no idea about the title

If I’m a Saint, Then You’re Heaven

Summary: Phil is less than excited to start his Sex in the Bible course, but he can’t bring himself to regret it when he meets a gorgeous angel dressed in all pink by the name of Dan.
Word Count: 11,068
Warnings: Lots of religious talk, homophobia, physical fight, smut
A/N: Hey guys! I wrote this because I was tired of people writing a religious fic where Phil continuously tries to get Dan to sin. So this came out, where they both respect each other despite their religious differences (With a dash of sex at the end). If you’re uncomfortable reading smut then no worries! It’s easy to tell when they’re going to get it on and it ends at the ’-’ and is very close to the end (: Lastly, special thanks to @insanityplaysfics for betaing this for me and giving me this entire idea! Also thank you @phandommother for helping me out with the idea as well and listening to me rant about it :’)
Title Creds: Cement - Citizen
Read it on AO3

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Phil didn’t know why he decided to take the class. None of his friends were taking it and it honestly seemed like a lot of shit that Phil didn’t particularly care about, shit that didn’t really help him with his future career in any way. It seemed like a class that had a lot of reading, reading that Phil would probably never do, and let’s be honest, he probably only took the class because it had the word ‘sex’ in the title.

He walked into his Sex in the Bible class five minutes late on his first day.

The teacher didn’t bat an eye. Heads didn’t turn to look at him. Phil just sauntered in and stood at the back of the lecture room with his backpack slung over one shoulder while he scanned the room for a seat. Sometimes he forgot just how uncaring everyone was in university. He could just walk in ten to twenty minutes late and nobody would give a shit. Especially not in a class where there were over one hundred students.

(He didn’t understand why there were so many students in Sex in the Bible. They probably also just took the class because of the word ‘sex’).

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thecousinsdangereux  asked:

'Roombas With Jetpacks'

  • billy cranston finds a roomba
  • billy decides to equip the roomba with a jetpack
  • i mean why not, right?  it’s not like it’ll actually fly
  • or that it could do any real damage to anything
    • spoiler alert: it flies
    • second spoiler alert: it does real damage to billy cranston’s mother’s house
  • now look
  • mrs cranston has put up with a lot
  • she didn’t open up a can of whoopass on billy or jason when her van disappeared
  • even though it was so obviously their fault
  • but now billy has friends and that’s great and she adores them all
  • but those children who are now also her children are A Problem
  • because they decided t o encourage billy to put a jetpack on a roomba
    • there’s a hole in her wall
    • a big hole
  • she calls everyone’s parents
  • e v e r y o n e
    • kim’s parents do not care because whatever.  small damages.  who cares
    • trini’s mother grounds her for eternity
      • eh, whatever
      • being a power ranger makes it so easy to sneak out
    • zack’s mother gives him A Look and he immediately starts crying
    • jason’s parents decide it’s all his fault
      • they all decide it must be jason’s fault
      • he’s the jock
      • jocks make poor choices everyone knows that
        • spoiler alert: trini supported jetpack roomba
        • spoiler alert: zack support jetpack roomba
        • spoiler alert: kim named jetpack roomba hotlips and painted bright pink lips on it
        • spoiler alert: billy built hotlips an sent her on her maiden voyage
        • spoiler alert: jason said jetpack roomba was a bad idea
  • poor jason
3

- bye july 👋🏼 thanks for being so nice to me!
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- shoutout to @studywithinspo for inspiring the drawings && the “washi tape in iphone box” idea! and thanks to @studyrose for the idea about using brown paper bag materials and using them for titles 😊
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- supplies: washi tape is from micheals, iPhone case in the 3rd picture is from milky way cases, and pencil case is from the Strand bookstore! if you have anymore questions about where the supplies is from just send an ask!! 🌟
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- i hope everyone else had a great july! keep studying 💓 also - are succulents supposed to be losing their petals/leaves or am i killing them? someone please tell me if i’m doing something wrong lol.

I will never let you fall

a/n: This is my gift to my best friend @eroticgropefest​​. Hope you appreciate my first (and maybe only) attempt at a snowbaz fic just for you, bruh! o// I figured since I’m helping turn you into as much of an h/c hoe as myself, you’d enjoy reading some of that as well (also I’m all out of ideas SORRY I TRIED). Enjoy your 26th aging up <3 :P


Baz

Snow is infuriating. I’m certain I’m not the only one who sees it: the way he shrugs at most questions, considering it to be enough of an answer; how he gets flustered and fumbles around looking for his words; how he has absolutely no control over his own immense powers; the way he follows the Mage around, like some kind of stray dog on a very short leash, awaiting his commands.

The most powerful magician alive.

I look at him across the room, once again failing at a spell. Bunce looks at him, exasperated, saying something I don’t care to hear. I glare some more at Snow’s ineptitude, feeling a fire deep inside me, something that tells me to shake some sense into him. How stupidly vulnerable he is! The dangers he puts himself in by his complete lack of control. How easy he’ll be to break under my hands when we inevitably have to face each other.

I can imagine myself marching over to him, pushing him up against a wall. I’d hold on to his neck and look right into those eyes, Snow’s unremarkable eyes, so ordinary and plain looking. I’d stare right at him (and I might choke him a little.) (Not too much, just a little. Just enough). He’d growl at me and it would smell of smoke and get unbearably warm. He’d be so close and alive and warm, I might have a taste. Bite a chunk right out of his neck in front of everyone. (or I might just snog the fuck out of him. Either one).

I don’t do any of that. Instead, I shake my head and then glare at him across the room, while Bunce continues to tell the absolute idiot what to do. Soon he seems to feel my stare and looks up at me. At first he seems confused, but his slow brain finally catches up. and he glares right back, closing his fist more strongly around his wand.

Simon Snow never stops driving me fucking crazy.




There are definitely some things people don’t tell you about sharing a room with the chosen one.

One of them is how once he’s put something on his mind, he’ll never drop it. Crowley, Snow might have won an award for most stubborn person ever if it existed (I’m convinced they should create one just for him at this point). He’s incredibly persistent about his moronic ideas, like his obsession with keeping the windows open. No matter how many times I close them, he’ll open them back up. I suspect he’s doing it out of principle at this point, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it.

There’s an infinite number of frustrating things about living with Snow (besides the irony of living with someone you’re supposed to kill, but instead stupidly caught feelings for) (I may be biased on that one though). From the pointless arguments to the loud nightmares he seems to have convinced himself I don’t know about (a good match to my own relentless night terrors). Or even the way he’s completely oblivious to every single redeeming quality I (debatably) possess. Or even the most cruel ones, like the way looks after he falls asleep, all soft angles and relaxed jaw. Or the unyielding sexual frustration of having him so close to the touch and so hopelessly unreachable.

Yet, no matter how bad those things are, they still feel like they’re almost worth the amount of private wanking I have to do in an attempt to get him off my mind (it never works) (why would it?) It still feels more than I deserve, to have him this close to me. It’s almost comforting (almost, when it isn’t absolutely infuriating).

The truly bad thing about sharing a room with the Chosen One that no one tells you about isn’t even the arguing and all the times he loses his patience and grabs me, manhandling me while I cooly remind him of the anathema. It isn’t even the fact that, while he does that, I just want to push him against the wall and kiss him hard.

The worst thing of all is when he just isn’t there. (and you don’t know where he is or what happened or if he’s safe.) (Why would you when he hates you?)

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5

A few days ago I said I am going to start conceptualizing a new virtual pet sim. I have been working madly between work to bring this concept to life. For now, I’m calling it Project Octavo! this name will definitely change at some point, as the game develops I’ll have a better ideas for the title. 

I wont go into specific details about the pets/creatures players will keep at this moment as things are still very early, but I want to share every step of the journey with you all and that’s exactly what imma do. 

Right now, I am trying to find a concrete art direction. Art direction, in my opinion - is one of, if not, the most important aspect of any game. I want to nail down specifics of the art before moving into other territory. The first two are experiments, backgrounds and illustration renders.

The second few are concept variants for the pets/creatures themselves. The sketches at the bottom might hint to my ideas for the sim, but again.. early days. I’ll keep posting more things as they come~

2

[ read on Ao3 ]

the earth watches the moon, but she’s looking at the stars; an ongoing fic by cirqueangelique (reaperangelique).

A life study of Austria, heart of an empire, and the kingdoms she loves; one she controlled, and one she never could.

This is a winding tale, PruAus and AusHun primarily with a FryingPangle bent, and many historical settings from the 1400s up to the Soviet bloc. Not a story so much as a study in relationships when you happen to go to war with your partners on a regular basis, told in era snippets.

  • Pairing(s): Pru/Aus; Aus/Hun; Fryingpangle in spirit; minor Spa/Aus and other pairings.
  • Rating: R-18 (prologue exempted)
  • Warnings: Explicit sexual content throughout, strong language, minor violent themes and historical drudgery. And relationship drama. Please see Ao3 for full content tags, but don’t worry, I’m a softy.
  • Status: Prologue published; (a lot) more on the way in as timely a fashion as I can manage.

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This is my baby. Prussia/nyo!Austria, nyo!Austria/nyo!Hungary. Other canon/Nyotalia characters cameo. I’ve been planning this fic for ages and, all going well, it’ll be the main axis of my Mars & Venus ‘verse. It’s also given certain pairings a new lease of life for me, and forced me to learn a whole lot about the specifics of many historical situations. Go on and give it a read ヽ(´∀`ヽ)

Your Name Kallura AU

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender

Pairing: Kallura

Word Count: 3113

Part One


           “Princess Allura, Princess Allura. Up goes the sun, a new day has begun! It is time to awake, Princess.”

           The first thing that Allura registered was that she was being gently shaken awake by her royal advisor, Coran. She struggled to free herself from sleep’s hazy clutches, but she couldn’t completely shake off the feeling that she was forgetting something.

           “I am awake, Coran,” Allura mumbled, as she rose from bed. She gave her royal advisor a smile. “Thank you for waking me, as always.”

           Coran gave her a funny look.

           “Not always, Princess,” Coran said as he twisted one end of his mustache. “Why, just yesterday you were already up before I entered the room! Gave me quite a scare, you did. Especially when you asked me questions of my identity and our whereabouts. You were a bit aggressive, like an angry Klanmurl mother asking for her kidnapped cubs!”

           “I did what?!” Allura asked in disbelief. That was quite disturbing to hear, especially when she had no recollection of it at all.

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My mom about the DNA MV:

- before I even started the video she laughed her ass off about the title ‘DNA’ ( I have no idea why and she just kept laughing and slapping her knee .. like ???)


- in the end she really enjoyed the 'DNA move’


- *sees Jungkook* oh wow 😳


- *sees Taehyung* ohh his looks are really unique but so handsome


- *sees Hobi* well you know what ?!?!?! they’re all fucking beautiful


- she wanted to stop watching the video because she thought they were all so handsome and she needed a break from this masterpiece and I should ask in a hour again


- I didn’t complain because same mom. Same.

Ok I got this dumb idea while thinking about Gold’s title as the “Breeder” and baby Pokemon and babies came to mind so I did this… 

I know a lot of people depict Gold as completely reckless (which he is mostly) but I think he’d be great with kids.. ya. Tbh I can totally see Gold doing this HAHAHA

Also here’s a bonus thingy

…I also need more mangaquestshipping in my life ok

Kristanna Week 2017

10/3 - What I Know About Love

A little late, but here we go. I was waiting in queque to get to the doctor, and there were spare magazines. This page’s title says, Listen to the music in Forest Theatre, and this idea came to my mind, since What I Know About Love is a title of Broadway song? So Kristoff’s playing guitar for Anna, and she has kind of forest-ish dress?

It’s very quick, done with the tools that I had with me - color pens.

Of Souls and Art

Summary: Soulmates are connected through what they write on their hands, and Phil’s soulmate does more than just write; they draw the most beautiful things Phil’s ever seen.
He is the only person with a soulmate that he knows, so how will he find his one and only?

Author’s Notes: This is a soulmate au I have been working on for a while because I absolutely love soulmate aus!
I can write more if wanted?
A huge thanks to my amazing beta @diamond0604! I couldn’t do it without her so thanks for putting up with my endless questions!!
I hope you enjoy!!

Also an extra thanks to my friends who I bugged about title ideas and summaries!
Thank you for putting up with me you guys are amazing!

AO3 Link

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What’s a title? I don’t do titles.

So @bitsfordays was talking about their ideas for a Nurseydex child and I Immediately fell in love with Addison Rihannon Poindexter-Nurse (there’s a Cameron in there too I’m not sure if it’s before or after Rihannon). I’m gonna write something for Bella (the Zimbits child) too but right now?? Addy has my full attention.


There were two things that William J. Poindexter knew for a fact.

The first being that his friend Jack Zimmermann should’ve gone first in the draft in 2009. If you tried to argue that against him he would fight you down on it with stats and projections for Jack’s career at the time. He respected that Jack chose college instead and felt like his time with Jack in the NCAA was invaluable now that he played in the NHL (occasionally against Jack for a couple years before he retired).

The second thing was that hockey was one of the most dangerous sports in history. Will knew this because he played the damn sport. So, of course, he was very familiar with what it entailed and the many different injuries that could come from it. (He remembered his first concussion pretty well; you don’t exactly forget getting checked into the ice that hard.)

So when Addison decided she wanted to be just like her daddy and play hockey, Will was pretty determined when he said no. And then Addison had pouted her lip at him and the tears started welling up in her pretty eyes and she was gonna cry, oh fuck, she was really gonna be upset over this. He tried to stay firm but then she had gone running to Derek, crying really badly and Will found himself calling his GM to find out if they were doing youth hockey at the rink.

Will already knew what the conversation topic of the night would be when Derek laid Addison down for bed.

“I already called. It’s still early enough in the season that she can play on the team, but…” Will sighed.

Derek was smiling at him, his current read closed on his lap. “She was really upset today when you said no.”

You know how dangerous hockey is. I know how dangerous hockey is. I don’t want her to get hurt too bad.” Will put his head in his hands. “But then she started crying…”

“Mhmm. And Daddy pulled out his phone to make sure his princess could play,” Derek laughed. He opened his book and flipped to where he had left off. “She’ll be fine. We played hockey in college and you play hockey now. I don’t think it ever hurt us that bad.”

Will gave his husband the most deadpan look he could muster. Derek glanced over at him and burst into another fit of laughter. Will could hardly keep up the expression when Derek laughed like that, and found a smile pulling at his lips as he leaned over to plant a kiss on Derek’s own.

“Okay, so she’ll get a couple bruises and scratches,” Derek admitted when Will was done kissing him, “You know Addy’s got no problem telling us when she doesn’t want to do something.”

Thoughts of bath time after outside time came to both of their minds and Will nodded his agreement. If Addison didn’t like something, she was very vocal about it.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Will agreed. “I’m still pretty against it, though.”

Derek snorted. “Of course you are.”

“She can only play at our rink. And I’m gonna ask around tomorrow and maybe see a game or two before I decide she can actually play.”

“Whatever makes you happy, Dex.” Will smiled at the old nickname. It was still a comfort to hear, even after all these years.

“G’night, Der.”

“Night, Will.”

Ideas - Niall/Pyrocynical x Reader

A/N: I wrote this a little while ago, I’m pretty sure it was the first Pyro related thing I ever wrote that wasn’t a joke :3 Also I had no idea what to call it so sorry about the title. I hope you enjoy it! ~ Admin Sunny

After a short visit to a friend, you came home to find Niall sitting at the computer watching some kind of terrible rap between two man-children. He look very immersed in the video, elbows on the computer desk and cheeks in his palms. You tiptoed quickly and sat down next to him. He either didn’t notice you, or was ignoring you. You decided to find out by poking him in his shoulder, causing him to fall off the chair in surprise.

“Oh god, (Y/N). I think you just scarred the last remaining bit of my soul out my body.” He remarked.

You giggled and helped him up, feeling his warm, soft hand touch your cold, stiff one. Niall frowned.

“You’re really cold (Y/N). Sit down and watch some cancer with me.” He smiled.

You sat side-on in his lap, pressing your freezing body against his rather heated one. You cuddled into his side and turned your head around to continue watching whatever he was.

“Now you see this video is great, it has gigantic man-children in it having a rap battle about horror movies or something, I don’t know. Not to mention the fact the one of them has a minecraft sword in his hand, but that’s about it. I can’t really say a lot about the video because honestly their rapping is just really mediocre.” Niall explained.
“You forgot to mention the fact that there’s a my little pony doll collection in the background of the bedroom they’re filming in. And that guy’s man-bun is so tight you can see the shape of the skull through his skin.” You added.
Niall laughed. “You’re really good (Y/N), I’ve got to write that down.”

You smiled and continued to watch and absorb his heat. The two of you watched a few other videos, and you continued with adding from what Niall had said. Once he’d picked out his video and you’d helped him figure out most of what he was going to say, you left him be to record while you went and go a snack.

“Hey (Y/N)?” Niall called out.
“Hm?” You replied.
“Er, could you come here for a minuet?” He asked.
“Of course I can.” You said.

Once you were in the room with him he looked and you and his eyes instantly lit up, yours automatically doing the same in return.

“What’s up?” You asked.
“Did you uh, did you want to be in this video? I can’t just take all the credit for those things you said, I want everyone to know they came from you.” Niall answered shyly, rubbing the back of his neck slightly.

You didn’t want to say no to him, but you were worried about his fans. You didn’t feel ready to let them know who you were, even though there was a bit of speculation after one of Roman’s fuck ups in one of the CS:GO montages, that he stupidly included in. You were extremely shy about it all.

“I don’t know.” You said quietly.
“Look, I know you’re worried about what they’ll think but you shouldn’t. You’re fucking funny (Y/N), and if they take time to listen to you, they’ll love you. Any ‘fan’ that doesn’t respect you is no fan of mine,” Niall pulled you in for a hug. “I understand if you don’t want to be in it, but I’d enjoy recording it a lot more if you were.”

You felt really touched by his words, and therefor agreed. He seamed really, really happy about it and hugged you again.

“Thank you so much (Y/N), this will be brilliant.”
You grinned and sat next to him, re going over what you had suggested so you could now say it for yourself.

Once Niall had finished editing the video, you finally got to see what he’s done with it. He refused to let you see it until it was fully uploaded, so you tried your best to wait patiently for what seamed like for ever. You scooted over next to him, only to have him pick you up out of the chair and sit your looking straightforward on his lap.

'Cringey Man-Child Rap Battle (feat. My Girlfriend)’

He let you do the honours of pressing the play button. You happily watched while his arms were wrapped around your waist and his head rested on your shoulder. He kissed your cheek and buried his head into the back of your shoulder as the video started, a bit worried about what you’d think of it.

“Today I’d like to introduce all to the writer of about 95% of my dialog in my videos, that would be my girlfriend, (Y/N).”

You grinned after watching through the whole video and turned around to give Niall a deep kiss. He smiled, a little surprised by the gesture.

“Thanks for upping my confidence a bit,” You smiled. “Never thought I’d do that in a million years.”
Niall delicately placed his hand on your cheek and kissed you once more. “It’s alright.”

You had a pretty good night after that, listening to Niall already pitch in future video ideas staring you. You rolled your eyes.

“Calm down, I just made my debut..” You laughed.
“I can’t help it, Jesus. Filming and editing hasn’t been that fun in ages.” Niall looked down, and then looked back up at you. “I love doing things with you, just anything. Because I love you.”
“I love you too.” You placed a kiss on his forehead and laid his head down in your lap for a calm night of movie watching.

Sentence Meme; Garth Nix’s Sabriel
  • “One of unusual calling, but unskilled.”
  • “Death and what comes after it is no great mystery.”
  • “Don’t do anything for a moment. I will speak to it.”
  • “What do you think you’re doing? You can’t loiter here!”
  • “Do you know my father? He used to visit me here.”
  • “I’m glad you understand. I still don’t.”
  • “I may be less honored and more reviled as a messenger of ill omen.”
  • “How long til the bindings fail?”
  • “You don’t seem disturbed by your lack of directions.”
  • “I don’t feel young anymore.”
  • “Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?”
  • “Perhaps they’ll know you from your sword?”
  • “Do not tarry, do not stop, no matter what happens.”
  • “Do you think that will get through?”
  • “About time you got here.”
  • “You are only wishing that he lives.”
  • “I see you have found that book.”
  • “I know the way, so I’d better come with you.”
  • “So you are the victim of some spell.”
  • “A kiss. Actually, just a breath would do. But you have to start kissing someone sometime, I suppose.”
  • “Cleanliness is a wonderful thing.”
  • “You do remember what you’ve done?”
  • “Get dressed, for a start.”
  • “Just do as you’re told.”
  • “Have you got any ideas about how to open this door?”
  • “What’s the village leader’s title - usually, I mean? What are they called?”
  • “The sea washes all things clear, for a time.”
  • “I just thought that you might like to know that their room is that way.”
  • “Put your sword away and give me your hand.”
  • “Hush, we have no time for tears.”
  • “He always was flamboyant.”
  • “Why are we running?”
  • “Do you always know what’s going to happen?”
  • “Halt! You are my prisoners!”
  • “”Are you coming with us?”
  • “Be inside by nightfall. Lock all the doors and windows.Deny entry to strangers. Shed light inside and out.”
  • “I wish _____ was here. He’d think of something.”
  • “The fog is almost at the gates.”
  • “The blood price must be paid.”
  • “This is not their path.”
  • “I should have remembered you were a troublesome brat.”
  • “Will you sleep, unknowing, or will you go waking, every step of the way?”

phoenix-173  asked:

Title: How to date a Succubus.

How to Date a Succubus:  You learn to be great at sharing

Steve loved his girlfriend.  He really did.  But she had a sort of…thing.  Where she sucked the life force out of him during intercourse.

It usually just tickled, but he did notice that after an absence, she seemed to really take him for everything he was worth…and he was worth quite a bit, thanks to the super serum.

Thankfully, he has other serum enhanced individuals in his life who are willing to help sweet, succubus Darcy out.    And he really can’t say that he minds one bit.  

A Different Kind of Healing (Hound x reader)

Originally posted by iheartgot

“This is the final step.” Your mother wiped her hands on apron, turning to you with a somber expression. “You wanted to be a healer. So heal.”

You thrust a hand in the direction of your quarters. “My bed, mother? Where will I sleep?”

She pushed out a heavy sigh and shook her head. “Giving your bed to your first real patient injured symbolizes you putting the needs of others ahead of your own. As for where you’ll sleep,” She turned back to the medical supplies around her, “That’s for you to determine.”

Still reeling with anger you trudged from the infirmary. You’d been training into your adulthood for this. To be someone who could help others. When your mother left to join the Quiet Isle, so did you. You were well into marrying age, but the idea of nancing around in dresses without a clue to the suffering of others wasn’t you.

At the door to your room you took a deep breath and flattened your apron before going in. It was a well lit room, sun cascading every which way. Yet it stunk of rotten flesh.

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