no but really it's super nasty outside


Fuckin Sera and Zevran.

I feel like these two would be besties, especially since Zevran isn’t super ‘elfy’, and they’re both just ridiculous.

They start with smoke bombs in Haven’s Chantry. Not just any smoke bombs, really fucking smelly ones. Remember those stink bombs in high school that they’d have to clear out an entire wing of the school because it was just so NASTY when one got dropped? Like that.
They run outside yelling that one of the tapestries caught fire, and of course everyone runs to help, only to be overcome by the absolute smelliest of smells. The kind of smell that smells…smelly. Josephine actually vomits its so bad.

The next day they do it again, only they drop two.

And on the third day, they drop three. This time, Cassandra corners them and puts the fear of the Maker into them. Zevran tries to flirt his way out and Solas has to reset his jaw.

On the fourth day, Sera and Zev are dropping off some materials to Minaeve. A fire essence from a Rage Demon accidentally drops and the vial its in shatters. Ancient, priceless tapestries go up in flames. They all run outside screaming that Josephine’s office is on fire and no one believes them. Cassandra is about to sock Zevran again when a corner of the Chantry just fucking explodes. There’s chaos everywhere. Everyone is convinced it’s another Kirkwall incident, when really Sera just has butter fingers (her hands are literally soaked in butter. No one knows why. No one asks).