rlly long but important rant abt ace/aro ppl & how we need to shut our mouths & mind our business
first off, thanks for reading this monster of a post. i’m gonna write this as if i’m addressing a fellow ace/aro person, and frankly, i’m gonna be honest, and a lil bit mean. so basically i just saw a post from one of those notorious aro/ace ppl that get lgbt+ ppl so fired up on my dash. thought they were a myth, but no, that stupidity was on my dash and unfortunately the op was an ace/aro asshole. didn’t know ppl like that actually existed, just trying to cause trouble for no reason, but. unfortunately they do, and unfortunately they’ve made me embarrassed to be an asexual aromantic person bc how often my fellow ace/aro ppl are fuckin dicks to lgbt ppl.
i don’t get why aro/ace people can’t understand this shit. it’s simple. our identities are erased, i’m aware of that, no one believes that someone could possibly not feel sexual and/or attraction and we’re told we just haven’t met the right person yet, or we’re just not mature enough yet - or that we’re straight or freaks or broken. we do face discrimination in that way, in that we’re told we’re invalid.
however, we are not told we’re gonna burn in hell bc of our sexuality and/or romantic orientation (or lack of). we are generally not abused. we are not murdered. we should check our privilege, not try to make up excuses abt how we’re “oppressed”. in my experience, as a fairly quiet asexual who tries her best to mind her business and get along fine w everybody and support my lgbt+ cousins in times of need (like right now) while still staying in my lane, i’m having a great time. no one mentions my asexuality or tries to shit talk me abt it; i rarely mention it myself. it’s a thing and it’s there, but i mostly don’t flaunt it (there’s no need to), and i most definitely don’t try to argue with lgbt+ people about it. it’s a moot point and it’s dumb. we’re mostly left alone when we keep our mouth shut, and we should revel in that. but it’s you guys, fellow ace/aro ppl, who choose to try to claim you’re oppressed and therefore cause drama & discourse & give us ace people a bad name. if y'all shut the hell up abt stuff that doesn’t matter, like at all, we could live peacefully. but y'all try to cause trouble.
i referenced a post i saw at the beginning of this one, speifically this one; if you dont wanna lose iq points, basically it was an ace/aro person claiming “well, at least u gays get clubs. ace/aro ppl dont even get clubs :c boo hoo im ace/aro & im so oppressed.” honey, idk abt u, but as an introverted & aplatonic (no need to google; means you don’t want platonic relationships, meaning friendship, any more than you want sexual and/or romantic relationships) person who’s asexual & aromantic as a result of a personality disorder (schizoid pd, to be specific) i’d frankly rather die than be at a club. wayyyy too much human interaction.
now, obviously not all ace and/or aro people are as asocial as i am, but if you’re asexual, hate to break it to you, but clubs are really sexual places. i’m from vegas, so i got a lot of experience with nightclubs (when you’re from this city, you kinda get familiar with them, and strip clubs, and casinos, basically shady places in general, pretty quickly). maybe it’s just because it’s sin city, but like i said; highly sexual places. people go to clubs to hook up, and if not for that, they go to dance and grind on each other and have a good time. a good, sexy time, mind you. myself, i have no interest in that. i don’t wanna see people grinding on each other or hear someone getting head in the bathroom stall one over while im pissing. i don’t want some sleazy dude to try to buy me drinks so he can get in my pants. not a situation i wanna put myself in. now, ofc, i’m sex repulsed; i know there’s lots of different types of asexuals. but generally, club =/= not a place for an asexual.
and if you’re aromantic but not asexual, clubs are perfect for you! if you don’t want commitment, boom, one night stands, don’t have to think about them ever again but you get laid. just use protection & stay safe, of course. on the flip side, if you’re asexual but not aromantic, i’m no expert on romance ‘cause i’m a lil romance repulsed as well tbh, but i’m pretty sure there’s a lot of places you can find a romantic relationship. your friend who’s secretly had feelings for you for years like some terrible movie cliche, the cute barista at the coffee shop you go to every morning, the girl who always feeds the birds at the park, the list goes on - not too hard. talk to ppl. u never know.
again, not something i’m an expert on, as i obviously don’t seek any type of relationship for myself, but i’m 98% sure there’s a place for just about anyone who experiences any kind of attraction to meet people. so please please please don’t try to come up with ridiculous stuff like that, especially at a time like this. at the moment, we’re allies; we are not straight, some people like to tell us we’re straight when we’re not, i’m just gonna take this as an opportunity to say that asexuality is experiencing no sexual attraction, and heterosexuality is experiencing sexual attraction to the opposite sex. vastly different things. please don’t erase our sexuality, even if some of us are ignorant assholes. i understand your rightful hate and anger but trying to explain and simply giving up & blocking someone who won’t listen is a much simpler way to go about the issue when an ace/aro person is being a dumbass, please don’t invalidate our asexuality in the process. returning hate with hate does absolutely nothing. additionally, we’re not straight - but we’re also not gay or queer. not our words to use, they don’t apply to us. we’re ace. alright?
as i was saying, at the moment we are allies; what happened in orlando was a tragic, horrible thing, and the lgbt+ community is grieving. it’s important to remember that none of us were harmed in this hate crime, obviously; the perpetrator targeted latinx gays. it is not our issue, but we can and should offer as much support as we can to our lgbt+ cousins. we also should reblog as many posts abt this issue as we can, to spread awareness, but we shouldn’t make original posts about it. as i said; not our place. and we should definitely not try to turn this around so we, ace/aro people, are the victims. we have nothing to do with this. by trying to take this terrible situation as an opportunity to bring up how “oppressed” we are, you’re making us wayyy worst than the straights, who thankfully haven’t really tried to make this about them like yall have (although they are trying to erase the sexualities of the victims and blame it on terrorism instead, which is fucked up), and i refuse to be regarded as worse than the straights (which, i know how much everybody hates straights) bc of yall bein insensitive selfish assholes.
basically, to sum that ^ up: stay in your lane. acknowledge your privilege. nobody’s killing us, and i’m very grateful for that. you guys should be, too. oppression isn’t a good thing; being oppressed isn’t fun. you guys shouldn’t want people to admit we face issues as ace/aro ppl so much. it’s dumb. and regardless, you guys shouldn’t make up completely irrelevant issues we definitely don’t face (ace/aro nightclubs, smdh). grieve, share posts about this tragedy, but don’t, for fuck’s sake, try to make it about you. and stop being assholes. like i said, you’re giving me a bad name just ‘cause i share the same orientation as you. i don’t like it. knock it off. acephobia only exists ‘cause y’all constantly try to pick fights with lgbt ppl over dumb shit and they’re fed up with it. mind your own damn business, and everyone would get along just fine. that’s all. thanks for reading, have a good day or night or afternoon.