no i cannot take you seriously

2

exactly ten years ago today, i:

  • overplucked my eyebrows
  • didn’t take very good care of my skin
  • could eat a gallon of ice cream by myself in one sitting
  • thought if i was the first to acknowledge that i was awkward and weird, no one would be able to make fun of me for being awkward and weird
  • thought if i played up the fact that i was awkward and weird, i could turn it into an endearing personality trait, when in reality acting even more awkward and even more weird just made me even more awkward and even more weird
  • fucking knew that and couldn’t figure out how to be anything but annoying
  • seriously, i cannot emphasize enough how badly i treated my skin

there are lots of ways to take care of yourself.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi, South British kiddo here - in response to the Northern Brit. Uh, I had literally no idea such a thing happened with GCSE's and budgeting down here. I want to apologise for our foolish and bias ways.

Hey, anon, i think you shouldn’t apologise for things you cannot control, but it’s cool you are aware that those things happen.

–Mod C

hey, minors, please do not treat paypal like a social media account. it is banking. it is a legal thing. you’re not legally allowed to have one. if you ever prove identity your funds will be seized and your account will be closed. making a paypal as a minor is dangerous and useless to you. 

you can never delete an account, only close it, so if you ever prove identity banks will then have that information at their disposal. and paypal may even take legal action against you.

if you made a paypal account as a minor: close it right now.

if you’re in serious trouble you’re going to need the help of someone who is legally an adult to run money through them, otherwise again, you could be in serious legal troubles.

DO NOT MAKE A FAKE PAYPAL ACCOUNT IN SOMEONE ELSE’S NAME it is identity fraud … this is again taken VERY SERIOUSLY. I cannot stress this enough.

you can also seriously fuck over your own credit rating in the future, and that can turn into something thatll haunt you for a long time if you fuck up bad enough.

I know you kids probably aren’t thinking about credit yet, but it is important when you’re an adult, it can be the difference between getting housing and not getting housing. it is a huge deal.

Do. Not. Treat. Paypal. Like. A. Social. Media. Account. It. Is. Not. A. Toy.

2

Because the only thing better than one Loki… Is TWO Loki’s!

Charlie Hunnam was emaciated and had lost 20 pounds for the last season of Sons of Anarchy (2008). During auditions, Guy Ritchie was very bothered by his look though he liked his performance and asked him 4 times during the process about his poor physique and ‘What was the heaviest he had been’. Hunnam said that when Ritchie brought up the 4th time, he knew that the physicality of Arthur was very important to Ritchie. He promised Ritchie that he would get into incredible shape for Arthur and to prove his fitness for the part, offered to physically fight the other two finalists - Henry Cavill and Jai Courtney. Hunnam told Ritchie, “Look, dude, you keep bring this up, the physicality. Its obviously your primary concern. So if you want to do away with all this auditioning bollocks, I’ll fucking fight those other two dudes. I know who they are. You can bring them both in here. I’ll fight them both. The one who walks out the door gets the job.” Hunnam won the role after this.
—  Charlie proving that you can take the boy out of charming, but you cannot take charming out of the boy xD

kirjoihin-kadonnut  asked:

since you’ve been so calm and nice about infinity war (specifically: loki in infinity war) please calm me down. in the new trailer, he’s standing with the black order? and i’m FREAKING OUT? but he can’t be evil again, they wouldn’t do that to him and his redemption arc. or to us. or would they? idk i’m having a lot of emotions and i’m just really scared

Aww – I hope I can help out!!  I do have many thoughts about why it’s all gonna be okay for us Loki’s Army folks, so let’s see if I can be of assistance. <3

Let’s deal with the new trailer shot first, ‘coz it’s actually not as bad as that quick flash makes it appear:

Once you get a screenshot (instead of a split-second glance during the trailer), you can see that one of the Black Order is actually leveling an enormous blaster at Loki’s head. (Also one of the dudes behind him is maybe a mind-controller, and therefore maybe a second “weapon” aimed at Loki?  I dunno; I confess I get mixed up with the Black Order, maybe ‘coz I’ve only seen the GotG films once each. Still: blaster.) So Loki is not truly standing with them; he’s either being threatened by them or captured by them. Not, like, a sign that he’s about to have a good day, but definitely a sign that He’s Not With Them.

So that’s that. But what about in general?  Why am I so bloody calm about whether or not Loki goes evil in Infinity War?

Because of this:

Kevin Feige specifically asked for this particular keyframe because he wanted to show it to Tom Hiddleston before they talked about Thor: Ragnarok and discussed what Loki was going to do this time around.” –  Concept Artist Jackson Sze

The idea that Feige himself was involved with getting this shot ready to go – to explain to Hiddleston, well before Ragnarok filming commenced (conceivably before Hiddleston had even seen a script, which means conceivably before there even was a final script) – means that The Power That Be wanted to center Loki’s arc in Ragnarok on Loki ultimately becoming The Savior of Asgard. That is, on Loki ultimately becoming one of the good guys. The idea that Feige would care about this if it wasn’t leading to something in Infinity War just does not make sense to me. Because – why wouldhe care, otherwise?  I’m sure Feige and Company have some affection for these characters, but at the end of the day, Feige’s interest is in keeping audiences coming back for each movie. I don’t think he or the Marvel head honchos lose a lot of sleep over character beats in each of the films unless it’s to determine how it’s going to figure into the next movie. Because why would they; why would they care?  If Feige bothered to get this in order to show Hiddleston before Ragnarok was even fully underway – I have to think that means Loki’s entire point in Ragnarok is not going to be tossed aside the very next year by what is, in many ways, a follow-up movie.

The way I see it, there really are four possibilities for Loki’s character in Infinity War:

1) He stays on the side of Thor and the Avengers and consistently fights Thanos & Company.

2) He pretends to be on Thanos’s side, but it’s all part of A Clever Plan™ to beat Thanos.

3) He panics and swings onto Thanos’s side to stay alive, but has an Ultimate Heel-Face Turn at the eleventh hour and ultimately becomes A Good Guy. (I know we’ve done this plot like eighteen times with Loki – and Ragnarok pretty much settled the question once and for all that Loki is redeemed – but the Avengers movies DO like to undo character beats only to ultimately redo them again.)

4) He gets brainwashed into helping Thanos (much like Loki brainwashed Hawkeye in Avengers 1), but it’s not really Loki’s choice. (NOTE: I really don’t think this one will happen – like a five percent chance that they’d bother with this, because we’ve had several brainwashed heroes already and it’s not particularly interesting to keep doing at this point – but I thought I’d include it for the sake of completion, as it’s technically possible.)

I don’t know which of these is the most likely, true. (I really doubt it’s 4, though you never know.) My money’s on one of the first two, mostly because those are the two that Loki’s limited trailer time seems to suggest (he looks scared, he looks determined, he’s got a blaster leveled at his face by the bad guy team). It’s dangerous to predict too much based on trailers, so I guess it could be 3, but I’m thinking 1 and 2 are the safest bets. Will see.

But, at the end of the day: none of the possibilities are Evil!Loki. It doesn’t make sense. Not after Feige took the time to show a redemption arc to Hiddleston from the beginning of Ragnarok. For even Feige to be in on giving Loki’s character true redemption in Ragnarok, all signs point to it holding true in Infinity War. Because otherwise, I say again: why bother?

That does not mean everything is roses. For starters, I’m gonna be shocked if Loki has a whole lot of screen time. Honestly, I’m going to be shocked if anybody has a whole lot of screen time, because there are 5,287 characters in this movie. So while I’m hoping Loki may turn out to be MVP to the Avengers because I love him and that would make my life, I know there’s a good chance he’ll merely be one of the VPs. (Which, y’know: he already got to be The Savior of Asgard, so fair enough.) 

Although, speaking of saving Asgard: there also looks to be a good chance that all the Asgardians die, though I’m holding out hope that some of them escape. Also, Loki himself may die … temporarily.

Yes!  Temporarily!  While we’re on the subject of reassuring Infinity War thoughts, here are the two reasons I don’t think Loki will die (at least not permanently) in Infinity War:

One:

Loki (and Thor) are in Avengers Four. They are IN the next movie!! One more for those in the back: Loki is in the next movie. And yeah, yeah, it’s a flashback in this scene, I know. Look, Loki is *in* the flippin’ fourth movie and I bet time travel is involved. All this stuff might get undone. No one should panic about anyone STAYING dead until the end of Avengers 4. People in Marvel die and get better all the time. It’s okay. 

Besides, we also have Reason Two:

Characters who star in rebooted franchises don’t die right after their rebooted franchise pulls in $850 million. That’s not good business practice. The company that’s taken the time to reboot them invites them back for another $850 million-earning sequel. Marvel didn’t reboot the whole thing last year to wipe out their second-billed star before he can make another sequel or two. 

So – really, guys. I really think we’re safe. It’s gonna be okay. Loki’s gonna be okay.

… might have to wait until Avengers 4 for the okay-ness to commence, though. Time travel, guys. Don’t believe anything you see ‘til that all gets shaken out.

In the meantime, we’ve got a month to go. Let’s keep enjoying the heck outta Ragnarok till then. :D

(I hope this helped!!)

what  your hero choice says
  • genji: haha good fucking luck losers
  • mccree: i cant aim but i want to pretend i can
  • pharah: we can fucking win. we can.
  • reaper: it doesnt matter that i cant aim im still gonna kill everyone
  • soldier 76: this is the only class i can play
  • tracer: i'm gonna chipshot the enemy team from a mile away but i SWEAR i'm helping
  • bastion: i have to win. i have to.
  • hanzo: fuck you all
  • junkrat: i cant aim but i want to help
  • mei: i take delight in others' frustration
  • torbjorn: i hate you. my heart is fueled by hatred
  • widowmaker: i wish i wasn't here
  • d.va: i cannot and thus will not chill
  • reinhardt: i want to help us win
  • roadhog: dont care about any of you just wanna kill people
  • winston: i like environmental kills
  • zarya: i believe in myself
  • lucio: i believe in this team
  • ana: id rather be playing widowmaker but we have no support
  • mercy: i fucking hate this team but we have no support
  • symmetra: i live to inconvenience
  • zenyatta: i like healing more than sniping but not by much

I literally cannot stop thinking about this panel? like dick and wally actually watched scooby doo together in canon. whose idea was it in the first place? also imagine dick analyzing everything and getting super into it while wally side eyes him. dick trying to talk over wally’s laughter

“no but seriously the only possible explanation is for the security guard to have done it I mean -”

“dick you are taking this way too seriously chill”

“no no wally listen!! the groundskeeper didn’t even have access to -”

“dick. this is a cartoon. for kids. really small kids”

“you’re not listening to me just hear me out”

“oh my god.”

BNHA Headcanons part 2

Cuz ive rested and have no impulse control

Todoroki

- I really like the idea of him being like Captain Holt from B99.

- He once stared at a wall for five straight hours. Momo declared he was obviously thinking about life itself. He was actually just wondering what would happen if Pinocchio said “I’m lying.” When he told Izuku later they delved into a very intense conversation that has yet to be settled.

- His worst subject is English. 

- His favorite color is yellow. When asked why, he just shrugs. But in reality its because his mom really liked keeping marigolds in the house when he was younger.

Bakugou

- This boi can style hair. Nobody believes him for a long time when he accidentally made a snide comment about it. Kiri is the only one who bothers to see if its true, and sports some crazy braids for a couple days. The girls are too scared to really ask for him to theirs tho. They don’t realize he actually really likes doing it. It reminds him of sitting around his mom’s hair salon.

- Cannot tell a joke. He’s tried. Three people left crying, and somehow Izuku was pissed. Nobody talks about that day.

- “Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.”

- Has gotten into a screaming match with both a parrot and a kitten. The Bakusquad no longer takes him to pet stores.

Mina

- “My last fuck just flew out the window, right behind Todo’s.”

- Really likes to ask questions. No one is safe. “Seriously, Shoji, do you have an actual mouth or…?”

- Is that person who would own a tarantula and name it Sweetums. 

- Has drop kicked Mineta roughly seventeen (17) times. She’s going for a world record.

- Has a really nice voice. 

Kaminari

- Has never actually played a pokemon game. Prefers Digimon. Kirishima nearly disowned him.

- Actually really respectful of personal bubbles. Mostly cuz he’s scared he’ll accidentally electrocute you. Hugs are rare. 

- Never actually falls asleep during class. He actually just daydreams about random stuff.

- Irrationally scared of being invited to a pool party. Only swims if he’s the only one in the pool. But he’s not much of a swimmer to begin with.

Uraraka

- Hates texting. Prefers phone calls.

- She discovered her quirk by hitting the coffee table during a fit. They couldn’t figure out how to get it down for three hours. 

- Is actually really fascinated by architecture. 

- Her bucket list consists of going on a bungee jumping spree in which she makes herself levitate halfway down to give the people running it a minor heart attack, and learning how to tango. She cannot dance, so the second thing will take a while.

Tsuyu

- Not a morning person. She’s actually rather terrifying. 

- Is not afraid to deck someone for touching her or her friends without consent. Bakugou witnessed this once, and she has since unknowingly earned his respect. 

- Will cut your sandwiches into fun shapes and goes into mom mode when her friends are sick. Has carried nearly everyone to Recovery Girl for being sick with the flu. 

- Her mom likes to tell her that her hair is like that cuz of a curse that was put on her as a baby. She believes her a little more everyday.


Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

anonymous asked:

I’m pretty sure mccree is Caucasian.. but he might have a tan...

There’s actually a lot of evidence pointing to McCree being Hispanic or mixed.

He is from Santa Fe, New Mexico, which as of 2015, had a 51.2% Hispanic population. As populations mix, in this day and age, more and more mixed-race children are being born every day, so this is very plausible.

Furthermore:

His serape, which is based on the style of the man in ‘a man with no name’, is a Hispanic article of clothing very typical of Vaqueros (Mexican cowboys - vaca means cow) - who came up with most of the cowboy slang of old (http://www.cowboyshowcase.com/the-people–the-land.html#.WRTTCojyuUk), which is also what this film character is based on. Most spaghetti westerns are based on the Vaquero culture.

His reference sheet specifically calls it a serape, not a poncho - which some people mistake it for.

Cowboy hats as we know them are a falsehood. Nobody in the west wore anything like those (unless they were vaquero). They’d likely wear bowler hats, as was the style at the time. However, the cowboy hats we know and love are based on traditional Hispanic headwear. (seriously, just do a quick google search and compare them to bowler hats) – examples of artwork and photos here from the time

If you look at his reference sheet, in comparison to other known POC in the game, you cannot argue he is colored the same way as the white characters: please take note on this chart I made how his skintone is almost the same as Sombra, a known Hispanic character:

His coloring is different, plain and simple. His undertones are not pink or red, they are yellow and golden. This is true of Hispanic people or mixed race Hispanics (like myself).

He also speaks Spanish in his comic: https://comic.playoverwatch.com/en-us/mccree-train-hopper

Which makes him one of two characters who cannonly speak Spanish, the other being Sombra.

OKAY SO…

LOKI IN HIS MIDGUARDIAN CLOTHING IS THE BEST DAMN THING IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE…

LIKE DAAAAMN

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.


… you get??

Writing Advice For The Rest Of Us

This post is my message to everyone else who also reads a lot of writing advice lists and feels frustrated and broken as a writer because so much of the near-universal advice doesn’t seem to work. 

1. Don’t write if you don’t feel like writing. Some writers thrive on forcing themselves to crank out words they hate. Uh, bully for them? Every time I try to write when I don’t feel like writing, I end up not only deleting all the crap I spew but also staying in a don’t-wanna-write mood for a lot longer than normal. If forcing the words doesn’t work for you, don’t do it. Give yourself time.

2. Editing before you start writing is fine. “Don’t do it!” they holler. “Make new words, don’t get stuck rewriting forever!” Fuck you, Hemingway reread every time he wrote and so can I. Even if you do wind up editing the whole time and not writing any new words, so what? Improving what you’ve got is perfectly worthwhile.

3. It’s okay to be a perfectionist. Sometimes it takes an hour to write a sentence. That is fine. Wordcount is not the end-all be-all of productivity; quality matters too. The “your first draft is just gonna be shitty, accept it” attitude doesn’t work for everyone.

4. Procrastination is good. Man, I seriously cannot tell you how much less stressful writing has become since I decided procrastination was a crucial part of my process and stopped feeling guilty about it. It gives you time to work through things subconsciously, and sometimes you get a whole lot of housework done in the process. Or a whole lot of Netflix-watching. Whatever. It’s okay. You’re okay.

5. Writing advice is a pile of bullshit. Yep, even this writing advice. The only writing advice you should really listen to is the stuff that comes from people who know you and your style and your flaws well. Everything else is a suggestion, and anyone who thinks their advice is a magical exception that applies to every writer is not worth your time.

You are not alone, and you are not broken, and you are not a bad writer just because your process is different from others. Hang in there.

Tell The Devil To Take You Back by SpaceWolfQueen

I commissioned the lovely @pandacapuccino for an art piece based off my Reylo fanfic! She completely blew me away!!! Seriously look at this! I had a vague idea and she took it and turned it into this gorgeous work of art! And their crystals!!! I just… HEART EYES FOR DAYS! JUST LOOK AT THIS! Words cannot even properly express how much I love it. I’ve already ordered my print from Society6. If you love this piece as much as I do you can order it here. (You can order it as a print or phone case or bag or a number of other things!)

Rating: Explicit

World: Modern AU

Chapters: 8/?

Summary: Something sinister lives in the Jakku desert. Ask any local and they’ll give you a number of conspiracy theories. But ask Rey, the bartender at Plutt’s Bar, and she’ll tell you she doesn’t give a damn. That is, until the night Kylo and his Knights of Ren come rolling into town and bring nothing but trouble. Soon, she finds herself pulled into a world she never dreamed existed.

Excerpt:

He wanted her. Fuck.

How long had it been? Too long. Long enough to lose track of time.

Kylo kicked a rock with his steel-toed boot covered foot, sending it flying out across the highway in front of him. It clattered somewhere along the dark alley between the diner and gas station. The noise startled its surroundings. Something, a cat perhaps, stirred in the dark alley.

Glancing down at the cigarette in his hand, Kylo almost missed it. A black shape, too big to be a cat, rippled in the shadows between the buildings. Two red, glowing eyes blinked at him. Perhaps it was the trick of the desert air, but Kylo swore the thing stood up on its hind legs, as tall as a man. In a flash, it turned and was gone, disappearing into the night.

“Fuck,” Kylo hissed. “I need a drink.”

***Please do not remove caption or the artist’s credit!***

so uh

i seriously. really hate asking help. and i have asked for help so much but i cannot take it anymore. so hey, my name is aegis/kaden, im mentally ill (something my dad refuses to believe), bi, nb poc. i really, really need help more than ever. 

long story short, i turn 18 in october. my housing is up in the air after that. if i do not do as my abusive, hyperreligious, lgbtphobic parents want, ill get kicked out.so hey, my name is aegis/kaden, im mentally ill (something my dad refuses to believe), bi, nb poc. i really, really need help more than ever.

things have gotten really bad. im constantly suicidal and my depression has gotten much worse.  ive been physically abused (when i was younger), emotionally, mentally abused, and ive had enough. i cannot get a job as i cant drive (but im studying and going to take the test during spring break. im also working towards getting a job during the summer as well.)

i have asked for donations before but had to close them due to my parents finding them and forcing me to shut them down. im not making a youcaring as thats how they found me, but ill update how much i have.

im taking commissions. writing comms. nearly any fandom, 2$ per 500 words, 500 words minimum. no incest, pedo, etc.

my paypal is here if you dont want a commission, and you can email me @ fairychidea@gmail.com for comm details.

i really really need help. please boost or give if you can. i seriously cannot take it here, and if they are to kick me out in october, i need to have at least enough money for a motel. and if they dont, my plan is to move out in june 2019 with my boyfriend @gamestuck, after i graduate high school.

thanks for reading. plz boost if you can.

Compatibility: The Basics

First off, I am going to give you the disclaimer that all astrology bloggers love to give: astrology does not dictate exactly how well people get along. A person’s natal chart does not set into stone what the person’s personality or essence is, so it’s important not to take astrological compatibility too seriously. Even if you and your crush or partner are incompatible astrologically, it does not mean you cannot have a happy, healthy relationship.

Second, the best way to get full, proper insight into the compatibility between two people is to draw the synastry and composite charts for them. You can find chart generators for synastry and composite charts on astro.com in the Extended Chart Selection. I will discuss these charts further in a future post.

What signs are compatible?

Signs that form harmonious aspects are the most compatible. So, signs of the same element or of the same duality (except for the sign’s sister) are the most compatible.

Pairs between the same sign are also good, but not as strong as harmonious aspect pairs.

Different astrologers view the compatibility of sister signs differently. Personally, I believe that sister signs of the mutable and cardinal modalities are compatible, while the sister signs of the fixed modality are less compatible. However, this is very open to interpretation.

Signs that form square aspects are the trickiest. These are signs of the same modality, not including the sign’s sister.

Semisextile and inconjunct pairs are tricky, but not as tricky as the square pairs.

So, here are the signs that are most to least compatible for each sign (using the order: trine pairs, sextile pairs, same sign, sister sign, inconjunct, semisextile, and square):

  • ARIES: Sagittarius, Leo; Gemini, Aquarius; Aries; Libra; Virgo, Scorpio; Pisces, Taurus; Capricorn, Cancer
  • TAURUS: Virgo, Capricorn; Pisces, Cancer; Taurus; Scorpio; Libra, Sagittarius; Aries, Gemini; Leo, Aquarius
  • GEMINI: Aquarius, Libra; Aries, Leo; Gemini; Sagittarius; Capricorn, Scorpio; Cancer, Taurus; Virgo, Pisces
  • CANCER: Scorpio, Pisces; Virgo, Taurus; Cancer; Capricorn; Sagittarius, Aquarius; Leo, Gemini; Libra, Aries
  • LEO: Aries, Sagittarius; Gemini, Libra; Leo; Aquarius; Pisces, Capricorn; Cancer, Virgo; Taurus, Scorpio
  • VIRGO: Capricorn, Taurus; Scorpio, Cancer; Virgo; Pisces; Aries, Aquarius; Libra, Leo; Gemini, Sagittarius
  • LIBRA: Aquarius, Gemini; Leo, Sagittarius; Libra; Aries; Taurus, Pisces; Scorpio, Virgo; Cancer, Capricorn
  • SCORPIO: Pisces, Cancer; Capricorn, Virgo; Scorpio; Taurus; Aries, Gemini; Sagittarius, Libra; Leo, Aquarius
  • SAGITTARIUS: Aries, Leo; Libra, Aquarius; Sagittarius; Gemini; Cancer, Taurus; Capricorn, Scorpio; Pisces, Virgo
  • CAPRICORN: Virgo, Taurus; Scorpio, Pisces; Capricorn; Cancer; Leo, Gemini; Aquarius, Sagittarius; Libra, Aries
  • AQUARIUS: Gemini, Libra; Aries, Sagittarius; Aquarius; Leo; Virgo, Cancer; Capricorn, Pisces; Scorpio, Taurus
  • PISCES: Cancer, Scorpio; Capricorn, Taurus; Pisces; Virgo; Leo, Libra; Aries, Aquarius; Sagittarius, Gemini

What placements do I use?

Of course, you can’t just use sun sign-sun sign compatibility! Figure out your placements and the placements of your partner/crush, and look at interplanetary compatibility. For example, if you are a Virgo sun, Gemini moon, Libra Venus and your partner is a Sagittarius sun, Taurus moon, Capricorn Venus - you have strong sun x moon compatibility and sun x Venus compatibility because Sagittarius sun is compatible with Gemini moon and Libra Venus, and Virgo sun is compatible with Taurus moon and Capricorn Venus. Here are my favorite planets to compare when it comes to compatibility:

  • Sun x Sun - how well your personalities work together
  • Sun x Moon - how well you balance or understand each other’s emotions and meet each other’s needs
  • Moon x Venus - romantic and emotional compatibility
  • Sun x Venus - romantic, feminine attraction
  • Sun x Mars - sexual, masculine attraction
  • Mars x Venus - physical and romantic compatibility
  • Mars x Mars - sexual compatibility
  • Venus x Venus - romantic compatibility
  • Rising x Venus - initial attraction
  • Sun x descendant - general attraction
  • Juno x Sun - long term attraction

So not to interrupt this Yuri on Ice content with… more Yuri on Ice content, but: Most Relatable Duality of Yuuri Katsuki Mood for me is hands-down that interplay between his ever-fluctuating self-worth and his pride.

Like. I cannot stop picturing him pre-competition, the oncoming psychological death spiral glaringly obvious to everyone who’s ever met him. The only times he doesn’t look 100% catatonic is when he’s making ‘jokes’ to Phichit like “Ha ha, if you don’t want to be seen with me afterwards I totally understand, hahaha.”

And then one of the Americans breezes over like, “Hey, Katsuki, can I give you some advice? Try not to take this seriously. Just have fun.”

The temperature drops like 12 degrees and Yuuri grows about 2 inches in height as he draws himself out of his slouch. His stare focuses and zeroes in. The only audible sound is an onlooker swallowing.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Craig,” he says, and then spite-skates to silver.

(And Phichit swears to this day that he can’t remember tweeting “CRAIG JUST ALMOST BECAME AN EX-CRAIG.”)

Picture this:

Grandpa Plisetsky bringing 10-yr-old Yuri to St. Petersburg, getting him set up in his dorm (or wherever kids live when they move to new cities alone).

“Yurochka, I have a surprise for you. A gift so you don’t get lonely.”

“What is it?????”

*pulls cat from behind his back*

Yuri is overjoyed, of course. Gramps asks what he’s going to name him.

Baby Yuri takes a good long look at the kitten and then says, very seriously, with conviction, “Puma Tiger Scorpion.”

Gramps: “…How about Potya for short.”

PSA

if i 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️💁‍♀️ see 👀 one 1️⃣ more thing about “zendaya 💁🏽‍♀️ is meechie 🤠🔥” on my dashboard 🤧🤧 i am going to absolutely 😡😡😡fucking lose 🤮🤮🤮it. “zendaya💁🏽‍♀️ is meechy🔥🔥🔥💞” or whatever👀👀 the fuck it’s called is not funny 😂😂😂 at all😩. There is literally nothing 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️about it that’s 🗣funny👀👅😝😝. All you’re 💩doing is showing 🗣🗣🗣how easily tumblr🙏 libs👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 jump 🏃‍♂️all over😎 something bc “LOL 😂😂big man 🤧say something not make🍭 sense 😇😫😫HURR DURR🤓”. Stop trying to to push 👊✊your weird fucking LGBT 👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍👩‍👧👨‍👨‍👧propaganda 🏛down everyone’s 👀throats😡😡. i cannot fucking 🍆🍑take this bullshit 💩💩anymore and i am about 💀💀to seriously go off my shit💩☠️ so stop 🚫🚫reblogging this dumb ass🍑 fucking video 😡thank u very much!! 💞☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️