My tumblr is usually my escapism fun zone, but it’s time for a quick serious talk.
I’ve been in a few emotionally abusive platonic relationships and was always frustrated that nearly every help article I read online was written primarily for cis women in a hetero, romantic relationship. Most guides talked about physical violence, sex, and a whole slew of other circumstances I did not experience.
Unfortunately, emotional abusive is not limited just to romantic relationships. Platonic relationships, especially long-term or otherwise intense ones (for example, those that spawn in fandom and minority spaces), can be just as difficult to recognize, confront, and escape.
I thought it might be helpful to outline patterns of abuse I have experienced in a platonic relationship with someone of the same gender. These abuse tactics are forms of control and most are intended to isolate and break down the victim. While it’s easy to write off behaviors individually, together, they form destructive and very deliberate patterns.
More below the cut. I’ve sat on this article for about 3 years to help distance myself from these bad friendships and make sure it wasn’t just me lashing out in the moment. Some of this content may be triggering for emotional and sexual abuse and transphobia.
Care to share why your anti CW Betty? You're entitled to your opinion but im curious to know why
Yeah dude! Here’s a short list:
1) The entire show is suddenly centered around her and her problems. Like, I get it, she has an unbelievably stressful and terrifying life but my boi Jughead over here is struggling with homelessness and his drunken father and his broken family?? And Ronnie is still struggling with the sudden loss of her dad??? And Archie is a victim of sexual abuse and trying to find himself???? Girl, I know you got it rough but you’re not the only one. 2) A follow up of the previous reason, this is RIVERDALE; this is a show about all of the main characters (that means that’s supposed to include Josie and Cheryl too) but it’s still basically a Betty Double Digest. One of the writers of the show also said she’s their favorite character which is why the entire plot revolves around her. 3) She is literally a Mary Sue. I think the writers were trying to make this fantastic, groundbreaking character arc from her but in episode one she was too afraid to try on a new lipstick shade and then suddenly in episode six she’s ransacking her mom’s purse and breaking into cars. That’s not a character arc that’s just the writers hopping from one personality to another. 4) Every other character is constantly villainized to make Betty’s character look better. Archie is portrayed as this complete asshole because he doesn’t feel romantically towards her??? She acted entitled to his affection just because she’s known him the longest???? Calm tf down like I get it, that sucks, but you can’t just blame him for it. 5) In the comics, she’s not like the ultimate character she is here. This is just because I’ve lived off of the comics since forever, but she’s suddenly got all of the best character traits leaving all the other characters to be portrayed as incomplete, the problematic fav, or just an antagonist. Like she suddenly has Veronica’s confidence, Juggie’s sass, Reggie’s complete devotion to his friends, etc. that just rubbed me wrong. 6) Torturing and almost killing a man is not “girl power” it’s just attempted homicide I’m sorry guys 7) She’s being paired with literally the only canon asexual (and seemingly aro) character I’ve ever seen and that makes me so angry
Please don’t worry about me.
I’m just a little tired from being strong all the time…. Between dealing with all my own problems, pretending everything’s fine and helping other people with their problems – I sometimes feel like I have no energy left.
Sometimes I imagine what it would feel like to be taken care of… for someone to wrap me up in a blanket, hold me while I cry and tell me that they love me and that everything will be alright. But for some reason, whenever anyone asks me if I’m okay – I always say I’m fine!?
I think deep down I’m afraid…. Afraid that if I reach out for help, I might be let down… or afraid that if open up, all the pain I’ve been holding inside will come flooding out and I won’t be able to stop it.
I think that’s possibly the biggest paradox of having strength… that sometimes you spend so much of your energy being strong for yourself and others that it ultimately weakens you to the point where you feel you have nothing left to give… That’s how I’m feeling right now – but give me time and I know I’ll be okay.
I’ll push through like I always do… because I’m strong….
and I don’t know how to be any other way.
God you guys after every season I totally obsess over this show (especially my son Lance here) now I’m a fan of langst. Not because I think Lance needs to suffer but I enjoy suffering in general which totally says something about me.
Anyway I was just thinking about Lance and how he gets pushed aside a lot in the show. I get that it’s hard to balance so many characters but I hope that he gets his chance to shine! I know after the latest season concerns are directed towards Keith (as they should be because OH BOY) but at the same time the spotlight once again as been taken up by Keith, who isn’t even in this last season as much!
I do hope that he comes back to the team and that Lance is essential in that process. But I also want my boy’s concerns to be addressed and I want a couple episodes devoted to Lance because he deserves it! He has grown so much since season one and I just want him to shine!