no i don't have better things to do

(long post, sorry)

In spite of everything I love Harley Quinn but, damn, writers treat her so badly. I swear, the temptation to make her actually stupid must be terrible because it’s so often implied, or explicitly stated, that she slept her way through school. First of all, it does not work like that.  Second, she’s not a therapist or a psychologist, she’s a psychiatrist, she’s a fricking MD and a damn young one too. Managing pre-med and collegiate gymnastics that she relied on to keep her scholarship? Harley is fucked up, but she’s not the dumb blonde she plays. (also stop making her stacked, she’s a gymnast. she is 4’11” of pure muscle and is not top heavy)

If you want a good Harley backstory it’s simple. She’s ADHD but medicated and slightly robotic because of it. I want to take special care not to demonize meds but, rather, people’s disapproval of neurodivergence and a lack of focus on what is best for a patient rather than what is most convenient for others. So, maybe, around ten years old Harley is a hyperactive space cadet who’s brilliant at tests but sloppy at coursework, who would be a gymnastics prodigy if she could actually focus on technique and put in practice time instead of fooling around. Then the meds come and it’s actually really cool because she can do the things she needs to do instead of just wanting to do them, doing something else entirely, and getting in trouble. People are proud of her, she’s proud of herself. But now there are expectations. Family and teachers and coaches overschedule her, find worth only in her success and don’t care about her mental health at all as long as she’s performing and castigate her when she does fail. Fuck if you don’t internalize that. But she doesn’t look unhealthy and she’s doing amazing. She actually has to choose between the Olympic trials and continuing her grad studies. She probably has some issues with self-harm but it either doesn’t look like self-harm or is well covered up. 

When Arkham accepts her, fresh from her residency, it’s not a mistake. The woman is amazing. All they can see is a mountain of achievements rather than the seething ball of nerves, self-loathing, and imposter syndrome boiling just under the surface. That’s when Joker comes in. He’s got the Hannibal Lecter shtick down. Where everyone else sees an intelligent driven young woman he sees a frightened overwhelmed girl who is working her hardest to convince the world she’s anyone other than herself. Sending her into a nervous breakdown would be too easy so he doesn’t even bother. Instead he’s open with her, almost friendly. The other doctors are amazed, Harley is amazed, she’s not done anything particularly revolutionary but, for the first time in forever, it looks like the clown prince of crime is showing progress. He unravels her and it’s a challenge, she flinches back and gets very serious when he comes too close to the real Harley under the professional. Still, soon she’s questioning everything. She doesn’t even really like her co-workers. She hasn’t had a real friend in years. She’s forgotten how to have fun. Did she ever want this to be her life or did she just do it for other people? It starts so slowly that it looks, at first, like she’s getting better at self-care. Maybe something totally silly one weekend, a trampoline park where she can enjoy the way her toned body moves without stressing out over landings, a face painting booth at a street fair, some garishly colored downright tacky decoration that clashes with her sensible apartment. Suddenly she realizes how much she hates knowing the difference between cream and ecru. The beigeness of her life is repulsive. She hates the person she’s pretending to be even more that she hates herself which is really saying something.

After her weekend of freedom she would have called in sick if it wasn’t so suddenly important to see him. The relief she feels at talking to one of Gotham’s most infamous supercriminals is disturbing but it is relief and she’s been swallowing a slow-motion panic attack for hours. She admits, though she shouldn’t, that she took his advice about doing something fun and he teases her, what would straight-laced Doctor Quinzel do for fun? Did she realphabetize her sock drawer or buy a new clipboard? It’s not important to impress him, it’s really not. He’s dangerous, cruel, and he looks so proud when she admits that she bought a lamp shaped like a lawn flamingo. The only mistake, he says, is that she should have stolen it. She hopes the wicked thrill it gives her doesn’t show on her face. It does. She almost even laughs. He likes it when he can make her laugh and she likes it when he likes things.

It’s wrong and unprofessional, the relationship she develops, and she knows it but her whole life she’s been so high strung. Nothing she’s done has been for her, she’s not sure she knows how to really do selfish things anymore, but he knows the selfish things she needs to do. It feels good when she follows his advice even when it’s small things like the rainbow striped socks she wears concealed under her very bland slacks and sensible shoes. She’s so happy, almost giddy, and he loves her happiness, he loves her, he loves the real her that she’s had to beat down and hide for so long, the her that even she isn’t able to love. She is able to love him, though, and since he loves her she’s able to love herself for him, to protect and nurture something so important to him.

When the choice comes between her old self, the tedious endless labor of making the world proud, and Him, the spectacular man that brought color into her life, it’s not even a question. She kills Doctor Harleen Quinzel, she throws away the version of her that let herself burn just for medals and hollow accolades. She embraces Harley Quinn and it’s so much a part of her nature she can’t even see that she’s still living her life for someone else’s approval, except this time that person is a murderous clown. She hasn’t let her hair down, she’s just put it in pigtails instead of a bun.

Happy New Year everyone!!
Let’s make this a good year! I’ll try too!

Altruis, suffering: *sigh* “At least substitute apple slices for fries.”

Literally everyone else: “F*** off, Altruis.”

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up

My Chemical Romance Asks
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b></b> I brought you my bullets, You brought me your love<p/><b>Romance:</b> Who was your first love?<p/><b>Honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us:</b> Is there a side of yourself that no one knows about?<p/><b>Vampires will never hurt you:</b> Vampires or angry men?<p/><b>Drowning Lessons:</b> Plan on getting married?<p/><b>Our Lady of Sorrows:</b> Are you religious?<p/><b>Headfirst for Halos:</b> Are you hopeful? If so, what for?<p/><b>Skylines and Turnstiles:</b> An important event that changed your life or perspective?<p/><b>Early Sunsets Over Monroeville:</b> What's your favorite horror movie?<p/><b>This Is the Best Day Ever:</b> Ever been to the hospital?<p/><b>Cubicles:</b> Where would you be without My Chem?<p/><b>Demolition Lovers:</b> Would you die for your current lover?<p/><b></b> Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge<p/><b>Helena:</b> Have you lost a family member or friend?<p/><b>Give 'Em Hell, Kid:</b> Have you ever considered committing murder?<p/><b>To The End:</b> Corpse Bride. Yay or nay?<p/><b>You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison:</b> Ever committed a crime?<p/><b>I'm Not Okay (I Promise):</b> Ever felt out of place?<p/><b>The Ghost of You:</b> Ever cried while watching a movie?<p/><b>The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You:</b> Ever been cheated on or have cheated?<p/><b>Interlude:</b> Favorite My Chem song?<p/><b>Thank You for the Venom:</b> Ever wrote something stupid on a t-shirt?<p/><b>Hang 'Em High:</b> Ever shot a gun?<p/><b>It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Fucking Deathwish:</b> Who's your best friend?<p/><b>Cemetery Drive:</b> What's the hardest drive you've experienced?<p/><b></b> The Black Parade<p/><b>The End:</b> Ever thought it'd be the end for you?<p/><b>Dead!:</b> Ever wanted to die?<p/><b>This Is How I Disappear:</b> Ever done something to someone that you can't forgive yourself for?<p/><b>The Sharpest Lives:</b> Are you anxious?<p/><b>Welcome to the Black Parade:</b> What's your favorite memory?<p/><b>I Don't Love You:</b> Have you ever stopped loving them?<p/><b>House of Wolves:</b> What is your favorite era?<p/><b>Cancer:</b> Old or new?<p/><b>Mama:</b> Ever disappointed your parents?<p/><b>Sleep:</b> Any bad dreams?<p/><b>Teenagers:</b> Are you scared of people your own age?<p/><b>Disenchanted:</b> What changed your life for the better?<p/><b>Famous Last Words:</b> What changed your mind about things?<p/><b>Blood:</b> Any hidden secrets no one knows?<p/><b>Danger Days:</b> The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys<p/><b>Look Alive, Sunshine:</b> What time do you wake up?<p/><b>Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na):</b> What gives you strength?<p/><b>Bulletproof Heart:</b> Do you miss anyone right now?<p/><b>SING:</b> Who is your idol?<p/><b>Planetary (GO!):</b> Biggest accomplishment?<p/><b>The Only Hope for Me Is:</b> Do you consider yourself hopeless?<p/><b>Jet Star and The Kobra Kid/Traffic Report:</b> What's your favorite go-to outfit?<p/><b>Party Poison:</b> Do you speak different languages?<p/><b>Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back:</b> What is your biggest wish?<p/><b>S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W:</b> Biggest regrets?<p/><b>Summertime:</b> Who's got you excited for the summer?<p/><b>DESTROYA:</b> If you could save anyone in the world from danger/poverty/war/etc. Who would it be?<p/><b>The Kids From Yesterday:</b> What do you wish you could tell your past self?<p/><b>Goodnite, Dr. Death:</b> Opinions on standing for the National Anthem?<p/><b>Vampire Money:</b> What is your catchphrase irl?<p/></p><p/><
STOP WITH WHAT YOU’RE DOING!!

AND LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF BOB ROSS HOLDING A BABY RACCOON

you may continue with your day

4

Captain Niall Horan, and his ships.

9

They sealed the monsters underground with a magic spell.

Many years later…

Aaand new part for Chara Origins comic! Well, at last Chara actually makes it to the mountain…perhaps things will get better? Well, hopefully so…

Next part will be along whenever I finish it! Only 1-2 parts left, depends on how long they are.

Dogs of Future Past Masterpost

Previous Part | Next Part

anonymous asked:

What's your stance on the drama surrounding Thomas sanders?

There’s drama surrounding Thomas Sanders? If there is that’s the first I’ve heard of it. One sec….

Okay apparently people are on him because he includes ace/aro people in the LGBTQIA+ community? And that’s a sin? Okay… I read his response on that and I thought it was amazing and even eye opening. “They’re not LGBT. They’re ‘A’” What’s wrong with making a little more room at the table for people with marginalized identities? It’s not like the queer community is an exclusive club. We’re all supposed to be there for each other. Even if you disagree on this…so?? Is that really a valid reason to hate a person?

And…he reblogged nsfw artwork he didn’t know was made by a minor and apologized for it. Cool. Good on him. He’s a human and everyone makes slip-ups. I swear I can’t stand the callout culture on this site. Stop treating mistakes by well-intentioned people like irredeemable character flaws. Stop it. If you’re a bitter person you can always find a reason to hate someone. But that reflects negatively on you, not them.

Thomas always tries his hardest to do the right thing and be as inclusive and understanding as possible. I hate how the internet tries so hard to completely demonize well-intentioned people over disagreements and/or honest slip-ups. He’s one of the kindest people I know and he does a heck of a better job than I do at being an all-around inclusive sweetheart who responds kindly to all kinds of hate and slander. I support him completely.

Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.
5

My rendition of this fic by @destieldrabblesdaily.

You should also definitely click to have better quality.

the foxes as anna kendrick's tweets
  • aaron: my life would be so much easier if it wasn't for that thing... God, what is that thing called... other people
  • neil: i woke up just before winning the argument in my dream. Fuck this day.
  • andrew: those discover cards ads that say "we treat you like you'd treat you" don't really work cause I feel like I'd treat me like a real dick
  • allison: is there a filter on instagram that fixes Bitchy Resting Face? asking for a friend
  • nicky: my patronus is a corgi
  • kevin: "you're the only person in the world I don't hate right now" is as close as I get to saying "I love you"
  • seth: If I die unexpectedly can everyone just do the right thing and pretend I was a way better person than I am?
  • renee: i'm the person who wouldn't send back my food even if I got steak when I'd ordered fish
  • dan: if i were a contestant on the bachelor i'd just end up falling in love with the weird sound guy and making things uncomfortable for everyone
  • matt: dudes i waited til i was home to tweet. i don't tweet and drive. i'll have you know i'm always too busy singing along to embarrasing music

anonymous asked:

I have a theory that whenever people are around Jensen and misha together…they treat them like they’re, together. Like they’re a couple. I’ve seen the spn cast sort of give them space and let them do their own thing… many times you’ll see jensen and misha being far away but somehow something accommodates them and they’re able to be close to each other. I definitely get this vibe from the spn cast that Jensen and Misha, whenever together, are like, a Thing, like a unit. Idk how to explain better

the 99 squad as john mulaney quotes
  • Jake Peralta: I have had a very long day. I am very small... and I have no money... so you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
  • Amy Santiago: Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank you that's my favorite part too." But no, in order for it to be authentic hopefully you have jokes that everyone can just get on board with and then you have a few things for yourself.
  • Charles Boyle: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
  • Rosa Diaz: Some babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all.
  • Raymond Holt: When I was a little boy, I was more like a 67-year-old gay man that's kind of over it sexually.
  • Terry Jeffords: Everyone get out of my way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds.
  • Gina Linetti: I look like I was just sitting in a room in a chair eating saltines for like, 28 years, and then I walked right out here.
  • Kevin Cozner: I'll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.
  • Cheddar: Why do people shush animals? They've never spoken.
the signs according to ME, based on what I've absorbed from tumblr even though I don't pay attention to 75% of the zodiac and might not be able to even name them all from memory
  • aries: PISSED OFF ANGRY FILLED WITH RAGE AND ANGER AND IS ALSO MAD
  • taurus: the impression I get is they're similar to aries in that they’re angry and stubborn? but the difference is that while aries will clock you in the jaw, taurus will hold a grudge for the rest of your born days. your born days, not theirs, because they’re going to outlive you out of spite
  • gemini: is what I think comes next? anyway apparently geminis are very social and bubbly and they're people persons (people people?), but also they’re supposed to be all two-faced and gossipy, because twins. which is very mean to say about twins.
  • cancer: no offense to anyone who is a cancer, but my Least Favorite Human that I've ever met is a cancer, so my perception is tainted. cancers cry a lot. all the time. about everything.
  • leo: you know, I honestly don't know what is associated with leo, besides... lion. so therefore, leos are brave. you might belong in august, where dwell the brave of heart. their daring, nerve, and chivalry set leos apart. congrats you're gryffindor now
  • virgo: or is it libra comes first? I think it's virgo. um, anyway, virgo is my moon sign. I respect virgo. the general sense I get is that they're very... anal and particular and organized? their lists are color-coded and have subheadings?
  • libra: or possibly virgo, depending on whether or not I switched the order. BUT YEAH SO, LIBRA, SCALES. ALL ABOUT THAT FAIRNESS AND JUSTICE. common room is next to the kitchen.
  • scorpio: uuuuuuuGHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO FED UPPPPPPP I am a scorpio but I don't WANNA BE a scorpio I'm so TIRED of everything being nothing but femme fatale tropes and byronic hero nonsense I'M NOT MYSTERIOUS!!! are people even mysterious in real life? also please stop talking about how sexually charged and passionate I am. please don't do this. you're making this uncomfortable for everyone and I wanna exchange my sign for something else
  • sagittarius: the sense I get is that sagittarius is best personified by a weird kid at summer camp who hardcore believes in aliens and whose knees are full of band-aids
  • capricorn: does capricorn come next? I don't honestly even know. I don't know anything about capricorns. they're represented by a goat though, so that automatically makes them better than every other sign. A MERMAID GOAT, NO LESS. listen, idk what capricorns are like, but I'm trading my star sign. I WANNA BE A MERMAID GOAT. I WANNA BE A MERMAID GOAT MORE THAN ANYTHING.
  • aquarius: the only thing I know about aquarius is that song in Hair
  • pisces: fish. has lots of emotions, but is pretty chill and creative? bunks with sagittarius at summer camp, but personally prefers cryptids to aliens

anonymous asked:

Hi! You seem to have become a sort of dinner consultant/therapist/cheerleader, which is delightful. I hope you don't mind if I ask a downer question--how do I will myself to make good food when I'm depressed, and feel deep down that I may not deserve proper nourishment? Than you, you're well.

I suffer from Depression, Bipolar, C-PTSD, ADHD and Memory Issues and yeah, I really get that feeling of not having the energy/focus/self-worth to make dinner.  I’m not a therapist or nutritionist, so all I can offer is things that have worked for me, and hope that some of them work for you:

It’s Better To Eat SOMETHING Than Nothing

No really.  There are a LOT of days when I’m too tired, too distractable or just too Blugh to cook.  And for days like that, I have microwave meals, or “put in pot and add water” things, like Mac N Cheese.  They’re not Organic, or Nutritionally Balanced but everything I’ve been told by every doctor and therapist I’ve had: EATING SOMETHING, EVEN MICROWAVE MAC OR CHIPS IS SO, SO MUCH BETTER FOR YOU THAN EATING NOTHING.

Food is not an all-or-nothing deal.  Humans have an amazing ability to take in nutrition from darn near anything that doesn’t kill us, which is part of the reason we’re all over the dang planet.  Any food is good food, esp when you haven’t eaten all day because your brain has been playing a shitty surrealist version of reality for you all day.

So when you CAN cook, cook, but if you can’t, don’t worry too much.  Just get something down your throat, and live to see the next, better, day.

Related: If you can’t do a full meal, but you CAN add *extras* to things to help you.  Tortilla Chips Depression meal? Add Salsa!  BAM! VEGETABLE SERVING!!  Can of beans? CHEESE.  OH LOOK, MORE PROTEIN.  whatever you can add is like, extra credit.  Good job you!

Actually Learning To Cook

So actually learning about food safety, spice theory, what happens chemically to food when you cook it and how to make different styles of cuisine confers a whole bunch of cool benefits for my sometimes-garbage brain:

  • I really like reading and learning new stuff, so making it a “learning a new thing” makes it less like a chore and more of an Interesting Distraction.
  • This doesn’t have to be any form of academically rigorous.  Like, watching cooking shows, looking up stuff online, or hell, googling stuff in the middle of the supermarket if something is on sale and you’re curious but don’t actually know what to do with it.   Good Eats and America’s Test Kitchen are both very educational and soothing to watch.
  • Also cooking shows are GREAT for both my anxiety and stimulating my appetite
  • Reduces the number of Thinking Spoons to actually make dinner.  If I have a general working knowledge of what things taste good and how to make them, it’s a lot less effort than trying to look up and follow a recipe.
  •   GO AHEAD AND USE SHORTCUTS.  No, really.  Those frozen cutlets of fish you stick in a toaster oven? GREAT.  pre-mixed seasoning? AWESOME. Frozen veggies are already cut up and are just as good as fresh.  Like if you don’t have the energy to do something, pre-made stuff is FANTASTIC for getting something healthy into your system for honestly not that much money or less in some cases.

Being Responsible For More Than Myself

The thing that has helped me take care of myself was getting engaged and a dog.  My mental illness has a neat shortcut where when I can’t do things for myself, I can magically do them for other people.  When I cook, I’m cooking for both myself and for my fiance.  Being responsible for making sure he eats a few nights a week is the biggest driving force in getting me to stay on enough of a schedule that I’ll be capable of cooking.  (He cooks other nights and whoever cooks, the other does the dishes.)

I realize that getting hitched is not in the cards for everyone and that’s hardly a reflection of one’s worth, but there are ways to add responsibility to your life if that helps with executive function.  Prior to meeting my fiance, My family had an elderly German shepherd with a sensitive stomach and I cooked him chicken and rice every night for three years on the vet’s recommendation.  Or maybe you cook for a neighbor once a week.  Or tie feeding your cat to you having dinner as well, becuase you can’t take care of fluffy if you’ve got low blood sugar, right?

Eating Is Self-Care, Like Taking Meds or Wearing Comfy Jammies

Another thing that helped me: Realizing that eating made me feel better.  Literally, if I keep my blood sugar stable (Prone to hypoglycemia), my mood’s better, I get fewer headaches, and so on.  What’s Healthy is different for everyone and I recommend talking to a nutritionist at least once to get an idea on what might be unique to you.  Most gyms, community centers or clinics will have someone on staff to help, but you should start by asking your GP for a recommendation.

So when I start too feel poorly, my checklist is “When was the last time I ate? Am I craving something?”  (Along with “Am I dehydrated?”  staying hydrated also helps with appetite issues) and I fin that I usually am.  Sometimes it’s salt, sometimes it’s a whole head of broccoli.  Food is our body’s main means of getting what it needs to survive and giving your body what it needs (even if it’s fat and sugar and carbs, which yes, you need sometimes) will make you feel better, I promise.

Eating Stuff You Actually Like 

Bananas are, allegedly, really good for me.  Potassium, vitamins, good fats etc.   They also taste like satan’s own diabetic mucus and I’m never gonna eat one if I can’t help it.  Just, No.  Don’t force yourself to eat things just becuase they’re healthy.  That’ll only make you hate eating.

Like I mentioned before, you, presumed human, can draw nutrition and calories from darn near anything.  So go boldly, and try new foods and spices and cooking methods and find things you actually enjoy eating.

  • Remember all those veggies you hated as a kid?  Try them again as an adult, because your taste buds literally change over time and things taste way less bitter than when you were a kid.  Try different cooking methods too- anything brassica is like 500% better tossed with olive oil, salt &pepper and roasted on a sheet pan. 
  • HOW you cook things makes a huge difference in both how they taste and how stressful cooking is.  Wanna leave something in a crock pot and forget about it until the timer goes off? AWESOME. Grilling becuase  you prefer something more engaging becuase you’re bored? ALSO GREAT.  Try out different cooking methids to find out what tastes good and is fun to do,
  • Are you one of those people that likes, 3 things, and can have them every night for eternity?  GO YOU, with your pre-planned menu!  Maybe call up a nutritionist to see if you need to be taking some extra vitamins, but really, this is fine too,

Ok this has gotten a mile long and kind of rambling but I hope it helps you!