no but really shit is getting serious here

I know I said that Kingdom Hearts was like that game that starts off light and fluffy and then gets dark towards the end, I think they want to out-do themselves, I mean only a few worlds ago we were fighting Hades and the whole thing seemed almost carefree, like it was just playing the first game over again with different story elements and a new villain and then it just gets really serious towards the end but here you have psychological shit, existentialism and in a sense, a deconstruction of both being the protagonist and the concept of a sequel game that’s basically the same as the first one.

You have a story that plays out exactly like the previous one but it’s only because the main character is forced into it, the reasons are completely fictional and there’s no real reason why the main character is in these worlds, he’s just there because he’s expected to be, it’s happened before so it happens now and everything that’s needed to keep the simulation as close to the original is fabricated, Riku is just a replica, designed simply because the Riku in the first game was an antagonist. It really feels like Metal Gear Solid 2, the whole thing was a simulation all for the sake of crafting the perfect soldier, or in this cast, crafting Sora into someone who would fight for the organization.

And in the end, this is still a game aimed at kids and young teens. I wonder if they go any further with this.

RP starters: Concern.
  • “It’s midnight, where the hell were you?!”
  • “Stop keeping your phone in silent, you got me worried!”
  • “Blood? Are you bleeding?”
  • “I don’t like the idea of you walking down the streets all alone.”
  • “I thought I would never see you again…”
  • “We should get you to hospital.”
  • “Where did all those bruises came from?”
  • “I have the right to be worried!”
  • “Have you been drinking? You look terrible.”
  • “Sleep at my place tonight.”
  • “I don’t feel safe letting you be alone when you’re in that shape.”
  • “Please talk to me about it.”
  • “Let me take care of you.”
  • “You need to rest now. Don’t move.”
  • “How many times have I told you to not go there?”
  • “You could’ve died, you know…”
  • “I don’t care if you don’t want my help, I’ll do it anyways.”
  • “You really need to stop drinking. I’m serious.”
  • “This time you got yourself into a hospital. I think that’s a sign.”
  • “Are you sure you’re okay?”
  • “You need to stop doing stupid shit like that or you will get yourself killed.”
  • “I’m your friend, of course I care!”
  • “You know I’m always here for you, right?”
  • “You’re not okay.”
  • “I’m just trying to help you.”
  • “Let me clean your wounds…”
  • “Why did you do it? Tell me.”
Friendship between a Slytherin and a Ravenclaw would include...

 • The perfect duo.
 • Helping the Slytherin with homework.
 • The Slytherin standing up to bullies.
 • The Slytherin never expresses feelings.
 • The Ravenclaw not really caring.
 • Knows how much they mean.
 • The Slytherin not caring about status.
 • Defending the Ravenclaw from Snape.
 • Sarcastic remarks here and there.
 • Witty comebacks.
 • Annoying the shit out of each other.
 • Trash talking each other face to face.
 • If fighting don’t bother trying to solve it.
 • You’ll only get hurt.
 • Verbally and physically.
 • Jinxing each other.
 • If serious, blood might be spilled.
 • Hexes flying everywhere.
 • Teachers trying to break them apart.
 • Only for them to getting hexed as well.
 • Making up after a week or two.
 • Late night studying.
 • The Ravenclaw doing all the work.
 • The Slytherin eating while watching.
 • “Don’t you want to help?”
 • “I am! I’m observing.”
 • “With your mouth stuffed?”
 • “That’s how I observe the best!”
 • Sneaking into each others dorms.
 • Close with the other’s family.
 • All in all the perfect friendship that no one really understands but admires.

Now There’s Your Pickup Line

Sterek, 2K, T

AU, First Kiss, New Year’s Eve

Prompted from the screenshot of that cop on Tinder with the bio: “Ever shouted Fuck the Police? Well, here’s your chance.”


Derek shut the door behind him with a sigh and sat down on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him. He hated parties, and he was pissed that Laura had dragged him to the New Year’s Eve one she was hosting at her apartment. She did a really good guilt trip, though, so Derek was there. And now, he was curious how long it would take her to realize that he was hiding in her closet. He was hoping for at least a 20-minute break away from the endless small talk.

He pulled out his phone and swiped idly through the app screens, hovering his thumb over the little flame icon. Laura had created a Tinder account for him a few weeks ago—very much against his wishes—but he’d only been on it a couple times, and he’d never swiped right for anyone. He’d never really done the online dating thing; it just hadn’t really appealed to him. It seemed to encourage quick decisions based just on someone’s looks, and well…Derek had enough of that already.

He was bored, though, so he opened the app and immediately swiped left, wincing at the cheesy shirtless mirror shot of the first guy that popped up. Derek swiped left again, for a girl whose bio just said NO DRAMA, and then couldn’t hold in the little snort at the bio of the next guy. “Ever shouted Fuck the Police? Well, here’s your chance.

Derek’s gaze drifted up to the photo, and he swallowed hard. This guy, Stiles, what kind of name was that, was seriously attractive. He was really working the cop uniform in the first photo, all broad smile and bright eyes. Probably taken at the pride parade, if the crowd behind him and the rainbow flag were any indication.

Derek swiped through the rest of the pictures—one of him with a dog, one of him shirtless on a beach, one of him playing what looked like a pickup baseball game—and audibly exhaled. He was definitely Derek’s type, tall and lean with broad shoulders. Before he could talk himself out of it, he swiped right. The app notified him of a match, and Derek couldn’t stop the little inward preen at the thought of this guy swiping right on him, too.

He ran with this foreign streak of courage and tapped the message button.

That is the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard.

Derek had no idea what the typical messaging etiquette was on Tinder, but Stiles replied just a minute later.

Keep reading

rick and morty: the rickshank redemption
         sentence starters

spoilers ahead if you have yet to watch this episode! i also kept in a bunch of quotes about the damn szechuan sauce just to make myself laugh.

‘  anyway, that’s how i escaped from space prison.  ’
‘  i just got my sixth promotion this week and i still don’t know what i do!  ’
‘  it’s great to have you back no matter where we are, but wouldn’t you like to go home?  ’
‘  get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself twelve times.  ’
‘  you cheap insect fucks didn’t think i was worth your best equipment?  ’
‘  relaxed, enough?  ’
‘  he is the smartest man in the universe.  ’
‘  well, when you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules.  ’
‘  you’ve hardly touched your pills.  ’
‘  stop saying his name. he abandoned us!  ’
‘  horses live longer than tortoises now. is that what you want?  ’
‘  maybe i just want you to care if i run away yelling!  ’
‘  admit it, you’re going crazy cooped up in here.  ’
‘  yeah well, tough titties.  ’
‘  that depends on who breaks first: me or the titty.  ’
‘  if we stay here we’ll die along with all your memories.  ’
‘  oh, that sounds cool. i can get what i want and you can say goodbye.  ’
‘  fine, but i’m driving.  ’
‘  hey, i like being 35. i can rent a car now.  ’
‘  they weaponized the eiffel tower!  ’
‘  no one’s special to him. not even himself.  ’
‘  i’m not right! i was using ghoulish overkill.  ’
‘  we’re going to the day it all began… and ended. the moment that changed everything.  ’
‘  i’d like to get a 10 piece mcnugget and a bunch of the szechuan sauce. like as much as you’re allowed to give me.  ’
‘  in 1998 they had this promotion for the disney film mulan where they created a new sauce for the nuggets called szechuan sauce and it’s DELICIOUS.  ’
‘  wow, this sauce is fucking amazing! you said it was promoting a movie?  ’
‘  i used to wear blue pants.  ’
‘  well, well, well if it isn’t us.  ’
‘  nobody has to know about that. we can put it right back and pretend we never saw it.  ’
‘  i’ll make it up as i go.  ’
‘  oh my god… i have that exact same top!  ’
‘  that’s my sister. this used to be my home.  ’
‘  imagine doing anything you want and hopping to a timeline where you never did it.  ’
‘  excuse me? we don’t pass on this. who do you think you are?  ’
‘  i heard sci-fi noises. did you make a breakthrough?  ’
‘  i only wanted to stop by here for a quick ‘i told you so.’  ’
‘  why would you do that? what is the matter with you people?  ’
‘  i’ve got it… i’ve fucking got it!!!  ’
‘  awesome possum!  ’
‘  yeah, that’s the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost.  ’
‘  you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story.  ’
‘  lovely. not only is my plan screwed up, i also forgot how to improvise!  ’
‘  he’s a spy, blow him up.  ’
‘  i’m gonna go take a shit.  ’
‘  he’s not a lawyer. we just keep him here because he’s fun.  ’
‘  i say: fuck you.  ’
‘  you killed him because you were jealous of him. that’s pretty obvious.  ’
‘  what? no! i don’t want to see your pog collection.  ’
‘  let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard.  ’
‘  he’s not a villain, but he shouldn’t be your hero. he’s more like a demon or… a super fucked up god.  ’
‘  i know you’re too stupid to get this, but you’re really fucking this up right now.  ’
‘  i wasn’t going to let her die, you fucking moron!  ’
‘  you’re a serious fucking idiot. you basically killed us all!  ’
‘  who’s stupid now, bitch?  ’
‘  i’m almost proud.  ’
‘  look, i’m not proud to share this, but the truth is i just kept crawling and it kept working.  ’
‘  guess who dismantled the government?  ’
‘  please don’t leave me again.  ’
‘  is there any light beer left? it’s insane what you miss in prison.  ’
‘  no, you’re right. where’s the vodka?  ’
‘  i’m sorry to hear that, sweetie. i hope i had nothing to do with that.  ’
‘  i better tend to him before he changes his mind and doesn’t move out.  ’
‘  but never him. you wanna know why? because he crossed me. ’
‘  take it easy – that’s dark!  ’
‘  welcome to the darkest year of our adventures!  ’
‘  if you tell them i said any of this, i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because i’m a hero and now you’re gonna have to go do whatever i say – forever!  ’
‘  and i’ll go out and i’ll find more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce because that’s what this is all about – that’s my one-armed man.  ’
‘  i’m not driven by avenging my dead family, that was fake.  ’
‘  i’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce. i want that mulan mcnugget sauce! ’
‘  that’s my series arc. if it takes nine seasons!  ’
‘  i want my mcnugget dipping sauce. szechuan sauce!  ’
‘  that’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end!  ’
‘  what are you talking about?  ’
‘  nine more seasons. nine more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce or 97 more years!  ’
‘  fine. fuck it. who cares?  ’

RWBY Vol. 4 Ch. 12

How many times is this show going to make me cry? Like, I’m not comfortable with this at all.

• It’s about to go down, guys.

• This Nuckelavee for real reminds me of that thing from CTCD and I just want it dead. Please. (“Return the slab”)

•Ren’s semblance is awesome.

•Qrow/Jaune wtf did that look even mean?

•Oh crap, their asses are getting handed to them on platinum platters.

•GO CROCEA MORS

•Stop screeching, man. It’s not that serious.

•Ren’s rage scares me. Like, honestly scares me. He, as I’ve noticed, gets a kind of one track mind when he’s angry and doesn’t think clearly so he starts getting a little reckless. And that’s so unlike him.

•NORA NO

•My baby did that self sacrifice for her man ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

•Ren low key peeped and Nora low key liked it. Don’t lie. We all saw that smirk.

•That thing did not just throw her like a ragdoll

•Oh, shit. He’s losing it again. Don’t touch his girl or he goes nuts.

•Yeah, Ren. Chill. You’re getting more wounds than necessary.

•Ren, please take a moment to calm yourself and think rationally

•Damn, I felt that slap.

•I love Nora’s progression from when she was a child. She was so scared and dull. Now, she’s still scared, but she’s also so vibrant and more confident. Proof that things 100% can get better.

• On another note, I think Ren’s kind of finally seeing her as a young adult that doesn’t necessarily need saving. I think he still saw her as that scared, defenseless kid from years ago. Like, he needed to protect her. I think now he sees that she can protect him too if they work together. But I’m pretty sure he knew that the whole time. I don’t know. These thoughts are jumbled.

•Papa Ren’s knife ❤

•Her hand ❤

•Team RNJR strategy time!!!!!!!!!

•I love how teamwork skills have progressed through the series. Like, Jaune still needs help and Ren supported him because he knows his leader still has a long way to go.

•Nora, wtf?

•YES! A GLIMPSE OF NORA’S HAPPIER SELF. I’VE MISSED HER.

•Ren’s getting serious. Back up guys. Give him some room

•Ren: Lol, did you think that pterodactyl screech would scare me?

•YES, REN. KILL THE BEAST. That inner monologue gave me a reason to be at peace

•Speaking of, I’m glad that Ren can set him mind at ease.

•Don’t ask why, but I thought Qrow disappeared because he would do some backwards shit like that.

•Where’d these airships come from?????? Who called you????? Who has service out here????

•Oh, makes sense.

•Baby Qrow is gonna live, guys

•Mistral really is beautiful (Lol, I don’t remember who posted it and I’m going to find out when I’m done here, but they’d said that if Ren, Nora, and Pyrrha stayed, and Jaune had been from Anima and stayed, they’d all be at Haven. So what made them all go to Beacon (how did Renora even get there?) Just something to think about. I promise to cite as soon as I’m done if I can find the post again 😅) Update: the user is Sunder-the-gold

•IT’S CANON. MY BABIES ARE CANON. They didn’t need a kiss to be canon and I just love that. Boop is playing. This is perfect. I hope Jaune starts teasing them in V5. I think this is good way to start making up for Pyrrha’s death. Key word: start. You’re not done until she’s back in the flesh.

•Oh… Rubes… she’s left already… babes, honey

•Weiss is finally getting out of here!!!!!!

•Baby Blake!!!! (F the new WF)

•Yang upgrade afffffffff

•Poor Tai. Both of his babies are gone again.

•Zwei is life.

•THE PICTURE OF TEAM RWBY

•Jaune, baby it’s gonna be okay. I promise. (They’re playing Cold. I’m officially done.)

•Aw, it’s a little memorial now with Papa Ren’s knife.

•Team JNR cuddle and mourn time.

•(I’m pretty sure Nora and Ren share a bed, if I’m not mistaken…)

•WEISS IS FREE!

•Old WF for life!!!!! I love the look they share

•Is that Menagerie???? Sure looks like it kind of. SHE’S GOING FOR BLAKE

•I’m still confused about Oscar. I want to learn more

•Ilia, WF spies, fuck you

•Cinder, fuck you, too. (I still think we should her for human transmutation so we can bring back Pyrrha)

•Don’t say lost, Ruby. Please.

•Ruby is so strong. I love her to pieces ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

•Qrow’s dry humor is great

•Oh, shit. She’s going for Ruby and not Blake… great! (Lol, I think she’ll be the one to tease Renora instead ;3333)

•This letter drove me to tears

•Oh, hell no

GUYS! THE MUSIC! THE ACTING! THE DEVELOPMENT! THE PLOT! THE ANIMATION! I’M DEAD!

Now, we have to wait for the soundtrack and V5 in Fall… I can’t wait that long. Please. Please no.

I Love You

Hiccup may be the Pride of Berk, but what if not everyone sees him like that? When a visiting tribe with a nasty group of bullies show up on Berk, five very protective teens will teach them why you don’t mess with the dragon riders.

Written because I hit 300 followers! Thanks so much, guys!

(Yes, the title is I Love You. Don’t ask.)

“I’m nervous.”

“No, really?” Snotlout drawled sarcastically from the chair he was sitting in. Astrid made a motion at him to cut it out, and continued to braid Hiccup’s hair.

“Hiccup, it’s fine. It’s just one peace treaty. Your dad just wants you to be there,” she said soothingly, enjoying the hair between her fingers.

“I know. But the youths never like me. Every time they visit” He pulled away from her hands, only to bury his face in her neck. “Why would they like me now?”

Fishlegs smiled at the sight. “Why wouldn’t they? Come on, what was the worst they did to you, call you skinny?”

Astrid felt Hiccup’s hot breath as he murmured an assent, and she knew he was hiding his face because he didn’t really want to answer. Her neck just happened to be there, but she didn’t half mind. She turned to press a kiss to the top of his head and then looked to see the twins come in.

“Did you plant the paint bomb in Sven’s house?”

“Of course,” Ruff said smugly, “did you doubt us, Astrid?”

“No.” She started running her fingers through Hiccup’s hair as the twins sat. Tuffnut raised an eye at them, and he made a face.

“Do you guys have to do that here?” He stuck his tongue out. “I mean, I’m happy for you guys and all, but…” He stood up, and had that Tuffnut look that she had grown so accustomed to. “What about the magic of friendship?”

Fishlegs and Snotlout both laughed, and Ruffnut stood up and shook a fist at them, making them shut up immediately. She turned to Astrid again.

“He has to go, by the way. The ship is about to arrive, I saw it.”

“No,” Hiccup whined, pressing closer to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. Astrid rolled her eyes.

“Snotlout,” she said loudly, “take him there.”

“Why do I have to do it?”

Fishlegs sighed. “Because you have to be there too, Snotlout. Ergo, you’re the best one for the job.”

“Ugh, fine. Come on, princess.” He jumped up, grabbing Hiccup, who clung to Astrid childishly before she pried him off and he followed Snotlout, pouting.

Astrid smiled. The L word was on the tip of her tongue these days, but she could wait, and so could he. There was no way Hiccup L-worded her.

“So,” she said, turning back to the twins, “how exactly did you get into Sven’s house?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Cool, my first Sin Night. I would love to see some Elide and Lorcan. Please and Thank you! :D

AHHHH welcome, friend! We have a good time here on Sin Night. Sorry this is only a mini one, I usually try to do 15 or 20 or so.

So Lorcan the Stoic King doesn’t get really sexually frustrated in public often, and Elide gets very… annoyed… by this. Because HE gets her hot and bothered DOING THE MOST MUNDANE THINGS? Discussing battle plans with Rowan? Holy shit he is so serious that’s so sexy. Strapping on all his weapons? She’s sweating bullets thinking about him strapping HER up. Eating dinner with everyone? Jesus take the wheel how does someone make eating a steak look so erotic? And he is CLUELESSSSSSS. But everyone else is SO ANNOYED BC DÄMMIT ELIDE WE’RE TRYING TO EAT. So finally FINALLY they can’t take it anymore and Gavriel just goes, “Lorcan please take Elide to your room before we die of the sexual tension. Just keep it down this time okay?” And Lorcan just drops his fork like… what? And then he sees Elide and he smells her arousal and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK okay let’s go babe

Fic: What You Need

Skank!Kurt/pocket!Blaine, inspired by this picture. ~1670 words, PG-13, fluff.

“Oh, goddammit,” Kurt said, staring down at the narrow yet surprisingly deep crack in the pavement below the bleachers. He had fumbled his lighter while pulling it out of his pants and dropped it, and from the looks of it, that lighter was going to be gone forever. “Great. Amazing. Just what I needed.”

He took a seat on the low concrete divider that helped support the metal seats, wondering what would be the fastest way to get his cigarette lit. Most of the Skanks were off in Columbus for what they were calling “Senior Ditch Day,” like they needed an excuse to ditch class, while the few that hadn’t gone were nowhere in sight. Kurt was mentally debating whether he should go buy a new lighter from the closest 7/11 or try to hunt down Quinn when a bright flash and a loud crack startled him from his thoughts.

“What the-”

“You need help?” A warm voice asked. Kurt whipped his head around trying to determine where it was coming from. “Down here!”

Kurt nearly fell off the wall and cracked his head open.

Keep reading

2

You sighed as you watched Kells and all the boys roam around the convenience store.

So far all was well, just the usual horse play and foul language, you were used to it now. 

Your job title was tour management, but what it meant was babysitter. Keep them out of legal trouble and mostly out of harms way 

After Kells broke his arm the actual manager hired you, the pay was amazing (because the job sucked) and you got to travel basically free. So the scale was balanced you guessed.

You look up and see that Kells is carrying like ten things in his arms.

‘I can get you a basket.’ you said.

‘Nope, I’m good.’ he said as he continued picking up stuff to satisfy his weed induced munchies.

‘Are you sure you don’t want a basket?’ you asked again.

‘I’m perfectly fine.’

‘What if I said I saw hot pockets in the next aisle?’ you grinned.

‘Yo do not play with me. For real?’ he said looking serious.

‘I’m dead ass.’ you smiled.

Kells rushed to the other aisle, you’d learned he really loved hot pockets when you first started and often used it to get your way.

You grabbed a random empty basket and followed him, as expected, he was struggling trying to pick up hot pockets

‘Need this?’ you asked holding out the basket.

‘See, this right here, is why I fuck with you. You smart. You’re loyal, got me on that DJ Khaled type shit.’ Kells laughed as he put his junk food in the basket.

some of yall that claim to fight for social justice and all people really tick me sometimes

cause so many of you, SO MANY, will only talk about ableism when it fits you and your agenda. Youll talk about it and use disabled people and the discrimination they face only when it suits you, only when you can make it about you, your group, what you face or just in general abled bodied people, and its disgusting.

some of you will even look at a very obvious ableist situation, that is about ableism and do everything you can to make it about a different form of discrimination that affect a different group, the erasure is so disgusting, and yes, while.there is intersectionality in alot of cases, there are tons of times where it is just ableism, and even in a case where it isnt, a lot of you go out of your way to completely disregard the ableism in the situation.

and then theres just people who flat out believe ableism doesnt exist, and so many of yall really thinking that disabled people arent discriminated against or arent as badly discriminated against as other groups, and therefore they dont get to talk about ableism, as if thats how it works, as if, because you claim to fight for social justice and equality, you get to decide what disabled people do and dont face.

what im trying to say here is, if you do this shit, youre not for social justice or equality or any of that good shit

youre just an ableist asshole who needs a very serious reality check.

hi i spent my entire afternoon browsing through your au prompts and saving pretty much all of them for future reference. i thought it was only fair i gave something back as a thank you, so i wrote some lists. i hope they’re helpful! i’ll write them all in here but feel free to make separate posts for them or let me know and i’ll write them separately

EXPECTANT PARENTS AUS

  • “i’m due in two weeks and we don’t have a single diaper i know it’s 3am but i need to get everything we need because no, we can’t keep a baby in the dog bed”
  • “hi i know you’re across the world in a business trip but our surrogate went into labor a week early so long story short you’re coming home to a baby i can’t do this alone get your ass in a plane”
  • “we’re at the er in the middle of the night wearing pajamas and scared as hell because our baby hasn’t moved in days oh the baby is just asleep? okay sorry broke your pen i’m just a really worried parent to be”
  • “i know it’s a weird craving but i want pickles ice cream i don’t care where you find it just GET IT also put bananas on it and chocolate chips”
  • “yes it is too early to install a car seat i’m only ten weeks pregnant”
  • “i’ve read seventeen books about pregnancy and i’m constantly worried about every single thing every book warned about but also trying to remain calm”
  • “i used to drink five cups of coffee before i got pregnant and now i’m going through withdrawal and i’ll slice your head in three if you give me that decaf crap again this is all your fault”
  • “hey honey you’re home i spent the last eight hours watching birth videos and i know i’m eight months pregnant but i changed my mind i’m not doing that birth thing no way”

PARENTS WITH NEWBORNS AUS

  • “i know you hate my mom but i touched our newborn’s soft spot and it freaked me out so she’s moving in until the kid can walk and talk get used to it”
  • “i had no idea something so tiny could poop so much and oh shit, you have poop on your cheek and jesus christ how did it end up on my knee”
  • “you need to stop holding your child like it’s a time bomb whAT ARE YOU DOING SUPPORT THE NECK YOU DIMWIT”
  • “we went a overboard on the newborn clothes but our child was born too big for them and now we have nothing that fits them”
  • “we’re so sleep deprived we bathed, changed and fed our child’s teddy bear while it slept soundly for the first time in almost a month”
  • “our pediatritian fired us after calling them at 2am claiming our child had measles when it was just a diaper rash”
  • “you saw me napping with our newborn in my arms and started yelling about safety and how i could crash them in my sleep now the baby is crying and i’m crying and we both feel like terrible parents/partners”
  • “i caught you staring at our baby’s crib like they’re the love of your like and making sure they slept soundly now we’re both cuddling on the floor beside the crib looking at the beautiful little thing we made”
  • “we both have hundreds of videos of our newborn making accidental spit bubbles and no one cares but we’ll show it to literally everyone”
  • “i know they’re only ten days old but we need to look into good preschools already i’m serious”
  • “i left you alone with the baby for four hours and you dressed them in formal wear while you wear only a tshirt and underwear what HAPPENED here”

POLITICS AU

  • “you’re a really unpopular senator and i’m a journalist determined to make your life hell but fuck you’re cute when you stutter and did i said that out loud?”
  • “you’re the only barista at the coffee shop near my office that is working at 6am so you get to hear my undercaffeinated ranting about how much politics suck and oh shit sorry yes i am your governor i should not have said that”
  • “i’m the new governor’s bodyguard and holy shit no one told me they’re smoking hot”
  • “i’m the first openly gay president and all the republicans are Losing It including my parents-in-law which are the ones making this even more awkward by going on tv saying i corrupted their daughter/son”
  • “i’m a secret service agent having an illicit affair with the president of the united states i deserve another shot even if i’m saying these things to the entire bar”
  • “we’re both running for the same government position and things become so heated between us during debates people are starting to bet on when we’re gonna bang”
  • “we’re old buddies from law school and i helped you with your campaign and we fell in love but you’re married and about to become president wtf we do”
  • the good wife au
  • scandal au
  • “i think it’s really cute you come to the bookstore to work on your campaigning but shouldn’t you have a staff for that oh yes i can help”

anonymous asked:

I saw that tweet about you that Moose sent out last night and it was just really mean of you to say that....

bich still ain’t invited to my stream.


I’m kidding - here, why don’t you take a look at the actual chat:

I don’t know if you’ve ever had friends, but this is what we call “giving your friend a hard time” or “giving them shit”. It’s a form of joking around with close friends who know that you’re not being serious or malicious. To people outside of the friendship, it may appear that way, but then again they have no business getting offended for someone else’s sake when the person isn’t offended in the first place.

anonymous asked:

who is the more dominant in jikook for you??

Ermahgerd Nonie! Do you mean in bed or in general? I guess I’ll do both. The short answer is 


Longer answer? They like to take turns. Kookie most definitely likes being the dominant one, and most of the time Jimin lets him think he is. But then there’s times where Jimin just shows him who’s actually the boss.

Jimin absolutely adores Kookie, and would give the world to him. This mentality sort of has Kookie thinking he’s on top doesn’t it? That he can get Jimin to do whatever he wants. Except when Jimin gets pissed, or puts his foot down on something, I bet it takes less than a day, maybe a day tops, before Kookie comes running to Jimin begging for forgiveness. He’ll do whatever it takes. (Of course, Kookie does have a stubborn streak, so he can really hold back if he’s serious.)

But, for me, Jimin really has the reigns here, Kookie just doesn’t realize it. Say Kookie pisses Jimin off and in turn Jimin gives Kookie the cold shoulder. A few days in Kookie’s begging for forgiveness in any form he can (ie touchy touchy, hyung this hyung that). Jimin’s having none of it. One normal afternoon everything goes to shit and the rest of the gang knows to get the hell out of dodge cause shit’s about to get real. And there’s screaming and yelling and suddenly Jimin yanks Kookie by the collar and slams him into the wall. They stay for for a few seconds, just breathing heavily. Jimin looks furious and Kookie thinks Jimin’s gonna rip his head off and is actually in fear for his life when Jimin kisses him. Hard. It kinda feels like Jimin punched him, actually. And Jimin yanks on Kookie’s shirt again until they’re in the bedroom and pushes Kookie down on the bed.

And when Kookie sees where this is going he’s so holy fucking shit turned on because he’s never seen Jimin like this and for some reason he really really likes being dominated. Needs to feel like someone else has the control for once. You can bet there’s more screaming to follow *wiggly eyebrows*.

Lol what was I talking about again? 

So, for the most part, it may look like Kookie’s the dominant one, but he’s really just putty in Jimin’s hands. 

(At least that’s what I’d like to think. Hehe so many people like Jimin as a bottom, and don’t get me wrong, it’s hella hot, but for some reason I really like Jimin topping.)

If you have head canons you want to share, or if you want me to share mine, shoot me an ask

Sh 2x08 Recap

Weekly recap here: *taps chin* Where do I even begin?

So, the show is definitely getting better. I really enjoyed this episode, despite some upsets..

1) *Singing* Fuck you, and fuck her too. Alec hand delivered a ‘fuck you’ to maryse and I loved every minute of it. He was like ‘this is my man, and we done fucked, and he aint going anywhere cuz we done fucked, and you better get your shit together bihh.’ 

But on a serious note, I’m proud of him. Alec has internalized his feelings for so long, thinking that he was somehow wrong for being gay; all b/c that’s the way he was brought up thinking. He’s starting to accept himself, and accept his sexuality, and he’s proud of who he is. In order for Malec to work, Alec had to learn how to love himself first. So him standing up for his sexuality, and his boyfriend, to his mother, was so important. Glad the show showed this. 

2) We did miss the sex scene. All the upset malec fans can go ahead and be upset now; even though I suggest you don’t. At least we got to see ‘where the magic happened’ even though we saw the bedroom b/c of a fucking cat. Still, can you imagine? Alec writhing, and arching his back, on those silk sheets? His neck barred while Magnus goes to town on that ass, and his runes? Ugh…fuck. Okay, I need to get it together. 

3) Can we talk about Jace and Magnus right quick? I almost died when Jace scared Magnus, b/c Magnus thought Jace could feel Magnus and Alec having sex. Lmfao, like can you imagine? “Alec? You want to know why I keep cockblocking? Because I’m tired of being in the middle of training and feeling your fourth orgasm!!” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Okay, I’m done. 

But lowkey, Jace being attacked by kittens was too fucking hilarious. I need more Jace and kittens. Jace needs nice and fluffy things. 

I also want to know if Magnus will feel a bit guilty for allowing all this to happen? I mean, it’s because Magnus is so welcoming and trusting, the warlock knew she could disguise herself as a cat in order to do what she needed to do. It must hurt to have your weakness exploited against you like this. 

4) Magnus and Max met!! BUT it did NOT go like planned. Honestly, fuck Maryse for putting those thoughts into Max’s head. He’s a child and they are prone to copying what they see, hear, and experience. Magnus and Max should have had such a cute meeting, but instead it was ruined by Maryse’s ignorance, even though she’s now starting to realize the error of her ways. I do love how the show portrayed this because this is how generational hatred is created. You aren’t born to hate.

I know Maryse has been dealing with her husband cheating and instead of confronting the cheating she turns her anger and annoyance onto Magnus. Not right, but all we can do is learn and grow from our mistakes. 

5) BAMF Magnus??? Can I get a ‘hell yeah?’ The way he worked his magic this episode seriously fucked me up. He was so freaking hot, and talented, and bamf as fuck. R.I.P. me. I bet Alec’s dick was hard as fuck. 

6) *Pulls out every knife in my house, even the plastic knives and butter knives.* I’m seriously coming for Valentine. Like, how dare he? How fucking dare he do those hallucinations that almost made Jace kill Maryse, and Alec kill himself?? Boy, oh boy, let me at him. *Takes off earrings.* I will fuck him up. Not only that, but he done kidnapped Alec’s future daughter, Madzie. Fuck him!!! *Alec save your child!!!* But real talk, now that oh girl is with the Clave, Madzie is going to be all alone so Alec needs to adopt her. 

7) When Alec said ‘stay with us?’ Can I please fangirl interpret that as meaning he stays with Magnus because Jace stays with Magnus, so what is this us? Unless he meant Izzy, but fuck it. I’ll do my own head canon. 

8) Izzy and Raphael. *Sighs* I loved this, and hated it all at the same time. Izzy was so vulnerable, and that’s why she’s doing this b/c she can’t keep pretending that she’s A Okay all the time. However, she exploited Raphael’s weakness and she never apologized for it. Raphael almost broke, and even had to apologize to Magnus because he knew what he was doing was wrong. Raphael is such a good person he was willing to risk his own recovery to help ease Izzy out of danger. Please give this guy all the love. I really did hate the way Izzy treated Raphael like her personal property, just bending him to do what she wanted without remorse. Addict or not, that’s fucked up and not okay and what’s so sad is that Raphael is so prone to people using him. Fuck, my heart hurts for this guy. Also, I think Raphael and Izzy could be cute together if done right. 

9) All the climon fans are happy, I know. I never liked book Climon, for multiple reasons, but I am willing to give show climon a chance. I can’t really talk on them just yet because I’m still getting over my book hatred. On a side note, the actor’s are so adorable and having climon together is cute. It’s just going to suck when jace realizes he and Clary aren’t related. *Can you say drama?* 

So in a nutshell, Valentine is still being a dick and trying to use Clary to destroy all downworlders b/c Valentine is a massive asshole with a god complex and a lot on the sociopath side. 

Maryse and her children, minus Izzy, seem to be on the track to working things out. Malec is so together it hurts. Climon is going to bring drama, but they cute though. And Izzy is in need of some serious intervention. Also, *Spoiler for next episode*, it looks like Alec may find out Magnus knew about Izzy seeking out a vamp dealer and is going to try and blame Magnus for it, which means drama!!!! I’m here for it all! 

Just Roommates: Part 1

Plot- Jungkook as your roommate+College adventures lol. 

Word count- 1.5k+

Characters- Reader, Jimin, Jungkook

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3  Part 4  

casual texting shit- part 1, part 2  

A/N- So I was reading this amazing Roommate AU series off @jungkookfortunekookies and I got lowkey inspired to write something similar. Hope y’all enjoy this. <3 Thanks to noona for creating and giving this beautiful idea love her. <3 

-

Ugh.

Life was really difficult at this point because you had just moved to another country for your bachelor’s degree. You were a good student and you were luckily provided with an apartment near your uni by authorities. The only thing that you were kept a secret with was that your roommate was actually a guy.

A GUY.

Your POV-

I had just got off the cab in front of a beautiful mellow red building with green springs flowing from each balcony. It was delightful to see where I was about to live for 4 years now. I started to collect my stuff from the mini truck that had come along.
“New place, new faces, new life… this is it y/n. You’ve made it till here alive and functioning and you’ll survive.” I thought to myself as I take a deep breath, clutching my own self because of the mildly cold weather.

“I wonder what my roommate would be like. I hope it’s not someone too crazy, or a murderer or something like that.” My thoughts were consuming me as moving to another country only left me dependent of one person, unwantedly though, but it had to be my roommate I have to get along first.

“OUCH!” I scream as a large carton fell on my head from the piles of boxes I had been gathering around.

“Are you okay?! Do you need help?” a soft, heart-warming boyish voice comes from the back of me, who was now on the ground with a box on my head and the canvases and paint bottles fallen all over the place.

“Well, I guess so…” I said dumbly raising my hands with petty, with the box over my face. I heard the voice chuckle. I removed the box from my face and just was left breathless. A beautiful Sunkist pale skinned face with ebony hair and unrealistic body proportion, almost that like of a Greek god or even better, was right in from of me, diligently gathering my canvases. He was dressed in achromes and was absolutely stunning to human eyes. I couldn’t really focus on him, but, God, I swear he was hot. Before I could be more shameless in staring at him, he cuts me off.

“Yo! Here.” He handed me over my stuff.

“Uh-Oh-! Yeah! Thanks. Jesus Christ, I’m so clumsy.” I stammered out of embarrassment caused by his overwhelming perfection.

HOLY FUCK WHO IS THIS MAN

“I got to go now, let’s see if we meet again.” He gave me the brightest smile before zooming out of my face on his skateboard.

“T-T-T-Thanks…” Before I could barely even thank him, he left.

“Wow. Will I ever even get to see this man and thank him properly?” I sighed.  

I quickly move inside the building not wasting anymore time in thinking about someone I wasn’t going to meet again.

There I was finally, in front of my house from now to 4 years more. I knocked on the door.  A surprisingly cute boy opens up the door and- “Ah, a girl? What on earth is happening?”

“Well, your mum is a girl too.” I sassed him back.

“Huh, never mind. What are you here for though?” he asked.

“I am going to live here from now on, apparently.” I told him, yet keeping the sass up.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THIS BOY GOING TO BE MY ROOMATE? WTF. HE’S CUTE, BUT THIS IS A GUY HERE OMFG WAE?!

“Oh, I’m sorry. Please come in! I mistook you there.” 

Trying to hide the crime boy.

“By the way, I’m y/n. I’m new here.” That was me giving a generic introduction to my ‘roommate’ I guess.

“I’m Jimin. Let me help you with your boxes.” He said as he let me in the apartment.

That was really sweet of him. BUT STILL AM I GOING TO ROOM WITH A GUY? UNACCEPTALBEEEEEEEEE. MORE LIKE, UNCOMFORTABLEEEEE!

I moved about a bit to check the place. It was surprisingly clean for a guy to live in. the house had an amazing smell aura and it was very mesmerizing. There were scented candles, house plants and everything about that place seemed to perfect to exist. It was a blessing. It wasn’t furnished completely, but whatever there was, was too good.

“Woah, I like this house too much already.” My eyes lit up.

I approached the bedroom but then suddenly, Jimin called me out, “NO! You can’t take that room! It’s occupied.”

“huh?! What do you mean? We are supposed to be roommates now, I think I can have the right to choose a room of my choice.” I told him.

“We? Roommates? What are you saying, woman? I am not your roommate.” He laughed out loud.

WHAT THE HECK? HE AINT MY ROOMMATE, THEN WHO IS?!

“Then what are you even doing here?” I was confused at this point.

“Damn it! It’s my girlfriend; the one who will be sharing this place with you.”

GIRLFRIEND. OKAY, Y/N IF YOU HAD ANY DREAMS WITH THIS ONE, LEAVE THEM IN HELL. HE’S STILL CUTE THOUGH. HIS GIRLFRIEND IS ONE LUCKY BITCH.

So, it was a girl I was supposed to live with. I guess that is fine, but it got me kind of excited to even think about living with a guy. Only if he was like Jimin.

“Oh, I see.” I spoke slightly disappointed. “Yeah…” He nodded.

“I think I will arrange my stuff now.” I told him whilst unboxing.

“Sure, let me know once you are done. I guess we’ll meet often now.” He winked at me, taking a bite out of his chocolate bar.

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF DID HE JUST LOWKEY FLIRT WITH ME?! WTF. Okay calm down y/n. it’s just a guy, who’s girlfriend lives with you now. Nothing is going to happen. Calm the fucking tittes down.

It was 9pm now. And I had finally unpacked and arranged my things. It all looked so pretty. Me and Jimin had a pretty decent conversation about the uni and I was 90% of the conversation as I was nonstop blabbering about me being excited and awkward.

“I think I have to go now. See you tomorrow y/n! nice to meet you really. I hope you’ll like my girlfriend.” He gave a quick flying kiss before leaving.

Okay well, this was nice. Meeting with two of the most attractive men in life and getting my dreams shattered twice in a day. Great start, I thought.

I finally lay on the mattress kept in the living room area wondering about my life from now on. “Wow, I stink.” I muttered to myself. I got up and lit some candles already kept in the living room and turning on ferry lights to make the room look better. I quickly went in for a shower.

OKAY, WHAT THE HELL.

There were so many men’s grooming item in there. I was shook. I couldn’t undersyand anything that was going on there.

“What kind of a girl uses all of the men’s grooming items…” still shook me, took a quick shower, not thinking too much about it. I stepped out in just a towel wrapped around me. My soaking hair fell on my shoulders giving me shivers in the cold weather. 

As I entered the living room in my towel, I was shook again as I saw someone. 

It was the same guy! The skateboarded! Holy shit! Oh my god what the hell is he doing? Am I dead? Am I hallucinating? What the fuck y/n?! I was literally naked and this is how I met him again? First time it was me, dying on the ground and now here I am, soaking wet, just in a towel… Wow. I loved this day.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW DID YOU GET IN? YAAH! WHO ARE YOU? OH MY GOD!” He practically screamt in my full face almost covering his face to avoid looking at me.

“UM EXCUSE ME, HOW DID *YOU* GET IN?” THIS IS MY APARTMENT OKAY HOLY SHIT.” I was really in no mood for jokes now. This was serious business. Did he follow me? Is he a pervert? Probably not-

We both had a ‘who screams louder’ competition there.

“UH WHAT- THE-, this is your apartment?” he was shook now.

“Well, yeah? Why else would I be standing in a towel like this?” I told him.

“HOLY Shit- You’re my roommate then!” he had his hand covering his mouth now.

ASDFGHJKL HOLY FUCKING BRICKS. This GUY?!

“You?! But wasn’t it supposed to be a girl?” I scraped my head.

“Daebak! Jimin was here? Wasn’t he?” He face-palmed and I noticed his slender fingers with rings on, which were very seducing. Holy shit why isn’t this day enough?

“Yes, I met him. He told me that his girlfriend was living here, so how is it you? Like how, what? Why? I’m confused” 

I was perpetually torn between feeling awkward, awful, aroused and ashamed.

“I am the girlfriend.” He let out a funny sigh. “He calls me that.” He was lol-ing so hard now, almost crying. He fell on the mattress and hid his face with a pillow.

Is he okay? Well, I am not. This guy I swear I couldn’t ask for more from god at this moment in life. A hot guy in my room, with me, for 4 years. 

This was going to be fun. 

-

was it okay? please let me know. i have a lot more to write in this. xoxo :P 

I’ll Be Good - Part 18

Masterlist -  Series Masterlist  -  Part 17  -  Part 19

Summary: Series - You’re an old colleague of Natasha’s who finds herself face to face with the Winter Soldier on the wrong end of an Avengers’ op. Chapter – You face the consequences of the failed mission, and are forced to share more about your work before you came to the compound.

Warnings: swearing, angst train! toot toot!

Word Count: 2911 - ok I need to stop promising to make these shorter… it’s just not going to happen.

Author’s Note: I really like this part! Hold on guys, plot is picking up again! So much dialogue in this one! Yowza. Also I’ve officially reached the point in this series where I have to fact check myself… against myself lol. XD As always, my Russain has been rusting for like 7+ years so feel free to pm me corrections :)

Originally posted by esgaroths

Stepping out of your scalding shower, your mind was still swimming with thoughts of Bucky. It wasn’t like you to be so wrapped up, chewing absentmindedly on the edge of your nail, kicking your clothes into a heap in the corner instead of neatly folded. You were distracted, careless, even.

When you came out of your bathroom, squeezing the water out of your hair with your towel, you yelped and jumped slightly, your heart pounding when your eyes finally made it to the bed and found Natasha perched on it, legs curled under her. Shit, I really am distracted. Get it together! She eyed you carefully, obviously sharing your thoughts.

Keep reading

Komaeda’ve disappeared for fucking 6 months and no one give a shit about that

wiBut, hey look at these screenshots. 

He alone all the time (even in the opening)

he intentionally keeps distance from others (just look at the gap between him and Kuzuryu, it’s so far ;__;)

  Chisa’s the only one who care about him

He doesn’t have friend. No wonder why his classmate don’t give a shit about his absentness

Btw, I just want to say that Komaeda didn’t do anything (to his classmate) to deserve this “don’t-give-a-shit” attitude from them (In the game he did deserve it thou).I know he get suspended because of what he did but no one see or can contact him for fucking 6 months and you all just okay with that. I just hope his classmate can show some concern about his whereabouts. This scene make me feel so sad.
Ps: Maybe Hinata’s the only one who considers Komaeda as a friend (or he doesn’t I don’t really remember the game but who care I ship Komahina so yeah) 

Ps2: I don’t hate 77th kids. I juts feel sad for Ko

Edit: Oh! I’ve just remembered that Komaeda don’t have parent nor relative, right? So that mean Komaeda’s a lonely kid diagnosed with stage 3 malignant lymphoma and frontotemporal lobe dementia, having no parent, no relative, no friend, living alone and can die at anytime. No one care about him. No one can actually understand or try to understand him (except Chisa and Hinata). Guys! Please give this kid more love and Hinata. He deserves more love. Please love him.

Edit, after episode 8: The new episode really pissed me off and because this post’s still getting reblog so I’ll edit here. 

Komaeda disappeared for a fucking year and they gave Ko this look when he came back.


 Srsly tho, WHAT DID KOMAEDA DO WRONG TO YOU GUYS? Why you guys hate him so much?  He disappeared for a fucking years and when he came back no one give a shit about him because they’re busying with finding Tsumiki who has absented from class for 3 days, like, srsly. Please, he’d gone for a year, at least ask him “how you’re going?” or just give him a look.

And here is my serious question WHY 77TH CLASS HATE KO SO MUCH?

He’s just weird and talks too much about hope. But know what? The 77th class’s student are also weird af event Chisa’s weird too but they’re all friendly with each other. Also, Saionji bullied Mikan, Tereteru’s a pervert and they all fine with them. Then, why just Komaeda? Is it because of the fucking hope? And don’t tell me it’s because he keeps distance from others! Chiaki, at first, also kept distance from others. And then Chisa try her best to get Chiaki closer to her classmate (not Komaeda tho because he’s not a perfect waifu, he’s not good at playing game, he’s not Chiaki). Please give me a fucking reason. I’m ok with everything as long as it’s a fucking reason. I love SDR2 cast so much don’t make me hate them. 

Friendly reminder: “I have no parents, no siblings, no relatives…not even friends or acquaintances…I was fine with that while I was still healthy but it’s quite lonely to die alone…Now that I’m on the verge of death, I’ll finally realized what I wanted all along: Somebody’s love” - Nagito Komaeda 

(Replay the game while watching anime gave me shit. When I wrote this post I didn’t cry but I’m crying now. So unfair for Ko. He just want to be loved)

#LoveForKomaeda