no idea about the title

If I’m a Saint, Then You’re Heaven

Summary: Phil is less than excited to start his Sex in the Bible course, but he can’t bring himself to regret it when he meets a gorgeous angel dressed in all pink by the name of Dan.
Word Count: 11,068
Warnings: Lots of religious talk, homophobia, physical fight, smut
A/N: Hey guys! I wrote this because I was tired of people writing a religious fic where Phil continuously tries to get Dan to sin. So this came out, where they both respect each other despite their religious differences (With a dash of sex at the end). If you’re uncomfortable reading smut then no worries! It’s easy to tell when they’re going to get it on and it ends at the ’-’ and is very close to the end (: Lastly, special thanks to @insanityplaysfics for betaing this for me and giving me this entire idea! Also thank you @phandommother for helping me out with the idea as well and listening to me rant about it :’)
Title Creds: Cement - Citizen
Read it on AO3

-

Phil didn’t know why he decided to take the class. None of his friends were taking it and it honestly seemed like a lot of shit that Phil didn’t particularly care about, shit that didn’t really help him with his future career in any way. It seemed like a class that had a lot of reading, reading that Phil would probably never do, and let’s be honest, he probably only took the class because it had the word ‘sex’ in the title.

He walked into his Sex in the Bible class five minutes late on his first day.

The teacher didn’t bat an eye. Heads didn’t turn to look at him. Phil just sauntered in and stood at the back of the lecture room with his backpack slung over one shoulder while he scanned the room for a seat. Sometimes he forgot just how uncaring everyone was in university. He could just walk in ten to twenty minutes late and nobody would give a shit. Especially not in a class where there were over one hundred students.

(He didn’t understand why there were so many students in Sex in the Bible. They probably also just took the class because of the word ‘sex’).

Keep reading

thecousinsdangereux  asked:

'Roombas With Jetpacks'

  • billy cranston finds a roomba
  • billy decides to equip the roomba with a jetpack
  • i mean why not, right?  it’s not like it’ll actually fly
  • or that it could do any real damage to anything
    • spoiler alert: it flies
    • second spoiler alert: it does real damage to billy cranston’s mother’s house
  • now look
  • mrs cranston has put up with a lot
  • she didn’t open up a can of whoopass on billy or jason when her van disappeared
  • even though it was so obviously their fault
  • but now billy has friends and that’s great and she adores them all
  • but those children who are now also her children are A Problem
  • because they decided t o encourage billy to put a jetpack on a roomba
    • there’s a hole in her wall
    • a big hole
  • she calls everyone’s parents
  • e v e r y o n e
    • kim’s parents do not care because whatever.  small damages.  who cares
    • trini’s mother grounds her for eternity
      • eh, whatever
      • being a power ranger makes it so easy to sneak out
    • zack’s mother gives him A Look and he immediately starts crying
    • jason’s parents decide it’s all his fault
      • they all decide it must be jason’s fault
      • he’s the jock
      • jocks make poor choices everyone knows that
        • spoiler alert: trini supported jetpack roomba
        • spoiler alert: zack support jetpack roomba
        • spoiler alert: kim named jetpack roomba hotlips and painted bright pink lips on it
        • spoiler alert: billy built hotlips an sent her on her maiden voyage
        • spoiler alert: jason said jetpack roomba was a bad idea
  • poor jason

Carlos still has nightmares about the desert otherworld.
He still wakes up, shaking and terrified, with the images of mangled, giant bodies and bloody, dark walls stained on the back of his eyelids.
It scares him; but it never scares him as much as the afterthoughts.
The desert otherworld. Loneliness. Empty space. Hollow science. Sad nights. Cecil.
Cecil.
He wakes up breathless, sitting upright with urgency, one desperate, shaking cry for his dear, sweet Cecil.
“What?” Cecil always answers, one-half groggy, one-half ready to attack whatever had frightened Carlos. He lwould be sitting up with Carlos immediately, a kitchen knife clutched in his hand – Carlos had told him to put that away before? – aiming it around the room blindly without his glasses.
A bedside lamp would be turned on. Glasses would be retrieved. And once Carlos wipes the sweat from his forehead with a trembling hand, he tucked himself in Cecil’s arms and closes his eyes.
He always knows he’s home. He knows he’s safe. And Cecil would tell him that, over and over until Carlos believed it.
“I’m here,” Cecil always whispers into his hair. Warm words in a hot room, baking in a desert midnight. But Carlos didn’t care. He relaxed at the sound of Cecil’s voice, the smooth sweep of Cecil’s hands through his hair, the scratch of his facial hair against Cecil’s neck, and the lulling, soft emotion of existential comfort that washed over him at that perfectly imperfect moment.
“I’m here,” Cecil says again. Soft, kind, and so very much like Cecil. And Carlos always sighs, relieved. “I’m here.”

Ok I got this dumb idea while thinking about Gold’s title as the “Breeder” and baby Pokemon and babies came to mind so I did this… 

I know a lot of people depict Gold as completely reckless (which he is mostly) but I think he’d be great with kids.. ya. Tbh I can totally see Gold doing this HAHAHA

Also here’s a bonus thingy

…I also need more mangaquestshipping in my life ok

Sentence Meme; Garth Nix’s Sabriel
  • “One of unusual calling, but unskilled.”
  • “Death and what comes after it is no great mystery.”
  • “Don’t do anything for a moment. I will speak to it.”
  • “What do you think you’re doing? You can’t loiter here!”
  • “Do you know my father? He used to visit me here.”
  • “I’m glad you understand. I still don’t.”
  • “I may be less honored and more reviled as a messenger of ill omen.”
  • “How long til the bindings fail?”
  • “You don’t seem disturbed by your lack of directions.”
  • “I don’t feel young anymore.”
  • “Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?”
  • “Perhaps they’ll know you from your sword?”
  • “Do not tarry, do not stop, no matter what happens.”
  • “Do you think that will get through?”
  • “About time you got here.”
  • “You are only wishing that he lives.”
  • “I see you have found that book.”
  • “I know the way, so I’d better come with you.”
  • “So you are the victim of some spell.”
  • “A kiss. Actually, just a breath would do. But you have to start kissing someone sometime, I suppose.”
  • “Cleanliness is a wonderful thing.”
  • “You do remember what you’ve done?”
  • “Get dressed, for a start.”
  • “Just do as you’re told.”
  • “Have you got any ideas about how to open this door?”
  • “What’s the village leader’s title - usually, I mean? What are they called?”
  • “The sea washes all things clear, for a time.”
  • “I just thought that you might like to know that their room is that way.”
  • “Put your sword away and give me your hand.”
  • “Hush, we have no time for tears.”
  • “He always was flamboyant.”
  • “Why are we running?”
  • “Do you always know what’s going to happen?”
  • “Halt! You are my prisoners!”
  • “”Are you coming with us?”
  • “Be inside by nightfall. Lock all the doors and windows.Deny entry to strangers. Shed light inside and out.”
  • “I wish _____ was here. He’d think of something.”
  • “The fog is almost at the gates.”
  • “The blood price must be paid.”
  • “This is not their path.”
  • “I should have remembered you were a troublesome brat.”
  • “Will you sleep, unknowing, or will you go waking, every step of the way?”

missonlinerebel  asked:

Could you maybe go in depth about what you want to see in the next Fantastic Beasts movie? And possible what you think the title should be?

I have no idea about the title :P “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 2”? No idea!

As for what I want to see in the next movie:

  • Jakweenie - I want them reconciling/getting together, and for it to be clear that he has his memories back (does he now? Or is it just a feeling he’s got that he’s seen her before?)
  • Credence - I want to see what the fuck happened to him
  • I want to see Newt getting over Leta and realizing he’s in love with Tina in some way…or, you know, ANY indication that he’s in love with Tina tbh.
  • Preferably, Newt and Tina getting together but I don’t have high hopes - it took 7 books for Romione to get together. Wouldn’t surprise me if they dragged it out ridiculously.
  • THESEUS/NEWT’S FAMILY, HOLY HELL PLEASE
  • More of Newt’s backstory - we know next to nothing really about who he was before the first film
  • I JUST WANT TINA IN ALL OF THE FILMS PROMINENTLY OKAY

I don’t know to be honest?

Ideas - Niall/Pyrocynical x Reader

A/N: I wrote this a little while ago, I’m pretty sure it was the first Pyro related thing I ever wrote that wasn’t a joke :3 Also I had no idea what to call it so sorry about the title. I hope you enjoy it! ~ Admin Sunny

After a short visit to a friend, you came home to find Niall sitting at the computer watching some kind of terrible rap between two man-children. He look very immersed in the video, elbows on the computer desk and cheeks in his palms. You tiptoed quickly and sat down next to him. He either didn’t notice you, or was ignoring you. You decided to find out by poking him in his shoulder, causing him to fall off the chair in surprise.

“Oh god, (Y/N). I think you just scarred the last remaining bit of my soul out my body.” He remarked.

You giggled and helped him up, feeling his warm, soft hand touch your cold, stiff one. Niall frowned.

“You’re really cold (Y/N). Sit down and watch some cancer with me.” He smiled.

You sat side-on in his lap, pressing your freezing body against his rather heated one. You cuddled into his side and turned your head around to continue watching whatever he was.

“Now you see this video is great, it has gigantic man-children in it having a rap battle about horror movies or something, I don’t know. Not to mention the fact the one of them has a minecraft sword in his hand, but that’s about it. I can’t really say a lot about the video because honestly their rapping is just really mediocre.” Niall explained.
“You forgot to mention the fact that there’s a my little pony doll collection in the background of the bedroom they’re filming in. And that guy’s man-bun is so tight you can see the shape of the skull through his skin.” You added.
Niall laughed. “You’re really good (Y/N), I’ve got to write that down.”

You smiled and continued to watch and absorb his heat. The two of you watched a few other videos, and you continued with adding from what Niall had said. Once he’d picked out his video and you’d helped him figure out most of what he was going to say, you left him be to record while you went and go a snack.

“Hey (Y/N)?” Niall called out.
“Hm?” You replied.
“Er, could you come here for a minuet?” He asked.
“Of course I can.” You said.

Once you were in the room with him he looked and you and his eyes instantly lit up, yours automatically doing the same in return.

“What’s up?” You asked.
“Did you uh, did you want to be in this video? I can’t just take all the credit for those things you said, I want everyone to know they came from you.” Niall answered shyly, rubbing the back of his neck slightly.

You didn’t want to say no to him, but you were worried about his fans. You didn’t feel ready to let them know who you were, even though there was a bit of speculation after one of Roman’s fuck ups in one of the CS:GO montages, that he stupidly included in. You were extremely shy about it all.

“I don’t know.” You said quietly.
“Look, I know you’re worried about what they’ll think but you shouldn’t. You’re fucking funny (Y/N), and if they take time to listen to you, they’ll love you. Any ‘fan’ that doesn’t respect you is no fan of mine,” Niall pulled you in for a hug. “I understand if you don’t want to be in it, but I’d enjoy recording it a lot more if you were.”

You felt really touched by his words, and therefor agreed. He seamed really, really happy about it and hugged you again.

“Thank you so much (Y/N), this will be brilliant.”
You grinned and sat next to him, re going over what you had suggested so you could now say it for yourself.

Once Niall had finished editing the video, you finally got to see what he’s done with it. He refused to let you see it until it was fully uploaded, so you tried your best to wait patiently for what seamed like for ever. You scooted over next to him, only to have him pick you up out of the chair and sit your looking straightforward on his lap.

'Cringey Man-Child Rap Battle (feat. My Girlfriend)’

He let you do the honours of pressing the play button. You happily watched while his arms were wrapped around your waist and his head rested on your shoulder. He kissed your cheek and buried his head into the back of your shoulder as the video started, a bit worried about what you’d think of it.

“Today I’d like to introduce all to the writer of about 95% of my dialog in my videos, that would be my girlfriend, (Y/N).”

You grinned after watching through the whole video and turned around to give Niall a deep kiss. He smiled, a little surprised by the gesture.

“Thanks for upping my confidence a bit,” You smiled. “Never thought I’d do that in a million years.”
Niall delicately placed his hand on your cheek and kissed you once more. “It’s alright.”

You had a pretty good night after that, listening to Niall already pitch in future video ideas staring you. You rolled your eyes.

“Calm down, I just made my debut..” You laughed.
“I can’t help it, Jesus. Filming and editing hasn’t been that fun in ages.” Niall looked down, and then looked back up at you. “I love doing things with you, just anything. Because I love you.”
“I love you too.” You placed a kiss on his forehead and laid his head down in your lap for a calm night of movie watching.

Shit Abled People Say #287

“” If you KNOW that it’s a delusion then you’re faking it and it can’t be real “”

<sarcasm>oh thanks, didn’t realize you were a therapist / doctor.</sarcasm>

Devi meets Dark [intro]

[errr i seriously had no idea how to title this story. It’s about my dark? side meeting Darkiplier. Hope you like it!]

“No…” I plead. “I can’t take it- no, no more.. st-stop, please..”

His smile, smirks, laughter echoing, spiking. Dark, looming, all sides, corners, everywhere. The mental torture and gashing images keep flowing, pressing like a river of.. blood! I gasped. Another one, a vision. Not as bad as the others but still terrible horrible ghastly badbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbad they don’t stop.

The flashback played again. I see Mark, my friend. He ran, knocked on my door, pleading me to help him, hide him. He didn’t want to worry his friends and girlfriend, so he came to me. Because I knew. I let him in my house, my room. I supported him best as I could while he was hurt by Dark and fought Dark. “He’s stronger”, “I can’t fight him”, “He’s coming.” Mark says, scared, frightened, over and over. I persist, willing Mark to make it. I saw blood splashes on the wall, another one Dark’s tricks. Dark emerged. Mark screamed, he screamed, “RUN!”. I couldn’t. The door could not be unlocked. He backed into a corner, by the door. We were not strong enough.

My head! The pain! I don’t think I can stand it anymore.

I gripped my dead hair and banged my head against the floor 15 times. I’m desperate. The visions are still there. Stop. STOP. No, no. nonononononono! NO! Enough!

I let go. I’m sorry Mark, I cannot wait for you. To emerge and come back. I can’t. Davia. I let her, take over. Goodbye until the darkness is gone.

The crumpled body stops sobbing, wailing, and crying out screams. Dark eased his acts of inflicting suffering onto Mark’s friend and observed this ball of a broken human. Numb, dead, the lying figure in a corner appeared to be. But wait. The eyes, they snapped bright open, as sharp as ever, blessed with life and alertness of mind. They were once puffy and red, but that was gone, ushered in place were opaque, crystal-like blue eyes. The body rose up, footing firm, facing Dark at his level. The eyes, looking straight into Dark’s. The demon merely raised an eyebrow, while his vision glossed her over. He noted about the person standing before him, too many changes for it to be the same victim he had played with. Brave, ready-to-fight stature, confidence just spilling out from It, the sudden ability to handle the haunting images he sent, the eyes, the chill demeanour. It was someone else, or something else. An ‘It’.

“Hello Darkness, my old friend.” A glossy, feminine voice came from It. It strode over to the well-dressed demon with the hellish black aura around him. “I never knew you came in a human form, a good-looking one at that.” It commented on Dark, who was observing It before acting on anything. Casual, with a hint of being pissed off and a sprinkle of sass, was the way It spoke. It touched the velvet of his vest, its finger nearly gliding over the material.

“Have we met?” Dark spoke, bemused yet cautious, for It was foreign to him after all. His question echoed in the room and in its ears, his dominance challenging this.. creature. He could not sense or determine if what he faced was a demon; It looked like one, felt like one, even smelt like one. But, It did not have a soul of a demon, but its soul instead somewhat resembled the host’s. Peculiar he thought.

“Good day, I’m Devi. Although my friend calls me Davia. I am here because I have to protect her from you” It identified herself, her name, her intentions, but not what or who she is. His stare, as cold as death, did not frighten or even discomfort her. Nothing, only her folded arms and poker face of a king’s guard doing the job. No fear leaked out of her, only simple loyalty to her friend, and condemnation for Dark’s action of hurting that friend.

He questioned Devi with a headmaster’s patronising voice, “How do you plan to do that? I don’t suppose you will just stand there and watch me. That’s a dog job.” A smile escaped his lips, demeaning and treating her like a little girl.

Devi rolled her eyes, getting sassy, “By quitting your game of mental nightmares and playing my game. It’s called ‘Wanna tussle’ !” She launched and punched him square in the face. Backing off three feet, she watched Dark’s response. He was stunned, but only for a moment. He growled, spitting.

“Cheap shot, pest.”

2

How to Work Through an Arabic Text (or, How I get Through My Readings):

1. Grab a few different color highlighters, a pen/pencil, your text, Google translate, and/or Hans Wehr

2. Hopefully you have an idea what the text is about. If not, skim the title/author, first paragraph, subheadings, and any footnotes so you can get a gist of the text. This step will help you out when you’re a few sentences in and have no idea what’s going on (three years in and this is still an all-too-common part of my Arabic experience). 

3. I use three different highlighter colors (feel free to switch this up to fit your study needs):

-Blue: verbs. Highlighting verbs will help you in class discussions so you can practice discussing key points in the text using the same verbs. It can also help you find where different points and thoughts begin.

-Orange: Aduwat alrubt (ادوات الربط). Like verbs, highlighting transition words helps you talk about the fluidity of ideas in a text. Also, learning the connectors in any language and using them well is a reliable way to elevate your level.

-Pink: Key points. Sometimes I also use a yellow highlighter to highlight headings. 

4. Words you don’t know: use sheikh Google IF AND ONLY IF you are a somewhat advanced Arabic student. We all know that it’s wrong more often than not, but if you know how to use it and can recognize when it’s wrong, go for it. Sometimes it’s easier to type in the trilateral root of the word and derive its meaning manually through grammar when using Google. Otherwise, use Hans Wehr or your Arabic dictionary of choice to look words up. Try to do this as little as possible. Also, as a challenge, try writing the definition of the word in Arabic instead of English. 

5. Write key points/key words on the edge of each paragraph so you can reference the text more easily during class. 

This is the way I usually do it! How do you guys get through Arabic texts?

The not so flat story: Stan & Ricki

@afourletterwordfordirt

“See, Tubbs, there’s this thing called a platen and, well, sometimes you have to adjust it.”

Tubbs had always had a small gift for the mechanical and building things with her hands. However, what Stan was talking about was enough to confound her. Helplessly confused eyes study him. Her dark brows furrow heavily. 

“What the heck is a platen? Look Stan, I don’t think I’d be able to tell the plankton from …. whattcha-ma-call it….” She shrugs her shoulder in the direction of the typewriter. “I wouldn’t even be able to tell you where the plankton can be found… much less adjusted.” The tough former city dweller confesses. “Are you sure you want to use me for this case?” Tubbs nervously asks. 

a story about you // a mix for wakaba, flourishing

“but there was a time, one day, one single day, in which it was only one story” 

[ listen ]

my best friend is you - kate nash / wallflower - priscilla ahn / ten cent blues - eisley / not your year - the weepies / measuring cups - andrew bird /  margaret vs pauline - neko case / you belong with me (rive remix) - coyote kisses / wannabe - far east mention mannequin / you could have it so much better - franz ferdinand / are you satisfied? - marina and the diamonds / gentouchouga juuroku seiki (magic lantern, butterfly, moth, sixteenth century) - j.a. seazer / sidekick - lisa mitchell / short movie - laura marling

Supercat Lost Girl AU

what about a lost girl au where cat’s the morrigan (still running catco) and kara’s still young enough she doesn’t have to declare quite yet (because i remember in the show that once you reach a certain age you declare, but until then you’re automatically neutral p much) and she’s part of an old v powerful extinct species, primarily Light family, and kara’s parentage is kept a huge secret-everyone knows she’s fae, yes, but no one really knows she’s part of the extinct El family (clark’s still alive, still a child, but whisked away and separated from each other, it’s safer) and she’s adopted by the Danvers.

She’s still 24, has a few more years before she has to declare, and she’s currently working as cat’s assistant (cat knows she’s fae, but kara’s been lying for the past 12 something years, she’s a lot more powerful than the official records say) and she’s still trying to get a hold on her powers

and then, after more than a decade, astra comes out of hiding. astra, who caused several ripples when someone from the house of In-Ze, another powerful Light family, when she declared herself dark, barely talking to any of her family members for centuries, until kara was born (she had a lot more leeway spending time with kara than any of her other family members, since kara hasn’t officially taken a side).

There’s a storm coming. And kara can’t really be anonymous anymore.

sorceressassassin  asked:

Ok so I have to ask but I know dropping the Steve related titles is a good idea but what about woman lead titles like Ms. Marvel? Should we drop those too? Or just anything with Steve?

Yeah sure!

So for the record, the reason I dropped my Marvel books is because this was the last straw for me. I’m really sick of Marvel’s constant renumbering and events in general and this was just the final straw. By no means do I think people should boycott the entire Marvel line. You can, but as stated, it will hurt creators who are writing diverse titles that have nothing to do with the event. Which will in turn cause Marvel to blame said diverse books for their sales as they have done previously.

In short, you got options. You can drop everything and I totally understand if you do given everything, but if you want to show Marvel what you want to see from them, and believe they’ll follow through, you can put money into the titles that are diverse and ignore the shit involved in said shit show.

So you’re right to avoid all books Steve is in. The only exceptions would be comics that are meant to tie into the movies, but since Cap isn’t featuring in any upcoming Marvel movies lately, a blanket boycott should work there. You should also avoid any books that are tie ins to “Secret Empire’ which is the event. They should be labeled with the Secret Empire logo since Marvel wants the tie ins to be obvious to drive sales. However, if you’re worried about buying a tie in on accident, every comic has a solicit (a sort of book blurb)  which can be found online and will almost always mention a tie in to an event at the very beginning. Just search Issue Name, Number and solicit

So in short, while you can drop everything, you can also show Marvel your opinion by avoiding any books or issues of a book that tie in and just refusing to buy any comics with Steve.

I’ve written 1124 words in the pre-babyfic story. And I need a title for this thing. The story starts the morning after Retrouvailles, with the Doctor insisting on running tests to make sure Rose’s dimension hopping didn’t do any damage. In the process, they discover that her DNA has changed enough thanks to Bad Wolf that they’re compatible now, which launches a conversation about if they want to have kids. 

So. Title ideas? I call it pre-babyfic because this is just the setup for that story arc, but need to think of something better to call it. 

Alright, so I may be finding a pattern for the sake of a loose theory.

I found this, the titles in every other video since his Portal co-op with Bob.

The idea about something happening on Jack’s birthday is going around and these titles only add to that notion, especially if he has a house party….

Again, it could be a coincidence but dammit, the Anti train keeps on chugging
and I don’t think any of us are coming off soon!

Minyarding (finally a fanfic)

based on @natrenwal ‘s wonderful post: http://romanqynch.tumblr.com/post/146484848419/moar-unfinished-art-because-that-is-my-way-of-the (check out natrenwal’s beautiful art)!

//these ideas were natrenwal’s and the last bit about Neil & Andrew were Sophie’s ( @carryonmywaywardsimonsnow )

Title: Minyarding 

Word count: 1,394

//

Minyarding[min-yar-ding]

  1. The art of motivating Andrew Minyard to reach for something

It all starts on a Movie night with the Foxes. Andrew gets up to retrieve the booze (because what’s a movie night without booze?). And as soon as he’s out of the room, Matt starts grinning. Wildly. Of course, it made him look suspicious. And of course, everyone would wonder.

“What did you do?” Nicky finally asks.

“Matt, you did not.” Dan says.

“Oh, I just did.” He gets up, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m going to check up on him.”

Allison turns to face Dan. “What did he do?”

Dan sighs. “He put the booze on…the top shelf.”

“He what?!” Now even Aaron looked alarmed. “You know he can’t…”

No one speaks; they know what he’s trying to say. It’s the unspoken thing in the room, the elephant they refuse to acknowledge; Andrew Minyard stood at 5 feet and the top shelf was at least a foot out of his reach.

“Well…” Allison is the first one to break the silence. “This will be interesting.” And it is, because she knows she won’t be the one Andrew will be destroying when he catches on.

Nicky nods, a conflicted expression on his face. He’s torn between amusement and fear; Andrew  is terrifying when he’s angry. He glances at Neil, hoping that he will help restrain Andrew when he lunges at Matt, but Neil is focused on the TV. Typical. All of this is happening and Neil just decides to watch the Exy game instead. Kevin too. It’s not surprising but it is frustrating. “Neil,” He whispers.

Neil doesn’t move or even turn around to acknowledge him. It’s extremely likely he didn’t hear him.

“Neil.” Nicky says loudly.

“What?” Neil picks up the remote and pauses the game. Kevin makes a noise of protest (Neil ignores him). He turns around to face Nicky.

“Matt’s going to be killed,” Nicky says, his voice an octave higher than it usually is. “By Andrew.”

“Only if he’s caught.” Neil says matter-of-factly.

Their phones vibrate. Dan is the first one to check it; she beams when she sees the snapchat. “He did it.”

“Without getting caught?” Allison opens the snapchat and sure enough- there is Matt alive and well.

In the photo, Matt is smirking at the camera while Andrew’s back is turned. Andrew is desperately trying to reach the booze, with his leg on the counter. One hand is braced on the counter while the other is in the air, trying (but failing) to grasp the bottle of booze. It’s such a sad sight that even Nicky laughs, forgetting the taste of fear on his tongue.

Neil smiles at the photo before snapping his phone shut and turning back to the Exy game.

// They tell the others the next day at practice. It’s easy to keep it quiet; Andrew isn’t interested in their chatter at all. Instead, he’s standing by the goal while Kevin makes some practice shots.

Abby is intrigued and listens carefully as Matt recounted the events that took place yesterday. For the record, Andrew did not win against the booze (Matt had to go and retrieve it in the end, but not before Andrew shot him a glare that would have sent him running with his tail between his legs if he wasn’t so amused). Wymack, on the other hand, is unimpressed by the news. He shakes his head at the team, but doesn’t say anything.

The underclassmen, well- they’re banned from playing. The second Matt finished telling his story, one of them said “nope, I’m out,” and walked out of the room. They just didn’t understand the thrill and the risk of the new sport- Matt decides to call it “Minyarding.” It’s appropriate, he thinks. And cool-sounding.

The second time this happens, it’s Thanksgiving. See, they have almost forgotten about the whole thing. Until Abby.

Their phones all vibrate (this is why no one answers their phone; their phones never ring) and they all check it at the same time. It’s a snapchat from Abby; at first it just looks like a selfie. Abby is smiling innocently, but when they look behind her, they see Andrew. He’s struggling with the cheese drawer in the refrigerator and despite Dan’s past reservations about Minyarding, she smiles. And then doubles over in laughter.

The others follow, and even Kevin smirks (a rare gem).

“I refuse to be outdone,” Matt declares.

And it begins.

//Allison is the third person to step up to the challenge. It happens on grocery week; the team always takes turns stocking up on items. It’s her turn today so she had decided to place the groceries high up on the shelves. Not high enough so she and the others can’t reach it, but high enough so that Andrew can’t reach it. In her selfie, she haughtily smiles and poses as Andrew is flailing for the body wash.

Everyone thinks it’s priceless- even Renee takes a screen-shot of the photo. She’s not going to get involved (not yet) but it’s amusing nonetheless. She may be friends with Andrew but well, Minyarding is a beautiful art that even she can’t deny.

//The next person, surprisingly, is Wymack. Nicky and Renee come early and find Neil and Andrew kissing in the locker room; Nicky is excited. He knows it would be a perfect time for a selfie.

“Look,” Nicky excitedly points at the two. “Aren’t they adorable?”

And they are. Andrew is standing on his tiptoes, hands resting on Neil’s neck, as Neil’s fingers run through his hair.

But they’re too slow. Their phones all vibrate (except for Neil’s and Andrew’s). They quickly check it. It’s Wymack, unsmiling but there, and behind him is Neil and Andrew kissing.

“Damn it, Coach,” Nicky says, under his breath.

Wymack has pulled ahead (step up your game, Foxes).

//But perhaps, the most memorable one would be Neil’s. He takes up the challenge because it interested him; he has been around Andrew the most so he has the most opportunities to do this.

So Neil takes the photo after he sees Andrew turn around. But as he sends the snapchat to the team- he realizes Andrew was looking right at the camera when he took the photo.

It’s too late to run; Andrew is standing behind him.

“What were you doing?” Andrew says in that dangerously low voice of his.

“Uh,” Neil says. “Taking a photo.”

“While I was trying to reach for something?”

“Yeah,” Neil smiles, aware that he’s playing with fire. “Minyarding.”

“Minyarding…” Andrew’s eyes narrow. “What’s that?”

“The art of motivating you to reach for something.” Neil explains.

Andrew doesn’t say anything for a moment. “That explains why they always tell me to get the booze- or the groceries.” The realization does not please him.

“Wait-” Neil doesn’t want to see his team get slaughtered before their Exy game.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t go over there right now.” Andrew says, and he hears the challenge in his voice.

“Well,” Neil steps closer. “Yes or no?” He whispers.

Andrew’s shoulders relax. “Yes.”

Next thing he knows, they’re kissing. Neil leaves his hands by his sides until Andrew tells him it’s alright, and then Neil’s hand is caressing Andrew’s face. Both of them are aware of the warmth emitting from the other- but the warmth they feel is entirely pleasant. It makes Andrew feel like he wouldn’t mind waking up in the morning if he gets to feel that warmth; he’ll never say it but that thought crosses his mind. For Neil, that warmth is safe- like home. Like the Foxes. He knows he constantly feels like he’s losing time but this- this feels like time has stopped. For him. For Andrew. And Neil finds that he doesn’t mind if time passes. Because it feels right to stand here with him, with Andrew’s lips on his.

The resolution of this story is that the Palmetto State Foxes were spared (their lives) because of Neil frickin’ Josten and his makeout session with Andrew.

P.S. It should also be noted that Andrew refused to retrieve items for the Foxes from then on.

P.S. Nevertheless, Minyarding had become a popular art worthy of the dictionary (nah, actually Matt was the one who grabbed a pen and wrote the definition down in the dictionary).

There’s a problem in the Phandom that people need to be aware of (opinion)

Listen, before you get any wrong ideas about what this is about because of the title, I spent five minutes trying to come up with one and that’s what came out.

I do not have a problem with the fandom, there’s a problem in it. Respect each other and their opinions. Not everyone in the phandom has to ship phan, okay? (I do, but listen, I speak wisdom). People have their own opinions, respect them. 

Phan proof. I hate it, it just reminds me of 2012 every time I see a “phan proof” video on YouTube (there is a difference between videos like “phan moments” and “phan proof”, the moments I don’t mind I mean I’ve seen every video). I wasn’t in the phandom in 2012, but I have binged their videos and noticed the change, not to mention I know what happened because I’ve seen it everywhere.

If you don’t know what happened in 2012, here’s an explanation:

In 2012 Dan and Phil became uncomfortable about people shipping phan. I can see why, it was getting intense. Phan proof popped up constantly, and the year was labelled as “No Homo Howell” year. This affected both of them, but the change in Dan was more clear. They had become slightly uncomfortable around each other, Dan was less happy and Phil did as well. There is a noticeable change in 2012, and please, we don’t want it to repeat. 

Dan and Phil are two human beings who are best friends. I ship phan (a lot I mean come on look at my page), but that doesn’t mean they have to be together. Friends can do things like share clothes and give each other gifts, that doesn’t mean they have to be together. The amount of “phan proof” videos have definitely decreased and a lot of people tell the others off for it.

I mean, yes I will squeal and screenshot when they make eye contact or if one of them smile at the other or if one glances down at their lips or watch “phan moments” videos because damn it I’m a phan shipper and I can. But, there’s a difference between shipping it and..well..SHIPPING IT. Some people will attempt to force them into a relationship and hate on them when they hang out with other friends. I hate it when one of them post a picture with their friends and all of the comments are: “where’s Phil?” “Um..I don’t see Dan here.” and so on.

THEY ARE HUMAN. I mean, seriously, they can have other friends, and they aren’t destined to be together. If they say they are straight, let them be straight unless they come out as otherwise. Make fan fiction, fan art, I love that stuff, but just..don’t try to actually force them into it. They have feelings and that can really affect them.

I love the phandom and I love Dan and Phil, so I really don’t want them to be hurt like in 2012.

I just really felt like ranting and please, don’t take offense to this, I’m speaking my mind and I felt like others should hear it.