no harm in giving up

Why all of the Disney princesses are awesome

Snow White

- was a survivor of attempted murder, and was resilient to not let that horrid and traumatizing event bring her down or let it ruin her life

- was a victim of emotional abuse, and didn’t let the abuse get to her

- would save a baby bird from danger and make sure it found it’s parents

- knows how to hold a rocking party with friends


- survivor of emotional abuse from her stepmom and stepsisters for many years, and stayed kind towards others

- despite her family treating her so wrongly and poorly, she just wanted to spend a night with them and have fun with them, and just be like a normal family “ Prince Charming, who “ ?????

- she’s sassy as fuck “ Well I don’t want to interrupt their “music lesson “ during her stepsisters bad singing

- even though she had a short time to be at the ball, she was grateful for the opportunity anyways


- Gives up her happiness, to perform her duty as a princess for her kingdom and her kingdom’s future and knows that she must do her job as a princess. That’s pretty brave and selfless.

- that gorgeous blonde curly hair !!!!


- she’s the first Princess that goes forward to make her dreams come true, rather than just wishing, hoping and waiting.

- she’s adventurous, curious, loves to explore, learn about new things and new cultures and new world

- she’s the first Princess to save her love interest, but once, but twice


- different, odd and a misfit from the common crowd and gives no fucks

- “ Women shouldn’t read “ Well shut the fuck up, I’m going to do what I love and enjoy anyways.

- takes no bullshit. You are a asshole ? Got no time for that. She’s outtie.

- sees the good within people, but is also isn’t naive, she knows that some people are just plain monsters, through and through.


- will stand up for her rights, and won’t be pushed around

- is quick, sharp, intelligent and a fast learner

-wants to learn more about the outside world and her people

-if you try and lie to her or manipulate her or treat her like she’s a fool, she’s not having that shit


-will fight for her people, her family, her world, her home, her culture

- she’s the first princess to save the day, not the guy, not a male sidekick, she’s the one the saves the day, while Snow had the Dwarfs, Cinderella had her mice friends, Aurora had Prince Phillip, Ariel had Eric, and Jasmine had Aladdin. ( Belle is debatable imo )

- loves the earth and nature and will protect it from harm


- she saves China, I mean, come on

- she never gives up, no matter what. If she fails, she will just try even harder to succeed and will find a way on how can succeed.

- brave, determined, strong mentally and physically, a kind friend

-teaches girls that it’s okay if you haven’t found yourself yet- if you don’t give up, one day you will, and you will conquer

- pushes gender norms

- another female princess that saves the day, not her male love interest, or sidekicks, is also the first princess to defeat the villian in battle, like a previous male character like Phillip or Eric would


- is hard-working, and never gives up on her dreams, and will work hard to get there

- teaches that dreams are done by sweating your butt off, giving up on fun sometimes, sometimes having to work more than one job, than just wishing and hoping, you have to take action, and make that dream happen

-ambitious and smart and realistic

- teaches that you shouldn’t take a short-cut, find a lazy option, cheat or gamble your way to success, the only to get there is through hard work and effort

- again,another badass princess that saves the day on her own


- is kind to everybody

- is cheerful, positive, warm and supportive towards others, even people who seem “scary “, she knows inside, that we all have dreams

-is brave enough to step outside her  zone and new and strange places and territories

- anger her by harming one of her loved ones and she will fucking tear you apart

- a talented artist

Anna and Elsa

- teaches girls that family love is just as important than romance love, if not more so

- Anna goes through a abusive relationship and isn’t put off love forever, she learns her lesson, doesn’t let Hans bad treatment of her ruin her or let her become a toxic person, like he was, and moves on with a better man, and a healthier relationship

- Elsa goes through basically being locked up with lack of other human contact, fearing her powers and fearing what other people think of, to come out as better and stronger person

- Elsa teaches that sometimes its best not let what others think of you, and just say “ fuck it “ and just be yourself and be free

- Anna teaches the difference between a unhealthy relationship (whirlwind romance,quickly trusting people, getting into a deep relationship with somebody you don’t even know )  and healthy one ( somebody who gives you his jacket when you are cold, holds you close when you are scared, is worried about your well-being, getting to know somebody first before leaping in, somebody who asks for your consent before kissing you, will do anything to make sure you are safe and okay )


- will do anything for her island and people and make sure they’ll all okay

- her leadership skills are A++

- no “ you are forced to marry this boy so you can become his queen”, BS, Moana is the future leader

- is brave to fear the unknown waters, learn new skills, and battle monsters

- is understanding, and understands why somebody acts the way that they do

- is extremely independent

in short, they are all awesome, even the three originals.

Canonization of Gruvia. (A massive collection of notable moments)

Normally I talk about chapters, but this time since my OTP is now canon, I’m going to talk about them more exclusively.

Note, this post isn’t necessarily about their own development (many other gruvia fans have already taken care of that portion), but rather this is just an examples of some key moments of this beautiful ship before they entered into canonization) 

I think it’s pretty clear at this point that Gray has feelings for Juvia at this point of the stage.



Let’s backtrack shall we?

Obviously Juvia has feelings for them ever since they met here. People say, that Juvia fell in love with Gray because of his looks, but I’d say she fell in love with not only his looks but also his courage to stand up for his comrades, more.

Juvia went from being angry to Gray’s words about saving Lucy, to falling in love with him ever again here, when he saved her from the rain, and showed her shine.

While Juvia wasn’t very close to Gray at this stage,  Gray was pissed at the notion of her being attacked by Simon.

When Juvia requested Makarov for joining, this is Gray’s face.

See how happy he is?

Behind that cool attitude armor of his, shows his true self.

First chapter cover of them featured:

Gray, Juvia’s going on a mission:

Gruvia parade

Here in other portion of the events, we see an edolas version of gruvia

to a beautiful unison raid, one of the sweetest moments of display in combining magic of compatibility in a anime only arc

Originally posted by sneakybree

Juvia was the only to believe Gray is innocent and trapping Natsu for a reason, not even Cana (Gray’s own best friend) believed him. Juvia did.

Gray worried about Juvia’s own progress and status

See Loke’s face? He’s basically blushing at seeing Gray worry about Juvia when he should be worried about himself.

Meredy’s magic showing how powerful emotions are between two characters. Considering how Juvia and Gray have strong feelings for each other, Meredy’s magic worked. Otherwise it wouldn’t have if their feelings toward each other weren’t strong.

Juvia being enraged at the thought of her lover being in danger

The moments they shared depict Gray teaching Juvia how to eat here. (Let’s not forget the fact that a married couple (bisca x alzack) were blushing at the sight of seeing this)

and range from Juvia saving Gray from the enemy

to Gray saving Juvia from the enemy

Deep powerful moments. Juvia showing how intellectual and a quick thinker, to Gray showing how he can outwit his enemy and save his loved one. Even instinctly going as far as giving up his own body to save his lover from harm.

Carrying Juvia when she’s hurt.

to shouldering each other’s injuries

Some Jelly Juvia, since Gray was in line to get treated for his wounds by nurse Erza  :>

Now GMG Arc is where we get sufficient amount of moments between Gray and Juvia.

First we got a sign of jelly Gray :>

This shows that Gray first the time is annoyed at a female guild member being taken away from him. 

To putting matters into his own hands

Spawning a cover where they are going to get more canonical moments.

From Gray’s own sister figure talking about his feelings

Telling him to be more open. and ofc a sign of blushy gray and his tsunderism.

His brother telling him to marry Juvia already, telling him to give him the date for marriage.

To some Gruvia teamwork,and Gray trusting Juvia in her powers

While Juvia nods in approval, they show a canonical unison raid this time.

and succeed, holding each other’s hands with a smile.

See how comfortable Gray looks in the spur of this moment?

casual gruvia

In the aftermath, we see Gray saving Juvia from her death,  a very powerful moment from dragon kids.

After Gray was thankfully saved by Ultear, we see Gray bluntly speaking to Juvia about his wants. Ofc, I’d say it’s more and less comedic relief, and I have no problem, because negative moments eventually turn into positive.

Juvia reprimands Gray for showing a sulky mood, and requests him to please smile for his family.

Gray eating Juvia’s cookies. Gray’s annoyed at the thought of any one else eating her baked delicious food, and offers to eat.

With a hilarious conclusion ofc.

Onto Tartaros arc

Gray, Juvia are on a side mission to collect information about missing people’s whereabouts.

Now here’s another powerful moment of Gray holding a scared Juvia’s hands, and telling him to not worry as he’s by her side.

Cute Juvia, not letting her love get any harm.

Now, we see an enraged Juvia once again at the thought of hearing that Gray’s life is in danger

Let us appreciate that one of the largest panel was given to Juvia in regards to Gray remembering his loved ones when commiting IS. Yes, Juvia’s panel was even bigger than Ur.

Gray’s own father, calling Juvia his woman and entrusting her in the power of killing Keith the necromancer so he can RIP peacefully.

Juvia calling Silver her father :D

The power of Juvia’s feelings and strength and someone who will not let her father law’s request go in vain.

Silver giving his blessings to Juvia, and telling her to take care of his son.

Juvia wants to see her Gray-sama.

So here we see Juvia confronting Gray about his [s]their[/s] father


After a brief tug, Gray thanks Juvia, and doesn’t let her go. Juvia was about to move on, when apologizing but it was GRAY HIMSELF that grabbed her and needed to be comforted. Silver had to go, because he would’ve been tortured by Keith, and his spirit would have not RIP if Juvia didn’t kill Keith. 

One of the more powerful moments for Gruvia IMO

Moving on

Some key moments in an omake

Chapter cover

Natsu ships them.

Juvia made a scarf for her Gray-sama on the celebration of their 413th anniversary (the combined days of when they first met :D)

Gray and Juvia meet. Keep in mind, Gray is mourning for Ul’s death anniversary and Juvia is unaware of it.

While an intoxicated Gray (he was drinking) threw her gift say, stating ice mages don’t grow cold, he apologizes.

Gray remembers the first time UL knitted him her scarf as a kid.

Gray realizes what he’s done, and desperately tries to find the Juvia made scarf he threw away

and proceeds to wear it, in a cute tsunderish expression, stating he feels warm now.

Gray once again apologizes, and Juvia is excited to see he has her scarf around his neck, ending in a hilarious sequence of a body  :D

On a sidenote, my favourite cover. My babies sleeping side by side.

Onto Avatar arc

We know from this fact that Gray and Juvia lived together (JUST THE TWO OF THEM) in one small distant house.

Imagine that! They lived together as husband and wife practically under in one roof, eating together, training together, and sleeping under one roof. Imagine that. 

See in my view, this is where Gray started to get closer to Juvia and now knows her more. When you’re living together for over half a year, you get to know the strength, weakness and knowledge of the person. You become closer emotionally to that person. Keep in mind, there was no one else around Gray and Juvia, so it was strictly them. So basically they were part of conversation they had around that timespan, period.

You see Juvia became sick through the rain with fever even though water magic. This shows strongly devoted to Gray to a point that her advantage over rain was useless when she found out he was away for a long time.

Juvia sensed that Gray was fighting enemies, and got there in time. Here he apologizes for his departure, and they battle together.

and look at that, Juvia even got his stripping habit! I think this is a great tribute to Ul, and a nice idea Mashima implemented. They are known as the stripping couple thanks to Ul. :)

and ofc Gray apologizes once aain for his actions, assuring Juvia who’s happy as long as he’s safe.

and ofc jelly Juvia :>

Another powerful moment incoming.

Gray offers to treat Juvia

Gray thanks Juvia for always being by his side.

States that after war is over, He’ll give her an answer

The 6 months of living together has brought them more closer than ever, and now Gray is more open about his feelings.

cuties posing

G x J on Gray’s boxers, huehuehuehue

cuties x2

Unfortunately, Gray and Juvia are now tied via ice chains, and about to fight to the death. Notice Juvia’s words in the last panel.

Such tragic case of events, they are forced to fight to the death. Juvia refusely is trying to resist, while Gray is doing the same.

Juvia stating, she can not harm Gray anymore, and is willing to give up her own life. Stating how happy she is to ever meet  Gray. *cries*

and here comes a twist, Gray does the same thing! He also commits suicide at the same moment and time Juvia does, stabbing himself with a ice sword. So basically both would rather die than harm each other. Such a powerful profound message and feelings of intense mutual love of this couple shown for one another

Gray was willing to give up his own mission of destroying END for Juvia’s sake. Both of them were willing to give up many years of their lives for each other. If this isn’t love, then I don’t know what is. srsly.

Gray states he wants to protect Juvia at any cost.. Notice how Gray was about to say  comrade, then crossed that out, and said “you”. Meaning Juvia is more than just a comrade for Gray. 

This is beautiful. Romeo and Juliet esque.

Juvia saves Gray’s life by giving him, her blood.

Juvia saying she’s now part of him with her blood. This is beautiful. Juvia thought this much about Gray’s life that she taught herself this magic just in case Gray’s life was in danger. Look how much she cares for Grays’ well being. She’s the perfect woman for Gray. and as a huge fan of Gray from the start, I’m proud of the fact that he’s developing feelings for the right girl.

Gray’s so distraught. Look how emotionally effected Gray is. He’s crying his heart out. Poor guy : ( He lost to so many of his family members, and now he’s lost his most closest loved one. Begging Juvia to open her eyes, bawling his eyes filled with tears, screaming her name :(

enraged Gray, about to unleash the demon in him.

We get a cute panel of the couple.

Gray’s so pissed about Juvia’s demise, that he’s only hurling grunting sounds.

Gray doesn’t care about Invel, he cares about how Invel stole away his future.

Look how vulnerable, heart broken and pain Gray’s eyes are :( He’s shattered in mind and physically. He’s no longer the same here. This is what lead to him getting out of control against END, because the trauma of seeing another close loved one of his dying infront of him, was too much for his mind to bear. He was no longer the same person.

Once Gray found out Juvia’s alive while she utters his name, he utters back her name and  falls down with immense gravitated pressure. While down, he’s fiinally he’s in peace, resting, in full relief that he doesn’t need to over exert himself now that Juvia’s alive His mind is in peace, he’s smiling. Juvia is also in full relief that her Gray-sama is fine, and falls right at him lol.

Gray reassuring to himself, that he needs to apologize about Juvia. See how open he is, he doesn’t even care if his comrades are there lol.

Before the canonization scene, I would like to remind everyone once again, of how Gray reacts to Juvia from earlier moments, to recently when she tries to get closer to him.

It started from this:

to this

God bless character development. God bless this pairing. God bless character change. Gray is openly smiling while being close to Juvia while she embraces him. This is the happiest Gray has ever been in these two panels, than he’s ever been before. He’s loving life.

Here comes the canonization last scenes of this pairing. First we see Gray being jealous at a drunk craved Juvia, and quickly drags her away. Would Gray reacted if that was Erza, Lucy, or any of his other comrades? HELL NO. At tleast not to that extent, of personally dragging a woman from that mess.

Gray is talking about scars, Juvia has one, and Gray wants to get rid of it, but Juvia doesn’t mind. Not only does Juvia have Gray’s stripping habits, but now she has his scars as well lol.

Now here comes the CONFESSION! Juvia says what about her body?? GRAY CONFESSES THAT IT”S HIS. THERE”S NO MAYBE, HE CLEARLY BLURTS OUT IT”S HIS IN THE OPEN!!! Gray wants Juvia and her body. Infact he wants to sleep with her with this implication. 

Look at Wendy, she knows what’s going on. This is the best we’ll see out of Gray, a blushy tsundere Gray’s own confession. He’s not the type of guy who’ll straight up say I love you or hug a woman like that, this is just Gray in character! :D.

This essentially makes GRUvIA CANON!!!!  

Sure, it could’ve been better with all of that teasing and buildup  but we still got an amazing moment! and for that we should cherish it for our OTP!

Small rant:

For those antis, do you read while having your eyes closed? How do you ignore the developments, panels, and strong feelings they have for each other? you are in denial. You are in denial of Gray’s character. It’s truly idiotic that you believe he’s acting out of character, it just means you don’t know a single thing about him. You just want to  ship him with another girl because you don’t like Juvia.  You don’t know Gray’s character at all all if you think he’s acting OOC. This is Gray Fullbuster at his characterization.  This is Gray in love with his woman, so who gives you the right to bash Mashima about his own creations? Kindly close the door and get out :)

Gray’s happiness IS and will always be JUVIA. A true Gray fan knows that.




Originally posted by gifsme

Originally posted by i-alwayslikedstrangecharacters

Originally posted by black-jackal-on-blog

Note: I may have missed some key moments, so write them down in the notes, and I’ll edit and them in later.

I have not added the Gruvia moments in the second movie, because I haven’t watched it yet. 

Likes, and reblogs are appreciated! If you ship Gruvia, you will love this!

C’s Masterlist


Originally posted by ba1n3s

Keep reading

heidi hansen noticing cuts on connors arms. heidi hansen asking about his life at home. heidi hansen seeing how big of a problem connors home life is. heidi hansen, after making sure evan is on board, telling connor to go home and get his stuff. heidi hansen taking good care of connor and getting him the help he needs. heidi hansen being a super helpful step in connors life. Heidi Hansen


Royai Week 2017- Catalyst

Riza I know you meant no harm but I’m pretty sure you should give a guy a heads up before you knock his socks off like that? Now you have to deal with this for the rest of your life XD


♠ Tacenda ♠ - Part Eighteen (END) 

Part Seventeen<< >>Bonus 

A/N: We all reaches our limits at one point, from our own suffering. But sometimes, the demons inside of us, is also represented in the people we meet. 

But ending it, isn’t the best option. There are people who’s there for you, don’t give up. 

Warnings: (Winter) “Depression”, Anxiety, Stress, Self-harm, Body image, Suicide

Here’s the thing about the new canon.

Essentially they want us to watch the Original Trilogy, completely invested in the fact that our heroes will triumph, and then they want us to watch The Force Awakens and just be totally OK with the fact that everything we were just presented with over the course of three films is out the window.

They want Star Wars fans to spend several hours watching Han and Leia’s love story, watching them fight for each other, overcome personal obstacles to be together, make incredible sacrifices for each other–they want us to spend ESB and ROTJ rooting for them, want us to watch Han hold her close as they both smile at the end of the trilogy, want us to be happy and hopeful and thrilled that their true love has made it through–and then they want us to watch TFA and see that their marriage failed, and they want us to accept it.

They want us to get invested in our heroes–in Han and Luke and Leia–and desperately hope that they all make it through. They want us to be invested in their personal allegiances to one another to the point that we KNOW that Han will come back at the battle of Yavin for Luke and Leia, we KNOW that he’ll go out into freezing conditions to rescue Luke, we KNOW that he’ll run into Echo Base to rescue Leia on Hoth, we KNOW that Luke will ignore his Jedi Masters and abandon his training to go rescue Leia and Han on Bespin, we KNOW that Leia will risk her safety to go back for Luke at Cloud City, we KNOW that Luke and Leia will leave the rebellion and put themselves at risk to rescue Han, WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW. The new canon wants us to sit there KNOWING ALL THESE THINGS, knowing that they are the most important damn things in the galaxy to one another, knowing that they’re family and that they love each other. They want us to know it and be invested in it and root for it–root for the strength of that bond and that loyalty and root for them all to make it through together–for all of them to triumph together. And they do!

And then TFA wants us to COMPLETELY CHANGE OUR MINDS and accept that all of that is destroyed. That bond is broken. Luke has abandoned his friends for some reason. Han has left Leia. Leia is all alone. And not only has that crucial bond just been cast aside, but their triumphs have all been undone. Empire defeated?? Welcome to Empire 2.0!!! Death Stars destroyed??? Welcome to Death Star 3.0!!!! Vader redeemed???? Welcome to Vader 2.0, and even worse, he’s your own damn son/nephew AND he kills Han!!!!!! It just takes their victory and deconstructs every single piece of it, and the only possible way that that maybe could have been tolerable would have been if AT LEAST they were still together, still true to the loyalty we knew, unstoppable and united no matter what new dangers they face, and they’re NOT. The Original Trio, the most beloved and iconic characters of all time, are just completely leveled to NOTHING. Fractured and broken up and reduced to these miserable un-versions of themselves. And the new canon wants you, as a Star Wars fan to accept this, because “Don’t worry!! We have these three shiny NEW heroes for you!!!! They’ll get a happy ending for sure!!!!” But??? What??? I don’t give a shit about their ending, what about the ending we were already supposed to have had???? The one you made me hope for for three damn movies??? The one I was lead to believe was true???? What about that ending??????

No, they decided that they were going to go back thirty years after the fact and change it.

But wait, you say, how did this happen??? How could these people at Lucasfilm who were claiming to “protect” Star Wars destroy Luke and Leia and Han like that?? How could they write a Han Solo who abandons Leia to do all the fighting all alone when there’s a fascist regime routinely trying to kill her and their son is a part of it and her brother has vanished without a trace??? How could they write a Luke who’s evidently turned his back on the galaxy–on the FAMILY–that needs him??? How could they have DESTROYED LEIA’S WHOLE LIFE????? ALL of their lives???? And for seemingly no reason!!!! They could have easily written a movie to introduce the new characters and create conflict without dismantling every single thing about our beloved trio and their dynamic. But they didn’t. They slaughtered them.

And then you listen to these people speak. And they start saying things like Leia clearly could never have been an attentive mother because she was too preoccupied with politics and her career. Han could never have been happy settling down and committing to something–not even his family–so OBVIOUSLY he left and he’s smuggling again. Han and Leia were too incompatible and could never have worked. Luke is off in EXILE because AREN’T ALL JEDI MASTERS SUPPOSED TO BE IN EXILE???????????

And you’re just. You’re floored. You’re blown away. It’s like those people didn’t even fucking WATCH Star Wars. Did they completely miss the fact that Leia’s character arc is about learning to care about things that aren’t the rebellion, and learning to rely on people–not just herself???? Did they not see how much she’s already lost–LITERALLY HER ENTIRE WORLD–and how much she had to suffer before she finally got something that was hers again? Did they not see the hell she had to go through to get it???? Did they really think she would throw that away after all that–did they think that LEIA of all people couldn’t have balanced a career and a family????


Did they not notice that Luke’s DEFINING characteristic throughout the original trilogy is his loyalty to his loved ones??? His utter refusal to let harm come to them–to give up on them?? His refusal to abandon them???? And then they want us to believe that he… abandoned them?????

So essentially the thing about the new canon is that people who don’t understand Star Wars are suddenly in charge of Star Wars, and they go back and ignore the characterization of three entire films and present us with material that is entirely contradictory of the original trilogy, and then they don’t understand why people have reacted negatively. 

And then of course you get fans screaming about how it’s REALISTIC this way.

When the fuck did you get the idea that Star Wars is supposed to be realistic??????? Star Wars is NOT about realism. It’s a Space Fairytale. An epic saga. It’s not supposed to be Game of Thrones grimdark jam in the tragedy. It was never like that for forty years. It was never presented that way. George Lucas was ADAMANT in making this point. And that’s why it resonated with so many people–that’s why it was such a success. Because it was uplifting. It was inspiring. It touched that part of our hearts where those fairytales live–where it’s possible for our heroes to go up against the forces of evil and WIN and have a happy ending. That’s why they gave Luke and Leia and Han the happy fucking ending!!!!

And the thing with the new canon is that they don’t care. They don’t care about “protecting Star Wars.” They don’t care about what Star Wars stands for. They don’t care about what George Lucas created. They care about money. They don’t want you to be invested in Han and Luke and Leia anymore. They want you to care about Finn and Rey and Poe, and apparently no one at Lucasfilm understood that they didn’t have to destroy the old characters to get people to like the new ones.

And for the record, just because the people delivering this truly appalling “new canon” horrorshow AU are Disney and Lucasfilm does NOT mean that I have to accept it all as true. They don’t understand Star Wars, they don’t care about it, they’re not its original creator, and I don’t have to accept a single thing they say.

That’s the thing about the new canon.

Traits That Mark Sam as a (Covert) Narcissist

–Sam is ever hungry for affirmation and he demands Dean provide for his ever growing appetite. He does not seem to have a problem using emotional blackmail to accomplish this.

–Sam is hyper-vigilant toward any real or implied criticism. To the point of even the policing thoughts of those he suspects may be thinking unfavorably about him.

–Sam demands trust, but does not connect his right to it with his ability to be trustworthy. He sees it as something he’s owed because he needs it; completely disconnected from his own actions.

–Sam shows little to no awareness of or concern for how his behavior has or will impact others. If it’s ever pointed out to him, he takes this as an act of aggression and either plays the victim or demands silence/absolution.

–Sam changes the focus of any given issue to be about his own worries, fears, or needs. Only focusing on others in relation to how they are serving or failing to serve one of those things.

–Sam struggles and is generally unable to empathize with anyone without being able to directly project his situation or feelings onto them. He takes this projection as truth, disregarding anything the person may actually need or feel.

–Sam rarely takes responsibility for his own actions, but shifts blame either partially or entirely onto others. He does not seem to have a problem using emotional blackmail in order to accomplish this.

–Even when he bemoans them, Sam speaks about the consequences of his behavior as something that’s happened TO him, erasing his own role in causing what has happened.

–Sam can dish out criticism and reprimand with ease (often, freely and harshly), but he cannot take any (even a watered down version) in return. He falls apart or becomes enraged even if said criticism is constructive and is delivered in a manner that is soft, understated, or even simply implied.

–It rarely occurs to Sam to offer comfort of any kind. He’s much more focused in on ensuring the person is feeling how Sam thinks they ought to feel and responding as Sam would like them to. This he will expend great energy on, but only very rarely will he offer comforting or loving words or actions.

–Sam continually connects Dean dying to losing the support HE needs, not to Dean’s worth as a person, or even to Dean’s value to him, just for being who Dean is.

–In the aftermath of a bad choice or decision, Sam shows little to no care for or desire to comfort those hurt by his actions. Their pain is rarely addressed or even acknowledged. He instead becomes consumed with correcting their, now poor, image of him through any means possible, including emotional blackmail if necessary.

–Sam consistently lies to those around him (Jess, Dean, Amelia, Bobby, ect), particularly about anything he’s doing they may disagree with, anything that may lead to disapproval. (And to connect this with an earlier point, Sam does not see his lies as an obstacle for them trusting him).

–Sam often demands or feels entitled to treatment, he is not willing to reciprocate. For example, the complete and immediate absolution of anything he does to hurt or betray another.

–Sam hurts or harms others, but then plays the victim when the person he’s harmed responds poorly to his behavior/treatment, painting them as the aggressor for their poor reaction.

–In fact, Sam has a huge victim complex overall, framing his feelings and problems as the most pitiable, even when it is inappropriate to do so.

–Sam has a smug sense of superiority that wars directly with his own rampant insecurities.

–Sam is easily manipulated by foes through the threatening of or bolstering of his ego, particularly his “powerfulness” and “ability” to do great things (Ruby and demon blood, reopening the cage, BMoL, ect).

Overall, Sam is more concerned with how he is perceived, than how he actually acts and behaves. This includes how Sam perceives himself and how he is perceived by those around him. He becomes incredibly distressed at even the slightest hint that he’s not being perceived well. He is hyper-vigilant about what others are thinking about him, even if they are treating him with overt affection and support. He is willing to do truly risky, immoral, and harmful things (to himself and others) in order to feel secure in his desired perception of self, which he sustains through how he’s seen by others.

Much of his behavior is dictated by this struggle to control how he is seen, causing him at times to deny reality and what he knows, because the need to control that is so great. It is why he struggles with respecting emotional boundaries, demonstrated empathy, and supporting others. He wants others to see him as strong, capable, reliable, and great. But he’s  so focused on the image of those things, he is unable to consider or account for the reality of them. He wants the label so much, the need is almost all consuming, yet he considers it not as something earned through his actions and attitudes, but something that is given to him. That is where all his energy and focus and effort goes (leaving little left over, even for people he loves).

He is filled with anxiety and fretfulness in his quest to maintain the image, and he often finds himself enraged or falling apart if/when he thinks he’s not getting the affirmation or people don’t have an overtly positive image of him (Sam, Interrupted explores this beautifully, but it’s also woven throughout the entire series). His response in such situations is usually to demand more affirmation or a suppression of any negative thoughts or criticism (often this demand is presented on the merit of his need, obtained through deception and manipulation, or aggression and threatening).

Sadly, like most narcissists, this leaves Sam forever unfulfilled. Because it doesn’t matter how much affirmation he is given. Or how well he manages to silence any critique. Somewhere inside he knows he does not truly match that image. And so the insecurity remains and the hunger/ dissatisfaction with it. To assuage that insecurity, he believes he needs MORE affirmation from others, more assurance that he matches the image.

This is the cycle of a narcissist.

anonymous asked:

do you think many/most of the teenage antis will grow out of it, or at least mellow down some as they get older? or do we need to be bracing ourselves for a generation of adults who think and act this way?

I do think that a lot of anti-shippers will eventually ‘outgrow’ the aggressive, cruel behavior that defines anti-shipping as a toxic culture, or stop being active in fandom hate circles. however, I also expect most of them won’t outgrow the underlying principles that shape anti-shipping understanding of the world, and I think we’ll have fresh anti-shipper crops every year until fandom lands on a website that allows proper space segregation again.

Like: most people will leave because the energy and emotion involved in engaging in a hate campaign can only be sustained by certain people in certain situations: 

  • young people with relatively large amounts of time and large amounts of energy* who feel they have a personal stake in the cause
  • righteous anger addicts (superiority complex)
  • people who continue to be in traumatizing situations/don’t advance in trauma recovery and find generating control through fear in some other part of their life deeply cathartic
  • people who gain external benefits, such as: friends, popularity, social control, money
    • in worst case scenarios: recruiting potential abuse targets
  • people who live for drama and chaos (internet trolls, for example)

It’s exhausting to be so angry all the time, so unless there’s a near-endless wellspring of energy - usually sourced in some emotional feed off the hatred, venting pain sourced in something else, or another external benefit - it just can’t be kept up forever.

but honestly a lot of the underlying principles of anti culture are proliferating (in Western culture at least) on a much wider scale, and have been for a long time - a couple of decades at least: 

  • prioritization of safety over personal freedom: any freedom is worth giving up if it will protect you from harm. (helicopter parents care more about their child’s safety than their independence, for instance.) anything that might cause someone to feel unsafe under any circumstances must not just be warned for, but censored and/or (preferably) destroyed.
  • (my) emotions are the same as facts: intellectual honesty and true respect takes a back seat to making sure you personally feel comfortable. it doesn’t matter if something is logical or effective; if it feels right to you, it’s true. 
  • ignorance is safe: once you find an ideological authority that makes you feel comfortable, trust that authority to be truthful and to have your best interests at heart. exploration beyond what is taught to you can be dangerous, and what you don’t know can’t hurt you. censoring danger is a better protection against future injury than educating about danger; learning about outside ideas is unnecessary and may taint you.
  • the belief of being oppressed and constantly under attack no matter how privileged/equal your situation actually is: this is partially motivated by the feeling that the world’s resources are finite (sort of) and definite (no) and anything that used to be for you alone going to others as well is taking away from you. even if nothing is actually taken away. (the ‘War on Christmas’, anyone?)
  • the aim to censor or stamp out the voice of dissent: disagreement is form of aggression and hurt, no matter their substance. therefore opinions that aren’t exactly like your own can’t just be refuted: they need to be silenced and destroyed. by any means necessary.
  • you’re always right, everyone else is always wrong: your position is the only good one. every other ideological opinion is utter garbage with no redeeming qualities. compromise is absolutely impossible. (and anyone who holds those opinions is no better than a literal monster.)
  • us vs. the world, toxic edition: people who have a different opinion from your group reached that opinion by looking at things from your own POV and deciding ‘I choose evil.’ therefore all of the positions they hold that hurt you and your own are malicious and specifically aimed at hurting you, as opposed to a side effect of ignorance or self-prioritization.

We’re already in a world where adults think this way. the above attitudes promote extreme partisanship, hostility, stereotyping, dehumanization of others, valuing ideological purity over practicality, anti-intellectualism, and tribalism.

Basically, it’s a situation ripe for authoritarianism to take hold. and it has taken hold, especially in the US Republican party, and it’s … well. Bad. and if that wasn’t bad enough, the current social climate makes it deeply tempting to fight fire with fire, promising to replace bad authoritarian leadership with good authoritarian leadership. (spoiler: there is no good authoritarian leadership.)


I expect today’s anti-shippers to grow out of anti-shipping but still be highly opposed to the idea of ‘dangerous’ ideas being allowed to exist; they will prefer censorship to education, ignorance to exploration, and will be deeply hostile to any opposition of feeling or taste.

and anti-shipping in general won’t go anywhere. it will continue to attract fandom newcomers, particularly young and/or vulnerable ones, until fandom moves to a space where different communities with different interests can be properly segregated from one another again. 

with the fandom walls of LJ and site forums completely knocked down by web 2.0, it’s no wonder that some of us have decided that all of fandom must provide the same comfortable environment they might have enjoyed in a small, closed community a few years ago, and that they will force fandom to do it. When fandom moves the majority of its interactions and content to a space where communities can be closed off, anti-shipping won’t be nearly as fulfilling as much of the content they seek to police will no longer be visible to them. (the popularity of Discord groups may be the start of such a move.)

However, anti-shipping may never fully go away again. It certainly won’t as long as society in general is so protective of its ideals and so deeply hostile to fellow humans.

*in my experience, adolescence tends to be the definition of ‘always exhausted but ready to fight anyone at any time’.