to connect the dots easily and can break down information and deliver it in a confident, simple way. The way their mind processes things is incredible because of how “matter of fact” they are; they need the facts.

Mercury in Air signs
People with their Mercury in an Air sign (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius) are the creative thinkers and the ones who usually have the best social skills. They don’t necessarily think for just themselves, but they think of others as well. They seem to draw a lot of people into their conversations and it’s no wonder because everyone wants to hear what they have to say. However, the Air sign Mercuries can get too caught up in the opinion of others and may struggle voicing their own. They are capable of coming up with hundreds of ideas and thoughts on the spot.

Mercury in Water signs
People with their Mercury in a Water sign (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces) are the perceptive thinkers and they are prone to getting lost deep, deep in their thoughts. These people don’t think, they feel and with this, they are able of understanding and observing the human body and life for what it truly is. In a way, they are wise. Their emotions have a direct link to their thoughts and they won’t do or say things unless it feels right. The Water sign Mercuries and their mind is far beyond our reach.

My Headcanons on the Dads and Sexuality

Robert: Bisexual, but possibly repulsed by sex. 

  • While he has shown attraction to men (The MC/Joseph,) and women (His deceased wife,) the fact that having sex with him at any point of his route locks you into his bad end, gives me the vibes that sex for him isn’t as pleasurable as it may have once been.

Damien: Asexual.

  • He’s one of the few dads that will not have a sex scene with your MC. While it may be because, at the time, he’s not 100% open to you about him being transgender and fears how you would react (It’s implied by his son, Lucien, that people aren’t exactly the nicest to his dad,) I like to think it’s a case of Damien simply not caring much for sex.

Craig: Gay. Especially for the MC.

  • Yes, Craig was married to “Smashley” for a significant portion of his life, but it’s very possible to still be gay while having past romantic relations with women. The fact that River is so much younger than the Twins also gives an idea that him and Ashley may not have had much of a sex life, further cementing the idea that, while he cared a lot for Ashley, he may not have felt that way specifically for her.

    Oh yeah, and the whole way he’s extremely friendly to the MC, even before the first date, sorta gives me the idea that Craig has a far stronger view on the MC than just “bros.” You can’t tell me you haven’t seen an old college roomie/friend in presumably years (At least one year, since the MC had no idea about Craig and Ashley’s divorce,) but can still immediately recognize them while you’re on a jog. From a distance, no less, considering he was calling out for your attention.

Joseph: Dads.

  • You know why.

Mat: Bisexual, or whatever sexual orientation Vernon Shaw is.

  • Mat had a wife in the past, before her untimely demise. And of course, he shows clear interest in the MC. I can see him being Bi, Pan, or any sort of combo of sexuality that doesn’t just limit on one gender specifically.

    Or, well, since Mat is supposed to be Vernon’s self-insert, his sexuality is whatever sexuality Vernon has. I don’t know, I really don’t keep up with the Grumps.

Hugo: Gay.

  • The only dad to mention he has an ex-husband, over an ex-wife.

Brian: 

  • Brian is one of two dads who we have no idea what their past spouse was like (The other being Damien.) So it’s hard to gauge with that fact. I mean? Maybe he’s Demisexual? Only experiences sexual attraction to people he develops strong emotions for. I could see this, considering the fact he’s one of three dads where sex isn’t an option (Damien and Robert are the others, tho Robert you can still have sex, it’s just real fuckin’ bad to do that.)
“Will I be the lead?” || Finn Wolfhard

Request: none

Characters: Finn Wolfhard x reader, Wyatt, Josh, Jake

Tense: 3rd person

Summary: Finn is back home and has some time to spend with his friends. Talking on rooftops, skating on the streets and sleepovers in the gardens.

A/N: In terms of this storyline, Finn and Wyatt have known each other for a while and all characters became a friendship group

Finn was finally back home after filming for over a year; he hadn’t seen his friends in that space of time until now. He got into his house to find Josh sat at the dining table eating leftover pizza from the Wolfhard’s fridge. He turned and smiled, mouth full, and waved as he got up quickly. He engulfed Finn into a hug and as he did, Finn noticed Wyatt sat with Jake. The two came and joined the hug, creating a large group hug. Finn stood looking around slightly.

“(Y/N) will be round later,” Wyatt said. “She has some things to do,” Finn nodded, somewhat embarrassed that Wyatt knew exactly who he was looking for.

The guys all sat around and talked for ages, mostly about nothing in particular, just general nonsense. They were all sat outside in front of Finn’s house on the front porch: Jake and Wyatt sitting in a swing seat, whilst Finn and Josh sat on chairs opposite.

“Yeah, but hypothetically speaking, you can’t just take it out of its shell, like it would kill it,” Wyatt spoke seriously, even though the subject they were discussing was completely random. The others nodded in agreement, humming like the topic was an actual debate of some sort.

Finn stroked his chin. “Yes but if it was then covered in, let’s say, the armour then it would be protected even more and it wouldn’t die, because it would replace the shell,” Josh clicked his fingers and nodded vigorously.

“No the bones of it are attached to it, it would destroy it then bleed to death,” Wyatt elaborated. “Armour would then make it worse and it would already be dead,” he said.

“If it’s attached,” Josh said. “Then why can they retract into their shells?”

“For this particular topic,” Finn said, sounding like he was from a posh and upper class area. “I’m going to say it wouldn’t kill it because this is complete fantasy, not reality,” everyone laughed.

“Fine,” Wyatt rolled his eyes jokingly. “But it’s able to retract because it’s the limbs of it, it has space in its shell to just go into itself.”

They were still sat on the front porch, when they noticed (Y/N) skate over. She stopped, picked up her board and then made her way up to the guys. Finn’s face instantly lit up, the two ran to each other, instantly hugging. The other guys shared glances with one another and then with Finn’s brother who was stood inside the house, but was definitely watching.  

“You got taller,” she laughed as she now had to look up at him slightly. “I’m pissed,” he shrugged, laughing along with her. He couldn’t help but think why she had her beanie covering the entirety of her head, showing no hair apart from one tiny strand which he could’ve sworn was an odd colour.

“I haven’t skated in a while,” he said, referring to her board. “Do you mind if we do?” he asked, everyone else was up for it.

                                                          ***

“Your balance is better than it was,” she laughed. “You’re actually good now,” he looked at her and smiled.

“Learnt from the master,” he pointed in front of him towards Josh. “Which would be him,” She flicked Finn’s forehead and he pretended to be injured.

“Such a baby,” she rolled her eyes and skated away from him, causing him to get back on his board and follow her jokingly. He had one arm out in front and the other on his chest.

“Breaking my heart,” he said which made everyone laugh. They all started to skate towards (Y/N)’s house, which was where Finn’s parents now were.

Finn’s parents were close with (Y/N)’s, which was why Finn and her were as close as they were. They all stumbled into the house, heading straight for her room. Josh threw himself on her bed, Jake following suit, Wyatt took a beanbag chair whilst Finn took her desk chair. She sat on the floor, like she usually would whenever they were altogether as a group.

“The sunset is so nice,” (Y/N) said, looking out at the sky through the window. Everyone hummed in agreement.

“Remember when Wyatt almost fell off the roof?” Jake spoke up, barely able to get his words out through laughter. “Cracked me up so much.”

“Those times we’d sit on the roof and just make fake answers to actual questions,” She said, also barely audible through laughter. “I miss those times.”

“Let’s do it now, then,” Finn suggested, spinning around on the chair. Nobody had taken notice that he’d been doing it as soon as he sat down, more than likely the 10th time he’d spun around. “Why reminisce about doing it when we could just do it now?” He stood up, stumbling slightly with dizziness. He held out his arms and stayed still, “I’m all good.”

She opened the windows and one by one, they all crawled out the window to sit on the roof. All were laughing, talking about anything that came to mind, yet again nonsense. Finn’s eyes kept diverting to her unintentionally, which Josh had picked up on.

“Okay, okay,” she laughed. “But I know what I know,” she shook her head, stomach aching from laughing.

“Which is nothing?” Josh asked, causing her to reach over Finn and hit his leg. “You kneeded permission to do that,” you looked at him emotionless, whilst Finn sat laughing. Finn was finding anything and everything funny that night on the rooftop.

“I’ve done legitimate research,” Jake said, speaking with a serious tone. “There are a couple of things you don’t understand- also the world is flat,” he interrupted himself with his statement. Josh squealed a trailed ‘what?’ as Finn just stared from Jake to her and then back to Jake.

“And the moon landing was fake,” Wyatt pointed out. She raised her eyebrows in amusement.

Josh piped up, “Dude, I’m just glad that people are, like, being straight up with me for once, because I’ve never heard any of this shit,” everyone laughed.She patted his back in a joking comfort. 

“I’m gonna go get a drink, anyone want anything?” She said, everybody shook their head, carrying on with their discussion, as she climbed back into the house through the window, heading downstairs. She went to the fridge and pulled out a Coke can. She took off her beanie, the hat that had been covering the entirety of her hair, and she placed the hat neatly on the dining table. She made her way back upstairs and as she walked into the room, Josh turned round from the roof. Widened eyes, he turned back round to the others. She climbed through and joined them in the place where she was originally sat.

“Oh, wow, you’re hair, it matches the sky,” Finn smiles, chuckling at his own statement, speaking softly. The sky at that very moment was a pink colour, something that happened at sunset. “I like it, it suits you.” All she could do is smile back, stroking her hair in flattery. Finn then kept making eye contact with each of the other guys, almost questioning if they knew she’d dyed her hair whilst he was away. It wasn’t a big deal to him but it had surprised him.

The group had eventually come down from the roof and were now in her back garden, putting up a tent. Finn and (Y/N) were planning to camp out in her garden for the night, after much begging to their parents. The guys had offered to help, knowing full well that the two of them putting it up together would take them until morning.

“No you need to give me that pole,” Wyatt shouted over to Josh who was stood opposite. “No, the other one,” Josh kept purposely picking up the wrong one, just to frustrate him. “Yes, thank you,” he caught the pole and attached it.

“It’s feeding time,” Jake said eagerly, referring to the part of pushing the poles through the material, which would keep the tent up and in place.

“I’ve already eaten,” Josh said seriously, everyone stopping and turning to him, hoping to see some evident look on his face that he was joking. They all found nothing. “I’m joking,” he reassured everyone.

Soon enough, the tent was up and secure. They’d all helped with sorting out the inside as well. The other guys had left after giving their goodbyes to the two friends and their families, who were sat inside. Finn and (Y/N) went inside to grab food, and then came back out to go into the tent.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” she said, breaking the silence. “About a year, you look good, though.”

“So do you,” the two laughed at their conversation. “We sound like 35 year olds,” she nodded as she laughed.

“Yeah who lost touch after a break up and just reunited.”

“Oddly specific, but pretty movie-like,” Finn took a bite out of the chocolate bar in his hand.

“I love movies,” she said. “I wanna make some one day.”

“Will I be the lead?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“Obviously, no one else would even need to audition, it’d be yours automatically,” she furrowed her eyebrows in a pretend ‘duh’ tone.

“What kind of film would it be?” He loved hearing her ideas for films or shows, he always admired her creativity which is why he was so interested in watching other directors do their jobs. It wasn’t always for his benefit, but for hers.

“I’m thinking an indie road trip,” She said, putting her arms out in front of her, acting as if there were a screen there as she paced out the words. “Pastel colouring, emotive music-“ She listed, tapping her fingers as she counted.

“Maybe some love?” he wiggled his eyebrows causing her to laugh.

She shook her head. “All platonic.”

“I love you,” Finn laughed. She smiled. “Always have this thing about you, you have such a creative mind, and I love it. This is why we’re friends,” He kept a constant eye contact, almost wanting her to believe he was telling the truth. “Talking about creativity, why’d you dye your hair?”

“I’ve always wanted to,” she explained, becoming self-aware. “I don’t really know, rebellious, I guess,” she shrugged. “I missed you,” she changed the subject.

“I missed you too,” his smile faded to him biting the inside of his lip. “But all you have to do is watch me in shit and you’ll be okay,” he tried making her feel better.

“I literally cried at stranger things two, dude,” she laughed, almost immediately regretting saying it, but her mouth was speaking before her mind could process the words needed. “It just reminded me of you coming back, you know? Emphasises how much you miss someone. This place isn’t the same without you.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised. He had thought that she would’ve been off doing things with new people or having more fun lately. “How so?” He was intrigued.

“People are so boring, they never want to do things like what we do. They don’t get me the way that you do, nobody has ever gotten me like you do.” Finn smiled.

“You’re a pretty hard person to understand,” he joked. “That’s why we get along so well.”

“How long are you here for?” she asked, lying on top of her sleeping bag. Finn copied, lying on his in the opposite direction. The two were top and tailing, Finn occasionally putting his foot on her face which caused her to tickle the underneath to get him to move it.

“I’ve got some interviews,” he explained, staring at the top of the tent. “So maybe two days?” he could hear her sigh. He instantly changed the subject as he noticed the raindrops on the tent material. “I remember you tried to convince everyone in our class that raindrops were God’s tears,” They both laughed. He sat up, eyes fixated on the droplet, and flicked the tent which caused the raindrop to fall.

“You’re so interested in the strangest of things,” she said before she was quickly eager to flick an oddly shaped droplet. The two spent the next few minutes focused on the raindrops, neither speaking but only giggling at their actions.

They both then sat back down, facing each other. “We’re such kids,” she shook her head, laughing to herself.

“Who says that’s a bad thing?” Finn questioned rhetorically. “I mean, it’s not like we’re 20 year olds, we’re kids. Can’t grow up too fast,” she was in awe of his mind-set. A part of her couldn’t wait to grow up and be independent, but being around Finn always influenced her to stay grounded. “So have you met anyone?” he jokingly asked, but was also somewhat serious.

“You know me, Finn,” she shrugged, speaking with a posh accent, “I don’t meet people. What about you?”

“Oh no no,” he copied her with the posh accent, “I try to stay focused on my career and my school career,” he chuckled, an arrogant and posh tone. “I don’t see the point because I have my time to find someone, I am just a kid so,” she tried not to laugh.

“Why, that’s because you feel whole, Sir,” she said, again a seriousness hidden within the words.

“I feel whole?” he asked, still keeping the joke going. She nodded.

“Yes, like you have something to fill up the gaping hole of emptiness,” Both stopped laughing and Finn had now caught on that she was being serious.

“And you have this gaping hole?” He asked her, concern evident in his voice and no accent this time, feeling slightly sad that his friend was feeling this way.

She didn’t speak for a few seconds, her mind functioning to find the right thing to say. “Sometimes,” she shrugged. “I mean, I have my insecurities and times where I feel like I need someone to make me feel real, which is crazy because I’m not even that old,” she laughed slightly, humourless but filled with embarrassment. Hearing herself say it she thought it sounded stupid.

“Well, you’re amazing and you don’t need anyone for you to know that,” he smiled, attempting to give comfort and reassurance. “Apart from me of course,” she smiled back this time. “And if you’re gonna be with anyone it’s obviously going to be with me,” he said, not really thinking.

“Finn don’t,” she said quietly.

“What?” he asked, worried.

“Just,” she sighed, “Don’t.”

“Did I say something wrong?” she shook her head. “I did, didn’t I?” She shook her head again. “You’ve gone all quiet, I obviously have,” he became frustrated both at her lack of talking and at himself for not knowing what he’d done.

“Now we really do sound like 35 year old exes,” she muttered, causing Finn to laugh. “I’m sorry, I just had a bit of a moment,” she shook herself and Finn copied, almost mimicking her in a comforting way.

“It’s okay,” he said, giving a slight side smile. “I understand.”

Finn and (Y/N)’s mums had come out to check on the two when they overheard parts of their conversations, they decided to walk back in, sharing a hand to the chest and mouthing the word ‘aww’. They were in the kitchen, (Y/N)’s mum making some tea whilst Finn’s sat at the kitchen counter.

“It’s nice to see them together again,” Finn’s mum spoke up. “He was talking non-stop about her and how he wanted time with everyone,” (Y/N)’s mum rested against the counter by the kettle opposite.

“I couldn’t agree more,” she smiled. “She’s been down lately,” she explained, sighing slightly. “School is becoming some sort of chore, she’s really not enjoying herself here at all. I don’t know how to help, it’s really difficult.”

Finn’s mum was always close to (Y/N)’s and with any situation, she was eager to help out. She was always there for advice and to take over if it ever got too much. She walked round and hugged her. “You know you can always talk to me.”

                                                         ***

“Yeah but if the chicken was to run away, then what would you do?” She asked Finn, raising her eyebrows as she threw the small bouncy ball towards him. He caught it, threw it between his hands a couple of times as he thought. He looked upwards, something he did when he was concentrating and was deep in thought. He stopped, looked to her and pointed with the ball still in hand.

“Um, I,” He stopped, shaking his head and retreating from what he was about to say. He copied his actions as before: looking up and throwing the ball between his hands. He sighed. “You make this too difficult, (Y/N).” they both laughed. Finn threw the ball back to her, she caught it after 4 tries of catching as she unintentionally bounced it to try and keep it in her hand. Finn began to laugh hysterically, falling on his back and clapping. She threw the ball at him.

“Shut up,” she whined. “Stop laughing at me,” he started to roll around, still laughing and unable to stop. He then sat up, holding his stomach and gradually stopping from laughing.

“You make me laugh so much,” he said, smiling and holding the ball.

“What by me embarrassing myself?” She pretended to be offended. “That’s just hurtful.”

“No,” he said plainly. He was running over the right words in his head. “Just- Just you being you,” he put the ball down. She picked up a packet of twizzlers, pulled one out and began to eat it. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met and will ever meet, no doubt about it. I talk about you all the time, man,” She choked on the sweet, coughing then swallowing it again.

“Oh Jesus,” she said, hand on chest. “Sorry,” he waved her off then started to pat her back to make sure she was okay. “I just thought that you kinda forgot about me- well not forgot but like just didn’t really think about me.”

He widened his eyes and shook his head vigorously. He moved back to where he was sat, opposite you. He had his legs up, his hands intertwined with each other and rested them around his knees. “You’re always on my mind,” he laughed. “So much it’s come naturally to just think about you and for everyone on sets to groan if I even start to say your name,” She smiled, biting the inside of her mouth.

“That means a lot,” she said. “I think about you too.”

“Good otherwise this would be awkward,” he laughed, the two hugged. It was a much more sentimental hug, the type where you knew that you wouldn’t see someone for a while so you wanted to get the most feeling from it. It was quite a long hug, almost as if the two hadn’t realised they were still hugging and as if time itself was going slowly.

Tagged for imagines:

@ateliefloresdaprimavera

6 THINGS INFP'S WISH THEY COULD TELL YOU ABOUT THEMSELVES

Being an INFP personality type has a lot of upsides: we see the best in people, we’re thoughtful and creative, and as idealists, we see what could be instead of what is. But it has its downsides, too, not the least of which is that we’re often misunderstood. And often we’re either too polite or too self-conscious to tell you the truth about ourselves.


So here are a few things that I, an INFP, wish people knew about me. If any of these things don’t apply to the INFPs you know, or if you’re an INFP and disagree with these things, I apologize. I’m not trying to speak for all INFPs—we’re a diverse bunch, and I love that about us. But I think most of these apply to most INFPs, and I hope that you learn something from them:


1. We can become absorbed in our own world. But that doesn’t mean we think we’re better than others or more interesting. In fact, we have a deep respect for all humans, and are intensely curious about people. But because we’re introverts, it can be hard for us to get to know other people. Consequently, we’re curious about ourselves and we spend a lot of time studying ourselves. And the more we know, the more we want to know—and we end up losing ourselves in our inner world.


2. We want to know everything about you. Speaking of relationships, please talk to us about everything. We want to know all about you: your deepest secrets and hidden fears and what makes you tick. We don’t want to talk about the weather. We want to know how you slipped in a puddle when you were 10 years old and broke your knee, and ever since, you deliberately splash in puddles because you want to show that nothing can beat you. We want to know how you once got stuck inside a bookstore when it was raining and ended up finding a wonderful new author and making friends with the bookstore cat. We want to know that when it starts raining at night, you always panic for a few seconds because it sounds like footsteps outside.


3. We feel like we don’t fit in. INFPs are an odd mixture of curiosity, introversion, and quirkiness, so we often feel like we don’t fit in. Hence we either withdraw from the world completely and do our own thing or we try to change ourselves to fit in better. But the hermit will always have a part that wants to be accepted, and the people-pleaser will always have a rebellious streak. When we’re young, we INFPs may mask our true nature in an attempt to fit in. It may take us a long time to learn to act “normal.” Once we’ve learned that, it may take us even longer to realize that we don’t have to act normal. So bear with us as we find our place in the world.


4. Don’t make us question our sanity. My brother once pretended he couldn’t see a soccer field as we drove by it. Of course, he later told me he was joking, but here’s the thing about INFPs—we spend a lot of time seriously wondering if we have a mental illness. We can know we’re completely sane, have doctors tell us we’re completely sane, have family assure us we’re completely sane, but still, we just…wonder. Sometimes a part of our brain is pretty sure that all of life is a vivid hallucination and we’re severely schizophrenic. Other times we’re pretty sure that we don’t experience emotions the same way others do so we must be sociopathic. And for INFPs who really do have a mental illness, it’s worse. So please don’t joke about insanity with us. For us, it’s no laughing matter.


5. Our emotions can confuse us. Just because we know all about your emotions doesn’t mean we have the slightest idea what our feelings are. We know that emotions can be tricky, and when something bad happens—like a breakup or the death of a relative who has been ill for a long time—a person can feel so many things, including anger and helplessness but also relief (along with enormous guilt because of the relief). But if you ask us something like, “Do you feel sad about your dad dying?” there’s a very good chance we won’t be able to answer because we have no idea how we feel, or if we feel anything at all. I went through a period of depression after my father died, but while it was going on, I hadn’t the faintest clue that I was depressed. In fact, I thought I didn’t feel any grief at all. Only years later did I realize that I had been grieving, and even now I’m still not sure how I currently feel about my father’s death. I think I’m at a point of acceptance, but who knows? A year from now I might realize that I’m in denial. If we seem confusing to you, it’s nothing to how confusing we are to ourselves.


6. We have a dark side. A lot of people think that INFPs are bundles of sweetness and light, but that’s not always true. Like any other human being, we can be caring at times but we can also be harsh. We can be the nicest and most tender person you know, or we can be judgmental and downright cruel. That’s because we have bad days too. But you can bet that when we lash out at someone with harsh words, we feel guilty about it later.


In the end, being an INFP personality type is not “good” or “bad.” INFPs are complex, contradictory people who know the world can be a dark place—but we choose to see the light.

By Emily E. @ introvertdear.com

Masculine VS. Feminine

Requested (a very long time ago – sorry about that).

This has absolutely nothing to do with sex or gender. Masculinity and femininity are simply energies in astrology; masculinity is more or less extroversion and femininity is more or less introversion. Fire & air signs are masculine and water & earth are feminine, but your sun sign doesn’t determine this alone.

Note: this isn’t supposed to be some kind of formally informational post, so if it’s not completely accurate, it’s because it wasn’t meant to be. I’m just trying to illustrate the difference between the energies.

Masculine Aries: likes to show off, does things to get a rise out of people, wants a lot of attention, wants to be admired & perceived as strong or brave, very independent, confident, perhaps cocky, argumentative, energetic, usually optimistic, impulsive, adventurous, competitive, must get their way or they turn into toddlers, can be overbearing, want to make people laugh but sometimes go about it the wrong way and it ends up at someone else’s expense.
Feminine Aries: very high expectations for themselves, can beat themselves up over their failures & shortcomings, extremely independent, passionate, often creative, wants to be perceived as capable, can be narrow-minded because they get so determined, usually really funny, can be bullies because they internalize their energy and it turns to aggression without any other outlet, probably good at sports even if they don’t like them.

Feminine Taurus: can be extremely lazy, prone to self-indulgence, likes to have their own space and to be on their own, may need reassurance from time to time, has trouble motivating, does things at their own pace, stubborn, supportive, very loyal, clingy, envious, likes to share things they like with the people who are close to them (not necessarily possessions, mostly interests).
Masculine Taurus: likes to work in groups, relatively cooperative as long as they aren’t being disrespected, even more stubborn than a regular Taurus, can be arrogant, likes to socialize and to be included in things, may have a very tight clique that they prefer not to let too many people into, probably doesn’t have very many real hobbies but can be very creative.

Masculine Gemini: very talkative, likes to share ideas, has many friends but maybe one close one, can’t comprehend emotions, amazingly funny because they’re so witty and quick, can be extremely manipulative, jokes about everything and can be painfully inappropriate because of it, get bored super easily, often pretty optimistic people, change their mind at the drop of a pin.
Feminine Gemini: has a trillion hobbies, friendly but picky about who they hang out with, love reading more than life itself, energetic but they suppress their enthusiasm most of the time, concerned about how they come across, rarely know themselves so they’re frequently confused and can’t maintain healthy relationships very well, giggly, likely love memes, funny, can be timid.

Feminine Cancer: super sensitive, moody, compassionate, manipulative, usually homebodies, creative, need lots of reassurance, can be brooding, some of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet, like to help, like to take charge and guide others (especially younger siblings/peers), can be pushy or bossy if they’re comfortable with you, extremely shy with strangers, have trouble opening up because they need to be proven that you’re a safe place.
Masculine Cancer: overbearing & domineering, clingy, goofy, enthusiastic, talk about wanting to have kids or own (more?) pets a lot, loses their shit when someone’s mean to someone they care about, nurturing in a leader kind of way, very creative, like to read, easily annoyed, easily hurt and may have a bad habit of calling people out, can be intolerant, extremely supportive.

Masculine Leo: remarkably energetic, full of enthusiasm, hilarious, bubbly, creative, usually loyal, maintain a positive outlook, can be vain, can be either very generous or very selfish, need validation, need attention, like to be in charge even though they may not know how to lead, want to be independent but also want a lot of friends, always need something to do and somewhere to go or they get annoyed, want to be entertained and to entertain.
Feminine Leo: insecure, can be self-depreciating (especially when joking), attention-seeking, generous, friendly, independent, may feel lonely a lot, very passionate, extremely sensitive, easily offended, can be argumentative, infatuated with the idea of being famous, maybe want to be performers but likely have stage fright, may not understand themselves, need to be reassured that they are loved and admired, want to be romanticized.

Feminine Virgo: inquisitive, insecure, don’t understand emotions and prefer to ignore them all, give up easily, mentally organized, refuse to open up, full of fear and worry, usually can’t stand up for themselves, nit-picky, critical, quiet, bookish, knowledgeable, care about being educated, care too much about their appearance, might have a warped idea of what health is because their perception of themselves depends on others’ opinions, linguistically creative, do lots of favors for the people they care about, need to be appreciated.
Masculine Virgo: extremely critical, neat, can be intolerant, considerate, can be bullies, can be unfriendly but usually polite, articulate, can think mechanically, have a hard time relating to other people, can be huge hypocrites, want to be understood, love to give and receive compliments, enjoy the sun, probably like to cook, usually consistent, careful, calculating, quick learners, love to learn, like to feel intellectually superior, down-to-earth, sarcastic and dry sense of humor, sassy.

Masculine Libra: charming, flirtatious, playful, apologize a lot, elegant, have a great appreciation for art, can be pretentious, always diffusing arguments whether they’re theirs or not, considerate, diplomatic, sassy, try not to say controversial things, can be extremely superficial, hate discord, don’t have very many strong feelings, don’t understand any emotions other than compassion and lust, infatuated with romance, idealistic, care about justice.
Feminine Libra: probably follow politics closely, educated, cultured, dainty, polite, kind, thoughtful, sweet, can be manipulative, can be two-faced, quick to compromise, can be huge pushovers, put others before themselves, can be hypocritical, need close friendships, hopeless romantic, cry a lot, feel lonely a lot, frequently ask for advice and external opinions, creative, have refined tastes, want everything to be beautiful, easily disappointed, hopeful.

Feminine Scorpio: extremely secretive, calculating, manipulative, independent, want to be in control, dislike the spotlight, suspicious, feels betrayed at the smallest things, internalizes their feelings, very compassionate, understanding, know how to handle people, sensitive, have lots of dark thoughts, loners, feel unsafe a lot, easily offended, passionate, ambitious, can have tunnel vision, need intimacy, need emotional feedback.
Masculine Scorpio: private, distrustful, vengeful, super funny, domineering, love animals, friendly but need a lot of alone time, can be explosive, have very strong opinions and may start drama wherever they go because of it, voice their mind whenever they want, can be headstrong, love dark comedy (they basically embody it), artistic, intrusive, can be hypocritical.

Masculine Sagittarius: huge show-off, energetic, enthusiastic, joke around a lot, full of wanderlust, experimental, adventurous, reckless, can be insensitive, usually blunt, don’t like to beat around the bush, love to explore, do things on a whim, can be hypocritical, can be bigoted, always want to be right, try to be open-minded, not often the judgmental type, scared of commitment (not only to a person but to ideas or lifestyles as well), desire freedom & knowledge.
Feminine Sagittarius: very independent, love to learn by reading or watching rather than doing, either extremely silly or extremely sarcastic (maybe both), make fun of everything, can be bullies, usually very intelligent and educated, cultured, impulsive but ironically not very reckless, may have a lot of fears, may feel trapped & restless a lot, have huge imaginations, high libido.

Feminine Capricorn: hardworking, ambitious, rarely ask for help, independent, have a very dry sense of humor, want to be seen as competent and to achieve power, driven, often pretty confident in their own abilities, very concerned with taking care of themselves, can’t express emotions, find intimacy difficult and vulnerability even harder, seldom open up, likely don’t trust anybody, feel wounded a lot but never let themselves be victimized.
Masculine Capricorn: conceited, sarcastic, often the “leader” of a project or group (and extremely good at it), incredibly intelligent, share their opinions in articulate ways, usually constructive individuals, can be controlling, may feel frustrated a lot, have impeccable self-control, know what they want and how to get it, probably look wealthier & more successful than they are, strong-willed, definitely somebody’s “rock,” steady, trustworthy, reliable, relentless.

Masculine Aquarius: rebellious, inventive, like to push people’s buttons, social but reserved, flirtatious, very funny, imaginative, good-willed, have good intentions, try to be kind, can be idealistic, highly intelligent, have strong opinions, like to debate, like to come up with ideas, have trouble asking for help, hate feeling vulnerable, need lots of alone time, can be arrogant, can be very egotistical, dislike to admit when they’re wrong.
Feminine Aquarius: very creative, tend to isolate themselves, have a dry but hilarious sense of humor, can be very idealistic, can have trouble expressing their emotions, love to laugh, either very adventurous or a homebody, logical thinkers, may feel trapped within themselves, may feel like they’re observers of everyone else’s life (and possibly their own), like to be included, probably like to read or write, either have trouble trusting or trust too easily, may not put much faith in other people.

Feminine Pisces: very shy, can be timid, need reassurance, need to be appreciated, often too compassionate for their own good, sensitive, emotional, spend a lot of time daydreaming or thinking deeply, need space, need to feel safe before they can express themselves, have lots of needs, can be manipulative, tend to victimize themselves, feel responsible for the well-being of other people, creative, imaginative, often artistic, love animals, gentle.
Masculine Pisces: have many friends (because people adore them) but they may not feel particularly close to many of them, feel like they’re not a part of this world, often feel like they’re not achieving their full potential, wishful thinkers, can be either extremely pessimistic or optimistic, may be interested in more outgoing forms of art like acting but likely too shy or insecure to pursue them, funny as hell, probably cry a lot, big-hearted, poetic.

The Benefit of Squares (Astrology)

In astrology, the common association with hard aspects such as squares is that they are inherently negative aspects which will cause great difficulty in ones personality and environment.

The problem here is that in astrology, NOTHING is black and white - there are a lot of grey areas where aspects between planets and also signs have an inherent sense of light and dark, but nothing is strictly ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

It’s often too easy to simply say something is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ than to analyse how these supposedly difficulties energies can make a beneficial compromise.

Each sign and aspect has both positive and negative qualities within them, it’s there inherent potential of how we choose to use these energies that is the key.

Knowing this, there is potential for squares to become a beneficial aspect.

The reason for this is that the nature of a square causes friction to the point that manifestation and/or a release of energy must occur. Two planets in a square aspects will cause a friction of two personality types. The point to remember is that planets in Square often share the same modality - therefore a compromise can be made between two planets if the goal of the modality is taken into account.

… 

EXAMPLES

Cardinal Square: They share the same need for forward movement and initiation of an idea (♎️), action (♈️), project (♑️) and self-care and security (♋️).

Knowing this, you can find what each planet in Square wishes to accomplish.

♋️/♎️: Initiating a new idea for self-care through interaction with or for others. Emotion vs logical rationalisation of things.

Taking into consideration personal needs and the needs of others. Compromising the need to take action based on logic and rationality and emotional provocation and intuitive action.  

♎️/♑️: Initiating a new idea or plan into a practical project. Compromising the need for a goal with working with other people and taking their perspectives into account. Understanding that one can not always be in charge of a situation, and shared responsibility must take place. Compromise needed to achieve a goal.

♈️/♋️: Initiating an action based on emotional provocation. Needing to recognise when one is becoming too aggressive to emotional stimulation. Learning how to care for others through action. Caring for ones own emotional wellbeing and stability. Providing oneself their own sense of security.

♑️/♈️: Initiating an action on a practical goal and project. Leading by power and example. Working for oneself and relying on ones own actions and energy. Sticking to a set path. Taking the role as authority. Doing things in ones own way to benefit the self.

Mutable Square: These signs are inherently changeable and adaptable to their circumstance, often changing and evolving as their perception changes due to new experiences. Mutable squares can be seen as being the easiest signs to integrate, as their natural flexible nature allows a compromise. These signs are about adapting and changing their physical surroundings (♍️), their ideas and perceptions (♊️) , their emotions based on sensory perception (♓️), and the way they take action, extending beyond what they can do and have done (♐️).

♊️/♍️: Changing the way tone does things when new information is presented. Testing the practicality of other ideas and thoughts. Perfecting known ideas and information. Testing the logical of preconceived ideas and information, and changing the way things are originally done.

♍️/♐️: Changing the day-to-day routine by engaging in long distance travel. Making philosophical ideas practical and perfecting them. Expanding and questioning the initial way things are done and creating something new from it. Servitude for a higher belief. Being humorous and playful when giving critical feedback.  

♊️/♓️: Thinking about and rationalising an emotional connection to others and the universe. Communicating ones sense of empathy to another. Writing down intuitive feelings and perceptions as possible psychic provocations. Communicating artists thoughts and ideas, perhaps in a form of a story or poetry.

♐️/♓️: Taking action on spiritual receptivity to the universe. Understanding life from a a far higher perspective. Activity teaching higher knowledge and understanding of spirituality and connection to the universe as one. Changing spiritual beliefs based on ones own sensory perception and connection to the universe at large. Healing and charity for those living overseas in unprivileged countries.

Fixed Square: This square is ultimately the most difficult to integrate due to its inherent nature to stay in one place due to stubbornness for change. If these energies can find a particular goal to aim for, these squares can provide the most beneficial results due to the massive power expended once the energy is related to create something great. These energies aim on building upon and maintaining ones sense of material security and resources (♉️), ones sense of self and their individual expression (♌️), their emotional security and inherent emotional power (♏️), and their own original unique and innovative ideas (♒️).

♉️/♌️:  Maintaining a sense of security when expressing the self as they truely are. A step-by-step approach to leadership. Expressing ones own inherent and natural beauty. Productivity in creative expression. Expressing the self through creating material objects and products. Using charisma and an extravagant presentation to create profit and wealth.

♌️/♏️: Transforming the way one expresses themselves. Integrating deep emotional connection and passion into creative expression and assertion. Sexual extravagance. Projecting a powerful sense of expression. Pride in ones own transformation. Sharing the spotlight. Passionate and powerful leadership.

♏️/♒️: Deep connection to humanity. Transforming people by the masses. Destroying and transforming the dynamics of society. Passionate connection to unique and innovative thoughts to benefit humanity. Deep passion for change and reform. Sexual innovation and transformation. Healing others. Deep and through scientific analysis, uncovering what is hidden.

♒️/♉️: Innovation and change on the way to create material things. Unique creations for profit. Originality in practicality. Scientific and practical step-by-step approach. Detached and objective evaluation using the 5 senses. Innovative way to building towards material wealth. Originality and innovation in artistic pursuits.

The planets involved in the square aspect will indicate what parts of the personality and sense of action is in tension, the signs on the planets will indicate how they do things. Applying the above formula of the compromise between sign modalities will show how to compromise the parts of the personality in tension.

Example: Mars ♌️ Square Saturn ♉️.Taking creative and powerful action towards approaching a career goal, involving passion to create ones own wealth that will last. Fixating on a long term goal to reach material success by applying ones self to the task, being authentic in their self-expression and creative passion. Consistently applying ones self to create long-term results.

Remember that absolutely nothing in a natal chart is inherently ‘bad’ or ‘good’, they are simply a composition of energetic potentials that can work to your benefit when consciously applying yourself and your actions. 

©ellie-mae-astrology on Tumblr