no forks or spoons

This is my personal quest. I know a lot of people are invested in my storyline, and that is to recover the remaining 44, you know, spoons, knives, forks, pieces of flatware that belonged to my grandfather - and once I do maybe I’ll uncover a terrible secret about the universe!
— 

Angus McDonald, TAZ episode 29

Griffin McElroy so help me god if this was foreshadowing ala the dark orb in the Boston episode.

2

@the-fox333 said to @sadeyeball: Redesign Peridot? Canon evidence suggests she’s too short, and her palette could be nicer.

my eyes are literally dying already so i probably will have to pick thigns up later but heres a doodle for peri. i like peridot i think her design idea is fun and could have more potential but heres the Thoughts: peri being a disabled gem and needing her prostetic limbs. when she reforms after being bubbled she finds herself without them and freaks out when learning steven literally threw them away. her magnetic abilities would be already a given since they wouldnt be used for a reveal later, and she would use that skill to crudely make limbs out of things from stevens house and the barn: wrenches, screws, spoons, forks, knives and just try to make it with what she has. bismuth wouldnt be bubbled for no reason and she could make new limbs for peri??? i imagined her metallic fingers getting an upgrade and being bendable now since theyd be made of more malleable metal, like cables?

but yeah this is just a doodle i had to put on my glasses halfway bc exhaustion. i tweaked peridots color scheme to go nearer yellow tones and match her original gem

Cuddling With Astro

MJ

Originally posted by daddy-mj

  • he likes spooning lets be real in a world of forks the boy is a spoon
  • idk what i meant by that 
  • moving on
  • fr MJ here would love to just drag you to bed at night to cuddle
  • he would either cuddle you like right after lunch or something or right before you sleep 
  • those are his favorite cuddle times he feels the cuddliest then its his peak cuddliest always
  • he’d pull you onto the couch or the bed and just wrap his arms around you from the back
  • and pull you into him
  • god he would smell so good omfg
  • but like right when you’d relax into him MJ would be like
  • lol n o p e
  • and start tickling the heck outta ya
  • he loves watchin ya squirm
  • ;)
  • jkjk
  • soon after you would both quiet down and it would get like comfortably silent and he’ll never tell you but those moments of quiet with you and only you are his favorite times 
  • like ever
  • he loves those moment more than anything
  • and he’ll rest his chin on your shoulder and your head will rest against his collarbone and you’ll just revel in each other’s warmth
  • MJ really likes cuddling you
  • he even tries to get you to call him the cuddle master supreme or somethin
  • just
  • cuddling MJ would be a lot of fun and also really peaceful just super wow ya feel me
  • wow

JinJin

Originally posted by dognmin

  • jinjin doesnt cuddle
  • no
  • he snuggles
  • he would just be lying down and you would pass by and suddenly you’re being pulled onto your boyfriend
  • he’ll grab onto anything and pull
  • sometimes it’s your hand, your elbow, your thigh, it doesn’t matter
  • if jinwoo wants to cuddle
  • no
  • snuggle
  • he’s gonna snuggle
  • he’ll pull you on top of him so you’re both lying down
  • and jinjin would make you put a blanket on top of you so you don’t get cold because he anticipates you two will be in that position for a while
  • he would hold you close to his chest
  • close enough to hear his heartbeat
  • ohmygod
  • and wrap his arms around you and basically it would be like hugging a teddy bear
  • and your head would be against his chest and underneath the blanket
  • your legs are intertwined 
  • you would constantly switch positions though
  • “jinjin that is my boob
  • “ah crap sorry”
  • “don’t move wait”
  • “…”
  • “i said not to move now im like halfway doing the splits”
  • “sorry”
  • because eventually one of you would have a limb fall asleep and it’d get uncomfortable but you want to keep cuddling snuggling 
  • so you always end up lying on your sides facing each other
  • and hugging tight
  • and falling asleep entwined and warm underneath like seven blankets with your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat and his arms around you and i am just
  • s n u g g l e s w i t h j i n j i n

Eunwoo

Originally posted by moonbinny

  • hes like a super giant so it would be kinda hard to find a nice cuddling position
  • but eventually you’d decide on like koala-ing him 
  • you would wrap your legs around his waist
  • and your arms around his neck
  • and 
  • squeeze
  • dongmin wouldn’t mind the squeezing honestly because you’re so small and cute he doesn’t even notice it
  • and then you’d pout at him bc he didn’t say anything about your squeezing
  • he would so kiss you so much though like you’re hanging onto him
  • or like as close to hanging as you can be while you’re lying down
  • and he would just be struck by how adorable and vulnerable you look 
  • he wouldn’t be able to help himself
  • it’s like
  • unstoppable
  • he blames it on hormones but 
  • he would move your hair or do whatever he needed to do to kiss your forehead or your cheek
  • and you’d pout at him again
  • this time in response he would
  • kiss your lips
  • over and over 
  • just pecks to tease you until you clasp your hands together behind his neck and forcibly bring him down to kiss you properly
  • he would smile into it
  • eventually dongmin would take your hands off of his neck and hold them in front of his chest
  • and smile
  • and look at you
  • he would sigh out of happiness and contentedness and love and you should all put “cuddling with lee dongmin” on your bucket lists

Moonbin

Originally posted by kpopyoulater

  • cheek to cheek
  • only way to describe it
  • you would start with your head in his chest but somehow later you would’ve pretty much moved up his body
  • and now your chin is in his shoulder while his chin is in yours
  • and you’re both facing each other 
  • he’s so warm
  • and the boy smells really, really good
  • you can’t help but breathe in his scent
  • and sniff his hair bc you’re 99.99% he used your shampoo 
  • but your cheeks would be smushed together but neither of you would mind
  • and his arms are loose around your waist 
  • your arms rest on his are just fanning out from your body tbh
  • they don’t really do much just
  • hang
  • until Bin takes one of your hands in his and intertwines your fingers 
  • you put your other hand on his shoulder and his other arm stays holding you close
  • for a long while neither of you talk but then
  • “did you just fart”
  • “it is only natural”
  • “i hate you”
  • “actually you love me you told me so exactly-”
  • “whY HAvE YoU BEen couNTiNg”
  • jk but honestly you would start quiet and then end up bantering and giggling but staying cheek to cheek the entire time
  • and somehow it would get late and Moonbin realizes that wow
  • you’re fast asleep on top of him
  • and he contemplates throwing you off and running for it but
  • he really likes this
  • it’s worth his arm and hand falling asleep he guesses
  • as long as, when the morning comes, you and him are still entwined

Rocky

Originally posted by astropopsicle

  • minhyuk and doryongi could be brothers or somethin they’re both floppy when it comes to cuddling
  • not that you mind
  • minhyuk is usually p chill but when the boy wants to cuddle he wants to CUDDLE
  • like he’s needy af when he wants you in his arms
  • that sounded cheesy i apologize lmfao
  • anyways
  • you’ll be doing homework or something and suddenly you hear minhyuk screaming your name from the couch or your bed or something 
  • the first few times he did it you freaked out bc
  • what if he’s getting eaten by a bear or something 
  • but you soon realized that when he yells for you it’s because he wants to cuddle
  • and its non-negotiable bc whenever you wanna cuddle he’s always there for you
  • unless he has like idol stuff but thats a given
  • when you finally get to him he’s all “’sup” but then 
  • breaks out into a huge grin that practically splits his face 
  • if you don’t get to him fast enough he’ll come looking for you and pick you up bridal style or throw you over his shoulder
  • sometimes you aren’t fast enough on purpose
  • he doesn’t need to know that
  • and then he’ll wrap like all of his limbs around you
  • you’re stuck
  • have fun
  • eventually you’ll wiggle a leg out so on of your legs is between his and one of his is between yours but his arms stay rooted
  • sometimes minhyuk will roll around with you in his arms if you’re in bed together he’s super playful that way 
  • then he’ll make kissy faces at you and give you butterfly kisses
  • minhyuk would be such a frickin dork when cuddling it would be amazing
  • eventually he would fall asleep with you in his strong grip
  • and you don’t want to wake him
  • so you just stay there
  • stuck
  • until sleep finds you too
  • but you don’t really mind because you’d rather cuddle your amazing(ly warm) boyfriend than do math 
  • any day

Sanha

Originally posted by astropopsicle

  • hes a giant like eunwoo 
  • but hes a smol beanie bby awkward giant
  • the first time you guys cuddle you have to ask him about it
  • and then he gets all flustered but tries to play it cool like
  • “cuddle??? uh, yeah, sure, uh, um, whatever?? you want.. babe???”
  • his voice squeaked on the last part it was great 
  • MJ and JinJin recorded it 
  • it’s JinJin’s ringtone now
  • after that though you guys got into a cuddling routine
  • funnily enough
  • in the beginning he was the small spoon
  • needless to say 
  • it really didn’t work out
  • instead you guys tend to lie down facing each other
  • smiling, laughing, talking
  • trading homework tips and joking about teachers and his managers
  • sometimes the hyungs will try to listen in on your conversations
  • that’s when you guys start roasting them, acting like you don’t know they’re listening
  • fun times
  • anyways you guys face each other
  • and eventually his arm tentatively finds itself around your shoulder, pulling you in slightly
  • it moves down to your waist as time goes on
  • sometimes you hold hands and put your clasped hands in between the two of you
  • always facing each other
  • after talking for a while the two of you will just stop saying anything or making any noises and just trace each other’s facial features with your eyes
  • you’ll find yourself leaning in and then all of a sudden he pulls you into his chest
  • both of your faces about as brightly colored as his hair is
  • and you’re both really tired at this point so you’re about to fall asleep
  • when you’re rudely brought back to being awake by all of Sanha’s hyungs taking pictures of the two of you and tweeting them
  • you should make a show
  • life with (6) boys

258. We are not allowed to charm utensils to follow behind our classmates and poke them randomly.

The spoons weren’t bad. The forks were just annoying. - SB

Not to mention terrifying when you have a four-pronged spear chasing after you! - PP

Not nearly as terrifying as the knifes. - JP

Yeah … probably a good call to not include those, Moony. - SB

You think? - RL

little age characteristics(for me)

1 and younger
😚sleeps lots and lots
😚likes lullaby music and white noise
❤loves blankey and stuffies
❤loves her paci
❤snuggle monster
❤lots of cuddles
👗wears onesies and diapers or pjs
🍼fueled by bottles and squeeze pouches and puffs
🍼messy eater
🚽potty monster is scaarry stay away from it!!
👣moves by crawling/rolling/scooting
💬communicates with smiles and uhhhuhs or uh uhs and a few words here and there
📖loves story time especially touchy feely books

2-3
😚still needs her naps, a bit more challenging to put down but sleeps for hours
😚lullaby music or a movie and a nightlight
❤brings her blankey and turtle EVERYWHERE
❤still loves her paci
👗onesies, pjs, cute shirts and diapers ir pullups
👣on the move! and enjoys hiding!
🍼drinks mostly from a sippy cup but likes bottles at night
🍼big girl foods! spaghetti/pasta are s big hit, pbjs, pancakes, chicken nuggets
🍼still a little messy! forks and spoons are less fun than your hands!
🚽will occasionly use the potty. usually only if asked nicely or promise of candy!
💬asks whats that hundreds of times a minute
💬talks to self/animals lots!
💬sometimes hard to understand
💬i can do it myself! (puts shoes on wrong feet clothes on backwards)
😫subject to some tantrums
📖 i like looking at pictures and making up stories!
👶i like playing pretend! kitchen and house and dress up
🎨art is fun! crayons and markers and fingerpaint and playdoh
🌳playgrounds are always a hit!
🛁bubbly baths with toys!

  • mendel: eating dirt? what kind of nonsense- [trips] [hundreds of soiled sporks fall out of pockets] ... I have no idea what you're talking about [gathers sporks while clicking mechanical pencil] i-i-i they were for a thesis on strange addictions that i'm writing- [thousands of sporks scatter across the floor] it was a experiment AN EXPERIMENT I USE FORKS AND SPOONS SEPARATELY-
Oh no...I REALLY should watch what I say around young children.

I started my first full time job after college only a few months ago, but I have noticed a disturbing trend in an office full of mid-career adults, many of whom have children. There is a large room in the center of the floor I work on dedicated to social events and breaks. It comes equipped with 2 vending machines, a water/ice dispenser, industrial size coffee machines, a fridge, a sink, and cabinets filled with coffee, tea, and…eating utensils.

You can probably see where I’m going. I noticed a huge pile building up of cups, forks, spoons, and other assorted silverware once before and gave people the benefit of the doubt. I cleaned everything. People passed by asked if it was “my turn” to do dishes. I made sure to explain that it wasn’t. I was doing it to have a clean break space, but people should be doing their own dishes. It is not my job, and it is not the cleaning crew’s job (I asked). They thanked me, and I hoped this would clue in people to clean up after themselves. How naive am I?

We were on day 23 since the pile started to reappear. There hadn’t been any clean utensils in the cupboards for almost a week. There is no end in sight. I refuse to clean it again, and I mentioned to my teammates how much it bothers me. Partially because these are adults who are making the mess and partially because…that’s gross. One teammate just looked at me unsympathetically and said “Well, if the mess bothers you so much, why don’t you just clean it up?” The rage I felt just came back as I typed that out. I just did not respond and turned back to my computer.

My opportunity to retaliate came a few days later. In comes his wife, she is toting their 3 elementary-age children behind her. They some times come in to get him, so they can all have lunch together. The wife was saying that the children weren’t cleaning up after themselves, and how they couldn’t go to the pool until it was done. They pouted and said that they didn’t want to do it. My coworker said that they need to be responsible and clean up after themselves because they made the mess. That it was “just a part of growing up”. I swiveled around, smiled, and said “Well, if the mess bothers you so much, why don’t you just clean it up?”

My coworker’s face fell, and after a moment of silence, the kids started to echo me. Though my coworker attempted to rebuttal, it was too late. The damage was done. As my coworker shot me a dirty look, I decided to go out to lunch. Seemed fitting not to have to do dishes that day.

MADONNA WITH A FLASK OF WHISKEY

Blunt knife. The cat by my side
in a deep sleep. The other woman:
her large hips, her children.

I am no mother, there is no
competition. My eyes are dull.
Moon in our veins. Sleep,

for once. Inside the month
a splitting of truth. Yours; mine.
I take the bitter rind, you

take the fruit and swallow.
Dormant seed. Pink as flesh
in pain. Switch. A scarf

draped. The cat yawns.
I do not compare me to you.
Stale breath. The joke

drained of life. She laughs.
Pearls, tea lights. Clinking 
of spoons and forks.

Remember. I held the child
to my breast. Fed her as mine.
The madonna stood 

with a helpless glance.
Alabaster. Autumnal singing.
Neither mother nor wife.

I used to hate being Southeast Asian so much

because I’m not as “interesting” as East Asians, because their languages are “better” and their cultures are more exposed to the world.

All of the well known actors/actresses/musicians/artists/models/etc, are East Asians.

Now I don’t think that way anymore, because I’ve realized how unique I am despite the corrupted government, biased religious laws, abandoned yet functioning 1980′s architecture, shallow minded people and other things.

I know Southeast Asians are ignored because they all think we live on trees with no TVs and have children working in factories making shoes (read a book, Google it, just educate yourself).

Guess what, world?

I don’t care. I’m beautiful, my country is beautiful and I am happy to be raised in an environment that prep me for harsh realities on this planet.

I wash clothes with my hand and buckets, I wasn’t raised with the convenience of showers and bathtubs, I eat with my hands most of the time instead of forks and spoons, I walked a lot because there’s no subway trains, I live in a tropical weather with no experience of snow, I deal with rude foreigners fetishizing and looking down on my culture, I eat food that non-Southeast Asians think are gross, my native language sounds “funny” and “weird”, and I don’t care.

My Indonesian friend once said, “Jadi orang yang mengerti naik jet pribadi tapi bisa naik angkutan umum”

Translation: “Be a person that understands how to ride a private jet but able to ride public transport”

That’s what we Southeast Asians are like, we are able to live in a luxurious way but at the same time, we can be stranded on an island and survive.

Suck it. I’m proud to be Southeast Asian.

- Diva

7

Some simple ways to bring colour to a boring white room.

Collect wine corks from family and friends! Or go to a flea market and dip old spoons/forks/whatever seems interesting in paint.

Use tacks to create your own night sky, or pin/stick some wrapping paper to the back of bookshelves or wardrobes.

Caleb was going to whistle to himself, but he needed the peace as he worked the spell, his hands moving rhythmically over the silver cutlery set he’d….acquired, muttered just above a whisper as the butter knives, forks, and spoons began to shift into  throwing knives. He’d learned to use the spell fairly easily on a smaller scale, but saw no reason not to branch out a bit to try to expand where he could.

He’d heard the other approaching, he paused, taking one of the new knives, turning to face them. “Hey, there, how ya doin, mon ami. Was you wantin one a these? You know I can hook you up, now.”

if this is final


if this is final
don’t come around with corpses,
yellow flowers, sensitive summons
on the answering machine.
if this is final
No purring greets you at the door
Record shards in dumpsters
Smash Mouth- not worth the postage.
if this is final
Grout stains attest to your name
bones are sore, I’ve drunk all the beers
the liquor store closes at ten.
if this is final
I’m sitting on a bench in the park
relief, high heels that aren’t you
rising “…and don’t forget to pick”
falling “up the Chinese food at…”
if this is final
I want my forks and spoons back
I spread my legs in bed-
sunlight speckles on the wall
or only paint chips.

After clearing out a banquet hall of enemies, I decide to play up my rogue’s thieving nature and steal all the silverware. The DM made me roll for it, and I got a nat20, so he narrated me stealing all the knives, all the forks, all the spoons, and then going for the candelabras on the mantle only to find a “loose brick” that revealed a hidden treasure room behind the fireplace. The rest of the party is shocked by the huge piles of treasure and are about to storm the treasure room.

Me: “WAIT! I… need to… check for traps!”

They let me into the room ahead of them, and I confirm there are no traps.

Me: “Guys… look at all the GOLD!”

Me, OOC: “I grab a handful of jewelry, and wave it in the air, to distract them from the gold I’m shoving in my pocket with my other hand.”

This was my introductory game to see if I’d fit in with the rest of the group. My devotion to my character’s personality, combined with a full conversation with the DM consisting of nothing but memes, earned me a place in their ranks.

If I could tell it, I would. You see, the cables
are scattered about my room. There is
my cellphone plugged in the wall
outlet with ten or so missed calls (I dare not
see from whom) There are the dishes
in the sink seemingly a hundred forks and spoons
and the dragonlance book underneath
my monitor ALAN MOORE underneath that
(my childhood supporting a shitty screen)
and in a folder about twenty un-opened envelopes
and the nagging feeling inside each of them
and sugar and some old berry juice in a glass
because I don’t hurry with the dishes the scattered
crumbs on the table the sun on my body I don’t
hurry or know how to do push-ups take care of
me better than this through white curtains drawn
for days and then the outside of this where the
children play with their parents I listen to them
somehow afraid and wish to fall asleep I wake up
at noon noon after noon and think
no-one wants to come and stay
             and it’s better that way

Okay but imagine Recovering-Wendigo!Josh and he’s just getting used to just being more human again.  The teeth, claws, and eyes?  Those can be fixed, or at least hidden, with surgery and the Washingtons are rich enough to not only afford them but to bribe the doctors to be quiet… but when he was a Wendigo, he was just going on pure animal instincts and it’s just hard to just suppress them again.

Something startles him and he drops into a crouch to fight it off, letting out an inhuman screech that hurts his throat.  Or something runs past and he has to resist the urge to chase it down.  

He hates using forks and spoons to eat food.  He hates cooked food but he gets sick if he tries to eat meat raw. 

He still wants to just sleep all day and gets so restless at night.  He wants to curl up around Chris (Or whoever) and just make inhuman noises that are just terrifying to hear even if they’re not meant to be.

A Josh that starts wearing as many layers as possible, who takes long, hot showers and baths, and always has the heat on even in summer because he always feels so cold.