no i did not tear up at this scene

my mom's comments on every act 1 hamilton song
  • Alexander Hamilton: this is about Alexander Hamilton I'm guessing
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: Stay away from that Hercules boy (me: mom he died a long time ago) still
  • My Shot: is this a drinking song or a song about guns (me: both)
  • The Story of Tonight: they're drunk
  • The Schuyler Sisters: id hate to be Peggy
  • Farmer Refuted: sea furry has a good voice (me: thayne jasperson?) yeah that guy
  • You'll Be Back: he's acting like he and the colonies are a couple (me: that's the point) oh
  • Right Hand Man: is this Thomas Jefferson
  • A Winter's Ball: don't hang out with these boys
  • Helpless: this is cute aww
  • Satisfied: "you strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied" is this a sexual innuendo
  • The Story of Tonight Reprise: they're very drunk now
  • Wait For It: wow. (Me: yeah pretty much)
  • Stay Alive: wait so he's at war now? "Alexander you're the closest friend I've got" they are in like two scenes together why are they so close
  • Ten Duel Commandments: why are they fighting each other is this war
  • Meet Me Inside: he's mad
  • That Would Be Enough: "how long have you known" known what?? (Me: she's pregnant) she cheated on him????
  • Guns and Ships: he talks fast
  • History Has It's Eyes On You: intense
  • Yorktown: did they win? (Me: yeah) ok
  • What Comes Next: ok so they broke up now?
  • Dear Theodosia: *tears up* I wish I loved you that much
  • NonStop: why is he non stop now I thought that he was going to spend time with his son (me: john laurens died) so?
3

That’s a coin you’d give to the King of America himself. Not some pissant bastard like your piece of shit husband. Just give me my fucking coin back!

youtube

God I keep thinking about what it felt like watching this scene for the first time with my little brother.

I remember how he kept looking at me so hopefully, because at that time I had only recently just come out as a lesbian. He knew how much this meant to me, and how much this meant for other people like me, he didn’t even tease me that I kept tearing up for the rest of the episode.

Happy Second Anniversary Jailbreak!

Ink and Kisses

Anon said to moi:

“Omg i want a tattoo artist jungkook!!!!!! 😭😩 smut/fluff/and honestly anything!!!! I just love tattoos artists jungkook but there aren’t alot of those fanfic…. can u help a poor girl out ??💖”

FIRst time trying a Tattoo artist AU. I had to do some reading before this, and JK is sO sexy i s2g. Still weird that I don’t really ever feel like doing the do with him. HOPE YOU ENJOY <3 1,400 Words

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Tattooist au!

Part 1 | Part 2 (FINAL)

Originally posted by nnochu

No one would have ever imagined that hardcore badass Jeon Jungkook, the most well-known tattoo artist in the town, the guy who dropped out to follow his passion, was best friends with beautiful, sweet, top-scoring university student, Y/N. 

Physically, they seemed to be polar opposites. He had dragons inked onto his skin, three piercings on his left ear and two on his right, and always wore black; whilst you were a bright, clean slate – but you knew that was what he loved about you.

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5

“I messed up. I fucked it all the way up, I know that. But your heart ain’t gotta be black like mine, baby. I love you, Chiron. I do. I love you, baby. You ain’t gotta love me. Lord knows I did not have love for you when you needed it, I know that. So, you ain’t gotta love me. But you gonna know that I love you. You hear? You hear me, Chiron? I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Naomie Harris as Paula in Moonlight (2016) dir. Barry Jenkins

I would tear the sky apart, I reduce the entire solar system to a tiny cinder for anyone I love. If I was about to do that, if it got to that point of desperation then I would have one desire: someone would stop me.
— 

Twelfth Doctor 

In a deleted scene from Knock, Knock

He practically described what he did for Clara in Hell Bent, or at least just how far he was willing to go to save her. Clara did end up stopping him in the end due to his desperation, since he was willing to let the break the universe just to keep her alive and safe. 

Stay Away | Zach Dempsey x Reader (ft. Monty Dela Cruz)

Genre: Angst, Romance
POV: Reader’s/First Person
Warning: Containg swearing, violence and sexual harrasment!!

A/N: This was personally hard for me to write, but it was requested. It’s a bit heavy and it’s not the usual fluffy write-up you guys often get from me. Nonetheless, I will be posting a new fluff piece tomorrow, so stay tuned! Meanwhile, I hope you guys like this for now.

Request: Hai, I was wondering if you could do an imagine where Zach and his girlfriend (the reader) are hanging out and he despite her trying to hide them he sees a bunch of bruises on her and gets really worried and mad asking her what happened only for her to tell him that Montgomery had beat her up in a drunken state because she refused to sleep with him. This causes Zach to get mad and go beat him up and threatening him to never go near the reader again.

—–

Zach and I were watching TV when he suddenly said he was hungry. I pout at him and sigh as a response as I got up from the sofa and make my way to the kitchen to quickly cook something up. Zach was feeling a bit hungover after yesterday and he loved being treated like a baby whenever he was sick. I took out 2 bowls of instant ramen to satisfy his hunger.

I held onto the sleeves of my sweater while leaning on the kitchen counter as I waited for the water to boil. The incident from Jessica’s party last night replayed in my mind once again. Zach would flip if he knew and I didn’t want to ruin Zach and Monty’s friendship. Besides, Monty was just drunk, I think to myself, he was just intoxicated and didn’t know what he was doing. But it still wasn’t an excuse, I continue to think. The incident scared me, Monty, scared me.

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Favourite “pages” of Doukyuusei

I decided to share with you one of my most memorable pages from the doukyuusei series manga :) I absolutely love the whole manga nonetheless I consider some of pages my favourite because of that memorable situation happening there…

This post will be long I believe…

Doukyuusei

I love this page the most in first Doukyuusei manga…and I love situation here a little bit more than in a movie (I just didn’t say that righ now xD –> favourite scene in movie also) …I particularly like this one because of the Kusakabe reaction on drunk Sajou :) The whole situation is SO SERIOUS but drunk sajou made it THE CUTEST :D <3

I don’t know but this page is that one that I remebered the most. Maybe because Kusakabe mentioned dumb xD Here we see the different side of Kusakabe when he’s not with Sajou…like he’s thinking of that kind of stuff too..and asking sensei for advice..and mentionig the yaoi books that his sister reads,,all that in one page :P


Sotsugyousei

The whole page is filled with Sajou’s LOVE YOU…To see Sajou so in love is so precious. He never openly show it..but his is mind is exploding…

Just that situation…lying on bed…kusakabe just took shower…relaxed…kusakabe telling sajou the sweetest things :D <3

Don’t ask me..that scene is in my mind everytime when I think about Sajou being home alone xD I liked the smooth development situation…lying..making eye contact…slowly progressing to the kiss…KISS :*

I was Kusakabe here…I wanted to hug Sajou so badly… so glad Kusakabe did :) feeling glad…soo glad

Sajou my precious baby :’(

I had heart attack at this one…Sajou being so sexy and seductive :P <3 

My feeling are set on this one!!! This is the one when I get butterflies everytime I read it …IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL…sajou justt ahhh…and kusakabe tearing up :’( <3 <3


Occupation to Beloved

yes yes i know…the very first page of the manga…BUT C’MON…THE SAJOU’S FACE…MADE MY DAY AND NIGHT XD and sweetest Kusakabe surprising sajou :) 

Are there needed any words? Just cute Sajou sneaking in bed to Kusakabe and making my heart ache..:) <3

This page is just so precious to me…HUGGING each other…kusakabe caressing sajou’s cheak…making eye contact…kiss on eyelid..blushing faces :) <3 making love …I’m melting….

Sexy Sajou…..

I love the playful Kusakabe haha…this always make me laugh :D one of the cutest scenes :D 

This my kind of enjoying life…coffee time..My ideal relationship would be drinking coffee like that :D <3 after taking bath :) 

Kusakabe comforting Sajou…saying he loves him..holding him in his arms…kissing him on the check…:’( :’( <3 <3 where is my kusakabe? xD 

YES KUSAKABE…YOU CAN MAKE HIM HAPPY…AND EVERYONE ELSE..omg..<3 <3  :’( :’( don’t mind me..just crying in the corner…where is my kusakabe? i know i said that already but….


BONUS

We know that if one of our siblings found our yaoi books…IT WOULDN’T END WELL FOR THEM !!!!! XD :) thanks for reading…sooo longgg post omg 

allsterekloves  asked:

Would it be okay for me to request a story or a one shot? If so, I would like a bughead fic where Jughead is a single dad, trying to raise his daughter all on his own, but he takes her to daycare while he's working and it just so happens that Betty is the owner of that daycare please please please

I’ll give it a go thanks love!
*****

“Ella! Baby girl slow down! Daddy’s getting old and he can’t keep up with your youthful strides.” Jughead jones called out to his three year old daughter as she scurried past the cross walk, she had just learned to walk and she seemed to skip the in between stage heading straight for running, tugging free from his hand and scurrying towards the beautiful white building, yellow daisies planted all over the front property.

Ella jones was her fathers pride and joy, she was his entire reason for being, with her dirty blonde hair and stormy grey eyes she was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. People said she looked just like him despite the lightness of her hair he knew they were right, she was purely jones, he knew it was selfish but deep down he was eternally grateful for that.

Jessica Carpa, Jugheads ex girlfriend and the mother of his child, she was long gone, probably somewhere on a beach with a rich man who could afford her taste something Jughead had never been able to do. He could still see it clearly, the day he had come home from bringing Ella to visit F.p, she was only three weeks old when Jessica decided to pack her bags and leave them both.

“I can’t do this. I wasn’t cut out for this, motherhood is not for me. I’m not ready, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.”

Jughead had gently placed the baby in her bassinet before turning back to his neglectful, lazy, entitled girlfriend

“Damnit Jessica, do you think I was ready for this? We’re 22 years old, I don’t know how to be a father either!”

The dirty blonde was already at the door, hands twisting around the handle of her suitcase
“You’ll be a good father. It’s best if I go now, wouldn’t want to mess her up anymore.”
And then she was gone leaving Jughead a single father and a beautiful baby girl without a mother.

“Daddy! I can go in? Look! Babies!” Ella was staring through the glass windows at the open room filled with children her age.

The dark haired man smiled down at his excited toddler, gently nudging her with his knee as she barreled through the doors, she was so exited she didn’t see the pile of nascars on the floor, just as she was about to face plant a pair of slender tan arms caught her and held her up in the air.

She was beautiful, that was the only thing running through Jugheads mind. This absolutely beautiful woman who was holding his daughter like she had known her from birth was the most good looking human being Jughead had ever seen. She had long shiny blonde hair tucked into a ponytail, pieces falling in her emerald green eyes, she wore a pair of black leggings and a plain white t shirt, her smile was bright and real, perfectly straight teeth and dimples. Everything about her screamed warm and safe.

“Woah Nellie! What a great first introduction pretty lady, you’re a wild child, I love it! First rule of The Blue and Gold daycare? Always watch out for tommys stray trucks.” The beautiful blonde straightened out Ella’s bright pink tshirt and dropped her gently on the ground next to Jughead, when she looked up Jugheads eyes caught hers. Maybe he was wrong but he was fairly certain she was checking him out.

“Hi there! You must be this little ones Daddy. My names Betty Cooper, I own the Blue and Gold, it’s great to meet you both, we’re so happy to have you.”

Jughead brain finally caught up with his mouth and he stuck his hand out to shake hers

“ Jughead jones. Thankyou so much for giving us a spot, I know how tricky it is for parents to get their kids into your daycare. You’re ranked #3 out of the top daycares in New York.”

Betty smiled, shrugging her shoulders
“It’s just a title. I read your file, as soon as I saw that you were a single father i knew I had to find a space for you. My sister was a single mother, raised two twin boys all on her own. They’re ten now and they’re the greatest kids I’ve ever met.”

Jughead smiled, she really was something else.
“Yeah.. it’s been uh.. rewarding.”

With a gentle press of her palm to his shoulder he felt more electricity shoot through him than he had ever felt with Jessica
“But hard. It’s okay. As amazing as kids are I know as well as anyone every single one is a handful.”

Jughead slumped down, his gaze falling on Ella who was preoccupied with a pile of blocks, another little girl with bright red ribbons in her hair had joined her, he almost wished he’d brought his camera to Capture the moment, pulling his eyes back to Betty he sighed

“My buddy taught her the word hate a few weeks ago. Now all I hear is “I hate this and I I hate that.” It’s a process” Betty nodded knowingly

“Well if it counts for anything I think your doing a great job, look how well she shares, that’s very rare.”

Jughead couldn’t help the pride that surged through him at the sight.

“Pickup is at three, if for any reason you’re going to be late just give me a call and we can figure it out.” Betty smiled softly, her eyelashes fluttering almost…. flirtatiously

Jughead swallowed the lump in his throat

“Yeah.. umm yes we can.. figure it out.”

And just like that the moment was broken

“Great” Betty grinned “Okay Ella. Say bye to Daddy.”

The little girl nearly flung herself at her bent down father, pressing a slobbery kiss to his cheek.

“Love you Daddy.” She smiled her toothless smile.

“Love you more buttercup.” Jughead choked out, God he was crying. He just couldn’t believe how big she was getting. Ella toddled away to play with her friends and Jughead stood up wiping the tears from his cheeks, God he was crying in front of this beautiful woman.

Betty pressed a thumb to his cheek, wiping a stray drop of water

“I cried the first time too.” And then she was off leaving a very confused Jughead.

She never mentioned having children, just that her sister did, those words left a strange feeling in Jugheads stomach.

As he watched the beautiful blonde teacher pick up his daughter and swing her around his heart ached at the scene.

Ella needed a mom, someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved.

Maybe it was time for him to start dating again,

The only person who flew threw his mind was the woman in front of him, children surrounding her.

Oh god… he was in trouble.

The Styles Effect Pt. 1

Part Two

Requests Open

Warnings: Cursing, feelings, multiple parts (slowish burn)

Pairing: Reader x Harry(s)

Summary:

Y/n finds a notification on her phone asking to make a wish.

Little did she think that her wishing all her Harry fanfictions to come to life would actually come true, and the craziness it would bring.

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Yes or No? (Montgomery de la Cruz, 13 Reasons)

~To start off, this is the only thing I’ve written so far that I would even consider writing a part 2 for, if requested enough. This is a sad one lol. It also has a lot of Jeff in it. Thank you again for all of your support. Requests are open!!❤️~

Everyone was staring at you. You were the talk of the school. No matter what group, everyone knew what had happened to you. What had happened to your whole family. Everyone knew that you hadn’t been to school in almost a month. If it weren’t for your needing to be there for attendance, you probably would have stayed gone longer. Well, your parents were a factor too. You were heart broken and sad and confused. Everything imaginable. Your brother was dead. Jeff Atkins was dead.

You remembered that night like it was yesterday. You’d been at the same party as him. In fact, you were completely blasted. Your boyfriend, Montgomery De La Cruz was taking care of you as you blubbered about random things. Jeff had said he’d like to drop you off to your guys’ house while he was out on the beer run that he’d been asked to do. You’d refused, even after Jeff and Monty both persisted that you do so. So Jeff took off into the night. Little did you know, your drunken refusal would be your last interaction with your brother. And a mere hour and a half later you’d get a very frantic call from your mother. You, still out of it, were not comprehending the seriousness of the situation, forcing Monty to take your phone and work out what your mother was talking about. His teammate, and one of his best friends, had been in a fatal car accident. Without a word to anyone, he’d leapt up, throwing you over his shoulder, knowing he didn’t have time for your antics, and ran out to his car.

Five minutes later, you understood. No amount of drugs and alcohol could have ever kept you from noticing the body bag, and your mother hiding her face in your Father’s chest in sheer horror. Nothing was going to take away the fact that your brother was in the body bag, that he was dead.
You remembered screaming at the top of your lungs, eventually trying to run over to the paramedics that were tending to Jeff’s body. Monty stopped you, turning you back around and pulling you into him. You could feel his heart pounding. You kept demanding things, as if they could be done or changed. ‘Give him CPR’ you’d bellowed. ‘Wake him up.’

Monty refused to leave your side after that. His baseball coach had given him four games off without any grief. He felt the loss of Jeff too. Monty said he wanted to wait until you could handle yourself before he tried to go back to normal.

Your parents didn’t say anything when you refused the idea of Monty leaving your bed at night. In fact, Monty had spent every night with your emotionally drained body since the accident.

No one saw it coming, Montgomery caring about someone so much. Jeff had been suspicious of his motives when he’d first asked about you. But there was no mistaking the way his eyes lit up when he saw you in the stands at their games. Or the way he’d talk to himself, as though he was practicing what he was going to say to you. He liked you. And your lack of reluctance towards him scared not only Jeff, but your friends as well. He was, well he was a 'fuck boy’. It surprised everyone even more when he gave you a 'ring on a string’ for your six month anniversary, when the first I love you’s were said.

“Montgomery said he wished he could have walked you to class, Y/N.” Hannah’s voice shook you out of your daze. You nodded, she was right.

“I told him, baseball’s his future. If coach wants him to practice, he needs to.” You spoke in a hushed tone. A sharp contrast to your normally spunky, louder voice. But this was the voice you’d grown accustomed to. There was no reason to be so cheery or chirpy.

“You look nice in your dress.” Hannah continued. She was another person who’s sympathy you’d been receptive of. She seemed genuine, not nosy. You didn’t care what Monty had to say about how she 'got around’. She was a good person.

“Monty bought it for me last week.” You said. You could feel her wide smile on you.

“He takes good care of you, yeah?” She asked. You couldn’t help but smile, you liked the honest answer you were able to give.

“Yeah. I used to take care of him too.” Hannah stopped in the middle of the hallway, and turned you so you had to look at her.

“After everything, I’m sure he’s aware it’s his time to be caring for you, Y/N.” you nodded, not in the mood to wallow in your self pity aloud.

“See your knight in shining armor?” Hannah nudged you, gesturing for you to look forward. You looked up and saw Monty with his friend group. It was good to see him with them. He’d kind of wiped them out of his life to take care of you.

That didn’t stop him from perking up when he saw you walking down the hall. He smiled as he walked towards you. Hannah unlinked arms with you, as if her shift was over. There was a pregnant silence between Monty’s friends and Hannah. God, they were all judging her. And it clearly was making her uncomfortable.

“I’ll see you in gym, Y/N.” Hannah rubbed your shoulder softly before beginning to walk away.

“Stay?” You asked simply. Looking into her eyes. She paused, thinking about it for a moment.

“No, I think you’re in good hands now.” She smiled gently before walking away and out of the hallway.

“I don’t get why you like her so much.” Monty pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

“She’s a good person, Montgomery. You all are so mean sometimes.” You whispered.

“Hey Y/N, Monty just doesn’t want her influence around.” Marcus spoke up. You hadn’t seen him since Jeff’s funeral. He hadn’t said much to you. Then again, you two hadn’t ever said much to one another.

“Hey so we’re all gonna workout at the country club later today, you down?” Marcus asked Monty. Your boyfriend traced small circles on your back as you took in the group of people, arms crossed over your chest.

“Dinner with her family tonight, sorry.” Monty said in return. That hadn’t been officially planned, but he did have dinner with you and your parents most nights.

“You haven’t worked out with us in forever, man. It’s the only day that I can get all of you into the club at once.” Bryce continued to try and convince your boyfriend.

“My girl comes first, sorry.” Monty thought that was the end of the conversation

“She can come. You just said how she’s gained all this depression weight and it’s getting to be a problem and-” Bryce was going to talk further, but Monty lunged at him, making him fall to the ground before he could.

“If anything about her EVER leaves your mouth again I swear to God I’ll kill you.” He growled. You pulled Monty off of Bryce, tears already slipping down your cheeks.

“She just lost her damn brother, Jesus.” Jessica, who had been standing by her boyfriend, Justin had rushed to your side out of protectiveness.

“That’s not how it was I just-” you couldn’t even let him finish his excuse.

“Did those words leave your mouth?” You didn’t even look up at him. Jessica has wrapped her arms around you. The hall had gotten quieter. This had officially been made a scene after Monty lunged at Bryce.

“Look princess it didn’t-”

“Answer the question! Did you say my weight was a problem? Yes or No?” Your voice was raised and louder than it had been in a month.

“Yes, but it was just-” you shook your head, laughing to yourself.

“That’s all I needed to know. But, let me relieve you of this said problem.” You pulled your hair to one side. You unhooked the necklace you wore. The necklace that hadn’t left your neck in almost four months. His little promise 'ring on a string’ anniversary gift. When he wouldn’t take it back, you handed it to Zach.

“Make sure he takes this. It’s his decision what he wants to do with it. Maybe he was who every girl in this school warned me he was all along.” You said, turning in the other direction. Jessica followed you, wanting to show you support. Monty tried to walk after you. You had no idea what he was frantically saying. All you knew was that Jessica was yelling at him to get away and that you now felt officially alone in this world.

Murder at Stark Manor: Peter Parker X Reader

PART 1 of2

Midtown High Students have come to participate in Liz’s live action role play. The reader wants to confess her feelings for Peter but knows about his crush on Liz. No one actually dies, it’s ok :)

Word Count: 1.8k (OMG I’M SORRY T.T)

Peter Parker x Reader

Based on the board game Clue

Originally posted by she-is-beautifully-broken



It was the middle of the beautiful month of April, and around this time a grand party was about to be announced by the popular Liz Toomes. It was an annual gathering, only certain students were invited to partake in this year’s party. For it would be a party to die for.

“What do you think her party theme is this year?” Y/F/N Y/L/N asked her best friend as they walked through the crowded halls of Midtown High. Peter Parker looked down at her and shrugged, reaching his locker. Y/N picked at her army green sweater as she leaned against the locker next to Peter’s.  She took a moment to admire the spider boy, he was perfect, his hair, his body, even his fingers as they graced the lock.

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5x08 review Guillotines Decide

How do you start writing about Guillotines Decide.

Highly anticipated.Murderous.Bittersweet. Emotional.

Some people hated it.Some people got upset.The majority has mixed feelings.

Personally i loved it.

Way too many things happened in only 42 minutes.I felt the episode was 1 hour and a half, not 40+ minutes.All the major ob characters made an appearance and that was lovely. I’m happy to see another female writer getting to tell her story.After 5x05 ( Jenn Engels ) and 5x07( Renée St. Cyr ), 5x08 came with Aisha Porter-Christie .

We’re 2 episodes before the end and 5x08 needed to be the episode that bridges the conclusion of this story with what each character has accomplished so far. Episodes 9 & 10 are gonna be a 2 parter (Graeme confirmed) so Ep 8 was the prelude of the ending.

Guillotines Decide, was more than a farewell to an amazing character. It was an episode about family- the family you choose to be a part of. In the constant battle between  nature and nurture it’s our choices that define who we are and who we want  next to us.

That’s why if i had to pick one quote from this episode that ultimately defines the whole series,it would be this:

We are all mysterious works of chance, of choice, of nature vs. nurture. So, to my galaxy of women, thank you for the nurture.

Fee’s speech was everything.Full of love, support and generosity. His brush  always a doorway through  expression and musing.

Sarah

It was always about Sarah.His gallery-his own house- full of different versions of her.


She was the key of analyzing how liquidable identity trully is, how the same face can have  multiple personalities and traits, how social labels destroy our own complexity , restraining us from cherishing life the way we want to.

Felix’s art night brought Cosima,Sarah and Alison together as one person.The whole 1 person-multiple personas performance was a brilliant way  of getting the sisters together in one night and watching them happy and more importantly free.

-Alison, carefree, happy to help Fee and trying to wake her inner artistic self. Donnie always with her, supporting her, happy to be a part of this extraordinary family.

-Cosima  back in her own joyous self, more dashing than ever. Laughing,dancing having Delphine with her.

-Sarah, finally realizing that DYAD is going down once and for all, getting to chill and enjoy the night.

It was a well deserved night for them and for us the viewers.After all this angst and pain this joy was much needed and justified.After all, they are so close to freedom.

-THE ABSENT SISTERS

  • Helena

I SMELL NEO SHIT

i loooooved this line, so utterly Helena!

Thank god Gracie didn’t betray Helena again even tho she was that close..

when i saw the gun pointed at G i kinda knew she’s a gonner. So the spoiler source was right 3 persons died in 5x08 indeed.

they’re gonna gag Helena with the Hannibal mask in the next ep jfc

i’m really hoping her character/centric episode will be as intense as Rachel’s was…also her journal and memoirs are gonna be a testimony of courage throughout the next generation of sisters…

  • Rachel

god Rachel Rachel Rachel…i was so scared about the way they’re gonna handle her…i was afraid about her backstabbing S but THANK GOD they did it the right way…

Rachel’s “Be careful” to Siobhan was so broken and authentic, like there was a micro/tiny-possiblity of her subconsiously believing S’s words…

-We do everything we can, each of us in our way

-And we do it for each other.

if you look closely to this scene Rachel is crying in here…jfc she’s a mess of emotions…

… is there a chance for her to be a part of this sisterhood after everything she’s done? Does she really wants to? Will she ever be accepted? Is Siobhan her only hope of ever feeling that she belongs to something??

I haven’t seen Rachel as vulnerable and soft as in 5x08…

and i am DREADING the 2 parter cause after Graeme’s newest interview he confirms that there’s a confrontation coming between Sarah and Rachel…

can you imagine the triumvirate  Sarah,,Helena and Rachel in one scene?

omg IT’S COMING AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS… i wonder if Helena’s “i’m gonna kill Rachel” is foreshadowing or not…

  • FERDINASS

ok i really wanna set some things straight..

Ferdinand never loved Rachel..neither do i believe that the show is trying to sell us that Fernisshole deeply loved her…i don’t know what the writers have said for him in interviews- and i don’t care tbh , cause from the show itself it’s clear to  me that this isn’t love, it’s just a  game of dominance and nothing more…if the writers wanted to glorify him then he would have helped Rachel bring down DYAD because the only thing she wants is freedom…and Ferdinand never listened to her..

what’s really REALLY sad- and that’s where people should focus- is the fact that poor Rachel thinks that’s real love.

imagine how fucking mentally abused  she was all her life that she believes this is love…can you actually imagine it? How distorted is her image about love because she has never experienced it? And when a human being (let’s pretend F/asshole is human being ) doesn’t betray her then she thinks that’s love…PROTECT RACHEL FUCKIN’ DUNCAN 

the struggling attemp…i read posts saying that Rachel is crying about Ferdinand?

i mean

?????/ whAT???

Rachel hit rock bottom she doesn’t give 2 shits about Ferd

at this point,she just wants so fucking HARD to die that F is literally doing her a favor…and the reason he left her live is because HE KNOWS HOW MUCH SHE WANTS TO DIE…so he punishes her that way…not even giving her the redemption she desperately seeks in death… it’s literally freedom or death for her..jesus Rachel’s story arc is one of the most beautiful things in season 5….

there’s only one thing that trully disturbed me in ep 8 and that was the “who’s your daddy” dialogue… i choose to believe that Rachel was just playing his game, leting him say whatever makes him feel good in order to continue with the plan and set herself free..especially the “go go ahead, daddy”..she really needed him to kill her jfc

  • DELPHINE FINALLY A PART OF THE FAMILY

at fucking LLLAAAAaaAAAaaast

about bloody time…this episode kept giving and giving i mean?!! I never thought we would have so many Delphine moments jfc

a lot of firsts…first skype call with the ledas…first time that someone openly acknowledged her worth in protecting the ledas in front of others (Ms S in the skypecall)

and then Cosima FINALLY SAID THE WORDS

for YOU, especially you Cos babe..this girl is screaming her love to you for 5 seasons…

she gave everything…her body, her life, her safety,your relationship, EVERYTHING just to keep you safe- is there anything more pure than that?

and not only that even Adele that doesn’t know Delphine at all said it!!

And Delphine, all she did was whatever Siobhan told her too…

However strong and powerful Delphine might seem, in reality she was craving to hear those words and to feel accepted…imagine living in the shadows of doubt and accusations all this time..trying to ignore everyone’s distrust because you fucking love this girl that much..her smile says it all


Cophine was glorious in this episode.And it’s not about the cuteness or fluffiness.What really got me is the sentimentality of their moments. They were finally free.

To talk,to fool around,to stupidly dance  or to do nothing at all.Things that were ruthelessly taken away from them.Things that normal couples do.And now their life together is so palpable they can almost taste it.

-you like it that much?

Cosima darling , after all this time you still don’t have a clue huh?

what really does it for me in this scene, is how Delphine is lost in the painting and her realisation while Cosima’s whole world at this moment is Del..they’re in a crowded place only breathing for each other..at this point i can’t even tell who’s  more in love

and of fucking course she would buy the painting i mean D-U-H

totally loved the

-you own me

joke in regards to the painting.. it’s a too-soon-bad-kind-of-joke aka exactly so utterly Cosima-thing to say

however the ultimate cophine scene for me in 5x08 will be this

unscripted,bittersweet and so very intimate…tears of joy is something that ob doesn’t give us very often and i wanna thank Tatiana for that…i’m in awe with that girl and her performances…she is so.freakingly.good.and.so.devoted.to.her.characters that i have MAD respect for her….and Ebro totally went for it uplifting the scene even more….they are amazing together, their chemistry is magnetic.

imagine for how long did poor Cosima bottled up all those feelings and fears…she didn’t even dare to dream how it would be like to be free..and now it’s happening and she’s not alone, and she gets to share this moment  with the person she needed the most.

Delphine is cocooning her, always the rock and shoulder to cry on.Imagine the sex after this moment (cough COPHINE WRITERS U KNOW WHAT TO DO)

  • LAST CHAPTER

Chicken.

A glorious farewell to a badass character.A bittersweet goodbye to a woman of multiple roles. Warrior, mother, daughter, ally,  the head of the family .The person that glued the Manning household. The invisible pillar.

It fucking broke me that S is dead. But she did it on her terms. Her death was not meaningless.It wasn’t just a “someone had to die” fiasco. Ferdinad needed to die from her hands cause they had unsettled business.I even took pleasure that he died first.Siobhan won in every way possible.She achieved what was the most important task for her : keep Kira safe, her kids alive and bring DYAD down. She did everything she was supposed to do.Killed Ferdinand to get revenge for MK and even gave Rachel a chance to reevaluate her choices/ reengage with her sisters.

S needed to to die cause Sarah needed that final push to transform to the sisterhood’s savior.

Remember episode 4? It was 200% foreshadowing

of what it means to become you.

this is it.That is the moment of Sarah’s transformation. This is how she’s going to take responsibility for everything that’s to come. Her  bonding with S will finally make her realize how is she going to save her sisters and the next generations.

Cause if we go back to s5 ep 1 and Cosima-Sarah’s exchange, Sarah didn’t care about PT or  the implications of his plan to the future generations..she just wanted her family and sisters to be ok…now tho..she knows what’s at stake..she will be stronger,bolder and more ready to fight.She will carry on her mother’s plan.

And i can’t wait to see her arise from her ashes of sorrow and make Beth and Siobhan proud.

My favorite Archie Sonic moments

Saw some other people doing it, so now I wanna share my favorite moments from my favorite comic book.

Sonic running up and hugging Sally as he tears up because he loves her and knows she’s safe.

This scene that pays homage to The Killing Joke, and did it better!

The fight between Metal Sonic and Shard

Shadow giving this little speech

I love this scene so much I made a whole post about it

Naugus using his power to spread fear throughout the concert

The fight between Knuckles and Shadow

I love Scourge so much and he has so many cool moments. Like Super Scourge, conquering his entire planet, etc. But his escape from prison is easilly my favorite

Here’s another scene I made a separate post on. Absolutely heartbreaking and I love it

And finally, Sonic’s monologue after out-smarting Scourge. It’s such a great hero speech and I never tire of reading this scene

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #124 - Zootopia

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #412.

Format: Blu-ray

1) From the very start this film is excellent storytelling. The opening scene where young Judy and her classmates clearly establishes the conflict of predator vs. prey and the biases that come from that, the film’s humor and heart, and Judy as a character.

2) My mother is an actuary. My brother is studying to be an actuary. Actuaries don’t do this.

Little Jaguar: “Today I can hunt for tax exemptions. I’m going to be an actuary!”

3) Judy’s parents (Don Lake & Bonnie Hunt) are so funny in such a sad way.

Stu: “Judy, you ever wonder how your mom and me got to be so darn happy?”

Judy: “Nope.”

Stu: “Well, we gave up on our dreams and we settled. Right, Bon?”

Bonnie: “Oh yes, that’s right Stu. We settled hard.”

4) Gideon Grey.

Originally posted by masha-russia

Gideon is a perfect example of how nothing - NOTHING - in this film is superfluous, but I’m actually going to speak on that further into the film.

5) The police academy scene gives wonderful exposition. It sets up the environment and rules of Zootopia’s various ecosystems in a way that feeds into Judy’s conflict and character.

6) Ginnifer Goodwin as Judy Hopps.

Originally posted by floppy999

Goodwin (a massive Disney fan herself) breathes perfect life into Hopps. The best voice over work is when you’re not distracted by the voice actor. When their voice and their heart match with the character so perfectly that you don’t hear - say - Kristen Bell as Anna or Mike Myers as Shrek, you only hear the character’s. Goodwin is able to balance Judy’s massive optimism and heart along with the scenes where Judy has lost those things perfectly. I don’t think anyone else could have voiced Hopps as well as Goodwin.

7) If you want to avoid a slew of bad animal puns, don’t look too hard at Judy’s iPod.

8) “Try Everything” by Shakira.

Originally posted by raddestboy

Written by Sia, Tor Erik Hermansen, and Mikkel Storleer Eriksen, the theme song which deserved an Oscar nomination captures Judy’s optimism and struggles perfectly. The song’s lyrics speak of optimism in the face of constant failure, a theme which is very relevant to Judy in the first half of the film. It also provides the perfect backdrop to the visual introduction of Zootopia as Judy enters the city on train.

9) Subtle.

Judy [after Clawhauser calls her “cute”]: “Ooh, ah, you probably didn’t know, but a bunny can call another bunny ‘cute’, but when other animals do it, that’s a little…”

Originally posted by wish-for-the-moon

10) This film really runs with the animal puns.

(GIF originally posted by @baawri)

Bogo [turning to an Elephant officer]: “Francine. Happy birthday!”

11) I love the way the filmmakers handled Judy’s office discrimination. She is treated just as a token bunny, someone who’s only there for PR. Except she was top of her class at Zootopia police academy: a difficult feat for anybody, let alone a bunny. But this just feeds into the biases Bogo already has about Judy: she’s not really that good, they just said she was because she’s a bunny. That plays into real life way more than it probably should.

12) Wow, I did not catch how entirely speciesist this line was until now:

Ice Cream Parlor Owner [to Nick]: “Look, you probably can’t read…”

Damn that’s speciesist.

13) Jason Bateman as Nick Wilde.

Originally posted by a-zootopia-fan

Remember how I said great voice over work is noted by not realizing you’re listening to a voice over artist? The same can be said of Bateman’s performance of Wilde, 100%. To start, Bateman captures Wilde’s surface level of sly con artists WONDERFULLY well. He’s devilish and charming in the same vein as Danny Ocean or Han Solo, and Bateman expresses this perfectly. But as the film progresses Bateman is also able to show off Nick’s layers. His troubled past, his occasional lack of self-worth and anger at the world. And the honest level never changes. It’s not like Bateman was hired ONLY for the slyness of Nick’s role and had to power through the rest, he’s able to do it all. It’s a great voice over for a great character.

14) The relationship between Nick & Judy is the cornerstone of this film. What I personally like about it is its honesty. There’s no BIG moment when these two meet, it’s a chance encounter which grows to conflict and then budding friendship so organically you don’t even know it’s happening.

Originally posted by surreal-teal

15) There is nothing even remotely superfluous in this film. Nick makes a comment about how he’s been running his popsicle con his whole life and that will come back to bite him in the butt later.

16) This pig is played by Josh Dallas, Ginnifer Goodwin’s onscreen partner in “Once Upon a Time” and real life husband.

17) The chase through Zootopia is an incredible amount of fun, especially when Judy and Duke get to Little Rodentia. The filmmakers are able to play with their concept in a visual entertaining and imaginative way, which in turn keeps us as the audience wrapped up in the world they’ve established.

Note: I’m going to take about Alan Tudyk as Duke later in the film, at a very specific moment.

18) Again, there is nothing superfluous in this film (a note I’m going to be making a lot):

Judy [after saving Mr. Big’s daughter]: “Love your hair.”

Mr. Big’s Daughter: “Aww, thank you!”

It is this little encounter (and, you know, the fact that Judy saved her life) that saves Judy & Nick from getting “iced” by Mr. Big later in the film.

19) Again, nothing superfluous in the film. As the “non-onions” that Duke stole end up being very important later on.

20) Disney is at its bets when it pokes fun at itself.

Bogo: “Life isn’t some cartoon musical where you sing a little musical and your insipid dreams MAGICALLY COME TRUE! So let it go.”

Originally posted by rinshi-chan

21) Can we all just take a moment to appreciate Nick’s face after Judy says she’ll arrest him for, “felony tax evasion,” after he brags to her about how he’s been running this con since he was a kid and how much money he makes?

(GIF originally posted by @animations-daily)

22) Again, with the idea that nothing in this film is superfluous: Judy’s recording pen becomes very important as the movie goes on.

23) Only Tommy Chong could play this character.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Like there’s a chance he’s not even reading from a script, they just had Tommy Chong come in and told him what the movie was about and he just started talking.

24) This is the funniest part of the whole film, in my opinion.

Originally posted by officialmoviegoer

The entire DMV scene plays well not only with the concept established by the film of an animal society in a way which is funny on its own, but the continuing conflict of Judy’s eagerness, Flash’s slowness, and Nick’s desire to throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing leads to amazing comedy.

25) Did you know Kristen Bell is in this film?

Originally posted by musicallyfoxypokemon

Bell landed the role not only because of her working with Disney on Frozen, but also because she is a noteworthy sloth enthusiast (as seen on “Ellen”).

26) It is nice to see Nick freak out when he realizes he and Judy are in Mr. Big’s limo, as it shows us a part of him we haven’t gotten to look at much in the film so far.

27) Maurice LaMarche as Mr. Big.

(GIF originally posted by @rocktheholygrail)

LaMarche is a noted voice over actor known primarily for his roles as Brain on “Pinky & The Brain”, various characters including Calculon on “Futurama”, and Mr. Freeze in the Batman Arkham series of video games. Here, we get to hear the veteran voice over artist do his best high pitched Brando impression.

28) This film has its fair share of nice surprises, details and twists which keeps you on your toes. The earliest of these is the revelation that the missing mammal Judy & Nick are looking for - Mr. Otterton - was in fact the one who attacked the limo driver (and not that he was the one attacked, as originally perceived).

29) This scene gives me life.

Bogo [after Judy’s witness disappears]: Two days to find the otter, or you quit. That was the deal. [Holding out hand] Badge.

Judy: But sir, we…

Bogo: Badge!

[Judy starts to turn in her badge]

Nick: Uh… no.

Chief Bogo: What did you say, fox?

Nick Wilde: Sorry, what I said was… NO! She will not be giving you that badge.[Bogo flinches] Look, you gave her a… a… a clown vest and a three wheel joke mobile and two days to solve a case you guys haven’t cracked in two weeks? Yeah, no wonder she needed to get help from a fox. None of you guys were gonna help her, were you? [Bogo starts to speak but Nick cuts him off] Here’s the thing, chief. You gave her the 48 hours, so technically we still have… 10 left, to find our Mr. Otterton. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. So, if you’ll excuse us, we have a very big lead to follow and a case to crack. Good day.

30) And then there’s this…

I saw this film twice in theaters and both times I was tearing up during Nick’s backstory. Anyone who has ever been bullied as a kid for being different will relate at least a little bit to what Nick went through. And it is this scene when Nick is at his most honesty with Judy, when they become pretty good friends and form a trust with each other.

31) NOTHING IN THIS FILM IS SUPERFLUOUS!!!! NOT EVEN A BLINK OR YOU’LL MISS IT STICKY NOTE ON BELLWETHER’S DESK!!!!

32) I did not think a Disney movie would make me jump like this (stop at 2:11).

33) This is incredibly rare for me, as someone who sees more than 60 films in theaters a year, but after Nick & Judy found the missing mammals and had the mayor arrested I had absolutely NO idea where the film was going after that. At all. I love it!

34) Nick’s face when Judy links the savage animals to being a predator…

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

35) I had a film student criticize this film not based on the merits of its story or character’s or anything, but because they didn’t understand the metaphor. He noted that it’s not a clean comparison between white people and minorities and that’s exactly the point. This film is not about the people in power vs the people who aren’t, because who’s in power? The mayor may be a lion but the most biased character in the film - Chief Bogo - is prey. Bias goes all around and it can infect anybody, no matter what you think. Even Judy, for all her merits, is biased. She carries around fox repellent all the time and even has this line:

Judy: “It’s not like a bunny can go savage.”

That’s what I love about this film. It’s universal. It’s not about one real life society, it is about all societies everywhere and how bias can infect them and taint them and it’s up to us to work against that.

36) Fun fact: I had no idea otters were predators before seeing this film.

37) Gideon Grey returns.

Originally posted by klaus-baudelarie

If only all childhood bullies were like that, but again it gets to my oft-repeated point that nothing in this film is superfluous. Gideon could have easily been the one note bully from Judy’s youth who gave her the motivation to prove him wrong, but he comes back 15 years later in the most perfect way. She sees that people can change and that people who are good now are not always good (Gideon when he was younger, Judy when she was biased). It is a really important moment for her that was established all the way in the first ten minutes of this movie. I love that.

38) Judy’s apology to Nick and the way he handles it is something I truly love about this movie and their friendship as a whole.

And then I really love the little joke at the end about Judy trying to get to the pen and can’t help but wonder: was that written in the script? Was it Jason Bateman’s improv that made it into the film? It’s just so natural I must know!

39) Okay, I think this is the last time I will give this note, BUT NOTHING IN THIS MOVIE IS SUPERFLUOUS!!! This is most apparent to me when Nick does a little thing like expressing how much he likes the berries on Judy’s farm and it becomes so important to the plot latter when they switched out those berries with the Night Howlers in Bellwether’s dart gun.

40) THE BOOTLEG MOVIES!!!!

(GIFs originally posted by @bridgetjones)

41) And it’s followed up by this!

Both characters are voiced by Alan Tudyk. Because Disney just can’t let that one slide, can they? I love it.

42) Same Duke. Same.

(GIFs originally posted by @baawri)

43) The sticky note on Bellwether’s phone earlier was for Doug, the guy who mixes the night howler drug that makes animals go savage (this is the same drug who’s key ingredient was mixed from the non-onions Duke stole earlier in the film, FOR Doug).

44) At one point Doug - who is dressed in a yellow radiation suit and makes drugs for a living - lets his client know that “Woolter and Jesse” have arrived.

Originally posted by knurd-dna-denots

And yes, they did that on purpose.

45) The entire subway chase sequence is really great, because it is based heavily on the idea of action = consequence. A ram is running at the door, he gets through and hits another ram. The train goes too fast into a turn, it tips over and Judy/Nick are up a creek. It all works very nicely

46) Honestly, I didn’t figure out Bellwether was the bad guy until just before it was revealed the first time I saw this.

Originally posted by lostchel

47) Bellwether’s line about, “Fear ALWAYS works!” to keep the people in check should not be as relevant in 2017 as it is.

48) Okay, one thing I need to know: Bellwether is in jail, Mayor Lionheart is in jail, and Chief Bogo is still the police chief…SO WHO’S MAYOR NOW!?!?!?

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

49) I know this film was pretty much a buddy cop movie, but I would be totally fine with a buddy cop movie where Nick is actually a cop.

Originally posted by blueberrycarrots

Lethal Weapon where Nick is Mel Gibson and Judy is…Danny Glover? Okay, that comparison doesn’t really work, but you get me!

50) And of course…

Originally posted by livelovecaliforniadreams


I honestly think Zootopia may be a perfectly written film, and that is not something I say lightly. I made it clear above how I find nothing in the film superfluous, which is an incredible feat I think. And they did it in a way that was never boring, with entertaining characters, an intriguing mystery, and a fun world. Zootopia may be my favorite Disney animated feature film, and it’s definitely my favorite of the “Modern Era” we’re in now (The Princess and the Frog - Present). Just a great, great, great film which deserved its Best Animated Picture win at the Oscars. A true treat all around.

Naruto Actor AU

In honor of reaching 500+ followers, I thoughts I’d post a little something as a thanks. So a HUGE thank you to all of you! :)

~An AU in which the entire cast of Naruto are actors for the show~ 

Headcanons: 

- In the beginning, despite their characters’ rocky start and mild hostility towards each other, Naruto and Sasuke were actually really good friends IRL. They had an instant connection with each other and it is said by staff that they had ‘great chemistry.’ 

- About halfway through filming the first part of Naruto, the two began to develop a little crush on each other. By Shippuden, they were completely smitten with each other. Itachi saw it coming a mile away. And makes it a habit to tease Sasuke about it. (’How’s your boyfriend doing, little brother?’ ‘ Naruto isn’t my boyfriend!’ ‘Ah, foolish little brother, I didn’t say Naruto, did I?’ ‘…shut the fuck up, Itachi.’) 

- The Land of Wave Arc was the one of the most intense scenes they had to film during their younger years. The staff was worried they wouldn’t be able to pull ‘The Bridge’ scene off, however, they were pleasantly surprised when the boys managed to surpass their expectations. Kakashi may have even teared up a little when Sasuke ‘died.’ 

- Sasuke and Sakura are actually good friends off screen. Unlike her character, Sakura doesn’t pine of Sasuke, instead she considers herself his best ‘gal pal’ and was the one to convince Sasuke to ask Naruto out. 

- Hinata is far from the shy character that’s seen on screen. She’s very outgoing and friendly towards everyone on set. Sometimes it annoys her to have to play such a timid character. 

- Lee drinks about three grande sized coffees from Starbucks everyday before shooting in order to upkeep his character’s bountiful energy. Though sometimes he overdoes it a little. (’Pssst, Neji. Neji, guess what?’ ‘…’ ‘I can hear colors.’ ‘…yes, well, on that note, I’ll be calling you an ambulance.’)

- The Akatsuki are actually a close knit group. They go out for karaoke parties every Friday. You better believe Pein absolutely dominates.’ 

- Itachi is kind of the ‘mom’ on set and bakes muffins for the entire cast and crew every Sunday. 

- Sasuke is a huge nerd and still attends school because just because he’s a hot star now, doesn’t mean education isn’t important. He’s studying to become an architect. 

- All the actors do their own stunts on set and each of the cast members have a background in martial arts which makes fights scenes relatively easier to choreograph. Sometimes they even take creative liberties in their fighting scenes to provide better flow. 

- During the Five Kage vs. Sasuke fight, Sasuke actually got severely injured doing one of the stunts. Naruto was a nervous wreck the two weeks Sasuke was hospitalized. Naruto channeled those feelings into his acting during his breakdown in the snow. Needless to say, most of the cast and crew were on the verge of tears.

- Ino and Sakura are really gay for each other. Unlike Naruto and Sasuke, they don’t try to hide it. 

- The Team 7 reunion at Orochimaru’s hideout took about thirty takes to film because Naruto couldn’t stop laughing at Sasuke’s outfit. (’Oh my God, you look like a gay pirate!’ ‘Fuck you, Naruto! It’s called fashion!’)

- Off set when Naruto and Sasuke are alone, they often snuggle up to each other on Naruto’s couch and kiss away and accidental bruises they may have inflicted on each other during more intense fight scenes. (HC provided by @rei-scarlet)

- Itachi is seen profusely apologizing to Sasuke whenever they finish filming scenes together. (’I’m sorry I had to slam you into the wall, little brother.’ ‘It’s okay, Itachi, it’s just acting. I’m fi–’ *bursts out sobbing* ‘You’re so forgiving and pure! Here, take my wallet!’ ‘Itachi…what the fuck?’)

- Team 7 and Team Taka make it a point to hang out together every Saturday after shooting. 

- During panels and fan events, the cast sometimes re-enact some scenes from the show. Naruto and Sasuke get asked to re-enact their accidental kissing scene at least once a panel to which they kindly refuse. But make up for by re-enacting some of their other more, emotional scenes. 

- The entire cast reads fanfiction, occasionally if they’re feeling up to it, they’ll read out a few during panels.  If they do end up reading fics, Kakashi always manages to sneak a few rated ones into the mix. 

** And that’s all I have for now. Feel free to add more! ^^ 

Nightmares // Julian Albert x Reader

Summary: You had noticed Julian’s recent nightmares and were attempting to wait for him to come to you to talk about it. Though, when he refuses to tell you what’s going on you mind tells you what must’ve happened and your reaction puts you in grave danger.

Word count: 2,038

Warnings: mentions of cheating and sex, implied sexual harassment

Julian just wanted to leave everything that happened with Alchemy in the past. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. He thought when the Philosopher’s Stone was gone he could just move on. Except it wasn’t that easy. Every night he had nightmares of all the people he hurt, of savitar’s voice inside his head.

You had been noticing he was acting strange but he never told you what was troubling him. It was unlike him to not tell you what was wrong, for the past two years you’d been together he told you everything. You knew that it must be something he’s not ready to discuss if he hasn’t told you yet. You wanted to know but you didn’t want to pry. You made sure to constantly tell him that you’d be there to listen as soon as he is ready to talk about it. It pained you to see him hurting and to know that he was bottling up all of his emotions.

You felt him jolt awake and could hear his heavy breathing. You turn on your side to face him and see him sitting up, elbows to his knees, and head in his hands. You hear light, quiet sobs escaping from his mouth and your heart breaks to see him like this.

You sit up and run a hand up and down his bare back, not saying anything and just letting him calm down. He begins to relax at your touch but you can still feel the tension in his muscles. You place a hand on his forearm and he pulls his head from his hands to look at you.

“Do you want to talk about it,” you ask lightly while sliding your hand down his arm to intertwine your fingers.

“No,” he chokes out, fiddling with your fingers. “I just want to forget about it.”

“You can’t forget about it by keeping everything in,” the hand you hand on his back moves to his cheek, he melts into your palm and looks into your eyes.

“I don’t want things between us to be ruined,” he says just above a whisper.

Your heart sinks, you don’t know what he did but by the sounds of that it’s not good. There are few things that could jeopardize the relationship you two have and your face falls when you think about what he could’ve done.

When the thought crosses your mind you remove your hands from him and place them in your lap. You just stare at them and try to fight the urge to cry, even though tears are filling your eyes.

At first he is confused at your change in demeanor, then he realizes the only thing that could be going through your head.

“No, no, no,” he quickly grabs your hands. “It’s not that, I didn’t cheat on you. I swear on my life.”

“You have been gone a lot of nights recently,” you say. “How can you explain that?”

He sighs, “I can’t.”

The first tear falls from your eye. “Okay,” you choke before getting up and out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Julian asks, concerned, as you put on a shirt and some leggings.

“To clear my head,” you say while putting on a cardigan and boots.

“Y/N, listen, you have to believe that it wasn’t that.”

“I can’t Julian,” you snap and you can see him tense up. “You haven’t been around most nights, you won’t tell me what’s going on with you, when was the last time we even had dinner together? And I can’t even recall the last time we had sex so it wouldn’t surprise me that your getting it from someone else,” all your sadness had turned to rage, you cross your arms and lean onto your hip.

“Please, just believe me,” he looks up at you with his bright blue, puppy eyes. A look that use to make you do anything, but not now.

“I’ll believe it when you prove it,” you go to walk out the bedroom door.

“Y/N it’s 3 a.m. It’s not safe to be walking around the city.”

You ignore him and just keep walking, you make sure to slam the door of your apartment shut. You stand in the hallway for a moment. Waiting to hear Julian’s footsteps coming after you but they never come. You shake your head and head for the stairs, that’s enough for you to prove you’re right.

Julian wakes up the next morning and sees you’re still not home. He wanted to go after you when you left but seeing you walk away broke him. He couldn’t move or speak, all he could do was sob and sob. He cried himself to sleep and woke up to his pillowcase still damp from his tears.

He did his best to pull himself together and get ready for work. He couldn’t hide that his eyes were red, puffy, and bloodshot and he didn’t even have the energy to fix his hair. He just put on some clothes and left for the precinct.

When he got to the lab he was surprised to see Barry already there. He would’ve made a snarky remark about Barry being early for once in his life but he couldn’t even muster up enough energy for that. He just went straight to his desk, saying nothing.

Barry looked at him for a second, awaiting the snarky remark he undoubtedly deserved. It never came, Julian immediately pulled out some files and got to work. Barry tilted his head in confusion, that’s when he noticed it. He could tell Julian had been up all night, he could see he’d been crying and that his normal scowl was more of a saddened pout.

“Hey, Julian are you okay?” Barry asks.

“I’m fine, Allen,” he replied, except Barry could tell by his tone he was indeed not fine.

Before Barry could say anything Joe runs into the room. “Barry we need you to head down to a crime scene and Julian I need you to come with me.”

Barry knowing Julian was having a rough day thought maybe solving a case would lighten him up. “I think Julian should head down to the scene,” he says. “He’s a better CSI.”

“No, I need him to head over to the hospital with me.”

“Hospital?” Julian stands up. “Why?” Worry starts to fill his voice, the only thing running through his head is you.

Joe lets out a sigh, “It’s Y/N, she got hurt last night. She was found just a little over an hour ago, it was bad. Barry needs to go look at the crime scene and Julian you should see Y/N. I can explain more to you on the way.”

Julian feels sick to his stomach as Joe told him the whole story during the car ride to the Central City Hospital. It happened barely two blocks from your apartment building. All the police knew so far was that you had been pulled into a back alley and were stabbed. The only thing keeping her from bleeding out was the switchblade remaining lodged in her stomach. That was all the knew, they hadn’t gotten a statement from you yet. When you were found you were out cold and all the anesthetics are continuing to keep you that way.

Julian feels the air knocked out from his lungs when he steps into your hospital room. The sight of your weak, limp body would surely be enough to cause him to break down again, but there were no tears left in him.

“I’ll give you two your space,” Joe rests a hand on Julian’s shoulder before exiting the room.

Julian stands in the doorway, mouth hanging a gap for a few moments before walking towards you. He sits in a chair next to your hospital bed and takes your normally warm hand in his, shivers go up his spine when he feels how cold you are. He sighs running his free hand through his hair.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he breathes out. “This is all my fault,” he shakes his head before taking your hand in both of his. “I swear as soon as your up I’ll explain everything,” he rests his head on your hand. “I’ll make this better, I promise,” a tear slips down his cheek. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats over and over again.

An hour passes, Julian’s head still rests on your hand.

“So, this is Y/N?” He hears a voice in the doorway ask. He looks up to see Barry leaning on the door frame. He nods before turning back to her. “You’ve never mentioned her.”

“In case you haven’t noticed I don’t consider you a close friend, do I, Allen?” He remarks, eyes fixated on your features. “What did you learn from the scene?”

“Well, she was found around six, from the looks of the scene and the wound she must’ve been stabbed around five,” Barry explains.

“That makes no sense,” Julian shakes her head. “She left at three, the scene was only two blocks from our apartment it wouldn’t take her two hours to get there.”

“Maybe she was walking back,” Barry suggest.

“No, I know where she was going and she wouldn’t go by the alley where she was found.”

“I guess we just have to wait until she wakes up to know what happened in that time gap. I’ll leave you two alone until then,” he says before leaving the room.

Julian caresses your face, “What happened to you?” He whispers.

He studies your face. He notices your eyes rapidly moving while shut, just as they would if you were having a nightmare. Your breathing picks up, your chest moving up and down frantically. Your heart rate steadily goes up and sweat begins to trickle down your face. Julian grows worried at the sight, not knowing what to do, if he should wake you up or not.

You start to mumble something, “Don’t touch, don’t touch me,” you repeat, getting louder. You jolt awake panting.

“Y/N,” Julian places a hand on the small of your back.

“No!” You shout causes him to back off. “Don’t touch me,” you bury your head in your hands, starting to cry.

“Love, what happened,” he quietly asks.

“He was so scary,” you choke out.

“Who?” He asks but you stay silent. “Baby, who was it?”

“I don’t know,” your voice is a whisper, you hug your knees into your chest. “It was dark and I was blindfolded,” the tears stream down your face. “And then-then-” you couldn’t finish the sentence.

Julian can already put two and two together. “Y/N, I’m so sorry this happened,” he says, ashamed of himself. He knows this is all his fault, he should’ve just told you the truth from the start. “This is all my fault,” he hesitantly places a hand on you back. He can feel your body shake as you cry. “I should’ve told you what was going on.”

“Julian, I don’t care to think about that right now,” your voice is muffled due to the fact your head is still buried in your knees. You turn your head so your cheek is resting on your knee and your facing him, except you can’t make eye contact. You take one of his hands in yours, your grip weak. “Can you just lay with me?” Your voice is almost as weak as your grip.

“Anything, love,” he says before crawling next to you on your small hospital bed.

You rest your head and a hand on his chest. You sigh as you grasp and release the material of his shirt. Your mind is filled with the memories that will forever be embedded in your brain. You screaming and fighting, trying to escape but nothing worked. Then, Julian’s arms wrap around you and suddenly you feel safe again.

“I’ll never let anything like this happen again,” he speaks, softly. “I promise,” he whispers before kissing the top of your head.

“I love you.”

Julian smiles at your words, glad that even though there’s some damage you’re here. You’re safe in his arms.

“I love you, too.”