Hey guys! So, I wanted to make this post for a long time. Sometimes we are our own enemies and it’s so easy to get caught in fighting against yourself, and I want to be a new person and become someone that is content with who they are. A part of me wants to look back on this when I am feeling bad again and read everything I have written here, like a little reminder of my own, you know? With that, I hope you walk away feeling okay and content, like I hope to do, because that is my goal: for all of us to be okay with ourselves and our lives even on days when it feels like it won’t be.
Be proud of your art, because it matters.
Whatever you choose to create, know that is great and you should not look to others to find what is inside of yourself. So often, it is as if you look around and feel you are not good enough, because you may feel you are behind the curve of others you admire. But, in a way, that is perfectly okay to be behind the curve. Every writer, artist, poet, dancer, and singer did not start with an abundance of skill. They worked at what they loved to create to become your inspiration. Take personal notes from them and find who you want to be as a creator, on your own terms. And down the line, when you become who you want to be, you can become someone else’s inspiration. Where that begins is being proud of what you create, and finding the confidence within you to be your own great writer, your own great singer, or your own great poet. First and foremost, be your own inspiration. Be your first inspiration because it matters. Create your art because it matters.
It is okay to be alone.
For the longest time, alone and lonely have been exclusive to each other. And that is not true. Loneliness sucks. It is one of the worst feelings to have nobody to truly reach out to when you have a bad day, or even a great day. Loneliness is the feeling when you walk around and feel as though you are the only one in the world without someone to share your stories with, your words, your passions. But, aside from the pain of being lonely, you have the opportunity to be alone with yourself and love it. Find what makes you great on your own. I am not saying that you should not be understandably upset because you are lonely, but maybe it is a sign that you need to become the best version of yourself first. Find what is making you unhappy alone, and change it. That way, when you meet others, you will be the greatest you possible. Just remember, it is okay to be alone. It is okay to be alone at home on a Friday night, to eat at a restaurant alone, and to go to a movie alone. The best company is yourself, because nobody can or will know you better than you.
Don’t doubt your positivity/optimism.
There were so many moments in 2016 that questioned your faith, your beliefs, your hope, and your optimism. With everything that went wrong, personally or externally, it was hard to feel the space of your comfort being shaken, but that’s okay. You stayed strong through to this year, and that is what is important. Be optimistic for the future. Do not believe hope ends when there are moments of doubt and struggle. See the good in people, in unfortunate events, in life. Sometimes that space of comfort needs to be stirred to rattle that optimism inside you, to light the fire that keeps you optimistic, and to motivate you. So let it be stirred. Keep that fire alive.
It is okay to fail, or not achieve perfection.
Perfection is impossible. Nobody is perfect. You may look at someone from the outside and see perfection, but there is always something someone is fighting, no matter how small or big that thing is. And I understand. Failing sucks. It is horrible to feel inadequate at something or feel less than because you slipped and fell. It’s as though you can’t get up without the shadow of that failure beside you. Don’t believe in that. Your failures and imperfections are there to remind you that you are simply you and there is nobody in the world who does something once and instantly gets it right. That is impossible, just like perfection. Nobody is instantly great at everything they try at. And that is the whole point of failure: the act of trying. If you’re trying, you’re doing something.
Who you are throughout your life is not completely defined by what is out there.
I am talking about strangers, celebrities, media, and even family and friends. You are not your parents, or your friends, or celebrities. You have tons of opportunities to be your own person, with your own thoughts and feelings about what is going on around you. You have a way to make in the world, and it is only made through where you choose to go. Nothing in a magazine, movie, or someone else’s words can or should change how you feel about yourself, or change who you are as a person. When you wake up, you are yourself, so it is important to know who you are and not let things outside of your own influence take you down. It’s unhealthy and a disservice to yourself. Don’t rely so much on what is outside of yourself, because you live in one set of skin your whole life. Don’t spend it worrying about fitting into a box created by something or someone else.
They are out there.
Yes, they. The people that will understand you and love who you are. They will find you, or you will find them. It may take a bit of waiting, but it will be worth it. Maybe “they” are friends, or significant others, or maybe even family, but the point is to know that you won’t be alone forever. You’re not gonna keep your emotions, your passions, or your thoughts inside of yourself forever. You’ll find the ones that will be glad to listen, who will love to hear from you, and will be glad you are beside them. Like I said, it may take some waiting, but nothing worthwhile is instantly gratified.
You won’t notice it.
You won’t realize things have changed until they have already been changed. While sadness seems to remind you of its presence, happiness can blindside us. Once you’ve achieved what you want to achieve and done the things you’ve set out to do, you won’t understand it has gotten better and you have moved on until you’re already moving. As I said before, be patient; instant gratification is never as good as people say it feels. That moment where you look back and realize you’re in a better place than before is coming, and it’s gonna feel fucking great.
There will be shitty times. But, you are gonna be okay.
It’s easy to fall into believing things won’t be okay. Maybe it’s the day you’ve been having, or the people around you are bringing you down. And yes, things will be shitty for awhile. Whether that “awhile” is a few minutes, a few days, or a few months. But, you should not forget things will be okay, and you are gonna be okay. You have everything you need inside of yourself, even if it feels like you don’t in those shitty moments. Don’t let yourself fall into a space where you believe you won’t be okay, because you will. Things will be okay. For all of my hallmark advice and words that could be put on a self-help card, you will find the friends, moments, and everything in between that will remind you it all will be okay.