no employee wants to be a squidward

The signs as Spongebob episodes

Aries: Pressure (the one where Spongebob and Sandy compete to see if land creatures or sea creatures are better, and Mr. Krabs, Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward venture up to land, but then get attacked by seagulls)

Taurus: Chocolate with Nuts (the one where Spongebob and Patrick sell chocolate bars in hopes of making enough money to engage in “fancy living”)

Gemini: Frankendoodle (the one where Spongebob draws Doodlebob, the evil doodle version of himself, who goes around attacking people)

Cancer: Grandma’s Kisses (the one where Spongebob gets embarrassed that his grandma kissed him, decides to be an adult, but then ultimately ends up having a huge meltdown, because he wants his grandma’s love)

Leo: As Seen on TV (the one where Spongebob is in a Krusty Krab commercial, and then Old Man Jenkins mistakes him for a box of Bran Flakes, and Spongebob thinks he’s really famous, an quits his job to be an entertainer)

Virgo: Krusty Krab Training Video (the one that tells you, step-by-step, how to be the perfect Krusty Krab employee)

Libra: Squilliam Returns (the one where Squidward pretends the Krusty Krab is a five star restaurant, and SpongeBob becomes a fancy waiter, but forgets his own name)

Scorpio: Krusty Love (the one where Mr. Krabs falls madly in love with Mrs. Puff, ends up spending a shitload of money on her, and forces Spongebob to be in charge of his wallet, but still can’t control himself)

Sagittarius: Prehibernation Week (the one where Spongebob and Sandy engage in extreme sports, but Spongebob can’t handle it and goes into hiding, and then Sandy forces all of Bikini Bottom to look for him)

Capricorn: Employee of the Month (the one where Spongebob is employee of the month for 26 months in a row, and gets super competitive with Squidward, because he wants to be employee of the month a 27th time)

Aquarius: Squidville (the one where Squidward moves to Tentacle Acres, but then gets tired of the cookie-cutter lifestyle, and uses a reef blower to launch himself out of the village)

Pisces: Idiot Box (the one where Spongebob and Patrick play in an empty television box using their *imaginations*)

  • Squidward: If I really wanted that award I could win it with my tentacles tied!
  • Spongebob: That can be arranged.
  • Squidward: You're a lunatic, Spongebob!
  • Spongebob: Maybe so... but I did win Employee of the Month 26 months in a row.
  • Squidward: Are you trying to say that you are better than me?
  • Spongebob: I've been better than you 26 months and it'll be 27 tomorrow.

never-a-tale-of-more-poe  asked:

But consider this: Toby is basically a rejected extra from every police-themed movie and/or show ever. Rosewood P.D. will use his incompetence for training videos. "Remember, no employee wants to be a Toby." It's like the Krusty Krab Training Video all over again, except Squidward is actually funny.

S C R E A M I N G. 

What Not To Do – featuring bumbling Rosewood P.D. officer Toby Cavanaugh

Originally posted by prettylittleobsession-theories

Game of Thrones au where they’re all employees at a Wal-Mart.

King’s Landing is in the toy section where the king sits on the Throne of Games. The Kingsguard fights with Nerf swords.

The Starks work in the frozen foods section, Lannisters work in the non-frozen foods sections and throw canisters of nuts at workers from other houses while yelling “The canisters send their regards!”. Greyjoys run the Fishtanks in the pet section. Tyrells run the garden section.

All the while the other employees are thoroughly unamused by this stupid medieval game the gang plays all day. They treat them with the same levels of apathy and annoyance Squidward treats Spongebob.

Oh and the Night’s Watch are the guys working the night shift who desperately want to be part of the game but are never on shift at the same time as any of the important characters.