it is incredible how quickly i second-guess my diagnosis. it had been three days without an anxiety attack; maybe i had been faking it. fifteen minutes after this thought i was sweating in below-zero weather, my teeth chattering and my heart racing. but maybe it was what i ate. i stopped drinking caffeine a long time ago; i find new things it could be. maybe i’m dehydrated. maybe i don’t get enough sun. maybe i need to spend less time on the internet.
i feel like i’ve never not been depressed. maybe i don’t even have depression, i’m just like this. this is who i am to my core and i just don’t want to admit it. plus sometimes i’m happy. it comes in streaks, like contrails - but sometimes i am happy. there are people who are suffering and i’m sitting here worrying because i feel blue sometimes. if i wasn’t so lazy i’d just get out of bed. am i depressed? am i run down? am i just wasting everyone’s worry?
i just don’t know what part of me is me and not mental illness, and i think i’m scared to find out exactly who i am without this.
Flying With Fuel From Plants: The Eco-friendly Way to Go
We eat them. We
make medicines out of them. Now we’re learning how to use plants as airplane
fuel that helps the environment.
to help power jet engines reduces particle emissions in their exhaust by as
much as 50 to 70 percent, according to a new study that bodes well for airline
economics and Earth’s atmosphere.
All of the aircraft, researchers and flight operations
people who made ACCESS II happen. Credits: NASA/Tom Tschida
The findings are
the result of a cooperative international research program led by NASA and
involving agencies from Germany and Canada, and are detailed in a study
published in the journal Nature.
The view from inside NASA’s HU-25C Guardian sampling aircraft
from very close behind the DC-8. Credits: NASA/SSAI Edward Winstead
tests collected information about the effects of alternative fuels on engine
performance, emissions and aircraft-generated contrails – essentially,
human-made clouds - at altitudes flown by commercial airliners.
The DC-8’s four engines burned either JP-8 jet fuel or a
50-50 blend of JP-8 and renewable alternative fuel of hydro processed esters
and fatty acids produced from camelina plant oil. Credits: NASA/SSAI Edward
are produced by hot aircraft engine exhaust
mixing with the cold air that is typical at cruise altitudes several miles
above Earth’s surface, and are composed primarily of water in the form of ice
Matt Berry (left), a flight operations engineer at
our Armstrong Flight Research Center, reviews the flight plan with Principal
Investigator Bruce Anderson. Credits: NASA/Tom Tschida
are interested in contrails because they create clouds that would not normally
form in the atmosphere, and are believed to influence Earth’s environment.
alternative fuels tested reduced those emissions. That’s important because contrails have a
larger impact on Earth’s atmosphere than all the aviation-related carbon
dioxide emissions since the first powered flight by the Wright Brothers.
This photo, taken May 14, 2014, is from the
CT-133 aircraft of research partner National Research Council of Canada. It
shows the NASA HU-25C Guardian aircraft flying 250 meters behind NASA’s DC-8
aircraft before it descends into the DC-8’s exhaust plumes to sample ice particles
and engine emissions. Credit: National
Research Council of Canada
plan on continuing these studies to understand the benefits of replacing current
fuels in aircraft with biofuels.
“Contrail, when we were with Shadow Squadron, at the Battle of the Kaliida Nebula, your call sign was Shadow Eleven. You flew well.” “I had… a good teacher, sir.” ―Darth Vader lays the dying Contrail to rest