no clean pants

anonymous asked:

How about Mycroft denying his feelings for you and then his body does something is hasn't done in years like a wet dream (finishing one to so sheets are a mess) and he can't deny them anymore

Dear Lord, not this mess again Mycroft thinks as he comes to feeling cold and sticky from another night time emission. Careful not to spread any further fluids he inspects the damage this time: the entire left pant leg of sleep trousers and a good foot of the bed surrounding his groin area.

Gingerly Mycroft tries to toe off the soiled pants and trousers while lamenting on why he had reached this point again for the third time in two weeks.

She wasn’t that special, Mycroft tried to rationalize as he put on a clean pair of pants and begrudgingly started to pull off the sheets again, annoyed whenever the left corner wouldn’t budge.

And indeed there wasn’t. She was just another acquaintance brought on through a series of events caused by Sherlock’s many exotic cases who happened to have the right skill at the very time that Sherlock needed her. 

Mycroft had debriefed and reimbursed her for her troubles dealing with his brother which probably only took ten minutes of his time to interact with her. All she did was smile, thank him for thinking of her and left the check.

It wasn’t odd to have people that he tried to sway or thank snub his monetary contributions (as Watson and a few others have also done so in the past) or too outstanding to warrant these pesky dreams where she played the starring role.

 Whether it was in his waking thoughts or nightly wishes she was there beckoning him in that creamy blouse and jeans. Her eyes smiling in such a mischievous manner and her lips wide with silent laughter. The room around her was always so warm and inviting that Mycroft could almost imagine that it was like being engulfed by her presence.

Come to me,” she seemed to say right before Mycroft would find himself soiled again.

Finally tearing off the left corner Mycroft is able to rid the bed of the dirtied sheets and feels the mattress once more. Its quite clear that if the pattern continues he’ll need a new one custom made and he knows Yuri takes almost a year to manufacture his personalized products.

It becomes clear to Mycroft that he can no longer put off his feelings if not for his sanity but for his bed.

He was going to hunt down that woman and take her out to dinner.

OTP Teeth
  • Person A: *drugged up from getting wisdom teeth removed*
  • Person B: *came to visit*
  • Person A: who are you? *attempts to strike sexy pose and fails. Loudly whispers * your hot!
  • Person B: * trying not to laugh* I-I'm (person B).
  • Person A: Well, (person B)..*drools a bit from Gauss* you must have cleaned your pants with Windex, cause I can see my self in them latter tonight. *failed wink*
  • Person B: *dying of laughter* yo- you realize- we are already dating!
  • Person A: yes! Worked like a charm!
things I have learned in my first six months of living alone
  • set aside 15/20 minutes a day to clean while your 5 fave songs play
  • hang your keys on the inside front door knob so you don’t forget them when you go out
  • open at least 1 window for at least 1 hour a day so your apartment air doesn’t get stale
  • always have a clean pair of pants, underwear, and period gear bc no one can go and get it for you
  • get one of those broom/mop poles with interchangeable broom/mop handles
  • sweep the floor at least twice a week. clean the counters and the stoves at least once a week. clean the bathroom twice a week. 
  • do not let food go to waste! donate unused food!

blue night radio ♡ 170218
translation: fantaemsie

jonghyun: i used to attend taekwondo, kendo and such with my noona when i was young. when i was in elementary school i used to be a kendo athlete. i used to wear the kendo uniform every single day. (laughs) i’d go around dragging the uniform’s pants around, cleaning the whole neighborhood with it. (laughs) and, in addition, i wouldn’t wear sneakers. it had to be slippers for certain! i used to wear the uniform from the very start of the day, then go out and i’d only wait for the time i’d get to wear it again. (laughs) i only did kendo at the time since my mother thought i started acting up a bit and needed to get some meditation.

Azriel coming home from a long, quiet night of scouting, nothing too intense, though his muscles ache and his skin is chilled from flying through the cold, winter air.

Azriel padding inside from the balcony and seeing Morrigan curled up tightly beneath the sheets of their bed, knees tucked almost into her chest.

Azriel taking a thoughtful moment to consider her hair as it falls out across the pillow in golden waves that glimmer in the pale moonlight as she gives the faintest snore.

Azriel smiling softly to stop his chuckle as he removes his weapons, places Truth-Teller against the wall with a dull thud, and begins working on the fastenings of his leathers.

Azriel turning in tickled surprised towards the bed when his leathers disappear, replaced by his bare chest and a clean pair of casual pants to sleep in that Morrigan has deemed fitting for him as she giggles at him half drunk with sleep from the bed.

Azriel padding over to her in that bed, enjoying himself as he tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and watches her eyes close, his impatient little love, she is.

Azriel moving between the sheets and pulling his Morrigan into his chest, forever craving the way her body opens immediately up and lets him in.

Azriel listening to her breathe back into sleep.

Azriel letting her pull him under.

Azriel and his Morrigan.

💙

One thing I love about Junkrat is that it’s obvs he lives in like a fuckin wasteland n shit and like, doesn’t have fuckin even clean pants or anything but this little asshole still has his fucking peg leg, gun, and riptire holster or whatever all painted, and even his fucking straps and ONE. SINGLE. GLOVE. match like what the fuck he custom made himself a fucking chest strapon and got a matching glove what the shit I hate him

10

‘Mom, this is Kensi. Kensi this is my mom. And those are words that I just said out loud.’

I liked the idea of Snorkmaiden giving Snufkin etiquette lessons so here you go.
  • Snorkmaiden: Alright, lets begin your etiquette lessons!
  • Snorkmaiden: Lesson one; when out in society, put on pants.
  • Snufkin: ALL the time?!
  • Snorkmaiden: Um, okay...let's start with something more simple. Dinner etiquette.
  • *the two of them seat themselves at the table*
  • Snorkmaiden: First, you put your napkin on your lap-
  • Snufkin: Wait, what am I going to need another napkin for? I already have this neck napkin.
  • Snorkmaiden:
  • Snufkin:
  • Snorkmaiden: That's a tie.
  • Snorkmaiden: The napkin is to keep your pants clean!
  • Snufkin: Now I have to wear clean pants? Where does it end!?
  • Snorkmaiden rings a bell and Sniff walks in with a tray.
  • Sniff: Dinner is served, because I should've known there was a catch when Snorkmaiden invited me to dinner.
  • Snorkmaiden: Now, what do you say, Snufkin?
  • Snufkin: Thank you, Sniff.
  • Snorkmaiden: NO! YOU DON'T GIVE THEM NAMES!! ...*sigh* just watch me.
  • Sniff serves Snorkmaiden her dish.
  • Snorkmaiden: YOU CALL THIS POACHED SALMON!?
  • Sniff: *picks food up* it's a grilled cheese sandwich.
  • Snorkmaiden slaps the sandwhich out of his hand.
  • Snufkin: Wow, Snorkmaiden, I don't think I could ever be as classy as you.

anonymous asked:

You look oddly like a dad. Got those dad vibes.

I kept reading that as “Ghost Dad Vibes”.

Why does it look like they’re smiling there? If my dead father phased through the door, I would be screaming, crying, and looking or clean pants.

people who wear eyeshadow everyday freak me out like how are you so in control of your life most days I can’t even find clean pants

Pick up lines to use on the signs (cheesy edition)

Aries:  “You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.”

Taurus:  “Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.”

Gemini:  “I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?”

Cancer:  “Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.”

Leo:   “Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”

Virgo: “If I were a stop light, I’d turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.”

Libra:  “Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?”

Scorpio:  “Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.”

Sagittarius:  “Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.”

Capricorn: “Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.” 

Aquarius:  “I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

Pisces: “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”