no clean pants


‘Mom, this is Kensi. Kensi this is my mom. And those are words that I just said out loud.’

Domestic Sam/Steve/Bucky

I can’t stop thinking about how Bucky most definitely waits until the most desperate hour to do laundry (when nobody has any clean pants left), then sits in the laundry room in his underwear at like 3 in the morning waiting for the machines to get done.

Or how Sam is a ‘set the delay brew timer on the coffeepot so it’s ready when I wake up’ kind of guy. Which works out great except those days were Steve and Bucky drink all of the coffee before Sam gets any.

They eat a lot of take-out because Steve is the only one who can really cook, but after a long day none of them want to wait for food.

Sam gives Bucky his old t-shirts. Bucky usually cuts off the sleeves so he has something comfy (and trashy looking as hell) to lounge around in or work out in.

people who wear eyeshadow everyday freak me out like how are you so in control of your life most days I can’t even find clean pants

Pick up lines to use on the signs (cheesy edition)

Aries:  “You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.”

Taurus:  “Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.”

Gemini:  “I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?”

Cancer:  “Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.”

Leo:   “Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”

Virgo: “If I were a stop light, I’d turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.”

Libra:  “Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?”

Scorpio:  “Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.”

Sagittarius:  “Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.”

Capricorn: “Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.” 

Aquarius:  “I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

Pisces: “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”

Sinsworld?? Patryk? hhh

Del pulled his legs up onto the couch, leaning his head against the man’s shoulder whom sat behind him.
“Sleepy?” the man asked, his thick Polish accent tugging at his words. Del shrugged, pursing his lips slightly as he
switched his gaze to the television.

“Well, someone’s still grumpy.” Patryk teased, recalling earlier that day when he had been sitting with Del at the
breakfast bar, and accidentally spilled coffee all over his lap. “Fuck you, those were my only clean pants.” Del responded,
scrunching up his nose in distaste and huffing. “It’s not a bad look on you, the whole no-pants jig.” Pat commented, glancing
down at Del’s exposed legs, shifting slightly.
   Del’s face flushed slightly before rolling his shoulders back to hide so. “That’s gay, Patryk.” he exhaled, tilting his head
to the side, hiding a smile.
   Pat leaned down, pressing a small kiss to Del’s temple, to which the younger responded with a groan, hiding his face into
the couch pillow. “Aww, don’t be angry anymore. It was an accident.” Pat whined, pulling Del’s face into his chest. Del emitted a muffled
screech, trying to wriggle away from the stronger man’s grasp.
  Pat then stared at Del’s lap, smirking slightly before slipping his hand onto so. Del paused before narrowing his eyes and
shifting his hips. “Patryk…?” he spoke softly, his face heating up.
  “Yes?” Pat replied slowly, pressing his fingers to the other’s bulge and moving them in a circular motion. Del rolled his
hips forward slightly, before realizing so and growling in frustration. “Leave me allooonnnee.” He whined in protest and trying to
stand. Patryk shook his head slowly, grabbing Del by the wrists and flipping him on his back onto the couch, straddling his hips.
   Del closed his eyes, and opened his mouth to speak before Pat cut him off.
“Who’s a good boy?” he asked, leaning down close to Del’s ear, causing him to shudder in pleasure. “Nnnf, I am n-not
saying shit for you.” He replied shakily. Pat rolled his eyes in response, pushing his knee to the other’s crotch, rubbing against
it slowly.

Del leaned his head to the side, chewing on his lip to stay quiet, panting softly. “Aww, do you like that, pet?” Patryk growled,
reaching up and curling his fingers in Del’s hair, tugging it backwards to expose his throat. “So handsome. I’d love to mark up that
pretty neck of yours.” He purred, smiling discreetly.
  Del closed his eyes, bucking his hips slightly as he wiggled his hands to free them. “Pat.” He whimpered, scrunching up his face.
Pat raised a brow, pressing his lips softly to the other male’s neck and slipping his own belt off. He then brought it up slowly above Del’s head,
looping it around his wrists and tightening so. Del squirmed and tried to bring his hands down, but Pat grabbed him by the chin, grinning slyly.
  “No no, sweetheart. You obey me. Don’t do anything unless I tell you to, got it?” He growled, narrowing his gaze as he squeezed Del’s thigh harshly.
Del nodded in response, whimpering slightly as he arched his back. “Fuck…yea. okay..” he muttered. The older man nodded contentedly, grasping Del by
the hips and dragging him closer. “Good boy. Now you stay here while I go grab some things, okay?” Del nodded in return mutely, turning his face away in embarrassment.
 Pat slowly stood up, placing a small kiss on his partner’s nose before walking off to their shared bedroom, rummaging around for a bit. As he was, Del began to shift
his hips, grinding his thighs together in hopes to be able to finish off before Patryk came back. As soon as he had made a sound, however, there was a sharp stinging
sensation on his face that made him yelp. Pat stood over him with his hand raised, smiling coyly. “What did I tell you?” He said lowly, leaning over Del and curling
his lip up. Del closed his eyes, whimpering softly before he felt a pinch on his thigh. “Well?” Patryk asked again, slipping a blindfold over Del’s eyes and clipping a black collar around his neck.

Del paused, looking around quickly before shivering. He didn’t like this feeling of not being in control. He felt vulnerable and exposed. Heaving a heavy and shaky sigh,
he spread his legs slightly, lowering his head. He soon felt someone crawl on top of him and grabbing hold of the collar around his neck. “P-Patryk..?” He asked nervously.
“Of course, doll. It’s always me. You’re mine.”

((ho boy oh boy my first smut script. I wasn’t sure which P.O.V you wanted? Also i can do a second part if you wish. @yellownoodlestick sorry for any mistakes!))

anonymous asked:


This is the modern AU version, for the canon version see here.

  • makes the bed in the mornings
    • Tessa, Will is not a neat person. 
  • has sole posession of the T.V. remote
    • Will thinks it is him but it is not, she let’s him have it because she’s usually happy to just sit and read and he likes most of the same shows that she does. When she wants to see something, that’s what they’re watching. Will might hold onto the remote and put it on the channel but they’re watching the Jane Austen documentary because Tessa decided they were. 
  • stays up until 2am reading
    • Both of them. 
  • is the bigger cuddler
    • Will.
  • does the laundry
    • Will would be really practical about household chores. If I do laundry, then I will have clean pants so I must do laundry. Tessa does her own laundry so she can use the fancy settings because Will just tosses things in and turns on ‘normal’ and once destroyed one of her blouses by trying to help.
    • He would not think do the not-day-to-day laundry though so things like curtains or table cloths or even bed sheets, Tessa would be the one to make sure those got clean. 
    • If it is in the hamper though, Will will wash it and fold it. It’s a chore they share. 
  • mows the lawn
    • Will but he spends half the time talking to the neighbour so it takes him the entire afternoon. 
  • is better at budgeting
    • Like the canon one, Tessa is careful with a budget and Will is intentional with it. They budget best when they sit down and talk it out. Will leans to overspending to get things done and she’s sometimes over-cautious so when they work together, they hit a good medium of ‘roof is replaced’ and ‘there was money for the savings account. 
  • instigates the sex (and who’s into the kinkier stuff)
    • Will is often the instigator but not always and Tessa is the more adventurous one (but he is very happy to follow her on and any and all adventures). 

Debating about getting up off the sofa and making pancakes. Was up way to early…water pills yo.

Have laundry to do today…5 weeks of travel is coming. We start in Regina and I need clean pants.

Ya…should make a stack of pancakes…🥞

i hope that the NME doesnt report that ran naked down regents street today because i was forcing myself to buy an aquascutum raincoat but knocked graham norton over on the way outside hamleys catching my toe nail on his trouser pocket and thus ripping his trousers and pants clean off him leaving him dazed and the pigeons pecking his gentleman’s vegetables…
i really hope tey dont think thats newsworthy..
—  this is what graham posted on blur forums after the NME lurked the boards and made articles abt some of his posts oh my god (via @graham-coxon)
blind date

The blind date is Sam’s idea, but Dean said “anything you want,” thinking Sam would ask for booze or books for his 33rd, not if Dean had clean pants. But if fulfilling his freak brother’s request means Dean’s got a better-than-average shot at getting laid tonight? Well, happy birthday, Sammy. Besides, any woman who agrees to a date at Jiffy Burger’s worth a look.  

But it’s Cas, in a blue button-down and dark-washed jeans, who sits down across from him.

“What the hell are you, my chaperone?” Dean scoffs.

“Sam said I’m having dinner with you.”

Sam’s a dead man.