no harm in giving up

Why all of the Disney princesses are awesome

Snow White

- was a survivor of attempted murder, and was resilient to not let that horrid and traumatizing event bring her down or let it ruin her life

- was a victim of emotional abuse, and didn’t let the abuse get to her

- would save a baby bird from danger and make sure it found it’s parents

- knows how to hold a rocking party with friends

Cinderella

- survivor of emotional abuse from her stepmom and stepsisters for many years, and stayed kind towards others

- despite her family treating her so wrongly and poorly, she just wanted to spend a night with them and have fun with them, and just be like a normal family “ Prince Charming, who “ ?????

- she’s sassy as fuck “ Well I don’t want to interrupt their “music lesson “ during her stepsisters bad singing

- even though she had a short time to be at the ball, she was grateful for the opportunity anyways

Aurora

- Gives up her happiness, to perform her duty as a princess for her kingdom and her kingdom’s future and knows that she must do her job as a princess. That’s pretty brave and selfless.

- that gorgeous blonde curly hair !!!!

Ariel

- she’s the first Princess that goes forward to make her dreams come true, rather than just wishing, hoping and waiting.

- she’s adventurous, curious, loves to explore, learn about new things and new cultures and new world

- she’s the first Princess to save her love interest, but once, but twice

Belle

- different, odd and a misfit from the common crowd and gives no fucks

- “ Women shouldn’t read “ Well shut the fuck up, I’m going to do what I love and enjoy anyways.

- takes no bullshit. You are a asshole ? Got no time for that. She’s outtie.

- sees the good within people, but is also isn’t naive, she knows that some people are just plain monsters, through and through.

Jasmine

- will stand up for her rights, and won’t be pushed around

- is quick, sharp, intelligent and a fast learner

-wants to learn more about the outside world and her people

-if you try and lie to her or manipulate her or treat her like she’s a fool, she’s not having that shit

Pocahontas

-will fight for her people, her family, her world, her home, her culture

- she’s the first princess to save the day, not the guy, not a male sidekick, she’s the one the saves the day, while Snow had the Dwarfs, Cinderella had her mice friends, Aurora had Prince Phillip, Ariel had Eric, and Jasmine had Aladdin. ( Belle is debatable imo )

- loves the earth and nature and will protect it from harm

Mulan

- she saves China, I mean, come on

- she never gives up, no matter what. If she fails, she will just try even harder to succeed and will find a way on how can succeed.

- brave, determined, strong mentally and physically, a kind friend

-teaches girls that it’s okay if you haven’t found yourself yet- if you don’t give up, one day you will, and you will conquer

- pushes gender norms

- another female princess that saves the day, not her male love interest, or sidekicks, is also the first princess to defeat the villian in battle, like a previous male character like Phillip or Eric would

Tiana

- is hard-working, and never gives up on her dreams, and will work hard to get there

- teaches that dreams are done by sweating your butt off, giving up on fun sometimes, sometimes having to work more than one job, than just wishing and hoping, you have to take action, and make that dream happen

-ambitious and smart and realistic

- teaches that you shouldn’t take a short-cut, find a lazy option, cheat or gamble your way to success, the only to get there is through hard work and effort

- again,another badass princess that saves the day on her own

Rapunzel

- is kind to everybody

- is cheerful, positive, warm and supportive towards others, even people who seem “scary “, she knows inside, that we all have dreams

-is brave enough to step outside her  zone and new and strange places and territories

- anger her by harming one of her loved ones and she will fucking tear you apart

- a talented artist

Anna and Elsa

- teaches girls that family love is just as important than romance love, if not more so

- Anna goes through a abusive relationship and isn’t put off love forever, she learns her lesson, doesn’t let Hans bad treatment of her ruin her or let her become a toxic person, like he was, and moves on with a better man, and a healthier relationship

- Elsa goes through basically being locked up with lack of other human contact, fearing her powers and fearing what other people think of, to come out as better and stronger person

- Elsa teaches that sometimes its best not let what others think of you, and just say “ fuck it “ and just be yourself and be free

- Anna teaches the difference between a unhealthy relationship (whirlwind romance,quickly trusting people, getting into a deep relationship with somebody you don’t even know )  and healthy one ( somebody who gives you his jacket when you are cold, holds you close when you are scared, is worried about your well-being, getting to know somebody first before leaping in, somebody who asks for your consent before kissing you, will do anything to make sure you are safe and okay )

Moana

- will do anything for her island and people and make sure they’ll all okay

- her leadership skills are A++

- no “ you are forced to marry this boy so you can become his queen”, BS, Moana is the future leader

- is brave to fear the unknown waters, learn new skills, and battle monsters

- is understanding, and understands why somebody acts the way that they do

- is extremely independent


in short, they are all awesome, even the three originals.

8

Royai Week 2017- Catalyst

Riza I know you meant no harm but I’m pretty sure you should give a guy a heads up before you knock his socks off like that? Now you have to deal with this for the rest of your life XD

Traits That Mark Sam as a (Covert) Narcissist

–Sam is ever hungry for affirmation and he demands Dean provide for his ever growing appetite. He does not seem to have a problem using emotional blackmail to accomplish this.

–Sam is hyper-vigilant toward any real or implied criticism. To the point of even the policing thoughts of those he suspects may be thinking unfavorably about him.

–Sam demands trust, but does not connect his right to it with his ability to be trustworthy. He sees it as something he’s owed because he needs it; completely disconnected from his own actions.

–Sam shows little to no awareness of or concern for how his behavior has or will impact others. If it’s ever pointed out to him, he takes this as an act of aggression and either plays the victim or demands silence/absolution.

–Sam changes the focus of any given issue to be about his own worries, fears, or needs. Only focusing on others in relation to how they are serving or failing to serve one of those things.

–Sam struggles and is generally unable to empathize with anyone without being able to directly project his situation or feelings onto them. He takes this projection as truth, disregarding anything the person may actually need or feel.

–Sam rarely takes responsibility for his own actions, but shifts blame either partially or entirely onto others. He does not seem to have a problem using emotional blackmail in order to accomplish this.

–Even when he bemoans them, Sam speaks about the consequences of his behavior as something that’s happened TO him, erasing his own role in causing what has happened.

–Sam can dish out criticism and reprimand with ease (often, freely and harshly), but he cannot take any (even a watered down version) in return. He falls apart or becomes enraged even if said criticism is constructive and is delivered in a manner that is soft, understated, or even simply implied.

–It rarely occurs to Sam to offer comfort of any kind. He’s much more focused in on ensuring the person is feeling how Sam thinks they ought to feel and responding as Sam would like them to. This he will expend great energy on, but only very rarely will he offer comforting or loving words or actions.

–Sam continually connects Dean dying to losing the support HE needs, not to Dean’s worth as a person, or even to Dean’s value to him, just for being who Dean is.

–In the aftermath of a bad choice or decision, Sam shows little to no care for or desire to comfort those hurt by his actions. Their pain is rarely addressed or even acknowledged. He instead becomes consumed with correcting their, now poor, image of him through any means possible, including emotional blackmail if necessary.

–Sam consistently lies to those around him (Jess, Dean, Amelia, Bobby, ect), particularly about anything he’s doing they may disagree with, anything that may lead to disapproval. (And to connect this with an earlier point, Sam does not see his lies as an obstacle for them trusting him).

–Sam often demands or feels entitled to treatment, he is not willing to reciprocate. For example, the complete and immediate absolution of anything he does to hurt or betray another.

–Sam hurts or harms others, but then plays the victim when the person he’s harmed responds poorly to his behavior/treatment, painting them as the aggressor for their poor reaction.

–In fact, Sam has a huge victim complex overall, framing his feelings and problems as the most pitiable, even when it is inappropriate to do so.

–Sam has a smug sense of superiority that wars directly with his own rampant insecurities.

–Sam is easily manipulated by foes through the threatening of or bolstering of his ego, particularly his “powerfulness” and “ability” to do great things (Ruby and demon blood, reopening the cage, BMoL, ect).

Overall, Sam is more concerned with how he is perceived, than how he actually acts and behaves. This includes how Sam perceives himself and how he is perceived by those around him. He becomes incredibly distressed at even the slightest hint that he’s not being perceived well. He is hyper-vigilant about what others are thinking about him, even if they are treating him with overt affection and support. He is willing to do truly risky, immoral, and harmful things (to himself and others) in order to feel secure in his desired perception of self, which he sustains through how he’s seen by others.

Much of his behavior is dictated by this struggle to control how he is seen, causing him at times to deny reality and what he knows, because the need to control that is so great. It is why he struggles with respecting emotional boundaries, demonstrated empathy, and supporting others. He wants others to see him as strong, capable, reliable, and great. But he’s  so focused on the image of those things, he is unable to consider or account for the reality of them. He wants the label so much, the need is almost all consuming, yet he considers it not as something earned through his actions and attitudes, but something that is given to him. That is where all his energy and focus and effort goes (leaving little left over, even for people he loves).

He is filled with anxiety and fretfulness in his quest to maintain the image, and he often finds himself enraged or falling apart if/when he thinks he’s not getting the affirmation or people don’t have an overtly positive image of him (Sam, Interrupted explores this beautifully, but it’s also woven throughout the entire series). His response in such situations is usually to demand more affirmation or a suppression of any negative thoughts or criticism (often this demand is presented on the merit of his need, obtained through deception and manipulation, or aggression and threatening).

Sadly, like most narcissists, this leaves Sam forever unfulfilled. Because it doesn’t matter how much affirmation he is given. Or how well he manages to silence any critique. Somewhere inside he knows he does not truly match that image. And so the insecurity remains and the hunger/ dissatisfaction with it. To assuage that insecurity, he believes he needs MORE affirmation from others, more assurance that he matches the image.

This is the cycle of a narcissist.

heidi hansen noticing cuts on connors arms. heidi hansen asking about his life at home. heidi hansen seeing how big of a problem connors home life is. heidi hansen, after making sure evan is on board, telling connor to go home and get his stuff. heidi hansen taking good care of connor and getting him the help he needs. heidi hansen being a super helpful step in connors life. Heidi Hansen

Here’s the thing about the new canon.

Essentially they want us to watch the Original Trilogy, completely invested in the fact that our heroes will triumph, and then they want us to watch The Force Awakens and just be totally OK with the fact that everything we were just presented with over the course of three films is out the window.

They want Star Wars fans to spend several hours watching Han and Leia’s love story, watching them fight for each other, overcome personal obstacles to be together, make incredible sacrifices for each other–they want us to spend ESB and ROTJ rooting for them, want us to watch Han hold her close as they both smile at the end of the trilogy, want us to be happy and hopeful and thrilled that their true love has made it through–and then they want us to watch TFA and see that their marriage failed, and they want us to accept it.

They want us to get invested in our heroes–in Han and Luke and Leia–and desperately hope that they all make it through. They want us to be invested in their personal allegiances to one another to the point that we KNOW that Han will come back at the battle of Yavin for Luke and Leia, we KNOW that he’ll go out into freezing conditions to rescue Luke, we KNOW that he’ll run into Echo Base to rescue Leia on Hoth, we KNOW that Luke will ignore his Jedi Masters and abandon his training to go rescue Leia and Han on Bespin, we KNOW that Leia will risk her safety to go back for Luke at Cloud City, we KNOW that Luke and Leia will leave the rebellion and put themselves at risk to rescue Han, WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW. The new canon wants us to sit there KNOWING ALL THESE THINGS, knowing that they are the most important damn things in the galaxy to one another, knowing that they’re family and that they love each other. They want us to know it and be invested in it and root for it–root for the strength of that bond and that loyalty and root for them all to make it through together–for all of them to triumph together. And they do!

And then TFA wants us to COMPLETELY CHANGE OUR MINDS and accept that all of that is destroyed. That bond is broken. Luke has abandoned his friends for some reason. Han has left Leia. Leia is all alone. And not only has that crucial bond just been cast aside, but their triumphs have all been undone. Empire defeated?? Welcome to Empire 2.0!!! Death Stars destroyed??? Welcome to Death Star 3.0!!!! Vader redeemed???? Welcome to Vader 2.0, and even worse, he’s your own damn son/nephew AND he kills Han!!!!!! It just takes their victory and deconstructs every single piece of it, and the only possible way that that maybe could have been tolerable would have been if AT LEAST they were still together, still true to the loyalty we knew, unstoppable and united no matter what new dangers they face, and they’re NOT. The Original Trio, the most beloved and iconic characters of all time, are just completely leveled to NOTHING. Fractured and broken up and reduced to these miserable un-versions of themselves. And the new canon wants you, as a Star Wars fan to accept this, because “Don’t worry!! We have these three shiny NEW heroes for you!!!! They’ll get a happy ending for sure!!!!” But??? What??? I don’t give a shit about their ending, what about the ending we were already supposed to have had???? The one you made me hope for for three damn movies??? The one I was lead to believe was true???? What about that ending??????

No, they decided that they were going to go back thirty years after the fact and change it.

But wait, you say, how did this happen??? How could these people at Lucasfilm who were claiming to “protect” Star Wars destroy Luke and Leia and Han like that?? How could they write a Han Solo who abandons Leia to do all the fighting all alone when there’s a fascist regime routinely trying to kill her and their son is a part of it and her brother has vanished without a trace??? How could they write a Luke who’s evidently turned his back on the galaxy–on the FAMILY–that needs him??? How could they have DESTROYED LEIA’S WHOLE LIFE????? ALL of their lives???? And for seemingly no reason!!!! They could have easily written a movie to introduce the new characters and create conflict without dismantling every single thing about our beloved trio and their dynamic. But they didn’t. They slaughtered them.

And then you listen to these people speak. And they start saying things like Leia clearly could never have been an attentive mother because she was too preoccupied with politics and her career. Han could never have been happy settling down and committing to something–not even his family–so OBVIOUSLY he left and he’s smuggling again. Han and Leia were too incompatible and could never have worked. Luke is off in EXILE because AREN’T ALL JEDI MASTERS SUPPOSED TO BE IN EXILE???????????

And you’re just. You’re floored. You’re blown away. It’s like those people didn’t even fucking WATCH Star Wars. Did they completely miss the fact that Leia’s character arc is about learning to care about things that aren’t the rebellion, and learning to rely on people–not just herself???? Did they not see how much she’s already lost–LITERALLY HER ENTIRE WORLD–and how much she had to suffer before she finally got something that was hers again? Did they not see the hell she had to go through to get it???? Did they really think she would throw that away after all that–did they think that LEIA of all people couldn’t have balanced a career and a family????

Were they just twiddling their thumbs when HAN SOLO’S ENTIRE FREAKING STORY IS ABOUT REALIZING THAT HE’S NOT A SMUGGLER, NOT SELFISH, NOT THAT MAN ANYMORE–MAYBE NEVER REALLY WAS THAT MAN. LEARNING TO COMMIT–TO STAY WITH LEIA AND LUKE AND THE REBELS AND SACRIFICE HIMSELF IF NEED BE????? HIS ENTIRE GROWTH AS A CHARACTER WAS AWAY FROM SELFISHNESS AND FLIGHTINESS. HE BECAME A STEADFAST, BRAVE, DEPENDABLE MAN COMMITTED TO HIS FRIENDS AND HIS LOVE AND THE CAUSE. HOW DID THEY WATCH THOSE FILMS AND SAY “WELL HAN COULD NEVER SETTLE DOWN.”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did they not notice that Luke’s DEFINING characteristic throughout the original trilogy is his loyalty to his loved ones??? His utter refusal to let harm come to them–to give up on them?? His refusal to abandon them???? And then they want us to believe that he… abandoned them?????

So essentially the thing about the new canon is that people who don’t understand Star Wars are suddenly in charge of Star Wars, and they go back and ignore the characterization of three entire films and present us with material that is entirely contradictory of the original trilogy, and then they don’t understand why people have reacted negatively. 

And then of course you get fans screaming about how it’s REALISTIC this way.

When the fuck did you get the idea that Star Wars is supposed to be realistic??????? Star Wars is NOT about realism. It’s a Space Fairytale. An epic saga. It’s not supposed to be Game of Thrones grimdark jam in the tragedy. It was never like that for forty years. It was never presented that way. George Lucas was ADAMANT in making this point. And that’s why it resonated with so many people–that’s why it was such a success. Because it was uplifting. It was inspiring. It touched that part of our hearts where those fairytales live–where it’s possible for our heroes to go up against the forces of evil and WIN and have a happy ending. That’s why they gave Luke and Leia and Han the happy fucking ending!!!!

And the thing with the new canon is that they don’t care. They don’t care about “protecting Star Wars.” They don’t care about what Star Wars stands for. They don’t care about what George Lucas created. They care about money. They don’t want you to be invested in Han and Luke and Leia anymore. They want you to care about Finn and Rey and Poe, and apparently no one at Lucasfilm understood that they didn’t have to destroy the old characters to get people to like the new ones.

And for the record, just because the people delivering this truly appalling “new canon” horrorshow AU are Disney and Lucasfilm does NOT mean that I have to accept it all as true. They don’t understand Star Wars, they don’t care about it, they’re not its original creator, and I don’t have to accept a single thing they say.

That’s the thing about the new canon.