no but seriously she beautiful this is silly so i love it

SDCC 2017 Rebecca Sugar interview

Rewind and Pause interviewed Rebecca Sugar in this fifteen-minute interview. Here’s a sorta-transcript–not word for word, but basically what the questions are and how she answered, paraphrased.

Question: A lot of the show’s symbolism is inspired by Utena. Can you discuss that show’s influence?

Rebecca: When I was a teen, that show was an epiphany for me! It plays with the semiotics of gender and I was a bisexual teen relating to it in a way I’d never related to anything before. The show is beautiful and I love that she decides she wants to BE a prince after being saved by a prince. And it’s also funny. It’s so extreme that it’s funny, and that was a huge influence on me as well, that something could be so dramatic and so beautiful but also wacky. It’s so extreme that it’s powerful at the same time as being funny. I got to see the origins and see Guys and Dolls at the Takarazuka Theater when I visited Japan. Osamu Tezuka grew up in that town! You know, Princess Knight, which has everything to do with Utena. I got to see some of the roots there and it was a big influence. Amazing.

Question: Another influence, especially lately, you can draw comparisons between Steven’s miracles and Christ figures. Are you exploring this, and potentially modernizing that allegory, with different kinds of love?

Rebecca: We’re inspired by every voice that has ever spoken about peace. I think–I’ve been reading about Hillel the Elder and how he said “If I’m not for myself, then who will be for me?” The gentleness with which he approached everything is really inspiring to me. I think that I’m very influenced by my Jewish upbringing. I’m half Jewish and was raised Jewish. I’ve felt the feeling of belonging but not belonging. I’ve been moved by this incredible history and this wonderful community that I wanted to understand and be a part of. That’s all been a big influence on the show as well. It was all about growing up with my brother, and that was a big part of my life. There’s a lot of spiritualism in the show.

Question: I wanna ask you about the color symbolism? And I’d be remiss if I didn’t say thank you for showing our community on TV. About Steven: His Gem is pink, his shield is pink, his sword is pink, his shoes are pink! It subverts the tropes of a traditional male hero. Was that intentional?

Rebecca: Oh, it’s COMPLETELY intentional. Yeah, I think one of the things I wanted to do as I went into the show was address how intensely gendered shows for children are and dissolve that. That was my first goal. And I think it came in large part because as a little kid I always gravitated toward boys’ shows, and I felt extremely guilty about that. And I don’t think my child self should have had to feel bad, but I understood “this is not really for me.” So as we went into this, I wanted NO ONE to have to feel that. I wanted everyone who wanted to, to feel it was for them. Especially since it’s gender nonconforming as a show.

Question: Silly question: Peridot and Lapis are roommates. What do you think their biggest pet peeves are of each other? If they have any, I mean.

Rebecca: Gosh. I think Lapis is sort of both annoyed and comforted by Peridot’s infinite energy. I often thought of them like the sort of old cartoon idea of a small dog and a big sort of like doesn’t-really-care dog. With a small very very excited dog. I felt that that was a dynamic for them. So I think that that, like those characters, it’s annoying to Lapis but she doesn’t actually dislike it.

Question: Congrats on the Emmy nomination!

Rebecca: THANK YOU!

Question: I hope we get to see “It’s Over, Isn’t It?” and “Both of You” during the Emmys. How do you feel?

Rebecca: I’m so excited, and I’m so glad it’s that one. It was such a fun dream to make a musical episode. I always loved those, they’re always my favorite. I couldn’t wait to do ours. Everyone was firing on all cylinders for that episode. I got to do music with Jeff Liu and Ben Levin, and Aivi and Surasshu’s compositions for the finals were stunning, the backgrounds are incredible, the art is so beautiful, it’s Jeff Liu and Joe Johnston’s last board together, it was one of the last episodes I got to work on with Ian before he left to do his show, so it also has a special place in my heart, I remember seeing it come back and being in the edit bay watching it and my eyes were welling up because “this is it, this is everything I ever wanted.”

Question: Not to mention Deedee crushing it.

Rebecca: She’s amazing! And that was when she was doing Tommy! So we got her on a day she’d been doing shows all day, and she came and knocked that out.

Question: First take?

Rebecca: We did several, but all of those takes were amazing. I love writing songs for Deedee. And that one, it has some notes in it that I cannot hit. But I know Deedee can do it.

Question: Now when you write songs, you hear a lot of the demos you write on ukulele a lot, but you play other instruments. Do you find that you write differently depending on what instrument you’re writing for?

Rebecca: Yes! Oh, completely. I have my go-to ukulele chords. But I also like to write songs on the omnichord, which is like a synthetic harpsichord from the 80s. And it has a row of buttons, you hit a button and you get that chord. I can use it for experimentation for chords I might not have thought of. I got one off eBay, the OM-84, and it was a little buggy, it wouldn’t play right, would go out of tune, and I took it to get it looked at, and these incredibly corroded batteries fell out of it! With this cloud of red dust! So I can’t put batteries in it anymore. But I can plug it in and it still works.

Question: So for “Love Like You,” is it connected to any of the characters or any point of view, or was it more a one-off?

Rebecca: “Love Like You” is so unusual. It started as a point-of-view song for all Gems, and the thesis of the whole show, sort of toward Steven, and my own brother Steven, but because it was the credits, I wrote the song over three years in little pieces. I thought at the start that this is about an alien that’s looking at a human, who loves them, and the secret meaning of this is that they don’t have the capacity to feel this way. By the middle of it I was deep into the show and going through a real crisis of confidence, where I was like “why are people looking to me? It’s not right!” and these people were coming out of the woodwork to thank me for the show, people who had been able to speak to their families in these wonderful new ways, people who had become comfortable with themselves in these incredible ways that I had not been able to do! Where I was like “I’m so inspired by everyone! Why are they thanking me?” So the middle of the song I was sort of in that place. And about a year later, I realized the beginning was not what I had thought it was about at all. It’s not a secret meaning about an alien who doesn’t understand humans. It’s about the fact that I had always loved my brother and had these people who would love me unconditionally in my life, and because of my insecurity I had not been able to be there for them 100%, and I realized this was maybe one of the most human things I’d ever written, and I had written it by accident. So I got to conclude it. It was seriously written over 3 years.

Question: Recently we talked about how the show has been dramatic and full of conflict. It’s great but do you ever have concerns about taking the show–it’s a very positive show, so does the conflict have the potential to go too far, or do you like making it more challenging?

Rebecca: I’m excited to be more ambitious with the story, and the danger they’re experiencing also feels like a danger for us who are writing the show. Writing stories that are more ambitious and challenging. It feels necessary, because it’s about how love conquers all, but you can’t write that story without showing what comes up against that. I’m excited to explore the–you’re right, it’s scary to explore where hate comes from in a show about love. I want to–it’s a challenge to stay positive while exploring that. But that’s a challenge I experience in LIFE. And that’s a challenge we’re all experiencing right now. So it also feels like the time to explore that in myself and in the show.

Sleeping Beauty (Avengers Cast x Reader Drabble)

You didn’t know that the Avengers cast can also be called sneaky paparazzis. Also you love sleeping. Who doesn’t, right?

Word count: 779

Author: @chrixa

“Hi, uh, I’m Sarah and I want to ask is it true that Y/N can sleep everywhere?” A chorus of laughter followed her question. 

“That is indeed true,” you smile at her as you nodded. 

“Oh she can sleep literally any time as well,” Chris adds as another wave of laughter filled the convention hall. 

“The Russos would just call like a 5 minute break and when you look at her she’s already asleep in someone’s lap or shoulder,” Sebastian said.

“Are we really talking about this?” You shake your head at the cast’s excitement. 

“Her favorite spot is Sexy Seabass’ lap,” Anthony smirked at your direction as the crowd cheered. 

“Hey there’s no denying that those thighs are the comfiest pillows out there,” you challenged Mackie with your smirk as well. 

“Really, Y/N? You chose Sebastian over me?” Evans asked you with a fake pout. Sebastian was just shaking his head in his chair. He faced this bickering between the three of you everyday when you were on set. Even sometimes he’d join in, when you guys weren’t bickering over him. 

“Stop whining you big baby,” Scarlett lightly slapped his bicep. 

“There’s one thing she doesn’t know though,” Sebastian said and giving you his famous one-sided smirk. You know something’s ‘bout to go down. 

“Sorry, Y/N, I really did try to stop them,” Mark apologized to you from the other end of the table. 

“What?” You ask, dumbfounded while mentally preparing yourself of what’s gonna happen in approximately three seconds. 

“We all have a picture of you sleeping, sweetheart,” Robert answered while sipping a drink from his glass. Of course they do. 

“You do not." 

"Yes we do,” Evans smiled wickedly. “We even made it into like some sort of competition of who gets the most pictures of you sleeping.” 

“You guys are evil.”

“As if you didn’t know,” Robert’s voice made everyone laugh again. 

“I have one of you sleeping on Evans’ shoulder while he plays with his phone,” Lizzie said. 

“I have a selfie with you sleeping. Look your mouth’s open,” Mackie showed the crowd the picture. 

“Can we go to the next question please?” You cover your face with your hands. They are always either a) embarrassing you or b) babysit you, there’s no in between. 

“But this is the winning number,” Evans said while showing the crowd a picture of you sleeping, obviously, on a couch, on a sleeping Sebastian Stan, still in full make up and costume. Your head was on his lap with your mouth slightly open and his ‘metal’ hand was on your stomach. Evans slides the picture to the right and there you were still in the same position while the rest of the cast was behind you and Sebastian making silly faces. Lizzie even put up a heart sign with her hands. 

You looked over at Sebastian and as you correctly predicted, his face was as red as a tomato. He was shaking his head while his shoulders shake with laughter and covering his face with his hands. “Okay next question please guys,” he said while still laughing. 

“How many pictures of Y/N sleeping do you guys have?” The moderator asked. He’s getting into it too? Seriously? 

You glanced at the table and saw that they were all scrolling through their gallery. “Seriously guys?” 

“Are you guys done counting?” The moderator, Josh, you think, asked and the audience cheered, eager to find out who won the ‘competition’. “Okay hold up your hands on 3. 1, 2, 3!” 

You saw that Robert held up a 3, Mark held up 1 (bless him), Evans held up 7 (seven?!), Sebastian held up 4, Mackie had 5 of them, Lizzie had 2 and finally Scarlett had 4. 

“Yes!” Chris pumped his fist in the air while the audience cheered another wave of excitement. 

“Chris, dear, if you want to take a picture with me all you have to do is ask. No need to be my biggest paparazzi.” 

“You know what, Y/N? I’m gonna post these pictures on Twitter.” 

“And you’ll have to buy me coffee everyday on our next movie.”

“Deal.”

“And ice cream.”

“Fine.”

“And donuts.”

“Do you want a whole restaurant as well?” 

“Okay next question!” Josh finally said. What took him so long?

It pisses me off so much how in the books Parvati and Lavender are just pidgeon-holed as ‘fashion obsessed hair heads’ for most of the books?

I mean, they might not be, but that was the impression pre-teen!me got from reading the books?

And now I’m all … okay, okay Hermione is awesome and we all know it.

But that doesn’t mean Lavender and Parvati are stupid just because they are geared differently from Hermione.

Fashion is hella hard and it requires a lot of memorization and attention to detail? And honestly Lavender and Parvati seem to be pretty nice people, in the little glimpses we get of them?

And all I want is Harry, following the Weasley without getting noticed (because he is used to sneaking around without disturbing people or attracting their attention, owing to the Dursley for that) and getting through the barrier and on the train.

And Lavender’s father helping him out with his baggage, jokingly asking him to keep an eye on his little girl? You seem like a good lad, my Lavender is the most beautiful girl, I need a strong gentleman to keep an eye out until she gets to Hogwarts and she starts to learn magic, so are you up to it?

Which is, of course, not true. Lavender has been going to self-defense lessons for years.

But the man noticed that this was a little kid with no parents around, looking all alone.

He thought 'hey, maybe I can stick him with my kid and they’ll make friends’

(btw, as Lavender is not, as far as I know, confirmed as pureblood in canon, I am going with half-blood or muggleborn for her, I’m thinking muggleborn for this specific AU?)

And Lavender is all “Daddy!” and apologizing to Harry for her dorky dad the moment he is out of the door.

And very nicely avoiding to comment on his clothes because she knows how it feels to be conscious of how your clothes look on you and it’s clear to her eyes that the way Harry is dressed he is probably from some orphanage or something because those are huge hand me downs.

(Because fuck you 90s, being fashion conscious doesn’t mean you are an elitist bitch).

And her parents are looking at her from the Platform and instead of asking about Harry’s life, not wanting to put him on the spot, Lavender waves to them and starts talking to Harry all “Those are my parents, they are so fascinated with the idea of magic and what I will learn at Hogwarts, I can’t wait to write to them all about the castle. My dad works in an office as an accountant and my mother has a column in –” Insert popular teen magazine for 90s UK.

And Harry is a bit overwhelmed but Lavender isn’t staring at him, she is not forcing him to talk and she looks nice.

So he kind of starts to tell her about the Dursely y'know, not like he did with Ron about how terrible they are, but about Vernon working for Grunnings (Lavender giggles and says 'Oh I am so sorry but it just sounds like a really silly name? Grunnings.’ and she tries to stretch the word a bit and Harry laughs a little and says yes, because it does sound silly the way she’s saying it, he just had never thought about it. 'I think it’s Swedish or something’ he offers and Lavenders nods sagely because yes, that makes sense) and how Petunia lives at home and reads all sort of gossipy papers, but not teen ones so sorry, he has never seen Lavender’s mom’s column.

And then the door to their compartment open and Parvati and Padma’s mother (I don’t know if they are pureblood but I’m headcanoning them as pureblood for this one) politely asks if there’s space for two more girls and when Lavender and Harry, after looking at each other, agree, Madam Patil levitates their trunks in (much to the amazement of Harry and Lavender) and settles them above and then guides her daughters in.

She introduces them, putting her hands on her shoulders, cautions her girls to not get wand-happy and wishes everyone a happy Hogwarts year and then leaves them there, going back to the Platform to join her husband and tell him how she left their daughters in the presence of Harry Potter.

“He looked dreadful. Hard up at the very least. I think you should look into his family situation. His clothes, at the very least, were terrible.” She murmurs, softly. “I am sure our girls will adopt him before the ride is over, so you should look forward to hearing about him in their letters.”

Her husband, who knows all about his beloved’s wife tendency to take people under her wing and adopt dangerous animals and fell in love with her for it (as well as for other qualities she has) because he’s very much the same, smiles fondly at her for the last bit and nods seriously at the first one.

It doesn’t matter who the boy is. Well it does, because Harry Potter of course, but it also doesn’t matter because no child should be mistreated.

Also it’s kind of strange that Harry Potter would look hard up, considering it’s common knowledge his parents left him handsomely provided for, full tuition to Hogwarts already paid.

Lavender gushes about how beautiful the Patil twins are, which immediately conquers Parvati, who gushes right back at Lavender’s sparkly accessories.

(Look, I might be wrong because this was the UK and not Italy, and if I am please let me know, but I was a child in the 90s, I bought italian teen magazines, sparkly shit taped to the cover under a plastic sleeve was the shit with fashionable people.)

Of course the moment Harry introduces himself, the Parvati twins try really hard not to goggle, though they do look at his scar, and then Parvati starts asking a storm of questions about where he grew up, whether the Harry Potter adventure books right about all he did since he was a child, if not that what did he do since beating You-Know-Who.

Harry 'Do you mean Voldemort?’ is greeted by soft gasps, right until Lavender asks 'Who?’ and then Parvati starts telling her all about the horrible Voldemort and how Harry and his parents saved them all from that monster.

Padma’s brain on the other hand is whirring and she is the one who reassures Harry that he will do just as fine as everybody else, when he says that.

Lavender and Parvati interrupt their convo because Lavender needs to assure to Harry that she’s muggleborn too, so they will have to learn together and he will be just on par with her, while Parvati explains that magical kids do get a leg up because some of them are allowed to practice at home but that really, she will make sure Harry is up to date with everything that is 'stupefy’ about the magical world.

At which point, Lavender asks what 'stupefy’ means and Padma explains that it’s the stunning spell, so don’t say it while pointing your wand at anyone and Parvati adds that it means, well, the most stunning things around.

(What? Wizarding children should have their own slang).

So by the point Hermione and Neville come by, the group as already made the first basic ties and while Neville is greeted and introduced by Padma and Parvati to the rest of the group, Hermione goes on fine right until she hears Harry’s name.

Padma and Parvati thinks it’s … whatever wizarding equivalent is there of gauche, that Hermione would throw that torrent of words at Harry and just … presume to know about him.

Lavender is just hella protective of her new friend.

Tightly knit protective of Harry formation is achieved in 0.2 seconds.

Neville, who has been around other pureblood children but has been condescended upon by most of them (not Padma and Parvati, given that Parvati will stick up for him later on, but still, it was a general tendency towards a potential squib) has found in Hermione one person who has been nice to him to the point of going out of her way to help him look for his embarrassing toad, so he gets protective of Hermione right back.

So basically, Parvati tells Hermione that she should not barrage people with informations like that, Neville replies timidly that Hermione didn’t mean anything bad, she just like quoting sources, Lavender tells Harry that he doesn’t have to worry, they’ll look up all that stuff when they get to Hogwarts, Hermione gets huffy because of course she didn’t mean anything bad, she just thought Harry would know about that stuff, Padma asks why Hermione would think that when Harry has been raised in the muggle world, Neville goggles at the news that Harry was raised in the muggle world.

It’s a mess.

And then Draco Malfoy arrives, because he’s been making the rounds of the train to look for Harry Potter (saying hi to family allies on the way).

I am not sure who says what to whom for most of the ‘chat’ but what I am sure of is that by the end of it, Neville and Hermione are going to be best friends forever and an united front against snobby purebloods, Padma has icily informed 'Mister Malfoy’ that she will be writing to her father about how low the raising standards of the Malfoy have fallen to produce Draco as a result, in response to a snipe Draco made about telling his father about the Patil twins and the rabble they are sticking with, Parvati has informed Crabbe and Goyle that she had not thought they were better than this but they definitely need to find themselves friends who don’t just treat them like dumb muscle and Lavender has vowed to herself that it doesn’t matter to her how cute Draco Malfoy is or how attractive his silver hair are she will spell his hair and robes to look like something an 80s hairband groupie would wear, just as soon as she learns the necessary spells.

To make it simple, battle lines have been drawn, metaphorical blood has been spilled on all sides and the Harry-Lavender-Parvati-Padma friendship has been set in stone.

Ron, if you are curious about him, found a compartment that had Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas in it and spent a really amazing first ride to Hogwarts.

They both made sure Dean knew how Gryffindor was the best house there ever is and then they explained Quidditch to him and became fascinated when Dean explained football (to americans: soccer) to them, especially once Dean started sketching out schemes and stuff.

There are too many players, but it looks like exactly the kind of team effort chasers have to put together only spread through eleven people and that’s just wow.

His || Jungkook || 0.12

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12

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Why are You like this?

Hi friends! 

Plot: Y/N feels overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to let her Harry know.

I combined my own idea with a request about H hearing Y/N admit something over the phone. 

Hint before reading: Take a moment and think of that one thing that’s overwhelming you right in this moment, the one thing that makes your stomach feel sick and the one thing that keeps you up at night. Okay now you can read it.

Pic isn’t mine but I like to think that it is.

“Are you sure everything’s alright?” 

My throat dried when I allowed my eyes to meet with his sparkling green orbs and the pure worry in them made it difficult not to tear up. With a deep breath I forced myself to smile. 

“Everything is fine, Harry,” I promised him, my tone just sweet enough for it to cover up the lie, “It was a long day.”

“Again?” Harry inquired quietly. 

“Again.” I tried to laugh but got up to walk to the kitchen when I failed.

Ever since the beginning of this week there had been a heavy and uncomfortable feeling settled at the bottom of my stomach making me feel so sick at times I believed I would vomit. 
But I couldn’t let it show. 

“Do you want some tea?” I called towards him.

“Sure, yeah. Thanks, beautiful.”

With trembling fingers I reached for the kettle and I closed my eyes in hopes of calming down enough to keep my distraught emotions a secret. And what better than a hot cup of tea?
There was nothing I loved more than spending time with Harry and if I could I would have him near me at all times. I felt myself long for him when he was gone, fantasized about being in his presence when I wasn’t and when I had him I felt at peace. Momentarily. Harry made me feel warm and without knowing it he’d become the only person who managed to decorate my face with an honest smile. We hadn’t been dating for long, only a couple of months, and it was true that we were happy. Never before had I felt this close to another person, never before did I trust somebody with my whole heart and no one had ever understood me the way that Harry did.
Harry was my everything. 
And still I couldn’t find it in me to trust him with my worried mind. 

It wasn’t that I thought Harry wouldn’t be kind. I knew if I were to tell him that I couldn’t find any peace and that not even the nights provided me with rest, he would try all he could to be supportive. 
What held me back from confiding in him was how utterly ridiculous I felt. Harry had so much going on in his life, he was under constant pressure and given even more from all sides and all at once and still he never uttered as much as one word in complaint. 
Me? I felt like crying when dealing with what was so minor compared to other people’s problems. 
How could I possibly admit this without making a fool of myself?

“Y/N?” I heard Harry’s voice call for me. 

My breath hitched and I quickly finished both of our teas. “Coming!”

Hearing my friend’s voice over the speaker of my phone relaxed me. At least a little. Kat hadn’t had the time to talk properly in a while due to her job taking up a lot of space in her life and selfishly it felt good to hear that I wasn’t the only person who wasn’t having the best week. 

“So anyway,” Kat spoke, “Things took a turn to the better when the guy I told you about showed up again. I think he recovered form the flu or something.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

She chuckled. “I bet your day gets better the moment you have Harry around to comfort you.” 

“Well,” I sighed, “Having him around does bring me joy.” 

When my voice quivered I knew I messed up.

Kat cleared her throat. “What’s the matter? Does he not understand or what?”

“I’m sure he would,” I muttered. 

“Meaning?”

I didn’t reply. Kat laughed breathlessly. 

“You seriously didn’t tell him? Y/N, he’s your boyfriend! And if I receive text after text about how shitty everything is going for you then something really must be up.”

A lump formed in my throat and I let out a small whine. “I don’t know how to talk to him about this thought.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged even though she couldn’t see. “Harry has so much going on in his life. Never does he get a break not even on his days off. How could I burden him with my stupid and silly problems when his mind is full of much more important things?”

“Because he’s your boyfriend!” Kat repeated. 

“Is that your answer to everything?”

“In a relationship it’s about being there for each other,” Kat lectured, ignoring my words, “You support him constantly. It’s time you let him do the same for you.”

My head snapped up at the noise of my front door opening and then falling shut. 

“Y/N? You home, baby?” My heart fluttered at his voice.

“That’s Harry,” I quickly informed Kat, “I got to go.”

With fast steps I walked further into the bedroom and away from where I could hear Harry moving closer towards me.

“Of course,” Kat said and I could hear the smile in her voice, “Just remember. You have to be honest with Harry and tell him how you feel. Otherwise you’re being unfair to him.”

“I know,” I agreed lowly, “I know you’re right.”

Harry’s knuckles lightly knocked onto the wooden door and I turned around to look at him with a smile growing on my face. He looked insanely good. His hair was tousled from the clod wind I knew was tormenting outside, his upper body adorned a thick jumper and his legs were forced into much too tight jeans which to my benefit left little to the imagination. 

“Hey,” I breathed.

“Hi.” His voice was quiet and I shuddered when the smile on his face didn’t reach his beautiful eyes. 

I walked over to him and reached for his arm. “I’m just going to finish this call really quickly, okay? Then I’m all yours.”

“S’okay,” Harry said and shrugged off my touch, “I just came over to return the shirt you left at my place the other day. M’actually bit busy so I’m just going to head out again.”

My heart sank. “I thought you would stay tonight?” 

Harry nodded towards the phone in my palm. “You should’t let your friend wait, Y/N. Wouldn’t want you to be unfair to anybody, right?” 

And with that he turned around, out of my reach and towards the exit. The shirt he’d brought me was carelessly thrown onto the mattress and I watched him leave with tears already burning my eyes. What the hell had just happened?

“Y/N? You still there?” 

Kat’s voice ripped me back from my thoughts and I quickly told her that I was fine and needed to go. Then I hung up. 
Great. Now not even my relationship was something I could find comfort in. There was no point in running after him as I new Harry moved fast and since he’d arrived by car I was sure he must be long gone. With my palms ice cold, my legs weak and my stomach in knots I sat down on the bed I’d thought I would be spending the night with Harry on, feeling the most uncomfortable and unhappy and in in general at a low I hadn’t reached before.
There was no way I could hold back the tears from burning my cheeks and soon I was a sobbing mess, laying alone on the cold fabric of my bed.

From Harry, 7:20pm.
I’m sorry I left like that, love. How about I come back over and we spend the night together like we planned? x

From Harry, 7:22pm. 
Don’t ignore me now. I know I was being harsh. A bit of a dick actually and I wanna make up for that. Please let me, baby. xx

From Harry, 7:23pm. 
I heard your conversation with Kat. 

With puffy eyes I stared at the three messages. I breathed in shakily and shook my head before picking up the device to reply. There was no way I could face him when I was like this. I felt ashamed enough as it is and couldn’t bear the thought of letting my boyfriend see me in this weakened state.

From Y/N, 7:30pm.
It’s okay, Harry, no worries. I’m a bit tired though. Don’t think that hanging out tonight is a good idea. I’m sorry. x

From Y/N, 7:33pm.
If you want we could meet up tomorrow?

Teardrops smeared the screen and I brushed them off quickly in order to read Harry’s reply. My heart sank even further upon reading it.

From Harry, 7:34pm.
If that’s what you want.

It was what I’d wanted. Still, my chest crumbled and the room filled once more with desperate and loud cries as I let it sink in that I’d successfully driven Harry away. A shaking palm clasped over my mouth as I attempted to somehow quieten the noises of my breakdown as I didn’t want to alarm my neighbours. 
What was I supposed to do? What was I to tell him tomorrow? That was if he even wanted to see me.
My eyes were sore, my throat dry and slowly but surely everything began to hurt. Really ache. 

My entire body froze and I forced myself to calm down long enough to make sure I hadn’t heard wrong. No. There was once again the distinct sound of somebody knocking on my front door. Oh god please no. I scrambled to my feet with hurried movements and came to a tumbling stand. With harsh movements I brushed the tears from my smeared cheeks. 

“Y/N.” It was quiet but I heard and my heart began to pound heavily in my chest. What was he doing here?

“Harry?” I asked, my voice small and trembling weakly. 

I sniffled noisily and tried to steady my breath. 

“Course it’s me, love,” Harry hummed, his voice gentle, “Mind opening the door for me? Letting me in, sweetheart?”

“Harry, I really don’t think-”

“I hear it, baby,” he spoke softly, “You’re crying.” His voice sounded so sad, so empty of the anger it held earlier. 

The pet names spoken with so much affection, the gentleness in his words and tone… I couldn’t fight any longer. 
With uncertain fingers I unlocked my front door and before I could turn the handle I had Harry’s arms wrapped around my waist as he forced his way into my apartment. 
Breathing in his scent as I nestled my face into the warm space between his shoulder and his neck, one of my hands wound itself into his short curls while the other clasped the back of his neck. Harry’s arms tightened around my body, bringing me impossibly close to his chest as he pushed the both of us further inside. I didn’t see but I heard him shut the door with his foot. 

“Harry,” I whimpered, trying desperately to step away from him, worried that the endless stream of tears would mess up his jumper. 

“No.” Harry’s embrace was tight. He ignored my protest and instead hoisted me up higher so that he could carry me to the couch in my small living room. 

I was full on sobbing by this point, my desperation only increasing when he let go of me after making me sit on the couch. My arms were taken into his hands and I turned my head away when he crouched down. 

“Y/N, look at me.”

I shook my head, a whimper escaping my parted lips. Harry’s hands moved gently, his fingers drew circles onto my skin. Normally the gesture was enough to calm me down but not today. I felt utterly embarrassed and I knew that Harry slowly began to realize too that this wasn’t just a small and simple break down. 
This was me, crumbling after having suffered under too much pressure for too long. This was me truly breaking down and falling apart right in front of his eyes.
I gasped upon feeling him press his face into my open palms. 

“My sweet girl,” Harry breathed into my hands, “Tell me if there is something that I can do for you, you hear?”

“There- there’s no-nothing, Harry.” I swallowed shakily and stared at the back of his head. 

Slowly he looked up at me, green eyes wide, kind and patient. His warm hands clasped mine and my breath hitched when his heart shaped lips pressed a loving kiss to them. 

“That’s okay, too,” he reassured, “In that case I will just do what I think you need right now, yeah? And if you want something different you tell me.” 

He waited for me to nod, a small smile gracing his lips. Harry got to his feet quickly and immediately I was scooped back into his arms and brought to his chest. I hiccuped and Harry chuckled. 
His body settled onto the couch and I gasped when he placed my own body right on top of his, my back pressed to his chest. His face settled into my neck and I shuddered upon feeling his warm breath. One of Harry’s arms wrapped around my middle while he gently touched my forehead with his other hand, making me rest my head on his shoulder. 
I sighed and turned so I could nudge his neck with my nose. Next a blanket was pulled over my form, making sure that I was warm. 

“Harry,” I whispered into his skin. 

He intertwined our legs together before kissing my cheek. 

“No more crying,” he said lowly, chest rumbling against my back, “It breaks my heart to see you like this. Which doesn’t mean that I want you to ever keep it from me again when you feel this way.”

The terrible knot at the bottom of my stomach loosened and the longer I breathed him in the more I could feel my heart relax. My breathing slowed, the tears slowly ceased from falling. My own arms wrapped around his and our hands found each other. 

“I’m sorry,” I apologized against his skin.

He shook his head and squeezed me. “No, no, my love. S’not what I want. You don’t have to apologize for anything. All I want is that you trust me. That you know that I’m here. Always.”

“I want to see you.” 

Careful not to hurt him I turned to lay on my stomach, my body pressed tightly against his chest and I leaned up to press a kiss to his soft skin of his chin. 
Harry groaned lowly at the sensation. 

“You’re my girlfriend,” Harry murmured, his hands rubbing up and down my back, “You can lean on me. Confide in me. Don’t want hear that you’re unwell and hiding it.”

I hummed.

“Are you comfortable?” I wondered quietly, referring to his position.

“Very,” he assured me with a nod, cheekily grabbing my bum and giving it a squeeze. 

I swatted his chest with a laugh and he removed his hands and settled them onto my hips instead. I found it hard to believe that having my body sprawled out on top of his was in any way comfortable but in this moment I knew there was nothing other than being in his arms that would heal my tormented mind.

“S’embarrassing though,” I admitted quietly, my unsure eyes finding his. 

“S’not,” he argued, “S’part of being in a relationship. I’m yours, you’re mine and we’re both there for each other.”

I liked how natural his words sounded. How much sense they made.

“But,” I began, “what I’m dealing with is so stupid and you-”

“And I’m never too busy to take care of you just like I trust in you always being there when I really need you. And nothing that makes you cry is stupid to me.”

Harry smiled kindly and I could feel myself doing the same. Gently I reached up to cup his cheek and a tiny gasp escaped my mouth before his lips found mine in a loving kiss. Instantly I melted into him. 
His hands held me close, my own scratched his cheek while the other held onto his hair and for the first time all week I felt like I could truly breath. Harry’s presence took over all of my senses as I cuddled myself even more into his embrace. We continued to kiss until my lungs burned and this time when I teared up it was because my heart couldn’t hold the amount of happiness. 

“Why are you like this?” I whispered, staring at my handsome boyfriend with wonder in my eyes. 

He smiled and pressed another kiss to my temple. “Because you’re important to me. I need you to know that, love.”

“I do. Thank you so much, Harry. And I care about you, too. So much.”

Another kiss followed to my lips before Harry drew back to rub his nose against mine in a heartbreakingly sweet gesture. 

Hope you liked this! Wrote it in one go so apologizes for any mistakes. Also, if any of you are dealing with something shitty at the moment I have my fingers crossed for you and know you’ll be alright. x

The rest of my writing: 
Masterlist

2016: The Return To Anime

I used to watch a lot of anime before, but when I moved away from my friends whom were fellow fans of Japanese animation, I became really bad at taking any initiative to sit down and watch anything new. So my New Years resolution was to simply watch more anime during 2016 (for inspiration and entertainment)! ;D And in order to prove to said friends that I am indeed keeping my promise, as well as to take the opportunity to recommend good shows to others, I will be sharing my progress list and general opinions.

OBS: Some of these shows are not appropriate for an younger audience!! Before viewing, please check out  the recommended age restrictions, genre and potential trigger warnings!  

END OF YEAR UPDATE: 25 shows in total! Not bad at all considering that I maybe watched 2-3 shows the year before. But I still have a lot of series that I want to see, so don´t be surprised if I make a new post for 2017. ;) 

My personal top 3? I would say Death Parade, Re:Zero and Madoka Magica. 


ANIME COMPLETED:

Mushishi (S1) - Not a single cliffhanger in the whole show, so it makes for  perfect bedtime stories for teens/adults. The english dub was really good and the landscape art is 10/10.


Kino No Tabi/Kino´s Journey (S1) - Do not let the simple and cute style fool you! This show contains murder, cannibalism, suicide and war!! And it asks the hard questions in life!! RUN if you do not want to contemplate the meaning of existence!!


One Punch Man (S1+3OVA) - OK, now I know why this is in 4th place on IMDB´s “Best TV-series” list. The animation is some of the best I have ever seen in an action anime! It is simply stunning to look at and it is fun ride all the way to the out of this world (literally) finale. 


Sakurako-san No Ashimoto Ni Wa Shitai Ga Umatteiru/Beautiful Bones: Sakurako’s Investigation (S1) - Pretty much like an anime version of the TV-show Bones. I love mysteries where you have to follow clues in order to solve a murder so a second season is strongly desired.


Owari No Seraph/Seraph Of The End (S1+S2+10OVA) - Pretty predictable, but the the bloody fight scenes are fabulous. Needs even more angst thou (…she said even though a bunch of children are butchered in the very first episode….). >:3 


Death Parade (S1) - And there is all the angst!!! Do not watch if you do not like pain in your soul!! Heart cannot be repaired!! AHRUM!! Excuse me. The show is really well written and the artists really knew how to create the perfect atmosphere to tell this dark story.  


Free! (S1+S2+4OVA) - It feels like everyone and their grandmother has seen this show, so of course I fell on the bandwagon. For the first 11 episodes thou I was very neutral to it… But goddammit the first season finale had me sheering, squealing and tearing up!! (Let Rin be happy!!) Sadly only the S2 OVA had me laughing; apart from that episode, the humor was not at all up my alley.


Zankyou No Terror/Terror In Resonance (S1) - I really like the style and the smooth animation in this one. And DANG, THAT ENDING! If you like thrillers that are completely based on reality and science (like Beautiful Bones) then this could be perfect for you.


Wolf’s Rain (S1+4OVA) - I remember trying to watch this when I was like 15, but I never got past episode 3 for some reason. Which is a real shame because I think that I would really, really liked it then. Perfectly angsty and tragic for little wannabe-emo-teen-me. Do you like dark fantasies with pretty people/wolves? Then do not miss out on this one! 


Mahon Shoujo Madoka Magica/Puella Magi Madoka Magica (S1+1 movie) - Oh shit. Oh holy shit. I would never have guessed that this show, this thing that looks so darn innocent and cute in design and summary, would have me in so much emotional turmoil (very much like Steven Universe in that way). But seriously; amoungst all of the animes on this list, this is in my opinion the one with the most captivating story-line, plot development and characters (I simply had to watch all 12 episodes in one sitting). Some people hate the ending, but I think it worked really well (even though all the tears could have clouded my judgement). And if you liked the show, then you MUST watch the movie Rebellion! Also: One of the the best English dubs I have ever heard in my life!! UPDATE: I have now seen everything twice… I cry every times I see Homura on screen. (O_Q)


Kuragehime/Princess Jellyfish (S1) - I watched this before when it first came out but I had a hard time remembering anything from it apart from the characters. Glad I gave it a re-watch because it´s super cute and silly; perfect for when you just want to give your feels a break from all the angst and suffering other shows come with (*stares at the one above*). I also highly recommend the live-action movie based on this! :D 


Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi/Erased (S1) - This show is both intriguing and stunning! I love how modern animation uses lightning and this show is a good example of that (same goes for Death Parade). Downside: Stress, stress and even more stress!! Please, just let the small children live!!! My heart cannot take this torture!! D,,X But the stress aside, it was all worth it at the end. 


Jigoku Shojo/Hell Girl (S1) - My Golb, the young girls in this look exactly like the characters I would draw at 14-16. X,D The animation is just okay, and it takes a long time before we learn anything worthwhile about the main characters. But what made me watch a whole season (26 ep) was because of the interesting stories in each episode. It was fascinating to see how little/much it was required for people to give up their souls for eternal damnation in return for the death of a person they hated. 


Steins;Gate (S1+1OVA) - It took me a while to get into the story, but by the half way point, when shit got really intense, I was waaay hooked. I usually do not like stories that involve time-traveling because it makes my head hurt, but this (Like Madoka Magica) was really well written. I have very little to fault the show on ((apart from how the harassment of a trans girl is used for comedy in at least 2 episodes…)) and would recommend!


Love Live! School Idol Project (S1+S2+1 movie) - Decided to watch something really cute with sis again and this is what we ended up with. And oh darn it, it is cute alright! Everything is so sugary sweet and lovely, and good music too that you will hum on for weeks. Apart form the occasional funky looking CGI (which actually looks really good in the movie), the animation is top notch. A simple story about a bunch of girls and their lives and friendships when guys are not in the picture.


Makura No Danshi/Pillow Boys (S1) - Finally met up with my anime loving friends and this was one of the things we saw. The episodes in this are very short, all of which are about different types of guys talking to YOU before you go to sleep. It´s… different to say the least. Who was my favourites? Hmmm… I guess the guy from Ep 2, since I recall him the clearest. He also felt like someone who had known me for a while and I appreciated that. WARNING: Ep 10 did give me some extreme rapist vibes! BAD TOUCH!! (O_O)


Koutetsujou No Kabaneri/Kabaneri Of The Iron Fortress (S1) - If you like bloody action of high quality with humans fighting against superhuman enemies then this is most surely something for you. Many parallels can be pulled to Attack on Titian, but I would never call this a rip-off. All the animation is in the A+ class and there is this wonderful colouring/lighting effect they sometimes use for close ups which makes the characters look absolutely stunning. The level of details on the character designs also stuck out to me (A+ there too).


Shokugeki no Soma / Food Wars: Shokugeki no Soma (S1+S2+1OVA) - Also known as food porn. I had never heard of this until Dan and Phil mentioned it in a video and when I understood that it was about food I had to check it out. I love shows/stories that are centered around cooking (Hell´s Kitchen, Master Chef, Kitchen Princess, etc) so I really got hooked on this. Not only is the food animated beautifully, but you learn a lot at the same time. And the absurd (dirty) humor is so redicoulus that I cannot help but laugh.


Re:Zero Kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu / Re:ZERO - Starting Life in Another World (S1) - When I first saw posters for this show they never caught my interest. It looked so much like the generic fantasy harem anime that I just ignored it. But then a friend forced me to actually see it and BOY was I wrong. Let me put it this way: Imagine Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni but with a higher budget and set in a fantasy land. So if you enjoy blood, gore and mind games, check this baby out!


Ghost Hunt (S1) - I know that I had seen this anime when it was new, but apparently I never saw the final episodes of the season since I had no idea what was going to happen. But glad that I saw this again! Not the scariest or goriest show out there, but it is fun and entertaining. My favorite part is how all the characters get along even though they have different beliefs and ways of dealing with the unknown. 


Psycho-Pass (S1 + S2 + 1 movie) - Everybody were recommending this show to me and I understand why. There is detective work, blood/gore, and some kick-ass action; just right for me. However, I am not into all the tech porn (you know - when the put so much time and focus on weapons and other technology when they open up, charge, fire, etc. Not my thing!), but it was still a good anime. The only downside was that I felt very little when characters died, which was strange since I usually get attached very easily and morn fictional characters on a regular basis.  


Mayoiga / The Lost Village (S1) - Oh maaan. I was expecting something along the lines of Battle Royale, but this was nothing but a big disappointment. There was so much potential in the first episodes for this to become the next Another or Corpse Party, but nooo. Lack of death aside, I guess it had it´s creepy moments, but the finale was not worth the wait in my opinion. I was actually so upset by the final twist that I sat down and basically created an alternative version of the story. Same basic structure, characters, feel and pitch, but with a more classic psychological horror plot. I would also have put the focus on other characters over the two basic cardboard cutouts (I vote for Valkana and Nanko!).


Corpse Party: Tortured Souls - Bougyakusareta Tamashii No Jukyou (5OVA) - I had seen this before when it first came out, but since I am still in a Halloween mood I decided to give it a re-watch. Totally one of those shows that I cannot look away from (not only because I need the subs, but you know what I mean). Spooky details all over the place blended with intestines and body horror. I may not be a big fan of the Elfen Lied-wannabe character designs, but I would totally watch it a third time when I once again forget the ending. I was so shocked that all I could do was to stare at the screen while the credits passed by. 


Mira Nikki / The Future Diary (S1) - That moment you like the premise and concept of a show, but dislike the main characters. Damn that moment. It could be that the English dub makes the protagonists seem more douchey than what they actually are in the oringal Japanese version, or it´s just that they are both written poorly (IMO). But I like the background characters and there is some genuine tension throughout the show, so I watched it all.


Yuri!!! On ICE (S1) - I had been looking forward to this since the first trailer, so it was really really hard for me to wait until all episodes had aired before I had a marathon. But gah! It was worth it! There are no cliffhangers no, but the show just makes you feel so warm and fluffy that you want to see more right away. It is a sports anime, but the characters and relationships are so well developed that I would say to give it a chance even if sports isn’t for you. You will still fall in love with everybody and you just want them all to win gold and be happy!!

PS: Oh dear brother of mine, if you are reading this, be prepared for an anime night next time we meet. You and Jorge will love this! ;D


BONUS:

Kimi No Na Wa / Your Name (movie) - Hands down one of the best MOVIES I have seen this year. Well made, a story that pulls you in, heart-wrenching and beautiful music. This is totally up there amongst Wolf Children and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time and I will definitely be showing this to all my friends, no matter if they are into anime or not. 

Imagine Dean meeting your parents while you spend the weekend in your old home and realizing he wants to have a family with you.

“De-Dean” a whimper left your lips even if you meant to say it in a completely different way “Dean please, we- we can’t. Not again.” a small whine left your lips when his lips actually detached from the skin of your neck even if that was the exact thing you were asking him.

“Sweetheart, are you really telling me you don’t want it?” he said with a smirk, looking up at you through his eyelashes before he kissed back your collarbone and you let a small groan, mixing with a moan when his lips started trailing down.

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.” you whined softly, still arching your back upwards to press yourself closer to him “But D, you- you know we-” you gasped softly when you felt him bite you, his face inching closer to your chest as his hands worked one on the bra and the other on your panties, which by the way were the only things you were wearing. Not for long, though.

“We can’t do it now.” you said with a moan and he pulled away, looking down at you “My parents are gonna hear us.” you bit your lip.

Keep reading

Adorable Jerks + Bonus Chat

Pairing: Sam x f!Reader

Request:

Could you do a Sam x reader where the reader and sam just constantly tease bucky and Scott (maybe with the use of memes)


Sam has created a chatroom.

Sam has added Y/N, Bucky, Scott.

Scott: Hi! :) How are you two?

Bucky: what is this

Bucky: what do you two want

You: HE PROTEC

You:

Sam: BUT HE ALSO ATTAC

Sam:

Bucky: S T O P

Scott: I have one question, that really needs to be answered: How did you get pictures of those events?

You: A tech genius never reveals the fairly obvious answer.

Sam:

Sam: when you see an insect

You:

You: when the insect sees you

Bucky: You think you’re so funny :(

Bucky: Well you are but whatever :(

You: thank you snape? ◔̯◔

Keep reading

Your favorite authors are being threatened...

…and no one wants to take it seriously. (by me, a RQ blog)

Earlier this morning, various threats to beloved NYT bestselling authors like Victoria Aveyard, Leigh Bardugo, and Cassandra Clare came into the light on Twitter.

It started with NYT bestselling author of the Red Queen series, Victoria Aveyard ( @vaveyard ) retweeting this photo of a threat she had received in hopes of getting Twitter to do something about the threat (this is not the first time she has been threatened/harassed on the website)

*the second photo is not Aveyard, she was not physically hurt

Aveyard’s response: “Well at least now we all know what to do. Torn bc they clearly want the attention but I also want this recorded and seen. Blegh. No apologies necessary, guys. The fault is not with us. Twitter needs to do better to protect users from serial harassers. This bleeds into the issues with stan twitter. We get threats like this, be they real or “jokes.” We can’t differentiate. We don’t know you. You can’t support women defending against their harassers while also perpetuating a culture of harassment for your own entertainment. We see you making snide jokes about our weight and our worth and our humanity so you can giggle with each other. It’s not great but okay. But a direct threat? Come on. You can’t do that & cry abuse when the person you are threatening to harm responds. Twitter isn’t a vacuum.“

Twitter took awhile to suspend the account, and at first notified Aveyard that “there was no violation of Twitter’s Rules regarding abusive behavior” which led to many fans reporting the account even more and tweeting at Twitter directly to provide better care against threats. 

Aveyard’s final response to fans: “Again, account finally suspended. But the person is just going to make another. Thanks for all the reporting, people. It means a lot.”

Aveyard later was defending fellow author Leigh Bardugo ( @lbardugo ),  NYT bestselling author of Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom, and the Grisha trilogy, after ‘fans’ claimed Bardugo would “come after [them] with her cane”

Aveyard’s response: “Not interested in calling out people but definitely want to highlight how ugly this behavior is. What is the goal here? Where is your shame? …can we just acknowledge there is something incredibly broken if anyone thinks this is acceptable?”

Bardugo herself responded to the multiples claims on herself and other fellow authors about the ridiculousness of the level of harassment and how it indeed must be taken seriously, as well as why the authors are rightfully concerned.

Bardugo’s response: “This is some spectacular gaslighting. Let me explain the difference since you guys are creating false equivalences… and I do this knowing that there’s no way to “win.” You guys have decided that somehow, by calling out a vile threat, we’re the bullies. What were the consequences to the OP? She told an author “big b*tch, I’m coming for you” then threatened to corner her at Bookcon & beat her. A whole lot of people had to say, “Even if you’re joking, this isn’t okay.” Aside from just being cruel and ott… We have no way of knowing if it’s a credible threat, if the person is unwell and actually dangerous, or just a kid who thinks it’s funny. We have no way of recognizing that person or persons at a huge conference event with fairly lax security. I take no joy in making a kid feel bad, but that kid came with a lot nasty vitriol and you guys thought it was HILARIOUS. Zero empathy. If you think me walking around Bookcon with my cane is A THREAT and not, y'know, a way for me not to tip over… I’m not sure there’s anything more to say. I told Cassie I had her back and made a LoTR reference. Pretending you think it was a threat… God this is tiresome. If you don’t like me, if you think I might wield my mighty cane against you, I’m super easy to avoid. For one thing, I can’t run very fast #criplife. For another, you know what I look like and where I’m gonna be. I don’t have that advantage. And honestly, I shouldn’t have to spell this out. I want to be excited about Bookcon, about meeting readers… Not somehow having to explain how I have the right to defend myself or my friends if I’m VIOLENTLY ATTACKED… I’m sorry for the negativity. I know it’s a tiny fraction of the community who think this stuff is okay.“  

Cassandra Clare ( @cassandraclare ), NYT bestselling author of the Mortal Instruments was threatened by more than 3 accounts with tweets suggesting she would be cornered and beaten up at future book signings (referenced by Bardugo above).

Clare’s response: “A few people have asked me if I’m looking for tweets about this whole BEA/threats situation. I’m not, but of course my friends/agent/publisher are. This is a really serious situation. No one I work with think specific threats to beat the fuck out of him in a place I WILL be, is funny or a joke. I don’t go looking - seeing negativity online is nothing I enjoy. But I do get sent links because no one is invisible on the internet. I think there’s an idea that threats, etc are not threats if the intention was that they not be seen. And the argument that threats are "fan language” - no one has a lock on specific kinds of violent threats. Whatever the source we have to take them all equally seriously… I hope it doesn’t take authors getting hurt physically (more than they already have) for this kind of thing to stop being ‘funny.’“

An exchange between Bardugo, Clare, and a few random ‘fans’ pointed out some were annoyed at the authors for coming to social media about the threats

After all three bouts occurred, Aveyard retweeted the following message from  Brittany Cavallaro, NYT bestselling author of A Study in Charlotte and The Last of August.

Cavallaro’s response: "Ultimately, what’s gained by threatening authors online and at events, at assuming that a small window into their lives via Twitter…or that you ‘know them’ because of their books and so have the right to harass them or push into their personal lives…the end result is that you’ll lose that access. Authors will not do events. Will leave social media. Will take themselves away… Because right now, I’m definitely not writing. I’m reporting trolls and wondering how it came to this, why some readers think it’s okay.”

Queen Aveyard gave some notable responses to a few rude tweets about the whole fiasco:


As for Twitter and neutral fans who do not see these as actual threats, please realize that these beautiful authors are real people. Words hurt, sure, but seeing things like this can be terrifying, whether they’re real or not, it means someone at least thought about it, and you never know what can break someone. Not to mention that responses like this are caused by such silly things as who an author writes as a canon ship? That is utterly ridiculous and unacceptable. 

 Authors are now wanting to leave social media and seriously reduce the amount of response time to fans because of bad apples like these. Do not be one of these fake fans. The books that they write belong to them. They come from their imagination and expertise. It is their job and passion to give us these stories. We need to find stories we like to love and be okay with stories that don’t go the way we planned because they are not our stories. Threatening an author is never an okay route to go to get what you want. Turn those angry fingers to watt pad and write your own stories instead of pushing authors away from the internet. 

Jungkook: When you catch him masturbating

Genre: Smut

Tags: sex talk/ masturbation/ kinky play

MAFIA AU

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

Characters:

You: The leader of a mafia organisation. 

Jeon Jungkook - Master of burglary and a hitman. You were childhood friends but now he works for you. 4 years younger. Doing his best to prove that despite his age he’s the right man for you.

Originally posted by pjmjjk


Setting: Having been sent on a mission to steal a very expensive piece of art, Jungkook arrives at your house to report on his job and to deliver the valuable object into the hands of its rightful owner.

If one ever asked Jeon Jungkook what was the thing that he craved most in his life he would without a doubt mention your name. He admired you. Pure adoration and much too visible eagerness displayed on his face whenever your eyes met and lingered a bit too long on each other. You were his boss. Free from doubt, he respected you greatly and made sure never to disappoint the object of his desire. That was probably why he had always been the best in completing even the most challenging and painfully shitty tasks no one else was capable of handling. Utter devotion and competing nature of your younger subordinate and childhood friend Jungkook never ceased to amaze you. It was only natural to turn to him yet another time. After all, wasn’t it obvious that he’d have been more than thrilled to fulfil your orders? Yes, you knew it well. The prospect of a possible reward left him even more restless and yearning for your attention each and every time. 


His main problem that he had to struggle with on numerous occasions however, was the fact that in your eyes he had always been a shy and cute younger friend who had to be protected. Definitely not a real man that could very well make your legs feel wobbly when in his presence.    


On the other hand, poor Jungkook could not possibly realise the fact that you were more than acutely aware of his now changed physics and strikingly different vibes that were coming out of him whenever he entered the room. Was this really the same lost baby boy with puppy eyes that used to sneak into your bed because he could not fall asleep? 


Hell, no. The moment you saw him after a 4 years break had made you question your ability to see properly. He was ridiculously handsome. Tall, slim, but with visible muscles that his too tight clothes exposed all too well. The way he walked even. His voice. Everything so drastically different you wanted to scream. And, there he was - wooing you and doing everything to prove that despite his age he can make you his. Everything to make you see that your mafia boss ass would never find better hands to take care of it. Both, literally and metaphorically.

So, once called to your office and after having heard that he indeed can once again cater to your silly whims, his stomach jumped in excitement.


Originally posted by jjks

Y: Stop smirking and answer. Will you be able to complete the mission or no?

K: Seriously, though… another painting, noona? How many have I fetched for you so far?

Y: Do you have any problems with that? Shall I ask Taehyung if you chicken out already?

K: No such thing.

His voice turned dark and hoarse. After all, you really knew how to pull his strings. Who was the one smirking now?.

K: I’ll take my leave, then. We’ll see each other soon.

Y: Mhmmm…

K: No, very soon…

He corrected himself and you raised your eyes from the documents only to see his back disappearing behind the doors of your office.


The mission had gone smoothly. He’d been extremely motivated to steal that one particularly expensive piece of art for his beautiful boss. Sadly, Jeon Jungkook, professional hitman and a burglar had run into some unexpected problems on the way, which had left him slightly wounded in the end. Had he been too careless because of all that tormenting images in his head? Had it been too difficult to focus on the task at hand with your pretty face taunting him over and over again? He had refused to answer any of these nagging questions and immediately after retrieving the object of your desire his feet found its way to your breathtaking house. 


You went out of your room to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen when you saw him standing in the middle of the vast room, holding tightly onto the neatly wrapped piece of art. A small smile forming on your face, but it died out just as quickly. What was that red stain on his shirt?

Instead of going forward, your legs stopped obeying you and you found yourself taking a step back. It looked so nasty. His shirt was drenched with sticky, red liquid. Was it getting too hot in the room? You suddenly felt it was hard to breathe.

Only then did you notice your loving sister and also a partner in running one of the most fearsome Mafia gangs in the country clutching to his devastated t-shirt in an attempt to perhaps have a better look of his wound?

Wound

The word resonated in your head and you didn’t like the way it made you feel.

K: It’s alright, Lulu. I’m ok. It’s nothing major.

He tried to push away her prying fingers. Hands stretched out for you to show the prize that doubtlessly proved that he had completed the mission without fail.

Originally posted by donewithjeon

Only now you did not care much about that foul painting. You could tear it to shreds right there and then.

Despite having problems with standing he looked so content and proud for having been able to successfully finish his task.

L: Oh, fuck Kooks, it looks so awful! Get that ass of yours to the bathroom I have to tend to this wound or otherwise you’ll bleed out on all the carpets.

You knew your sister well enough to realise that she was just joking around to ease the tension. One quick glance in your direction showed her how bad the situation was.

K: Common, it’s nothing to make a fuss about!

Before she had a chance to respond you cut the discussion short with your command.

Y: Do as you’re told and stop fucking around, you brat!

He looked a bit bewildered but also knowing Jungkook too well, Lulu started pushing him into the direction of the bathroom, not letting him engage into yet another fight with you.

Once out of your sight, you felt yourself getting teary-eyed. Guilt, worry and regret… All these emotions hit you out of a sudden. You were glad Lulu was there. You could not take care of his injury with your hands shaking like that. You felt weak. You didn’t want to show how badly this incident affected you. Since when exactly was the head of a mafia organisation so fragile?

You decided to get him some food. He must have been hungry and tired. The operation to get the painting had taken the entire night and it was only a matter time for him to finally feel the exhaustion spreading over his body.

Not long after, the smell of freshly prepared food fioated around the house. As expected, forever hungry Jeon Jungkook came back to the kitchen the moment his nose sensed it. If there was something that hadn’t changed since he was a child it definitely must have been his appetite. Fond memories started roaming in your head again.

The food was ready soon after. You were observing him as he was sitting at the table and stuffing his cheeks with curry rice you had prepared for him. Cute. Your heart skipped a beat. That fucker… You hated him for being so fucking perfect.

He was visibly tired. Eyes getting smaller and smaller. He rubbed them in between stuffing another portion of rice into his now red from exhaustion fluffy cheeks.

He gulped two 0,5 glasses of cola one after the other. Asked for seconds and after devouring it you thought he’d have fallen asleep on the table.

Y: Why don’t you go and have a nap in my room?

Your melodic voice brought him back to reality. He wanted to respond but only a huge yawn escaped his mouth. He simply nodded instead and took his way to your room where he had a shower and collapsed on your bed just after.


K: Oh god… it feels so good in her bed.

He felt blessed. He was so comfy. It really felt amazing and he was struggling at this point so much. It wasn’t like every day he had a chance to lay down in your bed. He was totally taken in by the smell of your sheets. Everything had your scent and the very thought that it was your bed and that you were sleeping there must have influenced his dreams.

Needless to say, after a couple of hours later he woke up with a huge problem in his now too tight boxer briefs. The dream he had was so vivid… The truth was he’d been dreaming of you numerous times but today it was more real than ever.

He was laying there, still a bit sleepy and drowsy from his nap. When he opened his eyes he could have sworn that he really had fucked you. He didn’t even know where he was…

After the initial confusion, everything slowly came back to his pretty head and he felt a frustrating disappointment the moment he finally realised it had been all just a wet dream.

One of too many…

K: No you didn’t just have sex with Y/N in the kitchen, get a hold of yourself, you idiot… It was just a fucking dream.

He reprimanded himself. The statement he had just uttered was so mentally agonising but he had to do this to bring himself back to harsh reality. The one in which he didn’t have sex with you in the kitchen after you had prepared a curry rice for him.

All he wanted was to close his eyes and go back to this vivid dream. But, unfortunately, even though he was trying very hard to fall asleep again there was this problematic issue that didn’t let him sleep anymore…

K: Gahhh...

He growled angrily in frustration. This poor boy was shifting nervously from one to the other side of the bed while replaying images of you and him fucking mindlessly on that kitchen counter. He got so hard it was beginning to be painful. Almost unbearable. If he had been in his own bed he would have jacked himself off as he usually did when he had these dreams with you.

It felt a bit not right to do that there, though… Right? 

At least, somewhere at the back of his head, he knew he really shouldn’t have. That it was inappropriate and just simply wrong. He was having this mental fight. Weighing arguments for and against.

K: Get your shit together. You won’t wank off in her bed!

He angrily switched position to lay on his stomach and put his arms under the pillows to prevent himself from doing any nasty things.

Turned out, that it was the worst possible decision ever…

He felt his large hands brushing against some silky material. It was so nice to touch that he fumbled it in between his fingers. Soon after, the curiosity won over him and he pulled out the fabric from under the pillows.

He examined the delicate material resting in his palms.

K: No… noooo…

He took a deep breath and squeezed your panties in his hand burying head into the sheets. It was the exact moment when it dawned on him that he had lost this unfair battle. He rolled over on his back again.

His free hand immediately in his boxers and he started jerking off.

Shamelessly.

No further doubts in his head anymore. It just felt too good to control himself and he had yearned for this too much to stop.

He was playing with your panties in one of his hands, while the other slowly worked his rock hard member. He even sniffed them trying to get to know how you would taste. He was still replaying the mental images from the dream in his head. He wanted to be in you so badly.

So badly that he took your panties and without much thinking wrapped his painful erection with them. He began pumping even harder and quicker.

The fabric created this nice sensation on his skin and a soft moan escaped his lips. He was breathing laboriously and he even cried out your name from time to time, imagining that he is indeed thrusting into you on that kitchen counter as it had been in his dream.

Your panties were completely soaked wet. He was leaking with precum and only moments shared him from this much-needed release. A couple of strokes with his skilful hand and long fingers.

But then, he heard a knock on the door.

Y: Kookie, are you up?

It was you. His heart almost stopped in his chest. He quickly covered himself with the blanket and answered in a shaky voice. So unlike him.

K: Yeaahhh… Kind of…

Is he out of breath? - you were thinking to yourself, getting a little worried about his condition.

Y: Are you unwell, Kooks?

K: No, I’m just fine, noona. Perfectly fine!

Let’s be honest. It didn’t sound too convincing so you slowly opened the door and entered the room. He was covered up with blankets up to his ears. 

So cute…Too cute…

Your thoughts once again drifting away in a wrong direction. You couldn’t help, but to smile at this big boy.

Y: Did you sleep well, sleepyhead?

He saw you were moving in the direction of the bed and was mentally panicking. He wanted to die for his stupidity and lack of any control over his hormones. Being caught by your love interest while jacking off in her bed? What a wonderful prospect! It surely would help in proving that he wasn’t a childish boy anymore. He was crying inside and scolding himself in his thoughts.

it was like a really shitty predicament that he found himself in… it became clear that you intended to sit beside him on the bed and soon after, there he was with a hard on and you sitting inches away from him. His face was so red you kept on nagging him with questions…

Y: Kookie, are you sure you’re alright?

You touched hid forehead with your hand.

Y: You seem feverish…

K: No, trust me! I’m ok, noona.

He really tried to play it cool. Too bad…

Y: Maybe it’s because of the wound? Lemme see it.

After saying that you took the sheets in your hand, wanting to uncover this poor, little, wounded boy… You were so worried!

K: NOOOOOO… NO!

He almost jumped on the bed desperately catching the sheets and clinging to them for his dear life which in all honesty got you even more worried about him. Maybe even annoyed? Was he playing a big man while actually, he was in real pain? Your face twisted at the thought.

Y: Oh, I knew it! You’re in pain! Why didn’t you tell us earlier?!

You kept on shouting louder and louder.

Y: Don’t try to act like some fucking badass! It’s not one of your stupid video games you brat!

Then you pulled the sheets with all of your force… and well…

You didn’t quite expect to see what you saw. First of all, Jeon Jungkook,, your childhood friend and now a subordinate had a fucking hard on. Second of all? It seemed as if your panties stood out from under his boxers.

Thirdly…

Y: Kooks, you’re huge!

You thought to yourself or maybe you wanted to but it turned out that you had just said it out loud.

Yes, it must have been the case judging from Jungkook’s reaction. His chocolate brown eyes went wide. He wanted to say something. He even opened his mouth in order to do so, but in the end, he didn’t utter a thing. At least, nothing coherent.

You were just staring at his length… Everything about this situation was oh so awkward. He felt so ashamed. He tried to read from your face what you were possibly thinking and sadly, he only had bad predictions

K: Baby girl, I’m so sorry… It just kind of… happened? I don’t know how… I mean…

And truth to be told all you were thinking then was how damn hot he looked. His body in full view. Rock hard thighs pressed together in a pathetic attempt to hide his throbbing member. He was so visibly scared of your reaction. His plump lips were left partially open in an ‘o’ shape. Eyes even bigger than ever.

You felt the sudden urge to touch him. He was just irresistible, You more or less knew what must have happened and you couldn’t really blame him… He’s so young… He had been in your bed and then he probably also found the panties.

You felt your core getting hot. The idea of Jungkook touching himself in your bed was simply too alluring… and so dirty.

Immediately, you decided to play along.

Y: Did you wank in my bed?

K: Noona, I’m so so…

Y: Answer the question, dammit!

You interrupted him not letting him utter his miserable apologies. He grabbed so hard on the sheets that it must have hurt him. He averted your gaze feeling so bad for himself, but then… he forgot how to breathe when he saw your hand approaching his boxers.

K: Noona?!

You took the string of your panties that was standing out from his boxers and you slowly pulled the string trying to take them out and unwrap his member.

And, oh fuck… You could only imagine how pleasurable it was for him observing how he threw his head back moaning in response. His body shivered feeling as the fabric was ticklishly moving around his shaft.

K: Baby girl…

Breathless plea leaving his deliciously enticing wet with saliva lips.

Y: Did you think about some other girls when you were jerking off?

Your voice as cold as it was only possible. He frowned at the accusation. He wanted to respond but you caught him short when you put a hand on his hard member caressing him through the boxers.

K: Ahhhh…

He inhaled sharply and due to the pleasurable sensation that unexpectedly crept over his body, he forgot what he was about to say. His mind completely blank focusing only on your ministrations. Hips already rocking in rhythm with you palm. His orgasm was quickly building up all over again. You were rubbing his cock in circles never really fully taking him into your hand, but applying enough pressure for him to forget his name.

Y: Answer the fucking question, you brat!

You ran up with your hand so high that it must have hurt him now. He squeaked and his hands involuntarily trying to hold you closer to his chest so as to hug you, He truly wanted to answer back, but it was all very hard because of your touch.

K: Noona, I’d never…Believe me, please!

His answer delivered in between desperate moans and harsh grunts coming out of his throat.

Y: So, what did you think about? Eh?!

K: About you!

He blurted out truthfully. His head collapsing in the crook of your neck.

Y: Like I’d believe you, you dirty, little liar!

He was so turned on that he was bending down, trying to look for your lips. His hip thrusts even more erratic now. It wasn’t going to last much longer. Despite feeling like in fucking heaven he was so flustered that you didn’t want to believe him. He quickly spat out, without much thinking. His voice cracking all the time.

K: I was dreaming about fucking you on that damned kitchen counter!

Words quickly came out of his mouth. His laborious breathing was a true music to your ears.

A way to get a confession out of a guy. Indeed. But, he sounded so sexy you felt a sudden wave of pleasure in your stomach and you felt that it was too much to tease him so you cooed…

Y: Baby, please tell me more. 

His spirits got up after hearing that familiar nickname. You went on.

Y: Did you fuck me well?

Being obviously turned on as well at this point, you couldn’t keep it in anymore. Your words were like magic. He started eagerly nodding his head. Overexcited and happy that you finally believed him.

K: Baby you were moaning so hard for me, I swear…

Y: Was I?

K: Oh, yes, yes. You did! You even screamed my name over and over again.

All the time you kept massaging his dick and, not surprisingly, being the little kinky shit that he was, your dirty talk threw him over the edge. Before climaxing he once again nuzzled his head into your neck as if embarrassed and came hard into his boxers.

Frankly, you hadn’t even palmed him properly but he came anyway. You chuckled a little when you realised that. He hugged you so tightly afraid of letting go. You hugged him back, fondly massaging his back and helping him to calm down. When he was more or less alright he put your foreheads together and looked deeply into your eyes, still a bit embarrassed. He bit his lip. The usual habit when he got nervous and then he kissed you. Deeply. With such passion, you could feel his affection towards you. He was so needy and wanted you so badly words could not express how he felt then…

Out of a sudden, you heard Yoongi screaming as if there was some kind of an emergency or what not…

S: Y/N… where are you?! I came to hang that fucking painting for you!

Judging from his voice he must have been getting closer and closer to your room. You didn’t want to let one of your most mean assistants know that you had just jerked off Jungkook, so you quickly leaped to your feet leaving him with puppy eyes.

Y: Sure, coming!

Just before leaving the room you gave Jungkook a quick peck on his forehead and he flashed that gummy smile of his that had always made your stomach feel disturbingly warm.

Originally posted by bangtan-so-far


And this is how Jeon Jungkook got his very first and definitely not the last orgasm from you. 

"The Picture of Dorian Gray" sentence starters
  • There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
  • The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world.
  • We shall all suffer for what the gods have given us, suffer terribly.
  • I have grown to love secrecy.
  • Your cynicism is simply a pose.
  • You know we poor artists have to show ourselves in society from time to time, just to remind the public that we are not savages.
  • Conscience and cowardice are really the same things.
  • I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.
  • A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
  • Is that very vain of me? I think it is rather vain.
  • None of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves.
  • I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
  • There is nothing that art cannot express.
  • The harmony of soul and body—how much that is! We in our madness have separated the two, and have invented a realism that is vulgar, an ideality that is void.
  • My heart shall never be put under their microscope.
  • It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue.
  • I feel that I have given away my whole soul to someone who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s day.”
  • In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have something that endures, and so we fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our place.
  • Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love’s tragedies.
  • People are afraid of themselves, nowadays.
  • Courage has gone out of our race. Perhaps we never really had it.
  • Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in the mind and poisons us.
  • The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. 
  • Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.
  • You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.
  • Wherever you go, you charm the world. Will it always be so?
  • Time is jealous of you, and wars against your lilies and your roses.
  • Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the courage to yield to.
  • You like your art better than your friends.
  • I am jealous of everything whose beauty does not die.
  • Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.
  • Credit is the capital of a younger son, and one lives charmingly upon it.
  • Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.
  • The way of paradoxes is the way of truth.
  • I can sympathize with everything except suffering.
  • Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the caveman had known how to laugh, history would have been different.
  • Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes.
  • You are quite delightful and dreadfully demoralizing.
  • I am always late on principle, the principle being that punctuality is the thief of time.
  • I adore it, but I am afraid of it. It makes me too romantic.
  • Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
  • Passion is the privilege of people who have nothing to do.
  • If I ever did a crime, I would come and confess it to you. You would understand me.
  • When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.
  • There is always something infinitely mean about other people’s tragedies.
  • I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain.
  • People are very fond of giving away what they need most themselves. It is what I call the depth of generosity.
  • The only artists I have ever known who are personally delightful are bad artists.
  • It often happens that when we think we were experimenting on others we are really experimenting on ourselves.
  • Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.
  • To be in love is to surpass one’s self.
  • Poor? What does that matter? When poverty creeps in at the door, love flies in through the window.
  • Our proverbs want rewriting. They were made in winter, and it is summer now; springtime for me, I think, a very dance of blossoms in blue skies.
  • I shudder at the thought of being free.
  • I know you would never harm anyone I love, would you?
  • Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.
  • Of course, it is sudden—all really delightful things are.
  • The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
  • Unselfish people are colourless. They lack individuality.
  • You are much better than you pretend to be.
  • I cannot understand how anyone can wish to shame the thing he loves.
  • When we are happy, we are always good, but when we are good, we are not always happy.
  • The real tragedy of the poor is that they can afford nothing but self-denial. Beautiful sins, like beautiful things, are the privilege of the rich.
  • Being adored is a nuisance.
  • You are dreadful! I don’t know why I like you so much.
  • You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.
  • Love is a more wonderful thing than art.
  • There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating—people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
  • The secret of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is unbecoming.
  • I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought them real.
  • You taught me what reality really is.
  • You used to stir my imagination. Now you don’t even stir my curiosity.
  • I have grown sick of shadows.
  • You don’t know what you were to me, once. 
  • You have spoiled the romance of my life.
  • Without your art, you are nothing.
  • There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.
  • There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us.
  • I can’t bear the idea of my soul being hideous.
  • You cut life to pieces with your epigrams.
  • Things like that make a man fashionable in Paris. But in London people are so prejudiced.
  • One should never make one’s début with a scandal. One should reserve that to give an interest to one’s old age.
  • How extraordinarily dramatic life is!
  • I don’t think I am heartless. Do you?
  • The moment she touched actual life, she marred it, and it marred her.
  • Life has everything in store for you,
  • We live in an age that reads too much to be wise, and that thinks too much to be beautiful.
  • If one doesn’t talk about a thing, it has never happened. It is simply expression that gives reality to things.
  • You must not tell me about things. What is done is done. What is past is past.
  • I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.
  • You talk as if you had no heart, no pity in you.
  • if I told you, you might like me less than you do, and you would certainly laugh at me. I could not bear your doing either of those two things.
  • Your friendship is dearer to me than any fame or reputation.
  • You became to me the visible incarnation of that unseen ideal whose memory haunts us artists like an exquisite dream.
  • Whatever I have done that is good, I owe to you.
  • There is something fatal about a portrait. It has a life of its own.
  • Perhaps one should never put one’s worship into words.
  • There seems to be something tragic in a friendship so colored by romance.
  • It has a corruption of its own, worse than the corruption of death itself—something that would breed horrors and yet would never die.
  • The past can always be annihilated.
  • How exquisite life had once been! How gorgeous in its pomp and decoration! Even to read of the luxury of the dead was wonderful.
  • Is insincerity such a terrible thing? I think not. It is merely a method by which we can multiply our personalities.
  • I am tired of myself tonight. I should like to be somebody else.
  • I love scandals about other people, but scandals about myself don’t interest me. They have not got the charm of novelty.
  • You don’t want people to talk of you as something vile and degraded.
  • You must not say things like that. They are horrible, and they don’t mean anything.
  • You have had more to do with my life than you think.
  • Each of us has heaven and hell in him.
  • Youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms.
  • Keep your horrible secrets to yourself. They don’t interest me any more.
  • What is it to me what devil’s work you are up to?
  • I wish you had a thousandth part of the pity for me that I have for you.
  • The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes.
  • I am not at all surprised that the world says that you are extremely wicked.
  • It is perfectly monstrous, the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one’s back that are absolutely and entirely true.
  • Nowadays all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men.
  • Everybody I know says you are very wicked.
  • I like men who have a future and women who have a past.
  • Moderation is a fatal thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a feast.
  • He atones for being occasionally somewhat overdressed by being always absolutely overeducated. He is a very modern type.
  • What do you want? Money? Here it is. Don’t ever talk to me again.
  • Each man lives his own life and pays his own price for living it.
  • The man who could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for.
  • I think that it is better to be beautiful than to be good. But on the other hand, no one is more ready than I am to acknowledge that it is better to be good than to be ugly.
  • To be popular one must be a mediocrity.
  • We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.
  • I wish I could love, but I seem to have lost the passion and forgotten the desire.
  • My own personality has become a burden to me.
  • Death is the only thing that ever terrifies me. ❞
  • The world has always worshipped you. It always will worship you.
  • Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.
  • The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame. That is all.
  • The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.
Crazy In Love

Originally posted by alex-norma

pairings: stiles x reader; lydia x reader.

warnings: fingering, masturbation (female and male receiving), oral sex (female and male receiving), sex, cursing, slightly daddy kink and mostly NSFW +18. if you’re under eighteen, don’t tell your parents.

a/n: well, this was a first, so I truly hope y'all enjoy it!

word count: 5,2k+


Your name: submit What is this?

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Ten minutes - Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Title: Ten minutes

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Imagine being a famour actress and attending the premiere of “IT” with your boyfriend, Bill, even if your relationship is a secret and you pretend to be just friends. The kids love you all very much, since you’ve known them ever since they started filming, and they love nothing more than to tease Bill about your relationship and embarrass him in front of everybody.

A/N: (Y/s/n) = Your superhero name, this is so full of fluff and cute moments! I seriously love all those kids so much and them teasing Bill is what I live for!

“Are you nervous?” you whispered in his ear and his head immediately snapped from the window he was looking to you.

“Nervous?” he chuckled “No, why would you-” he didn’t even get to finish his sentence as he followed your gaze and he too looked down to see you had noticed he had been moving his foot up and down non stop.

“Right.” he breathed out a laugh as he nodded his head “I see why.”

You only smiled gently, cupping his cheek with your other hand that wasn’t holding his and made him look at you “Don’t.” you whispered, looking deeply in his eyes “You have no reason to, baby. You were amazing, you worked so hard for this and the whole world will get to see it. Starting with today, I am sure everybody will love the movie and your work. I am absolutely sure about it, I was there through it all remember? I saw all the effort you put into it, now it’s time you enjoyeit. And so will everybody else. You’ll see, I am always right.” you winked at him and a grin broke on his face.

“Yes, yes you are.” he breathed out, resting his forehead against yours “I just still feel like I can’t help it. I never expected to be here, I always just dreamed about it, and now here we are.” he locked fingers with yours and you closed your eyes for a moment.

“You made it here, Bill. Through dedication, effort and all the passion you have and put into it, you have actually made it here. You worked your way to this, just enjoy it baby. For yourself above all.”

“I wouldn’t have done anything if it wasn’t for you.” he whispered, his lips brushing past yours as he spoke and you had to keep yourself from getting lost in his eyes.

“Not really.” you whispered, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Yes really. And don’t fight me on this, I could keep going on forever.” he chuckled and you grinned, squeezing his hand “And I have my ways of convincing you and you know it.”

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anonymous asked:

Haaaaiiiii! I was wondering if I could request the RFA's reactions to an MC who wants to wait to do the frick frack until marriage? I love your blog, btw!

Thanks nonnie ^^ Somethin’ simple while I stir up some other trouble… Honhonhon.

Request Killing: 9/30


Yoosung Kim

  • Completely understands your decision
  • He’d grown up with the ideal drilled into him by his mother that he shouldn’t have sex until he had married, and we all know he greatly respects his mother…
  • Accepts with a smile, unfazed by the fact that you want to wait
  • “I mean, I want both of us to be ready for our first time together. I’ve n-never been with anyone either, so I get how special it is,” he tells you
  • Never crosses the line when touching you
  • Short kisses, teasing touches but never venturing further
  • Always careful to control himself
  • He genuinely respects you and anticipates graduating from college so he can settle down with you quicker

Zen

  • Blushes a bit when you first tell him
  • Quick to tell you he’ll wait, though. He knows you’re not completely ready to settle down yet, either.
  • “You won’t get bored of me?” you asked doubtfully. He had been with his share of women, after all. And he’s constantly surrounded by beauties due to his career. What if he grew too sexually frustrated and decided you weren’t good enough? That he could find someone better?
  • He takes your hand as he holds your gaze. “Jagi, I didn’t fall in love with you because of your looks, and I’m not dating you for sex. I love you and if you’re not ready, no matter what the reason is, then I won’t do anything. You’re worth the wait.”
  • Does have trouble holding back ‘the Beast’ sometimes, though.
  • You tease him so often without even realizing it.
  • Whenever you fall asleep in one of his shirts… or you look up at him with wide eyes while you’re in his arms… So many instances…
  • When you do finally marry him, well, be prepared for him to unleash years of sexual frustration and desires onto you. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jaehee

  • When you mentioned wanting a ‘serious conversation’ with her, this wasn’t what she had imagined
  • Fails to hold back a smile at your words
  • “Silly,” she’d say gently, her gaze soft as she stared into your eyes with sincerity. “Of course I didn’t mind. I know you’d do the same if I was the one asking.”
  • Takes you into her arms, giving a reassuring hug
  • When she pulls away, she flashes a mischievous grin at you
  • “Besides, who said I’d have to wait long? We’re already living together… and we run the café together… Marriage is the next step, MC~”
  • Winks at you teasingly after saying that

Jumin

  • Nods slowly as you confess this desire to him
  • “It’s nothing to worry about, MC. I do not think it is uncommon for women to want to wait for marriage before giving themselves completely to their loved one,” he answers calmly. “I don’t see a problem with it.”
  • You were relieved that he was accepting, but…
  • “How will you survive until then?” you ask curiously. “I’ve never been with a man but I’ve heard men tend to be hor—I mean, err, sexually frustrated often… “
  • (His formal speech made you feel awkward speaking casually to him sometimes….)
  • Jumin chuckles, staring lovingly at you with amusement in his eyes.
  • “There are more ways to please someone than through sexual intercourse, my love,” he murmurs lowly, running a finger under the side of your chin

Seven

  • Tilts his head after listening to you reveal you want to wait until marriage for sexual activities
  • Pelts you with questions
  • “So, to confirm, you’re saying I can’t claim you until we’re married?”
  • Nod
  • “I’ll have to stop myself from having my way with you, every time, even if I really, really, reaaaally want you?” he pouts
  • Nod
  • “Weeell~ If you don’t want to, then I won’t force you, of course. But I’m sure you’ll be begging to marry me in no time!”
  • He flips his short red hair back as he flashes an attempt of a seductive pose at you
  • “I mean, who could resist this (gestures to himself) after all?”
  • Despite his joking manner when initially talking about it, he acted seriously on staying within the set boundaries

V

  • Respects your choice, but asks for the reason
  • “Is there any particular reason why you want to wait?” He’s just curious, really
  • But when you don’t answer immediately, he shakes his head to dismiss the question
  • Wraps his arms around your waist and tells you he loves you
  • “We have the rest of our lives for you to tell me something small like that. I don’t need to hear it right now,” he whispers in your ear.
  • His words surprise you. Was he already making an indirect proposal?
  • He chuckles. “Isn’t that why you told me in the first place? If you didn’t love me enough, you wouldn’t have brought it up to me. Then, naturally, I can only propose to my princess, right?”
Grind Till I Own It || Mafia!Jungkook x Reader [M] Pt. 2


Summary : Jeon Jungkook is the son of the famous mafia gang TBB (The Black Base) and is a filthy rich man that gets whatever his finger points at - that includes even you.

Rated [M] for eventual smut/angst

“We’re here, princess”

A soft voice traveled up to you ears, you couldn’t quite make up if you were laying on a pillow or a bed but this was extremely comfortable and you refused to wake up. That was, until you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your body and the wind hit your face making you snap your eyes open.

You gasped.

In front of you was a huge mansion with windows as big as your own little apartment. It looked like a palace to you, and the garden was so mesmerizing you couldn’t take your eyes off of the roses that bloomed in different shades of red. The grass looked as green as ever even though it was in the middle of the night. This whole thing felt like a dream to you.

But then you remembered.

Jungkook.

You glanced up and there he was, holding you close to his chest. You could hear his heart pounding in his chest and somehow, just somehow that made you feel incredibly calm. Without saying anything, you tilted your head back and closed your eyes again.

“Ah! Sir, should I inform the supreme leader about-”.

“No. There’s no need for that, instead. How about escorting her to my room” Jungkook’s voice was nothing like before, it didn’t match his calm heart - in fact, he sounded stressed out. You wanted to ask why, but you also knew that maybe giving him some space was the best choice.

“Will do Sir!” Jimin saluted him, and that’s when you decided to open your eyes.

“Where are you going?”.

You mentally scolded yourself for asking Jungkook that when it looked like talking was something he’d rather avoid at the moment. He simply said work and left just like that. No goodbye and definitely no see you later.

You knitted your eyebrows together, a bit offended at how he was the one who brought you here and then left as if you weren’t even here. Whatever You huffed, arms crossed above your chest, anger taking over your features.

“Here” Jimin offered his small hand to you and you looked down at it, struggling to hold in your laughter at how tiny his hand was compared to yours.

“Are you expecting me to hold your hand?” You asked, head tilting to the side. He paused and you took this moment to study Jimin’s adorable face. “What if I break it?”.

Jimin looked taken aback, his already big eyes went even bigger and his mouth was in the shape of an ‘o’. You also noticed how his cheeks were dusted with a fair pink, almost as pink as his lips.

“My hand is not that small!” He groaned, placing his hand on his forehead as if he just got the biggest headache of his life. “God, you sound just like Taehyung” Jimin let out an irritated sigh accompanied by a pout.

“Taehyung?” Your eyes flashed with curiosity.

Jimin motioned you to follow him so you did and when you stepped inside the mansion you had to rub your eyes, because this didn’t feel real at all. Everything looked so beautiful you were afraid to walk on the stairs, your silly self thought that you’d make them dirty - or even ruin them.

“Mmh, Taehyung” Jimin started, walking up the stairs that were probably made out of gold - you could see your own reflection in them.

“Taehyung is the one that locates all the thieves. As soon as someone steps foot in here he’ll get a signal up to his office, then he simply informs the supreme leader and yeah” Jimin shrugged, fishing up a shiny yellow key from his suit pocket.

“Did he get a signal just now?” You asked, arms swaying gently side to side. Jimin didn’t say anything, he simply smiled and he was looking at you but not quite you, it was more like looking behind your shoulder.

You spun around and saw a man with chestnut colored hair jogging up to where you two were standing, he was so handsome it was almost as if he was artificial.

“Damn it Jimin! You should tell me when boss’s girls come here! I gave up my damn chocolate milk for this! Do you know how important that is to me?” Taehyung who looked awfully sad yet undeniably cute had a cup of - what you’d assume was chocolate milk - in his rather large hands.

Is everyone here a model or something?! You thought once you took in all of Taehyung, a God in his own ways.

Jimin looked serious, until his eyes traveled down to Taehyung’s black pants.

And it was then.

It was then that your ears officially gave up on hearing the oh, so beautiful sounds in the world after a loud - what you could only describe as a shriek - completely destroyed your sense of hearing.

Jimin was laughing his lungs out and both you and Taehyung looked confusingly at each other. You looked to where Jimin was looking before and oh my god.

Taehyung who looked as if he was a lost puppy had a stain on his pants which, of course, made it look like someone had scared the living shit out of the man and sure it was hilarious but.

Seriously?.

“what the..” Taehyung’s eyebrows were crushed together and he carefully looked down and immediately up again, connecting eyes with Jimin. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Do you think she saw it…?”.

“Who?” You asked, inviting yourself to the conversation - or should you say, love affair.

Taehyung looked embarrassed for a minute, but then he gazed to his right in a dreamy state and battered his surprisingly long eyelashes.

“Sujin noona..” He said, smiling an incredibly wide smile which almost looked impossible - cute but scary.

“Ah, get your love bullshit out of here Taehyung. Oh, right, Y/N” Jimin turned around and twisted the doorknob, revealing your room. He chuckled when he heard you audibly gasp behind him and you stepped inside, mouth wide open in astonishment.

“Am I dreaming? Am I? Holy shit!” You couldn’t be more amazed than you already were.

You’ve been living with Seulbi for quite awhile in a stuffy apartment and going from a mattress to a king sized bed is a huge fucking upgrade. This room had everything you needed and even a little more, the fact that you are going to stay the night here is an honour.

You turned around, your mouth open and Jimin who was leaning against the wall with a huge smirk on his face looked quite pleased at what he has shown you so far.

“Like it? Boss has pretty good taste in things. He might act like an asshole sometimes, but trust me - he has a heart of gold” Jimin said while walking towards you, grabbing your hand and placing the key on your palm. “Well then, goodnight”.

And just like that, Jimin with the following voice of Taehyung repeatedly saying ‘did she see that’ faded away and you were left alone in the room.

“Ah fuck, where’s Jungkook? And why did he leave me? This makes no sense” You sat down on the enormous bed, only to lay down and stare at the ceiling. “Work isn’t a good answer..” You turned over to the lamp and switched it off, your vision slowly taken away by sleep and you were drifting off.



You didn’t realize that sleep had taken over your body. Every emotion of last night had left your mind and you were to be filled with new ones today.

“Shit, my head” You groaned, holding your head as if it was gonna fall.

The poisonous side effect of getting ‘fucked up’ wasn’t as pleasing the next day. But who the hell gives a shit? You’re literally waking up in a king sized bed! You shouldn’t complain right?.

“So you have risen I see”.

A quite familiar voice said, you followed it and there he stood. God himself.

Jungkook had his arms crossed and was leaning just like how Jimin did. They’re quite similar in a way, although you cannot pinpoint how - they just gave off the same vibe.

“Yes I, uh, have” You giggled, the sound of your heartbeat getting louder as Jungkook began to walk towards you, looking as if he just had taken a shower in gold. Even in the morning when you were supposed to be in a shitty mood and - look like shit - Jungkook looked like the opposite of all that.

“And just like the sun” He gently yanked you out of bed, only to have you spin once before your noses brushed together “You are beautiful”.

As if your cheeks had an on and off button, they quickly bloomed into a few shades of pink and red. Jungkook’s compliments had yet again won over your heart and you were so incredibly scared that he might hear the hammering of your heartbeat.

“W-What are you talking about? I look like shit, it’s morning and I want nothing more than to just vanish” You glanced down while tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, the compliment made your lips curve into a bashful smile.

“Vanish? Why would you say something like that?” Jungkook made you look into his eyes by gently grabbing your chin, clearly dissatisfied with your saying.

He shook his head.

“Don’t ever say things like that, okay? Just like the refreshing air in the outside world, I need you” Jungkook pulled you into a tight embrace, twirling the both of you. “Stay with me”.

Jungkook was a strange being. He was confusing most of the time and it made no sense when he suddenly got furious out of nothing, could it be that he’s confused about his feelings?. You wanted to know more about Jungkook. You wanted to know what this ‘work’ really was, although you have a slight idea of what it could be.

He is in a mafia gang after all.

A knock on the door made the two of you break apart. You wanted to guess it was Jimin but this knock sounded harder, almost angry.

Jungkook swung the door open, eyebrows drawn together and a frown had taken over his once smiling lips. “Namjoon?”.

The man named Namjoon had a black suit on. His hair was dirty blonde, and it looked messy yet a touch of delicacy was clearly seen. He was very handsome and your heart rate sped up when his serious eyes met your confused ones.

Namjoon inhaled, and then exhaled. Something Jungkook hated because he knew that it meant either something bad happened or something really bad happened - and judging by how Namjoon’s expression indicated stress he knew that it was the second one.

“It seems like your father has a heart disease. We sent him to the local hospital and they informed us that he only has two months left, my condolences boss, it looks as if your father won’t make it”.

Jungkook was holding your hand, and it was as if someone had stuffed him in a refrigerator from all the shaking he was making. He was silent, the only sound that could be heard was the ragged breathing from Jungkook. You glanced over to scan his face, and you wished you hadn’t done that.

His eyebrows that were together before were curving upwards and his bottom lip quivered. Jungkook’s hands and soon his whole self was trembling with nothing but pure shock, sadness and fury.

“Why…Why did father hide this from me”.

Namjoon paused, not sure if he should say more. But he straightened his back and cleared his throat. “I believe it’s because he wanted to refrain from stressing you out - since you are wanted”.

Wanted? You thought, a tingling sensation mingled with anger melted in the pit of your stomach. You somehow felt betrayed, even though this was of no surprise to you.

“Jungkook” You called his name, the way you said his name made him shiver. “You’re wanted? Is this really true?”.

Jungkook didn’t know how to respond. It was as if his ability to speak had disappeared and he felt paralyzed as well, to make it even worse - you had to witness the ugly side of his family which he hoped would never happen.

“I’m sorry Y/N” Jungkook whispered before rushing out of the door, abandoning your hand that was once intertwined with his warm fingers alone in the air.

There you stood, with your dress that suffocated you and your female curves. You looked at Namjoon who was about to leave, but before he could turn on his heel you grabbed his arm.

“Namjoon? Could you take me to Jimin? Please”

And he nodded, mumbling a ‘follow me’ before walking out of the bedroom. The walk with Namjoon was quiet, you assumed he was the serious type so you behaved - not wanting to cause any trouble.

Finally the orange haired man came into sight and you couldn’t help but sigh in relief and comfort when he stretched out his arms for you, and of course, you immediately jumped into his embrace.

“Don’t cry..” Jimin cooed, stroking your hair gently. “Crying doesn’t help a thing. It’s a waste of time and I don’t think you want that, do you?”.

You didn’t how, or why you were crying like this. Maybe you reached your limit? Maybe it was too much for you to handle and you somehow had to let it out?. You didn’t know what you were gonna do when Jungkook would return - if he will that is.



After having tea and toast with Jimin, he decided to take you out for awhile and Taehyung came along later on when his break started. You learnt a lot about the two and they were honestly really sweet even though they worked for someone who wasn’t as sweet as them.

“And that’s the story of how my hand got glued together with the frying pan” Taehyung said, nodding his head in agreement, clearly agreeing with himself because neither you or Jimin could digest what he just said, or even relate to his story at all.

Jimin shook his head. “Anyways, Y/N. I apologize but it seems like we have to leave, I just got a signal from boss that he’s in danger” The serious tone Jimin was using made you shiver, usually he didn’t talk like this. “Will you be fine on your own?”.

You smirked, arms crossed above your chest and you straightened your back. “I’ll be more than fine, besides I have to learn my way home too so this is a good thing”.

Jimin and Taehyung nodded and stood up, each grabbing a metal black walkie talkie from their pockets. You couldn’t help but softly laugh at how serious they looked, it was amazing how specifically Taehyung could go from the guy who got his hand glued together with a frying pan to Mr. Serious.

The familiar ringtone of your phone rang, startling you from the high volume it was on. You fished it up and pressed the green button and raised the device up to your ear. “Y/N speaking”.

“Y/N”.

You froze.

The delicate voice of a man who had snatched your heart in only one night was calling your name in a way in which you couldn’t describe but monotonous. A mixture of miserableness and hopeless mingled in his voice, creating a sad aura around you and the people surrounding you.

“Jungkook…? Are you okay? What happened?”.

You couldn’t help but panic. Your heart was sinking down with each breath the other person took and it pained you so. He sounded lifeless, dull - completely gone and the way he paused made you even more worried. “Jungkook?”.

“Y/N, my father died. I need you. I need you right now”.

“Jungkook I-” Before your next words could even roll off your tongue he hung up on you without saying anything. You stood there, staring at your phone with wide eyes not knowing what the hell you should do next. It took awhile for you to figure out what Jungkook meant by ‘I need you’ but then it hit you.

Jungkook wants to have sex with you.

“B-But..His father just-” You stressfully exhaled, walking forwards with quick steps as if someone was following you from behind. Your cheeks flushed with the thought of Jungkook’s hands roaming your body and yes - you wanted him too but something didn’t sound right.

You didn’t want to have sex with him right now. This was just to conceal his feelings and pitiful sex is not on your to-do list. You loved Jungkook very much but this was just not the right thing to do, besides, once he gets over his father’s death he’ll simply forget about you and your existence.

Everything about you will become history.

Sf9 When Your Insecure.

Inseong: he knows he’s a greasy boyfriend who doesn’t take many things seriously but he still tries and you know he’s trying, especially when you’re having a hard time being comfortable with your own body. “You’re so freaking sexy, just know that.”

Originally posted by clickedyourheart

Youngbin: Skinship increases by 100. Touches you in all the places you ‘hate’. “Man, I cant believe you are mine. I’m the luckiest man alive.” 

You: Don’t touch that part…

Him: Why? I love touching you here. 

Originally posted by maknaesnoonax

Rowoon: Yanno this boy gonna treat you like a queen. He will make sure you arn’t skipping meals, and even doing the most where he will come to your work/school just to bring you your meal that you purposely left at home. Everyone at work/school looks at him with shock and whispers just like in a kdrama when he walks by.

Runs to you before you left to go inside the campus/building, still wearing his apron and slippers like “My Queen. You forgot your lunch.”

Originally posted by softchanhee

Taeyang: tells everyone how beautiful you are. Holds your hand and isn’t afraid to walk around holding you from behind in public even when people are taking pictures. When people ask about you, he will proudly say your his.

Interviewer: I see your gf came on set to support you.

Him: Yes. She’s right there behind the camera, in the back. The love of my life. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met but she doesn’t know how much I love her.”

Originally posted by reowoon

Dawon: Another dork of a boyfriend who tries hard when it comes to serious topics like this. Of course he knows when to not act silly, and instead shows you affection but he can’t help sometimes to straight up hit on you to boost your self confidence.

Him: (sees you coming but still calls to you in front of everyone and their dog) HEY GODDESS! OVER HERE! (embarrasses you but oh well).

Originally posted by hwiyoungs

Jaeyoon: Tries to get to the root of your insecurity. If it was someone who made you insecure, he will personally himself, out of his precious day to come for them. “You said you’re better looking than my girlfriend, but sweetheart don’t flatter yourself too much.” honestly when its just you and him, he will make sure you won’t have any of those bad thoughts. You can just tell how happy you make him when your hanging out together, he’s going to be smiling the whole time. (Probably won’t tell you that he went dragging that person who made you feel bad a few hours ago).

Originally posted by chanhee

Zuho: Shows you how beautiful you are. Occasionally comes in your room when your undressed since you two are in a comfortable relationship, and compliment you. “Mannn who is this fine lady I see right here?”

You: zuho get out.

Him: Oh, but I want to get inside ;).

Originally posted by jinglebelltyang

Hwiyoung: Poor baby doesn’t know what to do. Probably gets sad with you. Can’t focus on practice with his members when your not there. Can’t function because he’s so worried.

Rowoon: Stop worrying, she’ll be fine.

Originally posted by sf9creators

Chani: This little squish ball doesn’t know much about being romantic but he will do everything in his capability to cheer you up whether it’s cute dates or making stuff together and handmade gifts and cards for you that has a cute message like “To my cutie patootie with the nice boot..smile!” 

 “Im making a heart for you!!! Wait a moment!-, wait where did it go..” 

Originally posted by chanhee

You’re My Favorite

In honor of H’s 23 birthday, enjoy this little one shot! :) 

Plot: What to get to the man who has everything?

Warnings: None. 

Three weeks to H’s Birthday:

“Baby,” Harry groaned exasperation. His eyes rolled back and he let his head drop for a moment, appearing to be completely and utterly done with the subject I had been bugging him with for a few hours now as well as over the past days.

Harry’s birthday present.

And still, he was being close to no help. His eyes met mine and I whined, wanting him to take me seriously, because even though we (admittedly) had been discussing this topic a bit too long now, he somehow still didn’t understand my point.
Birthdays were something I took very seriously, especially Harry’s. It was the first time for me to celebrate his birthday with him given that our relationship was only a few months old and all I wanted was him to be showered with love and spoiled silly. I wanted to make him happy.
Planning his day wasn’t the problem, it was easy. I would spend the night before with him, mainly so I could make sure him being spoiled would start early in the morning already (breakfast in bed, maybe some sex) but most of all I wanted to stay with him because I knew how Harry didn’t like having to sleep and wake up alone. It made my heart ache a little bit and fall even more in love with his sensitive and gentle soul and so I liked the idea of him not having to do that on his birthday, too.
Later, we would have lunch with his mother, sister and step-father so we would be able to exchange gifts quietly and just in the presence of his immediate family. Harry absolutely adored them and I knew he’d love being able to be with just his family for a while, before his friends would join us for a dinner at his favorite restaurant. It was a simple plan and wouldn’t entail too many surprises for him, but I knew that would be what Harry enjoyed most. All of his life was always extravagant and a big deal, so I imagined him having simple family time would be just what he’d need.
What had been giving me a headache for a while now was the most difficult question I’d ever had to ask myself. What makes a good present to a person who could buy the world?

“You are so difficult sometimes,” I argued quietly, nudging Harry’s hip with my own.

We were standing in my tiny kitchen and cooking dinner together, well, less cooking and more arguing about his upcoming birthday. The pans were still empty and the table wasn’t set either. Three weeks. I had three weeks left to get him the perfect present and I was absolutely clueless.

Harry laughed. “Says the one who’s been worrying herself silly over a present for a birthday who’s almost a month away.”  

I rolled my eyes. “Maybe I just shouldn’t get you anything then. If I’m just being silly.”

My body turned and I went to reach for two wine glasses, almost dropping them when Harry startled me by wrapping both of his arms around my waist. His chest hit my back and I squealed when his head buried itself into my neck, releasing puffs of hot breath, making me squeal.

“You wouldn’t do that,” he murmured quietly, sounding like a little boy who’d been denied… well, his birthday present.

“Oh wouldn’t I, Styles?” I giggled, squeezing his wrists through the thick material of his grey jumper.

He shook his head, lips ghosting over my skin and I relaxed into him. “Don’t think you would.”

And of course I wouldn’t. But I really was lost. In my imagination, I could see his face lighting up with that beautiful smile of his and his pretty eyes would sparkle in surprise and happiness. I wanted that image to be reality, had seen him wear the expression on other occasions before and I wanted to be the reason why he wore it on his birthday. And the one bloody thing needed for that to happen was missing. An idea.

Two weeks to H’s Birthday:

In my desperate situation I’d called up the only person I could think of, who knew Harry better than anybody else did. His mother. Anne and I were sat in a small cafe just around the corner of where Harry lived. I held my mug of hot chocolate tightly and listened eagerly to the stories Anne had to tell, all of them involving a much younger version of Harry. Anne waved her hands in the air, mimicking Harry’s desperate attempt of rollerblading and I laughed out loud.

“He sounds like he was an incredibly clumsy child,” I giggled.

“Oh he was,” Anne smiled with a nod, “Still is, really. You’ve seen how he used to stumble around on stage. Even broke his foot once, the silly boy.”

“Oh right, I forgot about that!”

Anne chuckled and kindly offered me some of her cookie, which I happily accepted.

“So,” she began, handing me a piece of her desert, “I’m sure there’s a other reason behind you summoning me, other then hearing stories you can mock my son with later.”

I laughed gently and nodded. “Though, I could listed to those stories all day, I did call because I have a problem I was hoping you could help me with.”

A small frown took over Anne’s kind features and she set down her cup. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing too serious,” I quickly assured, not wanting her to worry, “It’s going to sound silly to you, I’m sure. But I just can’t come up with a good idea for a gift for Harry.”

My eyes met hers and I sensed that she was about to ask if I was kidding, because of course it sounded stupid to anyone else, and so I carried on quickly.

“His birthday, is coming closer and closer and I can’t figure out what to get him! That man has everything and if he doesn’t, then he buys it the next day. And even when I finally find something he hasn’t seen before but would love, it costs so much more than what I have! It’s so frustrating ‘cause all I want is to make him happy and surprise him with something nice but I can’t even get him something as simple as clothing! He came around with a cardigan just yesterday that cost £5000! I don’t even own anything that expensive! That piece of clothing he loves, is worth two months of my rent.”

Anne bit her lower lip, her expression serious again and I sighed. I felt so whiny and like an uncreative child, but I really was at my wit’s end.

“It’s the first birthday I get to spend with him and I’m going to fail him completely.”

My eyes lowered to my mug and I tapped the porcelain lightly, feeling defeated.

“Sweetheart,” Anne said kindly, “Harry will love whatever it is you get him. He adores you.”

A small smiled tugged at my lips and I blushed at her words. “I don’t want him to like it simply 'cause it’s from me, though.”

I raised the cup of chocolate to my lips and took a sip, then decided to just come clean with my greatest worry.

“The women he’s been with before me,” I began quietly, avoiding Anne’s patient gaze, “were rich enough to get him the world. What if he realizes that I’m just not… I don’t know. Suitable for his standards?”

The worry sounded stupid when it’d come to my mind the first time, but it’d stayed. Kendall Jenner, the last girl Harry had been involved with before me, was probably just as, if not even richer than he was himself. Same counted for Taylor Swift. They could go wherever he wanted to go, dress just as expensively and rent entire venues for him to host his party. Me? I had to scrap anything I had together every single month so I could afford my tiny apartment in London. Harry of course was aware that I couldn’t afford the same lifestyle as he had, but sometimes, especially when he came around with a £5000 cardigan, I wondered if he was aware how much money he actually had compared to what ordinary people earned.
When I dared looking at Anne again, she surprised me by wearing a bright smile. Both of her hands reached over the table and she took hold of my own, squeezing my fingers in a comforting gesture.

“Him thinking you aren’t suitable for him is absolutely and a hundred percent impossible, Y/N. Believe me.”

“You think so?” I asked timidly.

She nodded, still smiling confidently.

“The women Harry was with in the past,” she shook her head, pausing for a moment, then she continued, “were lovely, sure. But they never stayed around long. They never mattered to him as much as you do. He never brought one home, only introduced them casually over a dinner or sometimes not at all. Trust me, sweetheart, you are the first one he’s let get close to his heart and I can see it every day. You might not notice it because you’ve never seen him without it, but since you’re in his life, there’s an extra sparkle in his eyes and his smile is just a tiny little bit wider. He told me he’s been getting more sleep and that he even learned how to cook. That’s your influence on him, I know that. You’re taking care of him and that means the world. So trust me on this, you give him enough of what he couldn’t get himself every day. No birthday present could ever make you a failure to him.”

“Oh, Anne,” I almost squealed, blinking away the tears forming in my eyes. I squeezed her fingers in return and sniffled, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

She squeezed my hands once more and just like her son, her comforting aura was enough to ease me.

“And besides,” she continued in a giggle, “if he thinks I’m getting him anything even remotely close to £5000, he’s gone mad.”

H’s Birthday:

My lips lingered on the warm skin of Harry’s cheek and I giggled when I felt his smile beneath my lips. Harry’s hand found mine on his knee and he interlocked our fingers, humming quietly in appreciation. I could hear Gemma snicker at our interaction and I pressed another kiss to his jaw, then I withdrew. Harry’s eyes found mine and I could read his surprise in them. Normally I wasn’t as touchy feely with him when his family was around, but today I couldn’t help myself. My Harry was officially 23 years old. I couldn’t believe it.
We were sat on the couch in Harry’s living room, Gemma, Anne, Robing, Harry and me. There was cake and coffee on the small table along with the presents we’d bought for him. So far, the day had gone neatly and after the chat I had had with Anne, I felt confident about my choice of present, too.
Harry seemed so happy, relaxed and like he was enjoying himself. Just like I had intended to do, I’d been showering him with love all day long, waking him up with kisses and embracing him every few minutes. For breakfast I’d made him pancakes, bacon and eggs, making sure that the only healthy thing he got was a smoothie. And the sex well, had been mind-blowing.  
I squeezed Harry’s fingers tightly and blushed when he pressed his lips to my own cheek for a moment, as he wasn’t too much into PDA himself either, then he turned to engage in the conversation his family was leading.

“Harry,” Robing began, “I know you’re not a kid anymore, but do you want me to initiate that it’s time for you to get your presents?”

“That would be great,” Harry laughed, letting his arm rest around my waist in a loose hold.

I smiled at him lovingly and felt my stomach flutter when Harry pulled me even closer into his side, sharing his warmth with me. How did he always smell so good?
The first present he opened was Gemma’s. He let go of me and got up to hug her in thanks and joked about how it was the exact same thing he’d been thinking of getting her only weeks ago and she giggled, muttering a “liar” under her breath. Next came Anne and Robin’s present, then came mine. My fingers itched and I swallowed. Though I wasn’t worried about Harry not liking my present, I was very eager to see the excited expression on his face.

“S'big,” Harry said, giving me an impressed glance when he picked up the box I’d wrapped neatly with blue wrapping paper.

He carefully began to pull at it with care as if the paper wasn’t actually meant to be ripped apart and I giggled, resting one of my hands on his shoulder to squeeze it. He was so adorable.
Once finished, he began to tap the cartoon box as if expecting a noise and I giggled at his comedic and silly behavior. Anne shook her head at him but the smile plastered on her face was a big enough sign that she was just as delighted to be here with her son as I was. With careful fingers Harry continued to open the box and my heart squeezed when he smiled instantly.
Since I hadn’t been able to decide on one present for him, I’d gotten him several.
The first item Harry revealed was a bottle of massage oil, his favorite with the soft smell of almond mixed with vanilla. I’d remembered the many evenings where I’d found him on his couch, face a grimace of pain and exhaustion where he claimed nothing could ease and soothe him better than my fingers massaging his tense muscles. Though I was tired on most night when I came home after a long day, I’d always given in. Seeing Harry unhappy was enough of a persuasion to make me help him.

“For when your back is acting up again,” I murmured quietly, allowing my hand to run down Harry’s back in a soothing gesture, “Won’t even complain about it, I promise.”

He chuckled and nodded, setting the bottle to the side before sticking his hand back into the box in search for the next item I’d gotten him.

“Oh I wanted to get that one myself!” Gemma exclaimed when Harry held up the navy blue nail polish.

“Do you think I can pull this color off?” Harry asked me, a smile on his face. “S'a bit flashy, don’t you think?”

“It’s blue, Harry,” I laughed, “Pink would be flashy. And of course you and pull this off. There’s nothing you couldn’t, really.”

The next and last item Harry pulled out of the box was a small journal, similar to the one he already owned.

“I saw yours is almost full,” I explained when Harry smiled at the new journal.

It had the same leather cover as his other one did and since he’d decorated it with small stickers and words, I’d allowed myself to leave my own small message to him. A tiny inscription saying you’re my favorite right at the bottom of the right corner. I’d scraped it into the leather, making it a permanent decoration so he’d have something to remind him of me when we were forced to be apart.

Harry actually blushed when his thumb stroke over the words and he momentarily leaned into my side. My heart hammered in my chest.

“Open it,” I whispered quietly.

He glanced at me briefly, then he opened it slowly. At first he didn’t see it, but once he turned some of the pages he noticed that some of them were already used. And once he began to read what I’d written, he teared up. The grin on his face grew, revealing his loveably dimples and his widened.

“Y/N,” Harry sighed and shook his head.

His fingers kept on running over the paper and he swallowed visibly. He looked as if he found it difficult to believe what his eyes were reading and one of his hands found mine.

“What?” Anne asked, leaning up so she could catch a peek as well.

“They’re just some notes about us,” I explained.

But they weren’t really, not just some notes. I’d filled the pages with small texts and short sentences, all of them about Harry and me. They were tiny stories about us, remembering our first kiss, the one we’d shared standing on Jack’s balcony while all of our friends were celebrating and partying indoors. The second paragraph I wrote about how I’d felt when I’d first met Harry, how excited I’d been and how I hadn’t stopped thinking of him since then. I even admitted that I’d fallen a tiny bit in love with him already.
Harry’s eyes were still teary when he read a few more pages, then he closed the book.

“I love it.”

The words were whispered to the journal, his head held low. His hands clenched around the item and he sniffled noisily. My fingers squeezed his hand and I pressed another kiss to his arm. This was better than having wearing a wide grin. The present, one that I’d gotten him for a reasonable price, had actually made him speechless.

“I’m glad, Harry,” I giggled.

Hope you enjoyed it! Thank you to every single one of you who takes the time to read my one shots! I’m so excited and happy about every note I get. 

Rest of what I wrote: 

http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/144920695218/masterlist